A rose? Where did a rose come from? Perhaps the nun brought it in….. while I was sleeping. Creepy!
I forgot about it surprisingly fast. I got up, had a shower and got dressed, and went to meet Christian at the airport. The last text he sent to me read: [Will be landing in six hours]. That was late last night. The airport was pretty busy for a Sunday; but then, airports here are always busy. Christian's plane hadn't arrived by the time I got there, so I used the opportunity to wipe all texts from my burner phone- just in case- god forbid- a Dollar or Mr. Bodyguard finds it. Luckily for me, his plane had landed by the time that was done.
An array of people got off and there he was- Christian Grey. I merely observed as he rushed out, glancing around until he saw me. He saw me and we stared for I don't know how long. It wasn't that long though as we hurried over to each other; he scanned me repeatedly in a concerned fashion. "Anastasia! Are you ok?"
I have no idea why but right then I was overcome with this urge to hug him. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and hold him close, but refrained. He's here, but that doesn't mean I can get attached. I can treasure this time together, so long as I don't get attached… Instead I clasped my hands in front of me and smiled. "I'm fine. I'm sorry, Christian; this whole thing was so sudden and…." "No, don't apologize; I get it," he held up his hand while breathing a small sigh of relief; I swore I could see the hint of a grin in the corner of his lips. He then looked me straight in the eye.
"Your dad's worried about you. You're his only immediate family left; of course he's going to be concerned for your welfare and very protective." "Oh, thanks for understanding, Christian. I…. Wait," my eyes began to grow confused. He blinked to me also in confusion. "What is it, Anastasia?" "How… How did you know I'm Daddy's only family left?" It sounds bizarre coming from my mouth, but it was a legitimate question. Christian's expression morphed into one of stun and bewilderment, like he had no coherent answer to give me. His mouth opened but it took a moment for any words to fall out. It's like….. It's like he was running through the motions in his mind. "I don't…. I don't know. It's just something I know, but I didn't learn it from you or anyone. It's just there….." His gaze rolled out into nowhere ponderingly; I think he was struggling with this more than me. It was like the knowledge was just implanted in his brain or something. It's there somehow….. "Each time you look at me while awake, you kiss me with your eyes. I know you love me, even if you do not consciously remember it." Something's definitely there…. down deep in our subconscious- unable to be accessed by conscious thought.
I gave my head a firm shake. What the heck am I thinking about just now? That's just nonsense. Still…. I decided to drop it, seeing how perplexed this made Christian. My smile simply softened upon him in a kind way. "Thank you, Christian, for coming all this way." "Oh, Anastasia- it wasn't a choice. I had to see with my own eyes that you were alright." I think….. I think he immediately regretted saying this; it just came out so naturally, organically… like he was being unguarded and honest for a sheer second. While my cheeks turned the brightest shade of red and my eyes widened, he flinched a little alarmed by the words coming out of his mouth. He cleared his throat and straightened up, going into immediate repair mode.
"I mean, I'm glad to see you're well, Anastasia." "Christian…." My cheeks were still burning. He didn't mean to say it, but I heard him. I heard… "Where have you been staying?" "At this convent near the cathedral." "Is it gated?" "Yes." "Good," another sigh of relief. This man… I kept watching him with the widest of eyes. He really cares about me…. and only after knowing me for such a short period. Why? And why do I feel like I'm on cloud nine right now? Why do I feel "that" way…. whenever he looks at me with those flawless blue eyes of his? As irony would have it, Christian looked at me right now, and my heart skipped a beat- several beats. I was still astounded how someone could look better- both inside and out- each time you looked at them. Was such a thing even possible? Evidently so…..
"Where are you staying?" I had to break the sudden spell I was under. "At a hotel near the airport, but I'm going to switch to a place closer to where you are staying." Christian… Why… Why did he have to say things like that? It didn't help anything when he smiled my way. "Now then, how would you like to spend our time here, Miss Steele?" "Huh? Oh! We can do whatever you want. I'm happy with anything you like." He chuckled. "In that case, I've already pre-booked us passes to all the museums in Florence." "You what?" My jaw literally dropped. He managed to get passes on such short notice?! How awesome was that?! His expression mirrored my elated grin.
"Which museum would you like to visit first? We have all day," after he switches hotels of course. I thought for a moment. "Uh, how about Galleria dell'Accademia?" I'm sure I was pronouncing that wrong. He nodded. "Perfect." Oh boy, did I flinch hard when he suddenly grabbed my hand. This time I was quick enough to yank it away from him, taking a step backward. "W-what are you doing?!" I gasped a little too loud. He blinked over at me puzzled for a second. Then the most tender smile graced his lips. "We're fake boyfriend and girlfriend, aren't we? We're supposed to look like a couple." Fake…. Oh right! Technically we haven't terminated that relationship contract yet. Until I formally ended it, we were still in a pretend relationship. I was allowed to pretend here, to keep pretending….. Without thought, without hesitation, I suddenly and unconsciously found myself dashing over to him; my arms hugged his tightly. He seemed all too happy with this, shining his smile down upon me. Together like that, we left the airport arm-in-arm.
