Steward Of Paradise At Work

by Tall-Gothic-Guy

I didn't come here to meet shrine maidens or monsters. I didn't come here to erect a cross. No one even told me about magic being a thing here. Actually, I didn't expect myself to be here at all. I was simply chasing a woman who created eye portals. But it beats being a runaway thief. I just wish I knew sooner, that this place will never give me a break, not even God...Bring it on.

21. Yukari and Security Don't Mix

A pale hand rested against rusted metal, small clacking noises coming from the point of red fingernails accidently tapping the surface. "Flan?"

…..

"Flan, sweetie?" She tapped her knuckles against the steel, creating a light pang. "It's your Big sister. Are you awake?"

Her enhanced senses caught the sound of rustling bed sheets, small grunts, and the smother of blankets. Was she sleeping on the bed instead of her coffin? "Onee-sama?"

Remilia's brow furrowed upon hearing the response. That was not a voice frequency she familiarized her little sister with. It sounded…low. "Flan? Is that you?"

"I…" A yawn was let out behind the door. "…I just fell asleep….my clothes are too tight…even my nightdress. Don't come in, I'm naked. Hold on."

There it goes again, that low tone that belonged to somebody far older than Flandre amidst the noise of someone scouring over clothing. Despite such an oddity, every instinct within Remilia told her that this voice was indeed Flandre, her dearly beloved little sister.

Then she remembered that Flandre had drank the boy's holy blood in their conflict two nights ago, as reported by the goblins. Her mouth slowly gaped at the possibilities that came to mind, her already-pale face whitening even further.

No….could it be…

She set her face in a firm grimace and said, "Flan, I'm coming in, okay?"

"What!? No! I'm not dressed yet!" Such a response was a clincher to what she suspected was the case; that kind of attitude was never present when it comes to the both of them.

Nonetheless, Remilia continued to act like nothing is out of the ordinary. "It's okay, Flan. It's just me, there's nothing to be ashamed about." She placed her hand on one of the rusted handles and pushed, ignoring the grating noise of rusty metal grinding against stone and another metal.

As one side of the door was agape without slamming against the adjacent wall, her night vision allowed her to see the state of Flandre's room. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, everything she saw before she last stepped foot into this room was still the same. The scattered clothing on the floor, nightwear or otherwise, is more or less a standard here. The state of the sofa that faced the fireplace, however, was not what she last remembered it. It looked like it had been lit on fire and was hurriedly doused.

If she was to remember, the Christian had stepped foot here after her scuffle with him (as reported by Jergo), and he had recently discovered his dominion over fire beforehand. She furrowed her brows once again; she is not liking the implications here.

"Flan? What happened earlier…..?"

Remilia's eyes widened completely, dumbfounded at the sight that hid her bosom with the scarlet blankets of her four-poster bed. Even if she had no night vision like a human, the gem lights illuminated the little sister completely, and exposed everything of what she has become after a single day without seeing her.

As Remilia slowly recovered her thoughts, she finally concluded that the coffin that rested on the floor will never befit someone like Flandre anymore, for two different reasons.

One….is that her skin tone does not say that she's…dead anymore. As vampires are undead, they blend the line between dead and living. But the girl's appearance implied that she had begun leaning to one side now.

"…Onee-sama? Why are you looking at me like that…?" Flandre meekly asked, bringing the blanket even higher to cover herself, showing nothing below her eyes. "Did I do something bad? Is this because of what I did to Emannuello?"

Two is that…that….

It took all of Remilia's willpower to not run over to her little sister and embrace the unlife out of her with all the gratefulness for the unwitting success of her failed plan. Her quiet heart had perked, her eyes threatened to tear up, and her composure is close to the breaking point. The flashbacks of a 500 year old past wasn't helping either. Still, she kept her voice leveled and mature, maintaining the image of a strong and dependable elder sister. "No, Flan….I'm not here for whatever happened two nights ago."

"Then…" Flandre's wings unfurled slightly, framing her little naked form with each gems' light. "…why are you here?"

Remilia gave a warm smile, walking over to the side of the bed to kneel on the sheets without breaking out the urge to envelope her in her arms and wings. Level with her sister, she took hold of the fingers that held the blanket and uncurled them to intertwine each other's digits, letting the shade of modesty fall down on Flandre's lap and reveal her bare preadolescent torso. While the color of life was there, shades of healthy white skin was still present. A mark of her father's physical resemblance.

It has been five centuries since I have last seen you.

Flandre was flustered and very red on the face (a completely foreign reaction whenever in her elder sister's presence, especially in her bedroom), but Remilia paid no mind to such a thing and spoke, "My dear little sister, I have a little surprise for you, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be something you'll like."

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

…..

"Mm….I love this line. 'Humans, youkai, gods, and other beings are the animals and plants in the Good of that environment'. Us Youkai, gods, and humans will be the animals indeed while in a way, the fairies are the plants. I love this comparison, Eman. Good job."

I….I actually don't know what the hell is going on….

"Oh and then there's this: 'every negativity in Gensokyo is the Bad that destroys us, but even then, Gensokyo will thrive through both'. I don't know how you figured that but it's frankly true. Incidents can potentially affect Gensokyo's well-being, even at catastrophic levels, but even such a time benefits the entire land. The people grow strong and mature from it, new faces come and stay, and even knowledge comes with them. Truly valuable spoils."

….could somebody tell me why the hell am I here…?

"I must know, Eman, how did your conception of Gensokyo come to be? How did you even know that even Gensokyo thrives on adversity, despite never facing them for the first time?"

….I can't believe this…..I can't fucking believe this…..

[….you kidnapped me….just to ask that?]

Yukari pouted, closing the newspaper like some kind of book. "I wouldn't say 'kidnap', that would just be extreme." Your insincerity is leaking, woman…! "I would prefer the term 'borrowing', since I have to excuse you from my little Reimu's service."

…What?

[And you didn't even leave a word of warning…!?] I asked incredulously, bringing my hands up. [The hell, Yukari!? I was having a moment!]

She gave me a snide look, "Showing yourself up to the strongest of the Devas to gain more approval points?"

Pfft! [She asked me to retell, in case you're not even aware! First of all, I don't like showin' up! I'll just end up looking like some cocky fuckhead!]

A loud cleared throat erupts out of her, "Language, Eman." Yukari chided. "You are in my household, show respect. You can only curse when I'm the guest."

[Bu-but you t-t-haaaagh! FINE!] How 'bout yelling, that don't count, right!? [Oi….seriously. Outta nowhere: you just dropped me to this crib of yers just to comment everything I said on the interview. And on the other hand,] Point to the newspaper in her hand! [How in the hell's that thing already published!? It was just hours ago when I got interviewed!]

"And thus you know the prowess of Shameimaru Aya, the Fastest Being in Gensokyo."

Then she throws the newspaper to me. I caught it deftly and immediately spread it open; let's see what's in Bunbunwhatsit.

Hmm…news about the party later, some guest names are here (Remilia too); the storm two nights ago, widespread damages across Gensokyo (can anybody still attend the party?); a group of animals acting abnormally; something about fairies playing in the lake; new medicine in Eintei? Oh yeah, that's the hospital in the Bamboo forest.

If I look at the headlines…..'Isolationists recovers'….quite a headline, guess that means everybody's fixing up from the storm, which translates that some guests can enter the party. That's nice.

….huh, my speech is here on the bottom right corner. Under a line called 'Enlightened Outsider's viewpoint'. And from the looks of it, it looks like everything I've said is here. Damn, that Aya has good memory.

…..or maybe…

If I could remember. Her writing hand was….huh….

[So you're saying….]

"Yes. She's that fast. Her unmatched speeds can extend to her occupation." She almost sounded like she was bragging about her. "The most recent news are quickly published in her hands. Very…recent news."

The train crash the newsgirl sent to the Japanese Slenderman Motherfucker comes to mind. From the size of the dust cloud she created from that one hit…..I don't think that motherfucker's going to wake up in a matter of weeks.

[That fast, huh?] I folded the newspaper and slid it forward to her distance across the living room table. Afterwards, I just lean back on the sofa, arms spread out and resting atop the backrest. [Glad we weren't fightin' at the time.]

"At your level, Eman," She drew a fan and began fanning herself, "You can only fair against any opponent matching the strength of average Youkai and below. Face an animal Youkai, however, and you'll face quite a challenge."

Hmph. [I'd like to see if they're still afraid of fire.] Animals have a nice history of being afraid of fire, even the mean and mighty ones don't come near it.

"Only the young ones not past their first century of age. Those who are will be adept in wearing a bravado." She informed. "Try not to overestimate yourself because of your newly acquired ability over fire, even if your control over it is past a novice. I have seen Outsiders get killed when their heads got too big and it ended up weighing them down to their disadvantage."

Dude…..

[They got cocky, huh?] I asked, eyes squinted over this information. As disagreeable as those outsiders behaviors are, I could have fallen on the same category. I had to constantly to tell myself that I'm no different from anybody here whenever the megalomania was getting into me when I cast it. I look at my hand, clench it, and a heat wave was emanating from it, rippling the air. [Good thing I got some self-control.]

"Says the boy with a hair-trigger temper who constantly loses all decorum in the slightest provocation."

Now the fist is on fire. [Hey, I know the right time to be angry and to be civil!] I retorted heatedly, easily invoking said emotion anger to go into my consciousness. Though quite real, there's always the lingering feeling in the back of my mind telling me that this emotion's fabricated for the situation at hand and will easily disappear as soon as it's no longer needed. [I have a sense of consequence, y'see? It's just that I don't care what others might think of me afterwards!]

"My point exactly." Yukari giggled, crossing her legs as she continued fanning herself, not at all fazed by my hostility. "If you don't keep that anger in check, your enemy might take advantage of it."

I was instantly off my seat, and the heat waves were already coming out of me like a heater blasting to a hundred degrees.

Geez I'm really overreacting here.

[Really?] I was doing my very best not to let the fires come out, because I know that I'll be punished severely. I just wanted Yukari to see that my anger has been more of a boon than it was an disadvantage, and it has become more with my powers. [Let's see them take advantage of me when they end up turning me into a BOMB!]

"Excuse me?"

[WHAT!?] Oh dear, I got too into the false emotion that it really felt real and ended up blasting on the person beside me!

…..oh my gosh…

"Excuse me for interrupting the argument but I have brought some tea." The girl before me, unfazed by me exploding on her, stood with a tray holding a cup and mug on top.

"Ah, Ran, thank you. I have been waiting." Yukari gleefully accepted the teacup offered to her by the quite tall and pretty blonde girl she called Ran.

"As for you," Ran turned to me with a polite but charming smile, offering me a mug of chocolate-colored liquid, steaming from the heat. "I will let you guess what kind of hot beverage it is, Mr. Eman. I'm pretty sure you'll like it."

[T-tha-thank you….] I meekly accepted, my face slowly heating up from the unsightly display of me snapping at her for no reason. Even as I held the mug she gave me, I didn't look away from her as she turned around, her bushy appendages swishing magnificently in the motion as she departed for the door.

Dude…..Nine Tails! She's a fucking Nine-Tails! That hat of hers is the ultimate indication! They're two-tailed! She's definitely hiding them ears with that thing on her head with tags on it! She's a literal NINE-TAILED FOX!

"Come on, Eman." Yukari's voice immediately brought me out of the trance. "Enjoy your little drink while you sit down. It'd be odd seeing you as the only one standing with a cup in hand between the both of us."

I nodded frantically, [Y-yeah, sure.] I quickly sunk myself back to the couch, careful not to spill the drink in my hand. Now, what does the pretty Nine-tails got for me? Sniff…

Wait a minute…is this what I think it is?

Blowing into it to cool it down even for a little, I slowly lift it up to my lips. Then a sip…

What the!? [Milo?]

"Oh, looks like you remember."

You kiddin' me, Yukari!? [How could I? I miss this thing!] I blow into it some more and take a longer sip. Ah~ The chocolate taste is so nostalgic~! I never had the chance to drink one of these before, even on my last summer trip back to the Philippines. [Haaah, the amount of sugar's just right. I even feel my energy comin' back to me! Tell the girl thanks. This is…yeah, the drink's wonderful, thank you.]

