A/N: For some reason this was a tough chapter to write. So While I'm sorry it was delayed, I'm glad that we slogged through it.

A couple of things I want to make clear-

Besides JK Rowling owns all of this- (yeah we know). But some thoughts about the characters below.

Rowling intentionally names many of her characters based on her thoughts as to their attributes. The easiest of course being Remus Lupin- really! Remus and Romulus raised by wolves with a last name of Lupin- which means wolf. So Wolf boy Wolf- ahh but most or everyone knows all of this.

And of Course Snape = snipe

Dumbledore in my mind always = Bumble bore

And don't forget about Delores Umbridge = D. Umbridge = dumb b_tch and also umbrage.

Finally and the point of all of this - Ronald Bilious Weasley - Ronald Bile filled Weasley

And Percy Weasley- is a bit prissy.

So- Ron will be salvaged- not this story (I don't think) probably the next. But Percy- I don't know where that's going - The tale is kind of driving that.

Once again thanks to sfjoellen for "slice on ice" suggestion. We appreciate your submissions. It is a good barometer on how we're doing.

Thank you all for reading - as always your comments are appreciated and unless you write as a guest - will be answered.

The omake at the end of the chapter has nothing at all to do with the story just a bit o' fluff.

Happy New Year Everyone!

b.

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Remus, Sirius, and a black haired Tonks were brought to the manor by Winky. Harry had added all of them, (Tonks at Remus' request).
Tracy, who knew her least, caught on first. "What's the matter? You don't have any color on your hair."

Harry saw that it was true, her hair and nails had no color on them, and her face was a bit fuller.

"I've been sacked!" Which started her crying, apparently not for the first time. Remus pulled her in for a hug as she buried her face in his chest.

Sirius explained, he was angry also, "Snape escaped. Tonks was the only non-pureblood working, so she was the one to pay."

"Was it her fault?" 'Mione asked.

Tonks shook her head as Sirius answered and stirred sugar into his tea. "No. In fact, eight prisoners escaped and she recaptured six of them. But since someone had to accept responsibility they let her go."

She took her face from Remus' chest. "It was my responsibility. I was in charge. The senior Auror on duty had been called out on a call and left me there."

She spoke most of this to Remus' chest, every once in a while turning her head around briefly making eye contact before once more hiding. "I had just inspected the cells and then went to the loo. All of a sudden 6 of the prisoners came in trying to whisper but making more noise than a gaggle of teenagers."

The storytelling may have been cathartic because she relaxed and sat back on the couch. "I was able to stun four of them before they even knew I was there and the other two didn't make it out the door. Anyway, they said that since the two high value prisoners had escaped I was at fault. It was either turn in my badge or risk being tried by the Wizengamot."

Remus tried to make things better, but it had the opposite effect. "Maybe we can get Dumbledore to appeal that or offer you a position at Hogwarts."

Harry immediately blew up. "Remus, for the last time, Dumbledore is not our friend. He uses people, they are nothing but pieces on a chessboard to him!"

He had heard it before, but a lifetime of beholding to a man was difficult to change. "He allowed me to go to school when no one else would."

Harry continued, "You were a convenient tool. Do you think you were the only magical child to ever get bit? Why didn't he offer them scholarships? I'll answer the question for you. It's because he is a genius at long range planning. He knew that he could mold you into a tool and introduce you to my father. Don't believe me?"

Then why wouldn't he let you know where I lived, or once you found out, let you see me?"

The argument had been presented before, it was hard to overcome conditioning though. He met Harry's eyes. "I already gave you my word that I would not tell him anything about you. I won't go back on it, but I still think he is better than you say."

"You were one of my parent's best friends. Your word is good, at some point though you will have to make a decision."

"Remus, he left me in jail for over a decade. He knew, and all of his obfuscations and half-truths cannot answer that. He knew Harry was abused too."

"I don't have to work there. There are other jobs available. But I did already see if there was another position open in the ministry." Her hair once more turned a dull lifeless brown as the second memory depressed her again. "He said... I saw Percy Weasley there, he said, that I was a failure as an Auror, how could I ever hope to be competent at a real job."

"That arrogant little twit," Sirius was angry for her favorite cousin. "We'll find some way to prank him, Dory. Let's bide our time."

Neville jumped in, "No one here said don't work at Hogwarts if he, Dumbledore, offers you a position. What we are saying is don't trust him. How's your occulmency?"

She smiled for the first time and her hair turned purple for a moment, "I'm a Black. You start to learn occulmency before your first teeth come in. No one peeks in my head unless I want them to."

"Monday."

"What Monday?" The one word statement was confusing.

"Good idea. What Daphne was saying is we are having a meeting in our room Monday. We're going to have a lot of people and there, including at one point or another the deputy headmistress. That would be a good time to find out if there is a position. If not, I know of another position opening up for family."

"Harry, that's a good idea."

"Of course, all of my ideas are good."

Every girl there snorted. "Right. Keep dreaming Potter.

"I can't believe Bones fired you though. I may have completely misread her."

