Disclaimer: You know how it goes. I don't own nothin'.
Tori couldn't help but worry. It had been weird the past few days. Jade and Beck hadn't been talking. To each other, or to anyone else really. Jade sometimes joined the conversation, but she seemed to be lost inside her own head. And Beck… well, Beck just watched Jade, his eyebrows drawing together and the corner of his mouth turning down. Tori had asked Andre about it, but he shrugged it off. "This is what they do. They fight, Jade gives Beck the cold shoulder, and then all the sudden they're runnin' hot again." Cat had said almost the same thing, only not quite as articulate and there had been a rant about the time her brother ran hot and it turned out he was on fire, but it seemed that Tori was the only one besides Jade or Beck who thought anything was wrong. Everyone just carried on like everything was normal, hoping that soon enough it would be. But sometimes Tori caught Jade just looking at her. Across the table at lunch, down the hall when they were both at their lockers, all the time in Sikowitz's class and their screenwriting one. If Tori ever caught her eyes, Jade would slap a bored, uninterested look on her face and turn away, like she hadn't meant for her eyes to land on Tori. It was confusing, certainly, but Tori couldn't really complain. If it meant that she might have a shot at having Jade in her life again, even as a shadow of the friend she used to be, then Tori was all for it. She'd seen when Jade cracked, when the truth broke through whatever mask of lies Jade was hiding behind. Even if it was only for a minute, a question asked while they were tucked away on the swings in the park or a slip of the tongue when Jade had called Cat 'kitten', it showed. Tori knew that Jade, her Jade, was still there. And she was determined to wait as long as she had to until the entire mask slipped away.
What Tori did mind, though, was how Beck started to look at her. It was just small glances at first. Across the lunch table or in class. But then Beck started following Jade's gaze, and Tori was always at the end of it. And his head would tip ever so slightly to the side and his eyes would narrow just a fraction of an inch, like he wasn't sure what he was looking at. And it bothered her because, while Jade was so stuck in her head that her eyes just kind of landed on Tori, Beck's gaze was always questioning. Like he was trying to figure out what was going on in Jade's head and Tori was somehow key to that. So when Beck approached her between classes on Thursday, Tori kind of figured what he was going to say.
"I know this might be weird," he started, leaning against the locker next to hers, "but like, you and Jade aren't close, right?"
Tori shrugged in response as she opened her locker. "She's being friendlier, if you can call it that, but we're not close, no."
Beck nodded. "Yeah, I didn't think so. But the way she looks at you sometimes," he trailed off, his eyes settling on the contents of Tori's locker.
"I didn't think she looked at me that much if she could help it," Tori said with a rather forced laugh, trying to lighten the mood.
"That's the thing." Beck stood upright and Tori was fully aware of just how tired his eyes looked. "I don't think she can help it."
Tori sighed and turned away from her locker to look at him. "Look, Beck, I'm sorry if things are kinda weird between you guys, but I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you could ask Cat? She and Jade seem pretty tight, right?"
Beck lifted one shoulder and Tori watched as it dropped in defeat. "Yeah. Maybe. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dragged you into it."
"No," Tori said, reaching out to lay a hand on his arm, "you didn't. Don't worry. I'm sure Jade will come around eventually and you guys'll be good as new." She patted his arm awkwardly. She didn't even believe what she had just said, and it was obvious Beck didn't either. He just sort of nodded his head and wandered away as the warning bell rang for their next class. "Shoot," Tori said to herself, hurrying up to grab her books before slamming her locker shut. She made it to screenwriting just as the bell rang. "Close call, Tori. Take your seat," the teacher said as Tori gave a curt nod and scurried to her desk. She slid into her seat, trying as discreetly as possible to look at Jade. She didn't have to look very hard, because Jade was watching her, that same contemplative, almost distant, look in her eyes that she had had all week. Jade gave a slight shake of her head and looked to the front of the room. Tori wasn't sure if Jade was shaking her head at her, or just to clear her mind, but throughout class she caught the girl's eyes several more times.
"Jade!" Tori called, hurrying through the hallway. Jade had practically run from the class just like she always did, and left Tori gasping in her dust.
"What?" Jade asked in a bored voice, turning around when Tori caught up to her.
"I, uh, finished the first draft of that paper," Tori said. "If you give me your email I'll send it to you when I get home."
Jade's brow furrowed and they stood in silence for a moment before Jade gave an almost imperceptible nod of her head. She reached into her bag and pulled out a pen as Tori's eyes wandered to the students around them. Jade grabbed Tori's left arm and scribbled out her email across Tori's skin. "It better not be a piece of shit, Vega," Jade said with a pointed click of her pen before turning and walking away. Tori stared at the letters on her forearm. She blinked slowly and her arm dropped back to her side. Her arm felt like it was on fire. Like the ink had burned the letters into her and Jade's fingers had branded her skin. The hallway had emptied around her and she forced her feet to move as the bell rang, telling her she was late for her next class.
Her vocal teacher looked angry but said she would let it slide when Tori explained that she was late because she had been discussing a paper for another class. Her teacher seemed to think Tori had been talking to a teacher, and Tori didn't correct her. Instead she just took her seat, getting a whispered "Nice tattoo" from Andre. She looked at him a bit confused, and he just pointed to her arm with a grin. "Yeah, you know me. Always the rebel," Tori murmured, earning a laugh from him. She kept her forearm pressed against her stomach for the rest of the day, though.
She was at her locker, sorting through her books and waiting for Trina before she saw Jade again. And even then it was quick. Tori reached up to put a book in her locker and Jade walked by. "Damn, Vega, don't you ever shower?" Tori looked confused for a moment and then realized that the ink was still on display. She quickly lowered her arm, but Jade was already gone. A minute later Trina came up to her, talking away even though Tori wasn't listening or acknowledging her at all. Trina started walking when Tori did, seeming to be on auto-pilot as Tori half led her to the parking lot. And then they were in the car and Trina was singing, like she always did when she was in a vehicle. And then a commercial came on the radio and Trina started switching the station, looking for something good. "Eww, Tori, do you have a rash?"
