Kleenex Warning!
I walk around in a little bit of a daze for a few hours afterwards just relishing in the afterglow. I think it is the first time in a very long time I feel kind of normal, the horrors of the recent past are beginning to fade and we can resume our lives with the twins.
I have even been contemplating going back to work for a couple of days a week but have yet to talk to Christian or Gail about the prospect and right now I don't want to rock the boat.
Gail is absolutely in her element with Max and Melissa, she has taken them out with Taylor and has been uninterrupted by anyone. I am guessing they look like grandparents taking the children out for a walk to give the parents a break. I chuckle at the thought.
Niamh has been quiet but seemingly efficient, no negative reports from Taylor or Gail so I relax a little there too.
I keep in touch with Grace and Carrick, phoning nearly every day to check on Gramps, I know Grace would call if anything changed but I have to let them know that whilst I can't do a lot for them, I am always on the end of the phone with a friendly supportive ear to listen.
Christian has been approved to start work again and I am glad in some respects as he was driving himself and me completely nuts not being able to go into the office however he is under much closer scrutiny than before but I think he learned his lesson after being hospitalised last time, that he has to listen to his body and stop to rest when it is telling him to.
Taylor is under strict instructions from Christian himself that he is to leave work no later than 2pm, the relevant secretaries and departments have been told that under no circumstances are any meetings or calls to be scheduled after this time. Christian started to grumble about all the fuss being un-necessary until I remind him that Grace has enough to deal with without needing to visit her son in hospital again because he over did things and he quietens down a little.
The sense of normality continues for a couple weeks however I get a gut feeling that things are about to change, I don't know what or when but something is going to happen. I try and shake the feeling and put the thought to the back of my mind.
Its Wednesday I have arrived for an appointment to have my hair coloured and cut at my favourite salon. I have neglected my hair since everything happened so I decide to treat myself. My usual hairdresser Lorna is washing my hair; I take a deep breath and relax. I love the sensation of my head and hair being gently massaged, she asks me about the twins and I, like the proud Mom spend ages telling her about their latest achievements in gurgling noises, movements and reactions, when my phone rings. I apologize that I have to answer it…
"Hello Christian, this is an unexpected surprise" I can hear road noise in the background "are you on your way home already?" I ask knowing it is only 11.30am.
"Hi baby, no I am not going home" he goes quiet.
My heart starts to race "What's the matter?" I ask.
"Mom called, Gramps…worse…much worse" his voice breaks at the end.
"Oh honey I'm sorry, what can I do?" I ask in desperation while trying to stop my own tears from falling yet.
"I couldn't wait for you…I'm sorry… Mom said time is of the essence"
"It's ok, I understand but I can follow you down once I have the babies sorted" I suggest.
"Would you?" he says quietly "I don't want to be alone"
"Of course I will, I'll leave as soon as possible, ok?" I prompt.
"Ok baby, love you"
"Love you too" I say back, hang up and the tears come.
I apologise to Lorna for not being able to complete my hair but she quickly blow dries it for me and I hastily head back to Escala.
"Gail, Gail?" I call urgently as I enter the apartment.
"Ana, everything alright?" she asks with concern in her voice.
"I have to go to Grace and Carrick's now, Gramps…well…" I let out a sob again
"Oh Ana, go, I will look after things here, don't worry about the twins. Pack an overnight bag for you both and Sawyer can drive you. That will leave Peters and the other security guy whose name escapes me right now, to look after things here" Gail soothes.
I head to the bedroom but grab a sports bag from the cupboard first. I jump a mile high when, on entering the bedroom, Niamh is in there putting clothes away.
"Sorry Mrs Grey, I didn't mean to startle you" she looks sheepish.
"It's ok, I wasn't expecting you to be here" I say.
"I have finished now" and she leaves the room.
I grab some underwear; and a set of clean clothes for us both, wash bag, hair brush and pyjamas. I allow myself a smile when I think about wearing pyjamas as here we both sleep in the nude.
I hug and kiss my children, I feel guilt at leaving them but I have to support Christian and his family at this time. Sawyer is waiting in the foyer; he takes the bag and puts it in the trunk before starting the journey. I sit in the back just daydreaming really, thinking about Gramps and Nanna, Grace and Carrick, the whole family.
"We're here Mrs Grey" Sawyers voice breaks my thoughts and I see we have pulled up outside.
Sawyer opens the car door for me before getting the bag out of the trunk and giving it to the housekeeper. Mia is the first to come out, she is pleased to see me but her usual verve is very subdued. Carrick is next with Christian behind.