"It wasn't her Harry. Word came down from the minister through one of his toadies that an example had to be made," Tonks explained. "She even went to his office and complained. When she came back her face was red and she looked like she wanted to hit someone. But she told me it was either she fire me or she would have been removed from her position and then I let go anyway."

"Still not right though."

"But a perfect example of Ministry politics." Neville rejoined.

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Monday at school was horrible. The kids walked in the door in time for breakfast. They each had their hats, they weren't going to give the headmaster any kind of ammunition. Breakfast early in the morning was only lightly attended. Normally Flitwick and McGonagall were the early teachers, the rest coming in staggered and the headmaster coming in and sitting towards the end.

Silence fell on the 30 or so students there. They were from all three schools and each of the houses. Almost uniformly they each had a sneer.

"Well, we called that one right."

Hedwig flew in to greet him and to get her morning bacon fix.

Neville shrugged, "They're still under the potion. No real reason to clear them of it, he would just dose them again."

Just to be clear, "No one travels alone. Luna one of us will try to walk you between classes, but if that's not possible make sure you are with someone who won't hex you in the back."

"I know Harry," she said as she demolished her happy face of pancakes with the banana eyes, jelly mouth, and bacon mustache. "Most of the animosity is towards you and Nevy. But Winky is watching me all the time. Aren't you Winky?"

A daisy appeared in a vase in front of Luna.

"Thank you, Winky!" She said smelling it. "Our friends are the best!"

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Harry reported to Filch early. He had one and a half detentions to do today. Even being prepared for hostility one is not inured against it. All day long guys were bumping into him "by accident". The word had spread earlier that day when someone had "accidentally" knocked Luna's books out of her hand. The sixth year 'Puff, Harold Peters, had apologized at once with a sneer on his face, but he hadn't seen Harry and Hermione coming around the corner behind him. They had seen the entire thing.

Peters had chosen the worst possible time and place. It was right in front of an empty classroom devoid of pictures and statues. He expected to see a scared or exasperated little girl. What he saw was a bright smile, and Luna wiggle her fingers at Peters, waving hello. "Wrong choice. My Harry loves me, I do hope the blibbering humdingers leave you soon."

Of all the possible reactions he had expected, that was not one of them. He was going to ask the "looney girl" what she was babbling about when he was jerked back by the neck and thrown rudely into a classroom. The door slammed shut, what light from the window of the door was obscured by Hermione standing in front of it, wand in hand a smirk on her face.

Peters fell back again as he tripped over one of the ancient desks that his impact had scattered. Simultaneously he tried to both stand and pull his wand, before he did either, the dark figure stood on him and propelled him back by the strength of arm until his back was pressed against the ancient chalkboard.
One hand of Harry's pinned the idiots wand hand, the other was on Peter's throat denying him air.

"You spread the word." Harry's mouth was an inch from his ear. "Anyone, and I mean anyone that messes with my girls or Neville's girl's court's death."

Harry's nose was offended by the acrid smell of urine. He continued after smiling darkly, "Do you understand?"

Peter's nodded, only intent on getting out alive. He nodded.

"Say it!" Harry hissed. "Say you understand."

"I..I understand."

Harry yanked him off the wall and propelled him towards the door. "Tell everyone," he called to the boy's back as his hand tried to pull the door open.

Hermione smirked as Luna called to his back, "Have a nice day!"

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Mrs. Norris arched her back and spit at him. That kneazle had never liked him. Filch just groused, "You're early."

Harry shrugged. "I can come back if you want. But this way I can get that half a detention and then the whole one and this way you can have an evening to yourself."

Filch paused as he considered this. Harry continued. "I know I'm not your favorite student, but I'm really trying here. I thought maybe you getting done early some evenings would work to both our benefit."

Filch hadn't made up his mind, but he was tempted to tell him to come back later at the proscribed time. "Why'd you leave again?"

"My fiancé's parent's are muggles. Some wizards attacked them. I wanted to get them to safety. The headmaster isn't kindly disposed to me recently."

Filch snorted, "He downright hates you boy. What happened to them muggles? They be okay?"

Harry wanted to keep him talking, he would like to get this man on his side, or at least not directly against him. "They're fine. There were eight wizards attacking them. They hurt a couple of them before my house elves got them to safety."

He snorted, "What the Aurors say?"

"Mr. Filch, most of them don't like me either. In fact, one of my cousins was fired yesterday from being an Auror. They aren't going to do anything. You know how it works. If you're not a pureblood you ain't shit."

"That's dangerous talk. Upset a lot of people that kind of talk will." He nodded making a decision. "C'mon then let's get this done we can both use a night off."

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Harry related to everyone his conversation with Mr. Filch. "He may even come up for a slice, so no Filch baiting." He said looking directly at the twins.
"Who us?" But they nodded.

They were going to be on their best behavior. The girls had sent owls to several people inviting them to meet in their quarters at 1900. (7:00 pm) They were sure they could wrangle another hour out of McGonagall extending the curfew until 2300. Especially because she was one of the people the girls had sent owls to. Four hours was a lot of time to get things done.

The twins and Ginny had been the first to get there.

