Steward Of Paradise At Work

by Tall-Gothic-Guy

I didn't come here to meet shrine maidens or monsters. I didn't come here to erect a cross. No one even told me about magic being a thing here. Actually, I didn't expect myself to be here at all. I was simply chasing a woman who created eye portals. But it beats being a runaway thief. I just wish I knew sooner, that this place will never give me a break, not even God...Bring it on.

5. Gensokyo Tours: Marisa Edition

I swung my leg over the branch until both are on one side and I let myself slip off.

Umph, land. Hah.

No rush, no nothing. Just plain boring. Not even sleeping on that tree did me a little something. I ain't gonna waste away my phone battery for some music jamming either, there ain't any electricity 'round here so I gotta conserve that stuff. The wind and fresh air around this shrine doesn't do much for me except give me a peaceful environment, which doesn't do much either.

Reimu pretty much had enough of sweeping and just settled to sit in the porch of the backyard with me. She placed her elbows to her knees and rested her chin to her hands, I just leaned back while supporting myself with my hands to stay upright.

….

Yeeep. Pre-tty bo-ring. The last three days had been something, and each one had involved me getting hurt. I fell on my back too many times on the 1st day, 2nd day had me breaking my entire skeletal system to shit, then yesterday I got attacked by Suika, was forced to fix back the backyard along with her and had to get rid of the wood we messed up. And now, everything's lacking some excitement. Just me and Reimu sitting around doing nothing, not even tea in-between us to drink. If we drank that stuff, I'd bet that we'll just get even more bored. This silence is as peaceful as it is boring.

Maybe I'm just too used into moving my body a lot, especially before I came to Gensokyo, and never actually took a moment of quiet like this.

Sigh.

"Where's Suika, by the way?" I asked.

"Gone to get sake for the party." She simply replied, "Knowing her, she'd probably be back at the time of the party, like always."

Speaking from experience I see.

"Really? Aw, that's too bad. She was quite the company."

She gave me a sideways glare, "I don't think I could trust you two together in my shrine anymore."

I chuckled awkwardly, "Come now, I have already apologized. Besides, we didn't actually break the shrine apart, did we?"

"Close enough." She sharply retorted, "The party's to be held in the backyard, and I don't want anybody complaining about uneven ground because of you two."

Oops, hehe. Didn't consider that, I wasn't really informed beforehand where the venue is anyway. "I apologize again. I'll venue Suika's destructive games away from the shrine in the future."

"Hm." She turned to me fully, "And you better get a house in the village sooner. Look here: I'm thankful for you helping me with my chores and all, but I can't provide enough for the both of us, and this place isn't ideal for you to live in. It's hot in the summer, it's frickin' cold in the winter—I know that much but this is all I got, and I could handle it all on my own. Another person'd just be in the way."

For a moment, the suggestion kinda saddens me. Even for just three days, it's been fun around here with her. I've been enjoying myself in ways that I haven't experienced for a long time since I pitched my tent in the shrine, am I just gonna walk out of here like that?

…..I shouldn't be selfish here. It sucks (like, a lot) but I think she's right. This shrine just looks worn-down at a single glance, despite how simple it looks. It's very self-explanatory that the manager of this place doesn't have much to offer except simple (but awesome) tea, and she's trying to survive on her own and provide for herself. Plus, she's suggesting it for me, and for her own sake as well. I'm basically starting to leech off her food supplies, which is something I didn't even intend to do in the first place. She could have just starved me for 3 days and I'd still smile.

But whatever, for her sakes and for mine, I gotta listen to her. "You have a point, soon I'll find a proper residence." I bowed to her sincerely, "Belatedly, I apologize for not being able to keep my promise as to be nonexistent on your provisions."

"Mm, it's fine." She just waved me off, not at all bothered, "I admit it was kinda fun with you around. Not a moment too boring."

Aw, that's the sweetest thing you ever said to me. "You're welcome, Priestess." And secretly I say: Thank you, Master.

"Hm." Wish you'd give me a nicer response but I'll take it.

I pulled my knees close to my chest, resting my chin atop them while I hugged them close, looking at the general nature scenery in front of me, watching the trees sway and dance with the wind, some patches of grass joining in. The sight kinda makes my vision blurry and my mind hazy, sleepy even, but I shook my head and clawed at my leg to avoid drooping.

I could do some flips or do some capoeira dancing but I'm not really in the mood for it anymore, and I regularly do my warm-ups early in the morning. I don't even have the desire to showoff to Master too, and I bet tree climbing isn't gonna be fun anymore now that I already did it.

Damn it, this is way too boring without something trying to kill me or wrecking the shrine.

"I don't like this."

….or not?

"Pardon?" I asked.

"I mean the party. I don't like it."

I frowned, "Oh, why not? A party should be merrily and exciting, yes? If there is alcohol, anyone can enjoy themselves." Though, I won't drink. One accident is enough to teach me a lesson about drinking and running at the same time.

"Well, that's on the plus side, but," She sighed, "It'll just scare off the worshippers."

Scare them? Oh yeah, this is a shrine after all. Normally, people'd be coming here and praying to their gods, in Shinto standards. So far, I haven't seen anybody else come here to pray since I arrived. "Why would a party scare away the Shintoist men and women?"

She shook her head, "It's not the party, it's the people who are coming is the problem."

Oh, is this a 'bad friends make bad reputation' kind of thing? She did say her enemies are coming over too, maybe she's getting a bad name because of them, but I don't know the specifics, "Who are the guests?"

"The people who I've beaten up in every Incident. Youkai, ghosts, and a few others. Now the worshippers are not gonna trust this shrine the more they keep coming here."

'Ghosts'? 'Youkai'? Why are those two things coming together in this party, and what the hell? Ghosts? "I mean no offense but why should the Youkai and…ghosts be invited as well?"

"My question, too." She grumbled, kneading her forehead, "This is something Yukari told me to plan. I would've said no but she promised a lot of food so…."

You got bribed by 'Food'? Excuse me? I know that I'm not one to talk but really? Now I really wanna know just how scarce your food supply is, Reimu, and how much I have leeched out of you without me knowing.

"I resolve Incidents as my job, and a bored Youkai is usually the mastermind of it all. When I managed to exterminate who was behind it, we party afterwards to celebrate. What was wrong, however, is that the mastermind joins in as well. And that happens almost every time. Now they make it a habit to make my shrine their usual celebration spot. I tried to kick them out whenever they come here but they just won't."

…..Riiight.

That was all in a nutshell, but I got the gist of it. I could get the logic as to why no human worshipper is coming here.

As mentioned before days prior, not all Youkai like Suika or Yukari are reasonable and the humans that exist in this land are naturally afraid of them. If they keep seeing Youkais coming in this shrine, of course they'd get paranoid and thought their shaman had gotten mad to even invite Youkai.

Hold on, I want to know this, "How many are coming, if I may ask?"

She sighed, "I don't know." Oh, she doesn't sound happy there, and taken from her sharp tone, I think it may be a lot. "There were so many Incidents that I could barely remember what they've been doing in their escapades of destruction."

"Question: how many incidents or Youkai-related problems have you solved?"

She turned to me and smirked, "Guess."

Um…. "More than 500?"

"Wrong. That's ¼ than my count."

…..

…..

"Hello? Anybody there?" Master called, waving a hand in front of my face.

I should've expected it. "I should have known. You are a problem solver of Gensokyo and you have to be strong in order to resolve anything."

She nodded in agreement, "Correct, and since Gensokyo depends on me, I have to be stronger than anybody else just to make sure I don't die and bring it down with me. One of the wonders of being this world's Shrine Maiden, I guess."

Damn. Extreme info. Little mindfuck moment there for a second. I'm right next to the most competent Cop that ever lived in the entire planet. Why aren't there anybody donating to their savior? I mean, Come on! It's unfair! She's working her ass off for them and yet their leaving her donation box empty. If anything, I'd pay in their ungrateful place.

"But doesn't the Spell Card System deny dying and extreme injuries?" I asked.

"Well, of course, but it pays to be prepared." The air shifted around us, now she looked supremely serious. "There will be a mastermind who doesn't play by the rules."

That had left an omen on me, and if it was possible, she might end up having no choice but to kill the mastermind in order to resolve an incident.

That…..sounds…..scary.

I hope that time doesn't come.

"Is it safe to assume that you have your own personal complaints in your current occupation?" There's gotta be, being the life force and the peacekeeper of the entire land must be a really tiring thing to do.

"Yep, I got a lot more than I could count…." She turned to me and shrugged, giving me a lopsided grin of resignation, "…but what're you gonna do? It's my job anyway, so I got no choice. Plus, I don't think anybody's gonna do a better job than me."

Huh….obligated to the job, now that's quite a downer in my opinion. But it looks like Reimu here's gotten over her problems and is bound to her duties. In a way, I kinda admire it. To watch over the entire land on your own, it's more or less like an act of sacrifice (which is something I find respectable). She clearly doesn't want to do it but is doing it anyway because it's her job.

That alone earns plus points from me. If I could give ya root beer, I would've done it if I have one, even if it's my last one (not that I drink root beer at all).

Oh, I got myself a way to keep occupied.

"Say, Priestess Reimu? If you do not mind, would you please take me around Gensokyo for a while? I only know this part of the land alone."

She placed her finger to her chain, "Yeah, I guess you should, that way you could go to the human village as well and get yourself a home. You never actually went anywhere at all."

"Except for the Place of Worship just down the mountain." I added. "So, will you indulge me in this one request? It's the least I could ask for."

Reimu looked kinda reluctant, and I could easily recognize it. That's the look of somebody who was ordered to do something but doesn't wanna. Well, it's fine if she says no. I could ask her for a substitute otherwise.

"Fine…"

Hmm, fair enough.

"Yo, Reimu! Came to visit-ze!" Whoa, the witch came by.

She instantly smiled. Got saved by the hollering blond bell, did ya, Master? "Speak of the devil." She turned to the newly-arrived witch. "Hey, Marisa. What are you visiting for?"

"It's so boooring!" She grumbled, hopping off her broom and landing to the ground right before us. "I got nothin' to do! I mean, sure, I got some new stuff to check out back in my crib but I don't feel so into it right now!"

"Well, you're in luck." She hopped off the porch and stepped closer to her, "Why don't you take Eman around? You know, tour him around Gensokyo."

She turned to me. I turned to Reimu, I turned to Marisa again and simply shrugged. "Oh, of course! I got nothin' better to do anyway!" Well, that was fast. Yay. "Might as well make do before my boredom kills me-ze."

I stood up from the porch, "Well, thank you very much, Priestess Reimu." I bowed, then I turned to Marisa, "If I have to presume, we will be taking your broom as our transport."

"Yep!" She agreed energetically, "I betcha don't ride yer brooms in the outside world, do ya?"

Pfft. "Absolutely not." And I will not miss the chance to ride something with a 50% chance of falling death. "I'll take the liberty for a ride."

"Then, what're we waiting for? Let's go-ze!" She hurried, setting her broom back to hover mode and immediately sitting on it.

"Give me a few seconds. I won't be long." I requested before hopping up the porch and running back to my room. When I got what I needed, my woolly black jacket that Suika returned and had not spilled any beer unto, and my Knight-Templar (a Templar cross) tubular bandana around my neck. [Alright. Ready the flight.] I prompted, jogging over to the broom.

"Uh, I'm gonna take that as a 'Let's go'." Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just hold your broom steady until I get a proper horseback position. There we go. Damn, your hat's blocking my view. "Ready?"

Come on, just take this thing off already! "Go!"

"Oh ho! A speed freak, eh?" Slowly, she raised the broom high from the ground. This broom is actually flying, all under the control of Marisa. I was unable to process it all for a second, and I couldn't resist the smile forming on my face.

