[~Lately, I've been losing sleep~ Thinkin' about the things that we could be~]

Off you go, leaves, into the side so the visitors and worshippers don't see this place as unkempt because of you.

[~But lately I've been, I've been prayin' hard~ Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be counting stars~]

Including you, dust! I banish your existence from the residence of the god residing here, your atrocious presence be damned!

[~Oh we'll be counting staaars~]

Ha! I swatted the pile of dust straight outta here! Now, along with its own kind in the dirt ground, I can no longer see the mountain of filth I hath purified from the Hakurei Shrine anymore.

*~whistle~*

Alright, that's the front entrance down. I'll just sweep the leaves to a pile in a corner then move on to the back portion of the shrine.

*~whistle~*

Right, since Master has left off to investigate that explosion, I've been taking my time. After pitching up the tent inside the room (Sleeping under a real roof will feel real good later), rearranged a few of my stuff here and there in some areas, I then took the time to earn my keep. Master promised to help me find a home in the 'Human Village' sooner or later, so while I'm still here, I'm going to offer my services.

[~I see this life like a swingin' vine, swing my heart across the line. In my face is flashin' signs, seek it out and ye shall find~]

Seeing that broom (kinda looks like it had seen better days) resting against the door elicited the immediate task of what I was to do. With dust and dried leaves scattered almost everywhere outside, I decided to go from there. With the broom in hand, I swept up the leaves first, pile 'em up at a side where it wouldn't usually be seen by a passing visitor.

[~Oh, but I'm not that old—young, but I'm not that bold. I don't think the world is sold, I'm just doin' what we're told~]

Sweeping the dust was the easy part of the task. I only have to clean up the stone pathway from the entrance to the shrine. The inside of the shrine looks well maintained, at least. That leaves the outside to be the only area I have to handle.

[~I-aaaaahhhhhhhh—]

Damn it! Voice crack.

*Clears throat*

Anyway… [~Iiiii~aahhhhhh~] there we go. [~Feel something so right doing the wrong thiiing~]

I gotta say, the spot for this mountain shrine is well-chose. I'd say it's beautiful too. Not only am I surrounded by Mother Nature, I have a grand view of Gensokyo from up here. A giant forest, a big-ass mountain so high it touched the sky, a rather misty lake, I think I saw a bamboo forest too, I could even see the village from here as well (sweet). I don't know why but I'm feeling so much nostalgia just by looking at the view, so much of my old Country is just like this fucking place. I love it! Aw~ makes wanna cry tears of joy.

[~Iiiii~aahhhhhh~ feel something so wrong doin' the right thiiing~]

Though the pillar of smoke from the recent explosion is still there, and it's ruinin' the scenery, by a whole lot. But the color of the smoke has gone white, which means the possible fire is gone. Can't see the source from here though, too obscure because of the trees, and they're really bushy. How old is this place that the trees had grown that tall and bushy, really?

I wonder if Master had solved the problem. I kept hearing sounds of explosions from time to time, though they are not as loud as the first one. It almost sounded like a grenade battle, but I tried not to think much about it. The way she reacted to it earlier was like her laundry had fallen off the wires; which means this kind of thing is usual for her. I guess that's a Gensokyo thing, I'm sure she'll be alright.

I hope.

[~I could'a lied, could'a lied, could'a li-ied~ Ev'rything that kills me makes me feel alive~]

I did say that I will make my presence nonexistent to the shrine, I also had to remain true to not being a nuisance to the owner. In a general sense, I'm basically an intruder. Being made to live here offhandedly must be too much for a decision she had to make for me. I gotta pay her by means of service. I'm sure she'll appreciate her work being less while I'm here. If she's busy handling 'splosions like the one earlier, I'll take her place to manage the housework.

If she lives alone, that is.

[~Baby, I've been losing sleep~ Thinkin' about the things that we could be~ But, baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard~ Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be counting stars~]

After this, I'll clean up my clothes. Since my recent run and fall and all, I changed to a cleaner set of clothes after unpacking; which consists of a pair of grey jogging pants rolled up just below the knee to let some air in and a healthy white T-shirt to help me cool off the afternoon heat. I left my former clothing folded in my room (I'll clean those up when I got the time). I found a donation box just at the entrance, when I looked inside it…

It was a tongue-click: It's empty.

I hope that doesn't forebode that the population of humans in this land are so low that the amount they could offer to their resident Watchmen was scarce. Because if so, I'm so boned in this land of monsters.

[~Lately, I've been losing sleep~ Thinkin' about the things that we could be~ But lately I've been, I've been prayin' hard~ Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be counting stars~]

But that's not my concern for now. I'm still on the first day after all, I barely know anything about this place. I'll talk to Master about it if she has the time. More info, more chances of survival.

*~whistle~*

Sweeping the backyard, I can't see anything else but nature, and nature alone. I'm starting to enjoy what I'm doing.

*~whistle~*

[~I feel the love and I feel it burn~

~Down this river, ev'ry turn~

~Hope is a 4-letter word~

~Make that money—watch it burn~ Oh!]

It's been a long time since I've cleaned now that I think about it. I usually clean my clothes whenever I have the chance, but cleaning a house? I never lived in a house for a while, and I miss housework. Even a guy like me who loves to move his body must go back inside the house and do his chores after playing in the sun.

Having a rest is the best part of being a parkour artist for me, especially if I had been chasing a woman for 3 months.