"It's not our idea Harry. Ginny said it would be okay of we brought some extras."

"Of course it's fi... Hello Penny, Percy welcome. Of course, you are welcome here."

The twin speak started, "Of course the delectable Miss Clearwater ..."

"would be welcome." The other finished.

"It's just the prat," they said in unison.

He had followed five feet behind Penny. Unwilling to come closer to the group that he felt he was so much better than, but so in love with Penny. And she had been right, he did make a small miscalculation. He would find another way to best Potter and then everything would be right and he would be in charge, and Penny would be the pliable little house witch. "Yes!" He thought. "I'm certain of it." With the twins comment, he looked to answer them in kind when her look froze him. His lips tightened but he didn't say a word. She held the way open for him and motioned him in ahead of her.

"You're welcome," she said like a mother reminding a child.

"He just looked at the floor, his tips of his ears turned a bit pink. Softly he answered, "Thank you."

McGonagall and Flitwick arrived with Tonks in tow. Followed surprisingly by both Fleur and Victor.

The last to arrive was the 6' tall blond Ravenclaw that had sat with them during the first task.

"Cousin!" Luna was happy, there was just so many there that she loved. She ran to him and greeted him with a kiss.

"I told you Luna, we, that is I," he said correcting himself for the two professors sake. "Don't hug and kiss."

"And we told you," Tracy said getting in on the action, "Don't care." Giving him one also. The other girls did likewise after greeting their other guests.

Introductions were made, mostly. "I know everyone in my house and I don't remember you," Flitwick said. He wasn't on guard, the girls obviously trusted him; kissing him and calling him cousin.

"But I am cousin to one in here. These marvelous kids are wonderfully inclusive. For the nonce call me...Obsidian."

Flitwick's face lit up in recognition. "Ah. You are indeed cousin to one here. Well met Obsidian. May your blade rend your enemies lives."

"And their gold fill our coffers."

McGonagall was no slouch, the clue was sufficient for her to figure it out. And seeing the latest ministry lapdog there, knew he had to remain hidden. "I have one question Mr. Obsidian. What is a pizza?"

"Pizza?" Several repeated.

Most knew what they were talking about. Some didn't There were several voices saying, "You have got to try this."

Fortunately, the three elves had been making them and placing warming charms on them. Soon everyone was digging in. More than one person was heard, "Mmmmm."

Even Percy went back for a third slice. He might have gone for a fourth until a look from Penny stopped him. "You will not get as wide as your mother. No offense you guys," she said to the twins and Ginny. "You will keep your figure. Too many people join the Ministry and get out of shape."

Everyone looked at each other and smirked, but no one said a word. One of the twins was going to comment but an elbow from the other silenced him.

The two professors were the first to leave an hour later. They had a couple slices; Flitwick especially loved the Basilisk and butterscotch, but they had to leave. They had to go before they were caught with an obvious imposter, no matter how innocent his visit.

"I am not going to sit here and listen to more Quidditch stories," Hermione asked Winky to turn one of the bedrooms into a second parlor.

"Before you go, we do need to speak with our cousin about getting employees for the shop."

"You mean you're opening a pizza shop?" Tonks was excited. She had been turned down. The headmaster had told Minerva that he would not consider Tonks for an assistant professorship. He had given her the excuse of a lack of practical experience.

The truth was he was going to wait until she was desperate to put more pressure on Remus.

"Two. We have one in Hogsmeade and another in Diagon alley. We expect a huge take away business and Hogsmeade has all of the muggle arcade games as well as a skating rink. We need to find managers for them. The goblins have already hired the crew."

"I managed a pizza shop!" Both Tonks and Penny exclaimed nearly simultaneously.

"Sounds like we need to do some job interviews. That is if you're interested."

"That depends on how much it pays," both girls said once more in twin- speak. Before giggling.

"C'mon girls. Let's talk about this. I agree with Hermione the guys always talk about their damn brooms." The blonde jumped up and grabbed Fleur's hand.

"You don't want to stay with the boys do you?"

"Mais non. Quidditch is fatigant. Boring non?"

"Boring yes."

All the girls fled into the second parlor including Winky and Misty. The guys all laughed and were finally able to put their feet on the low table in front of them as they opened another butterbeer.

A feminine head appeared from the girl's room. Ginny called, "Perce come on. Come in here with us."

Looking a bit irritated he shook his head and took a good pull from his drink. Her head disappeared and the door closed.

"Perce," she said her head once more out the door 30 seconds later. "You don't really care for Quidditch. Come on in with the rest of the girls."

He almost snapped at his youngest sibling. "I need to talk to the twins about something."

She looked a bit irritated, but the door closed and reopened a few seconds later. This time Penny stood in the doorway. "Perce." Her voice snapped.

The twins looked at each other and whispered, "Did she say Perce..."

"Or Priss?"

"Come in here with us. We need to get this debt settled."

"But the twins..."

"Have made Ginny their business manager."

"It's true Priss,"

"I mean Perce," the other said. "We're okay at it. But Gingin has a real gift for it."