"You're the first outsider I've seen to get excited about riding Marisa's broom." Reimu commented, a mixture of being impressed or simply saying 'are you suicidal' on her face. "Usually, they get nervous."

I got my answer to that, "Because they are not strong."

"Yeah, well they got the ride anyway-ze!" Marisa supplied.

It feels completely different when I'm riding it instead of looking at it go like two days ago. While riding it, I could actually feel just how wrong this was. This thing is literally manipulated by magic, this thing shouldn't even be possible, but it's really happening! This is the best!

When we met the height just below the rooftop, I'm sure this is going to be the take-off. "Okay! And we're off-ze!"

*Booosshh*

I slipped.

*Crash!*

….

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE THROWING ME TO THE FLOOR ON MY BACK!?

"You should've held on, you know." Master told, looking down on me indifferently.

"I didn't expect her to just go off like that…!" I growled amidst the pain; fucking hell, why…!? Why'd she just fucking blast off like a fucking bullet….!? My head didn't hit the floor but fucking hell, this still hurts my back! How many times was this!?

"Sorry! I blasted off too fast! You should've held on-da ze!" My driver advised just above me as she floated down just beside the Priestess.

"It would be sensible to start out slow." Reimu pointed out to Marisa, giving her a disapproving look. "He could've gotten hurt."

"Well yeah, but he said 'go' so I just go." She defended.

"I did not say 'spontaneously', thank you very much." I raised an open hand up. Master promptly took it and lifted me up to my feet. Ouch. That'll hurt my back for a while.

"You okay?" Reimu asked.

"Yes, yes. This doesn't hurt as much as before." I assured, she then began slapping my back, probably to dust off the dirt that got stuck on my landing. That was humiliating. "Thank you." I turned to Marisa. "Second attempt. Do not instantaneously speed off like a bullet, this time, yes?"

"Right, get on." She patted the spot of the shaft behind her, which I promptly took and held on to both her waist and shoulder. "Okay. Slow start, here we go!"

Okay, levitating off the ground again. Then…. Slowly, we began to move forward. The wind slowly began to pick up and bat at our faces, making wooshing sounds at my ears as we increased in speed. I looked behind me, the shrine is getting as small as a chair in the distance. Taking a risk, I removed the hand holding Marisa's shoulder and waved to Master that still stood there.

She didn't wave back, she simply walked back to the shrine.

Hmm.

Looking down on the ground. We are literally 150 meters off the ground and rising. Looking around me, so much forests and land is passing by, and the size of this place. So much green, and life, and full of beauty.

This.

Is.

Great!

[WWHHOOOOOOOOOOO‼‼]

"Well, somebody's enjoyin' himself!" The driver hollered amidst the roaring wind.

[What else!?] "This is amazing!" I replied, pulling my bandana up with a freehand to cover my mouth. Easy breathing, can't really hold on to oxygen with a rush this fast. [YYEEEAAAAAHHH‼] And she just increased the speed of this fucking thing even more, FUCK YEAH! SPEED IT UP, GIRL!

All around Gensokyo is full of green and mountains, so full of life than I ever thought. Just like an untouched island, though I noticed a dirt roads and clear grasslands. Let's see, what else does Gensokyo has? Oh, I see a village. And there's people in it. HUMAN people! So that's where they were. It's quite a walk from there to the shrine, looks a 30 minute walk, but I can take it.

"That's the human village." Marisa informed in a shout. "A place where all the humans are majorly at."

"Obviously." I replied flatly, though the smile still hasn't left my face. Not that Marisa would notice underneath the handkerchief—what the? "Um, Ms. Marisa?"

"…."

"MARISA!"

"Whuh!" WHOA! DON'T JOLT THIS THING IN MID-AIR! I COULD'VE FELL! "What the hell!? Don't yell at me like that!"

"I think I'm weighing down the back." The broom is slanted downwards on the back, I'm slipping down the bushy end and I think I'm pulling Marisa along with me.

"Oh yeah, right." She peered over my shoulder, which I leaned away to let her get a better look. "Come on, transfer to the front! Move your ass!"

Wha-wha-wha!?

"Are you being serious!? While we're airborne!?" And in a flying speed bypassing 150 mph too!?

"Duh! Why else would you have it!? On the ground!?"

"Obviously!" Was that mountain there before? OH SHIT, WE'RE FLYING TOWARDS IT! "AAHH!‼ MARISA! PULL UP! PULL UP! MOUNTAIN IN VIEW! MOUNTAIN INCOMING‼"

"WHAT!?" She looked at the front, "Whoa!"

[HOLY FUCK!‼] She actually pulled up, and I would've fallen off had I not held on. We're literally right next to the side of the mountain. So close I could fucking touch it.

"AH! Too tight! Too tight!" Marisa screamed, trying to pull my arm that was firmly wrapped around her waist off. "Eman! Loosen up!"

Lose grip and risk falling, or hold grip and risk the two of us crashing on the face of the mountain. WHAT ARE THE ODDS!?

"There we go! Hold on!"

[Whaaaa-AAAAAAHHH!] She just did a 180 loop, and my ass literally flew off the shaft but I still haven't let go of her waist. Before we ended up being upside down, she spun our positions around and we're upright once again, finally landing myself back on the broom in-between my legs.

…..

We're floating steady mid-air, just a little distance afar from the mountain side.

We managed to be a-OK. But the current condition of my balls is….

….!

"OOoooowww!" I groaned, massaging the most valuable yet vulnerable part of my male body inconspicuously, keeping a free hand on her shoulder to keep steady. I get to fall on my ass, I could take it. I get to fall on my BACK, yeah sure, no problem. But to fall on my balls? NO WAY AM I GONNA TAKE THE DAMAGES.

Marisa was thrilled and laughing, as if she actually enjoyed the near-death experience. I would've shared it had my balls not suffered the same fate, literally. "Man, that was the best! It's been a while since I nearly died-ze!"

"The 'Best'!?" I shouted incredulously, still massaging my descendant package, "Everything went to chaos in a matter of seconds!"

"Hey!" She rounded on me on her seat, "It's somehow your fault-ze!"

"I object! You are part of the blame!" There we go, it stopped hurting. Hopefully, I could still create my young ones in the future. Anyway, as I were saying, "Who in the right mind would ask a passenger to switch to the front portion of the broom midflight, at insane speeds at that!?"

"Anybody! What, you think I would just drop down just to switch seats!?"

"Yes! That warrants a lesser chance of death!"

"…"

"…"

"AahahAhAhAhaha!‼"

[BAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!‼]

Yeah. It was fun. I just love the thrill that comes whenever I come close to death.

She and I share something in common: we had an addiction to thrill and she likes moving her body just as much, I knew that the moment she pulled off all those stunts on Sunday. Especially the raining stars. If I said that the rush of nearly shredding ourselves against the mountain was the most extreme experience ever, I wouldn't be lyin'.

"Hah!" I exhaled a good sigh, breathing some really clean fresh air. The adrenaline is still rushing in my system, but I feel fine just sitting in this broom, drifting towards anywhere like a boat without sails or an engine, "That was the best thrill ever!"

"I know, right!?" My thrill sister agreed before falling to a fit of laughter again. She calmed down her mirth and faced me again, "How're your balls?"

"Not in the best condition at the moment." I flatly said in a monotone.

"PPAAHHAHAAHAHAAHA!‼" Yeah, that's another plus to my Eman Letitia's epic-fail jokes doing its magic.

Hey, the view from here is much better. Bits of green and trees all over, just like an island untouched by society, but maintained by its natives. There are a few roads, a few grasslands, and even the biggest majority occupying all over Gensokyo is its forest. There was so much plant life in front of me than anything I ever saw in my life. Even those rice fields look maintained enough, I can see the farmers from here. I gotta say hello.

*Wave*

Yeah, I'm way too far for them to see me here. They're literally less than the size of an ant from here. And is that a mansion over there in the center of it all beside that rather misty lake? Look at all the red paintjob on that one, and it's slightly far from the Human Village. Could it be the house of their governor? Or maybe it's Yukari's abode? If it was, I wouldn't be surprised.

"Beautiful, ain't it?" Marisa asked beside me, swinging one leg over the broom until she sat on the cleaning material like a bench with ease. Actually, this feels more of a little ride on a raft than anything else, we're still drifting away from the mountain as if we're on water.

"Agreed." I replied, keeping my hold on her shoulder and did the same, keeping my other arm holding the shaft closest to the brushing end. There we go, easy as pie. Good thing I'm not afraid of heights anymore, thanks to my usual exercises on the rooftops. Sitting like this, it's kinda like we're construction workers eating sandwiches on a beam levitated high above the ground while enjoying the view, "Do you know the name of this mountain behind us, Ms. Marisa?"

"It's called 'Youkai Mountain'. The Tengu and Kappa live here, up there near the mountain top with the lake, there's another shrine just like Reimu's." Really, now? There's another shrine other than Reimu's? "It's called the 'Moriya shrine', you'd be surprised that there's a lake up there. 3 gods live in that place, one visits our shrine sometimes. The other two just stay there, drinking, wasting their lives, prolly plottin' 'nother Incident."

Okay, up that mountain had 3 gods, living and breathing and stepping in the land of the mortals, I rather not get close to them, because if I do, I hope they don't get cross with me if I did something accidently offending.

I began, "Quick question."

"Quick answer."

"I haven't asked."

"I haven't answered."

I gave her a half-hearted glare. She just snickered underneath her fist.

I began again, "Question."

"Answer."

"I didn't even ask!"

"I didn't even answer!"

I smacked her arm. She did the same to me with more strength.

Whoa!

*Grab!* Oh, thanks for the save, Marisa. "Whoa ho, careful there! Just keep your grip on my shoulder until you learn how to balance yourself-ze. I don't think I could catch you if you fell." Noted, I'll make sure to punch you with my other arm later.

"Anyway, as I were saying, what do the Tengu look like?"

"Oh, hmm…" she placed a finger to her lips, pondering, "…least I could say izzat they all have wings on their backs."

Um, too vague. "Are they humans with bird wings, like the one that came two days ago?"

"Yeah! That's what I said-da ze!" She reminded exasperatedly.

Well, excuse me, resident of Gensokyo. "Need I remind you that I'm an outsider? Strange things like magic and winged humans don't exist in my land."

"Well, you gotta get used to it soon!" She smirked sinisterly, "Yer gonna see lotsa crazy that your head's gonna explode seeing them!"

I countered her smirk with my own, "I'll take it all in stride. This is my home, after all." I then took a neutral face, "Now, what are the kappas?"

"Oh, they're the folks who deal with the technology and other stuff involving a thing called 'Electricity'." Air quote.

Wait what!? "Wait, did you say they deal with technology and electricity?" She nodded, "Do you mean they build technology just like…um, outsider gadgets and objects?"

"Yep." Yes! "They're the best builders in all of Gensokyo. If you want something normally made from the outside world, go to them. I go for a visit sometimes-ze."

"Nice." I breathed.

"I could hook you up with a friend of mine there. Be careful though, she'll bleed ya for all yer worth."

"Maybe next time, we are in a tour after all." I scooted a little closer before placing my ankle atop my knee and resting my forearm on her shoulder. I wish I could do this without holding on to her. I could do fine on the branches, but not like this, where the thing I'm sitting on is not supported by anything except the air (and we're really high from the ground).

Anyway, "May I know what that red mansion is?" I asked, pointing to the rather out-of-place mansion in the midst of a Japanese land. It looked European or western, I wonder how long it took for anyone to build it, and was there somebody non-Japanese who designed it?

"Oh, that one! One of mah friends own that place." She frowned a little in thought, "No, I think it's 'one of mah friend's friend own that place'. She's only a librarian but she does live there so I guess it counts."

"You're acquainted to one of the residents of that place? I feel envy for thee." I smiled, shaking her shoulder in admiration. "Who is the rightful owner to that grand abode?"

