The Shrine of Gensokyo
Chapter 24: Of Meeting a Goddess
Original Creator: ZUN, Shanghai Alice
Author's Notes: Before the flames, comments start, I've liked to clarify that this has no link whatsoever to the original series After Mountain of Faith and during Subterranean Animism, the reason being that I've drafted the concept and tried to finish it before the other games, notably, the Extra Stage where Koishi Komeji duels with Marisa/Reimu, it is stated that Sanae would have known Suwako, which is in consequence made this part of the story not part of the canon story line.
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The Author would like to point out that this is a Fanfiction, listed in the and in other websites which I may have posted in the past, therefore is in no way canon.
Again, reserve judgement after the end of the chapter, I implore you, even if it might stand in conflict with your beliefs.
The setting takes place 14 years after she left, probably after SA and not MoF, it is conceivable that the time gap might have resulted in the scenario below.
With that in mind, please do read on.
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[… what's wrong…]
Wondering to myself as I sat at the porch, I stroked the hair of my two fairy companions as I waited for Sanae to return. My intuition as a woman told me that I should leave her alone for a while for her to think through this by herself.
[…]
Sipping on a cup of tea that she had prepared, I took it easy for a moment as I looked at her garden and took in the sight.
She did had a green thumb and I stood up, wanting to look at it closer but I visibly hesitated when my two companions tugged on my sleeves.
No, No, no!
I understood their concern, sensing something or someone powerful in the vicinity and so did I.
There is something in the grounds of the Moriya Shrine, the main reason why I was surrounded by yellow and green lights before, someone of great power that was forgotten by the Shrine Maiden of the Moriya Shrine.
[Don't worry… I think…]
Reluctantly, I smiled and pinched their cheeks, straightened my sleeves and walked into the garden.
[…]
The garden was lifeless to the untrained eyes and even with mine, which are able to see the faintest of spirits; I could see no such signs of spiritual activity in the Moriya Shrine Grounds.
No floating spirits relaxing under the sunlight, no spirits peeping their heads curiously at me as I smiled at them as I passed them, no white orbs of spiritual power leaking from the Shrine except from a pair of wooden logs jutting out from the ground.
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Upon closer inspection I realized they were the sacred logs of the Moriya Shrine and I bent down to pray to those logs when something caught my eye.
The rippling of the air in a particular spot as my eyes went over it intrigued me and I stood up and crept towards it to get a better look at that spot. To my surprise and disbelief, it ran away from me as I approached it. The ruffling of the grass in it's wake gave it away and I leapt to tackle it down.
In hindsight now, it was foolish of me but my curiosity got the better of me at that particular moment.
[O-oW!]
Landing on my stomach, my leap had proven fruitless as I saw once again, the ruffling of the bushes as the invisible person just ran away from me.
[W-Wait! Wait a minute!]
From my sleeves I drew a couple of amulets and expertly flung them into the air in the general direction.
[Hakurei Homing Amulet: GO!]
Running after her, lady luck must not be on my side today as I tripped and fell heavily on the ground again, leaving me with scratches and have cuts all over my elbow.
[… Not my day…]
Looking up, I saw the few amulets continue their flight and all of a sudden, slapping themselves on what seemed to be nothing but air.
[Eh!]
The amulets glowed and as they did, I felt something shift in the air around me and as my hands raise higher and higher, I felt something brush against mine.
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[…?]
Evil Spirit?
[… Let me offer this humble prayer to you… spirit which I can't yet see..]
Closing my eyes, I did what I was expected to do at any circumstance, as any good Shrine Maiden would do, is to pray.
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[Hear my prayer, my small and humble prayer…
May you draw strength from me, just how I draw strength from you…
Lend me strength, accept my faith…
Please, spirits… hear my humble prayer…
Accept my faith and… accept my strength…
May nothing be said, yet everything be said…
Let only my heart be my voice…
Listen to my soul, listen to my song…
As I depend on you, let you depend on me…]
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Finishing my prayer and squashing my fears and unease at the same time, I opened my eyes and saw that the invisible person was visible now.
Wearing a brown wide brimmed hat, she sighed as she placed one hand on her hip. Brushing her blonde hair back, which was down to her knees, she removed her hat and placed it on the ground beside her. Decorating the hat was two frog eyes and while she removed the amulets still stuck on her clothes, the frog print design on her top was revealed.
[Well… what do you want, Hakurei… for calling upon me… not that I mind…]
Speaking to me in a voice that reminded me of my seniors in the Shrine and one that is more mature than even Miss Yasaka, she placed a hand on her lip before inviting me to sit down in front of her.