"Huh?" Tori asked, snapping out of her daze.
"You keep touching your arm. Are you getting a rash?" Trina's attention was divided between the road and the radio display. "Because, if you are, you're so not allowed in my car anymore."
"What? No, Trina." Tori turned towards the window, trying to block her arm from her sister's view. Her fingers twitched across her skin, tracing the ink that was still there.
Tori was out of the car and inside the house before Trina had even managed to unbuckle her seatbelt. Tori went straight to her room, barely shoving a foot out to close her door in her haste. She threw her bag on her bed, the rest of her body following right after, and she threw open the top of her laptop that was sitting by her pillows. The screen came to life and Tori entered her password, a necessity with a sister as unconcerned with privacy as Trina was, and clicked on her web browser. She logged into her email, saw a few new messages and notifications from The Slap in her inbox, but ignored them as she started a new draft.
Tori probably wrote and deleted a hundred different emails in her search of what to say. She knew what she should say. Hey, Jade, here's the report. Lemme know how your draft goes. And that should be it. But even though her brain was telling her fingers to type that, Tori's hands kept getting sidetracked. Hitting keys and typing out words and sentences that had absolutely no place in an email about school work. After all, Jade probably didn't care that Tori could remember the exact date of when they first camped out in her backyard (July 28th) or what they ate for dinner the first time Jade ever slept over at her house (spaghetti, how exciting.) Tori groaned, forced her fingers to obey her conscious mind, attached the document, and hit send. And then she made the mistake of looking at her arm.
She bolted out of bed, threw open her door, and booked it to the bathroom down the hall. She threw the tap on and shoved her hand under the water, scrubbing viciously at the ink. Nothing happened. She grabbed for the soap, filled her palm with the liquid, and resumed scrubbing. Still nothing. After several minutes of scrubbing and basically clawing at the ink with her nails, Tori had only gotten it to fade a little and now her skin was red. There was a knock at the door and then Trina's head popping into the bathroom. "Are you done taking a bath in the sink? I gotta waz." Tori kicked at the door, earning a scream of surprise in return. She turned back to the sink and shut off the faucet, still staring at her arm. Maybe Jade actually had tattooed her. No, she thought as she grabbed a towel, that was ridiculous. She dried her arm and hands off, sighing heavily as she dropped the towel on the edge of the counter.
Tori remembered how it felt the first time she was alone in the house. She was ten, and her mom was running late from work. Trina had been kept after school in detention for talking too much during class. And Tori and Jade were curled up on the couch, leaning against one another with one eye on the front door while they watched tv. Okay, she wasn't really alone since Jade was there, but it was just the two of them, and to Tori, that counted as alone. Because there wasn't any Trina to annoy them or any parents to check up on them. It was Tori and her best friend watching a movie that Mrs. Vega probably wouldn't have wanted them to watch if she had been home. But she wasn't. So they did. And Tori's mouth fell open and Jade's eyes grew wide as the man on screen took off his shirt and the woman kissed him. And then, because they were ten, they laughed and said it was gross and changed the channel. But that one kiss stayed in Tori's mind. The way the music swelled in the background and how the two people kissing seemed to merge into one being. She wanted a kiss like that, and she was determined to get it one day.
Tori had to wear a long sleeved shirt on Friday. She had tried, with renewed vigor that morning, to get rid of the mark Jade had left on her arm. Because that's what it was. It was a black fire that had scorched Tori and wouldn't go away. But she had barely made it fade any more than it was the night before. And Tori thought that maybe Jade had meant to do that, because Jade took one glance at Tori's sleeve and smirked. No one else said anything, because it was just a shirt and plenty of people had long sleeves, or jackets, but Jade seemed to find it amusing. Tori couldn't help but feel like the spark in Jade's eyes was a result of the knowledge that Tori couldn't erase her from her skin. Because Tori could feel Jade on her arm all day long.
"I like your shirt, Tori," Cat said as Tori sat down at the lunch table.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tori asked, the slightest hint of desperation creeping into her voice.
"I think it means she likes your shirt," Andre stated, an eyebrow arched in confusion.
Okay. Or maybe Tori was reading too much into it and needed to chill. "A little on edge are we, Vega?" Jade asked, mirth in her voice and that smirk on her face.
"No," Tori tried to defend herself, "I just didn't sleep well, is all."
"Oh, I'm just the most exhausted little thing today! Someone assist me, I'm overcome with the vapors!"
"I don't talk like that! And what does that even mean?"
"It means you need to calm down, girl," Andre said, patting her arm gently. Tori huffed and squirmed in her seat, only settling down when she saw the smirk on Jade's face slip and shatter on the table. Jade's eyes were hard, staring at something behind Andre. Or someone, Tori corrected herself as she turned her head and saw Beck and Robbie walking towards them. Cat glanced at Jade and scooted, the tiniest amount, closer to her. Beck set his tray down between Cat and Andre, and then lowered himself onto the bench while Robbie took up the seat between Tori and Jade. There was a ripple through the group. An unspoken agreement of some sort and Cat was the first to talk, although Tori didn't really pay attention. Instead she looked at Cat but watched Jade, seeing the way her shoulders had fallen and she poked at her food without actually taking an interest in it. Had they broken up? She hadn't heard anything. Either shouting in the halls or rumors from other students. Or even from Cat and Andre. Or Beck, himself, during classes. Although, thinking about it, Tori had noticed that Jade didn't sit next to Beck during Sikowitz's. And he did seem unusually quiet all morning. Andre seemed to be reading her mind, or maybe the confusion written across her face, because he touched her hand and when she looked at him, his eyes said, very clearly, not to talk about it. He had nothing to worry about with that one.
