The theatre doors open and several friendly faces are welcoming me in. Kate has gone to put on some scrubs, cap and mask. The amount of people in the room is overwhelming; I know Grace warned me that I would have a team for each baby, one for myself and the anaesthetist but the room is heaving.
Dr Roberts comes in but I don't recognise her for a moment as she has got scrubs, hat and mask on ready.
"Ok Ana?" she asks I shrug my shoulders; my mind is whirling with everything I saw, I heard and the here and now. I can't stop myself and burst into tears again.
"Why is this happening?" I wail, Kate come into the room at that moment and sits next to me.
"Ana, honey, you have to stay calm, I was a little longer getting ready as I checked in with Elliot and everyone is stable at the moment, no one is giving cause for concern except you" she reassures and then scolds me.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I cry, blinking to try and stop another tear from rolling down my face.
"We need to focus on these babies, yours and Christian's babies; you need to be ready for him when he wakes up" she tells me "Take a deep breath and then listen to what Dr Roberts is telling you to do"
I let a last sob out before inhaling deeply, closing my eyes, exhaling then opening my eyes and looking toward Dr Roberts.
"Sorry, ok I'm ok"
"Ana, baby one on the left is engaged, baby two is waiting in the breech position but can turn once the other is delivered. Occasionally however they don't turn and we will have to make a decision but let's get things underway" she says "Your contractions are strong but irregular so we need to speed things up with some Pitocin"
"So you are inducing me then?" I ask
"Yes Ana, we can't wait for your body to react, if it reacts. Ok?" I nod and she injects the solution into the drip line.
I am surprised at how quickly it starts to take effect, I feel strong regular contractions begin and thus pain comes with them. After about two hours of contractions gaining rate and strength, I finally give in.
"Owwwwwwwww, I need something" I yell "I can't do this anymore"
"You are doing perfectly Ana" Kate soothes me.
"I am probaaaaaaaaggghhh" I puff and blow the contraction away "probably scaring you right now aren't I?" I manage a chuckle.
"Err no it's fine Ana, just glad I can help you" but I can hear the fear in her voice.
"Painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, I want something!" I scream and even Kate looks startled.
"I'll go and find someone" She scuttles off out of the room and returns with Dr Roberts.
"Ok, let's see how you are doing?" she says "Great Ana you are 7cm, not long to go. Gas and air?" she offers a mouth piece and I grab it and suck hard as the next contraction hits. After a few breaths I feel a little better and manage to ask the doctor a few questions.
"What will you do if the baby doesn't turn?" I am dreading the answer as I think I already know it.
"We can sometimes deliver breech but normally a C-section is required but let's not get ahead of ourselves, just focus on the now" I nod as I continue breathing in the gas and air.
"Kate, as soon as things start happening here, will you see how Christian is and if Grace can come again?" I plead
"Of course, you just concentrate on you" she pats the top of my hand.
"Knock Knock" a voice calls through a crack in the door.
"Come innnnnnnnnnnaarrgghhhh" I try and say. Elliot peeks around the door looking petrified and I would have laughed if I wasn't in the middle of a full blown contraction.
"Hey, just seeing if you are both ok" he says gingerly. The look on Kate's face tells the story.
"Any newwwwwsssss?" I grimace but Elliot shakes his head, I notice a 'look' pass between Kate and Elliot but don't have a chance to say anything before I feel the need to push.
Dr Roberts rushes over to examine me, tells me I am ready to deliver and it's all stations go with the staff around me.
"Ok Ana, with the next contraction I want you to push, push hard into your bottom" she encourages.
The next contraction builds and I push with all my strength to much encouragement from the staff and Kate beside me. This process is repeated and repeated for what seems like forever until the doctor tells me the head has been delivered.
"That's a lot of dark hair" she remarks "ok a gentle push for the shoulders Ana"
With that I feel a rush, hear some muttering before the very sweet sweet sound of our baby crying.
"Congratulations Ana" the doctor says as she is cutting the cord.
"Oh Ana!" Kate whispers.
"We are just having…err have you decided on a name yet?" the paediatrician asks.
"Yes, this is Melissa" I tell them with the hugest smile on my face.
"We need to take Melissa to the Nicu, she is ok but struggling a little with her breathing but were ok" says Dr Roberts.
I nod, fortunately at that moment Grace comes in to the room, she smiles at me but moves over to see Melissa, she is in discussion for a while and oversees her first few minutes of life before she is transported in an incubator out of the room.
"Beautiful Ana, perfect and beautiful. She is nice and pink with a good Apgar score so this is just precautionary because she is premature. Well done" she kisses my cheek and heads off again.
"Ana, she is beautiful" Kate extolls and I can't stop smiling.
"Right Ana, we need to concentrate on baby two, I am going to feel your abdomen to see what situation we have" I feel her hands prodding and poking around. I squeeze Kate's hand a little tighter.