[~but I'm not that old—Young, but I'm not that bold~

~I don't think the world is sold~

~I'm just doing what we're told~

~I-aaaahh feel something so wrong doin' the right thing~

~I could'a lie, could'a lie, could'a lie-ay~

~Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly~]

I guess I'll end the song there. My jobs on this part is done, all the leaves are placed behind the bushes, or anywhere just away from the clearing of the yard. Too bad I don't have any matches with me to burn 'em. But at least this looks like a place to train your newbie the basics. Good green grass, nice wind, warm sun, and a peaceful atmosphere. Everything's quiet, no one is ever going to see you fail except God—it's just the place.

I feel like doing my warm ups.

Bad enough that I still got an aching back. I can't do a pull up with a bruising shoulder blade and really painful arm joints. My legs are still in top condition, if we exclude the stiff ankles. I can run, but not at the full speed. I'm exhausted still, I need a full day and a half of rest to regain my usual strength, and more than a week for all these stupid dislocations to heal.

Good thing its Sunday tomorrow, couldn't ask for a better day to rest.

Well, back to work. I just gotta remove the other leaf piles I left on the sides of the shrine—

Oh.

A dried leaf just fell in front of my face.

I looked up, and another leaf slips off the roof edge.

Looks like my job's not halfway done yet.

There are still leaves on the rooftop, looks like I will have to include that part as well. I'll even impress Master if I do, I wonder how she'll react over her temporary housemate cleaning her work station for her.

But the fact still stands: I can't pull myself up with my hands. How will I reach the rooftop without accidentally creating another snap on my spine?

Okay, assess the environment. There's nothing around the shrine that can boost you up, not even a railing. The roof is too high for mere jumping. There are only trees around you.

Bingo. I'll use the trees.

I still haven't forgotten who I once was. I am a Master Tree Climber. I know exactly how to do this without using my hands. Now, where is the nearest tree that had a low branch? Not too small to snap at my weight but not too big to overtake the entire side of the trunk I will wall-run to. Good thing this shrine's surrounded in a circle with a lot of trees, there are some that are quite close to the shrine too. And we're at a hill, it's quite breezy around here with all them leaves handing out new oxygen along with the natural winds.

Hmm. That one's too small. That one's just a twig. That tree's too short. Too high on that one, I need something shorter. If I could just use my arms, it would've been easier for me to pick the first tree I see. Uh, let's see…..

Oh, that one!

Left side of the shrine, this one is growing a lot closer to the shrine than all the other trees. The girth is not so bad too, not too lanky and looks strong enough to hold my weight. It's slanted towards the roof, and there's a lot of convenient branches to it.

Now, to get up is to…..

Holding the broom in a tight grip, I did the running start and wall-ran its trunk, my trusty rubber shoes replacing the recent sneakers gripping the rough wood as if they were spiked.

Carefully now. Grip the nearest branch, and hold on.

*SNAP!*

OW! MY BACK! That fuckin' hurts! Gotta hurry, my arms can't hold up my body weight like this! I'll have my fucking spine halved if I don't!

Okay, okay. Leverage the broom as a hook in between two branches, there we go, careful not to break it. Pull up gently so I wouldn't aggravate the injury. Once reaching a few meters upwards, lay a foot on the nearest branch.

Then we rest.

Hoooh, that was close. Ow.

Rubbing my back and shoulder, I moved slowly and threw the broom to the rooftop. There, with nothing in my hands I can now utilize both hands to some good use. Now to circle this trunk, there's a large branch behind the base I am at so I will have to jump around this thing without letting go.

Thankfully, this isn't the first time I did the thing, but it ain't one of the usuals. I don't know if I still got it. I might get myself a scare-rush if I do this but hey, at least the adrenaline would feel good afterwards.

Okay, okay, deep breath. I can do this, even with a bad arm, I can do this. Legs are still good. Legs are still good. There's a method in case of falling, just be careful. First and foremost: be careful.

One-two-three!

I leapt off the branch, my grip on the tree firmly tight, whirling my body around the base, and slammed my foot to the desired branch that was right behind it.

*Slip!*

Holy fuck! Holy fuck! I almost fell! I almost fucking fell!

Okay, okay! Calm down, me. Hug the tree and hold on until you calmed down. You're almost there. You're almost there.

….

*Exhale*

Okay, I'm good. Totally fine, heart's still poundin' like crazy but I'm cool. Now, just gonna turn around, face the rooftop, then take two steps forward on the branch with careful footing as I go towards its point….

…and JUMP!

The world slowing down around me for just half a second as I jumped over the grass below me, my knees landed on the ceramic, cylindrical tiles.

I did it. That's a mission success for me.

Adrenaline's still pumping though, I feel like doing a spinning back flip after this.

Of course I won't do such a thing. I've done enough exercise for today. After this, I'm going to sleep, pronto. Alright, now where did I throw that broom? Ah, there you are. Come here, Sweepy, we got one last job to do.

*Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.*

As I swept the leaves off the roof and fell back down to the earth, I couldn't help but admire just how much nature is around this shrine with an even higher vantage point. The more l think about it, there's really nothing but trees all around me. I wonder: would the human village be…uh…quiet? Since there ain't no cars anymore, would it be so peacefully quiet that I would consider staying there?

Maybe I'll leave that question for touring time. Today's cleaning time. Tomorrow, probably some rest time, or some spiritual stuff I gotta handle for my religion. Nothing beats an alone time to cope with the fact that a magical land exists. I still need to take in all these things, Youkai and all. Even that eye portal is still stuck in my head. And to think that I just jumped into one of them twice in a row not long ago...