"So you're all still coming to the play tomorrow, right?" Cat asked, bringing Tori's focus back to the present. "Because you all promised and I'm really excited about it." Cat's comment seemed to be directed at Jade and Beck, because she glanced at them nervously.
"We'll all still go, Cat," Jade said without looking up from her lunch. Beck gave a grunt of assent and Cat relaxed, giving them both a small smile that neither of them saw. Tori tried to give Cat a reassuring smile when she caught her eye.
Lunch was pretty strained, with everyone except Beck and Jade trying to make pleasant conversation. Wallpapering over the awkward and hoping for the best. There were gaps in the panels, though, and it still showed through. Tori was kind of glad when it was over and they all headed to their next class. She walked with Robbie and they took their usual seats next to each other. "If you make me go to that play tomorrow, I will kill you," Rex said, face turned to Robbie.
"Did Jade and Beck break up?" Tori blurted.
Puppet and master, although Robbie was hardly Rex's master, turned and looked at her. "Aren't you a little genius," Rex said.
"They had a big fight last night," Robbie said as the desks filled up around them. "They aren't really saying anything about it, but I overheard Beck telling Andre this morning."
"Overheard? More like eavesdropped," Rex said before Robbie clamped a hand over his mouth.
Tori nodded and turned in her desk as the teacher walked in. So Beck had told Andre, and Jade must have told Cat, because it was obvious that Cat knew. But if Robbie had only heard Beck telling Andre that they had a fight, then maybe they hadn't broken up? Although, things had obviously been strained between them all week, so maybe they had? Tori wasn't sure why it was bothering her so much. Sure, they were her friends and she cared about them, but she shouldn't have the need to know. Tori was vaguely aware of her fingers tracing patterns against the sleeve of her left arm. She yanked her hand away roughly, hitting her elbow on the edge of the desk behind her and pain shot through her arm. "Shit!"
"Tori!" The teacher's voice was a surprised gasp. "Did you- you just- Tori!"
"I'm sorry! I hit my elbow!" Tori said quickly, hoping that she wasn't about to get into too much trouble. The teacher just stared at her, mouth hanging open in shock. "Detention?" Tori asked, rubbing her elbow.
"Seems fitting," the teacher said sharply, opening one of her drawers and pulling out a piece of pink paper. The class was silent as she grabbed a pen and filled it out then walked over and placed it on Tori's desk. "I'll be giving a copy to the office, so don't even think about skipping." Robbie let out a low whistle as the teacher returned to the front of the class.
"Oh, can it, Shapiro," Tori groaned, grabbing the paper and bending over to shove it in her bag.
Tori felt like a criminal for the rest of class. The teacher kept shooting her dirty glances like she was going to break out in a string of expletives at any moment. Other students were turning around to openly stare at her, some even nodding like they were impressed, which Tori wasn't proud of. She was all too glad when the bell rang and left as quickly as she could. She was one of the first to arrive to screenwriting, as usual, and took her normal desk by the window. She opened her bag and pulled out her notebook, setting it down. She turned to grab her book, but another hand had beaten her and was slowly withdrawing from her bag. Tori's eyes grew wide as Jade pulled out her detention slip. "My my," Jade said, turning so her body was between Tori and the paper. "What do we have here?"
"Give it back."
"Using profanity in the classroom?" Jade spun around, her eyebrow arched. Tori noticed how the sun shining through the window hit the small piercing in Jade's eyebrow. It also made her eyes look an unnatural shade of blue, almost green. "What did you say, Vega?"
"Give it back, Jade," Tori sighed, snatching for the paper.
Jade raised her hand, holding the paper out of Tori's reach. She tilted her head to the side, giving Tori an appraising look. Slowly her hand lowered and Tori grabbed the detention slip back, quickly shoving it into her bag. "I didn't think you had it in you." Jade's voice was soft and… almost disappointed? Tori's eyes snapped up and Jade had that distant look again. "I guess anyone can surprise you." It was quiet, probably a thought spoken aloud, but Tori felt something run down her spine. Jade shook her head and walked away. But she didn't take her normal desk, even though it was empty. She was one row over from where she usually sat. One row closer to Tori. Tori tried not to think about what that might mean. She kind of failed.
Andre teased her all through their vocal class. Apparently word had spread that Tori Vega had gotten detention. She didn't understand why that was such a surprise, or why so many students seemed to care, but apparently they did. "First the tattoo and now cussing at a teacher," Andre said with a sigh as he turned to Cat. "We better start savin' up some money for her bail." Cat giggled and Tori smacked his arm, earning a disapproving glare from their teacher, who was working with a student. "You better be careful, Tori," Cat said, leaning across Andre. "You might get another detention."
"Shut up," Tori whined, covering her face with her hands.
Luckily there wasn't too much else said about it. Tori made it through last period with only one boy leaning across his desk to give her a thumbs up, and she only rolled her eyes and gestured for him to sit back down. But then the bell rang, and she trudged through the hallways, trying to delay the inevitable. Trina cornered her near her locker and asked if it was true. Tori said it was and Trina said that sucked but she wasn't waiting around for an hour and Tori would have to take the bus home. Trina did give her some money, but it was only thirty-seven cents, which wouldn't get her very far. Tori said bye to Cat when they passed in the hall and headed off to the classroom written on that stupid pink paper. Tori walked in and saw a teacher sitting at a desk, his feet propped up on its edge. "Is this detention?"
"It certainly is," he said, holding out a hand and dropping his feet to the floor. Tori handed him the paper and he pointed to the room while he read it. "Take a seat, Vega." Tori groaned and dragged her feet down one of the aisles, dropping into a random desk. "Whoa," the teacher said, looking up at her. "You cussed out a teacher?"
Tori's mouth fell open. "I did not!"
