Chapter 1

Balthazar23

The Morning Sage

He had always pondered whether or not feeling bad or feeling nothing at all would be worse. He had spent quite a long time feeling what felt like nothing and now he was certain he felt nothing at all. Maybe he felt so much it seemed like nothing? How cruel life had been to him by blessing him with a godfather only for him to be taken away in an instant. To top it all off it was his own fault for not opening the mirror he had been gifted. Something that he had seethed over the entire summer in fact. Why had he been so…? Ignorant and ungrateful to say the least.

All of that had combined to secure the worst summer of his life. Narrowly beating out the summer before. Whenever he figured things couldn't get worse… they managed to with ease. The worst part being that it never directly affected him and instead had hurt Remus, Cedric, and Sirius. Always sparring him to wallow alone in his misery.

Why couldn't it be him? Why couldn't fate just end the experiment that was his life.

"How much can we do to him before he cracks?" Fate whispered.

"I dunno, let's kill his godfather next!" a voice cackled

The scene played out in his head. As dumb as it sounded he was fairly certain the conversation had occurred somewhere before. The events of his life seemed almost too… perfectly bad like a plotted out book or movie.

Whether or not the fates were conspiring against him he did now know. He did know one thing in fact. Boarding the express was not the same as it used to be. Usually on this day he would be overwhelmed by excitement and happiness. But they would have to take a back seat to the pain and guilt today.

Realistically it was all the same. The express was the same red, the laughs and goodbyes he could hear were the same, it was all so real. Yet it just did not feel the same, he felt… full at the moment and like he did not have the space to feel anything else.

It was worse than the cruciatus curse in all honesty. At least that would end in one of two ways. This seemed like it would go on forever. He had learned that from the experience of waiting and waiting the days away in his bedroom while he tried to feel something.

He couldn't even be angry anymore! He tried oh he tried to yell and scream and to curse Dumbledore for keeping him in the dark, he tried to shout and break things at his own stupidity but alas it amounted to nothing.

The numbness ruled him now. Maybe it would be better that way? It couldn't be worse right? His heart had carried him this far into the darkness and thinking back he had made very few correct choices thus far. Maybe he would let old brain have at it this year.

He walked up to the train and found an empty compartment. Stowing his bags away he took a seat close to the window and gazed out at all of the smiling families. Oh how proud they were that their child would be attending Hogwarts. Except what they didn't know was that the school was not protected by the professors nor the suits of armor. While he wished it was the duty of protecting the school was in the hands of Harry James Potter. Maybe he should've just let Voldemort go and find the stone. The mirror in hindsight would have stopped him anyway. Maybe then people would stop looking to him to save the day.

He felt a sense of duty when he would save the school or another student. He genuinely wanted to protect them all as best as he could. But it seemed with each time there were casualties he was not willing to live with.

He wished things would be different this year but he was sure they would not be. Luckily the one thing he had going for him was the fact that he accepted a new challenge would arise each year for him and his two best friends to handle.

Ron, the first person he had met on the express. He was lazy and he was a slob, but the boy had faced his fears head on to help. He had stuck by him, most of the time and at least he had apologized when he hadn't. They were almost brothers, in all but blood. He had no doubt he would follow him into any unknown battle.

Hermione, his best friend. She had been there for him through it all. When the chamber had opened she had been there. When it seemed a deranged prisoner was after him she had stood between them. When the goblet had called out his name Hermione had never doubted him for a moment. Even Ron couldn't say that.

Then last year she had helped him start the DA, well actually it was her idea. She had convinced him to run it and eventually he had agreed. Thinking on it during the summer he was sure he would be continuing it. Considering it was one of the few things he truly enjoyed about last year. He would have to ask his head of house about becoming a professor one day and what he would have to do.

For now, he would worry about the task at hand. Getting to Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione were probably at their prefect meeting and would be joining him shortly. For now he was alone in hi-

Knock!

"Come in?" Harry replied confused.

