There is a time and a place however to pose that sort of question to Christian. He is so security conscious any candidate is going to be put through the wringer and any hint of trouble in their past will be found, assessed and then questions will follow. I actually feel sorry for anyone that has an interview with Christian, whether it's business or personal.
As Christian is still sleeping I go into the nursery to see my babies, Max is awake and as soon as he hears my voice his legs jiggle up and down with excitement. Well I tell myself it's that, it might be the wind! I chuckle. I settle into the rocking chair to feed him but find nothing there for him, he fusses and I burst into tears.
Grace comes in "Ana sweetie, can I help with anything?" I am puzzled as to how she knew I was here until I see the baby monitor in her hand. She puts it back on its cradle to charge before coming over and sitting in the second rocking chair.
"No milk?" she asks and I nod "Ana, it's really ok, please don't be upset with yourself, it's a common problem but coupled with the events of the last few weeks I was expecting this to happen"
"I should be able to though Grace, that's part of being a Mom" I sob.
"They have had the best from you. Happy Mommy, Happy babies, Formula foods are so much more advanced these days Ana that they will not lack anything nutrient wise and there is no evidence to show that formula fed babies are any better or worse than breast fed babies. Remember Ana that they will sense your stress and worry and that is not good for anyone"
I know she is right but I can't shake the disappointed feeling I have.
A knock at the door makes me dry my face; Christian is standing outside in the t-shirt I had been keeping close while he was in hospital and a pair of Jockey Shorts that show every contour! I see Grace raise her eyebrow a fraction.
"Hello Christian, how are you feeling? You certainly look more colourful than the last time I saw you" she smiles.
"I have come to see what my favourite ladies are doing but I think I have interrupted something" He says looking at me.
"No no not at all, we were just having a little chat about something's but come sit here and talk to your wife" Grace indicates toward the rocking chair.
Grace smiles and leaves the room, I am still sat there with Max in my arms, and he is drifting asleep so I keep my voice down.
"Christian, reluctantly I am going to stop breast feeding, I am not producing enough and it is getting me down so I want to go over to bottle" a tear escapes from my eye, rolls down my cheek and splashes onto Max's sleep suit.
"Hey baby, it's ok, I understand. Mom talked to me about it as she was worried about you. The twins need a happy Mom and I don't see that at the moment which I know is partly my fault" his eyes cast downwards, he looks lost.
"I also wanted to ask you about getting some extra help with the twins while you are recuperating but I am not sure how you will feel about that?" I gingerly ask.
"Hmm well you know what I am like about outsiders having access to my private life but at the same time I know you are under a lot of pressure…."
"That's why I was thinking of asking Gail to be the 'nanny' and finding someone else to take over the household duties" I chip in.
"From the children's perspective I think Gail would be perfect but talk to her first before we make any further decisions" he comments.
"Ok I will talk to her but now I must go make some bottles, can you hold Max for me?" I await his reply before laying a sleeping baby in his arms.
I turn to walk out of the room…
"Ana" his voice is soft and emotional "You are so beautiful and I love you very much"
"I love you too Christian, always and forever" I blow a kiss to him before going to the kitchen.
I analyse my conversation with Christian whilst drinking my tea, he didn't completely dismiss my thoughts and I personally would feel so much happier if Gail would help me with the twins and allow someone else to take over the household duties.
The phone interrupts my surmising "Hello"
"Hi Ana"
"Kate, how are you honey?"
"Large and uncomfortable, I am hoping to cut back on work from next week, my ankles are blowing up and down like a balloon and my last blood pressure test was high so my OB/GYN has told me to take it easier from now on" she tells me.
"Good idea Kate, get those feet up as often as you can, listen, are you and Elliot about later? I know Christian wants to speak to Elliot about what's been happening at GEH over the last few weeks and I thought we could take the opportunity to catch up and have a glass…oh no can't do that" we giggle together.
"Not yet but maybe the odd glass in a few weeks when sprout shows up" we chuckle again.
"What about food? Any requests?" I ask her.
"Anything is fine but I am having a yearning for toffee pecan ice cream though" she laughs.
"How many tubs have you gone through in the last week Kate?"
"Oh well not many, well maybe 3, I think" we laugh.
"No problem will get some in for you"
"What time shall we come over Ana?"
"Whenever you are ready"
"Great, see you later then. Bye"
Gail walks into the kitchen "Can I get you anything Ana?"