"Alright, calm your britches, it was just a question," he said with a chuckle, making a note on the attendance sheet. Tori folded her arms as a couple of students came in. One more girl walked in, handed him her slip and strolled to the back of the class like she owned the room. Tori cocked an eyebrow as the teacher stood up and closed the door. "Okay, everyone's here. You're not supposed to do anything except sit there and think about what you've done and feel bad about it, but that's boring. So be productive. Do some homework. Text your friends. Whatever your little hearts desire! Just don't make noise." Who was this guy? He was worse than Sikowitz. Tori watched him sit back down, kicking his feet up again, and sighed. She had an hour of detention and then a very long bus ride that meant she wouldn't get home any time soon. So she opened her bag and figured she better get started on her homework.
She didn't have a lot of work to do, so there was still about twenty minutes left when she packed up her things. Seeing the other students all had their phones out, Tori shrugged and pulled her own out of her bag. She pulled up the Slap, checking her notifications. Andre and Cat had both left comments telling her not to turn into a delinquent. Rex had commented with 'too late'. Beck had changed his relationship status. Wait, what? Tori did a double take. There, official and for the entire school to see, was Beck Oliver: Not in a relationship. And right below it, Jade West: Not in a relationship. Tori's heart did a weird thing. It half-flipped, realized what it was doing and tried to stop itself. It just resulted in a strange thud and some twitching in her chest. About fifty people had liked each status. Tori clicked, scrolling through the list. Of course Beck's was entirely girls, and Tori recognized a few names of people that had been obvious about their crushes on Beck for some time. Then she went back and clicked on Jade's. Tori wasn't sure what it meant that Jade's was a mix of boys and girls. Probably nothing, she told herself as she closed the app and put her phone away. She couldn't stop her eyes from drifting to her arm, though.
Tori liked hugs. They could cheer her up if she was sad, they could annoy Trina if she timed them right, they told her that her mom and dad loved her. They could mean all sorts of things. 'I love you' or 'I'm glad we're friends or 'you're my sister and we kind of have to hug it out and make up since I may or may not have ruined your favorite sweater by throwing it in the pool'. Hugs were versatile, and Tori liked that about them. But her favorite hugs, even more than the ones her mom gave her when she was scared or the excited ones she would give everyone on their birthday, were the ones from Jade. Because Jade wasn't a hugger. And if someone who doesn't like hugs gives you one, you'd better appreciate it. Tori knew that. She knew that Jade would just pat her back or dodge Tori's arms altogether if Tori tried to hug her. So whenever Jade would actually hug Tori back, which wasn't often, Tori cherished it. Jade's hugs were special. It was almost precious when Jade would wrap her arms around Tori and hold her back. Even though Tori always held on too long and Jade would start squeezing the air from her lungs to get her to let go. Tori only did that because she never knew when the next one would be, and she wanted to hold on forever.
Tori had planned to tell her parents about the detention, she really did. But they weren't there when she finally got home. So she made herself a snack and lied down on the couch to watch tv. She didn't mean to fall asleep watching an old sitcom, and she certainly didn't expect Trina and her parents to just leave her there all night. But by the time she was woken up Saturday morning by her dad making some sort of protein shake in the kitchen, it had slipped her mind. "Good morning!" Her dad shouted to be heard over the blender as Tori wandered out to stand next to him. "Sleep well?" His grin was much too chipper for so early in the morning.
Tori forced a sarcastic smile in return and pointed at the blender. "Do you have to do that so loudly?"
"Sorry, kiddo, can't hear you!" Tori rolled her eyes and leaned her hip against the counter, waiting for the noise to die down. Her dad chuckled to himself as he shut the blender off. "So, any big plans for the day?"
Tori shrugged, folding her arms across her stomach. "My friend Cat got tickets for some new play, but that's not until later." Her dad nodded, reaching up to grab a plastic cup from one of the cabinets. "Are you going into work today?"
"Yeah, we're all backed up with paperwork and the Captain wants everyone in to try and clear some of it out," he said, taking the top off the blender and filling the cup.
"Sounds exciting," Tori stated, taking the blender from him and putting it in the sink.
"Being a cop is thrilling stuff," he said with a chuckle. "Do you need money for that play thing?" He asked, bringing the cup to his mouth to take a sip.
"Maybe a couple bucks if we go for food or something after?" Tori said hopefully. Her dad nodded and put his cup down. "Oh, and maybe some money to chip in for gas. I think Andre is picking everyone up." Her dad narrowed his eyes as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "And maybe, if we-"
"Tell ya what," he said, opening his wallet and holding it out. "How about you just take whatever you want and try to get Trina out of the house at some point, okay?"
Tori grinned and pulled a few bills out of his wallet. "Thanks, dad."
"Yeah yeah," he said as she hugged him quickly. "Now get outta here, you're wrinkling my shirt."
Tori laughed and practically skipped off upstairs to her room. She tossed the money on her bedside table and picked up her phone. She'd gotten a text the night before from Cat, making sure she was still going to the play, and one from Andre making sure she had survived detention. She glanced at the time, seeing that it wasn't too early, and sent off replies to both. She put her phone back down and headed over to her dresser. She figured she might as well take a shower before Trina woke up and used all the hot water. So, with a handful of clothes, she headed off to the bathroom.
She took longer than she expected, most of her time in the shower spent trying to scrub the ink from her arm. She actually managed to get most of it off. There was only a hint of it left, like a shadow that wouldn't go away no matter how she moved her arm. That was good enough for her, considering she'd been marked for two days. It would fade or get washed off completely soon enough. Tori cocked her head to the side. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, which was weird. She'd… not liked it, exactly, but… well, maybe she had liked it a little bit. This little reminder on her arm that Jade was there. Back in her life, in whatever capacity it was. Friends? Almost-friends? People who hung out with the same people? Tori didn't know, exactly, but it didn't matter. Because every day that went by, Tori knew she was one step closer to her goal, whatever that goal had morphed into and become. Bits of the Jade that Tori knew were showing. That, she thought proudly as she headed back to her room, was progress. And you didn't stop what you were doing if you were making progress.