Yep, I really need to take it all in. I gotta rest sooner or later.

Gotta say, there are a lot of leaves 'round here. The roof's practically covered with it, green or brown mixing well that the ceramic tiles are barely visible underneath them. That makes it even fun, I'll just sweep the hell out of this place without thinking of proper sweeping performance since I'm just sending them off the roof. I could go crazy if I wanna, pitching these leaves like golf. I can deal with the mess downwards when I'm through. I wanna clean a little longer, I'm kinda lovin' the peace and quiet right now.

Humming a tune that I offhandedly made (which sounded like crap actually, I'm getting out of practice), I continued the sweeping business (golf pitching included, hehe). The breeze is quite gentle up here, feels a little hot since I'm under the sun but it mixes well. It actually feels great.

*Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.*

I just realized that I'm enjoying sweeping off the leaves from the roof, like, what the hell? Who the hell enjoys stuff like this?

….well, I guess a guy like me counts. I did haven't done housework in a long time, maybe it's just the joys of cleaning slowly rushing in to my consciousness. Maybe I could go for being a little housekeeper while I'm still here, sounds like a tolerable thing to me.

*Sweep….Sweep….Sweep.*

Hmm…..

*Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.*

…..

*Sweep! Sweep! Sweep! Sweep!*

Holy shit, this is actually fun! Watching them fly upwards from my wild swings before getting swayed off by the wind or just simply fall down to the grassy ground is so satisfying! I don't know why but I'm gonna live my life while I'm still here!

[HIYA! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, LEAVES! YOU TOO! YOU WANT SOME TOO!? YEAH, I'LL FUCKING GIVE YA SOME!]

*WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!*

HAHAHAHAHA! Look at 'em fly! Take 'em away, sweet delicious wind that is certainly giving me some sweet fresh air! Oh, here's a big pile right here! I got an idea for this. Okay, both hands on the handle, bushy end right next to the leafy pile, shake that ass for a bit, lookout on the horizon, look down on pile again, rear it back, the shaft nearing my neck, then….

[FORE, BITCHES!]

*WHAM!* LEAF SPLOSION!

[WHOO‼!] HELL YEAH! MULTIPLE HOLES IN ONE! Look at 'em go! Go, wind! Take 'em all to the fucking ground, hahahaha!

Hold on, I always wanted to do this:

I skipped over to the frontal part of the roof, navigating through the slanting parts before I was there, facing outwards to the red shrine archway that lead to the stairs down to the foot of this mountain and I hollered the fuck out of my arrival on the very spot.

[YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼] HEAR THAT, GENSOKYO!? THAT IS ME SAYING FUCKING SALUTATIONS TO YA!

My voice literally echoed outwards this hill, I could even hear it going even further and further away. Holy shit, I even scared a few birds off the trees. How loud was I? I can't manage that frequency if I'm this injured and can't even pose like a howlin' werewolf. But nonetheless, I'm satisfied. Cross that one out of my bucket list.

Two in one day, sweet! I wonder what else is gonna make its way to be crossed out. I bet something even more insane than—

Wait a minute….

…..

….

Was it me or did I just hear a return echo? And why did it sound so…girly?

…

Oh right. I'm in Gensokyo, gotta keep in mind that shit might not be what it seems. Could be some kind of Japanese siren or somethin'. I think I might've exposed myself to some monsters nearby. Hopefully, they can't walk on Holy ground, which is this shrine, I mean. I could defend myself if I could help it but with all these injuries in me, I don't think my chances are above 50% guaranteed to let me live.

I'm just gonna hope nobody did. This shrine is owned by Hakurei Reimu, why would they attack something that belonged to an important individual if it risks getting punished?

Oh well, if something happens, then something happens. How I'm gonna deal with it, I'll let my instincts tell me what to do. That's how I like to roll, tends to always work, though with a lot of catches.

*Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.* I'm gonna calm down and clean this leaves up like a normal person. The fun's already over, I got meself a second day of being in Gensokyo tomorrow, one reason to get excited for the next morning when I head to sleep.

Alright, this parts done, especially the higher part of the roof, now we'll just deal with the last part of the roof and—

Huh…..

How'd I not notice a kid sleeping over there using the leaves as a blanket? She's literally right in the open. How'd I not see her? Also, how is she still sleeping even though I just caterwauled and wailed like some….uh….fucking hooter….or something (I don't know) just minutes ago?

Frowning in confusion, I took steady steps towards the sleeping youngster so I wouldn't suddenly slip off the slanting parts of the roof, and knelt down near her.

Let's see, coffee-brown hair tied with a red ribbon. Looked about 11-13 years old. Wearing a white blouse that looked like its sleeves are ripped out, and a Japanese-styled skirt, if my deductions are right underneath these leaves. Her wrists are shackled, and she's holding something that could only belong to a bar and not in a child's hands. What was even more unusual than that, however, was the two ox horns sticking out on either side of her head decorated with a violet ribbon on the left horn and some sort of string coiled around the right.

…..

Okay, okay, calm down, me. Calm down. She's probably one of the Youkai in this place, she probably took shelter here. Also, what's in that gourd? I took the bottle off her hands carefully without waking her up, pulled the cork out and whiffed it.

Boooweee, geez! This smells like booze! And it's so STRONG! Why the hell is she holding this!?