"Me, of course!"

…...Marisa...…

"Oh fine, her name's Remilia Scarlet, a vampire. She doesn't go out unless its night."

…

Vampire.

European mansion.

Blood red paintjob.

Romanian name.

Holy crap, a vampire living in a fancy mansion too!? Oh Gensokyo, you're really spoiling me, aren't ya, you magnificent son of a bitch! What's gonna come next, a werewolf!? Oh please let there be one!

"Um, dude? What's with the smiles there?"

Oh right, sorry. "Excuse me, I'm just fascinated and delighted that such a supernatural being exists."

She smiled, "Hehe, wait till the party comes up. Yer gonna see a whole variety of 'em." She patted my back afterwards. I did the same, careful not to fall.

I'm really looking forward to this get-together party more than anything, but I doubt that I'd get bold enough to talk to them straight out. I'm a complete stranger and it'd be embarrassing for them to talk to me that arrived not more than a week prior to the party.

I think I'll just be in the background, drinking some wine, and admire the number of species present. I only go to crowds to pickpocket them, not to socialize.

…..

Damn it.

I am so ashamed of myself.

…..

It's alright now. I'm different now. I can finally stop stealing. I can finally take it easy and be a law-abiding citizen.

"You alright there, bud?" Marisa asked, leaning down to get a look of my lowered gaze, keeping a hand to her hat to keep it from slipping.

I just gave a half-hearted smile, giving her shoulder a slight shaking, "It's alright. Just a short moment of self-contemplation." I raised my head up and looked for anywhere that meets my interest. Oh, look at that one. "That sunflower field. It looks eye-catching."

"Ooooh." A short silence, "Um, you might wanna stay outta there."

What, why? Among all flowers of the world, I like sunflowers, like, a big lot. Playing 'Plants vs Zombies' kinda got me there. My duffel bag even has a few seeds of 'em, I just didn't get a chance to plant them. "The reason being?"

"The watcher of that place is as worse as an oni losin' her booze. Just stepping there pisses her off and she'll just kill you with no word-da ze." She turned to me, a firm grimace meeting back my bewildered one. "Mark my words here, Eman. Do. Not. Go. There."

Okay, the way you said that just raises my curiosity even more. But considering the nature of the Youkais in this place, I nodded, I'll try to keep myself 500 feet away from it. Whoever is there really likes her plants and would not appreciate anybody trampling them. I understand. If those sunflowers could shoot sunflower shurikens then I could get the message faster than the internet of the computer cafe I usually visit.

"Okay. Can we fly around a little more?" I requested, "I like to have more sights to see."

"Sure. Just move your ass to the front then we can roll out without breaking yer balls again." She ordered but not without a snicker, scooting over to me and giving space on the front.

If you purposely send me crashing balls-first, I will not hesitate to do the same to you with my foot. I'll do it in mid-air if I have to!

"Okay, just hold still." Carefully, not at all tensing myself for the action I'm about to do, I placed my foot on the shaft, then the other one. Okay, I'm standing on a floating broom (except that I'm holding unto the witch for balance). That's another one down on my bucket list.

Swiveling around Marisa behind her, I placed the first foot on the area near the point of the shaft then followed up with my other foot before lowering down to a horseback stance. There we go, that wasn't so hard.

"Alright, now hold on tight. We're gonna go for a dive-ze!" I can hear the thrill-thirsty tone filling her voice.

Somehow, she infected me with the addiction. I gripped the shaft with a tight grip, brought my handkerchief mask up to cover my nose beforehand, and squinted my eyes for the incoming wind.

"GO FOR IT, MARISAAAA!" I find it even harder to hold back the billboard smile on my face.

Having my approval, she yelled to the top of her voice, "LET'S DO IT, BITCHES-ZE‼" The broom suddenly tilted downwards, and we missiled down to the forest below us in a speed somewhere between 130 mph and 140 mph and increasing.

The shrilled yell that I so wanted to scream for a long time will forever be heard throughout this place and the people of the mountain behind us as we dove to the fucking ground.

[YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!]

Then we curved upwards, the inertia making me buckle down a little on the broom until the broom was pointed frontwards once again, floating just above the forestry of one random forest. "Yeah, ya like that, Eman!?"

"MORE!" GIVE ME FUCKING MORE, FLIGHT SLAVE!

"Yer the boss!" She curved to the left, making us lean sideways towards the desired direction before the turn. I was gripping the broom so tightly I could see my knuckles getting white, I leaned forward that my chest neared the shaft of the broom, not out of fear that I was clinging unto it but because I wanted this thing to go faster than it is.

"I hope you didn't eat anything, Eman, cuz HOLD ON!" She grabbed ahold of my shoulder with a really strong (is she even a woman?) grip, and suddenly, she began to barrel roll the broom, her hold on me keeping me secure to the ride. We're a fucking drill in the sky.

[HOOOOOOLLLYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!‼!!‼!] Even though I'm screaming that, I'm literally having so much fun right now. I could even hear Marisa laughing behind me, either because she finds my reaction funny or because she's enjoying this ride with me but either way this is SO great.

When she stopped, I still hadn't stopped laughing. [HAHAHAHAHA! FOLLOW THE RIVER!] I ordered, pointing to the rather tranquil rivers in-between the forestry.

"Yessir!" This time, the flight was rather slow, which I didn't mind. Looking below as we flew over the rivers, I get to see admire some more fantastic scenery. Looking at this river, its path wriggling like a snake's body, flowing clean waters so clear I could see the very bottom and packed with a couple of boulders in the banks, it looks like an ideal zone for some river free-running. And I love river free-running.

"Let us park here." I told, "Need to rest my shoulders for a bit."

"What? Too much for ya?" I could hear her smirking behind me, though she did lower the broom close to the ground, flying towards the biggest rocky shores.

"You'll see." I don't think Marisa ever saw me do a flip before. Let's make her meet the different side of me, shall we?

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"Whoa-ho! I didn't know ya could do that!" And her reaction is so satisfying to hear.

540 kick, do the cartwheel, follow up with a backflip, then we bow. "That is all." I don't know if I showcased all that I know but I'll keep the others as a surprise. "If I had not been disabled before, I would have shown you this much earlier."

"Dude!" She giddily said, leaning off the tree she sat against on the grassy tree line, "I gotta hook ya up with China, you two might hit it off so well."

You sure seem to like to hook me up with people I haven't even met, don't ya? "Who's that?" And who the hell gets the name 'China', anyway?

"She's somebody who could do martial arts like you. She's a Youkai but she's one of the friendliest you'll ever meet-ze."

Uh huh…. "And this girl's name is….'China'?"

She curtly nodded, "Yep! Her name's China, a Youkai from China! She loves it when people call her that. Makes her remember her original hometown, y'know!"

…..Very suspicious, especially with the grin you're having.

"What kind of Youkai is she?" I asked, frowning.

This time, her expression shows much genuine confusion, "Iiiii don't know, really. I don't think she knows it herself either. She totally looks human and even acts like one I keep forgetting she was a Youkai in the first place."

A Youkai that looks perfectly human, and even acts like one? "Like Lady Yukari?" I suggested.

She shrugged but still nodded, "Well, kinda but Yukari's totally Youkai no matter how she looks."

Yeah, I knew that too. I knew from the start that she wasn't even human the first time I saw her. Like she kinda gives this kind of aura different from a human, so foreign and enigmatic that it just seeps off something….creepy and otherworldly.

"Where would this girl be? She seems to be an interesting person to meet." And she's a martial artist too, I wanna go for a spar if she's good with it.

"She's at the Scarlet Devil Mansion working as the guard of the place. Gatekeeper, accurately speakin', and she's really good at it too." She suddenly stood up, facing me with a grin, "Hey, check this out!"

Hmm?

She flopped on her front on the grass, face down with her hat hiding her entire head (damn, that thing's BIG), then she swung her legs up, raising her hips off the ground, then she supported her entire body with her legs to the air, until she kicked her elevated feet forward, flipping her body in 180 degree turn, and she was finally back into a standing position. "Ta da!"

…..huh, what a Kip up.

"That was rather uncommon." I commented, placing my hands on hips. [And quite impractical.] I added in a mutter.

"Think you could do that?" She challenged, giving me a daring smile.

"Watch." What you just did was just something try-hards would do. Check this one out.

Here we go: We do the Worm Flop, then use the momentum to raise the feet up, then raise the chest off the ground using the hands till I rose to a handstand, then flip the feet forward to a stand. Easy, under one second. [Ta da~] How's that?

"Uh uh!" She shook her head, "You gotta be still, you're not supposed to rev it up with a runnin' start-da ze."

"That Kip up of yours is impractical." I finally said it, "Believe me, that takes up more energy than the original Kip up."

"In a fight, it's gotta be cool!" She said matter-of-factly.

"Astounding performances are not the pinnacle of the fight." It's usually fist-meet-face, sometimes its foot-meets-balls, and sometimes it all ends with somebody bleeding in the mouth. Me? I make sure somebody had a crack in whatever bodily system they have before I walk away.

"That's the point, dumbass! In Spell Card fights, you gotta look cool!" She actually looked very serious here, "When fighting with Spell Cards or danmaku, beauty is EVERYTHING! The Spell Card System emphasizes beauty more than power, and the most Bee-uutiful one wins the fight-ze!"

The Most Beautiful One wins, huh….? I think I remembered Reimu saying something like that yesterday.

"The Most Beautiful Fighter wins, Eman. That's the main gist of the Spell Card System besides throwing danmaku at each other and see who loses consciousness first."

So in other words, the fighter who looked the coolest is the one who's likely to win? That's just really weird, like a whole lot of weird.

But if I think about Capoeira…well…..

"How much power would you even need anyway just to appear entertaining?"

"Oh, that depends on people, really. Everybody's got their own style-da ze." She then presented a toothy smile, "Me? I never hold back on a fight."

I could tell. That fucking Megaton Laser of yours was dashingly Colorful, and outright Overpowering. You could suddenly end the fight without even coming down to the final beat down.

"Oh, I have a thought!"

"Hmm?"

"Let's train you dodging danmaku!"

I raised an eyebrow.

She nodded vigorously, "You gotta, Eman! Pretty soon, somebody's gonna end up challengin' ya to a danmaku fight and would probably wipe the floor with ya but ya gotta at least fight back, y'know!"

That wasn't really helpful, Marisa. You gotta take classes on pep talk school. "I appreciate the offer but….why?" Like, why now?

"Well…." She rubbed her chin in thought, "Normally I wouldn't be doin' this with ya outsiders or anybody really but you got skills-ze! I think yer martial arts could do something! So, I gonna teach you how to dodge and graze danmaku out of the goodness of my pure heart!"

Riiiiight. So glad you're doing this much for me~

"Before that, what does a danmaku even look like?" I don't think Reimu even shown me that.

"This!" She said in exasperation, rearing her hand back behind her as if she was going to throw something, and when she pitched it a head-sized yellow star was suddenly streaming towards me, leaving sparkles in its wake, its flight speed guaranteeing more than just a stinging pain.

I leaned my head sideways before my mind even acknowledged the projectile and the (sweet-smelling) bullet whizzes past my face, flying across the river and hitting a tree, causing a sparkly explosion and leaving a…..smoky hole on the bark?

What the fuck was that candy made of? Did I just eat that shit before!?

[Wow…..huh.] I'm amazed. Even though that could've done something horribly to my face, that was actually amazing. I turned back to Marisa, "So that was Danmaku." Wasn't sure to consider the falling stars on 2 days ago to be danmaku at first but I stand corrected.

"A Danmaku." She corrected, still grinning rather excitedly, "I could shower ya with a buttload of 'em-ze!" She removed her hat, fished her hand inside like she was gonna fish a rabbit out but instead pulled out a—oh no.

She pulled out the fucking Hakkero!

