Disclaimer: I own nothing, damn it all. I don't own Naruto, belongs to Kishimoto-sensei.

Kyuubi

Thoughts

Chapter 19

Naruto walked into the room, it was dimly lit, only the sunlight from behind the curtains lighting any of the room stubbornly. He heart jumped to his throat as his eyes rested on Sasuke in the hospital bed. He had monitors hooked up to him, he was breathing on his own, thankfully. His internal organs had been cooked from the inside to top off the state of his hands. Both hands were wrapped up, his left with bandages to helped the muscle, skin, and bone heal faster and his right hand in a cast to allow the broken bones to heal. Naruto could tell from closing the door that Sasuke wasn't in a deep sleep and it left him to wonder if Sasuke would ever be able to sleep deeply like he'd done while wrapped in his arms at their shared apartment. Naruto didn't dare move any closer to the bed, he had to gather his courage, the sight of a very thin, very vulnerable Sasuke lying in the bed made him shake.

The hospital gown and white sheets made the pale man look even paler, and for an Uchiha it made him look like a ghost. Naruto couldn't help but think Sasuke didn't look anywhere near twenty years old lying in the hospital bed, he looked like a child all fragile and vulnerable, it was sickening. He sympathized with Iruka now, having seen Kakashi after the battle months ago.

Naruto took a few deep breaths and shoved down how shaken and heartbroken he felt with the finesse of a shinobi. He had to block out those emotions for now and try to be there for Sasuke. It wasn't going to be easy and from what Tsunade said it was going to hurt more than anything else in his life had. But he refused to give up, refused to let Sasuke die inside or outside. Naruto wasn't a quitter, and when it came to Sasuke he felt so much guilt for not being able to search for him sooner, for not finding him sooner.

He should have broken out of the damn jail, should have told everyone to shove it when they tried to stop him from going. He took another deep breath and shoved down those thoughts as well. Focus damn it, there will be another time to deal with them.

Sasuke had called for me, he had somehow managed to spike his chakra while being held captive by Madara. He had sensed me in the area and called out, it was practically a scream. A scream, I've heard him scream twice now, two times too many. He growled low in his throat, his thoughts wouldn't cease, but he couldn't get close to Sasuke with emotions whirling in his head.

Kyuubi growled in his mind, Kit, shut up and go to your bitch's side.

Naruto sighed, Fox, don't call him that. He has a name, stop being vulgar.

Kyuubi laughed, You are telling me to watch my tongue? You are standing here shaking, unable to be at his side, and you're worried about what I call your mate?

Naruto closed his eyes, Just don't call him that, mate is fine, but no vulgar titles to him.

Kit, he let you top him, and dominating someone as dominant as him, that was a treat, so bitch suits him. Move.

Naruto was forced to take a few steps by the fox and he set his feet on the ground and held still. Fine, don't push me. Humans have emotions you know. I need a damn moment.

The fox growled, I know humans have emotions, I've been stuck with you for two decades. Suck it up.

Naruto took a few more deep breaths, this time blocking out everything except for Sasuke. He walked over to his bedside and carefully sat down in the chair next to the bed. The heart monitor was going at a steady beat and Naruto noticed his blood pressure, and chakra flow were also being monitored. Sakura had been the one to create a monitor for chakra flow, via Neji's help. Leave it to her being the medic genius she is.

He looked at Sasuke's face, could see the crease in his brows now, he looked like he was having a nightmare. Naruto reached out to touch his forearm since both hands were bandaged. The fox growled in his mind again, Don't touch him kit. He's having a Sharingan nightmare, you'll just get pulled into it.

Naruto put his hands in his lap and inquired Kyuubi, A Sharingan nightmare, what the hell is that?

A curse his retched clan has, those with the Sharingan suffer from nightmares. Most can't tell the difference between the nightmare and reality, it made a few of them go insane. Your mate has been hiding it from you for quite a while, but he was never weak of mind and when he awoke he found a way to tell himself what was real and what wasn't. They also have to relive nightmares from their past, as though they are living the day all over again. With the nightmares those of his clan endure, the only difference between the dream and reality is that sometimes it shows you nightmares that have never occurred.

Naruto let out a ragged breath, So he's been suffering more than I'll ever know huh? Having to relive so many nightmares, and then nightmares that make your fears feel real, how in the hell does he handle that?

He's only had the Sharingan for eight years, but even so, he's not weak minded. He is very vulnerable right now, but if you stay at his side to confirm to him you are alive and well, then he will soon be able to get that resolve in his mind to not believe the nightmares as much.

The ones on his past, forcing him to relive the events over and over again, what can I do about that?