She came over and took him by his hand and led him into the ladies parlor his face crimson. The door had just closed with a click when all of the guys burst out in laughter.

"Ve know who wears the pants in that family, ya?"

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If one was to get up early that next morning, even though it was bitterly cold, and look over the lake, you would see two young men and an elf standing near the lake, talking and gesticulating. A close look at the lake would have seen the squid appendages reaching over and shaking hands with the three vertebrates.

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The girls refused to speak about Percy's adventure in the forbidden zone. Although they each smirked when it was mentioned. Even sweet Luna had an evil glint in her eye and said, "It's for the best."

What they did say was that both Tonks and Penny had a lot of experience in the running of different pizza parlors. Penny's mom even owning one. They were both hired immediately, with a handsome profit sharing package. Fleur had expressed interest in opening a franchise in magical France; somewhere near Beauxbaton's. She wanted to see how the business performed while she was here.

The shop in Hogsmeade was set to open the following weekend. The girls had already planned on an advertising campaign. Both crews were going to work the first weekend in Hogsmeade and the following week another campaign for the Alley location. That one included promotions that should entice the Goblin's to try the pizza.

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It became a marketing sensation. The first meal brought in ten owls. Each dropped their burden randomly. Seamus was the first to open his letter. He had been a moment from throwing it away, even in the magical world no one liked advertisements. But he then decided to look at it at the last second.

"A large pizza with two toppings for free!"

The word free had a special magic all of its own. Now several looked at the colored brochure that magically changed showing all of the various types of pizza available.

"This weekend in Hogsmeade," he said loudly. "I wasn't planning on going, it's always the same you know? But now not only pizza but they have skating and an arcade!"

Other tables had quieted to listen to what had gotten the Gryff's excited so early in the morning. When the other owls came in and dropped their burdens off, this message was repeated at every table.

It wasn't long before the first and second years were complaining that they couldn't go to Hogsmeade. But the girls had planned for this also. Even more owls flew in at the evening meal reminding everyone of the events scheduled for Saturday.

Invisible but very audible trumpets blew a fanfare. All turned towards the sound. At a silent command and spell cast a sign was transfigured above the doors to the Great Hall, (The sign had actually been there already. Just had engorgio cast and then turned visible.)
The sign read, "Did you know that Pizza Magica Arcade...

(A/N: Name of Parlor subject to change. I know there is already a Pizza Magica Restaurant. So I added the Arcade to it the name. There is no affiliation with any actual pizza restaurant in existence. Anyone looking for compensation can go to the shop in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley and discuss it with the manager on duty.)

...offers take out? Get your friends to bring you one!"

The sign changed, "Talk to your head of house. We will with their consent install a "special order window in your common area. Details to be discussed with HoH."

The sign changed a third time, "Did you know... You can have a Slice on ICE!" A picture of a handsome couple skating and holding a pizza slice appeared, and then the same couple playing various arcade games, all with a slice of pizza near.

By the end of the week, everyone was looking for the owls bringing free pizza coupons. The girls had capitalized on the interest and changed the brochures to a distinctive gold color. There was more than one squabble over "the golden tickets" as the muggle born started to call them.

This didn't sit well with the headmaster. He wished he had Severus near as his foil again. He knew this was all Potter's fault. He didn't have proof, but as headmaster, proof is not required and often inconvenient.

"Mr. Potter!" He called to Harry at the Thursday evening meal.

Harry sighed and stood up. "Yes, headmaster?"

"This advertising is very distracting to the school. All private endeavors should be kept out of the school."

"There are plenty of other advertisements that come from owls headmaster. And we all remember Professor Lockhart and his cupid-like dwarfs, and how he made all seven years buy every single one of his useless books. At least the pizza coupons will give someone a pizza for free."

More than one student agreed with him, a few "Yeahs!" Were heard from other tables but quickly silenced by the headmaster's glare.

"Nevertheless, these advertisements must cease."

What makes you think I have anything to do with the coupons?"

"You've had pizza parties in your rooms, did you not?"

"That's true headmaster."

"But now you are claiming you have nothing to do with this pizza arcade."

"I have nothing to do with the advertisements."

It was true. The girls had anticipated this and kept Harry and Neville out of the loop.

There was something wrong with that statement, but the surly headmaster couldn't continue on berating him. Unless he pushed the upstart to a magical vow. "I don't like your attitude Mr. Potter. Another ten points from Gryffindor and another detention for you."

"Of course headmaster."

He thought he saw Potter smirk before he sat down. His calm acquiescence irritated him more than any other response would. Dinner was ruined for him, as he threw his fork down in disgust and left in a huff. No one paid attention as points flowed into the Gryffindor tally, as three professors each silently added ten points to Potter for his mature disposition in the face of a hostile headmaster.

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"I'm not sure this is a good idea Penny."

"What's not a good idea Perce?"

"This pizza thing. Potter is forcing you to quit your job. This business seems risky to me. Maybe you should keep your current job with the Prophet and if it works out then make the change." He thought this was the safest way. She was guaranteed a salary. No risk.