"I was just talking on the phone to Kate, she and Elliot are coming over later, I just need to get some toffee pecan ice cream"
"Ah pregnancy cravings" she smiles, "Taylor is out and about on some errands, I will call and make sure he picks some up"
"Thanks Gail and can I ask you something? I don't need an answer straight away but Christian and I were wondering if you would like to be Max and Melissa's nanny? We would look to hire a housekeeper"
"I don't know what to say Ana, I would love to but I must talk to Jason first. When do you need to know by?" Gail has a happy look on her face.
"Whenever Gail, no immediate rush" I tell her. Gail leaves the kitchen with a huge grin on her face.
I walk back to the bedroom and tell Christian that Elliot and Kate are coming over in a little while, he decides he wants to shower, I go ahead to make sure the non-slip mats are in place, his shower gel and towel are easily to hand.
"Are you going to join me Ana?" oh boy I haven't seen that carnal look for a while.
"I would love to but the twins bottles will be ready by now but I will be back in time to help you out" I feel disappointed not that we can get up to anything but I have missed his touch, the way he runs his fingers up and down the middle of my back making me arch with desire. The feel of his lips kissing the nape of my neck whilst cupping my breasts and tweaking my nipples before one hand slides down across my stomach and gently probes my hot folds.
"Ok baby, never mind" he walks into the shower and I walk out of the bedroom.
I open the door to the nursery to find Grace feeding Max and Carrick with Melissa.
"We have them under control" Carrick chuckles seeing my surprise.
"Sorry you startled me for a moment" I say.
"Go back to Christian Ana, we are happy to pitch in and help" Carrick cheerfully says and I don't think I could prise Melissa from his arms anyway.
"Thank you" I walk out and return to the bedroom. I strip off my clothes and go into the bathroom, open the shower door much to Christians delight.
"That was quick" he says "not that I am complaining. Come here baby, I want you next to me"
I respond immediately wrapping my arms around his waist but he winces and I pull back "No no its ok baby, don't pull away"
"I am afraid of hurting you" I say
"I need to feel you, skin to skin, I need to kiss you, I want to look at you, smell you and take everything in that I have missed so much" he plants his lips on mine, its passionate but needy, desperate but tender and just as I remember.
The water cascades down our bodies washing away some of the tension and stress of the past few weeks. I can feel his erection pushing into my thigh, I take it in my hand and begin stroking, teasing the tip and making Christian groan.
"Oh Ana you have no idea how great that feels oooohhhhhh yes baby"
I kneel down in front of him and take his hardened length into my mouth, flicking my tongue around and over the tip, gently feeling his balls and letting my hand drift over his happy trail. I keep the intensity going and before I know it he grasps the side of my head and shoots into my mouth.
He is panting and totally spent. I didn't mean to wear him out, he helps me stand and then embraces me tightly, and no words need to be spoken between us. We get out of the shower and get ready to see Elliot and Kate. It is fortuitous that Carrick is here to fill in the gaps with what he has done with GEH.
As we exit the bedroom, Carrick and Grace bring the twins out. Christian's face lights up when he sees them.
"Hello my little ones, sorry Daddy can't be with you much at the moment but this will change soon enough" he says and I feel a little choked up by those words.
"Well this is as good a time as any to spend a few moments with them Christian, come this way" Grace indicates.
We all walk into the lounge "Sit here Christian" Grace points towards the sofa "You should be comfortable" and she lays Melissa in his arms.
He is looking intently at her for quite a while "She has changed so much in such a short time" he looks at her fingers "so tiny"
He continues to whisper things to her that I can't hear but the look on his face and the way she responds to his face is just priceless.
"Where is my son?" Christian looks at Carrick "Put him this side Dad please"
Carrick duly does as he asks and Christian is holding both of his children together for the first time. I can feel myself getting choked up looking at him doting on his children and a tear falls down my face. Grace puts her arm through mine and I can see she is welling up too.
Grace turns and whispers "I never thought I would see Christian as a father but even though he will have times when he will struggle I know with your guidance he will be fine"
I hug Grace and thank her for everything that she has done and is doing as I know I probably would be a complete basket case by now.
The door-bell chimes announcing Kate and Elliot's arrival. Carrick opens the door and greets his son and future daughter in law with a huge smile and embrace. Carrick doesn't give much away but his expression tells the whole story, with the exception of Mia, he has his wife, son's, daughter in law and future daughter in law and his two grandchildren in the room at the same time, the pride and contentment is evident. Right now life is great.
A/N: Regular service resumes. Thanks for your support.