I only hear a giggle as a response. I ignored it and continued drinking the chocolate drink. I wish I got some sandwiches with Goya Chocolate Spread or some chocolate cake to go with this. Gotta have my monthly dose of chocolate somewhat, especially after being deprived of them for…..I don't know. It's been so long since my last bite of the Wonka bar.

"Look at you, so easy to anger….yet easy to placate." She shot me a smirk, a really unsettling one. "It just shows how weak you are at emotional control."

I sighed at that. It's about time somebody mentioned it, and quite a while before the last one mentioned it. At least she doesn't see that I could manipulate my emotions as easily as I lose myself to it. She doesn't know me well, and I intend to keep it that way just to have an edge, no matter the situation. In truth: my personality's really not that wild, I'm just really great at making myself look emotional, to the point that I think that I am without knowing it. I just can't help but manipulate the conception people have on my demeanor. They could think I'm quite outgoing, some might think I'm completely stoic, it's been a long time habit since my adolescence. I had different ideas in my mind before when I wanted to fit in with people my age.

Surprising people can be an acquired habit at times, especially when I show an amazing feat of self-control in front of people who's been familiar with me being hot-headed and exploding on a daily bases.

Taking a sip, I said, [It's a disorder. Excuse me when it happens again. Mood swings, I mean.]

"You call it a 'disorder', but don't you think you brought that mentality on yourself these past two years?"

…..Watch it, Yukari. The only person who has the right to mention those two fucking years is ME, not you. I don't know how the hell you do it but I can tolerate you looking through my life like a reality TV show but I won't have any respect for you anymore if you bring them up like that.

[Psychological damage or impairment can stem from childhood, y'know? They can be permanent.] I defended with a frown, almost letting my irritation show. [I suffered neglect. My emotion problem's one of the symptoms. I'm thankful that they hired a nanny for me before it got worse.]

She raised an eyebrow, her expression unchanging, making her appear enigmatic. "You're aware of that, yet you let yourself fall under the influence?"

…..This woman's really trying to rub me the wrong way, isn't she? Or was she trying to draw out something? I don't know. I can't tell. That shit-eating grin of hers just makes reading her so difficult.

[….it helps me in some points of my life. Not like it's a liability to me or anything, I even get amazed sometimes that I get easily calmed down by the smallest thing.]

A mentally-ill who is self-aware…..does such a person even exist? If not, then….I'll consider myself the first one.

Or maybe I'm just delusional and unconsciously assumed a disorder on my mental state just to manipulate how others think of me?

A-actually, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about anymore.

"An emotional impairment…" I raised my stare from the surface of my drink up to the woman across me, who was staring up to the ceiling to look at a distant memory, "…..used as a weapon….I admit that I haven't seen such a thing in quite a while."

[Hehe.] Glad we're on the same page, Yukari. [Marisa called me an emotion-trigger. Yeah, mood swinging will really help me in a danmaku fight.]

I just realized that I'm smiling, how easily could I switch from one emotion to the next? Now I really question the credibility of my 'mental-impairment'?

"Maybe…" She drank from her teacup, possibly drinking all of it as she placed it on the table afterwards. "….but your finesse matters more than your strength."

[I know, I know.] It's starting to look like this is a fundamental principle for all Spell Card Duelists. I guess I'll follow up to it at some point, [Beauty over power, Reimu emphasized that earlier. But you can't leave out practicality too.] I then took a look around, reveling at how her place is merged together with Eastern and Western elements. It's amazing how they don't clash against each other in terms of aesthetics. [Nice place ya got here.]

"Thank you. Now, Eman…." She leaned forward on her knees, looking at me quite pointedly. "….for the reason why I brought you here…."

It suddenly don't feel nice no more.

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"What do you think is going on, Patchy?"

The Unmoving Great Library frowned, perplexed the same way as her friend, despite being the physical extension of the Great Library itself. Flandre's astonishing state was completely out of the predictions and stated outcome from the book.

Just outside a vacant room, where Flandre was having her sizes measured for a new set of clothing, the two friends had their voices suppressed by a barrier spell and kept the entire conversation private. "I am not quite certain, Remy. The symptoms of humanization are present but something like that was not found in the logs. Not only that, she's still a vampire."

"Might it be that it was omitted?"

"And for what reason?" Patchouli found such a point useless. "Something like this could only be an anomaly, a deviation from the expected result. My only theory to such a case is that the disaster two nights ago might have contributed to this."

Remilia tilted her head, "The storm?"

The librarian turned a very incredulous eye towards her, "The conflict." She emphasized that one word very clearly. She really wondered how the vampire concluded that a natural phenomenon could actually relate to what Flandre has become. "The Gap Demon had mentioned before that the Christian had been possessed. Otherwise, how could he, even with his newfound manipulation of immolation and hellfire, be able to win against Flandre outside the Spell Card Rules while she was out of control? Furthermore, the goblins have witnessed her drinking out of a dismembered arm, which I do not doubt belonged to no other than Eman himself."

A raised eyebrow came to Patchouli's way, "Alright then…?" Remilia believed in Eman losing an arm, despite having never seen his state at the time but she was never sure how he grew it back. Not even the goblins knew. "Disregarding the fact that he grew his arm back in his sleep, how was Flan's presumed development out of the ordinary thanks to last night?"

"Contrary to common belief, Remi, Holy Blood is not genetically-acquired. It is earned —received through a blessing, a lifetime of piety, or direct contact of the divine. Whichever the Christian had done, the consecrated structure of his blood was from external causes." Patchouli rolled up her sleeve just to show an invisible vein on her tiny wrist and point an even tinier finger at it. "As I have discovered, the holy cells in his bloodstream that makes his blood…well, holy isn't actually related to his DNA. It is amazingly neutral, connecting to his genetic structure as if it was part of him. They coat every individual cell on his body like a second skin, especially his blood cells. That's how he has seems to have Holy Blood in unenlightened eyes."

Remilia's expression remained flat and lost all throughout the entire explanation. "…Uh…huh…"

Whether Patchouli noticed the insincerity in her friend's tone or not, she didn't show it as she continued talking, "The blood was from divine origins, therefore making it spiritual in nature rather than being physically existent…I suppose the better word of it is that it does not belong to him in the first place, therefore making its existence as rather 'handed down' and not physically existent in general in his anatomy despite appearing like so, thus its actual spiritual structure."

The vampire was slowly feeling her mind melt to a fine liquid of overloaded mush inside her head. The librarian's vocabulary always ended up heading towards nonsense foreign to her whenever in these explanations, much so for the general concept she was trying to convey. Rather than demand the use of simple terms, she would rather let her friend have her freedom. It is sometimes amusing to know that a concept from the longest sentences could easily be understood under no less than 7 words.

"Due to its spiritual structure, it is susceptible to spiritual tampering. Similar to how a human could suffer blood poisoning due to infection. In the Christian's case, the demon, in virtue of being a spiritual being, can easily affect the structure of his holy blood."

So that was the general idea. Remilia wore a wry grin on her face that was completely unnoticed, or completely ignored.

She was quite tempted to call her out on it for not mentioning it sooner instead of wasting practically 5 minutes explaining about nonsensical nonsense to somebody who wasn't so knowledgeable in the field of arcane, but held it down. This was serious, and she has to hear out the important details, no matter how incomprehensible they seem.

"This is far more disconcerting than it is something worth celebrating, Remi, especially with these questions: One: How long was he possessed? And two: how far did the demon's influence on his body go?" Patchouli's mien was now contorting to a concerned look. "The goblins had reported that he has been possessed multiple times in our absence, and they theorized that it was very likely that the Christian's holy blood might have been tainted long before. How far, I do not know."

The horror of the implications fell upon the elder sister vampire. Far earlier than expected her failure that she thought was averted for the good of her little sister was already coming back to haunt her today, "This can't be…."

"This isn't even helped when the Gap demon had already mentioned the possession before we even knew about it. She had already mentioned that he was possessed since Sunday, and more than one spirit, either benign or malevolent, has already taken him as a vessel. " The librarian's narrowed eyes slowly lit up as the realization settled in, recalling certain facts that led to a more favorable possibility. "More than one. I see…."

Remilia uneasily rubbed her hands together as she witnessed the rise in Patchouli's face, clinging on to the hope that she might have thought up something alleviating, "Is what you're thinking something good?"

"'Good' would be too much of a stretch, but it is far more preferable than the thought of Flandre drinking tainted holy blood." Patchouli's purple eyes scattered all over the area they were in, her mind processing over the pieces of information she has gathered 48 hours prior and calculated each one into conclusions. Each conclusion she earned gave light to a far brighter possibility. "It was implied that he has been possessed since Sunday, but the Gap demon had also mentioned that the first batch of spirits possessing him had been replaced and discarded by a far more powerful entity, one presumed as 'Devil', and it had happened hours prior before the storm, which the conflict between the Christian and Flandre began."

Scarlet eyes squinted quizzically, completely lost on the implications the magician was letting out. "Your point being….?"

For once during the entire conversation, the librarian finally turned her eyes to her century's year old friend. "When I examined his blood after midday's feast, it was immaculately clean. It can only mean that the entities possessing him couldn't lay their influence on the Holy blood, despite possessing him many days prior. They could not taint it, but they did leave traces of their mark on it, traces so small that I couldn't see them. I can say that their influence has merged with his Holy Blood that it has outward effects on his anatomy."

Remilia was able to understand the gist of it, if barely. "Elaborate."

"The Christian's immense strength and speed when angered or cornered as witnessed by Sakuya, all that came from the entities inside him." Patchouli was already told of what Sakuya saw when she fought Eman in the library. "Their influence has already reached far but his Holy Blood remained untainted. I can assume that when the 'Devil' possessed him, the Holy Blood was still pure and needed more time before it could be tainted."

This time, the vampire finally get it. "So you are saying that Flan was able to drink from the Holy Blood influenced by the first entities before she could drink the tainted one brought by the 'Devil' when it possessed him."

"Exactly." Patchouli nodded approvingly, "If I were to assume what would happen if Flandre were to drink from tainted Holy Blood, she will be worse than before. She will be an even greater danger, to us and you."

Remilia scowled at such an outcome. It would have been a nightmare, and it would have been her greatest failure as an Elder Sister, "And are the first entities any better?"

"We can only hope, Remi." The librarian answered, "But I know very well that they could have corrupted Eman's Holy Blood and made him their permanent vessel by modifying his anatomy to their design and image. But considering that his Holy Blood remained untainted and clean, despite the faint remnants of their influence riddling it, we can say that Flandre has drank from a far safer source." Patchouli frowned slightly, placing fingers below her chin. "Maybe that is why Eman wasn't falling to self-destruction and loss of self-identity. The Holy Blood was superior in potency that it has more influence over him than them."

"Hmm." Remilia failed to catch on the afterword. "And the effects of the tampered Holy Blood brought that effect on my little sister?"

"Indeed," The magician turned to face the door, where Flandre has finally finished having her sizes measured and probably exploring what her new anatomy could do. Knowing Sakuya, she had already given the littler sister her newly modified dress, "Whatever the entities were, one among them seemed to have the power over growth and development, maybe life, and life progresses, Remi, unlike death, which has no power to move forward."

Unlike Death, you say? Remilia looked at her own hand. A completely childlike structure, a mark of the day and age she died and became a spawn of hell from the beliefs of traitorous villagers. A deceptively small shape that it hid monstrous amounts of supernatural power that would have made the devil look like a snarling dog with no teeth. The deathly pallor signified her undead existence, a mark of her 'death' that denied her growth. Such is the fate of all vampires, they cannot grow up for the price of immortality. They will never change.

But Flandre had changed. She was still a vampire, but she was blessed with 'life', a blessing that Remilia failed to earn, and it made the once-dead body of her little sister take a step forward from its impeded state.

The Scarlet Devil can take solace in the fact that it had been her hand that caused all this. It wasn't the Christian, it surely wasn't the entities either, it all happened because she had ordered the plot to have Eman killed, despite the complications that happened in-between.

Because if it wasn't for her, how could the Christian have met Flandre? Flandre can be awake at night like a proper vampire, but not so often she does, and the mansion having no other authority to watch over it is one of the times she will have the urge to stay up late.

"What brought the impulse, Remi?" Patchouli snapped Remilia out of her reverie. "What gave you the mind that it is fine for Flandre to go outside, for once?"

