A/N: TRIGGER WARNING for slight mentions of abuse. Hopefully I'm not moving this along too slow or too fast. Next chapter should be the conclusion.
When Regina woke the next morning, there was a note with her name on it set on the floor just outside her chamber. She picked it up, unfolded it, and saw cute, bubbly-lettered cursive written on the parchment. It read:
My Maybe Friend,
Our parents have arranged a week of activities for us to partake in and witness while we continue to get to know each other. I asked for them to give us today to be apart and take a moment to adjust to the current living situation, but they denied my request.
I know you wanted space and I will do what I can to give it to you, but know that we are expected to be joined at the hip for the next few days. Depending on when you see this, breakfast may be sooner than you would like and I will be there at the place setting right next to yours as it was for last night's supper. I hope that while our parents belligerently throw us at each other that you will understand I mean no harm and will apply no pressure for you to warm up to me just yet.
Truthfully, this note is a warning so you don't have to hear it for the first time at breakfast in front of everyone. I figured you at least deserved the time in your chamber before coming down to eat for you to process what is to happen. If there is anything else I might do to make you a little more comfortable with all of this, please don't hesitate to tell me. Although, I recommend you tell me in private. Another fight would not make our situation any better when dealing with our parents.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who is on Your Side
Regina contained her smile, but inwardly expressed it as she finished reading the letter. Emma was too kind. Regina replayed her last conversation with Emma, that flash of hope, and the smile she felt within herself vanished. The warmth was snuffed out like a cap to a burning candle and was replaced by the icy cold, black pit that surrounded her most days.
The handmaid from the previous night appeared in her peripheral vision and Regina snapped herself out of her troubling thoughts.
"A meal is being prepared for everyone. I have instructions to help you dress and escort you to the table."
Regina curtly nodded and permitted the woman into her chamber. She tucked the note under her bed while the maid went to the wardrobe to find a suitable outfit for her and once she was ready, she went along with the handmaid to the dining quarters.
Everyone else was already seated and Regina worried she'd gotten a late start. She'd exhausted herself the prior night because not only could she not sleep, but she couldn't stop the silent tears that streaked her face and created a crippling pain in her chest from holding back the sobs so she wasn't heard. If she showed any weakness, her mother would set her straight, but if she showed any weakness and caught the attention of the Whites then she risked receiving an unforgiving lashing. The whip was worse than the belt. It was finer and came down faster. It ripped open skin right away whereas the belt left bright red marks and stung, but didn't always break skin. She could handle the effects of the belt. She struggled with those of the whip and she loathed what a week with all the activities planned with Emma would be like if she was healing from the lashes all the while.
Regina's eyes quickly found Emma and the empty space beside her. She politely smiled at Snow and Charming before she walked around the table and took her seat.
"I hope your morning has been well," Charming said as Regina settled into her spot next to his daughter then gave a nod to the handmaid who curtsied in response then left the room.
"Yes, thank you," Regina replied. "I apologize for my delay. I took the time to get a little more familiar with my chamber before your lovely handmaid came to retrieve me."
"Worry not," Snow assured her. "Emma has informed us that this may be new to you and that you still need more time to adjust. We understand. We aren't heartless like our daughter seems to think."
Snow shot Emma a glare to which Emma responded with a cheeky smile.
"I never used the word heartless," the blonde argued.
Snow wryly smiled back.
"Nevertheless, we aren't going to push you into this," Snow added. "We expect you to make the most of your time here, but there is no rush for our daughter to wed. Ask us again in a year and that might be an entirely different story."
Snow warmly smiled at Regina and Charming mirrored it.
Regina nervously smiled back and looked to Emma. The blonde bumped shoulders with her and quietly said, "It's supposed to be a joke."
Regina's expression lightened, a slight weight lifted from her shoulder that Emma's family actually joked with each other. Regina joked with her father plenty of times, but her mother was always so serious and conniving and her mother circled around her like a vulture. It was hard to be so carefree like the Whites.
Cora chuckled along with everyone and briefly glanced at Regina, but kept most of her focus on the others.
"What is our first activity," Regina broke away from the thoughts of Cora and her plan that loomed in her head and threatened to ruin the morning before it had really even started.