Okay, this kid had passed out on this rooftop and might probably wake up with a hangover if this one's being drinking last night. Sorry, kiddo but I'll be keeping this. Tied that string around there, okay good. With the gourd around my waist, I shook the young girl by the shoulder.

"….uugghhh."

I dealt with people who had a hangover, men or women alike, and my regular approach is to splash something cold in their faces (friendships be damned) but I never dealt with a drunk kid before, and I'm not sure if it's nice to just splash something on her face. I don't know how I'm going to go about this. Maybe the conventional approach would do, "Wake up, little one. This isn't the right place to sleep, you see."

*Boooshh!*

….

Holy hell, the conventional approach gave me the demonstration of her right arm power: it's a fucking typhoon! Just one swing of her small hand to swat at me and she sent a blast canon to my face, making me fall flat on my back on the roof (Ouch). It even sent all the leaves that were covering half her body into the air.

Oh my….

….She wasn't just shackled by the hands, she was chained by the waist as well. But the ends of these chains were bizarre: the end of her left arm shackle was a yellow ball, her right was a red, geometrical triangle, and there was another one chaining her hair at the end of her locks, it's weight was a blue square.

What are these, manacles designed for kindergarteners learning premature geometry? Also she's really tiny, and so skinny too. If she were to stand, she'd be somewhere way below my chest.

I patted her lower leg twice, [Come on, up! Up! Get up, ya can't just sleep on the roof like this! If you wanna sleep, do it inside the shrine.]

"A'right, a'right…." She sat up, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She looked at me with half-lidded eyes, I wonder if children can't feel hangovers because it doesn't look like she's having a headache. She then gave me a smile, "Hey, you two kinda look alike'~ I don't think I've seen the two a ya before…"

….I wonder if she's still drunk.

*Clears throat.* How do I go about this…Uh, "Hello, me and my twin brother here would like to request that you sleep inside the shrine, I'll lend you my tent if you'd like."

"Hehehe. You two're talking at the same time~ How'ja 'do that?" Yeah, she's still slurring, like a fuckin' lightweight having 5 drinks. But why does that make her look so cute? Kids shouldn't drink.

"What's your name, little one?"

"Ibuki Suika, Reimu's former roomie." Roomie? So that means she used to live here before with Master? "What're both your names?"

Is it me or am I really starting to enjoy this conversation with a drunk kid already?

"The left is Eman, the right is Letitia." Man, this feels so cheesy, but it's entertaining so I'm gonna go with it. "We are pleased to meet you."

"Hehehe." Damn, she just looks so fuggin' adorable gigglin' like that. Why am I considering letting her be drunk forever now? "You got funny clothes, yer not from around here, are ya?"

I looked at myself, then back at her. Given from the clothes I've seen from the residents, which were Yukari and Reimu, they don't wear anything modern, and this kiddo's not even close to my clothes' design. I guess my wardrobe will be a foreign thing in this paradise. I wonder what kind of theme is going on with the rest of the people's threads 'round here.

"I guess not." I gave a little bow, doing the Japanese formalities just for the sake of it. "Pleased to meet you, I'm a foreigner, originating from the place one would call the 'outside world', and soon I will take up residence in this humble land."

"Ooh, An outsider. Haven't seen one of your kind in a while~ Z'ast time I've seen one, lotta Youkai were already pickin' at his innards."

…..I'm sorry, what?

"He was a wimp so I didn't really care." She reached behind her back to reach something, then her face suddenly contorted to worry and concern, "Where's my gourd?"

The slurring is gone.

"Um, little one?"

Whoa! Just in a millisecond she was suddenly right at my face, her brown eyes losing their innocent drunkenness and instead was replaced with a furious glare, "Where's my gourd? Have you seen it? Was it with me when I was sleeping? Did you took it?" Her eyes trailed down to my waist, I followed it and the 8-shaped gourd, taped with talisman seals all over its purple exterior was tied to my waist.

I got the feeling that I did something bad, really bad.

Our hands slowly raised up, facing each other in the eyes. "Um…little one…"

"GIVE IT BACK!‼"

HOLY FUCK!

For all the life of me, I cannot believe I just dodged that. Her arm was as quick as a helicopter's rotor blade at a full speed chase yet I managed to avoid it by jumping back from my kneeling position. I don't how or why but I get the feeling that if I get hit by her I'm gonna be ending this day with more than a bruised back.

"Gimme my gourd back‼" She suddenly pounced towards me—Whoa! What the hell is she, a cheetah shaped like a little girl!?

I skittered a few steps back, careful not to slip on the slopes, "Little one, I strictly forbid you from drinking this substance until you're old as me!"

"I want my al-co-hoooll!"

Whoa! Whoa!

She swung a few fists my way, which I dodged but not the wind power that came with it. Because of that, I didn't realize how close I was to the edge of the roof and fell off.

*Sproosh!*

Fourth time. This was the fucking fourth, and Yukari's not even here.

My back doesn't hurt though, did the adrenaline halt some of the pain from entering my head?

Wait, is the grass usually this soft and spiky? Oh right, I landed on the pile of leaves I've left beside the shrine. Haha! Cleanliness For The Win! Remember kids, do your chores, it might save you from a falling death, especially if a drunk kid with horns is throwing a tantrum at you.

"Git back here!" Oh dear she broke a few tiles on the roof, and she's now dive bombing my way!

Barrel roll! The reminiscent sound of her feet hitting the grass was there, but I did not expect the ground to suddenly start shaking under her weight. What the hell is she even made of!? She even made the trees shake, she's a walking earthquake that's for sure!