The vampire turned to her friend with an ironic smile, "I never said it was 'fine' or even 'safe' to be begin with."

The librarian crossed her arms over the book pressed against her chest, "Then what? Why, rather?"

Remilia sighed, eyes glazing in shame and self-reproach, recalling all the things that happened in her absence, "I am human no longer, Patchy, but I still feel guilt over the things I have done to my sister….what I should have done a long time ago. Two nights ago is meant for her, and I intend to follow through with what happens afterwards to this day."

And she departs from the sound-suppressing field, turning the knob of the door to the vacant room Flandre occupied and entered.

Patchouli dismissed the field, spun in the air and levitated onwards to her library, opting to look over the blood samples she has experimented on since Eman's transfusion. "Tell Flandre to enjoy herself for me, Remi."

The Unmoving Great Library did not forget that her friend could still hear her past the door, and expected her to follow through with her simple request.

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

[~Ooooh, I have all my fingers, the knife goes chop-chop-chop~
~If I miss the spaces in-between, my fingers will come off~]

Wait. It happened again.

That's the 3rd time a fish just disappeared from the pile while I was chopping the beans and onions. Whenever I take my eyes away from it for even 20 seconds or less, one just vanishes.

Let's see if I could….

[~And if I hit my fingers, the blood will soon come out~
~But all the same I play this game 'cuz that's what it's all about~!]

I saw that hand, you fucking bitch. Show that hand again, especially at the end of this fucking song, I'm going to add a little extra to the dishes with a seasoned and stuffed dismembered hand.

Let's speed up the chopping action…!

[~Oh, chop-chop-chop-chop-chop-chop-chop, I'm picking up the speed~
~If I miss the spaces in-between my hand will start to bleed~!]

GIMME THAT HAND!

*CHOP!*

"HWAH!" The kid dropped the fish.

YER LUCKY I CHOPPED THE HEAD OF THE FISH YER HOLDIN' INSTEAD OF YER ENTIRE HAND, YOU FUCKING CAT!

*swipe!* So you just take the whole body instead!?

[YOU LITTLE BITCH!] I vaulted over the kitchen counter, cleanly flying over the cooking implements I placed, pots and seasoning, bottles and spices, and I bolted after the brat. Gotta say, she's motherfucking fast! She vaulted over furniture, ran on all fours on the fucking wall, and even managed to slide in-between my feet! [FUCKING STOP MOVING!]

"Nge-nge! You can't catch me, silly human!" She taunted, taking a chomp on the fish in her free hand as she clung to the ceiling with her claws.

[GET DOWN HERE!] YOU THINK BEING 10 FEET HIGH OFF THE GROUND IS GONNA STOP ME!? HAAAGH!

*CATCH!* Got yer ankle!

"What the!?"

I PLAY MOTHERFUCKIN' BASKETBALL, YOU LITTLE BITCH! NOW COME'RE!

*THUD!*

….ooooh, that was a really thick thud, much so because the floors made of cement.

"Ooow…." She's not human, she's not human. She brought it on herself, and she's been doing it for the past 10 minutes, not just on the fish but other meat as well. "You meanie, that hurt…" She whined as she writhed on the floor.

[Oughtta teach ya to bother me while I'm workin', kid.] I turned and walked back to where I came from, the kitchen. "Keep the fish. You already bit into it anyway."

"HYA!"

[UGHA!] Something just drop-kicked me from behind! [Oof!] Oh! Thank god I didn't smash my face into the floor, I stopped myself with my hands before I could. [The hell!?] I snapped, looking over my shoulder with a glare.

"Ha! ha! Don't turn your back on a Youkai, silly human!" Scampered the brat as she jumped over me and swiped five more fishes from the counter. "See ya!" And she jumps over me again, all five fishes inside her mouth.

[Hhhhrrrggghhhh!] Yer so fucking dead!

I bolted up to my feet, drew out my knife from the holster on my thigh, and I bolted back after her. Running through the halls that led to the kitchen I was from, I came back to the lounging area where the Yakumo house's TV was. I vaulted over the couch, front-flipped over the small table, and I found the brat eating her catch at the turn of the corner right before a door leading to the outside. Her eyes widened as she found me, surprised that I caught up to her at all.

[GOTCHA NOW!] I flipped the knife in my hand to hold the blade, and I threw it at her.

Youkai prowess presents itself before me as the cat girl simply moved her head before bolting out the door, leaving the thrown knife to be buried into the wooden floors.

[GRRR!] I bolted after her, swiping the knife out of the ground, and jumped into the open grassy yard! Oh, you want a good ol' fashioned chase!? BRING IT ON THEN! [YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME, YOU LITTLE…oh.]

I found my prey held captive by the neck as the blonde Kyubi from earlier has her wide-sleeved arm around the kid's neck and held the uneaten fishes in her free hand by her side. "I believe these are yours, Mr. Eman?" She gestured by raising up the remaining two fishes.

[Uh…uh, I-yeah. I mean, hai. Sou de guzaimasu.] I replied politely, holstering the knife back to my thigh. No hostility now.

"English is fine. No need to go the extra mile for me." She kindly said, then turned to her catch. "Now Chen, is there something you have to say to our guest?"

"Mm…." The kitty pouted heavily, looking away and crossing her arms, not caring about the fact that her feet was off the ground and probably hanging by her neck. Anybody'd be choking on the lack of oxygen in that position but I don't see her thrashing about. "I was hungry…."

"No excuses, Chen." Kyubi sternly reprimanded. "Now apologize."

The kid still continued looking away stubbornly.

"Chen." Okay, the tall girl's voice lowered to something akin to a growl.

In response, the kitty girl's eyes widened like plates and immediately turned to me, looking at me right in the eye, "I'm sorry, Mr. Eman." Her apology was so stiff, and her words were motivated by fear more than anything.

But whatever, it's good enough. "Don't you dare come near the kitchen again." I warned in Japanese with a cold glare before I ran back into the house, rubbing my bare feet across the doormat to get rid of the dirt I gathered and jogged back to the kitchen.

Now then, lemme go back to the chopping of the onions and beans.

…..

…..

…..…..

Minutes later, the Kyubi arrived from the door. I acknowledged her presence and didn't pause in the twisting and turning of the Bihon on the pan with the giant fork and ladle in hand. [Can I help you?]

Don't look at her tails. Don't look at her tails. Focus on the food yer cooking.

"I think I should be asking that, Mr. Eman." The girl replied, walking over and arriving to my side to start chopping on the untouched meat I left on the counter for the adobo dish. "Lady Yukari ordered me to help you on your task."

[Oh, sure. Knock yerself out.] Well, that's helpful of you, Yukari. With her, I bet I could finish cooking the shit you're supposed to bring to the party. Since you don't wanna cook it yourself, you had me to cook it for you, you lazy nut! [I appreciate the assist, so you know how to make adobo?]

"I cooked it once myself." She replied, cutting fine sizes of both fat and meat together with methodical slices. Where's the soy sauce? What kind of brand do ya use 'round this household? "Lady Yukari said it was pretty good."

[Well, recall the recipe then. With you around, I bet I can get this thing over with in a matter of hours.]

"Five hours, if we are uninterrupted." She informed without pausing in the chopping.

I paused a little as she said that. Was that a guess or a general calculation? [Alright, where'd the kitty cat go?] If she's around here again…

"Don't you worry about her anymore." She assured, "I ordered her to play outside. Considering who her playmate is, I can say that she will not be bothering any of us."

[Good to know.] I turned to her again, placing a lid on the pan for the minute. [What's yer name, by the way?]

Her head perked straight upright, eyes wide at a certain realization, "Ah, yes. I haven't given you my name yet." Wiping her hands on the nearest towel beside her, she turned to me and bowed, hands conjoined inside her wide sleeves. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Eman, my name is Yakumo Ran. Shikigami of Yakumo Yukari, the sage of Gensokyo."

I couldn't stop staring at her tails when she did the bow. They all just fanned forward like a peacock's tail, a very fluffy peacock's tail. The urge to fluff my hands across them is almost irresistible.

Quickly breaking myself out from the staring, I took a hand out from her sleeve and shook it vigorously. My hands are clean anyway. [Please to meet you, Ran, you already know my name but it is Emmanuello Letitia, no abbreviations.] I flash her a friendly smile as a finisher and let go of her hand. [Sorry about yelling at ya earlier, I wasn't thinking clearly.]

"Oh, no need to apologize," She waved me off gently, "My master tends to rub people the wrong way, especially the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, so you aren't the first person to be driven annoyed."

[Oh.] So you get to watch at the sidelines listening to yer boss annoy the fuck outta anybody, huh? I bet you pitied people on the receiving end every time. [Well, good to know I'm not alone. Now, let's get to cooking. Let's see how the folks at the shrine react to Filipino Cuisine.]

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

[It's amazing you got six stoves 'round here. It's even more amazing when you could do five dishes at once!]

"It's an acquired skill, Mr. Eman." Though her voice was calm, I couldn't stop myself from seeing the proud gratification coming out of her. "When you are good at numbers, and when your master is quite demanding, you learn a few things."

[…..I see.] I'll just be glad that I'm not the one under Yukari's command. How demanding that woman is, I don't wanna know but I know that it'll be too much for a human. Ran here's a Youkai and has been so for more than six centuries. She's used to the job. [How much does she eat if I may ask, considering the number of stoves?]

"If you want the whole truth," I can see the twinkle of mischief shine from her golden eyes as she turned to me, not missing a beat in her work as she poured the soy sauce into the adobo. "She has the capacity to eat so much more than you when you are starving."

…..uh huh? [So you know what kind of life I had before?]

She nodded, "Lady Yukari told me." She informed politely.

[Okay,] Damn that woman for telling others about it, but it's nice that Ran here isn't mentioning any of it the whole time. [And do you know how much I eat, even when I have the proper diet everyday?]

"Yes." She unabashedly answered.

Then I smirked widely, [Then where does all that food go inside that body of hers?]

She giggled instantaneously, suppressing her mirth properly like some kind of lady. Me, I just blow it all off like a commoner. [Ha ha hahahahahaa—!]

*SLAP!*

[OW!]

*SLAP!*

"Ah!"

Okay, who did that!? [Hey!] There's nobody behind me, and Ran clearly got hit, since she's rubbing the back of her head like me, but I see nobody behind her too.

…Oh, it was probably Yukari using a portal for the slap, and somehow she heard us talking about her weight.

…..ppffft…!

[Hk! Hk! Hk! Hk! Hk!]

"Stop snickering, Mr. Eman."

[Sorry, sorry. I'll stop now.]

Seriously, where does all that food go in that body of hers? That woman wears a really fancy and frilly white dress cross-breed with eastern elements. It's enough to hide her figure completely, but if I were to guess: she's probably got the ravishing figure under it. Not that I'll ask for confirmation, unless I wanna end up in the void again.

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

[YEAHAHAHAHAHAHA!] YES! BURN! BABY! BURN! MAKE THE MEAT SIZZLE AND SHINE WITH SAUCES!

"I hate to interrupt your fun by asking but you are seriously not a pyromaniac, are you?"

…Ahehehe, okay, that's embarrassing. Due to the deflation, the fires on the grill sapped out as if a stove knob has been twisted to 'off'. Ran got weirded out by me laughing like a maniac just by watching barbecue meat burn on the indoor grill. [Ahehe, technically buuut kinda the opposite, really.] I replied humanely. [Since I'm an emotion trigger, it happens in reverse. I don't get excited over fire. I get literally fired up over excitement!] The fact that I get to use my fire powers for some good ol' barbecue is the best too. I wanna do this again sometime, cooking food with my own fires.

"I see," She turned back to her work, pulling the lid off the pot and scooping a portion of the malasugi broth with a ladle before pouring it on a small dish. "I simply request you do not burn the house down, please." And she took a sip. "Mm."

[Roger that, Ma'am!] Now, back to my work. [He he he he he he he….!] Placing my being into the smoldering coals below the grilling iron, I intensified the flame and the fires came out like a bonfire! [YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]

"My goodness."

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

[How'd you get all the groceries, by the way?] I asked as I fished out from the fridge the last three apples I deliberately left out when I gathered the first few batches before along with the other fruits. [Considering Gensokyo's locked in one time period that you shouldn't be able to have any supermarkets here.]