The morning passed by pretty lazily. The hands on her clock were just strolling around the little face they were stuck to. Tori read for a bit, checked her email and chatted with Cat online, convinced Trina to go for lunch with the two of them. All in all, it wasn't a bad way to spend a Saturday morning. Although she had to try and rush Trina into getting ready when she realized they were supposed to be meeting Cat in fifteen minutes at a place that was almost thirty away. She sent Cat an apology, saying they would be late while Trina found the perfect outfit to wear. Cat wasn't bothered, replying with a simple 'kay kay'. Tori got Trina out the door, earning a grateful smile from her mom on the way out. Trina refused to show up looking like 'some cheap Northridge girl' and insisted on doing her make up while driving. Tori thought she was going to die, but they made it to the restaurant in one piece. Cat was sitting at a table outside by herself, drinking a giant milkshake through a long straw. She waved as they walked up and joined her. Tori asked if she was excited about the play and Cat couldn't sit still while she talked about it. "Wait, what play?" Trina had interrupted, her mouth full of cheeseburger.
That set Cat off on a ramble about the play, and Tori laughed at Trina's face, her eyes following Cat's lips like if she stared hard enough the words coming from them would slow down and she could understand them. It didn't happen and Trina actually looked dizzy when Cat finished talking. Tori just patted her on the back and Cat smiled, bouncing slightly in her seat. Tori got a text from Andre asking what she was up to. "Oh, invite him! We can all get ice cream!" Cat had squealed, clamping her own hands over her mouth in excitement.
Trina huffed, pushing her empty plate away from her. "I'm bored, Tori."
Tori sent her response to Andre and looked at her sister. "You don't want ice cream?"
"I'm full."
"Not even if it's chocolate with hot fudge and whipped cream and a cherry on top?"
"Oh, that sounds so good! Can I have some?"
"Cat, you're the one who suggested ice cream," Tori said with a smile.
"Oh, right."
"I'm bored. I wanna go shopping." Trina grabbed her purse and stood up.
"Trina!" Tori couldn't believe her sister sometimes. She shoved her phone back into the pocket of her jeans and watched her sister inch away from the table.
"What? Andre's coming, he has a car, you'll be fine," Trina said dismissively, giving Cat a small wave before turning and leaving.
Tori gaped as her sister strolled off down the sidewalk. "She didn't even leave money for her burger." She turned back to Cat, who shrugged and leaned forward, capturing her straw in her mouth. Tori shook her head and picked at the remnants of her own lunch as Cat's phone rang. She picked it up off the table, tilting her head as she looked at the screen.
"It's Jade," Cat said, tapping away at the screen.
"Oh?" Tori noticed, very much so, how her heartbeat picked up a little. "What'd she say?"
"She wants to know what time the play is. She's driving herself," Cat said, typing a bit more before putting her phone down. "I guess she doesn't want to be in the car with Beck."
"Yeah, I saw on the Slap that they broke up. Do you know what happened?"
Cat's head pulled back a little, a small crease appearing between her eyebrows. "She didn't really say. Just that they had a big fight, but it didn't matter anyway because they've been having trouble lately."
"I kinda noticed that," Tori sighed. "Is she upset about it?"
Cat shook her head slowly. "Not really. But, she's Jade, so she might be?" Cat offered with a shrug.
"That's a very definitive answer, Cat," Tori said with a chuckle. Cat giggled and shrugged again and Tori shook her head with a smile.
Andre arrived not too much later. He said that he had already been on the way to Tori's house when she told him to come here, so he just changed direction. "That's a little creepy, dude," Tori laughed. "You were just gonna, like, show up at my house uninvited?"
"Listen, I had to help my grandma sew labels into her underwear this morning. Do you know what that does to a man? I needed to get out of there, Tori." Andre actually shuddered and Tori almost felt bad for him. She patted his arm sympathetically as the waiter came up to their table. Cat and Tori ordered ice cream, and Andre got some real food. They talked for a bit about Jade and Beck, Andre actually seeming surprised that this time the break up seemed real. Apparently Beck had told him almost exactly what Jade had told Cat. Andre shrugged, saying that it was their business and they could keep the details to themselves if they wanted. Tori couldn't help the twinge of annoyance that ran through her. She seemed to be the only one who wanted to know why and everyone else was just concerned that the whole group dynamic wasn't thrown off too much because of it.
They talked and ate, Cat bouncing continuously as she shoveled ice cream into her mouth. The sugar rush seemed to amplify her bubbly personality and she would giggle at any and every little thing Tori or Andre said. Andre pointed an accusing finger in Tori's face with a grumbled "This is all your fault." Tori just nodded her head and Cat got blurry around the edges from vibrating with so much energy. Once they'd finished and paid, Tori having to cover Trina's part of the bill, they decided to walk around some of the shops nearby for a bit. But Cat just sort of ran up and down the sidewalk pointing at random store fronts while Andre gestured for Tori to collect their friend with a reiterated "This is your fault."
"I'm so excited about the play. I'm so glad you guys are coming. It's gonna be awesome, I can't wait!" Cat barely breathed as words poured out of her. Tori and Andre had managed to wrangle her into the back of his car. It took some effort, and Cat decided to turn it into a game at one point, but they had gotten her buckled up and bouncing in her seat as they drove to pick up first Robbie and then Beck. "You really shouldn't let her eat ice cream," Andre mumbled, leaning over while Cat chattered away in the back. Tori nodded, a small groan escaping from her. "I get that now."
Tori sent Robbie a text when they were turning down his street, but he was already waiting on the sidewalk in front of his house when they pulled up. "Where's Rex?" Andre asked as Robbie climbed in next to Cat.
"He didn't want to come," Robbie sighed as he buckled up. Tori shot him a sympathetic look. He seemed a little lost without his puppet.
"I like your jacket," Cat said, her eyes wide as her fingers toyed with the fabric of his sleeve.