Kit, you can't do shit but be there for him when he awakens, he has to fight it off on his own. It's part of having his kekkei genkai.

Naruto took a deep breath and trained his eyes on Sasuke again, he noticed Sasuke's hand twitch and reached out again. This time his hand rested on Sasuke's forearm, the chill of Sasuke's skin was unnerving to say the least. Sasuke sat up suddenly, startling Naruto and his eyes locked with Naruto instantly. Sasuke's startled, frightened look relaxed when Naruto squeezed his arm lightly. Sasuke laid back down with a sigh, his voice was ragged and hoarse as he spoke.

It wasn't what Naruto expected from what Tsunade had said, but Sasuke was acknowledging him as though he knew him and that eased some of the twisting in his heart. He couldn't be sure if his touch or his eyes were what made Sasuke speak as though he was really there.

"Where am I?"

Naruto answered softly, "The hospital, Sasuke, how are you feeling?"

Sasuke scoffed, "Like shit, what do you think?"

Naruto smirked, "Well, uh . . . Baa-chan was saying you were having trouble remembering who you were and all . . . Umm . . . "

Sasuke cut him off, "Stop stuttering dobe, I know who everyone is."

Naruto let out a breath of relief, a smile gracing his lips, "So you know who I am and all that, then?"

Sasuke turned his head on the pillow and looked at Naruto, "Yeah, I know who you are Naruto. Next time that hag comes to examine me I'll remember to kill you if you aren't there."

Naruto laughed, "Yeah," he brought up his other hand to scratch the back of his neck nervously. "Sorry, she was really strict and all. You should stop giving them so much trouble you know."

Sasuke scoffed again, "They should stop trying to probe and pamper me. I'm not so helpless I can't manage on my own."

Naruto bristled, "You're hurt, he tortured you and your hands were almost permanently damaged. You have to let them help you Sasuke, stop being so damn stubborn and let everyone help you . . . "

Sasuke cut him off angrily, "Help me, damn it, I'm fucking twenty years old, I'm tired of everyone helping me. Pitying me and treating me like a damn child."

"Sasuke, you're far from a child and far from being helpless . . . "

Sasuke cut him off, his tone heated and angry, "Bullshit Naruto, I can't even stand on my own two feet right now. I can't feed myself because that bastard injured my hands. I can hardly stay awake long enough to do anything. It pisses me off," he cut himself off to bring his right hand up to cover his mouth as he coughed. The coughs sounded painful and his chest heaved violently, Naruto reached for the glass of water on the bedside table behind him.

Sasuke laid back, taking deep, shuddering breaths once he stopped coughing. He moved his left arm from Naruto's hold and wiped his mouth of blood that rose up in his throat with his forearm. Naruto had noticed the wincing from Sasuke when he moved his arms, the pain glazing his eyes with every breath and movement. It pained him to see Sasuke in so much pain and to be unable to do anything for him.

But as much as it hurt, he vowed to himself that he would not leave Sasuke's side again. He was going to stay by his side now that he had him back until it drove him insane. Naruto held the cup of water in his hand and Sasuke glared at him for a moment before he let Naruto raise the cup to help him take a drink. Once he swallowed the water a low sigh of relief passed through him and Naruto put the cup back on the bedside table.

Naruto sighed, "Sasuke, I can't say that you shouldn't feel the way you do, but if you let everyone help you then you will be back on your feet sooner."

Sasuke glared darkly at him, "So I should just sit here and fucking take it, just sit here and accept how damn helpless I am. I'm a goddamn ninja, what the fuck am I doing sitting here and not being able to fend for myself . . . like some weak, useless damn whelp . . ."

Naruto cut him off this time, anger in his voice, red flashing in his eyes, "Don't say shit like that teme. You're far from weak, you're the strongest person I know. Look at everything you've been through, others would have died, would have killed themselves if they had been through half the shit you've been through. You're not weak or useless and you sure as hell are not helpless. Sure, your hands are injured, but they're still there, they'll heal. You're hurt, but not dead so you can get the strength back in your legs and walk again. And when you get out of here, you can train again."

"Train again, why? So I can end up like this again, I couldn't even stop that bastard from what he did, I just fucking sat there and fucking took it."

Kyuubi growled low and snarled, He's lying kit, I can see it in his mind, he fought that Uchiha, caused him a lot of trouble and suffered because of it. We should have ripped that bastard into smaller pieces.