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[It has been… forever since anyone saw me… and definitely not in this form.]
[T-This form?]
[Oh yes, you've forgotten and you probably could not recognize me in this state.]
Blinking, she straightened her dress before bending down and pinching my cheeks mischievously.
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[I am the Patron Goddess of the Moriya Shrine, Moriya Suwako]
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[Is… is this the only way?]
[… This cannot be averted… even with all the variables in the world… our fate is linked to this event.]
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[… no way… even with my power…]
[It would be living hell… no doubt about that…]
[… would… we be the only one left?]
[… if you call that living…]
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[Can't we change this fate?]
[…]
[…]
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[… No matter what, this is fate… for us to meet here. For us to have our fate changed and averted to this route.]
[Fate can still be changed, if we worked together.]
[Is this the only way… that we can change this grim destiny of ours.]
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[Fate, is different from destiny even though they have the same meaning. With my power, fate can be shown and displayed to me… Destiny, is the one variable that I cannot change, even though, it is canonically stated for Fate and Destiny to be the same…]
[That one person, who can change destiny… and change fate. Is she at the heart of this?]
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[She is not the cause of it… she is the solution for it… what we can do…]
[Is to change our own.]
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[And to change hers….]
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[That is all we can do…]
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[T-The Patron Goddess?]
Falling to my knees, I trembled at the thought of knowing two goddesses in one day and in the time span of only a few hours, that is remarkable.
[Well, are you going to ask me something, Hakurei? After all, you called upon me and I replied, I showed myself, didn't I?]
Sounding irritated, she waited patiently as I untied my tongue and spoke.
My voice was trembling and rightly so, the figure in front of me was a goddess but a goddess that was way beyond the caliber of Miss Yasaka Kanako, she is a being of high power and with her; carried an aura of omnipotence around her that made me stiff with nervousness just looking at her.
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[W-Well… I…]
[? Hmm.. .speak up… it's not every day that I show myself…]
Smiling, she seemed to radiate something that reminded me of happiness and sadness at the same time as she crossed her arms and waited for my questions.
[L-Lady Suwako…]
[yes?]
[What… is your other form?]
[… Oh.]
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Blinking in surprise, she did not seem offended but rather surprised as she just took off her hat and placed it on my head.
[Hold on to it for me. I'll show you.]
Smiling and waving a finger cheekily at me, Lady Suwako pulled the hat over my eyes and in the next moment when I pushed up the hat, I saw in front of me a little girl instead of the woman that was in front of me before.
[Are you surprised?]
Giggling, she struggled to reach for her hat and I bent down to offer her hat back to her. It felt weird to look at her in this way now that I've seen her… other form.
It felt a little silly but even thou deep down I know she is a goddess, I just could not treat her as one and I wanted to pat her head and pinch her cheeks.
Doing that would surely irk her off and earn her divine wrath and so I refrained myself.
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[Y-yes, Lady Suwako…]
[Hmph, I suppose so. It must be disappointing. Let me reintroduce myself. I am Moriya Suwako, Ex-Patron Goddess of the Moriya Shrine. Hakurei, I did not expect you to be able to call upon me, not to mention even see me….]
Looking a little wistful, Lady Suwako returned to her full glory with a snap of her fingers as she sat beside me, running a hand through my hair before bending down and kissing me on my forehead.
[Hakurei, ask away. What do you need me for…]
[… I… I just wanted to know… who was hiding in the garden… t-that's why…]
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Knowing I sound silly in admitting this, I still told her that as I could not lie in front of someone so holy and revered as a goddess even thou she admitted that she is no longer the Patron Goddess of the Moriya Shrine, she is still a goddess.
[.. ha… hahaha…]
Instead of reprimanding me, she laughed and she laughed so hard she had to clutch her stomach to stop herself from falling off the small seat that we shared together. Tears of laughter came rolling down her cheeks and I soon joined in her laughter while my two companions just tilted their heads at me quizzically.
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[… It's been a while, since I've laughed so much, Hakurei]
Patting my head as I lay on her lap, I felt a little abashed but Lady Suwako insisted in me resting on her lap. To others who did not see her, it must be quite an amazing sight, the Hakurei Shrine Maiden lying on what seemed to be mid-air and talking to someone that was not there.
In my old home, I would have been labeled as crazy and insane if I would be spotted doing something like that, but this was Gensokyo, a world where spirits and youkai exists and everyone acknowledges them.