"Wait a minute. You want me to stay in a job that has no advancement. I'm a typesetter Percy! If I stay there in 20 years I would still be a typesetter. Instead, they offer me a position managing a store. It so happens that I have a lot of experience in managing a store like theirs. A place that has no competitors. It is almost guaranteed to be successful and I even get part ownership in it. And salary? I start out making three times what I am making now. What's your problem with this?"

"I don't like Potter. The minister doesn't like Potter, he tolerates him but thinks he's a glory hound. And you know how the headmaster feels about him."

"So everyone that you admire hates Harry. Therefore, Harry must be avoided."

"Exactly." She was starting to see.

"No, I'm tired of debating this. You bet your month's salary away. Your sister was kind enough to let us pay it back in increments. I'm doing this. You keep your position at the ministry and if things go well we'll be able to buy our own house in five to ten years."

He watched her and knew she would do it anyway. No matter what he said, but there was the other thing that bothered him. "When you called me in their room, it sounded like you called me Priss."

She watched his face carefully. Like any good Ravenclaw you not only sought knowledge, but you learned to read people as well. She could see the hurt and depth of feeling. Looking back, she could see how this was, at least in his eyes, stripping his masculinity from him. She needed to throw him a bone. A little one anyway. "I'm sorry. That was an accident. I was upset that you didn't follow me like we agreed. And I simply misspoke."

"But it was all girls in there!"

"Yes, I see that. You may be right."

He was too upset to catch that properly. "And now the twins will not let me live it down."

He was beginning to whine. Whining always pissed her off. "You're just going to have to try to put on your big boy pants, aren't you! You strutted around for a week with Bighead boy on your badge before I pointed it out to you, and then you whined about it for three months! Did you ever consider playing a prank on them in retaliation? That would have gone a long way in showing them that you're their big brother," she said stressing the word brother.

"That wouldn't be proper. We need to set the example."

"Exactly my point. And you are still setting it. Maybe it was a Freudian slip."

"A what?"

"Never mind, we each have some thinking to do. Let's leave this conversation where it is. I do want you to know I love you, okay?"

"But Penny."

"But Penny nothing." 'Didn't he see the proper response should have been, I love you too?' "Why don't you go make dinner. While we're eating we'll have another talk about who is doing what around here."

"Yes dear." He sighed. It was becoming more and more clear to him that she did not want to follow his lead. Eventually though, she will see that he was right. Then he could lord it over her. Until then he would follow her directions. Plus as a cook, she left much to be desired. Good thing mum was sharing her recipes with him. He liked cooking, it actually relaxed him, and cleaning was okay, those cleaning spells were easy. Even it was woman's work.

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Harry had worked extra detentions without complaining and had even brought a pizza to Filch. At first, the aged squib thought Harry was having a go at him, but changed his mind when he saw Harry take a slice out of the sausage pizza. Turned out that both he and Mrs. Norris loved pizza, but to be more accurate, the cat really enjoyed the sausage. Harry promised him a discount anytime he wanted a pie or even just a slice.

When Saturday came, people were clamoring to head to Hogsmeade. Many of the more motivated teens decided not to wait for a carriage. There weren't enough, as everyone wanted to leave first thing in the morning, despite the cold, they jogged down to the building. Everyone wanted to be the first.

The goblins had subcontracted much of the work to the dwarfs. The large building had been a rundown hovel near the Hog's head inn on a larger tract of land, had been torn down and a solid larger building put up. With space expansion charms, the inside had the space of a football field. The outside was garish, intentionally so. This was for several reasons. The first being to draw attention to it, the second being it wasn't stated in the contract how the outside should appear. Therefore, the owners couldn't complain and would most likely rehire the dwarfs again to redo it, if the price was right for it to match the same type of thatched house the rest of the town had.

There were several parts to the building, the kitchen large and well appointed, was along one wall and was able to service both people inside and at the far end, people that were outside. The part of the rink had a retractable ceiling, which allowed the skaters more comfort depending on the weather. This way skating would not be interrupted by inclement weather unless they chose to.

The goblins had done their research. They had visited many arcades and seen how they operated. They copied what they liked including the inexpensive toys and items that could be won if a person had earned enough tickets. Toys, stuffed animals both found in the human and magical world were available, including stuffed crumple horned snorkack made up per Luna's specifications. Hermione had insisted on regular pens, paper, and pencils being available, as well as calligraphy pens and refills. She was going to slowly introduce the wizarding world to the next century and this was one of the ways to do it. Homework turned in with this type of pen would be indistinguishable from done with a quill.

Every conceivable game was there. Historically the most popular as well as the latest. Not only the typical race cars and punching, and skeeball (r), but several games designed with the pureblood wizard or witch in mind. What would you do games that had a "wand" attached with a tether to a machine offering choices and then different spells to conquer enemies as you went up levels. Each of the games was turned on by a cheap brass coin that could be purchased by a machine using knuts, sickles, and galleons. Everything was inexpensive, the whole experience designed to remove every single Knut from your possession and leave you with happy memories.