"We hear you are an excellent rider," Charming answered. "We thought you might give Emma a few lessons and take a ride around the kingdom. Maybe enjoy some alone time at our family's Winter Palace?"
"Father," Emma warned.
Charming raised his hands in surrender and smiled at the blonde.
"But that is entirely up to you girls," he added.
"Thank you," Regina smiled at him and bowed her head.
"What is this bowing," Charming asked with a furrowed brow then widened his smile. "You don't need to bow your head to me if you still plan on marrying my daughter. Think of the Queen and me as your friends."
Regina breathed out a relieved little laugh.
"Yes, your Majesty."
"So long as you don't hurt her," Snow amended, "we can desist with such formalities between the three of us, including the use of our titles."
Regina nodded.
"That is very kind of you."
"We want you to feel comfortable here. It must not be easy to be away from home, and with your father's health in question I can only imagine how difficult this all must be for you," Charming sympathized. "Emma does have a point that this all might be a little rushed for you, and you are a nice, young girl, certainly someone Emma likes. We want the absolute best for her, and right now, that seems to be you. So we want this to work out and we are willing to do whatever it takes to ease you into all of this."
It sounded to Regina like Emma got all her charm from her father.
Regina smiled, though her cheeks hurt from the fakeness of the expression. She wanted to be genuine with Charming and Snow and of course Emma, but she never could with Cora around. She carried around a heavy burden and deceit as to their true intention for seeking Princess Emma's hand. Snow and Charming being polite and accommodating did nothing to make her feel better about any of it. It made her feel worse. They were nice people and nice people didn't deserve the evil Cora had planned for them. Regina didn't know anyone who did.
After a moment, breakfast was brought out and served. For a while, no one said anything more while they enjoyed their food, and it was good food. She figured the White family probably had one of the best chefs in all of the Enchanted Forest because they were one of the stronger bloodlines. They had significant power and wealth and Regina had been to one of her cousin's palaces when she was younger. They also had good food, but her cousin was the crown prince, heir to her father's family's throne. Her own father, Henry, was fifth in line to be King, the youngest of five brothers. She was heir to nothing as it stood so it made complete sense why her mother targeted the Whites. Also, she'd once heard her mother yell at her father about a woman named Eva and how that woman's daughter should suffer as her departed mother had.
Regina didn't understand it, but she did understand that her mother was vengeful and power hungry. It was how she had come to possess magic, after all. With her and her mother in place at the White's Summer Palace, she could then acquire status and a title through her daughter to add to the power she already had as a sorceress.
Near the end of the breakfast, Emma occasionally kept looking over at Regina and her plate. The blonde had finished most of a very sufficient serving and yet, it didn't stop her from reaching over and stealing a bite from Regina's plate.
"Emma," Regina exclaimed, and Emma laughed as she chewed.
Regina rolled her eyes, but the corners of her mouth started to quirk into a smile as she remembered their conversation from the first time they met.
As if Emma had read her mind, the blonde said, "I told you very early on that I eat a lot."
Regina looked at Emma and she felt her smile widen.
"It is entirely your fault and not mine that you left your food right there, in front of my face, like I wasn't going to try something like that," Emma added and then confidently stole another bite.
Regina sighed and finished the rest of her meal without another incident while her smile naturally faded with the lack of entertainment a few seconds later.
What am I going to do with you, she thought.
Regina burst with laughter. Emma had fallen off her horse for the third time and they hadn't even made it that far from the palace.
"My father said to give me lessons," Emma growled as she stood up and brushed off her riding clothes. "I don't hear you giving any."
"I'm sorry." She wasn't. "I just thought once you were on the horse you'd know how to stay on. We were barely at a trot."
"Easy for you to say. You can ride like a man," Emma teased.
Regina gasped, but quickly grinned as she clicked her tongue and walked her horse right into Emma's personal space. The princess had barely gotten her balance back on her own two feet and she'd cowered away from the horse she chose to ride even when he'd still been stuck in his stall.
Emma yelped and stumbled backward as she shooed Regina's horse away, his nostrils close enough to wet her cheek before she fell on her ass.
Regina laughed again and pulled on her horse's reins. Her horse backed away from Emma and Regina took in the picture of amusing victory her actions created.
"What was that about my riding," Regina rhetorically asked with a smirk.