"Thanks," Robbie said, seeming to cheer up. "My grandmother bought it for me." Cat giggled and turned to look out the window as they drove away.
Tori started getting anxious. She wasn't sure why. They had picked up Beck and then headed off towards the theater. They were actually making pretty good time, considering it was Saturday and the weather was nice and the streets were bustling with early evening traffic. But they were going at a pretty steady pace. It wasn't nearly fast enough for Tori, though, and she couldn't figure out why. Cat had started up a game, like she usually did, and Tori half listened as everyone talked around her. Some sort of argument broke out in the back seat and Andre seized the distraction. "You alright?" he asked, glancing at Tori before looking back to the road.
"Yeah, why?" She sounded a bit offended, her head snapping to the side to look at him.
"You seem a little tense," Andre pointed out in a tone of voice that said Tori had just proven him right. "You nervous about something?"
"No," Tori denied all too quickly.
"Mmhmm. Sure." Andre shot her a disbelieving look and straightened up in his seat.
"You guys!" Cat shouted from the back seat. "Which is better: bananas or strawberries?"
"Both of 'em together," Andre answered. And just like that, he was back to normal, leaving a slightly confused Tori to slouch in her seat.
Jade was already waiting outside the theater when they all walked over from where they had parked. Cat bounded down the sidewalk in front of the others and threw herself on top of Jade, causing the taller girl to stumble backwards. Jade lifted her arms in the air as Cat wrapped her up in a hug. "Who gave Cat sugar?" Jade demanded, trying to pry the tiny redhead off of her. Tori shyly raised a hand. "Nice one, Vega," Jade spat. Cat squeaked as Jade manhandled her away towards the ticket booth, the others following close behind.
Cat picked up the tickets, bouncing with excitement. "You guys are the best. I'm so excited." She sort of sandwiched herself between Andre and Beck, leaving Robbie looking a little crestfallen beside Andre as they headed into the lobby. Tori wasn't sure if she had gravitated towards Jade, or the other way around, but she wasn't really complaining as they fell into step a few paces behind the group. Tori couldn't help but notice how Jade's fingers curled around the cuff of her leather jacket, like she needed something to hold on to. Or how the jacket curved perfectly over Jade's shoulders, the seams resting like they were stitched specifically for her. Or how the bright blue streaks tucked away in her hair only served to highlight the color of Jade's eyes and oh my god, Tori thought as she quickly looked away. "See somethin' you like, Vega?" Jade's voice was like a current, creeping up Tori's legs and inching up her spine, pulling Tori's eyes toward Jade's lips, curled in a smirk, where it had originated.
"I like your jacket," Tori said, pointing for emphasis. The group stopped outside the theater doors while an usher checked the tickets in Cat's hands. Jade's eyebrow arched high and Tori swallowed. The usher opened the door and gestured them all inside. Jade gave Tori one last look, the hint of a wink ghosting across her face, and then Tori was tripping over her own feet as she tried to remember how to walk.
They went up a staircase, and then down a small hall, and then through another door where another usher checked their tickets and showed them all to their seats. Tori had fallen behind the group and was the last one to slip into the aisle. Of course Jade was right in front of her, which meant that when Tori sat down, of course her left arm would brush against Jade's right. And of course Tori's skin chose that moment to catch fire. Tori felt like the ink had been some sort of magic beacon. Because she couldn't stop her arm from laying on the armrest, and she definitely couldn't help the way it slowly crept across the wood, closer and closer to the girl sending out the homing signal. It was like Tori had no control. And when Jade shifted in her seat and took off her jacket, revealing just how low cut her shirt actually was, Tori couldn't make her eyes look away.
It wasn't until the lights went dark that Tori was able to look away. And that was only because Jade's pale skin glowed eerily in the faint light from the stage, and Tori thought she was terrifying. Beautiful, but terrifying. And then Jade adjusted her body and Tori became acutely aware that they were sharing the armrest. Skin to skin. And the fire turned into an electric burn that Tori couldn't pull away from. Until Jade actually knocked her arm off with a harsh nudge of her elbow. "Jade!" Tori hissed, only to be shushed immediately by Cat. Tori glared at Jade, who looked thoroughly pleased as she lounged, her elbows propped up on both armrests and her hands folded comfortably across her stomach. Tori frowned and turned her attention to the stage as several lights turned on.
Tori never intentionally cuddled up to Jade. It was just something that always happened when she slept. They would zip their sleeping bags together to make one giant one, and of course Tori kind of scooted around in her sleep until she ended up with her face pressed against Jade's shoulder. The tent that they camped out in really was small, and although they were just little kids, they still took up all the room inside and Tori didn't really have a choice but to be pressed up against Jade. She never meant to do it. It just kind of happened. And either she would wake up and scoot away or turn her head and try to put space between them, or Jade would wake up first and nudge Tori until she had enough room to wiggle free. Tori liked the comfort and warmth of having Jade there. Of knowing that her best friend was right there. Of the pressure of Jade's body against her own. It was nice. It was comforting. And sometimes Tori would wake up and purposefully not move, pretending to be asleep if she felt the nudge in her side that meant Jade had woken up and wanted space. Because Tori didn't want space. She wanted Jade.
The play actually had been pretty good. Cat seemed ecstatic once it was over, thanking everyone again for coming with her. She was met with thanks in return for getting the tickets and convincing them all to go. It wasn't that late yet, just a little after nine, and Tori asked if anyone wanted to get something to eat. There was a chorus of indecision and shrugs that turned into agreement and nods when Tori said, "My treat?" She grinned as they all headed off down the street. "You guys are too easy."
"Hey, if bein' easy gets me free pizza, then I don't have a problem with it!" Andre declared, causing Tori to laugh. He threw his arm around her and they slowed their pace, falling behind the rest of the group. "So, Tori, what's up?"