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My home and my refuge from the prying eyes of others…
Lady Suwako told me how they came here, why they did it and how life has changed for them.
She was happy here, even though she is never acknowledged as her powers were never manifested through the Moriya Shrine due to one simple fact.
[I am not their goddess, not anymore… anyway. And never will be, again.]
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A little wistfully again, she told me as she ruffled my hair and played with my two companions. She is truly a wonderful motherly figure and even with me nearing the age of thirty, I felt comforted by her presence just as if she was my real mother.
[… does that mean… even Sanae can'-]
Cutting me off suddenly, she placed a hand over my mouth and she held it there for a moment as she looked down at me, serene in her smile but rigid in her movement.
She seemed, strained somehow and just as suddenly, I fell from her lap to land on the seat that we shared. It was as if she was a ghost and I could not touch her anymore, nor can she touch me as she sighed and stood up, passing through me like I was nothing.
[See… your faith is the only thing keeping me… intact, Hakurei.]
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Straightening my back, I watched as Lady Suwako drifted across the yard to a few yards between the Shrine and the sacred logs when she raised her hands up in the air.
The sunlight, shining down from the heavens converged around her and when she snapped her fingers, orbs of green light converged around her and landed on her shoulders. With a further wave of her hands, the entire shrine grounds were covered with the green orbs that shone dimly.
[… Hakurei, this is faith… every single orb of light is faith, power that we can draw from faith… the more a person has faith in the Moriya Shrine, the more faith is gathered here and the more we can manifest our virtues. It is something like food to us, a source of our power and our strength.]
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Explaining to me, Lady Suwako seem to get fader and more transparent as beads of sweat started forming on her forehead and when she finally lowered her hands, she collapsed to the floor and when I reached her, she had reverted back to her child form and was still breathing heavily when I lifted her up with my arms. She was surprisingly light, just like air and I brought her back to the shade where I immediately fell to my knees in front of her and started praying softly to her.
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[Lady Suwako, hear my prayer…
Hear my soft prayer through your heart, may my prayer echo with your heart…
Just as how I believe in you,
Just as how I place faith in you…
Place faith in me,
Lend me your strength,
While I lend you mine…
Hear my prayer, lady Suwako…]
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A simple prayer and a desperate prayer but if it works it works and as I finished, the color returned to Lady Suwako's face and I breathed a sigh of relief by her just smiling at me. She was not just fading away to nothing; she was getting thinner and frailer by the second.
Raising a shivering finger, she poked my cheeks and laughed weakly at me, slowly forcing out the words.
[… H-Hakurei…]
[Lady Suwako, what is it! Please, please don't die!]
[I… don't die… silly]
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Enduring a sharp pinch by her, I laughed nervously as I felt Lady Suwako's weight literally disappear into thin air.
[H-Hakurei…]
[Yes, Lady Suwako!]
[In this world… there are things you… can't really see…]
[…]
[But as long as you… open your… heart to them… Hakurei…]
Coughing, Lady Suwako seemed to have given up on the inner struggle and in a puff of smoke, reverted back to her child form.
[Ah darn…]
[…]
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The moment was lost on me as she threw a small temper tantrum while still lying on the ground and I must say that she looked terribly silly doing that. It was not befitting of a goddess, especially someone as powerful as Lady Suwako and I was a tad disappointed by her behavior.
[I wanted to retain this form for a little longer… but it seems, I've used up too much power, Hakurei.]
Explaining to me as she pouted in front of me, Lady Suwako raised both her hands up in the air and I watched as out of the blue, yellow orbs circled around her and were seemingly absorbed into her body, making her glow a little in the mid day sun.
[To tell you the truth, Hakurei… Goddess can die, but it's not… dying as you humans view it.]
[What do you mean, Lady Suwako…]
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[Goddess and Gods die by simply having not enough faith gathered in their name, rendering them unable to manifest their virtues. That is the death of a goddess, being unable to manifest their physical forms and of course, not being able to gather faith any longer.
Many goddess and gods in the human world, the world you returned from, Hakurei, has 'died' in this manner. Lost souls with amazing power and abilities, but not being able to show them or to use them due to lack of faith…]
[I, I don't quite understand… Lady Suwako…]
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Watching me scratch my head, Lady Suwako gently smiled and her smiled echoed that of her previous form's motherly smile and as her hands ran through my hair, I could not stop myself and I grabbed her in a massive hug.
My two companions, seemingly jealous, hugged me tightly too as I felt two small clumps cling on to me from the back.
[I do not expect you to understand… nor ever to understand.. it is something that you would never experience… but… it is simply… making us not being able to be… real.]