"We have Lady Yukari to thank for that." Ran replied, chopping the pineapples into fine slanting rectangles after pouring out the juice into one pitcher for us to drink, with some ice. "With her power over boundaries and gaps, she can be at any place she wishes. Those…well, portals you have seen before are the boundaries between here to there being merged together."

[….so it's not portal transport at all? Just hacking or screwing over the concept of distance?]

Ran froze in her work, thinking over my description on the matter, "Yes, something like that." Then she continued, saying nothing more as she dropped the chopped pineapples into the bowl of juice punch along with other chopped fruits.

So Yukari can actually hack reality? She can bend reality?

…If I had known what you could do, Yukari, I would've shown you the proper respect you deserve as the creator of Gensokyo. I thought you only had creepy portal powers as something going with you but no, you're far more powerful than you let on.

I'll just juggle these three apples I have with me to take my mind off it, [And everybody calls them portals….what was it? Sukima?] I remember the newsgirl calling it that.

"Yes, indeed." She nodded, "In English, you will say [Gap], as in a boundary."

[Gap. Gap. Gap. Gap. Gap. Gap.] I punctuated each word with each throw of my juggle. [Ran.] I called and I threw her one apple.

Without even looking, she caught it in her hand and instantly slices it in half on the chopping board without the loss of a beat.

Geez, how do these Youkai make everyday work look like something pulled out of an action movie?

[Where'd you go to get all these food though?] I juggled the last remaining apples with one hand, [What country, I mean?]

"Wherever in the Eastern Countries. Malaysia, Indonesia…your home country, Japan itself…."

[You even went to the Philippines too?] No wonder there were Bihon strings. [I like you guys already.]

"Your sentiment is appreciated," I could see the hint of a smile on Ran's lips right there. "If ever a chance presents itself, would you like to go back?"

[For a summer vacation trip, sure.] While I don't love my parents just as much, I'm extremely fond of my cousins, especially my little sibling-in-laws. And I absolutely don't mind when me and my bro cousins go for a jam with guitar, BBQ, and beer (the coke bottle's for me). The adults are cool too, and the males regularly pressure me to drink. [But maybe next time. I'd like to get myself acquainted with Gensokyo for a while.]

"A word of advice: do not expose your powers to the public of the Outside World. You will only endanger yourself, and Lady Yukari appreciates a secluded state to be maintained on Gensokyo."

[I'm aware.] I waved her off by throwing her the second apple, which she caught and chopped. [Nobody outside appreciates knowing that a land of man-eaters is right around the Asian Countries. Lord knows what people will do if they found out.]

"I'm glad you're aware."

As I see that she's not going to say anymore, I walked over and picked up a small saucer along with a bottle of vinegar. Hovering the apple over the small plate, I poured down the vinegar on the fruit and let the liquid drip downwards to the plate.

As the plate has a sizable amount of vinegar in its contents, I placed the bottle down and took a bite on my apple. Savoring the bitter taste, I dipped it on vinegar again and took another bite.

…..Ran's staring at me weirdly.

[What?]

"Who dips apples into vinegar?"

Pfft. [Pinoy people. And I don't bother cutting it into small pieces, I just go for it.]

"…..I see."

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

[Here ya go.] I extended a glass of pineapple juice to Ran.

"Ah, that's kind of you but no thank you." She politely declined, "I don't have a fancy for pineapple juice."

[No? Well, more for me.] And I take it to my lips. Gulp. [Ah.] Damn, I miss this taste. I'm not a fan of this type of fruit juice either but the nostalgia really kicks it. [I assume there's nothing more?]

"Hmm," She eyed each dish carefully, "It seems that there isn't." She turned to me with a smile, "Good work, Mr. Eman. Thank you for the trouble of cooking for the party later."

[You too. Good work.] I patted her back gently in praise, [Not like I had a choice anyway, Yukari just forced it on me.]

"But the results speak for itself." She waved a hand to the array of dishes we both made as a team. I can speak with full confidence that anybody will be drooling at the sight. It's a mix of both eastern and western dishes. Ran did some of the latter while I handled some of the former. "I'm slightly surprised that you even bothered with chopped cucumbers in a bowl of sugar and vinegar."

[A li'l bit of OCD on my part. Everything ain't complete without it.] It's must be there when there's fried meat and grilled meat.

"Really? I would have thought you are attempting to spoil one of the Kappa guests."

[Yeaah, no. I don't know what a kappa is.] The name rings a bell but I can't remember it right. [So, we'll just leave the dishes here? Or we take it to the shrine immediately?]

"Hmm," She placed a finger on her chin, "I suppose we'll leave it here for now. It's not 5 P.M. yet anyway." Despite how long we took, it still isn't? We must have been working fast, and that's because a nice Kyubi like you was there to help me.

I looked over the dishes once again, just to revel in what I have created. Even with the aluminum foil covering each of them, I could still see some pieces of them peeking out. Reimu's gonna flood the entire shrine with her drool once she sees this. I'm so excited~! Marisa's definitely gonna hoard everything in one scoop if she saw this. It's a surprise that Ran added some foreign eastern dishes as well. I only handled some of the cuisine I knew how to cook.

Pancit Bihon: a kind of brown spaghetti but with thinner strings and very transparent in appearance. It's all mixed together with chopped meat and vegetables, and I added a little bit of shrimp just for the people who like seafood.

Adobo with pineapples: this is typically one of the renowned dishes in my hometown, and I miss cooking it. What else do I need with tender pork cubes and pineapple chunks mixed together in a big fat plate of brown and saucy goodness?

BBQ! This'll be the barbecue-on-a-stick variation. Deliciously-grilled red meat on a stick, the banana ketchup's already poured in so the taste is multiplied with it. First five sticks belongs to ME! I made them in the first place!

Tosino: This is my absolute favorite meat. I even ate one for myself when one was finely cooked. And as always, the dark part of the meat never fails to be tastier than the red part.

Good ol' Korean Ground meat~! One of my favorites as well. Just a giant bowl of tiny morsels of brown meat mixed with Baguio beans chopped into equally tiny pieces. You pour it on your rice, you get to eat your main dish with it.

For anybody who's a vegetarian, I got the Sinabawang Gulay just for you: typically nothing more than a soupful of okra, eggplant, malunggay, squash…. A good headstart to make your kids eat the greens. It's almost a crime for me to leave out the meat-cubes though. But hey, Ran said there're some Buddhists coming over as well. We all know those people don't eat meat.

For all things I've done, I actually made Banana cue (I'm starting to question where the hell does the Yakumo family get all these 'nanas): this is the result when you deep fry Saba Banana with brown sugar (caramelized). The banana gets brown, coated with the sugar, and apparently gets tasty. You either use a bamboo stick or a fork to hold the hot stuff. This Asian country dominantly uses chopsticks…so we used the chopsticks as skewers! ACTUAL GENIUS!

I don't know how but Ran actually made Leche Flan: the Filipino variant to custard pudding. Damn! She even got the oval shape right. The brown top and egg-like base is pretty spot on too. What else was the Kyubi hiding from me?

Let's not leave out the Longganisa: the Filipino variant of the sausage. I added in some Chorizo on a pile by the same plate on the side just to make a little bit of variety come in. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I feel like separating the two entirely.

Fried chicken: the standard favorite, ladies and gentlemen. All 70 of 'em in a pile big pile of golden brown or dark brown just like the rest of the dishes so nobody gets to miss out on everything. Should we bother with good ol' gravy?

What else is here?

The Yakumos actually had hamburgers and buns for me to handle. What kind of party is going on right now, seriously? Nonetheless, I did the job. With some added lettuce, cheese patty, mayo, the ham itself, then there ya go. Simple is win. I think there's less than 50 of 'em in a neat arrangement on a wide plate, I think.

Hot dogs in a bun too, can't believe we're going all out on this. What kind of theme is going on in the party right now? There's no rhythm in what I'm making. Yukari simply told me to cook and that's it, no specifications.

Ran made some Japanese cuisine as well while I was working on the barbecue: Rice balls, sushi, fried fish, egg rolls, and even more dishes that I don't know the name of—damn that's a lot of 'em. Nice work, girl. I remember you making them all at once, it was awesome.

Oh, I forgot she made barbecue steak as well, five in a pile on one big plate. Even for me, that's a lot. How many people are coming, I wonder? I remember Reimu sayin' that her enemies are coming over as well and the number of incidents she resolved were…..

"Mr. Eman," Wha-what? Ran, what is it? "If you have time to gawk at the food we've made, would you like to spend it taking a rest? Surely, you are tired?"

Sigh. I just realized how much my knees ached. I may be a runner, but I don't usually spend too much time standing in one place. I move, constantly. [Sure. Lead the way if ya got a chair ready for me. Excuse me if I end up falling asleep on it.] I said as I followed her to the door, ignoring the other dishes I didn't get to look over one more time.

Don't mind me if I shamelessly look at your behind, Ran, because it's a magnificent sight due to the fluffy tails waving about like living appendages. I am so tempted to run my hand over them, but I feel like that'll just be disrespectful. Intrusion of personal space, I mean.

"Oh, no need to be modest," Ran assured, "Treat this house as if it were your own. As a guest, it is our right in the Yakumo Family to deliver the graciousness of hospitality to anybody who is welcome, especially when the guest does the job forced—ahem, asked of them very well."

…..Really?

[Yeah, I didn't get the memo on that when yer boss just kidnaps me while I was about to story-tell to my new associates. And she didn't just force, she confused the line between demand and request that I couldn't help but do.]

This time, her laughter was more mirthful and open. "That's Lady Yukari to you."

[How does she do that, really?]

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"Ah, Eman, Ran. Good to see that you are done with the cooking."

Good to see that you've been eating chocolate-glazed donuts, drinking coke, and watching the The Battle of the Five Armies, Director's Cut Edition while me and yer kindly servant were burning our hands off cooking your shit for the party.

[At least you get to eat something that's not straight out of the kitchen.] I dryly commented.

"Hey, now." The woman lightly frowned at me, [You could have taken at least one piece of the dishes. There isn't any loss to it if you do, honestly. Why didn't you take the chance to swipe one barbecue skewer if you were that hungry?"

[Sorry but I'm kinda havin' a Chef's diet right now.] Not to mention that it feels outright off to think of myself even doing it. [I don't wanna eat the stuff I cooked. One piece of tosino's enough, and I feel like eatin' a cuppa instant noodles instead.]

She smirked, "Would you prefer a cup of noodles to this?" She gestured to the box of goodies on the table in front of her.

[…..no. I'll have some, thank you.] I walked over to the table and reached forward; I'll have the big one on the middle—

*slap*

I clenched my struck hand. [Ow, what?] Why'd you have to slap my hand with your folded fan? Do I need to wash my hands first?

"Before you eat, break us some ice for our drinks, please?" A small clatter of metal erupts behind me, and I actually realized that the coke bottle on the table beside the box o' goodies is not even open. The 1.5 liters is still present.

I wordlessly did as told, turning around and picked up an ice bucket that wasn't there before filled with cellophane tubes of frozen water? I haven't seen this kind of ingenuity in a long time, why'd Yukari have to….wait…

[You're doin' this on purpose, ain't ya?] I asked over my shoulder. Despite my dry tone, I was having the urge to start smiling, [Yer makin' me relive my good ol' Filipino life.]

She snapped her fan open and fanned herself with it, "You don't appreciate it?"

I turned away, and I let the smile loose, […..No, I do.] I miss doing this. This is the most common practice for us Pinoy when we don't have the time for small and pathetic ice cubes in a good drink of coke or beer. You just fill a tube of cellophane with water and you freeze it, then there you go; you got ice for your drink.

There's only two tubes of frozen ice but that's enough for the three of us. Grab one on each hand and I smash them together, then water and ice fragments fly everywhere in the impact. Cracks showed on the frozen tubes, and I added more by smashing uncracked areas together. And just for the hell of it, I start stabbing them with my knife just to make sure they're nothing but tiny fragments.

Afterwards, I bend each tube to create an opening in the middle and let the ice fragments fall into the bucket. There we go, we got some good replacements for ice cubes. Bigger ice means more refill, and ice-cold drinks are always the best, especially when they're carbonated.