"«Magic Sign—Stardust Reverie»!"

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"Eman, you're supposed to dodge 'em, not hide behind a tree like a bitch-da ze!"

SO! MANY! STARS! [Yeah! Fucking gattling gun the fuck outta me and hope to dodge 'em! I so could totally do that, you stupid bitch!]

"What!?"

I poked my head out, "I said I managed a few of them!" I slinked back in.

"Not good enough! Let's try again!"

Oh no, you fucking don't! "Don't you dare!" I bolted out of the cover of the tree, grabbed the nearest rock, spun in place and threw it at her face.

She dodged it. She didn't even have to move much, she just leaned her head sideways as if she was stretching her neck, "Oh, yer interested in rock danmaku?"

"Do not use a Spell Card on me, you nitwit! I barely even prepared for that!"

"No pain, no gain, Eman!" She already had both hands reared back for more stars to throw.

"Don't just use that as a—" She fucking threw them, and this time she fired stars in shotgun blasts, colors now varying like rainbows.

Wait…wait! There's a gap, right there in the middle! Adjusting the position of my feet, lowering my upper body down, and elbows close to my ribs, I jumped into the gap, clusters of miniature stars whipping past me as I did, leaving a trail of sparkles and the lingering smell of candy.

Why is your danmaku food, Marisa? You're making my mouth drool here!

"Nice one!" Marisa began to clap enthusiastically. I noted the splashing sounds behind me, signifying the danmaku pellets hitting the water. "That's what ya gotta do, Eman! Find a gap and take the chance, that's how you'll last long enough-ze!"

Might as well be dodging bullets in real-life!

…..nevertheless, that was actually thrilling. I don't know how I managed that but hot damn! Another round, Marisa. Bring it on. I wanna do that again!

"You got a rip there." She pointed to my right.

Oh fuck me, there's a fucking hole on my sleeve. "I better not wear this while we're doing this." This jacket's priceless, I had a lot of memories with this thing. I even got this thing when I was Suika's size and I had to make myself grow into it.

"Give it here! I'll hold it for ya!" Oh my, she's suddenly floating in the air with her broom.

I folded my jacket to a square and threw it up to her. Once she caught it, she unfolded it and wore the thing herself. Yeah, too big for her, just like that hat of hers. She's a really tiny girl, almost just like Suika, minus the horns. "Damn, this thing's too big for me-ze." Her hands are still inside the sleeve, cute.

"Second round, Marisa." I hollered, spreading my hands on both sides to goad her, "Give me what you got." This is tense, but I'm gonna dodge the fuck outta this one!

Marisa grinned menacingly, rolling her sleeve (which is fitting since her hand is still inside the sleeve, still a cute thing to do), and held out a palm towards me. "Get ready!"

My body already dove a dive-roll to the grass before she even fired. And what came out of her palm: a fucking green LASER!

WHAT THE HELL!? I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING DANMAKU!?

[What the fuck!?] I pushed myself up to my feet and I was already bolting to the sides, the laser following my footsteps. With Marisa's laser arm faster than my feet, the beam was already coming nearer to my legs, leaving a smoking trail of cinders on the ground. Swinging both my arms back, I swung them back forward, and I back-flipped over the laser as it whizzed by where my body should be.

Landing back to the ground, I chased after the laser as it stopped moving forward, the owner noticing I was now behind her aim path. When it was about to whip against me, I front flipped over it and began bolting for the trees. Heart thumping like a drum roll, arms pumping like hell, I reached the distance of one tree and I wall-ran its surface, managing three steps before I back-flipped to the ground, the laser leaving a smoking line on the tree's bark, grabbing a rock in the process of my landing and finally retaliated with my danmaku to my enemy.

She caught the rock. She caught the fucking thing like it's an apple with her laser arm, no longer shooting the beam (thank god!).

Holy crap! How awesome are you, Marisa!? How long have you been doing these kind of fights that you could do that without even looking at it?

Turning to the object she was holding, her eyes widened at what I just pulled and she smiled to me. "Nice." She threw the rock carelessly over her shoulder, "Looks like there's hope for ya after all."

So were you expecting me to drop dead in this practice!?

Ugh, what a fucking workout. As fun as it could be, I literally thought I was going to have my body split apart during the entire thing. And I'm not eager for more…..just not now, "We'll stop here." I told, walking over to the riverside. Once I was by the shore, I knelt down and washed my hands to get the dirt out, rubbing my forearms and splashing a little to my hair (its still silky).

Looking at the waters, I could easily see the rather sandy bottom thanks to its rather tranquil cleanliness. I could even see some fishes swimming in schools around it, a couple of tall grass swaying in the current as the fishes swam around them looking for food.

Damn, Gensokyo is so beautiful. Compared to the Real World's rivers, this one's mesmerizing. I even feel tempted to dive in for a swim.

With a couple of large rocks and boulders jutting out from the waters, I let myself loose on them. I jumped on one rock nearest to the shore, I landed on all fours onto the next one, I tic-tac wall-run'd a rather triangle shaped rock on its side and jumped onto the flattest rock that was found on the center of the river.

Thank God for the cloud covering the sun, I wanna sit here and enjoy some peace and quiet provided by nature. Plus, it's really cool around here, the trees providing the nice temperature to cool my heated body because of the exertions. Sitting on the edge of the rock, my feet dangling down over the waters, I leaned back with my hands and breathed fine air.

I don't think the Outside World could ever have this kind of air. A good reason to stay here.

….huh, I didn't call it the 'Real World' now. I think I'm getting the Gensokyo Syndrome.

Marisa floated by in front of me, giving me a friendly smile. I extended a hand for her, and she took it. I swung her to my side and she hopped off the broom, landing her butt on the rock beside me with a thump (funny). Setting down her broom beside her, she undressed the jacket and threw it on my shoulder. "Here."

[Thanks.] I fixed the inside-out sleeves and slotted my arms through them, linking the zippers and pulling it up to my chin.

"Beautiful, ain't it?" She asked, leaning her elbows on her knees and supporting her chin.

"I don't need words to say that." I really don't. The river doesn't just make this place beautiful, the riversides, the trees, the sounds of the birds and insects merging together forms the general scenery of this place. If the sun comes out from the clouds, I'm willing to bet that its reflection on the river waters would be so captivating. Truly a beautiful picture that totally fucked Photoshop over. "I feel tempted to come here on my own next time."

"Yeah," Marisa drawled, giving me a mischievous grin, "Good luck on the river Youkai hiding on the waters to nab ya and drown ya-da ze."

"What? Where? Where!?" I don't see them anywhere, the waters so crystal-clear that I could see through the waters 50 meters away from here. What kind of Youkai was she seein—

"Haha, just kidding. So serious." She began to smack my shoulder in her laughter. Don't you ever do that again, please! I nearly made myself bolt to the riverside, you know. "But seriously, watch out for them." She advised, a serious tone lacing her voice.

I nodded. "Noted." Don't doubt a native who had faced the dangers of the land face to face instead of knowing them by the word of mouth.

"So!" I feel a new topic coming in, "How's yer new life in Gensokyo, eh?"

"To be honest….." Hmm…. "It was swell. It feels as if everyday has something new in store for me. I even got to utilize my acrobats in ways that were uncommon to my world."

"Yep, in Gensokyo everybody gets to be themselves without anybody judgin' ya for it." The way you said that, it almost sounded….scripted, "You pretty much had the same response as the last outsiders I toured around Gensokyo."

"Oh, is that so?" Am I talking to a self-appointed tour guide here? She's been around outsiders quite often, especially the ones horded in by Yukari? "Do they have the same decision as me, to stay in Gensokyo and leave their home forever?"

"Mm hm. They're prolly livin' in the human village by now, or living in the wilderness like me!" She nodded with a small smile, crossing her arms and swinging her legs back and forth, "Even though they got families and stuff back home, they'd rather be here than there. They keep sayin' that stuffs been tough in the Outside World for them."

Huh….so I'm not alone in the same reasoning for being here. "I can't say I'm any different from them. Things had been hard for me back home." I wondered about the other outsiders' reasoning. I had my problem of being chased around by the authorities, I wonder what's theirs?

"Really?" She turned to me with a raised eyebrow, "What 'bout family? You miss 'em?"

I shook my head, "I do not miss them, Marisa. I couldn't have it in my heart to even love them as much as a son should." I said stoically.

She frowned, a touch of worry found on her face, "What'd they do to you?"

"The better question is 'what have they been to me?'." Those two barely gave me any love. They provided for me, they gave me what I needed for my education, they had everything I ever needed for life, but did they ever gave me love? "I could barely call them my parents anymore."

"What 'bout yer sisters and bros?"

I lowered my head, an ugly weight falling on my heart as I creased my forehead at the memories I cherished and wanted to forget came rushing back to me, "I'm the only child now." Emmanuella is resting on the Heavens, God has taken my place as her caretaker now. I wish she'd stay a little more, but Jesus already had other plans for her apparently.

"Oh…sorry." She looked away, shame crossing her face, "Forget I said anythin'."

I gave a small smile, smacking her shoulder, "Its fine." I said in my usual jovial tone, forgetting about my momentary sadness. I'm used to my sadness now, and it won't do me any good just by brooding about it. "Now that I'm in this beautiful land, I can recover properly in a quiet environment. I moved on from my past. That's a mature thing to do, no?"

"Uh…yeah!" Her bright and friendly smile suddenly returned, and it brightened my mood drastically, "It ain't healthy to be mopin' all the time, right?"

[Nice!] Gimme a fist!

*Fist bump!*

Yeah~ Loved the fact that you didn't hold back your strength in that.

Wait, did the river suddenly become brightly yellow?

Ow, my eyes! I covered them with my hand. Marisa brought the rim of her hat even further down to cover her face.

Oh, the sun finally came out of hiding, and is now shining down on Gensokyo. Whoa ho, look at that, I was right! The river did reflect the sun in a rather dazzling way. The shimmering surface of the waters, it shined on the general surroundings with wiggly yellows.

"Looks like Mr. Sun finally decided to ruin the peace."

"Yeah, he's such a bitch in the summer-da ze!"

Hahahahahaha!

"Let us continue the tour, Tour Guide Marisa!" I rolled backwards into the rock, did a little handstand and eventually brought myself to a stand in the motion, gesturing grandiosely to the side like a gentleman.

"Right-O, tourist!" Jumping up to her feet from the edge (how's that even possible?), she stomped the point of her broom and it suddenly flipped to the air before she caught in her hand. With our ride in her hand, she threw it towards the waters and it levitated on its own before she jumped towards it with one hand clutching the shaft, using her momentum to swing her body around it before she ended up landing on her designated seat. "Get on!"

With the broom off the edge of the rock and over the river waters, she's goading me to jump towards the broom and latch on to it with my hands.

Watch this, Marisa: I sprinted for the running start. Once I was near the edge, I ejected with a jump towards the ride and grabbed the shaft with my one hand, the broom swaying on my weight but not that much. With my momentum still steaming in my lower body, I swung one leg towards the shaft—over the shaft, and I grabbed on with my other hand, leveraging my body weight to throw myself upright.

There, I'm now seated on the broom, and I didn't even break my balls. Nice! Hehe!

"Good one, Eman!" I even got a praise!

"Childhood perks, Marisa." Thank God for my childhood, now…"TO THE SKIES!" I pointed to the very heavens.

"BU-LAST OFF-DA ZEEEE!"

[WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!‼!‼!‼] LOOP DE LOOP, MUDERFUKERS! HAHAHAHAHA!

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

After a few wild rides all around Gensokyo (and probably annoying the hell out of people with my hooting), I was able to get the lay of the land. At least a little, there's still the possibility for me to getting lost if I travel alone.