[Reality, is subject to the five senses. Touch, feel, see, smell and taste… if a person cannot sense an object or a thing with this five senses, it is not 'real'….]
[I… I understand a little… that is like, people treating spirits and ghosts?]
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Looking up, I saw her smiling face and I felt very much embarrassed when she giggled and poked my cheek again as if she was reprimanding me.
[That's right… the sixth sense, the mind… if a person's mind can perceive me… like all the previous generations, they will be able to see me… I have many forms and everyone who views me is different… it is the sixth sense that shapes me and shape what I look like…
My powers are only as strong as the faith that drives me, no matter how powerful my power is…]
Her words scared me and encouraged me at the same time. By the same token, as long as I placed faith in Lady Suwako, she would reasonably still exist, right?
[No, Hakurei….]
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Reading my mind, Lady Suwako shook her head and tapped my forehead warningly.
[You are not the Moriya Shrine Maiden… you are the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, never forget who you are and who you are serving.]
[But, Lady Suwako… I, I just…]
[Belief in spirits, belief in people and belief in Gensokyo…that is you, Hakurei Reimu…]
Standing up, Lady Suwako slowly walked away from me, shaking away my hand and brushing away the two fairies that tugged at her hair.
[Hakurei.]
When she turned back, she made my heart stop in fear as her eyes were devoid of emotion and they seemed to be bottomless pits with a single yellow dot at the middle.
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When she spoke, the hair at the back of my neck stood up as her voice sounded so empty that I was afraid that it would infect me with the same feeling of emptiness that I suddenly felt from her.
The feeling that she was sending out by just standing there can only be described with one word:
Despair
Seeing her like that tore me apart but like I said earlier, made me fear her as well. I do not want to drop as deep into the deep trenches of despair like Lady Suwako.
The very fact that she was even smiling with that lost and forlorn look on her face was miraculous and perhaps, deep inside she still has hope, a thin thread of hope holding her and her dangling from the deep abyss of despair.
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[Don't… don't forget that… and forget me, Hakurei. Serve your goddess… serve her well.]
[But, B-But!]
[DO NOT INSULT THE MORIYA SHRINE MAIDEN, HAKUREI!]
Screaming suddenly, Lady Suwako broke away from me and ran towards the side of the Shrine that was covered with trees while I just stood there for a moment before reality kicked me in the shin and made me start moving again.
[Lady Suwako!]
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Hurriedly getting up, I chased after her rapidly disappearing figure, diving into bushes, leaping across thorny hedges when I finally 'cornered' her crying at the front of a small pond.
[L-Lady… Huff… huff… Suwako…]
[Leave me alone, Hakurei! You're not the Moriya Shrine Maiden! You are NOT!]
Shaking her head and gripping her hand tightly, Lady Suwako turned and lashed out at me with her hands. Streams of green light jumped from her fingers and wherever those lights hit the ground, I felt small tremors as the ground beneath me shifted and ached with her power.
Still, Lady Suwako clearly struggled to keep herself in plain view as she suddenly blinked out of view and then back into view again. She was clearly singing her swan song as she slowly waded into the pool, resembling much like a child wanting to end her life and I hurriedly ran forward to stop her.
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[Lady Suwako!]
[HANDS OFF!]
Pushing me away, Lady Suwako cried out loudly as she ran deeper into the pond, leaving me crestfallen and sitting in the pool itself.
[You're not Sanae! Not Sanae! Not… not my Sanae…]
Crying out by herself in the middle of the lake, Lady Suwako slowly sank to her knees as she pounded her hands repeatedly onto the soft soggy ground of the lake. The murky water splashed onto her skirt but she paid them no heed even as her white top gradually had spots of brown all over it.
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[W-Why… why must it be you, Hakurei… why… why not Sanae… why are you not Sanae… not Sanae…]
Muttering to herself, she was lost in her own world and did not even respond when my hands went all around her and squeezed her tightly. She was soft and squishy, just like how I imagined her to be and as I pressed her against my bosoms, I felt her sob a little and her hands slowly curled around mine and squeezed it tightly.
It felt comforting, comforting that she had finally accepted my concern for her and she was not running away from me anymore. But, it still felt like a hollow victory as I was still no closer to my goal of finding Marisa or knowing what she is so upset about.
[Lady Suwako… wh-what's wrong…]
[I… I watched Sanae as she was born… took… t-took care of her…. My Sanae…]
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Sobbing, Lady Suwako slowly related to me that she had looked over Sanae ever since she was born.