"Give it back‼"

Barrel roll! She just brought her fists down on the ground and the very earth exploded on her fist, sending chunks of dirt to the air. Them skinny limbs don't got anythin' to do with muscle! If I remembered it right, there were a lot of cracks on the wood inside the shrine when I came in for the first time, now I know why.

I quickly stood up by pushing up with my hands and unwrapped the gourd string off my waist. But I'm still not giving her this—whoa!

*Booosssh!*

I bolted my head away and her fist struck where my face would have been and just went through the wall of the shrine behind me. If this kid doesn't kill me until she's exhausted, then Master will be the one to do it. She just wrecked the walls of the Gateway to the Outside World.

"Little one, I think you shouldn't have done that."

"Gimme it‼"

Run for it!

She shredded the wall by swinging her stuck fist sideways, now that part of the shrine is showing everything on the inside. I'm completely boned here once she comes back to see this.

"Little one, if you want this you're gonna have to answer me one question!"

"Waaahhh!" She literally going crazy just by losing her beer here. She swung her fist my way and another wall of the shrine is busted. "Give me my gourd!"

Okay~ Run for the clearing of the backyard~ Do~do~dodo~ I hate this situation! A fucking kid is gonna kill me!

"Kid!" Finally, the quicker word for this little tantrum. "Just answer me this one question then I'll give it to—"

"GIMME MAH GOURD‼‼" She's not listening~

She power jumped to my direction with a shoe aimed towards my face. I dive rolled out of the way—OW! Okay, bad idea! I shouldn't have done that. That hurt me more! I just yelped like a bitch and the sound of a tree being knocked over tells so many things that I don't even have to look. I looked up to see an upside down Suika and she's holding a tree shaped object and heaving it over her—

"HUUWAAAA!" I barrel rolled out of the way again and the tree smashed against the grass where I once was, shaking the earth all around me, sending pieces of damaged wood in several directions. [Just how strong are you, kid!?]

"EEeeyyaaaahhh!" She swung again the tree vertically on me and I jumped for dear life, not caring about the perfect roll. She's carrying a fucking tree like a baseball bat, for fucks sake! She's literally gonna turn me into a fucking kebab!

No choice, gotta throw it back! [Here, ca—Waaaaa!‼]

*CRUSH!*

…..

The tree had a broken branch, probably from the first impact it received did it lose its shrub. Its lost end became pointed, good enough to make it a spear if I sever it from the tree. I nearly got impaled by the neck by it. The tree is right beside me, a few of its branches nearly crushing me, pinning me down but not entirely hurting me, including the pointed one. I was just covered by the shrubs. I was lucky that the branches haven't killed me. While I'm still alive, I don't think the nearest building did. Because I heard something get broken as soon as this piece of nature struck.

The tree is lifted up, Suika is readying another blow. Without any more words I threw her precious gourd back to her. It's kinda funny for a second what her face looked like when she saw the bottle coming towards her, it was like throwing a treat to a dog, and her face was very similar to the expression they make whenever. Without any more violence she threw the tree over her shoulder like a potato sack, sending it flying over the trees (oh my fucking goodness, wow) and creating a loud crash upon its impact before she picked up the bottle from the ground.

Pulling the cork out she slammed the lid to her mouth and chugged.

*Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.*

Uh…..

*Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.*

…..This kid…..

*Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.*

….really loves her juice.

*Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.*

…..

*Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.*

How much is inside that thing? That sounded like fuckin'…5 liters worth of chugs down there, how much could that tiny frame of hers even carry?

"*Pop* Puaaahhh!" She drank that thing for more than 20 seconds without inhaling any oxygen. Like, what the hell? She turned to me, "Hey, Retisha~! Where the hell's Eman~?"

….Is she some kinda reverse drunk or something? She's not seeing my twin anymore now that she's pissed (or re-pissed?). I could still stand, but I nearly got eviscerated just a few seconds ago, I'm still shaken. I nearly got fucking crushed by a fucking tree, and a tiny ass kid with horns was the one holding it. My adrenaline is still pumping and everything's moving a little in slow-motion (or at least it does to me).

Okay, gotta stand up and apologize to the kid. I'm gonna have a lot of explaining to do, especially when Master comes back. Looks like rest day's gonna take a fucking while.

I just forgot that this is Gensokyo. Common sense had pretty much fucked off, kids here can drink alcohol, apparently. Due to the adrenaline, I could stand up real quick without even feeling the pain on my back, but I know that once the rush wears out, I'm going to start screaming like a total weboo on heat.

Walking with a little limp, I finally was stood beside her seated form, "C'mere, Retisha~! Drink with me for a bit~, why not tell me some stories from the outside world, eh?" She patted the ground next to her. The aggression and ape-shit anger from earlier no longer present, she apparently switched to a mood where she is willing to share her beer with me now that her juice is in her hands.

That's one reason never to take it away from her ever again.

"Little one," Damn, I really am unprepared for this place. I made the first mistake upon seeing the third person to meet in this crazy land. "I'm—"

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE SHRINE!?"

Oh no.

I turned to the Priestess of this shrine that was suddenly at the left side of the shrine and she looked absolutely shocked at the sight of her shrine absolutely fucked-over. The tiles on the roof was slightly mangled thanks to the kid's massive steps, the left walls was busted open, and the back part of the shrine is beyond fucked because of the tree that Suika slammed. It's literally broken, a few pieces of wood scattered around it. At least half the porch is okay, nothing worse for the wear.