Tori tried to shrug, the movement hindered by his strong arm draped around her shoulders. "Nothing. What's up with you?"
"Don't give me that," Andre said seriously, dropping his arm and sticking his hands in his pockets. Tori frowned at him. "Look," Andre said, his shoulders rising slightly, "I know we haven't been friends for long, but we're pretty tight, yeah?"
"Yeah," Tori agreed slowly, dragging the word out.
Andre sighed and drew to a stop. "So, it's obvious something's buggin' you. You've been wonky all week, getting' this look in your eyes like," Andre turned his gaze away, his eyes sort of glazing over in demonstration. He snapped his attention back to Tori. "And if you don't wanna talk about it, I get that, but I'm here for ya if you do. Okay?"
"Okay," Tori said through a nervous chuckle. "I appreciate that, Andre, but there's really nothi-"
"Guys!" Their attention was stolen by Beck, walking backwards down the sidewalk with his arms in the air. "We found pizza! Hurry up!"
Tori looked back to Andre, who gave a small shrug. "Just, keep it in mind, alright? Any time, any place about anything… my ears are yours." Tori smiled sincerely at that. Andre really was a sweet guy. And then she took it back because he threw an arm out, capturing her head, and roughly ruffled her hair. "C'mon, girl, you've got starving friends to feed!"
Tori laughed as he let her go and started jogging down the sidewalk to where Beck was waiting for them. "Andre!" Tori yelled, chasing after him. "You messed up my hair!"
Ordering pizza for six different people with six different tastes proved a lot more difficult than Tori had anticipated. Their waiter looked completely lost as they argued amongst themselves, trying to figure out what everyone wanted. Eventually Beck shushed everyone at the table and turned to the waiter. "Two pizzas. Ham and pineapple on one, but only pineapple on half. On the other half, ham and green peppers, but the green peppers and pineapple absolutely cannot touch," the waiter was frantically scribbling on his pad while Beck continued, "On the second one, pepperoni and onion on one quarter, pepperoni and extra cheese on another quarter, and extra cheese and mushrooms on the other half, but no onions on the half with mushrooms. Got that?" The waiter repeated it and with a nod from Beck hurried off to the kitchen.
"Man, we are gonna have to leave him a really good tip," Tori chuckled.
"It's a good thing Rex didn't come," Robbie said, "He would've needed an entire pizza for himself."
Tori raised an eyebrow. "Rex eats pizza?"
"It's just about all he eats," Robbie responded. "Well, pizza and cookies. And he never puts on any weight!"
"Imagine that," Tori said, catching Andre's eye. They tried to stifle laughter as Beck struck up a conversation with Robbie. They were seated at a table in the back of the pizzeria. Tori was sitting between Beck and Cat, Jade was across from Cat, Andre was across from Tori, and Robbie was across from Beck, leaning across the table as they conversed. Andre joined in after Beck mentioned something about music. Tori turned to look at Cat when she asked Jade a question about the play and Jade started ranting about her opinion of it. Jade was turned sideways in her chair, one arm draped over the back of it and she was leaning against the wall. The red lights hanging above the table lit up her face in a strange way. It turned the streaks in her hair an almost purple color, and her skin seemed to glow.
Tori jumped in her seat when she felt someone kick her foot. She looked across the table at Andre, who was talking intently with Robbie. She turned to Beck, who caught her eye and gave her a small, slightly confused smile. Then she turned to Cat, whose head was tilted to the side trying to understand what Jade was saying. There was another kick and Tori's eyes shot from person to person, trying to see if anyone was trying to get her attention, but everyone seemed involved in their own conversations. She could just lean back and glance under the table, but that might be draw attention. Her brow furrowed as something knocked her foot again. But it wasn't a kick so much as a tap. And just as Tori turned her head and opened her mouth to ask who kept kicking her, Jade's eyes flickered away from Cat to her. Just for a moment, and then they were focused on Cat again, but it was enough that Tori knew. She didn't know why, because Jade obviously wasn't trying to talk to her. Beck asked her a question, and she turned to him with a 'huh?' He chuckled and repeated himself and Tori got wrapped up in whatever weird argument the boys were having. But her attention was divided, because Jade's foot kept tapping her own, and Tori started tapping hers back. At first it was out of annoyance, as a way of saying "How do you like it?" But then it wasn't taps so much as just touches. Little touches that Tori barely felt, but then lingering ones. And then Jade's boot against Tori's ankle under the table while neither of them paid any attention to the other.
Tori didn't know why she went along with it. Because she realized, when the waiter brought out their pizzas and Jade and Tori both sat up a little straighter, returned their feet to their own personal spaces, that she had just been playing footsie with Jade. And that was weird. Although it didn't feel weird, which kind of just made it even weirder. And suddenly, when Andre was holding out a slice of ham and pineapple for her to take, she had the urge to pull him away from the table and tell him everything. He just tilted his head at the strange look on her face and she gave a small shake of her head, trying to clear her mind. Maybe she needed to stop being so patient with Jade. Maybe she just needed to finally confront her and find out what had been going on in Jade's mind over the past few weeks. Maybe she needed keep her foot from inching across the floor under the table like it was trying to do. Tori jerked her leg back a bit too hard and her knee collided with the underside of the table.
Everything on the table sort of hopped. Nothing spilled, even though a bit of water sloshed over the top of Jade's glass. "Jesus, Vega!" Jade barked, reaching out to steady her glass. "You're such a spaz!"
"What happened?" Cat's fingers carefully touched her own glass, the soda still rippling inside.
"I hit my knee on the table," Tori mumbled as a blush crept up her cheeks.
"You need to relax," Andre said with a small shake of his head.
"Seriously," Beck and Robbie both added.
"What's got you so wound up lately, Vega? First detention and now you're abusing the furniture." There was a hint of amusement in Jade's voice and Tori just kind of stared at her.
"I dunno, Jade, do I seem a bit wound up?"
"Yes." Five voices answered at once.