Naruto growled himself and Sasuke hung his head, his bangs curtaining his face, his hair was clean now, but past his shoulders. His anger quickly turned to grief and guilt as seeing just how thin and bony and so very frail Sasuke looked it made Naruto's stomach churn. But he wasn't going to let Sasuke lie to him, not after what Sasuke had been through, he wasn't going to pull away from him and lie to him after what they'd had before he'd been held captive. This was too big, it was too much and someone could only hold so much in before they snapped and he knew it in his gut that Sasuke couldn't, shouldn't, hold everything he had to be feeling and thinking in and act like it was all nothing.

Naruto got up and sat down on the bed, he grabbed Sasuke's chin and forced him to look at him. "Don't give me that shit Sasuke, I know you, there's no way you fucking sat there and took it, it isn't in you to do so. I saw the iron shackles on you, the chakra repressor, the state you're in right now, anyone other than a ninja would have died from starvation and whatever else that fucker put you through. He nearly shattered you're mind, nearly broke you in half, but you're alive. You are alive and you can get past this because you're strong."

Sasuke closed his eyes, he didn't want Naruto to see what his words meant to him, he didn't want to be so vulnerable around Naruto. They had been rivals for so long, always competing with one another. And to show the vulnerability to him would deter what Naruto said, he wasn't strong being vulnerable to the man he loved, no matter what he could never believe so.

Why does he think I'm so very fucking strong, how can he say that when I'm sitting here in a hospital bed? I can't use my hands, my legs feel like jelly and I shake so much when I try to stand up. I can't do more than thrash and throw something when I'm pissed and I have to be very pissed to accomplish that. I ever screamed at the end, screamed when he broke my fingers and when he forced me to relive all those damn nightmares.

Then there was the nightmares I had to tell myself over and over again were only nightmares, they weren't real. Nightmares where I was forced to watch Naruto and everyone else I never would admit I cared about from this village. If Naruto wasn't here, if I wasn't certain it was his touch then I would have lost my mind, would have ended up believing all those lies. Making me relive it all over again, that loneliness, that loss, over and over until it was engraved in my head.

But as much as those nightmares may come true and how much more it will hurt when the day comes, I owe Naruto, I can't make him suffer because of the mind games the sharigan plays with me. I can't pull away from him, distance myself from him, he doesn't deserve it. I don't deserve him, someone so strong, someone so good. He sincerely believes in me and I can't believe in myself, can't believe that he actually chose me when he could have anyone else.

Naruto was running his hands through Sasuke's hair, the Kyuubi allowing him to listen to Sasuke's thoughts, a trait Naruto was grateful for. It was because of Sasuke's sharigan that Kyuubi was able to read Sasuke's thoughts, the new ability was something Naruto would also have to be careful about. If Sasuke found out he could read his thoughts through the Kyuubi then Sasuke would kill him.

He had to reassure Sasuke, to make him believe he was good enough, that they both deserved each other. Naruto wouldn't tell himself he didn't deserve Sasuke, he admired his strength, admired who he was, but at the same time he would never think Sasuke wasn't good enough, sometimes he was too good for him.

He sighed and ran his thumb gently over Sasuke's faintly scarred cheek, a cut that went across his right cheekbone to the edge of his ear. Sasuke's usually unmarred skin was marked in numerous cuts, slashes, burns, the serious ones being healed by Sakura. Sasuke had been too stubborn to allow anyone to actually heal his wounds completely. All the scrapes would heal, but the scars from being stabbed, from having his skin sliced open or split open by what Naruto knew to be from a whip, it was maddening to see the proud Uchiha scarred and so very vulnerable.

"Sasuke, look at me." Sasuke looked up, his eyes hazed with his thoughts, he met Naruto's eyes. Naruto ran his thumb over the scar on his cheek gently, "No one else, no one other than you will ever be enough for me. So don't ever think you're weak, never think you're not good enough. If there is one thing I have come to notice about you, it's that you are compassionate, you have more heart than anyone I'll ever know. You defended nin's from Konoha and Suna for me, because you knew it would hurt me. Not only that, but you looked out for Sakura-chan and me during the war on top of everything else you were doing.'

'You did all that, not for acknowledgment, but because you cared how it would effect me if they died. If never mattered to you if I knew them or not, never mattered that what you were doing was more dangerous than fighting on the battlefield out right. You sought out the scrolls of some of the deadliest ninja, and with one still alive and looking for you. You took in the shock of the truth about your family, the truth of our village and you came back, because of me, for me.

'Not only that, but you made a difference in a young girls life, you helped her have hope in herself, gave another a reason to live, a reason to cherish another's life. You changed peoples lives, you, who was always portraying to be this cold, heartless bastard, showed more heart than a lot of people I know."