But I don't think she won't mind those details in the least bit. Instead of cleaning up this place, I just made it worse.

Reimu is walking towards the both of us with the stick of death in hand.

I'm. So. BONED!

"Hey, Reimu~! Wanna join the party?"

*Whack!*

Uh—

*Whack!*

Huuaaa!

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"I'm terribly sorry, Priestess Reimu."

"Reimuuu, that was mean!"

I swear, there was no way she was trying to break me, she was trying to break that stick (actually called a gohei) with my head. I'm genuinely amazed that it didn't even break with the amount of force she threw. I mean, I got a fucking migraine here! This fucking hurts!

"Seriously, how did this happen!?" She snarled, pressing a little too hard on my back with her thumb, "I was gone for 30 minutes and the two of you just screwed over the place!" Aack! Watch where you're pressing that! I think she's making the bruises worse than it should be. "Seriously, you outsiders. One after another, always something I gotta work my back on. The first thing they do once they're out of my sight, they get into trouble in the first 5 minutes. And you, you're not even outside of my shrine!"

Okay, looks like I ended up being part of the list of people who had been riling her up the first time they got here. My chance for a good impression on my hostess: all fucked.

"The fault is all mine. I have nothing to say." I pleaded, trying to hold down a groan from escaping my throat as she massaged my back with too much force than necessary. She's not really massaging me, is she? Maybe she's just making it worse out of spite. I'd get it if she feels that way but come on! "I was too ignorant to realize that Suika here is older than she seems."

"Suika is an oni; a Youkai. Of course she'd live longer than a human."

Oni? As in 'demon'? Why was a 'demon' from hell laying her foot on a shrine, which was relative to that of a holy ground due to the god present in this place?

Ack! This thinking is making my head hurt, probably from the new lump and extra bruising, in courtesy of Master's gohei. I'll leave that thinkin' for later. Don't want any nosebleeds anytime.

"Seriously, what have you been doing while I was out?" She still sounds pissed.

"I was cleaning the premises in return for giving me shelter. I'm sure you noticed the piles of grasses in some areas." Ow! Another pounding headache. Head, I don't know how you survive that, but props to you for holding up well. Now please sit down and take it like a man! The master can't stand your whining! "I was about to end the cleaning after sweeping the remains off the rooftop."

"What are you even doing on the roof?"

Good question, why the hell was I on the roof? Why am I even cleaning that part of the shrine? The leaves can just fly off the edges by the wind or by rain, why didn't I think of that sooner?

"Reasons." I rubbed my head a little, ow…"I ended up angering little Suika here afterwards."

"'ey~!" The drunky waved her beer with a smile, "It's alright, as long as I get my drink, it's all good~" She slurred, though she kept a hand on her bandaged head but she looks none the worse for wear.

At least she can take a beating to the head, given her species. Even with those horns on her head, she doesn't look as hideous as a demon would be. She looks really cute with that childlike body.

"Hey, Retisha." Ugh, I gotta correct her on that name. "Where's your twin, Eman?"

*Snickers* I don't know why but this kiddo is starting to grow on me, especially with how drunk she is right now. "You were intoxicated, little one. I had no twin. My real name is Letisha, Eman. If that's hard to say, just call me Eman."

"Okay, Eman~" Bottoms up, she goes, chugging the bottomless pit gourd.

"At least you two became friends, and you didn't mess the shrine too much, I won't make this hard on you." I wonder if she would have dislocated my spine had I exploded this entire building. But I've seen enough craziness for one day to even figure that out, I need to rest me tired head soon. "By the way, where's my broom?"

…..Oh.

"I think I left it on the rooftop, I'll get it for you afterwards."

"Oh no." Eyow! HEY! That fucking hurt, Reimu! "You're back looks so messed up and you look like you're about to fall apart." No joke, I really feel like falling over and sleep for a hundred years. "You're going to rest in that tent you got over there after this."

I just sighed deeply, no objections.

"Ne, Eman~"

Yes, Suika? Your face have gotten redder than it was moments ago.

"You look kinda young, how old're ya?"

….Really? How 'bout you, you could probably be 130 years old with that 13 year old body of yours.

"I am young, I'm still 19 years old." And I completely forgot what month it is today, when's my birthday? "What of you? How old would a childish Youkai like you be?"

"I've been kickin' for a millennium and prolly drinkin' for another one!" I don't know why but listening to her was almost funny. I have never heard a drunk kid talk like that before. Also, she's a thousand years old? Damn, how did your body not grow from that? She chugged some more, then she faced me again, "Joo drink, Emen?"

Ahem, I'll let that one pass for today—ow! Gently please, Reimu! My back is hurt enough, can't have it being messed up anymore, 'specially when you're the one healing me. "I am a wine drinker, Little One. Forgive me if I cannot accept your offering of alcohol but I hope that doesn't separate us from being friends. I can be your chatmate if you so desire, I may have stories to share, outside world origin if you fancy."

"Really?" She gave me a big grin, showing off some long incisors there. Damn, look at them Youkai teeth. "Since when joo got here?"

"An hour prior to now. Let's just say that I went through great pains to come here. So much running, so much jumping—"

"He chased Yukari from the outside world and ended up here as a result." Reimu supplied in my mid-sentence with a disinterested voice.

Hey, I was gonna say that!

Suika's eyes glimmered with interest, sitting up a little more straighter, "Ooh…." I can tell you want the details just by looking at ya. "Keep talkin'." She commanded, lounging on her side, propping her head up with her hand while the other held the booze. "How'joo find Yukari, eh? Woman can't get seen that easy, 'specially when outside, no matter where she is."