Marisa told me about the 'hospital' in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, but getting there is a chance for a human to be in a wilderness survival movie. You can never get out, even flying ain't gonna help ya unless a girl named Mokou helps you out. But seriously, why in a place called 'Bamboo Forest of the Lost'? What if there are some serious emergencies?

She also marked me a few places with a dense frequency of Youkai presence to watch out for so I know where to go and not to go. Particularly 'Muenzuka', the 'Road of Liminality', and a few other spots.

She even took me to the misty lake which was actually called….Misty Lake. Go figure. With the sun in a shining glory, the reflection of that and both our faces in the water as we skimmed above it was captivating. I fancied myself to run my hand across the lake while we fly, so much fun. When we blasted off the waters and into the air again, we disturbed the equilibrium of the lake and made it explode via wind power on our take off. It was awesome.

Lastly she ended our trip with a last stop to the human village. No complaint, I'll admit that I want to see civilization again after seeing only 4 people for 4 days. As far as I can see, the village is really old-fashioned. Everything's in Japanese-style, made entirely out of wood, and bamboo, standard wiggly roofs, and everything looks quite…..peaceful, for a lack of better word. Everyone just goes around with their business, all with smiles on their faces, and I have not seen any trace of a bad detail at all.

Looks like we're here. We're floating atop on what seems to be a town square on the human village, with a big dragon statue in the middle, and a few people walking about, coming and going in the intersections. A couple of them looked up to look at us, but then just walk away. I guess these people are familiar with the crazies, aka flying women prone to mood swings.

"Okay, Marisa, hover just 10 meters off the ground. There is something I am going to do." I told, placing my hand on her shoulder before slowly standing up on the shaft, keeping myself steady with my hold on her.

"What're you gonna do?" I pointed a thumbs down and gestured it like a stab. A smirk that steadily grew on her face told me that she knows what I'm about to do, "Oh, I see. Go do it. Lemme see you do it-ze." She lowered down to the desired height, a short second later, the broom was as still as a tree branch. Thanks. "HEY! People! Outta the way unless ya wanna size 10 shoe on the head-ze!"

Really, Marisa? Now the people around are looking at us weird, looking like they were expecting us to do something stupid such as nose diving the ground. Well, I guess I technically am. I mean, I'm standing on a broom and looked like I'm about to swan dive to the dirt.

Well, that's what I'm gonna do.

Finally getting the lay of the ground, I began the phase.

Okay, you got this. This isn't the first time, and you've done this more than 50 times. Make it a good one, there's lots of people watching.

Okay, here we go.

One….

I let go of Marisa's shoulder.

Two….

I bent my knees and tensed them, carefully balancing myself as I do.

And Three.

I jumped to a backflip, curling my legs as I do, hugging my legs close to me like a fatal position. I'm high off the ground so I can double the flip. The broom sort of 'sunk' on my jump but I know what I'm doing. My point of view seeing the dirt ground that I will land into at the first half of a second, then my line of sight went back to Marisa's floating self for a small millisecond, I uncurled my legs and prepared for the landing.

Land! Then, roll backwards on the ground from left waist to right shoulder. It was a perfect backward roll, I even built up momentum with it. Whenever this happens, that'll make me hop involuntarily in the air. I used the involuntary-momentum-hop moment to add a Webster for the hell of it. Then, a Scoot. And for the last one, a Corkscrew.

When I landed, I stood up straight, [Ta da!] I hollered to the crowd around me, arms spread either side of me.

There goes the cheers and claps. Yeah, feed me with your applause. Oh yeah~ It feels good~ please, keep it up~!

"Hey, Eman! My turn! Watch me!"

I see she wants a go too. Let's see it. "The stage now belongs to you, sister!" I clapped my hands above me, making the people follow my gesture as I walked in a curving path around Marisa's floating zone, "Come one, come all! See the Ordinary Magician perform her feats of acrobat and magic together! Come on, everybody! Give her an applause, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages! Come on!"

There we go. That's right, people, clap your hands for the witch!

Marisa casually stood on her broom, spreading her arms as a start like I did. And she's not even trying hard in her balance. Her times of flying served her well.

In a break-neck second, she crouched so low that her thighs touched her ankles and she ejected to the air, her jump height much, much higher than what I could possibly reach, spinning her body as she does, and spilling her stars all over the town square.

Corkscrewing and throwing candy at the same time, eh? Impressive. Should she be Mrs. Santa on Christmas? Sounds like a good idea.

The crowds were in awe, unblinking as they beheld the astounding performance of the magician. I didn't notice it the first time but she's trailing sparkles in her wake as well. When she managed, maybe, 15 spins in the air (that's a lot of spins), she finally reached the ground and landed with one knee, posing just like last time.

Then the grand finale…

Raining stars!

Everybody cheered, much more rigorously than my own. Her magic pretty much adds up everything. In other words, she bested me.

But hey, my performance was genuine skill.

Whatever, I'll just eat this star while she gets some attention.

Come'ere. *Nom*

Hmm, strawberry-red. Not bad. Is there green apple-green somewhere? Maybe a mango-lemon?

"Howzzat!?" She yelled amidst the still-ongoing applause and the laughter of the children as they frolicked around the rain of sparkles and stars, oblivious that they are literally surrounded by candy. This time she doesn't look nauseated as before.

I reached for my elbow across my chest while my other hand reached for my chin for a thinking. Hmm. Let's think about this for a sec. "Well, if I must rate your performance. Hmm….." Her execution was flawless, her conduct was mighty impressive, and crowd impact says it all. Well, all in all, it's a…..

"7 out of 10."

"WHAT!? WHY!?" She be undignified.

"There's no grape colored star anywhere. I saw you winch your ankle upon landing. And it's pretty much the same as last time. You will have to live your whole short life with that." *Nom*

"Hey! Mine's awesomer than yours! I'd rate you 3 out of 10! No, wait, scratch that. 1 out of 10, how about that!?"

"Whatever. At least my performance is done with caution and perfect conduct with a touch of experienced ease instead of reckless impulse."

"WHY you little…..!" She growled, stomping towards me with her broom floating to her grasp.

"Now, who the hell are you calling 'little'? Your head doesn't even bypass my chest, little lady."

She's really seething right now. She's coming closer and closer, a raised hand coming to whack my face across.

Then, her sneer become an immediate grin. I pretty much mirrored it, suddenly finding the urge to laugh and submitting to it, slapping her incoming open hand with my own.

[Nice one!]

"Nice jumpin'!"

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"We are drawing a few eyes, aren't we? Was it because of our impromptu acrobat performance?"

As we go through the districts of the village, passing through stores and residential areas, a lot of villagers are watching us. I noticed behind that a lot of people are following behind us, some opening their windows and peeking out. it's like we're the newly arrived attraction or circus. Well, considering what we did in their town square, this would be expected but I think this is too exaggerated. There's practically a crowd following us.

"You weren't so white last time, maybe it's because of yer new skin makeup-ze!"

"Maybe it's because of your oversized hat atop your feebly short body."

*Smack*

Ahem, doesn't hurt.

"Watch it." She snarled, though not so harshly, "It's you. Outsiders are kind of a craze here-ze."

Huh….

I spared a glance to a few children watching me at a sidewalk. I gave them a small but friendly wave, some returned it, and some shyly hid away in a corner.

Hmm.

"All this attention makes me feel like an alien." I remarked, putting my hands in my jacket pockets.

"Since outsiders have knowledge beyond ours, they tend to be valuable. Say, if you teach 'em somethin' outsider'y, it'll be the village's thing for who-the-hell-knows-how-long."

Like a trend?

*Snickers….!*

I think I got a few plots ready to set corruption and chaos to this village. I could be tainting this peaceful town with JB and his songs, or even make them go mad with fidget spinners. Oh, hohohohohoho~ My evil plan looks delicious~~

Nah, just kidding. I never liked any of those things anyway.

"What are you leerin' 'bout?" Marisa asked, nudging me with her elbow.

"That's none of your damn business, Short stuff. My evil plot shall never be revealed to ignorant witches."

"HEY!" Wup! Dodged that punch like a boss. "You called me short again!"

"Why so undignified?" I crossed my arms, looking down on the short stack witch below me. "Your growth hormones clearly reject your pathetic frame and had exited your body via sweat fluid."

"Oh, you wanna piece of me!?"

"If you mean marking you as R.I.P, which means 'Resting In Pieces' then yes, I will gladly make you brittle until you shatter and spread your remains to the Hakurei Shrine." I admonished, readying my fists.

"Oh it's on, tourist!" She snarled, narrowing her eyes, holding her broom like a spear and pointing the bush end towards me.

Really?

A few civilians later caught on what was about to happen and they backed away from a certain distance. They made an arena ring around us.

Brilliant.

Well, time for you, Kirisame Marisa, to see just how a Free-Runner fights. It's been a while since I've fought, now I will relive my memories to the brim.

First moves on me!

I performed an aerial, side-flipping towards her direction, aiming to slam her down with my feet. She quickly steps away and my offensive aerial became a standard aerial, creating dust clouds on my impact.

Marisa struck, swinging her broom in a wide, yet quick arc that it shocked me. Since my back was partially facing her, I barely blocked her broom from hitting my left side with my forearm. It's just wood and whisk but it hurts like a BITCH! What the hell is that thing made out of, fucking steel!?

I shoved her broom away with force good enough to make it far away from me, then I executed the corkscrew kick. It's similar to the 540 kick in Taekwondo, but instead of doing a swiping kick, I'm doing my strike in an axe-motion.

She dodged it via back stepping again. She's clearly used to dodging, and she's good, but don't think I'm done yet!

Spin˃Step˃TD Raiz˃Corkscrew with a wild swinging arm just for the hell of it!

She dodged all of the kicks I sent her way. And that ended up giving her an opening to my defenses and swept my feet off the ground with the broom, sending me to the floor on my back, making me cough out all of my oxygen.

At least I didn't hit my head….!

She neared the whisk of the broom close to my neck as if she was holding a halberd and will cut my head off if I do something funny, looking over me with a triumphant look. I admit, I was intimidated for a second, "You got moves, I seriously gotta hook ya up with China later." She mentioned with a smirk, "But dodgin' feet and fists are much easier than dodgin' danmakus-da ze."

Dodging danmakus = dodging bullets.

I guess that explains how she was able to dodge all of them. Normally, anyone would've been caught off guard since not a lot of people do their fights like this, but that doesn't apply to people like Marisa and, maybe, Reimu who dodge bullets for a living.

[Nice try.]

"Wha?"

BUT NOT THIS!

[Hah!] Breakdance flare to the legs! Now, you're down on the floor with me! Landing to the floor with an 'oomph!' on her back, I cut my flare short and quickly made myself perform a handstand on the back swing of the flare, my back facing her, then I tipped my body towards her fallen form with all of my weight transferred to my legs. I hopped off the ground with my hands, quickly curling my upper body towards my knees without bending them and TIMBER!

*BAM!* The crowd around us gasped on the impact, creating a massive dust cloud around me.

…..? Oh.

She rolled away and managed to not become Mashed Marisa underneath my ASS. Now all that damage is transferred to me, but it doesn't hurt just as much. I have a metal ASS. One of my best Childhood Perks.

She beheld me with a look of shock as she rolled to her front, her pseudo-maid outfit matted with dirt, her giant hat somehow managing to stay in place on her head, then she smirked with amusement, "How'd that go for ya, huh? Looks like it's yer ass's turn that took the punishin' this time-ze."

"Well, not really." I denied, crossing my legs to a Zen position. "I was blessed with a strong rear so that leaves the worries out."

"Really? That's quite a privilege."

"Isn't it?"

"Hahahahaha."

[Hehehehehe.]

…

….

"Hiyaaaaa!‼" She bolted up to her feet and made for a swing of her broom with a wide arc coming my way.

[Ooouugghhh!‼] I bolted up to my feet and executed the 540 kick straight for her face.