The way she smiled and the way her hands were held out in front of her reminded me of a mother rocking her baby to sleep and Lady Suwako told me of the times she had to just that to make Sanae fall asleep.
Sanae's mother was not Lady Suwako but she could see Lady Suwako… it is just that she died while giving birth to Sanae, orphaning her as her father had left her mother a few years prior to the birth of Sanae.
It was both fortunate and unfortunate that Sanae's mother was the Moriya Shrine Maiden as Lady Suwako and Lady Yasaka took turns to look after Sanae.
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[When she was young… she could see me… I was so happy then, to play with her and tell stories to her… tucking her to bed and sleeping with her… Yasaka-chan too was very happy with Sanae as she could use her divine powers at a very young age…]
But, as Lady Suwako told me, all that changed when Sanae entered school…
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[One day… Wanting to greet her at school… I used my powers to save Sanae from being run over by a truck… but… like before, Hakurei… I used up all the faith Sanae had in me… I could, hardly be seen by my shrine maiden… my Sanae… … I… I…]
Sobbing again, Lady Suwako buried her hat and her face into my clothes while I awkwardly tried to comfort her by stroking her hair repeatedly.
My two companions seem at a lost to what to do as well as they sat on either side of my shoulders and fluttered their wings slowly and forlornly.
[… If there is one wish… one wish… I have left… Hakurei…]
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Suddenly speaking after a brief spell of silence, Lady Suwako looked up at me and smiled, smiled a bitter sweet and lonely smile as she whispered her wish to me.
[!]
The wind blew away and masked the exchange of words we had but from a distance anyone could see the shock that I expressed through my eyes and my actions, covering my mouth with my hand.
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[L-Lady Suwako, y-you can't!]
[I said… if I can, Hakurei… for now… I can't… I am nothing, nothing at all.]
Bitterly, her tone returned to that of a lady, a very disturbed and sad lady at that and as the both of us stood up, she reminded me again.
[Hakurei, you are the Hakurei Shrine Maiden… Serve her well.]
[I always do, Lady Suwako.]
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[… Reimu.]
[Yes?]
[Can you see her?]
[… I can't.]
[… I see…]
Looking down to her feet, Lady Suwako did not see anything more than that as she followed my lead back to the Moriya Shrine.
[Reimu, promise me….]
[I will, I won't tell Sanae about you, Lady Suwako…]
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Biting my lip, I squeezed some of the water from my hakama as I looked at Lady Suwako, sitting on a rock just in front of the grounds. I was gone for more than an hour and I hope that Sanae was not panicking at not finding me here in the grounds.
[… Thank you, Reimu… …]
[Is that… fine, Lady Suwako? To not… let Sanae know…]
[… I'm always with Sanae… always will be… till the day I can fulfill my wish.]
Smiling, Lady Suwako raised a hand and waved rigidly at me, a wave that I and my two companions returned energetically as we turned and pulled open the sliding doors of the Shrine.
[W-Wait!]
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Calling me back, I turned back, puzzled at the sudden exclamation by Lady Suwako and I waited for her to say.
[… Reimu… Every god and goddess has a form… that same goes for Hakurei…]
[You mean, the great Hakurei Spirit? I can't see her yet… but, I am sure I will, eventually, I'll just have to work harder, much harder.]
[…]
She seemed at a loss of words and as I watched her, she finally relented and nodded her head.
[Like I am always with Sanae… Hakurei will always be with you, Reimu.]
[Mm!]
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Saying farewell to her, I slid the doors behind me and started walking towards the room where I had left before going over to the yard.
On the small table was a small note and as I read it, my expression immediately changed and I hurriedly got to my feet and ran straight for the ground again.
[Oh no, Lady Yasaka was summoning me!]
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Watching Reimu running straight for Yasaka-chan, I shook my head as I turned back to looking at the clouds.
[Sanae…]
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Remembering how adorable she was and the smile and the kisses the young Sanae would give me was painful but nostalgic at the same time.
It was a time I would never give up no matter what…
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[…]
Still, there was still the issue of, her…
[… I was not lying… my servant would see me… if I have enough faith from her, that is…]
[…]
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Silence greeted me but I was expecting silence as I just laughed and pulled down my hat for the brim to cover my eyes.
[you're just not showing yourself, aren't you?]
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Looking behind me, I narrowed my eyes seriously as I asked her, the person that everyone but me had missed.
[Hakurei….]
Author's Notes: I'll reply any review from this chapter. Pinky promise.
But, i started work.
And you know what happens after that.