Usually unseen, you say. Is that so? "Coincidence, perhaps?" I'm not sure. If Suika's to be believed, then I don't know how I found Yukari suddenly coming outta that portal on the roof. "I was indeed….agitated when I saw her—a black eye with ribbons on the edges suddenly appearing from thin air and her stepping out of it as if it were a carriage. I have never saw that happen in my life." I admit that I was really frozen when it happened, I couldn't move out of my shock, it was like my entire world had just took a 180 and then it got flipped sideways. I didn't know if I was really starting to go insane or something.

"Yeah, that's you outsiders. Always freakin' out at somethin' tha' ushually happens in Gensokyo." She drew the gourd to her lips and chugged some more, taking what seemed like a liter's worth of booze in before asking, "How'dja get here? Yukari pull ya in?"

Uuuh…"More as if I came in the fashion of a stowaway. I fell from a building, I had Yukari in my arms that time, and I got teleported along with her, which brought me here in the process." I patted my shoulder, "If you come over here and look at my back, you will see the consequences of my actions."

"How high did you fall exactly? The way your back is, it looked like you fell really high." Reimu asked.

Good deduction, though would you please be gentler with your massages now? Can't maintain that smooth voice of mine forever, y'know? "A hundred meters or so…" It could be a little bit higher than that if I remember it right, like a hundred 110 or so but I'll go with 100. "Maybe even higher if I consider the part where I fell inside Yukari's dimension almost endlessly, do not even think of asking me how I survived. I cannot answer it myself. My head even suffered collision to the ground."

"Hmm…." Suika looked impressed by the knowledge, even narrowing her eyes at me with a lot of interest in the eyes and a growing smirk. "…I think yer in for a helluva time in Gensokyo, Em'n."

I nodded, "I know. The Real World's ways are not Gensokyo's ways, I know what to expe—"

"Not what I meant!" Suika suddenly snapped at me, chugging a short amount from her gourd. "Yukari never gets seen by 'ny outsidah 'nless she wants to. I think she pulled you in here on purpose!"

….um, "Excuse me?"

"She means your life's going to be a living hell as long as you're here." Reimu explained, "Whenever Yukari pulls somebody in Gensokyo, she's literally plotting something, and it's always something not good." ACK! Why'd you squeeze my shoulders like that!? That hurt! "You should've went back to your world when you had the chance. Now you're going to be dragged around left and right by her without mercy."

…..Are you saying all this was predetermined? Like, I was made to chase her all those 3 months as some sort of test to see if I was compatible to Gensokyo's climate? Am I somebody special enough among the other outsiders to be actually involved in the Creator of Gensokyo's plans?

I don't have a good feeling with that, but do I have a choice? I chose to stay, and I pretty much sealed my fate the sooner I did. What else could I do? I bet that even if I try to defy what Reimu or Suika is saying, I'd still be played without knowing it.

In that case….

"I'm not afraid." I got a raised eyebrow from Suika and a stop of the massages from Reimu. "I mean, why not?"

"Eman." Uh oh. Reimu's voice suddenly turned steely, and very cold. "You. Might. DIE. Do you hear me? Yukari is never going to think about your well-being at all. Whatever she's thinking, she would use your death as a stepping stone to her plots, she wouldn't even let your soul go to rest, she'd do something to sway you into her hands if you're even slightly reluctant, and you just say 'why not'?" Okay, you really do not sound happy there, Master. "Are you some kind of suicidal maniac who just doesn't know what's coming for him until it's too late?"

…..

You should not have said that, Master. You just sealed my own fucking fate, you just said the S word, now I'm going to be stubborn as fuck for my own goals. Hate me if you want but that's me you're talkin' to.

"What else could you have me do? Go back to the outside world? You know that I will not have the will to do that. Besides, haven't you said it already, I am playing into Lady Yukari's hands already now that I decided to stay in Gensokyo?" I dare you, Master, to say otherwise. "That means: No matter what I'll do, the result will always land in her favor." And just to reassure you, just so you don't have to waste your precious time on me, "You can spare yourself from having concerns for me. This cannot be the first time I have been manipulated for someone's ends." People like to dare me on stunts that was virtually impossible to do before, and I made them reconsider what the meaning of 'impossible' is afterwards when it's me (gimme all yer money, bitches!). "And life-risking situations are not strangers to me. I greet them with open arms, and I always come out alive. Maybe a little bit scathed but I will be come out alive."

I turned my head to look at her over my shoulder (not that I could but you get me), "Why don't I let myself be swayed by her just to see for myself just how unforgiving is Gensokyo to people who hasn't seen it for what it truly is, hmm?" With them Youkai around, I doubt all them would like to shake hands with me the sooner they see me like Suika here. Yukari did warn me that not everybody's as nice as her (unless that's what she wants me to believe so it could benefit her plans or control my actions but eh), "A hands-on experience tops a theoretical approach, and I find myself appealed by the prospect." Because I could get to see some monsters in the flesh, oh so exciting!

I faced forward, looking at nowhere in particular, "If you are indeed concerned for me, then I doubt Yukari would do anything that could potentially kill me. She would earn your ire otherwise. Maybe I'll get hurt or damaged in some way but I have faith that Yukari won't do anything like that as long as you're concerned."