The six were the only students not in a hurry to get there. Each wanted to see the operation running at full tilt. Both the Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley crews had been training since Tuesday to get it right. The goblins, masters at breaking tasks down to step by step instructions had everything ready to go. The crews hired by them were all either half bloods or muggle-born. They quickly became a team and reports from Bloodbringer told the triads there were no problems with anyone taking instructions from Penny or Tonks.

Neville held Trace's and Daffy's hands as they strolled down the lane heading towards Pizza Magica. More than one shop owner poked their head out the door wondering where all of the students were. This was their big money day. A significant portion of their profits came from these Hogsmeade weekends. He noticed as they approached the building a sentry on the roof. These sentries were an important part of the security and could close the building down with a rune-based spell.
Neville saw several other guards amongst the crowd all of them inconspicuous; all of them goblin trained and certified.

The room was brightly lit. Every face smiling, the laughter and the conversation loud. Neville and the girls headed for a not quite hidden stairway. Anyone not authorized would have been stopped before they were three steps up. Opening the second door he saw Harry, Hermione and Luna already seated sipping at some drinks. The wall was charmed to allow people to see through it as if it was clear glass. They watched with smiles on their face as happy teenagers donated their gold to them in exchange for a very happy weekend.

"How goes it so far?"

Bloodbringer held up one claw as he started on his second basilisk pizza of the day. His mouth too busy to answer. He was going to restrict himself and increase his weapons training. He would have to if he wanted to keep his warrior status current.

Hermione answered for him. "We just got here five minutes ahead of you. He told us there had already been two arguments in the first couple of hours."

"They were nothing," he finishing for her, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "These were not unexpected, nor particularly vicious. Everyone had been trained for these events."

"And the wards have been completed?" Harry had been concerned.

"Yes and the dark mark ward is in place. Any employee can engage the wards and lock the doors. No one can apparate from the outside to the top of the building. Trying to do so will bounce the person a good distance away, and they will not be in a good condition afterward."

"I'm concerned about getting townspeople in in case of a DE attack though."

"We've thought of that Lady Davis. In the event of an attack, a security person can bring a person in through the doors. However, only you six or I can allow anyone with the dark mark in."

"I don't see that happening," Luna said shaking her head.

"Neither do we."

"Any projections on sales?" Daphne was trying to get an idea of profits already.

"A little early to forecast. We'll have a better idea after today. See me tomorrow and we'll project some figures."

"Enough of this! Harry, take me skating!"

"Luna. I don't know how to skate."

Her infectious smile; he could never resist it. "That's okay we'll teach you. C'mon 'Mione."

She grabbed each by a hand and out the door and down the steps. The others watched her pulling them to the skate rental area.

Bloodbringer watched them, a goblin smile on his face. It was good to let them be teens once in awhile. He almost laughed as he watched Daphne and Trace out of the corner of his eye. Watching the other triad intensely but almost dancing in place, each wanting the other to say something.

"We can't let them have all of the fun can we?" Neville was trying to play it cool.

"No, we can't."

"And as owners, it would be remiss of us not to try it out for ourselves."

"That's true too."

He finally smiled, "Well. What are we waiting for? C'mon you two. Let's have some fun!"

This time he laughed out loud as soon as the door closed. He watched as both girls pulled a willing Neville along.

SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE

Sunday was almost as busy as Saturday. The only reason it was quieter was because a lot of money had already exchanged hands, and many of the students had run out. A careful inventory of all items had been completed. An entire cleaning crew had cleaned after things had closed. Bloodbringer had forecasted the Hogsmeade weekends would be profitable enough for the venture to work, but the takeout business was going to be the mainstay.

Monday afternoon the headmaster called both Harry and Neville to his office. Inside already sitting in the chairs were three business owners that the lads recognized. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Longbottom, I believe you know Madam Puddifoot, Ambrosius Flume, and Madam Rosmerta. They are representatives of the merchant's guide for Hogsmeade. They are very upset. The students on the weekends generate a lot of revenue for Hogsmeade. They are here to complain about Pizza Magica Arcade."

Harry and Neville looked at each other. While not unexpected, neither had envisioned the headmaster getting involved.

Harry answered for the both of them, "What exactly are your concerns?"

Flume, the owner of Honeydukes, yelled, "You took all of our business!"

Harry shrugged, "And?" They all were coached by Bloodbringer about this possibility.

"And if it continues, we'll go out of business!"

"In which case, we would then add candy and similar supplies to our inventory to meet the need left. This is a business. Neither of us is going to apologize for having a successful weekend."

Harry took over, "But you are looking at it the wrong way."

"What other way is there to look at it?" Rosmerta didn't sound happy either but didn't sound as angry as Flume was.

"Right now the only other pizza restaurant is in Diagon Alley, and that isn't even open yet. People are going to hear about this...phenomena and visit. And not just on weekends either."

"Be that as it may," Dumbledore interrupted. "I think it would be better for you boys to close your store. It would be bad to change things too much in Hogsmeade. The business owners there have a particular style. And your business while certainly inventive, is just not right for Hogsmeade."