A moment later, Regina extended her hand to Emma in an offer to help the girl up.
Emma looked from Regina's hand up to Regina's eyes. She hesitated, but took Regina's hand and started to pull herself up when all of a sudden—
Regina let out a surprised yell and tried to clench her thighs around her saddle, but Emma's sword fighting arm muscles came in handy and managed to yank Regina right off her horse. The brunette fell to her side and landed in a tangled heap on top of the blonde.
Emma laughed even as their bodies pressed flat against each other while Regina gasped at their position.
Regina's eyes were wide and though she'd been shocked to have fallen at all let alone fallen on top of the princess, the brunette had yet to move.
Emma's laughter subsided and in a moment, the air around them was silent except for their slightly heavy breathing and the shuffling clomps of the horses as they impatiently waited nearby. They locked eyes and Regina's mind almost blanked with the feel of Emma beneath her. It was an odd sensation, to be on top of another person and have control over when and how their situation ended. Aside from the rush of the freedom riding horses gave her, Regina had never felt any sense of control or power before. If she wanted to get technical though, the fate of Emma and her parents were in her hands. That was plenty of control, but it wasn't the kind she wanted or liked. On top of Emma? That was the control she preferred.
But she couldn't think about that. Her mother had a devastating mission for her to execute and Regina couldn't allow herself to feel anything for Emma. She had to truly be the blonde's friend and keep her distance.
Protect her, remember, Regina chided herself.
Regina scrambled off Emma and brushed her hands over her pants while she kept her eyes focused on her task. Once again, she avoided eye contact with Emma and it lasted for most of the day. Even as they stopped at the Winter Palace for a break before they doubled back to the Summer Palace, Regina said no more than a few words to Emma without any more than a glance or two thrown her way.
Emma tried to engage her in conversation while they snacked on the food they brought in a sack for a small lunch together, but Regina only responded with hums or head movements or sometimes just sighs and shrugs.
By the time they returned to the Summer Palace, Emma was deflated by the lack of communication, but she smiled at her parents and Cora went they entered. She allowed Regina to disappear to her chamber before supper and reported to their parents' that everything went well and that Regina wanted to rest before dinner.
"She taught me enough so that we could race," Emma told them. "She pushed that horse like she was conditioning it."
Snow and Charming laughed while Cora smiled and nodded.
Regina woke earlier the next morning, but sure enough there was still a note placed outside of her chamber when she went to see if the handmaid was nearby.
My Maybe Friend,
I hope I didn't do anything to upset you yesterday. It was all in good fun, but if my actions have in any way hurt you or pushed you away from me, I apologize and promise to refrain from a repeat performance.
The good news is, our parents are pleased. I think the only thing we have to worry about is your feelings about all of this should you decide our friendship is enough for you. I know you said you wanted children and maybe because of how I pulled you off the horse it made you think of our wedding night it made you pull away. I asked you not to do that, remember? If you have a problem with something I say or do, I want to know so I can fix it. I thought we had a wonderful time yesterday…until you stopped talking to me. I agree that children may be something we need to discuss and how that will affect how our marriage will work, but I'm not unapproachable about the subject. If there is a solution we can come up with and settle on, I will do it. I don't want to lose you, Regina. I like you. I hope you like me too.
Sincerely,
The Bane of Your Existence?
Regina tried to see the note from a positive perspective. Emma had signed it "the bane of your existence" with a question mark. The blonde must have thought they moved further away from friendship the previous day. That was good. It was supposed to be good, anyway. If Emma thought they weren't making progress or that they were moving backward instead of forward, maybe Emma would call off the arrangement. Maybe if she did that, the White family would leave and Regina could deal with the consequences back home. It was better than the reverse.
However, Regina didn't actually think it was good. It was sweet and sad and Emma clearly still wanted to make their relationship, marriage or friendship or both, work. She still had hope and she wanted to talk about children. It was Regina's only real excuse she'd expressed as to why she wouldn't want to marry the girl, and Emma wanted to find a solution to the problem. It was unbelievable how amazing the blonde was, how much she cared about them when all she saw was Regina keeping her distance. It wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair, but it had to be done.