I held back from saying that I'm willing to be played because it makes me feel useful. I got many capabilities in my mind, and I barely get a chance to use 'em every day because of my past life. If Yukari gets me to use 'em in her plans, then fine with me. Plus, I'm willing to put into practice some of them while I'm with Master too. Cleaning is one of them, many more I'll show later on.

A little silence came in, giving Reimu time to contemplate for my words. She probably thinks I'm some kind of idiot, letting myself be played by the person who she knows very well is up to no good, and that's justifiable, but I'm letting myself be played here, so no one is to blame but me. She warned me so she can blame me for all I care if anything happens. If I get hurt, my fault. I nearly get killed, my fault. In other words, it's all on me.

"You're an idiot. An even bigger idiot than all the other outsiders who came before you. At least they had the mind to be careful instead of being willingly manipulated like some tool. But you," I sense you shaking your head there, "I never met an outsider like you, ever."

I smile at your comment, Master. Why not take it as a first time for everything, eh? "Then that means you will not have any mental work to do. No need to be concerned for me, if anything happens the fault will be all mine." Besides, "It does not mean I plan to be her pawn forever, you see. I will take initiative at some point, and then have the will to defy or obey."

I heard her sigh, a sign of defeat. She probably gave up on me, "Outsiders." She muttered, continuing the massaging.

I gave a little chuckle. I'm gonna do some favors for Reimu just so her impressions on me could get a little higher. Maybe not tomorrow but I'm gonna promise some usefulness while I'm here. Now with somebody to boss me around, I'm happy.

"Now then," Let's get back to the little drunky, "Suika, how long have you been Reimu's housemate before you left?"

"A couple o months!" A pause for a bottom's up, "I now live in the skies~ Had to beat up some celestial for it. Some humility ought'a set that brat right."

…..

"….In the skies?"

"Yeah. Heaven! Don'tcha outsiders know heaven? Iz a place where all the serioushly-righteous-stuck-ups go to when they die! A hermit's final destination!"

…..

Malware detected. Verified as 'Mind Fuck'. Brain Short-Circuit Eminent. Please turn to the nearest maintenance unit for sanity repairs.

"'Ey! Emun! Is yer head in the clouds now!? Say something! Why you freezing up!?"

A demon in the heavens!? And Heaven is literally tangible!? WHAT THE FUCK!? I..I….! What the hell!? I mean, I'd get that it's because it's Gensokyo but this is too much! Heaven is LITERALLY reachable!? And Suika, an oni, an eastern variant of the demon species of hell, just managed to have a piece of land through extortion!?

Gensokyo, this is TOO much, like, what the hell!?

"I….seeeeeeeee….."

Holy shit, I think handling Gensokyo is gonna be as easy as getting a woman. It's not possible!

"Okay, hold still. I'm going to apply the ointment. This will hurt a lot, so grit your teeth." Thanks for the reassuring heads up, Master.

UUrrkk‼ Yeah…! She's pressing it way too hard…! What the hell did you do to the last patients before!?

At least it feels good on some areas, and it feels like she's being careful too. She's kneading hard, but I could feel that she's making sure nothing gets worse than it is. Plus it feels kinda….methodical, her movements are not amateurish. The ointment made her smooth hands slippery too and….huh….it doesn't hurt anymore. What kind of ointment is she using, or what kind of movement is she motioning with her hands while massaging me?

Oh~ This feels nice, even the spikes of pain feels so good as well. Yeah, yeah, that's the spot right there. A little higher on your left hand, please. Add a little more pressure, oh y~e~a~h~

"There, done." Already? Aw…

She patted my back much more gently this time and walked away with the small bottle of ointment to the other room.

"Thank you," I folded the now-dirtied shirt in my hands, now I'm gonna be a lot busier on the Monday. Laundry, exercise, then maybe adjusting to the land here. I'm gonna have to pray a massive lot on Sunday, a real lot. But for now, I need rest. "Well, I guess I will retire for now. Advanced good night, little Suika." It is still mid-afternoon after all, there's still a couple more hours before nightfall, but I need my rest now. Nothing more. My tent really looks like a naked lady right now. "I won't be waking up until tomorrow."

"Hehe~ Advanced good morning, Eman~" Aw, shucks. "Drink with me tomorrow, tell me some stories of the outside world, yeah?"

Yeah….how 'bout no? If you got wine, then we have a deal.

"Two days from now, Eman." Reimu's voice brought me to look behind me, she stood there with the broom on her hand. She probably flew up to grab it, a piece of cake for her it seemed. "Once your back fully heals in two days, help me fix the shrine."

Laundry, exercise, adaptation, and carpenter work. What else could I ask for? This is fine for me.

"As you wish, Priestess Reimu." I walked with weak steps towards my room, folded shirt in hand, uncaring for the fact that I was shirtless in front of two women. I need my rest, and I'm not going to sacrifice the last of my energies for the sake of modesty.

Tent zipper already open, within is a set of clothing piled at the end. See that pile? That's my pillow. Blanket? I'm used to not having one. I think the night wind and evening cool will work for me, slowing the bruising on my back when it comes. I rested my head on the pile of shirts, my front laying on the hard floor, keeping my back from touching anything, sleep was too quick to overtake me.

Screw dinner, sleep is 1st priority now.

….

I fell on my back 4 times, became a wreck in less than 1 hours, then I indirectly wrecked the shrine of my temporary guardian 30 minutes later, got myself a little drunken friend, then I found out that I might be involved in something dangerous just by staying here.

What a first day in Gensokyo. Looks like rest time will have to wait.