We did everything that day. We went from museum to museum, only stopping when we needed something to drink in between. Of course we also visited Dante Alighieri's house too; couldn't visit Florence and go there as an English major. I told Christian all about Florence's history, the writers and philosophers from there, and much more. He even took my picture in front of the Machiavelli statue; yes, I've read and own "The Prince"- don't judge me.
By evening, we went to a little café for a rest. Christian ordered a coffee and slice of cake, while I got tea with strawberries and whipped cream- which I loved. We ate outside with the cathedral in view behind us. This gorgeous man watched me quietly while I ate merrily. Eventually he broke the comfortable silence.
"Are you happy, Anastasia?" "Oh, yes; very. What about you? Are you happy?" "Of course I'm happy; I'm with you." This made me pause for a moment. He's with me…. We're together, for now; just for now. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask. That bracelet on your wrist… is that from Paul?" I blinked up surprised. "Huh? Oh, this! Yeah, he slipped this into my bag that night we all went to the bar," my eyes scrolled down to it thoughtfully. Christian was also looking at it, rubbing his finger under his chin; he wasn't smiling. "Are you…. ok with it?" "Yes, keep it on. I think it's useful for you to have." Whoa! That's not the answer I was expecting but good! I didn't want to take it off anyway. I nodded before returning to my parfait. But I hesitated with my spoon half way up to my mouth.
What am I doing? Christian's here because I texted him; it was me who initiated contact again. I don't… I don't want him to get the wrong idea or to lead him on. After all, I knew it was impossible for us to have a future together. I didn't….. It would be unethical for me to let him get his hopes up. More than anything, I had to be honest with him- about this anyway. I don't want to hurt him…. He's been so good to me; I don't want to see him get hurt. He doesn't deserve that.
"Anastasia?" Christian's eyebrow rose as I set my spoon back in the bowl. I looked up at me with sincerity permeating all throughout my eyes. He could already tell this was serious just by my stare alone. My hand rolled into uncomfortable fists on my lap. "Christian, can you… do something for me?" "Yes, anything- just name it." I drew in a deep, deep breath; this was going to be painful. "Please don't… get attached to me," this was so hard to say out loud; it sounded much easier in my head. His eyes grew in shock, but he didn't say anything, giving me the opportunity to continue.
"I'm not like other women…. I can't…. with my family and everything, I can't… I-I'm not in the position to fall in love. I don't… do the boyfriend thing; I can't. Hearts and flowers- that's not something I know," despite wanting to. He still didn't utter a word, letting me carry on. "I like you, Christian…. but this can't happen- anything. I'm not the woman for you…. I… I have to let you go," god, this was agonizing. I didn't want to say any of this; more than anything, I wanted things to be different. But I'm not an idiot- I know this is the way things are….. the way they have to be. We're from different worlds and….. "Either you succeed me or marry the man who does." I can't drag him into my world; he's too good a man for that.
While I stared down at my lap, ready to burst out into tears now, Christian stared at me. He watched me silently for the longest time. I admit, I was surprised by his poised, almost calm reaction. He was startled but not overly shocked, I think. Instead he wore this look of understanding, almost confidence…. for some reason. In essence, he looked much too calm for a man who in all layman terms just got rejected. He eventually leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands together; all while still observing me intently.
"Is that how you really feel, Anastasia?" What? "I-it doesn't matter how I feel; that's the way things are." "Yes, it does; it matters how you feel." It matters how I feel…. There's something no one has said to me before. He saw my face and smiled, knowing he had a foothold. "I recall you telling me that you want to fall in love and get married someday." "You remember that!?" My eyes shot up to him dumbfounded. That dinner we had that time… He remembered what I said? His grin effortlessly grew. "Of course- you said that you want real love and to marry whomever you pleased." "C-Christian!" My hand rose up a little. Wait, I remember that day…. I remember.
"That's right; you wanted me to tell you a secret," I also recall telling him that I come from a big "family". How did he know that I was Daddy's only real family left then….? That's not what I said that day. Our eyes met again; my gaze intensifying. "And if I recall correctly, you said that there's someone very close to your heart- a woman. She's been there for… what was it….. eight years? You said she's close to you now?" His head very slowly and solemnly nodded, with his eyes not leaving mine. "W-who… who is she? You never said…." Likely the woman he loves; I couldn't look straight at him while asking this. He didn't reply right away; the edges of his eyes both tenderizing and intensifying at once. "She's the one I'm going to marry- the only woman I've ever looked at before; the only woman I can look at." My breath stilled for a moment, our eyes meeting once more; his deeply passionate and mine puzzled. "You're…. looking at me right now." Oh, his smile…. his smile.
"I know."