[Done.] I called, bringing the tiny bucket over and placing it on the table.

"Feels nostalgic, isn't it?" Yukari asked, pulling the bucket close and pulling a pair of steel tongs from a port—no, gap to pick a clump of them and placed them into what seems to be beer mugs that Ran brought over.

[You've no idea.] My smile is enough to tell you about how I felt the entire process. [Thanks.]

"You're welcome." Wow, that response felt really genuine. Thank you for your honesty, "Now would you please open up our drink, the lid is screwed tightly that a delicate and fragile woman like me couldn't twist it open~"

….Don't you dare play the 'fragile woman' card on me, Yukari. Girls back in my day have no problem screwing them open on their own, and aren't you supposed to be the fucking God of this Land? The hell are you trying to pull by pretending?

Though I did as told anyway.

I held the 1.5 liter bottle by the base—

…was a coke bottle ever this stiff?

[…..you shook this, didn't you?] I asked, eyeing suspiciously the beautiful blonde women before me.

"I don't know what you are talking about~ Why would I do such an unladylike thing~?" She innocently said, her voice was so fucking sweet and convincing that I could not help but be even more suspicious.

Without looking away from her and her shit-eating grin, I twisted the cap—

*TSSSSSSSS—*

I twisted it back immediately: Yukari, you are a fucking liar. I could already see the bubbles boiling inside in my peripheral vision.

"Oh, that's odd." She wore a seemingly-genuine look of shock and bewilderment, "I was very careful when I brought it here."

[Uh huh, okay.] I sarcastically droned. I slowly twisted the bottle open, letting the pressure out in small hisses so it doesn't burst out like a fucking volcano. I still haven't looked away from the blonde as I did. [I sure as hell don't want you near my future baby boy or girl if this is the result of you being 'careful'.]

"Oh, why not~?" She whined so immaturely that it just makes her look even more mature. How the fuck does she even do that!? "I love children, especially humans. I'm so fond of them that I would not dare to eat them when I was before my first century as a Youkai."

My hand froze, my expression contorted suddenly to a stone-cold visage, an ice-cold glare easily making its way to my eyes, and my voice was nothing but chilled steel, […..and now?] What the fuck do you eat now in this day and age?

"I am a civilized Youkai, Eman." The look she gave me screamed serious business, and the shift of her tone of voice did so much more. "A civilized and benevolent Youkai. A rarity among our kind, and you best be grateful that you met me on that rooftop to give you a chance in a new world."

The firmness in her voice was so compelling that I couldn't help but believe her, but still, I ended up asking, [How can I believe in your 'benevolence'…when there's probably an ulterior motive behind it?] Reimu had said it before, you never do things on a whim. Unless proven otherwise, I have no choice but to believe her.

Her expression lightened up instantly, a gentle gaze and a soft smile gracing her face as she regarded me, "My ways are not your ways, and your thoughts are not my thoughts either, Eman. You simply do not understand the viewpoint of a mind that has lived for more than a millennium. If you want proof of my benevolence, why else would I create a world for a dying race, when the majority of us are nothing more than selfish and self-serving beings?"

[Just so you could live?]

I know that Youkai live entirely out of fear, and without that fear you're gone. Dead. Vanished from existence entirely. Essentially, Gensokyo is nothing but a place to farm fear from its residing humans. The human village is nothing but a corral for livestock, livestock to harvest for milk….and meat. You Youkai harvest fear and meat from us humans.

"It is more than for my own well-being." She pointedly looked straight into my eyes while she talked, "Ever since the creation of the Spell Card System, the Youkai have been feeding from fear and a bloodless conflict. Human casualties in the village are rarely in the hands of Youkai now. Gensokyo is to be a paradise for Youkai to define themselves away from the conceptions of the outside world, just so that we could have the chance to be more than bloodthirsty monsters. The problem is….most Youkai are still immature to understand that."

…..

…..…..…..

…..…..…..…..I bowed my head, and finally opened the bottle.

[I see.] I poured a pint to Yukari's glass, then Ran's, then placed the bottle down before I held each one and held it out to the respective person.

"Thank you." Yukari thanked.

"Thank you kindly." Likewise Ran as she sat on a separate loveseat.

Now for my own glass. Yukari was kind enough to add a lot of ice into it so the bubbling of the coke liquid was more than it should be before it all popped away. As my glass is filled, I took the big chocolate donut from the box in one hand with my drink in the other, and I sat on a separate seat; a large couch.

[You've read the book, Yukari?] I asked without looking away from the HDTV screen after swallowing my bite, taking a drink from my big mug of coke afterwards. Whoo! The spikiness never fails to make my head shake.

"Indeed, the contradiction is that Bilbo was unconscious throughout the entire conflict."

I've already watched the movie but it was already a treat to see a movie again. Drinking coke and eating donuts all the while is a big pleasure too. As a guy on the streets, you don't spend your cash on luxury like this. You spend it on the most necessary essentials; decent food (especially bananas) and clean water. I probably won't be able get something like this for a long time once I leave this place so I gotta relish everything, and have fun.

Right after the movie, Yukari switched channels and the Supernatural series happened to be running. My happy smile was instantly on when I saw it and said 'stop here'. She instantly complied. We ate bags of chips when the donuts were gone, and had ourselves a drink of Mountain Dew in a can (which we transferred into our glasses).

Right after countless acid-induced burps and 4 bags of chips filling my belly, the signs of an incoming food coma was settling in: droopy eyes, lethargy, and the unwillingness to stand. Yeah, my belly's bloating like a bitch. Been a while since I've gotten this full eating junk foods and soft drinks before. The last time was way before I lived on the streets.

But it was worth it. It's the best kind of hospitality I've ever received since coming to Gensokyo. Reimu's hospitality came with simple living, Remilia's came with a knife fight, this one came with getting kidnapped and getting annoyed. Still, it's the best one I've got.

Just when I was about to loll my head back and try to doze away, something soft and horizontal wasn't supposed to be there on the back of my head. I looked to the right and I saw Yukari's poofy sleeve resting atop the backrest of the chair. I look to my left and I suddenly see Yukari sitting beside me, as if she's been there for a while.

I was alarmed, but I didn't budge an inch. The only indication to my shock was the wide eyes on my face, pretty sure she noticed it. "You can rest your head on my arm, I don't mind."

Okay, we're at that level now?

….can't say that I don't like the idea. It's kind of a privilege, being given an arm pillow from one of the great Youkai of Gensokyo, so I did just that. Plus, I'm too drowsy to be defensive at the minute.

With a huff through my nose, I leaned against the joint of Yukari's right arm. Her outfit's got a flowery scent. Kinda lovely, I'll admit.

It wasn't even a minute before I felt fingers feeling my hair. I opened one eye and peeked to the side to see Yukari's hand (now lacking a glove) caressing my head. So you invaded my personal space just to cop a feel on my silkies?

…

….

…..can't say no to the fact that your touch is nice, really soothing. Makes me feel even sleepier and comfortable….I like it, it feels good. I was leaning to her touch conspicuously, making sure she focuses on the area above my forehead. She was effectively hitting the right spots, and her manicured nails add up to the delicious stimulation. She stroked, ruffled, patted, tugged my hair and head like a master. Everything felt so gooood. I want to stay awake, if it means I could feel her heavenly touch in every single second, but the sleepiness was winning the fight.

Damn it, I'm already nodding off.

Then the sound of a gap opened, snapping me awake and making me witness a small pillow land into Yukari's free hand before placing it on her lap. "Lie your head here." She didn't give me a choice in the matter as she gently pushed my head down towards it. I was too surprised to resist, and I couldn't have the urge to do so either. Her arm strength was unexpected too, even though her motions indicated no effort.

Not to mention that this is making my face burn. I'm a grown man for fuck's sake, you don't lie your head on someone's lap to get your head massaged like a 10 year old. Not unless she's your girl to begin with.

But still…..I can't bring myself to…fucking, I couldn't move my head out of the lap pillow, especially when she was already stroking and massaging my head perfectly. Not to mention that Ran over there is giggling underneath her sleeve as she hid her mouth with it.

My dignity as a young adult is seriously bruised here.

I crumpled a part of Yukari's skirt in my hand before I whispered, [Tell nobody about this….please.]

I felt a really gentle pat on the top of my head and a second hand lay itself on my cheek. It literally feels like her hand had no muscle tone, it's all soft flesh and bone. "Not. A. Living. Soul. You have my word."

I hope so.

I close my eyes and let myself go. I fought a hopeless battle in retaining my consciousness as Yukari did her magic on my head. From my forehead to the nape, her fingers stimulated every nerve that existed. Every lock of hair she pulled, every place her fingers had stroked and scratched, every area she placed her palm on, it hit every spot that existed the right way. I wanna stay like this forever.

I bet Ran used to be on the receiving end of this, when she was still an actual fox…or maybe when she was a child. Maybe Yukari got her petting techniques from the experience….hah…lucky you, Kyubi. You get spoiled for more than a year, while I get to feel this only once.

I probably won't be able to experience this ever again.

I gotta…..I gotta….make ii…..t…..lasst….

…..zzzzzzzzzzzz

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

It was always a sight to behold, even if you belong to the Yakumo family where you are regularly in touching distance with Yakumo Yukari herself. The Youkai Sage rarely let herself be seen as a motherly figure looking down on a young in love. Almost everyday, even inside the household at times, there was a figure of the walking enigma shrouding the form of the Youkai of Boundaries, some other times a silly immature youth takes her place, which itself is a tool of manipulation.

But a time when Yakumo Yukari herself becomes a normal woman, having no power over boundaries, having no schemes planned, not even having the intention to annoy a certain shrine maiden she was so fond of just like her predecessor, but just simply enjoying the simple things such as kneading the head of a human, which is by comparison; a child compared to her age that bypassed a millennium, is nothing short of a very pleasant sight to Ran's eyes.

"Why don't you come over and have a feel, Ran? His hair is quite beautiful to the touch. Give him a different set of wardrobes, I could have mistaken him for a girl."

Unfortunately, even an affectionate gesture to the head is just another part of her schemes. Unpredictability is something the Sage is known for, not even Ran herself has reached a level of familiarity with her master that she more often than not failed to predict her next move.

"I will decline." The shikigami politely answered, "I will only do so by my willingness and by his permission."

"Oh, too bad. You could barely get to see him this vulnerable…." If anyone was perceptive, they might see a rather unsettling glint in Yukari's soft gaze, and the gentle smile was straining from turning into a smirk. "…past the shell of rambunctious and outgoing disposition, the cynical outlook, and past the volatile rage, you will find a gloomy little boy seeking comfort from the nearest trusted authority."

Only those who knew Yukari well can see that she was gloating over her discovery. The boy was more than an outsider blessed with fortunate outcomes. Once she finds someone's weakness, they are ultimately falling to her will completely, without their knowledge in fact. Whatever gifts the boy Yukari had said to have, it will be subjected to Yukari's exploitations.

But to what end? Ran contemplated, her master's actions are completely ambiguous between the human conceptions of good and evil.

She watched what was practically molestation disguised as a loving caress on a young boy's head and body while he was asleep and vulnerable. Watch the hand movements of the Youkai carefully and you'll notice that she was exploring, finding, seeking, searching something that wasn't there but present at the same time. Yukari's hand roamed methodically and sensually across, her reach began from the shoulders, stroking onwards to the collarbone, then going around his abdomen and waist, then eventually she reached past the waist.

It became even more risqué at that point. She never touched his nether regions but the motions of her hands as she held his thigh made Ran think that Yukari was indulging herself with his anatomical structure more than doing her mysterious search.

It took long before she found the right spot; below the center of the ribcage.

With a hand that plucked at something that wasn't seen, she pulled her arm back and there was a bright ball of light pulled out of his chest and into the Sage's fingertips.

The broad grin on Yukari's face told the Shikigami that this was what she was looking for. "Behold, Ran, the Holy Spirit itself."

Ran was already on her knees before the name sunk in to her brain, and when it had, her face paled immensely and she prostrated before it—

"Or what fragment of It I've pulled into the physical realm." A mischievous giggle followed. "Calm down, Ran. You are panicking over what's practically a microscopic-sized dandruff."