Incredulous. Harry and Neville once more looked at each other. "You can't be serious headmaster. Now you are trying to dictate what Lord Potter and myself can do with our own money?"

He didn't answer that but continued, "You lied to me. You told me that you didn't have anything to do with this pizza place. I went to the ministry and pulled the information."

"I didn't lie to you headmaster. I told you I had nothing to do with the advertising. And neither Lord Longbottom or I knew anything about it. We had delegated that aspect to others. But let's get back on point here. What is your interest in this? None of your positions gives you any say in the day to day operations of the businesses in Hogsmeade unless you have part ownership in your brother's establishment. In which case you are abusing your position here, and this conversation should be held elsewhere."

The headmaster had to go to a fallback position. "I am an intermediary between you and the others owners."

Neville looked at the three businessmen. He shook his head, getting perturbed. "Did you attempt to contact anyone of the owner's or the manager? She is there today and well able to answer all of your questions."

Once again the aged Ambrosius answered for the three of them, still angry. "We came directly here to Dumbledore to enjoin the students from visiting your... your pizza place!"

"I don't think that the headmaster has sufficient cause to stop anyone from enjoying our restaurant. We have done nothing wrong. We have filed all of the proper permits and receive permission from the Ministry of Magic to open. It would NOT be in his interests to interfere with the private business of two Lords and Ancient and Noble houses."

Neville wasn't afraid to throw his title around when he needed to. Harry and he had spent a fair amount of Galleons to get theses places open. It was one thing to fail because of a bad product or other business issues, but quite another due to some kind of bureaucratic interference.

"None of you read the Prophet for today have you?"

It was true. The business owners had gravitated to each other as early as possible to interrupt the headmaster's breakfast, where he normally read the paper. No one in the headmaster's office had gotten to it the whole day. Instead, they had whined for several hours and wouldn't let him go until he finally acquiesced and called the two young men. Spying it on the headmaster's desk, he took it and opened it. Page six was a full page add extolling the virtues of Pizza Magica and had a clip out coupon. On the page had a listing of the other business in the area. The magic paper flipping from one to the next to the next listing all of the shops in Hogsmeade.

That was one of the few advertisements the guys had been briefed on, Neville hadn't cared one way or the other if the other stores were mentioned, but Harry had been against it. The only reason he had been outvoted was because they needed to put something there a full page add needed to grab your attention and mentioning those stores helped do that.

"So, this is supposed to placate us? Some free advertising."

"Look. Don't be daft." Neville's patience was at an end. "Just monitor foot traffic for the next couple of weeks. You will probably find your business up during the week, and especially this coming weekend when it is not a Hogsmeade weekend for the school. You will see a lot more people there interested in the pizza place. It would be a good time to run some sales to get them into your store too."

Harry's mood soon duplicated his brother's. "If we were the established store and your business just opened and took all of our business away, we might have resorted to doing the same that you did. However, while we want to have good relations with all of the other store owners, we are not going to apologize for providing a needed service. Everything we have been shown tells us that there are enough galleons to go around, in fact, I would not be surprised if you had more gold at the end of the year."

There was no reason to continue the conversation. Encouraging the other owner's to contact them or their store manager directly instead of going through an intermediary, they took their leave of them. They heard the headmaster as they closed the door, "I will reexamine the charter and see if I can find cause for an injunction. I'm on your side, those kids are too full of themselves."

SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE

By the Wednesday before the second task was to commence, the twins reported success at the prank that the guys had commissioned. At first, they had planned on just pranking Dumbles, but that would point to them. It was decided a prank was needed that would cover the entire school. Or as in this case, all three schools. Hermione and Daphne had wanted to put some safeties in however. They wanted to ensure everyone's health. That actually took the longest. Then just because they knew the girls would ask, they also had to come up with a potion to reverse the effects of the spell, just in case of unforeseen emergency.

"How long will it last?"

"You can count on mass confusion the entire day," One said.

Once again it had to be aerosol. However, they couldn't have balloons deliver it like they did the last time. That would be a dead giveaway. The girls had reminded the twins about the eave that ran around the whole Great Hall and the access door to it. Once again the security of Hogwarts was called into question when a simple 'Alohomora' unlocked the door. House elves could have "popped" to the spot, so the access hatch had to have been intended for humans. And that was all the justification they needed. The twins had set the system up through canisters set for a slow release at a wide area spell directed at it. It was simple to hide the wand that pointed up and the soft whisper of a spell which translated to begin.

The gas was odorless, colorless and once again needed an activation phrase through a wide area spell. The twins had waited until the maximum number of students were in the hall.

The activation phrase could have been anything for this part. It just needed a "push" of magic. The twins had heard Luna softly signing a muggle magic song she had gotten from a cartoon rabbit and had liked the tune. One of the lyric spells they weren't going to touch, the other...was perfect. "Hocus pocus," they said together.

Suddenly, there were screams from the entire hall as everyone transformed at once. The multiple screams and then laughter brought other students in as well, laughing for a time and then transforming. Soon people went running out of the hall some trying to go change, others to go and get friends that so far had missed the fun.