Regina picked out her outfit before the handmaid came to help—a simple dress that she didn't need much assistance with—and she made it to breakfast later than the Whites but earlier than her mother. The meal was enjoyed in silence, more so than the previous morning, and Regina would have been happy with that. Would have was the key phrase.
Emma kept a neutral expression most of the time and though Regina did nothing to lighten Emma's possibly horrible mood hidden beneath her mask, she waited for the blonde's smile even if it wasn't directed at her. The smile never came.
It was foolish to want such things when Regina was the one to push Emma away, especially due to the reason why Regina pushed her away. It was a damn good reason and she stuck by her decision, but she wasn't sure what was worse: Emma's sadness or a friendship cherished while it still could be. She started to lean toward sadness, but when she thought of the betrayal Emma could potentially feel once it was revealed why Regina was really there to marry her, she figured it was best not to toy with the darling blonde's emotions.
Emma would be miserable, but maybe it would give her and her parents a chance to live.
For a girl who didn't want Emma to have hope for their friendship, Regina certainly had an awful lot of hope herself, for Emma and her family's safety.
When breakfast was over and everyone left the table, Regina had the urge to follow Emma and get her alone so they could talk. Emma at least deserved a conversation. Unfortunately, Regina's urge didn't command her. Her mother commanded her, and Cora swooped in and stood directly in front of Regina before the brunette could wander off anywhere.
"From what I've heard of yesterday's affairs you seem to be on the right path," Cora said.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment or should I wait for your critique?"
"Don't sass me, Regina. You're finally doing something right. I don't want you to ruin how proud I am of you with your attitude."
Regina tried not to slouch. She wanted to be anywhere but there. She'd prefer to stand in front of Emma while the blonde lectured her on how to be a real friend and somehow punish her for her cold behavior. But she wasn't lucky enough to get what she wanted so there she stood and there she waited for Cora to come to some kind of conclusion.
"Keep this up and maybe tomorrow you can start to discuss a date for the ceremony," Cora continued. "We need to figure out a timeline for how the rest of this should play out and I'd like to have that sooner rather than later."
Regina didn't say a word. She didn't even nod her comprehension.
Cora narrowed her gaze with a flicker of anger in her dark brown eyes.
"You will do this, Regina. I can make your life hell."
You already do, Regina desperately wanted to say, but didn't.
"However," Cora darkly add, "I can always end your father's suffering if you wish to be difficult."
Regina's eyes almost undetectably widened, but Cora's eyes glimmered with sick pleasure at the change in expression. She had grown accustomed to Regina's faces and moods after years of her abuse because the woman loved to study Regina to ensure maximum pain and understanding was achieved. She effortlessly read her like a book.
"I thought that might convince you," Cora spoke again. "Play nice, dear."
With those final parting words, Cora left Regina to her day with Emma, which ended almost, but not quite, as poorly as the last one.
They sat in cushioned seats and watched as guards trained before they put on a show for the not-so-happy couple. They hadn't spoken since the day before, although Regina wondered if Emma's note counted as a conversation even if it had been one-sided. Either way, Emma was too quiet and Regina couldn't take it any longer so she tried to broach the elephant in the room.
"About yesterday," Regina slowly started. "You did nothing wrong."
Emma looked over at her and held her gaze for a moment, seemingly with no forthcoming verbal response. A few seconds later, however, Emma finally spoke.
"If I did nothing wrong then why did you avoid me?"
"I… It's complicated."
"I told you to talk to me."
"I know," Regina sighed.
"I still want to be friends."
"I want—"
"Children. I know, but you didn't even ask me if there was another way we could create a family. If that is the only thing that is holding you back then you don't seem to have much faith in us being able to figure all of this out. Together."
Regina pleadingly looked at Emma and it wasn't how she should have looked at her. She should've made Emma mad, should have denied Emma's hope that they could start a family together, and it would have been easier in that moment than any other so far. And yet, she pleadingly looked at Emma anyway.
"I'm sorry," Regina said, and that time she meant it.
Emma pursed her lips in a pseudo smile then returned her attention to the training that would later lead to a supposedly thrilling sword fight.
Regina stared at Emma a little longer before she turned back to the training as well and felt as though they'd at least made some kind of amends. She didn't know what that meant for the long run, but for now she relaxed with the idea that Emma might be slightly less hurt than she was after their fall.