A heavy sigh of relief and exasperation escaped Ran. Once again, she was fooled by her own master when this has already happened thousands of times prior. "Must you do that, Yukari-sama?"

"I always wanted to see how you will react, my dear." She bluntly answered with a wide and amused smile, then turned to the fragment of the Holy Spirit in her hand. "Only Eman himself can draw the Holy Ghost into being. I can only pick at whatever little pieces I could find."

Ran stepped closer and peered at the glowing fragment. Despite being at such close distance to it, her eyes aren't searing completely or being blinded despite its intense brightness that illuminated her Master's entire front.

"Fortunately," Yukari continued, her grin barely concealing the giddiness boiling inside her, "The Spirit of Knowledge is lenient enough to allow me access to information."

"So it is really him?" The Shikigami asked with bated breath.

"Yes, Ran." The Sage stroked the sleeping Eman's hair gently, pulling at his silky bangs, "What lies in my lap is the Backdoor to Heaven itself."

Ran recalled the words that followed, "But you cannot enter unless the Host escorts you."

"Or…" Yukari followed up with the concluding words, "…the Host beckons and introduces you to the Head."

Both Youkai looked pointedly at the silver accessory that peeked out from his collar as reference to who the Head was.

Yukari ran his hand across Eman's chest, her palm left a trail of multicolored holy fires that caressed her digits harmlessly. Ran could speculate that the fires had probably sent knowledge or information via touch, as her Master's brow slightly rose in interest. "It seems the riot is still sullen and grumpy but obedient. They won't be leaving anytime."

"And I assume that the Holy Ghost acts as the Warden to their…prison?" The Shikigami asked.

"Correct." The Sage nodded, "And we cannot trust anything or anybody else to do a better job without restricting Eman's freewill." Then she ran her hand over his chest again, "Now, if I may….?" This time she was communicating with the Holy Spirit Itself, uninhibitedly and gladly responding to her inquiries via empathic fires that clung to her fingers, continuously sending knowledge and information at speeds unimaginable by physical limits.

Ran pursed her lips, uneasily rubbing her hands together inside her sleeves. "I'm aware that you understand the cautions and risks you're taking, Yukari-sama but please….be careful."

For once, Yukari's face contorted into a grimace. A completely foreign expression since the moment she spirited away Eman into the building. "I know, Ran. When it comes to this, I cannot afford any mistakes." Then she plucked another fragment of the Holy Spirit, containing what Ran could probably assume as the answers to her inquiries. After a moment of Yukari practically listening to the bright orb, she flatly smiled, "Oh my. If Suika was to know about this, their relationship will be strained. It's amazing that his Religion is such a powerful anchor to keep himself in check."

"If I may ask, Yukari-sama, what have you asked?"

"Eman's darkest secret. Apparently irrelevant. Useless. It barely affects his external behavior, anyway." Then the Youkai Sage squished the fragment of infinite knowledge in her hand, reducing it into nothing. "What else can you tell me about your beloved son?"

The following minutes continued in the same rhythm: Yukari would inquire of the Holy Spirit, the latter will unabashedly respond with explicit and unhidden answers, and the former would mention it aloud to her servant, followed by Ran to either question or comment about it. Other times, she would be silent.

Every piece of knowledge received, it was always everything about the boy himself, from his favorite habits and hobbies to the most secluded parts of his personality that influence his subconscious actions. Ran felt guilty for such violations of privacy, especially to someone who's not even aware. The boy himself was trapped in a soundproofing barrier, unable to hear every word said nearby and keeping him enclosed in a state of blissful sleep and ignorance.

But Yukari swore before that Eman will not suffer the same fate as the ones before him. Never again will a Christian suffer a fate worse than death.

Being the Backdoor to the Primordial Layer of Reality saved Yukari from the effort of ever figuring out what made him tick by closely observing his every action towards different situations and different occasions. The more she learned from the Holy Spirit about him, the easier it gets from there.

Easier to control

Easier to manipulate.

Easier to predict.

And lastly, easier to handle.

The perfect instrument to Yukari's schemes to ensure the safety of Gensokyo while it develops.

When the Sage finally removed her hand from his chest, she can conclude that they were now through with their prying, "We can now act as the bearers of his leash on the Holy Spirit's behalf."

"That's such a harsh way of putting it." Ran commented.

"It's the truth, Ran." Yukari exerted, facing her servant superiorly, "His self-control does not enforce his willpower. Not even he rivals Marisa-chan's fortitude in spirit. He is accustomed to the adversities of the Outside World, not Gensokyo. He will break, like most humans."

Considering what Ran has seen throughout her life while she ventured with her Master, it was one of the most undeniable realities among humankind. She could only be silent.

"Ran, get a blanket. I don't want him to get cold."

At least this order is genuinely harmless and due to the concern for the boy's wellbeing. She could tell. "Before I go, can you answer me this?" Ran requested.

"Speak your mind."

"Why didn't you ask the Holy Ghost of what's to come?" The Shikigami never doubted the power the Spirit of Knowledge had, plus she intends to be prepared for what's about to happen as well.

"Ignorance breeds curiosity, curiosity leads to research, research give rise to knowledge, and knowledge begets preparedness." Yukari quoted, wearing a dignified smile. "You know that I do not seek the easy way out, Ran. Exactly as how Gensokyo does to the unknown, I intend to let the unexpected come my way, and see if I am capable of dealing with it."

Not unless you already saw it coming. Ran mentally quipped, and bowed politely. "I see, thank you for enlightening me." Then she departed to fetch a warm blanket, one sizable for a tall young man sleeping on the couch.

As soon as her servant was no longer within sight, Yukari looked down on the boy and reveled in the peacefulness on his visage. He was so much like a child. He had such valuable things buried inside him, but lives in such blissful ignorance that he could fail to realize the potential he had and the things he could do.

Not under her watch. She'll help him realize it. And use it for the good of Gensokyo above all else, even if it means killing him.

Gently laying a hand to his opposite cheek, she panned his head to face upwards, upwards to her peering face. Yukari couldn't help but smile fondly, as if she was looking down on a delightful kitten. The Holy Spirit's recreation of his body would have made him look like a delicate and fragile boy that barely knew suffering or the evils of the world if he wasn't hiding it behind a mask of sociability or defensive rage.

Brushing a thumb across his lower lip, she traced a cross on his forehead with his other hand, requested the Holy Spirit to watch over him carefully, and leaned down to whisper a message to his ear. Something he must well keep in order persevere the coming calamities if he wants to remain who he is today.

"The fate of all good men is to die young, and you will be subjected to the same fate. You will suffer everything, my boy. You will be rejected, you will be hated, you will be betrayed, tricked, killed—the fate of all Christians will befall you soon, just like your predecessors." For a moment, Eman's countenance quivered, as if afraid at the nightmare he was facing. Despite the developments, Yukari continued to relay her message, "But I implore you….endure. Even if you are beaten limp and lame, blinded, and your dignity reduced to dirt, suffer them. Accept them, face them without restitution, cling on to your God if you have to."

Then she leaned down to plant a maternal kiss on his forehead, and just for a split-second, there was the mournful flare in her violet eyes. The quivering stopped entirely, and peace returned to the boy's face as the silver rosary glowed in numerous colors inside his shirt.

"Endure, and never, ever fall to the darkness."

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

"Mr. Eman?"

…..…..

…..…..…..

…..…..…..…..…..

"Mr. Eman, time to wake up."

[Uuugh. Whaaa?] I was instantly wide awake, albeit the bright lights and blurry eyesight was still present. This usually happens when I sleep with friends around. The only times I wake up like a slob is when I'm on my own.

"Did you sleep well?" When my vision cleared, it was Ran who asked as she looked down on me with a gentle face.

Where was Yukari when she's supposed to be the face above me? Not that complain if it's you, Ran, [Good, actually.] I turned my eyes to the nearest clock and my eyes widened, [Excuse me.] I slowly rose myself up from her lap and twisted around so my feet that rested on the couch is now placed to the cold floor.

[Aaaaahhaaaaah.] I yawned. I'm not gonna be sleeping early later.

I twisted my neck with my hands in both sides to crackle the neck bones. Arcing my back forward for an extra crackle, including my fingers and knuckles, I slumped back into the couch, folding the blanket that's covering my legs as I asked, [How'd you end up taking Yukari's place?]

"She forced me." She smiled helplessly, "She said she has business to deal with."

I chuckled, [You should'a just placed my head on a pillow and saved yourself the effort of being the pillow instead.] As I neatly folded the blanket into a square, I placed it on my lap. Then I fiddled a little with my silky bangs. Wait, [Tell me….]

"Yes?"

I ruffled my silky head exaggeratedly, just to indicate it, […did you feel them?]

She was slightly wide-eyed before she closed her eyes, and smiled politely, "Indeed, I have."

[And?]

Then she opened her eyes to look back at me again with her pretty yellow orbs. I noticed that her fingers are twiddling together. "They were beautiful to the touch."

…okay, that made me blush. But I can't forget that I didn't work to have this kind of hair. [Good to know.] I stood up, folded blanket tucked under my left arm, and I extended a free hand for Ran to take.

And she does, a smooth and delicate hand holding my own, pulling herself up to a stand, I'm a little surprised that her knees aren't shaking. How short of a time was my head lying there? Or maybe it's a Youkai thing that she could take it?

"I'll have that." She gestured for the blanket and I wordlessly gave it to her, "While I'll be gone to put this back, would you kindly go check on our dishes? I will be with you shortly to gap you to the Hakurei Shrine."

[Oh.] That's a surprise, [You know how to make one too?] I thought only Yukari can.

"When you serve under Lady Yukari, you learn things required of you as her Shikigami." She proudly stated. "But I can only use my gap for transportation purposes, and it is quite taxing to create just one. Lady Yukari has much control over it than me."

[You'll get there.] I patted her shoulder. I throbbed my thumb behind me and departed with a jog, [I'll be headin' to the kitchen now.]

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

*hwack* And out into the backyard of the Shrine.

Urrrgghhhh.

Damn it, it's always weird to even go through that thing every time. No air, no up or down, no wind, no ground, no sound, not even time. EVERYTHING inside that gap is loaded with so much fuckery and wrong that I could've drove myself to the brink of insanity if I even tried to understand it.

Eerrrghh….it's still lingering on my bones.

Good thing I didn't drop the plate of BBQ skewers in my hands like I told Ran I could. These things are precious, especially when they're not eaten.

"This way, Mr. Eman." Where? Oh, there you are, Ran. "Place them here." She gestured to the long tables placed on the edges of the yard. Looks like Reimu already placed the dishes she and I made amongst them.

[Comin'.] I fast-walked over and placed it gently beside her tray of heated salmon. I hope nobody gets any ideas while backs are turned. Oh wait, Reimu's around. I forgot. As I jogged after Ran going to the gap, I hollered, "Reimu, keep watch over the food supply! Marisa might get any ideas!"

Considering her friendship level with the witch, she'll know what I'm talking about.

As Ran got swallowed, I still hesitated. I thought I already had the guts to go through it again, but it turns out the sensations you feel when I go in is what's scary.

But you can't gain any resistance otherwise.

One foot into the gap—

Neehegh! It's so weird!

Then I pumped myself forward, letting myself be forced through the multiple sensations of reality fuckovers in a single second before I was back into the kitchen.

Fucking damn it! No up or down, no air (yet I could breathe), no wind, no sound, and no time present, everything just feels so wrong! Even though it's like passing through a doorway, it feels like I've been inside far longer than I thought. I had to close my eyes because I could see the oblivion once I go in. Even if the horrifying image passed in an eye-blink, it feels like I've been watching it for an entire minute. And I could hear myself breathing everywhere.

"Are you okay?"

[No.] Abso-fucking-lutely not! [I'm not okay.] I hoarsely replied, my hands on my knees.

"The experience is appalling even to those who ventured through more than five times, but you'll become accustomed to it at the 16th passage, either in or out."

I looked upwards to her gaze, [How can you be sure?]

She turned around, picked up a large plate, and held it out to me, "Calculations."

You say that as if you already knew my limits, girl. And you look quite proud when you said that word as well. Is your mental math really that good?