Opening the door it framed one Luna Lovegood. The whimsical blonde that had been one of his main supporters the year before. She was a year below them, and always seemed to get lost in her own thoughts. One thing he admired about her was her sense of positivity. Even though she had been through something sort of like he had, losing her mother when she was young.

She had been a good friend to him, even coming with him to the ministry. For that he would always respect her, and if he could he would protect her.

"Hey Harry, you look deep in thought." Luna commented.

"Hello Luna, how was your summer?" Harry asked with a small smile.

"Oh it was okay. I wrote a few articles for my father which was nice." Luna said dreamily.

"That sounds great Luna. Would you like to sit?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes I would love to." Luna replied excitedly.

Harry stood and helped her get her trunk into the compartment before she took the seat across from him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"I am… okay I think." Harry lied.

"Maybe later in the year we could talk? And we could put out a story about Sirius so everyone can learn the whole truth." Luna suggested warmly.

"I'd like that. Thank you." Harry replied with a smile.

"No problem Harry."

They sat in a silence as the train departed.

It didn't take long for his two best friends to arrive.

Opening the compartment his friends were revealed. Ron had gotten taller yet again and would soon be towering over him unless he started to catch up. His hair had grown longer since the year before and it was starting to get bad again. He was smiling and easily lifted his trunk into the compartment.

"Sorry Harry, new rules for this year I guess with the you-know-who about. Had to tell us beforehand I suppose." Ron said taking a seat next to Luna unconsciously.

"Hello Ronald." Luna said dreamily.

Jumping slightly in surprise, Ron righted himself.

"Bloody hell!" Ron screeched.

Harry let out a small laugh before catching sight of his other best friend.

Hermione Granger stood at just about his height. She was fair skinned and had brown locks that cascaded down her shoulders. Her eyes, a shade of brown that cut through any situation to find the facts. To know, that was what drove her. While many thought she belonged to the house of the Raven she had proven that without a doubt she was a lion at heart.

Harry almost dove for her trunk, lifting it into the overhead with the others. After all she had done for him it was the least he could do. Looking to her she smiled at him before they took their seats next to one another.

"Well it was important Ron. Dumbledore does not want anyone outside of the school without a teacher or prefect escort. For anyone under fourth year anyway. Otherwise he wants everyone to travel in pairs, he said we couldn't be too careful and he wanted house points and detentions assigned if anyone broke them." Hermione explained.

"It's for the best. Who knows what will happen next. And if I'm sure of anything it is that Malfoy will have something to do with it." Harry agreed.

"Harry, I understand what you think you saw but we can't tell Dumbledore without any proof." Hermione replied.

"He owes me Hermione, Dumbledore owes me and I am going to use it. He needs to listen to me." Harry said sullenly.

"I'm with Harry on this one. Evil bloke who has been plotting to kill muggleborns and has hated… just about everyone. His dead is a death eater why not him?" Ron exclaimed.

"I know! All I am saying is we need some sort of proof before we say anything. Just because Dumbledore might owe you something doesn't mean he'd be willing to risk getting in trouble over something that can be seen as a petty rivalry. " Hermione explained.

He wanted to get mad, but she was right about needing some kind of proof. Although he was fairly sure the proof that he needed was already marked across the man's arm. All it would take is one slip up, or maybe even a trip to the hospital wing for it to come to light. With everything he had been through recently he'd be glad to deliver. He would only have to make sure Snape wasn't there to interfere and save the boy like he always did.

"I know this is unusual of me, but I have a plan." Harry replied.

"Oh Harry!" Hermione swooned.

"The way I see it. Snape knows, or he probably does if what we saw means what we think it does. So, we need him out of the picture. Maybe we can get someone from the DA to distract him. Neville maybe you know how those two get along. Then all we need to do is break Malfoy's arm. He'll be sent to Pomfrey and she will see the mark, or not. I think it's a win either way frankly." Harry explained his plan.

"Harry… while I find the idea of you actually planning something out very enticing. You can't just break his arm! You could get expelled!" Hermione scolded.