"So we are still breech, I am going to try and turn into the right position, it may be uncomfortable so just tell me if it's too much. I nod and take a deep breath of gas and air. Oh my goodness, that is a very strange sensation, tugging, twisting and pushing.
"Ok not going to work I'm afraid, I need your permission to perform a C-section" she tells me.
"Is there no other way?" I ask with some desperation creeping in.
"I don't want to risk a breech delivery Ana, too much stress on the baby already, I'm sorry I know it's not ideal" she says "I will get the paperwork while you are being prepped"
"Kate, I didn't want this" tears are threatening again.
"I know honey but it's what's best for you both" she reassures.
"I want Christian here" a tear escapes.
"He wanted to be here too and he would be if he could, he will be so proud of you and totally besotted with his daughter" Kate placates me.
The doctor returns with a consent form which I read through, I smile when I think of Christian telling me never to sign anything without legal looking first. Sadly not an option at the moment so I sign to accept the procedure and risks involved. The anaesthetist comes to administer an epidural; I am again amazed at how quickly it works as before long I can't feel anything in my legs.
"I need to put a catheter in your bladder, when that's done we are nearly ready to go" she informs me.
A couple of minutes later the surgical drapes are being put over me and the doctor is checking everyone is good to start.
I don't feel anything until she is ready to deliver the baby, when it feels like someone is washing up in my stomach, more pulling and tugging and finally a cry.
Kate claps her hands together in delight.
"Congratulations again Ana and this is?" Doctor Roberts asks
"Maxwell, Max for short" I smile as the paediatrician shows him briefly to me before whisking him away to join his sister in the Nicu.
"Lovely, let's get you sorted Ana and you can go for a well-earned rest" and that sounds good I think to myself.
I tell Kate to go stretch her legs, check on everyone and tell them the good news whilst I am being stitched up. She gets up a little stiffly; I glance over at the clock and see she has been sitting with me in total for nearly 7 hours.
"Thank you Kate, I couldn't have done it without you"
"You are most welcome honey" she says "will be back soon"
I think I actually fall asleep while they finish as I wake up in a private room, I look around slightly confused for a moment but I see a figure asleep in a chair in the corner covered with a hospital blanket.
"Dad?" I focus a little better "Is that you Dad?" he jumps awake and rushes to my side.
"Oh sweetheart" that's all it takes for me to break down crying again. He just holds me, rocking me gently and telling me how proud he is of me for a long time. I cry myself out, I can't produce anymore tears. When I compose myself I see Dad has some photos of the twins.
"They are beautiful Ana" he says as he looks at the pictures again.
"Are they still ok Dad? I haven't seen them since they were born" I feel tense.
"They are doing great Ana, just having a little oxygen, heat and TLC. They said you can see them as soon as you are up to going over" he tells me.
"I am ready" I say keenly trying to swing my legs out of the bed before remembering the epidural hasn't worn off yet "Damn" I curse.
"In good time sweetie, you need to rest, get your strength back and I will wheel you over"
"Ok Dad, How's Christian?" I feel guilty for not asking sooner but for a split second I had forgotten the horror of this morning.
"He is still critical at the moment; he had a cardiac arrest in ICU but is ok" he has said it quietly "Grace said she will come and talk to you as soon as possible"
I slump back on the pillows and put my head in my hands "Who would do this Daddy?" I ask but not expecting an answer.
The nurse comes in at that moment to do my obs, check my wound and offers me something to eat. I decline but both she and my Dad scowl at me so I accept a sandwich and a cup of tea. She asks if I am planning to breast feed, if I am I need to start expressing soon so that Max and Melissa can start with the best. A midwife will be along shortly to help start me off.
A knock at the door brings Grace, Mia, Carrick and Elliot in to the room. Congratulations, kisses and hugs follow. Grace tells me they are doing fine.
"I don't even know how much they weigh or how long they are" I comment and Elliot pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and looking like the proud uncle he is, reads….
"In the pink corner we have Melissa aka Missy weighing in at 4lb 8oz and measuring 46cm" we all chuckle and he continues
"In the blue corner we have Maxwell aka Max weighing in at 4lb 6oz and measuring 47cm"
I love the way Elliot can even in the dark times still bring a little light.
"Are they having any other names?" Mia asks.
"Yes they will but they are still to be decided" I tell her smiling but then have to stifle a yawn.
"Ok everyone, Mommy needs to sleep and I still need to talk to Ana" Grace commands but in a very kind way.
Elliot, Mia and Carrick say goodbye first and leave the room. Dad comes over, gives me a hug and a kiss before telling me he was going to stretch his legs and have something to drink.
"But you are not going are you Dad?" I sound a little desperate.
"No sweetie, I am here for as long as you need me" he shut's the door on his way out.
A/N: This will be last update before XMAS. I would love to wish all my reader a very Merry Christmas and god bless. Hopefully next update will be posted on Friday 27th.