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

[Never knew she was that protective of me.] I droned. Reimu sure got aggressive when she thought something happened to me when I got kidnapped. She grilled Ran mercilessly when she was in touching distance, and even threatened a fight for the truth, even though the Kyubi's telling it already. Shit. That girl's quite assertive, despite how young she is.

[Good thing I explained everything.] And got her green in envy when I mentioned that I've been munching on so many goodies in the Yakumo Residence instead of getting eaten myself. I emphasized the spicy goodness, the chocolaty goodness, the cheesy goodness, and all the spiky goodness of the drinks I've consumed and relished. I made Reimu's mind go wild in her imaginations as I deliberately left out what I ate. I never mentioned the chips or the donuts, and my smile was as wide as a billboard as I watched her react.

[Ha ha hahahahaha.] Good move, me. Was worth it too, Ran gave me a kindly 'thank you' afterwards. Completely worth it. A pretty girl's gratitude beats most pleasures.

Okay, time for the Bihon to go. Now for the gap….

One foot in, and out we go.

*hwack*

Fooo hu. Okay, I'm getting used to it. Barely, but…I'm getting used to it.

"Excuse me?"

[Hm?] Whoa…..my goodness, you're beautiful. Straight neck-length blonde hair adorned with a frilly headband, porcelain white skin (so pretty), a fancy uncommon wardrobe around your shoulders called a capelet (with frills too), a blue dress with a fancy little sash around the waist. If I didn't know any better, this person could've been the most lifelike doll I ever seen in my life if she didn't blink. And her green eyes made my heart burn already. Still, my external composure is still intact. I cleared my throat to clear the trance and spoke, "May I help you?"

"Actually, that question should be mine to ask." Her tone was clear, slightly hushed, yes, but very audible. If there was a clamor around us, it might be possible that I could easily pick up her voice amidst the crowd. "Ms. Ran told me that you have quite the number of dishes to be brought over."

Okay, "That's right."

"May I and Shanghai help you on your task?" She offered.

Wait, who's Shang—what the!?

I didn't yelp but the wide-eyes on my face gave away my emotion.

Floating just beside the doll girl, it was herself in the shape of an actual toy doll. The outfit slightly matched her, but the little apron it wore makes the distinction. Plus she's more cute than beautiful.

"Well, hello there." In response, the little thing waves her hand quite cutely. Damn it, that's so cute..! "That's awfully endearing." I turned to the bigger doll. "So you will help me?" I held out the bowl towards her.

"That is what I said, yes." She places her hands around the grip on the sides of the bowl and pulls it out of my grasp without any struggle on the weight. Funny, her arms are quite small that they wouldn't even break paper, "Shanghai and her sisters will handle the rest of the incoming dishes."

And suddenly, 9 more dolls just suddenly appears behind her back and floated in a line in front of me with Shanghai in the center.

It took Ran, who just came out of the gap with another dish, to tap my shoulder in passing before I was broken out of my shock.

Ignoring the doll squad that was giggling at my reactions, I bolted back to the gap and jumped into it. As I came out of the other side, I landed on one knee and came to a single conclusion. [She's a puppet master. A fucking Puppet Master. A Marionette Master! A Stringless Marionette Master! Holy fuck!]

Hoooo!

I held my head with both hands, trying to control my breath. This is awesome! I bet those cute dolls whip out knives and explosives in 'em when in a fight. I can't wait to see them do it!

Okay, okay. Calm. All calm now. No more mind-blow induced hysteria.

Now, let's get the Beef on the Plate out. I hope the dollies don't get any ideas when I give to them for the table placement.

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

It was kinda amusing and bizarre to watch what is literally a little girl's toy along with eight more carry a whole plate together and carry it towards the table. The group effort helped them with the weight, almost like Jergo and the boys. I question though: Are they automated? Or are they even alive? I had doubts that they were even manually controlled. For one thing, her back was still turned when I passed the punch bowl and she was surprised at the sight of her little girls delivering something a little too heavy for them.

I left those question for later and kept repeating the process. Pick up the food, and pass it to the little darlings. I can't get over the fact that they look so fucking realistic.

And then Suika came.

"Emeeeen~!"

My fucking goodness with this kid.

"Hi, Munchkin." I droned in greetings, but my delighted smile was present as I hefted the Little Cutie under the arms as soon as she came within distance and made her bounce to the air just once before I placed her down on the ground. "How were things in my absence?"

"Marisa came and talk abou' all the things that happened in the Scarlet Devil Mansion~"

…..what?

"Aaaaand…" She turned a really unsettling leer towards me, "…Yuugi got really interested when she heard that you fought the Little Sister Scarlet with her and won!"

Oh thank god. At least she didn't leave me out of it. I figured Marisa to be the hoarder of the glory, but I guess not. But I think it's very possible that she made her side of the story shinier than it should be.

"Good to know." I ruffled her head for the information. "I'll be with you once I finish delivering these dishes."

"Yer takin' too long!"

"Well sorry!" I apologized with a raised voice. "But I don't wanna drop any of it by rushing, mind you!"

She blew a raspberry as a form of scoff, "I could do all the thangs without droppin' a single grain a rice! Watch me!"

Then she suddenly turned into a white mist, her petite form crumbling apart like dust until what is left of her is nothing but an intangible white cloud floating in front of me. After a few short seconds, a small clump of the cloud descended to the ground and swirled, forming itself into…..a Mini-Suika giving me a cute grin?

As shocking as the sight is, I was quick to get my composure back (externally, of course. My mouth's still hanging on the inside). "What can a Tiny-You even do?"

"What can a Tiny-Me can do?" She parroted in such a sickeningly high-pitched voice before the cloud above her separated into more tiny clumps and created even more Mini-Suikas. There was practically an army of them now. "What can a lot of me can do!?" They all shouted in unison before bolting past my feet, and into the gap. Seconds later, they all came back with plates above their heads, skittering like ants hauling food to the queen.

Needless to say, my jaw has unhinged itself from my face. Every fucking day, something always catches me by surprise. I get that I've seen lots of bizarre and interesting things prior but still! I lived 98% of my life without any magic or any out-of-the-ordinary things happening around me, and not even a single week in Crazyland could get me immune to surprises like this.

Reimu, the doll master, and even Yuugi over there was completely amused by the look on my face: completely stunned and flabbergasted.

My shock was only broken when I saw that the doll squad was having a tantrum for being overmatched by something else cute and tiny.