Sasuke made to say something, but Naruto ran his thumb across his bottom lip silencing him. Naruto continued in a whisper as he leaned in so close Sasuke could smell the spicy scent of Naruto's breath, the ramen he'd eaten hours ago.

"You are one hell of a ninja, and you saved countless lives, not for your own fulfillment, but for someone else's. You sought out power at first, and you may have left for all the wrong reasons, but in the end you made amends for that and made the right decision. You even granted me the gift of having you, of loving you and remaining at your side ever after I failed you over and over again."

Sasuke swallowed, Naruto was so close, it was hard to breath, but he managed to whisper back; "You obviously never failed me dobe, if you had I wouldn't be here today baka."

Naruto smirked and Sasuke's eyes closed as Naruto's hand moved to cup the back of his head, tilting his head just enough for Naruto to press his lips to Sasuke's. Though their lips were chapped, though it wasn't a heated kiss, it filled Sasuke with a warmth he hadn't realized he yearned for until he felt it. This, this was why he fought so much to stay alive. Just kissing Naruto, having those lips on his own reminded him that nothing was too much for him to bare as long as he could have this moment.

Naruto pulled back, though reluctantly and Sasuke's eyes opened to gaze into those blue eyes, the emotion there reflected how he felt. He would never leave Naruto, never break his heart again, and he couldn't bare the thought of ever being without him. He could shove all his nightmares away with those eyes looking at him like that.

Naruto smirked and said in a teasing tone, "One kiss and you already look like your going to faint like some school girl."

Sasuke glared half heartedly at Naruto and his lips almost curled into a smile. He instead said, "Dobe."

Naruto laughed and then he leaned forward, his moist breath ghosting over Sasuke's ear and making his shudder, "Yeah, but I'm your dobe, teme."

Sasuke scoffed and Naruto pulled back fully and moved to the chair again. Sasuke immediately missed the warmth of having him so close. He looked at Naruto, finally seeing the bags under his eyes, that he'd lost some weight and wondered over it.

"Oi, dobe, what have you been doing all this time anyway? You look like hell."

Naruto sighed and looked at Sasuke sharply, "I look ten times better than you do. I'm going to be feeding you at least five bowls of ramen a day, you've got a lot of weight to gain and you're going to be getting some real rest too."

Sasuke glared at him, "What the hell makes you think I'm going to do anything just because you say so?"

Naruto grinned, "Because teme, I will tie your scrawny ass to the chair or the bed, whatever it takes. Don't temp me, I've done it before."

Sasuke huffed, "I'm injured, don't you think you should be a little gentler to a injured man?"

Naruto nodded and rose from his chair to lean towards Sasuke, "Don't worry, I'll be plenty gentle with you teme, but your tender self won't be able to fight all that much with me anyway."

Sasuke couldn't look away with those eyes locked onto his, a mischievous glint in those way too blue eyes. His presence alone always caught him off guard, but there was no way he was backing down, "Try it dobe, I'll beat the hell out of you."

Naruto grinned even wider and leaned closer making Sasuke lean back, but Naruto just stayed close, whispering huskily in his ear, "You and I both know you can't resist my charm Sasuke."

Sasuke huffed, he really couldn't say anything to that. He glared at Naruto for changing the subject and asked again, "What have you been doing all this time baka?"

Naruto sighed, "It's a long story and you need to sleep."

Sasuke kept his gaze on Naruto, "Dobe, I'm not going to sleep until you tell me."

Naruto smirked, "Well, guess we just have to wait and see which one of us can hold out longer."

Sasuke scoffed, "Fine, don't tell me, but I will find out eventually."

Naruto grinned, "Yeah, you probably will Uchiha."

Sasuke glared at him again, "Uzumaki, don't call me that."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at him, "Sasuke?"

Sasuke shook his head, "Just don't, I won't tell you why until you tell me what you've been up to all this time."

Naruto pouted, "Aw, teme, that's blackmail."

Sasuke smirked, "You started it."

Naruto sighed but resigned to drop the subject, he knew Sasuke was tired and he was tired himself.

Sasuke sighed and laid back on the bed, closing his eyes. He heard Naruto sit back in the chair and felt the familiar warmth on his arm, it reassured him that Naruto was there. The small touch, his scent, the feeling of Kyuubi's chakra all reassured Sasuke that Naruto was really there, that it wasn't another illusion or Madara impersonating Naruto. It also gave him a small moment of peace, being in his pressence, now he just hoped that the nightmares wouldn't try to shatter what peace he did have. He found himself falling into a deep sleep this time, but no nightmares hendered his sleep as he slept with that warm hand resting on his forearm.