CRITICAL STRIKE!‼

"That's enough." A mature voice interjected.

*Pak!*
*Grab!*

…..

"What the?"
[What the?]

Our strikes didn't hit the mark, nor did they clash against the other's offensive strike, they were caught by hand, not by the other, but from someone uninvolved, someone…who has a packed lunchbox on her head.

Like, what the hell?

Wait, 'what the hell' is not the issue here, more like 'what the actual fuck' is the issue here. She's holding my foot, and she's also holding Marisa's broom by the shaft above the whisk. Both were severely close to hitting her face.

Did this woman just stop our strikes? Barehanded? All of my strength was put on that foot, and my, look at all that hair. So long and white, it's beautiful. There's even some tinges of blue there. Where'd you get the dye job, girl?

The same mature voice began, "I was wondering what all the commotion was about." I was trying to pull my foot away, but her grip on my ankle made it feel like it was stuck inside a block of ice. Only warm, and extremely firm that I can't even budge it. "But it seems it was just the resident klepto going around on her escapades."

"Mrs. Keine."

Mrs. Keine? Sensei? Teacher?

The silver-haired adult who was called Mrs. Keine turned to me, her features softening despite the fact that she's holding my foot that was about to sock her on the back of the head. "Hello there, has this woman been bothering you?"

Uh? I don't know why we're having this conversation with my one foot 166 degrees upwards but I'll play along. "No, Ma'am. She is with me."

"Oh," Her smile disappeared, raising an eyebrow and boring her strict brown eyes on me and Marisa, "Then why on Gensokyo are you two fighting anyway?"

I looked at myself, then back at her, then at Marisa, who was having a tug of war with her with the broom. She's not making any progress at all. "Uh…."

"T'was a friendly sparring, Ma'am. I provoked the farce." You owe me for this Marisa.

"Yeah, yeah! We were just playing!" Marisa, you're not helping with your nervous face! Quit it!

"Hmm." She dragged, looking over the both of us with a sharp calculating gaze, after giving Marisa a long gaze, she turned to me, "May I know your name, Mr. Outsider?"

It amazes me that you could still keep this conversation going while I'm typically close to doing the splits. And what the hell, people? Why are you all still watching? Don't you have better things to do?

"I'm the new arrival to Gensokyo from the Western continent of the outside world. My friends call me 'Eman'. You can call me Eman too if you fancy."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Eman." She bowed, not letting go of my leg and the broom, "My name's Kamishirasawa Keine. Do call me 'Keine', my last name is such a mouthful."

"Indeed. Pleased to meet you as well, Madam Keine." As 'Pleasing' as this talk is gonna be with you still holding my foot up. And Marisa, how long have you been tugging that broom? I couldn't notice since it barely budged. "Um, Madam Keine….?"

"Yes, do you have a question?" You know, your ability to talk so casually in this situation is godlike. I swear, if you were trying to pacify a riot, everyone would instantly shut up the sooner you start talking.

"Will you please let go? The blood circulation on my leg is being deterred."

"But first," She's twisting it! She's twisting my foot! "Do you two swear to stop fighting the sooner I let go?"

I nodded quickly. Whoever this woman is, I get the feeling that she would definitely fuck me up if I do otherwise. "Yes, Ma'am. Forgive us if we caused a disruption to the peace of the village, we didn't consider the place to conduct our competition."

"Ye-yeah! We didn't break anything!" Marisa, were you planning to break something amidst all that?

She raised an eyebrow and bore me down with the same strict gaze, the same kind of gaze a teacher would give to a misbehaving student. Are you trying to see if I'm lying? What else could you get? I didn't really lie at all. And what about Marisa? Bore her down.

"Okay. I'll believe you."

"Whoa!"
[Wwooy!]

Umph.

….

…..wow.

Her pull was just….wow. I mean, she yanked me to the floor but it felt like I was being dropped. Whenever I'm thrown or blown back, there's always the momentum that I could use to roll back up when I hit the floor. But her? It felt like she just slammed me flat to the ground, no room for momentum at all.

Just Wow.

"Uuuggghhhhh….." Marisa just ate dirt. She literally face planted the very earth. I got off easy being sent to my back.

I'm not gonna bother with a kip-up. I'll just sit up like a normal person.

"Okay, people, shows over. Go back to your businesses!" And they instantly follow. Whoever Keine is, she has a lot of authority and influence on them, even the way she delivered her voice was almost comparable to a sergeant. Her physical strength is quite the giveaway too, no woman could ever stop a kick like that.

"You seem to have quite the reputation to even have them obey you like that." I comment, slapping my sleeves to dust away the dirt stuck to them.

"I am the guardian of this village, Mr. Eman." She replied, stepping closer to me and extending a hand, her pleasant smile returning to her face, "No one causes a ruckus on my watch, not that it happens often."

Looks like my guess was right. She was some sort of Guardian of this place, despite how frail she looked.

I guess a guardian for the humans would be necessary since the sheriff has her own problems to deal with, terrorists' sploding the forest and all.

I took her hand and raised myself up, "Thank you." I walked over to the fallen witch and pulled her to her feet. "I fail to mention it before but you have impressive evasion prowess."

"Yeah. You got moves, I'll tell ya that." She replied, adjusting her hat. She's literally matted with dust. I assisted her in batting them off her person, specifically her back. "Thanks. Do outsiders like you tumble like that?"

"Some outsiders." Since technology is sort of making people lose their sense of diligence. "I'm one of the outsiders with privilege."

"Privileges to what? A damn fine Ass?" She snickered.

I snickered too, that was actually a good one.

"That's one. But there are ones who are extremely talented and gifted with above average human capability upon birth." Just like that one guy who could solve 6 rubiks cubes while blindfolded, singlehandedly or that 2 year old drummer. "They tend to be popular and recognized by their reputation. But my acrobats are nothing new, many can do the same and only the ones with exceptional skill can be known."

"Oh, like natural magicians." I raised an eyebrow, "You don't get that, do you?" I shook my head. "Okay, for example, I'm a normal human, but I do magic. That's not a common thing. I learn magic by studyin' and other means. Natural magicians don't have to do that. They could pretty much cast magic even if they're still kids and inexperienced."

Ah, like they're born with Mana in their veins and normals create artificial mana for themselves. Nice, this is pretty much Warcraft in a nutshell. "It seems that proves your title. Kirisame Marisa, The 'Ordinary Magician'. Born a human, a magician in spirit."

"That's Rrright!" She puffed out her chest, "Remember that!"

[OOF!] Do you really have to hit me in the gut like that!? "Was that necessary!?"

"Congratulations, you got a peggin' from the Ordinary Magician!"

A female magician with the physical prowess of a male, how Ordinary.

[Hehehe! Right!] Crumpling my belly one more time, making the ache partially disappear, I stood upright and quickly caught her in a headlock, making her hat fall off her head and to the dirt ground, "See if you can escape this, Ordinary Magician! HM!" And I yanked her off her feet, giving her a noogie at the same time.

"ACK! Eman! Can't breathe! Stop!" She choked out, slapping my hands and trying to pull them off.

"For a young magician, you cannot even counter this? You'd be outclassed in close quarters, Marisa." I comment, loosening the headlock but hardening the noogie.

"Stop! Hey! Leggo!"

"Okay." There ya go, back to the floor, coughing for oxygen. Oh stop acting, it's not like I blocked off your oxygen, you practically lifted yourself up with your hold on my forearm.

"Haaaa! Haaa!" She wheezed, shooting me a rather hard glare, "Not funny….! I could'a died!"

I just rolled my eyes. I picked up the fallen witch hat (damn, this thing is SERIOUSLY BIG!), then I brought Marisa up to her feet by her hand, then I patted the dust off the glorious hat before placing it tenderly back to her head.

Here you go, little witch, "Now the damage is fair." I extended a hand for her, "Peace?"

She held a questioned look, a hand on her hat, looking at me, then the hand, then back at me again. She smiled earnestly this time, "Peace!" She snatched my hand, our hands making a snapping sound and we shook.

"I see you two have been getting friendly." Oh, forgot Keine was even here.

"Yep!" Ogh. She wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close, "This guy's got potential. He'll be throwin' danmaku like the rest of us-da ze!"

I'm flattered, and this adult here could throw danmaku too?

"Potential?" Keine blinked, "What are you trying to say, Ms. Marisa? I can't quite get it."

"What I'm saying is that this guy's gonna be beating Youkai ass with danmaku fights sooner or later!"

That's too much credit, Marisa. I could barely do much if you pelted the entire area with stars. I'll be boned if that ever happened.

"Ms. Marisa." Oh dear, Keine's eyes are starting to harden. "While I will not comment on your views of him, I cannot support your motives to push him in the midst of danger."

Whu…?

"What? C'mon, Teach! Why would I do that?" I…I don't know what's going on anymore. "I'm just sayin' this guy could end up being like us, y'know! I bet he'd be makin' his own spell card in the future!"

"Basically, you're saying he can be capable of defending himself against Youkai on his own?"

"Yeah!"

…huh…..thanks, Marisa.

"Thank you." You get a pat in the back for this.

She gave me a wink, a wide grin plastered on her face.

"I see." She conceded with a nod, then she gave Marisa a little bit of a stern look, "But I'd rather he stays safe. Outsiders are quite the target for all Youkai, and I will not have you endangering him with whatever whim you have."

"C'mon, Teach. Why not gimme some trust, eh? I won't let anything hurt him...much."

Ahem, Marisa.

"Kirisame Marisa, unless I am fully assured that he is under safe hands, I will not allow you to walk out of the village with him."

Uh oh, protective paranoia. I always hated that stuff being pointed at me. Better spill some herbicide on that seed, otherwise it'll overgrow all over my personal life.

"No need to worry." I interjected, "I'm no stranger to danger so I could manage on my own….hopefully." Damn it, I'm no better than my witchy friend. "I have found myself compatible to Marisa's personality, therefore you are assured from worrying about any incident on her behalf befalling me. The Youkai are my only concern, which I trust her to defend me from." I patted Marisa's shoulder as emphasis, "That doesn't mean I cannot defend myself, however.

I hope fighting dipshits in the Real World could count as combat experience in Gensokyo. I never had any formal martial arts training anyway.

The adult sighed, probably giving up, "So, may I know what you two are doing, besides having a play fight in the village?"

"Ah, yeah! I'm takin' him to Kourin's, figured he'll find something useful there since he's an outsider."

So she said. She and I planned to walk from here to there, to an antique shop called 'Kourindou'. While phase 1 was over with, we fucked up phase 2 by deciding to beat the hell out of each other in the fucking town instead of going there.

"Kourindou?" Keine echoed, "Ah, yes. That would be a rather good place to take him."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Yeah, what the hell are we standing around for, talking about this!? "Marisa, take flight and lead on!" And away I go!

"Catch up, tourist!" And she whizzes by my head and flies with her broom.

"He-hey! You two!"

Sorry, Ma'am! Can't hear you over the sound of Crazy Feet running all over the dirt road Marisa's leading me to!

Also, you're too fast, Marisa! Slow down, will ya!?

Good thing the people have a good mind to move out of the way while a witch is flying by, because I really can't manage a bob-and-weave maneuver on something that moves and breaths.

"Marisa! No flying too closely to the ground! You could hit somebody!" Holy shit! The Teacher's coming! And she's flying as well!

"Marisa, we got trouble!" Let's do this in the old-School-Fashioned way, escape the detention master!

"I noticed! Let's split up! Meet up at the west side of town that way!" And she flies off to a different direction. I took a turn as soon as I saw a curving road. Taking the turn, I immediately turned to the nearest building that had such a low roof that I could latch unto it upon jumping.

When I got to the rooftop and stood tall, looking over everything, the teacher is lost on my mind now, the destination of West is gone as well. There was something else totally controlling my movements right now.