"Hermione, Dumbledore won't let me leave my relatives house for the summer to protect me there is no way he would kick me out of Hogwarts. Plus Fred, George, and I beat the pulp out of him last year and we were only banned from playing." Harry challenged.

"I think Harry's right, can I break his arm?" Ron replied casually.

"Sorry mate, get in line." Harry said flatly, making his friends laugh.

"When are we going to do it then?" Hermione asked begrudgingly.

"Well, I need to practice the spell so I'll give that a couple days. Then we do it, would rather get my detentions out of the way early if I'm wrong." Harry concluded.

"Is there any way I can help?" Luna asked softly.

Harry thought for a moment, trying to see if all of their bases were covered. Between him, Hermione, and Ron they could hold their own against any of Malfoy's goons. Neville was very capable of slowing down their much loved potions professor. But there was always one thing they could try.

"Come with us. Ron and Hermione are my best friends. But you, just say you saw Malfoy cast first. Might help us out." Harry replied with a smile.

"Sounds fun." Luna said happily.

"I can't tell if I want you to be right or wrong." Hermione said, sitting back into the bench.

Knock! Knock!

"Come in." Harry called out.

The doors swung open to reveal an itty bitty first year. Standing around half of his height with brown hair and a nervous expression on his face. His palms were clenched and he was looking down at the ground to avoid their gaze.

"How can we help you?" Harry asked politely.

"Pro-Professor Slughorn asked me to get you Mister Potter. He wants you to come have a meal with him and some of his friends." The boy replied shakingly.

"Could you show me the way?" Harry asked, the boy nodded in reply.

"I'll be back guys, hold down the fort Luna." Harry said which emitted a laugh from his friends.

The boy lead him towards the front of the train. It looked like nothing had changed. The dark lord was back, well confirmed to be back. The only difference now was that he was not getting the same glares he had gotten only the year before. Not that they still didn't stare, they did but in another way. The Chosen One the papers wrote. Little did they know they more or less hit the spell on target with that one. As far as he knew anyway, depending if what Dumbledore said was true.

Soon they entered a large compartment. Where a round table was standing, housing half a dozen people he recognized from the school. By his count three of them were from his own house. Then a Ravenclaw boy and a Hufflepuff also sat. Feasting on whatever foods they had been offered. Before he could thank the young boy who had helped him he was gone.

"Harry my boy it is good to see you again! This is Cormac, Ginny who I know you are familiar with, Rodger Davis, and Marcus Smart! Please sit!" Slughorn said seating him directly to the left of himself.

He shot Ginny a look that he hoped communicated 'Oh Brother' and received a smile in return. The others around the table stared at him much the same as he had in the hallway. With a sense of awe if he had to guess. If only they had the same feelings last year when he had needed them the most. Of course it had taken a battle and death for them to come to their senses. He would've thought that by now he had secured the trust of his house at least. Alas things were not always ideal.

They sat and talked of more or less what their families did. Slughorn seemed to know what each and every one of their parents, uncles, aunts all did for a living. Considering he couldn't remember a single date from history of magic he found it impressive if not annoying. He told them how he had seen Ginny hex a boy in the hall and that was why she had been invited. Then Harry informed him that she had been at the ministry with him as well as his other friends who had remained nameless in the papers.

They sat in the compartment for more than an hour just talking. Well listening was more like it. Slughorn rattled off names of people he knew from pro quidditch players to former ministers and department heads. All in all Harry found it a bit pathetic and reminded him of his uncle when he would threaten people over the phone with people's names. If anything Harry only thought he should at least sign his own threats.

Slughorn dismissed the group and they all filtered out back to their seats. Harry found his compartment after stumbling into one where two Ravenclaws were studying anatomy. After that embarrassing exchange he found his own compartment where Ron was sorting through chocolate frog cards he likely got off the trolley. Luna was reading her magazine the only right way which is upside down. While Hermione had her nose stuck in, you guessed it. Hogwarts a History.

Ah it was good to be home.