I chuckled and I went back into the gap, hoping to get the last dish before Suika does.

~~~~~ « ҉ » ~~~~~

Of course it had to be the bowl of vegetable soup that was the last to be taken out. You people should be eating greens more often! All the nutrition you need isn't always found in fucking red meat!

Oh well, it's still going to be eaten anyway.

With the nonchalance of a person walking through a door, I pass through the gap and—

*hwack*

—no outward expression of discomfort. The fuckery sensations were there, but I didn't let it bother me as much before. Looks like Ran was right, I did get used to it on the 16th passage. Looks like I don't have to look like a wimp anymore in front of Reimu or anybody in Gensokyo anymore.

Carefully, making sure I don't slosh the contents of the bowl, I walked with steady steps towards the tables.

"Um, would you like me to get that off your hands?" Asked a green-haired girl as she arrived to my side, already holding out her hands to take it. Never mind the kindly gesture, your hair color really catches my eye, girl.

"Oh, no need, Ma'am." I politely declined with an incline of my head, "This is the last one anyway."

As I reached the table, I slowly placed it down on the surface alongside the other dishes that I didn't recognize to be made by Reimu's or Ran's. Maybe the other guests have arrived and brought food of their own. Looks like we're gonna get fat on this party. There's just so much!

"Is that everything, Mr. Eman?" Ran asked, standing beside me with her hands inside her conjoined sleeves as always.

[I think so.] I replied with a smile, [We're gonna be loaded for this party.]

"Whatever that means, Yukari really outdid herself this time." Reimu commented as she looked over the dishes me and Ran made.

"It's not Yukari herself, Reimu." I disclosed and held Ran's elbow, "It's actually me and Supergirl here that did all the work."

Ran gave me an incredulous look along with an amused smile, I just shrugged with a playful smile of my own.

"Wait, you made those?" Reimu asked, in genuine bewilderment as she gestured to the dishes from another table that I could see is predominantly occupied with the dishes I've made.

"Well, technically." I don't wanna take all the credit like a douche. "Ran helped with the effort, plus she made dishes herself as well as I did."

Reimu turned around, scrutinized everything she thought was made inside Yukari Household (hehe) for a dozen seconds before she turned to me and said, "Hold still."

Yes, Ma'am. Back straight, feet apart by 45 degrees, and hands to the side.

She pulls out the gohei out of her sleeve (seriously, how the hell?) and waved it above her head towards my direction in a side-to-side motion. Her eyes were closed all the way. What's she doin'?

After a few seconds of the same motion, she stopped moving, and intoned this, "May the gods grant you blessings and good health."

Ah, okay. I get you.

"Thank you kindly, Reimu." I respectfully replied. You didn't flood the place with your drool like I expected but it's still good.

Reimu packed the stick back into her sleeve and grabbed the green-haired girl's hand, tugging her along as she walked, "C'mon, Sanae, help me gather the sheets!"

"Ah! Reimu, don't pull so hard!"

As the two go away, I turned around, placed my hand on Ran's mobcapped head and intoned, "I pass the blessing of the gods to you, as well as the good health."

Ran giggled at my gesture. As I moved my hand away, she asked, "Was that because you do not accept blessings from other gods except Jesus Himself?"

[What? Oh, no. Not really. I'm just sharing the credit.] I don't really reject the blessings. I'm just laying the thanks to Reimu, not the gods themselves. [Things like that are always an act of sentiment when it's not from a priest.]

Wait, what's that ironic grin on your face? "She is a [Shrine Priestess], just to remind you."

…..Shit!

[S-still! It still applies! She doesn't seem like the typical religious figure of authority to begin with!] She really doesn't! She's more of an independent teen with an attitude to boot! Geez, can't believe I didn't think up the English translation of Miko at all. [What I mean is: It's her way of saying 'thank you' in the most sincere way she could think of. I'm just passing the thanks to you, you helped me in the work. So, on Reimu's behalf: Thank you very much, Ran.]

Ran wore a pleasant smile afterwards, bowing to me, "Thank you kindly, and you're very welcome, Mr. Eman."

[Likewise.] I patted her side, [I do the same thing most times.] Like when I did Flandre last night. Praying for someone: it's the same as saying 'good luck' or 'get well' in an atheistic perspective, but I like to think that theists have more sentimental depth when they do it like that.

"I'll make sure to tell Lady Yukari of your hard work on transporting the dishes." She said as she turned around and headed for the gap.

[You goin' home now?]

"Back to the household, yes." She replied as she stopped in mid-step and looked back to me. Polite manners, probably. Facing the person talking to you. "I suppose there are some things to deal with before I could join the festivities along with Lady Yukari."

[Oh, okay. Remember, waiting on you. Won't forgive you if you don't show up and eat the stuff we made.]

She giggled again as a response before she got swallowed by the gap and the creepy thing itself closes, bringing the original aesthetics of the Hakurei Backyard back to normal.

Deep breath…sigh.

Good to be back.

And I'm still barefooted, I just realized. I hope Reimu's got a door mat.

"Heads up!"

[OOF!] Real sudden, Suika! Since when'd ya packed up the Mini-Suikas together and turned back to normal? You had to piggyback me outta nowhere. "Must you, really?"

"What'cha thinkin', hmm?" She questioned in a teasing tone, peering at the side of my face. "Feel like chasin' all them tails?"

I wryly smiled to the Munchkin, "She will be a very difficult catch, dear. Not only that, she wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship while she lives in servitude to Lady Yukari." I grabbed her under the arms and placed her on my shoulders. Thank you for being light, kiddo. "Plus, I don't have the intention to be in a relationship with a woman just yet."

"But when you look at Reimu though…."

I slapped her thigh before she could get to say another word, "I also do not have the intention to pester Reimu with my feelings of admiration for her. I respect her too much for that."

"Hm, whatever you say~!" She singsonged before taking a swig from her gourd. "You still have the hots for her anyway."

I slapped her other thigh, [Shut up.] "My words are final, I intend to enjoy life and hell in Gensokyo before I settle down with a woman."

"I believe you." She told, fiddling my silky hair with a free hand.

Wha…uh….thanks, I guess. Can't believe you just said that after everything you've said seconds ago.

I turned on my heels and went for the backdoor entrance of the shrine, where my witchy friend, Marisa was, along with Yuugi, and a few girls that I didn't recognize. Must be her friends, and I see that the Puppet Master is there with her. The girl in the witch hat must be telling the stories of yesterday and the day before. Look at all the hair colors, man. There's even fucking purple.

Soon enough as I was at a decent distance, Marisa turned to me and smiled widely, "Heeey, Eman! How was it, being kidnapped by the Gap Hag herself, eh!?"

'Gap hag', hehe, good one. [It was faaaantastic! HAH!] CATCH THAT FIREBALL HIGH-FIVE!

"Whoa!" She bolts up from her seat on the stairs and fires a danmaku star towards my shot. As the shots collide in an explosion of glitter and embers, we stomped up to each other and slammed our hands together in a handshake. It stung so much! "How ya doin', man? Doin' okay?"

[Very good. Too bad I'm so full I won't be able to eat the hamburgers later.]

"Hehe, more for me then!" She slapped my back.

I returned the favor. That one really hurt, you nut! [Like hell, you will!] And we synchronized an evil laugh along with our evil smiles afterwards. I could tell that we're gonna be beating each other's asses later just to get the last burger.

Can't wait~!

"C'mon, say hello to mah friends here!" She grabbed my head and pulled me along to the group's distance. She let go and gestured to the Doll girl earlier, "Say hello to mah longtime friend, Alice Margatroid! She plays with dolls so she's kinda childish but she's gotta cute butt that you can't help but—"

*WHACK!* And then a little doll smacks Marisa's head with a paper fan too big for her tiny form.

"Hello, Mr. Eman, pleased to meet you. My name is Alice Margatroid, say hello to my dear friend Marisa here, who does not know the difference between a rear end and a face that I am horribly surprised that she hasn't been sent to prison yet."

[PFFFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!‼!]

It wasn't only me that's laughing; Suika, Yuugi, and even the other girls present were losing it. A-actually, more like only me, Yuugi, and Suika brought the mirth, and the contagiousness of the laugh reached the girls.

Oh, this Alice girl, I like her already! That was the snarkiest friend introduction I've ever heard in my life, and I LOVE IT!

[Haha,] I extend a hand to the beautiful girl, "Nice to meet you as well. Thank you kindly for the assistance earlier."

She received the hand and shook it. It's so soft. "You're very welcome." And damn, this girl's got a nice smile. If she's got a boyfriend, I'm not surprised. "I admit that I anticipated a rather more dumbfound reaction once you see my dolls for the first time, but you exceeded my expectations."

Hmph, cheeky.

"I hope my performance was pleasing." I bowed to the girl, then I turned my attention to the last two girls. One I could presume is a swordswoman, judging from the two swords on her lap. Can't wait to see how she does it with that big-ass sword with a flower on the scabbard. And her hair's silver too, nice. The other…..

…..To anybody in the world that has a fetish for rabbit girls, I just found your wet dream made flesh.

The purple haired girl before me wore a black business suit, with matching red tie as well, and she completed the ensemble with a pink skirt. Her hair….is absurdly long. It's splayed out behind her like a curtain that's spread out on the floor as she sat on the veranda. Hers is even longer than Yukari's! How could you even maintain that kind of hair, girl?

And lastly, her rabbit ears are erect above her head. Though, they look rumpled. Did something happen?

Anyway, gotta introduce myself. Bow, then go, "Greetings to the two of you. Marisa may have told you already, but my name is Letitia Eman. Address me as 'Eman' and no other, because I can easily predict that you will mispronounce my surname."

Then Purple hair dared, "Letitia?"

Oh, the rabbit girl got it right. Bless you. "Except you, but still, please call me Eman."

"Okay then," Rabbit girl nodded, her ears bobbing forward. Was it me or did I see buttons pinning those things to her head? "My name is Reisen Udongein Inaba. You can call me Reisen, Mr. Eman."

Roger that. How 'bout you, Samurai girl? "My name is Konpaku Youmu, handmaid to the Mistress of Hakugyokurou, Lady Saigyouji Yuyuko."

Damn, formal.

[Charm.] I nodded to her, then I turned to Marisa, who recovered from the slap. I'm gonna continue speaking in Dollar just so I could look at the clueless look on these girls faces. [What else ya've been telling them about two nights ago?]

"Well, everything!" She proudly said, then her gaze went downcast. "Excludin' some of the more….gruesome stuff….so yeah."

"You mean when he was possessed?" What the? Alice knew English? "You mean to say that was hardly a gruesome part of the tale?"

"Which means you have deliberately omitted certain details, Ms. Marisa." Fuck me, even the rabbit girl.

"Um, what?" Except for Youmu here. Never mind.

"Hold on a sec," Yuugi raised a big hand up, leering at Marisa with a critical red eye, "You hidin' something, aint'cha Marisa?"

What? [What have you told?]

"Y'know…" She's hiding her discomfort with her usual cheery attitude, and failing. "…the fights, you goin' apeshit and attackin' me, even the part where ya died. I didn't say how though…. I also talked 'bout the shit that happened after ya were beaten to shit by Remilia."

Then Yuugi turned away from the distressed Marisa and to me, "Ya were there, werent'cha, Jimmy? What exactly happened that night at the Scarlet Devil place?"

...fuck…me.

Even Suika's peering down on me from her post on my shoulders. I guess I got everybody's attention on me.

"Eman…." I know, Marisa. No need to stop me.

I reached up, grabbed the Munchkin under the arms and placed her to the ground. After that, I said in a very firm voice, "What happened is exactly what Marisa has said to have happened. I was possessed. I attacked her in a blind rage. I was nearly killed. And it was by blessing that I came back alive. Marisa omitted the details of how everything came to be because we lack the permission of one person."

"Why not?" Yuugi asked, failing to realize the answer. "Would'a made the story more interesting."

"What she didn't mention was you coming back alive." Suika pointed out. "So yer saying ya've actually died."

I closed my eyes and forced out the experience from coming back to my thoughts. It happened, and I don't need to remember everything. "Yes, indeed. I am willing to share you my experiences, but I refuse to do so if the name of the Scarlet Devil becomes susceptible to gossip as a result."

"That is a wise move, Mr. Eman." A familiar voice said behind me.

[HUWAAA! Sakuya!] Never mind that the Maid was suddenly behind me, I even heard the two of the girls behind me yelp in surprise too. [The hell're you doin' there!?]

"To attend the party, why else would I be here?"

[Yeah, yeah, I get that. I mean: since when were you behind me?]

"Just now. I was just around the corner of the shrine when I heard you talking about two nights ago."

[….okay, thank you for answering.] I took a deep breath and calmed my alarmed nerves, [Where's your Mistress? Shouldn't you be with her?]

"I'm right here."

Behind me again!

[Huwa!]
"Hyaa!"
"KYA!"
"Wah! Rems, when'd you get here!?"

The Draculina herself was standing right behind the group inside the shrine, wearing a rather dignified look of superiority as she looked over the agitated Reisen, Youmu, and Marisa with an indifferent gaze below her as she stood on the veranda before she turned to me. "You should pay attention to your surroundings if you wish to survive in the wilderness, boy."

[Goodness.] I muttered with a frown, my hand over my chest for the second verbal backstab-hello.

"Hey, ain'tcha the Scarlet Devil, Remilia?" Yuugi asked, peering at the vampire with narrowed eyes that almost looked confrontational.

"I am, what of it?" Draculina turned to the big girl and clashed her gaze with the same superior look.

The big girl smirked, "Yer quite shorter than I expected."

Uh oh.

Anybody who was not an ogre got the message as they backed away from the distance of the two, and I immediately stepped back when Remilia's face cracked into a very malicious grin, exposing the same fangs I kept seeing when she beat me to shit in that throne room.

After a dozen seconds of the two staring down each other, the vampire finally spoke, "Appearances….can be deceiving, you big lard of muscle."

Five more steps back for me and everybody else, because that insult was thick with arrogance. I don't know what Yuugi's gonna do, but where the fuck's Reimu when ya need her? The party's gonna get fucked before it even—

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!‼!"

…okay, I actually recoiled out of absolute fright along with everybody else as we clamped our hands over our ears, unlike Reisin over there who was pinning her rabbit ears to her head.

The hell's going on? Why's Yuugi laughin'?

When Yuugi's mirth finally ran out, she patted her thick belly and blew out a really loud sigh, "Ya got that right! Suika here is an example of that expression!" She explained, placing her hand atop Suika's head. If anybody else was the receiving end of that, they would have died. The ground shook when her hand made contact.

"Indeed." Remilia pleasantly agreed, her grin now softened to a harmless leer, "My little sister can apply as a prime example herself."

"Really? Then bring 'er out sometime!" Suika told gregariously, "I wanna see how tough yer li'l sis is for a long time!"

Then everybody sighed a massive breath of relief along with me. Thank god it did not escalate into a fight, because there was no way I could have done anything to stop it. These people are not humans to begin with. I usually end a fight with my fists. Pretty sure I'll break my entire skeleton if I even dared to.

"Geez, ya scared me, Rems." Marisa told, taking a spot beside Remilia as she seated herself on the veranda, her legs dangling from the ground.

"I try to." The vampire smugly replied, smirk still remaining on her face.

[So ya finally came.] I remarked, stepping up close. [Where's Meiling, Patchouli, and Flandre?]

"Start speaking in Japanese for the sake of the other guests here, boy." She reprimanded with a firm scarlet eye, "As for your question: Patchy is not the type for social gatherings. Meiling is present, she deserves some time off her work, and as for Flan…"

A pair of cold hands clamped over my eyes. "Guess who~~~?" Somebody asked in a singsong behind me.

"She's right behind you." Remilia continued, "She has been quite excited since we left the door."

"Aw, Big Sister, don't tell him!" Wait. What the? Who is this?

[Wha…what? Who is this?]

"Eman." Remilia's low tone instantly made me freeze up. "What did I say?"

…..my goodness, since when did Remilia become the supervisor of my manners?

Ahem, "Who…are you, person behind me?"

"I'm not telling~~" The girl singsonged again. "Guess who." She whispered in a slight hiss.

…then is it…really…?

"Flandre?"

"Correct!" Then follows a childish giggle, "It's me, Flandre Scarlet, Little Sister of the Scarlet Devil! Pleased to meet you, everyone!"

The inflexion and pitch of voice was completely different, but the diction and manner of speech was everything I familiarized Flandre herself with.

The hell's going on?

"Why is it you sound different?"

"Hihi, you noticed?" 'Flandre' asked rhetorically, "Well, you have to look to find out!" She told before removing her hands off my eyes and allowing the sun to assault me, even though they were closed. Ow.

I rubbed my eyes to ease the light adjustment. After getting my vision back, I noticed that everybody who was not an ogre or belonging to the Scarlet Devil Family, especially Marisa, was frozen in shock and disbelief as they stared...

"I'm right behind you."

…at who was behind me. Whoever wasn't my witchy friend and either Yuugi or Suika, I could not mistake the fear in everyone's eyes.

It did nothing but strengthen the apprehension in my core.

As I blinked a couple more times just to steel myself, I turned around, seeing the iconic wings dangling with precious gems—

—my eyes widened instantly. My jaw hung. My mind was blown. And every thought in my head froze to a stop.

My mouth moved, as if to say something, but words fail me as my throat couldn't bring itself to work. Flandre herself was smiling in amusement at my reactions, unwittingly emphasizing the change of her look.

[Wha….what….]

"Well, what happened to me?"

"You….you….ch…"

"That's right, I aged!" She proudly proclaimed, spinning around in her new frilly dress, nearly hitting me with her wings as she faced me again, and I finally realized that her skin tone had attuned into something akin to someone who was alive. "Patchy told me that I am either 12 or 13 years old now!"

Flandre Scarlet aged, and has now become a fair-skinned Lady of the Scarlet Devil Family.

"So, Emmanuello—"

"Flan," Remilia's voice interjected, "Manners and decorum, please."

"Sorry." She sheepishly shuffled her shoe on the floor, cleared her throat, then looked up to me with a smile and a curtsy, "How do I look, Mr. Emmanuello!? Don't I seem stunning!?"