A stranger coming in wouldn't have seen a magic school. Instead, they would have seen a circus school. Myriad examples of all positions available at a circus were available. The head table sported a bearded lady (headmaster), trying to finite spell him/herself and detect poisons and potions on food, silverware, and fluids. A lion tamer (McGonagall), looking comfortable near a smaller chair with a whip in her hand. She looked ...natural. Also in attendance, the dwarf looked unconcerned and satisfied.

Around the room were many acts, jugglers, especially two red headed ones tossing plates back and forth uncaring that the occasional plate was missed and broken on the floor. Acrobats, by the score. A few masters of ceremonies, strongmen and even some girls looking to ride some horses by standing on their back.

The bearded ladies voice tried to get control of the situation, but there was too much hilarity. Finally, the lion tamer pulled her pistol out and shot it into the ceiling.

"There is no reason for this noise. Classes commence soon. If you are able to, cover yourself in the proper house robe, if you can't attendance is still mandatory."

When nobody moved, she cracked her whip, "Well c'mon then. Chop chop."

SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE

Dora had some final paperwork to do at the ministry. She had worked the day before and utilized her trip to the ministry to drop off some coupons for special people. Those same golden tickets were also a commodity at the Ministry. As soon as the purebloods find out that it was a free meal and loved the world over, then it will be too good to pass up. They will get it because it's free and love it because it's good, and then talk bad about it because it was a muggle delicacy.

Dora dropped a few extra with the Aurors. Some 'em were stuck up "a type" holes but the majority of them were good, and she had tears in her eyes as she realized she would miss them and the life.

Becky Dunsworth was universally loved and admired in the ministry. She was two years senior to Tonks and was also a 'Puff. Even the staunchest pureblood would leave her alone, it was impossible not to like her. But as a half-blood, she would never amount to much here. But ever her superiors in the records department loved her. Except for Percy.

As Tonks walked in, Percy finished berating the poor girl. Apparently, he yelled at her for solid 15 minutes over a form that was misfiled.

The poor girl was left in tears as Percy stomped away form in hand. His eyes sought Tonks', she saw in his recognition, a moment of fear, and then loathing; all in the space of eight seconds.

"Dor..Dora," she said in recognition. "I'm so sorry for what happened to you." Fresh tears began to fall. Just disciplined, and the girl felt bad for Tonks.

Some of the other ladies came over and were consoling Becky as well. The word "berk," and "prat," were two of the nicest ones.

"Is he still seeing Clearwater?" Another asked.

Tonks told them about hers and Penny's new job. She also took a moment to tell them of Percy's slight to her.

"He needs to be taken down a peg or two, but he is kissing up to all of the right people."

Dora smiled, "I have an idea, but I would need your help, two or three signatures on some ministry forms, and Penny's permission. I won't do anything without her consent."

Marsha, another half-blood that had been there 25 years and had been insulted by pure bloods the entire time, spoke for the group. "We'll be glad to help. And the idiot will sign anything put in front of him. It doesn't even matter if it's a blood quill. He only reads the top two pages of any stack of documents."

"We've gotten plenty of excused days that way. He's clueless," another said.

"Good. All I have to do is get a hold of Penny. Merlin knows what she sees in him."

"You can use our floo to call her."

Tonks couldn't help but congratulate herself on the prank. Even though it had just begun. "This was worthy of the Marauders. I can't wait to tell Sirius," she thought.

SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE SMARTARSE

OMAKE

(A/N: YOU SHOULD GO TO YOUTUBE AND TYPE IN PINKY AND THE BRAIN. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH A FULL EPISODE - BUT THOSE ARE FUN ALSO. AT LEAST LISTEN TO THE OPENING SONG)

"Luna Sings: Hermione and Luna

Yes Hermione and Luna

One is a genius; the other likes tuna.

They're witches of the west

They each like Harry best

Hermione, Hermione and Luna Luna...Luna. Narf!"

"What are you reading Hermione?"

"It's called a book, Luna. They are filled with words and they convey thoughts and emotions." (Why did she always bug me right when I was getting to the good part?)

Luna puts a finger next to her mouth thinking while her eyes are looking towards the ceiling. "I know that. But why are you reading a book? Don't you want to spend time with Harry?"

Hermione puts the book down with a sigh. She'll try to explain it to her - again. "I am looking for the best way to take over the world, or our little part of it." She said jabbing a finger at the map of Great Britain.

"This way, once I get done I can train minions to take over our jobs and then train more minions to watch over them. After five or six layers of minions, we can evaluate them for a period of not less than three years. After that three year period, we can slowly let go of power until we can spend time with Harry."

Hermione-Brain turned around to see Luna-Pinky walking out with Harry. She turned and waved to her, "Umm. Well, have fun with that Hermione-Brain. While you're doing that Harry is going take me to a taffy pulling festival!"
Hermione's eye's got even bigger as her brain rebooted. She called to the closing door. "Umm wait for me. We can take over the world tomorrow."

(episode also ends in song)

That's Luna

Luna and the

Brain, Brain Brain.

Narf!