Who thought it was a good idea to leave people like me on a city district alone where there are roofs who some suicidal idiots called Free-Runners would call a 'normal road'?

I'm a fucking Tree-Climber raised in a city, Ladies and Gentlemen. Everywhere is my playground!

[YEAH!]

Jump towards the other roof. Sprint across that, wall-run the wall of the next house that was taller than this till I reached the roof, then I jumped a front flip to the lowest rooftop below, rolling on the landing before running forward once again.

Oh yes! The memories! The nostalgia! The familiar movements! The automatic flow of my body! They're crawling back to my head! They're so abundant I'm starting to lose sight of the world and I'm only moving by instinct!

With a line of rooftops practically having the same level as the other, it's an easy jump-and-run mechanism from there. At the end of the line, I turned to the right where more rooftops are waiting for me, just for more jumps!

I'm hearing something—no, it's a someone coming from behind me. Someone with a womanly voice and a mature tone, holding an authority in her voice that fits someone looking down on an educated student. I hear the someone saying something about me getting hurt or I have to get down or I disturb the people but I don't care right now.

Right now, I gotta run fast! Keine's gonna catch my ass if she sees me!

Oh I see Marisa coming in at the distance above the road. If I calculate this right, she and I will collide together the sooner I jump off at the end of the line that was the last building.

I think I got something epic in mind.

Marisa looked my way, I looked into her eyes, she returned eye contact, she looked at the predicted collision point, she looked back at me again and showed a massive grin.

I think she's getting the same idea as me. Let's do it, baby!

Bolting to top speed, I was jumping over every edge that came to my feet and the final building was getting closer. Once I was finally at the edge of the building, I pumped my arms back, then I jumped straight off the edge—catching Marisa's outstretched hand, swinging myself towards her back and I landed my foot on the shaft, both my hands on her shoulders to keep steady as she blasted off.

Holy shit, I didn't know that you was chasing me the whole time, Keine!

"Later, Keine!" And Marisa says goodbye, curving in the air for a turn to the general direction of West, streaking over the rooftops of the village. Holy crap, I didn't notice how many buildings there are in this place. This many houses could fit like more than a thousand people.

Oh, I see the gate from here.

"Ride's over!" Marisa signaled, pulling a—WAH! Don't just pull a fucking loop de loop, you fucknut! I nearly fell off!

After the loop, she dipped the ground with her feet, which I used as a moment to jump off the broom and land with a roll to kill the inertia. Hey, folks. Must be raining witches and white people today, eh? Don't mind me and go back to your businesses as I bolt off towards the gate, which was straight ahead of me!

Oh I see Marisa already at the end point, waving at me. Damn, that broom flies fast.

Uh oh, I feel somebody coming down from behind me. That's probably the Teach, shit!

Rush Power, fill me up cuz I'll be needing it.

My feet beginning to pump even faster, my heart pounding inside my chest at the exertion, sweat beginning to roll down my temple, people quickly moved out of the way as I ran like absolute hell. There were some folks standing just beside the gate, looking at me as I came closer and closer. Why don't I end this nicely for them?

Once I was less than 30 meters away, I jumped to the air, my knees close to my chest until I landed back to the floor, rolling in the process to kill the momentum. When I was about to rise up to my feet, I cartwheeled, then I began flicking the backhand springs towards the gate.

9, 10, 11, 12, 13, holy hell this is a lot of backhand springs! I underestimated the distance!

Reaching 19 springs, I flicked to a double backflip, noting Keine as she floated in the air, looking at me with some kind of face I couldn't process in the moment before I landed to the floor with a crouch.

Rising to my feet, I pumped my fists and hulked it out, [Woo! Hahahahaha!] I'm clapping my hands above me, people! Join me in the celebrations, yeah, yeah, there we go!

Marisa was pretty much grinning, looking at me with face as if she's saying 'I could do better'. I'd like to see her try but I'd rather not now since I'm getting really tired. This day's been packed with me flipping all over the place, whew.

Walking towards her, she raised a hand for me. High five you want, you get one for the teamwork!

*High-Five!*

"Thanks for the save, Marisa."

"If you plan on doin' this again, call me!"

Deal!

"My goodness, you two!" Uh oh, The Teach's here, and she's looking really upset with us. "You could've hurt someone, you know! And you, Mr. Eman!" Eep! "Just what were you thinking, jumping on someone's rooftops like that!? Don't you realize that you could've hurt yourself!? Plus, you spooked quite a lot of people!"

Okay, this lady prolly never met a lot of people who jump around like that, and since she was the guardian of this place, she's got a reason to be worried. But since this was me she was talking to, I got some words for this.

Holding up my hands submissively, I said, "I admit fault for the further disruptions of people's everyday business with my actions. Whoever it is concerned, please convey my apologies to them." I'll bow here just for sincerity's sake. "But do understand, Ma'am: I will not regret what I have pulled, for that was not the first stunt of my life."

"Those stunts were suicidal! You could've gotten killed!"

Big mistake: you just used the fucking 'S' word, now I'll never listen to you.

"You are not the first person to say that, Ma'am, and would probably not be the first to be right." I looked away, scratching my elbow sheepishly. "But I do promise this: I will not run on the rooftops again, because it would certainly bother the inhabitants and I would not wish to meet their ire."

"That's right." Keine nodded, crossing her arms sternly. "But it's better that you do things that wouldn't put your own life in danger. There is already the Youkai outside the village, it's even worse for you to get killed by your own actions."

"You and I have different views on what could kill me. I know what can and cannot kill me. Besides, these acrobats have been with me since my childhood, the worst thing that could ever happen to me is being eaten by a Youkai, and I intend to not let that happen."

Oh, you look like you're lost on what your next words should be there. Did my argument silence you, Teach? I may be suicidal but that doesn't borderline me being careless, I know how to be cautious just like any other person. A life like mine teaches a lot of things about danger.

Sigh. Well, I got nothing else to say anymore so I'll just bow here, "My apologies for worrying you, Madam Keine. I swear on my life that this incident will not be repeated." I placed an arm over Marisa's shoulder, "I just couldn't resist the urge to play with a friend."

"Yep, we're just playin'! Not like anybody was hurt-da ze!" Yeah, wrap that arm 'round my waist again to show just how much chaos we created in the village with the power of friendship.

An almighty sigh escaped Keine's lips, drooping her head (she gave up) as she brushed a lock of white hair (I really like her hair) behind her ear, looking over the two of us again, "Whatever the case, I only request that you two restrain yourselves next time." Keine advised, slightly glaring at us. "This village is not a battleground for your impulsive competitions after all."

[Yes, Ma'am!]

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Okay. You two have a good day." She bowed courteously. Afterwards, she gave me a nice smile, "I hope you have a pleasant stay in Gensokyo, Mr. Eman."

I nodded with a smile, waving her goodbye, Marisa joins the farewells with a rather enthusiastic hand. Keine returned the wave and turned around, walking away and merging with the crowd that began to disperse until she was gone, leaving her lunch hat to stick out among the sea of heads.

Gotta admit, she was a nice lady. She's really concerned for my well-being there, not a lot of people did that in the Real World before. I like her, I'll give her a visit sometime.

"So…."

So what?

"….Shall we head on to Kourindou now?"

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"Hey, Kourin! Comin' in!"

And Marisa barged right in, sending the door slamming against the adjacent wall. Thank goodness that door had no glass, because the sound of that slam was horribly loud that I heard the wood crack.

"My goodness, Marisa, will you please stop coming in like that?"

And an unmistakably male voice sounds horribly tired of the shit that keeps happening to his poor door.

So this must be the Antique store called 'Kourindou', eh? It's not so big but it looks fairly decent.

Looking at this store, anybody from the real world would definitely feel a sense of reunion upon seeing it. Around the walls of the establishment were pasted with so many posters that TOTALLY do not belong to the classical 1800s. Posters of anime, cars, and others, and they're all Japanese. I guess that hints that this Gensokyo is seriously in Japan, as much as that's obvious.

Outside of the store are remarkable objects that a modern human would recognize instantly. There's a radio over there, 4 tires in an ugly pile, a bike (hey!), and even a stop sign. How the hell did a stop sign end up here? And why is that propane tank right outside the door, next to a barbecue grill?

Whatever. What matters most is that this store is a place where I can go to when I need something. Let's find out if he does have something I would end up liking.

*Knock knock* I knocked on the still open door and entered.

"Coming in." I called, making myself appear a good customer unlike what Marisa pulled should make the store owner give me a good attitude discount.

"Oh! Uh, welcome! Welcome to Kourindou, how may I be of service?"

Jumpy.

And might I say, he's very handsome. If I brought him to the outside world, he'd be hoarding a lot of women. His clothes are traditional Japanese, with a color coding of black on one half and blue on the other half. His Adonis feature was his SILVER HAIR. Add that with his glasses, his literally a looker. Plus he doesn't look old. He could probably be in his twenties right now.

Though, look at his eyes….yellow.

Ahem, "Greetings, store owner. My name is Eman Letitia and I came to browse some of your merchandise and eventually buy one if I ever had the currency to make a purchase." I do have money but all that was literally American. I'm practically and technically poor.

Wait, I'm literally poor, whether here or outside world.

"Oh." Sorry if that broke all your hopes. "But at least that makes you a potential buyer so I have no problem with that." And he managed to stand back up with an air of politeness. Impressive.

"What's your name, good sir? I cannot stand the thought of calling you 'store owner' every time I see you."

"My name's Morichika Rinnosuke," He introduced, extending a hand to me. "And I sell wares that originate from the outside world."

I took his hand and shook it, "Pleased to meet you, and I'm very pleased to know that a store like this is present. It makes convenience for ones like me."

"Much obliged. Though, only outsiders like you come here, which are rarer than a regular customer, and the ones that usually come here are—"

"Hey, Kourin, I'm borrowin' this piece of crap fer a bit, bye! See ya in a bit, Eman!"

Shouted Marisa as she hauled a jerry can (sounded filled) and a blowtorch out the door.

"—less than a proper customer."

"….I see." Poor Rinnosuke boy here must be a victim to some kind of whim Marisa has, and it looked like it's been happening for a long time. Anyway, back to him, "So, if you don't mind, I'll take a look around and see if there is anything that strikes my fancy."

"Oh please do."

Let's see what he got here: TV, fridge, a globe, an old-fashioned western wall clock, a few Japanese comics (neat), Gameboy (nah, not much into that stuff), a few lanterns, 2 sewing machines, a gramophone, outdated calendars (how old is this place?), a few modern umbrellas in a barrel, a moose ornament (never seen those before), old phones, a few books, mp3 (I'll take that one), and a few other mundane stuff.

Is there anything good for me here?

Hmm…..

…..‼

[HOLD IT!‼] NOBODY MOVE OR I'LL SHOOT THE STORE OWNER!

"What! What is it!?"

Pppppp…‼ [PPPPPPHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!] His book flew out of his hands! It was so good I couldn't help myself!

"Mr. Eman, what on earth was that for!?"

[Nononono!] "Just a sudden impulse to scream, is all." I cleared my throat, then pointed to the one thing that leaned against the wall, lonely and looking like it was desperately calling to me. "Is that for sale?'

"Hmm?" He looked at the object of my interests, "Oh, the 'Guitar'. Yes, it is. Does it strike your interests?"

I smirked, "Saying that 'it strikes my interest' is the heaviest form of understatement that you ever said to me." I walked over to the beautiful instrument and picked it up, holding it properly.

Oh look at you. You, girl, are lookin' fine. It's a classical guitar, nylon strings and all, but it looked like there's an amplifier input in it. Nice! Looks well-maintained and is completely in perfect condition. Even its fret board doesn't have the slightest trace of dust. Rinnosuke boy here must be really good at maintaining his merchandise.