"Hello Ana, thanks for coming" Carrick hugs me.
"Hey baby" Christian throws his arms around me.
"Come in, come in" Graces voice emanates from the doorway, I turn and hug Grace but I can see she is tired and has been crying. I can't think of anything to say right at this moment then Grace beats me to it…
"Gramps perked up a little when he heard you were coming Ana and he wants to see you" Grace tells me.
"Me?" Grace nods "Ok, where is he? Can I see him now unless he has other visitors of course?"
"He is in the library dear" Grace points to the door.
I steel myself internally for what is going to be a difficult few moments and I take a breath before knocking on the door.
"Come in" his voice calls me.
"Hello Gramps" I smile, taking a seat next to his bed that has been put in the library so he doesn't have to tackle stairs or go far to the bathroom.
He grabs my hand "Ana dear, thank you for coming, you are a sight for these old eyes" he smiles and it's enough to start my tears, despite my attempts to stop them, a tear rolls down my cheek.
"Don't cry Ana, not for me, I am old, I have had a good life and now my time has come but I wanted to say a few things to you in person if that's alright?"
I nod in agreement and he continues
"I want to thank you for coming into Christians life, he is a challenging soul but I spent an awful lot of time with him as a child and young adult, trying to steer him in the right direction and for the most part we succeeded but it wasn't until he met you that I noticed a huge change in him, an inner peace, fulfilment and contentment. You made his dreams come true with Max and Melissa and I am so glad to have seen them too. I know they won't remember me but be sure to tell them about their Great Gramps. Look after Christian for me, be patient with him but never stop loving him my dear"
"I won't, I promise" the tears leaking out faster.
"One other promise Ana dear" he says getting breathless "Visit Nanna as often as you can with the twins"
"Of course we will, I promise that too" I lean over the bed to give him a hug and kiss before telling him I will see him tomorrow. In my heart of hearts I know he will not be here tomorrow.
Outside of the library Christian is waiting for me, seeing my tears he rushes over and envelopes me in his arms, I scold myself as I should be the one comforting him right now.
Christian goes back into the library and the housekeeper has left a tray of tea and biscuits but it remains untouched.
Mia comes in, links her arm through mine and suggests some fresh air which I am most grateful for.
"Are you ok Mia?" I feel guilty for not asking her sooner.
"I'm ok Ana, I have spent a lot of time with Gramps recently, he is a very wise man and talks with such passion about things. I love him to bits" she starts to cry.
I turn and hug her tightly "He is a wonderful man" and I have to stop there otherwise I will cry again. Back at the house, Elliot has arrived and he and Christian are talking with Gramps, it fills my heart to hear some laughter coming from the library.
Kate has come, she looks a little lost, not knowing what to say or do.
"Elliot is so upset Ana, it's the first time I have seen him cry" she tells me.
"It's good for him to release some emotions Kate, he mustn't bottle it all up" I reassure her and Kate nods.
"I feel so helpless, is there anything I can do?" she asks me.
"I don't think so; just being here is very much appreciated"
Nanna has arrived so Christian and Elliot leave them alone together, the saddest part is I don't think she understands how poorly he is.
The four of us go and sit outside on the patio area, Grace insists we drink and eat a little so we all sip our tea and nibble half-heartedly at some sandwiches.
Grace and Carrick join us for a while but the conversation feels very awkward, every topic seems irrelevant and totally inappropriate for the time so we end up talking about the children and how they are doing. Elliot fills us in on his latest project he has started on and Christian says he is pleased to be working, albeit shorter hours.
Nanna comes out and joins us as Gramps is taking a nap; Grace goes to check on him.
The evening seems to drag, the television is on but it's really just a noise distraction and finally Kate, Elliot, Christian and I head for bed. Christian checks with Grace if there is anything else we can do this evening but she shakes her head and whispers something in his ear.
Christian signals for Elliot to follow and they go into the library once more. They re-appear visibly upset but neither speak, they just walk heavy hearted up the stairs.
In the bedroom I want to talk to Christian but he doesn't want to communicate right now so we just lay together, entwined, waiting for sleep to come.
I don't know what time it is when a knock at the door comes, Christian puts the bedside light on and Grace is standing at the door; she simply mouths "He's gone" before leaving the room.
Christian dissolves into tears but hastily puts clothes on and follows his Mom. I let him go alone as I think he needs to be with his family right now and my tears fall freely once again…
This chapter cuts a bit close to home and I was in floods of tears as I wrote it. I lost my grandad a few years ago.