"Do you mind if I sample a tune? I've been dying to hold something this for as long as I can remember."

"Oh, no. Not at all. That instrument doesn't have any worth for me, even if I take it as a piece of my collection." He admitted, leaning his elbows on the counter. "I admit, I've been wondering how a 'guitar' is played."

So old-aged Japan isn't familiar with the guitars? Oh well, Rinnosuke boy here gets the first frontal experience.

Just gotta test a strum here, sounds good. The tuning is just right, except for this stupid G string. Damn it, even in Gensokyo this stupid string always fucks itself over. Just gotta readjusted this tune, there we go. Perfect G tune for the G string.

This really takes me back when I started playing the guitar at age 11—actually, more like when I was 8. I wasn't interested at the time until I started seeing my classmate getting attention because he knows how to play. My level of skill would be compared to a basic lead player. I could play the solo of 'Hotel California' but not the solo of 'Sweet Child O mine.' Best way to describe is that I can't make my own solos—improvisation.

But this time, I'll just play the most basic song I've learned when I took rocking lessons for the first time, hopefully I didn't rust too much in the years for this.

One, two, three and…..

|B~~~~~B|

Ah~, how I miss doing this. My plucking fingers unconsciously assumed a pick-hold without even reaching the 20th note, I guess I still haven't lost touch with my muscle-memory. The sound the string makes as they vibrate, intensified by the sound hole of the bass….aw~, man, the goosebumps~

|B~~~~~B|

Instantly going for the chorus, I was immediately tapping my foot and bobbing my head. Without even noticing it, I was already enjoying what I'm doing. I wished I had the money to buy this right off the bat. If I take this home with me to the shrine, I could entertain master with the songs of modern times. I'm sure she'll love them. And this thing's got an amazing sound coming out of its sound hole, how'd you even find a guitar like this, Rinnosuke? This thing's high-quality.

|B~~~~~B|

I didn't even realize I was smiling until now. Looks like my Musician's Spirit never really left at all, the Runner Spirit was just a little substitute. How I missed thee, and I'm glad you never left my life.

|B~~~~~B|

It feels SO good to be back. And I didn't even wore a strap to hold up the guitar or even brought up a knee to rest the base on, looks like I really didn't get rusty.

"Aaah." And scene. That ends all that,

*Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.*

"Encore, encore. That was mighty nice, Mr. Eman." Ah, the old audience chorus, thank you, Rinnosuke boy.

If I buy this thing, I might become popular with copyrights in this village. Not that anybody in here could notice. He~he~he~he~he~he~he~he

"Unfortunately, I cannot purchase it." I dreadfully say, shaking my head. "Tut, tut, tut. Such a pity." I placed it back against the wall. Don't worry, my pretty, soon, you'll be in my arms and we'll be singing merrily as we walk the roads of Gensokyo.

"If you want it so much, then I'll make a discount for you when you come back with the money. 50% off, I'll reserve it in your name."

Well, I'm starting to think that you and I are going to be best friends, Rinnosuke boy. "My deepest gratitude to you, Rinnosuke boy." I walked close to his counter and rested my back against it. "How did you manage to acquire all these?"

"The Hakurei shrine is a form of gateway from here to the outside world. Objects like these are often found there, sometimes they're found at the edge of the border, more so at Muenzuka graveyard. The case is that it's always by accident did they end up in Gensokyo."

I turned to face him over my shoulder, "Do you know how to use modern day objects?"

"Well," He adjusted his glasses, having a conflicted look on his face as he looked up from his book, "I could 'learn' the name and the utility of the object merely by touching but….I don't know how to use them."

….

Huh.

Touching one thing gives him name and usage, but not the proper handling? How the hell does that even work?

"You mean you do not know how to manipulate them?"

He nodded bitterly, "More or less, and sometimes I get so confused that it's annoying."

At least there's that side effect. Why don't I make it easy for him? I could use something to occupy myself while I'm here. "If you want, may I give you a clear oversight as to how they are properly used?"

"What!?" You dropped the book again, and this time I'm containing myself just to spare you from presuming that I'm fucking with you, because I'm not. "You mean it!? Truly!?"

I nodded, turning around to face him, "Sure. Since you mentioned earlier that your 'proper customers' are rare of coming by, I figured I should help you remove the question marks off your head."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!" He even had to grab my hands and bow, Japan is so earnest. "You don't know how much this means to me."

"Consider it a treat from me, and I will expect more than a few of these wares being sold after one week."

Even if God had forgiven me, I feel like I still haven't done enough to compensate for my crimes. Doing an act of kindness would certainly be appreciative. Plus I don't mind doing this at all. I pretty much missed being close to modern things since I came to this beautiful paradise.

Being in the shrine sure gives an experience of the 1800s, but it's not a bad thing.

It was everything I ever wanted.

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

It was quite a while, let's say a good 5 hours. Lots of words have been said, saliva's been spilled, and hospitable tea has been consumed in breaks. Plus he's got some apples, my favorite.

Rinnosuke boy was very knowledgeable and intuitive, but at the wrong areas however.

When he tries to explain one object about his discovery on its uses and name, he goes into absurd detail about his speculations on the origin of the name, its possible uses, and even possible origins while at the same time referencing other texts of subjects I don't even know about that it all-in-all sounds so logical it sounds like bullshit. I can't believe I just listened to a troll logic lecture about a fucking blender for fucking 30 minutes! Since when was that thing a fucking torture instrument that was once a living being!? Did he think we just shove our prisoner's hand inside and let the fucking thing munch on it till it's rendered to fucking mulch!?

I basically told him to shut up before he could reach one hour. All that speculation of his was absolute bullshit that I was seriously tempted to punch him in the fucking head, break open his skull, and try to find out what kind of brain he has to even come up with those things. Since I didn't, I simply made him take down notes on what I have said about the proper usage and kept him from saying anything else besides asking questions.

After going back to the main shopping area, I felt really heavy, especially with my mouth vibrating on the inside from all the talking I've did. Sure proves that talking must be so exhausting than running, damn. Good thing my body has resupplied its energy fuel.

"Once again, Mr. Eman. Thank you."

"Once again, Rinnosuke boy, stop thanking me. But you're welcome. Your store will grab the village's attention at this rate."

"Yes, all thanks to you. Oh! Wait here." He went behind the counter and rummaged at one of the cupboards.

Oh fuck, the sound of money clinking just triggered my money-nabbing urges. Hey, Klepto-Eman, how was life? Here's some piece of advice, take a hike and Get the Fuck out of my Life! I don't need you anymore! I'M THROUGH STEALING!

…

After a few seconds, he comes back. "Here you go, a token of my appreciation." He said, extending a handful of coins to me.

"Whoa, hold on, Rinnosuke boy." I held a hand up, "If you do that, you will only end up making me guilty." His store is still beaten even if it's going to become popular in a matter of days, he needs it more.

"Please, I will not end the day satisfied if I don't pay you back for all the trouble you've done for me." He extended his handful of coins even more to me, "Just take them, I could pretty much earn them back in a matter of days now that I know what my wares can finally do."

….Hmm, well, I can't argue with that logic.

"Okay. This time it's my turn to say thank you." I took the money in my hand, looks like a big load here. Placing them in my pocket before zipping it closed, I faced him. "Thank you."

"Much obliged. Do you have anything else to do?"

I looked outside. Looks like it's about to turn dark in about an hour. Can't have myself walking through all that forestry in the darkness, I'd be easy pickings for the Youkai. I ain't gonna take chances by picking a fight with one either, I guess I'll go back to the shrine now.

"None. I will head home now. See you again, Rinnosuke boy."

I walked for the door, still open. It's fortunate that this place is slightly far from the village. Nobody came in and robbed. Not that they'll know what to do with anything here. They're too old-fashioned to be in the real world.

"Oh, Mr. Eman."

"Yes?"

"You can take that guitar with you if you like."

OH FUCK YES!‼

"No. Don't you even start." I spatted, pointing a finger at him. Damn it, why did I reject? "I've been spoiled enough for one day." Vampires, living gods, bird people, Kappas (whatever they are), and women with the strength of more than a thousand men, Gensokyo simply spoiled me rotten of my fantasy dreams. I don't need anymore, especially with something that I wanted to have for a long time.

Hmm. "Maybe tomorrow, or when I feel the need for it, I will take it with me." Yeah, sounds like a good idea. I'll take it tomorrow. "Good afternoon, Rinnosuke boy."

"Don't be a stranger!"

*Closing door*

….

…..

Where the hell is Marisa?

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

Marisa left me behind, I don't know where the hell I am, I don't know where the hell the shrine is, I forgot to pinpoint said shrine while I was joy riding with Marisa, and worst of all, I forgot to ask for directions from the village now that I just walked out of it.

Now, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere!

[DAMMIT!] I'm so pissed I ended up kicking a stupid pebble into the fucking lake!

I passed through a path in some forest and now I'm near the place that is unmistakably called the Misty Lake. I don't know much about ground clouds a lot but I know that Mists don't come out in a sunny day. Another one of Gensokyo's crazy front flipping naked in the park on the middle of the day. Right now, the lake is so misty that I can't see past 10 meters away and the only thing I can see is the sun, which barely poked through the obscurities.

Wait, wasn't there a mansion here? I remembered seeing one before the two of us blasted off the waters. I think it was around…..

There! There it is. It's right on a ridge, and damn it looked so red from here, and its quite big despite how far it is from me. Quite a walk, including the hill that leads up to it, but I could take it, I'm not that tired yet. There's some convenient road that leads to it, and it looks like the road I'm taking coincides to it as well. Awesome! Maybe I could ask for directions from one of the people there.

….

Okay, this place is starting to look ominous the closer I get to it, especially with its red paintjob. Now I remember Marisa saying about a vampire living here, but I'm not worried, the sun's still out. That makes the worry of getting myself involved in involuntary bloodletting go away, if a little. Some evil henchmen inside could kidnap me and drag me inside the sooner I come closer but eh, I'll be living the Gensokyo experience in the process anyway.

Who says that a suicidal person can't go upfront to danger like that? Who did?

Okay, I'm near the gate and stood at the center of the black gate is a…..woman. She could be the gate guard for the abode but she looked out of place. She had a green beret with a star on her head and she wore something akin to Chinese traditional costume. She looked like a complete mid-20s woman, she's remarkably tall, almost as tall as me. 6 feet.

And she's asleep.

While standing.

….….….

Yup, this is definitely the girl named 'China' Marisa told me about. Sleep-standing is something people with a fine muscle-structure could pull off. And is she so strong that she could even pull that off? She really looks like she's enjoying her nap.

Is this appropriate, even?

Gatekeepers are people who watch the entrance of their clients abode or place of work. They grant access to guests and welcome them, they also keep troublemakers out. When it comes to security, gatekeepers are one of the most crucial. Bodyguards are a thing, but gatekeepers are the only ones placed outside, where they got a clear overview of everything. They must keep vigilant at any suspicious movements and report immediately once the danger arrives.

This gate guard is not doing her job right.

I'll wake her up. Not gonna impose on what I thought just now, I'll just ask for directions.

"Excuse me, miss?"

*Snores*

"Miss?*

*Snores*

Sigh, you asked for it, China.

*Inhales* [HEY, WAKE UP!‼]

*Snores*

….

Huh.

….….

That's a really deep sleep.

….….….

It's even more amazing that she's standing and not having her head hung low. She's just cross armed, her head is just tilted just a teeny bit to the right, and her mouth is close to drooling. From afar, no one would suspect she's sleeping at all. It would look like she's just having a Zen moment in her cross-armed pose.

Just….….wow.

[For a Chinese girl named China, you sure know how to take a break on the job.]

*Punch!*

[OOWUUII‼]

*Thud* Everything blacks out.

My fucking….back…! Fell on it again….!

..ugh…

"Oh my gods, what happened to you, Sir!?"