"So… who's paying for all this pizza?" Tori asked in false confusion, tilting her head to the side.
"No, you're not wound up."
"Not at all."
"You seem totally chill."
"You? Wound up? No!"
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Tori grumbled, poking at the crust that was left on her plate.
The conversations picked back up soon after that, and so did Tori's mood. Once the attention was off her and focused on other things, like school and Sikowitz and a group discussion about the play, Tori had actually relaxed. And she almost forgot about what Jade had been doing under the table. Almost. But after they'd paid, both pizzas being completely devoured, and were walking back down the street, Tori found herself side by side with Jade again. "So, what was that?" Tori asked quietly, although she didn't need to worry about being overheard because Robbie was on Andre's back and Cat was on Beck's and they were racing down the sidewalk.
"What was what, Vega? I'm not a fucking mind reader."
"That thing under the table? With the feet?"
"You mean when I was kicking you?" Jade turned a pointed glance on Tori.
"That," Tori said slowly, "was not kicking."
"I kicked you and you tried to play footsie and then I kicked you to make you stop. Doesn't mean anything." There was a scream of surprise and then lots of laughing as Beck and Cat tried to prevent Andre and Robbie from beating them.
"Jade," Tori said softly. She wrapped her fingers around Jade's wrist and pulled her to a stop. Jade yanked her arm away, staring at Tori's hand. "Jade, what's going on?"
"Nothing, Vega."
"Jade."
"What!" Jade took a step forward. It wasn't just a step. It was Jade claiming space, trying to intimidate Tori. And Tori knew that.
She tried to hold her ground, though, even with Jade's eyes shining dangerously. "How long can you keep pretending?"
"I was kinda planning on forever," Jade said sharply, "until you showed up."
Tori's eyebrows drew together. "What?"
A shout came from the group and Jade's head whipped to the side. "Shapiro! Touch Cat again and I'll rip your fucking arms off!" Tori was surprised. She hadn't even been aware of what the others were doing, really, but she looked and saw Robbie take a giant step away from Cat.
"That!" Tori jabbed a finger at Jade's chest. "That right there!"
"Don't touch me," Jade growled, pushing Tori's hand away.
Tori didn't back down. "You're still the same Jade deep down." Jade glared hard at her. "Deep, deep, deep, deep down. I just don't understand."
"That's not my problem." Jade turned to walk away but Tori grabbed her arm.
"Yeah it is! You're half of this, Jade, and whatever's going on I'm half of too. You owe me an explanation."
"I owe you?" Jade's eyes narrowed and her voice grew quiet. Tori was treading on dangerous ground. Jade West had become a war zone. There were landmines buried everywhere and Tori didn't have a map. She had two options. She could stop where she was, turn around and leave. Or she could carry forward, blindly hoping that each time her foot touched the ground she wasn't blown to pieces.
Tori Vega was patient. She could take her time about it, but she was definitely going to cross that minefield. Forget everything she had said about waiting until Jade was ready, because Tori knew that Jade was never going to be ready. "Yes. You owe me. The moon and the Earth and infinity and paper planes and fireflies, Jade. You owe me all of that." Jade's breathing was heavy. Her eyes were hard and unreadable and Tori had that fleeting feeling again like Jade might actually hit her. But Tori's hands were balled into fists. She had taken the first step. And if she was about to be destroyed she wanted to go down with a fight.
"One question, Vega. That's it. And then you fucking drop this, got it?"
She was safe. Nothing had exploded. Shrapnel wasn't raining down and all her limbs were intact. She breathed a sigh of relief and almost laughed before seeing that Jade still looked like she might punch her. So Tori just nodded. "One question."
"And then you drop it."
"And then I drop it," Tori agreed. Jade eased off slightly. She still looked dangerous, but Tori didn't feel threatened. She had found a safe patch of ground. She could wait there until she had to move again.
"Yo, you guys alright?" Andre called.
Jade turned on her heel and walked to rejoin the group, Tori stumbling after her. "I'm driving her home. We have to finish up a stupid paper for class."
Everyone gave them weird looks once they reached Jade's car and said their goodbyes. Andre pulled Tori to the side and said, once again, "Any time, any place, okay? No matter what." Tori thanked him and gave him a hug. "And text me when you get home so I know Jade didn't kill you." Tori laughed and said she would. Cat gave her a big hug and smile and thanked her for buying them all pizza. "Thanks for taking me to the play," Tori responded as they broke apart. Cat gave Jade a small wave and Tori gave Beck and Robbie quick hugs. Jade had already gotten into her car and started it, staring through the windshield while her fingers drummed impatiently on top of the dashboard.
Tori climbed into the passenger's seat, watching her friends walk away in the side mirror. She pulled her seatbelt on and Jade tore off down the street. Jade didn't say anything, didn't even try and initiate a conversation. Tori didn't really expect her to. But, she had no idea what to ask. She had about a million questions and she would only get one answered. So most of the ride was actually spent thinking of what to ask. What the most pressing thing was that she wanted to know. Finally Tori realized she didn't have much time left until they'd be at her house, and so she settled on one. "Why did you ignore me? Why'd you pretend, are still pretending, that we don't know each other?"
"Learn to count, Vega, that's two."
Tori rolled her eyes. "Why did you act like we don't know each other?"
Jade was silent. She switched hands on the steering wheel, lifting her right one to adjust the rearview mirror. She shifted in her seat. She gave no sign, whatsoever, that she had heard Tori. After several awkward minutes Tori sighed. "Jade-"
"I didn't want to think about it," Jade blurted. Tori turned surprised eyes to the left, and Jade seemed just as shocked at her words as Tori was. Jade was visibly uncomfortable and Tori felt a little guilty for putting her in that position. Jade's knuckles had gone white on the steering wheel and she kept her eyes focused straight ahead, never once looking at Tori. "I saw you and I remembered everything and I didn't want to think about it. Because that was a really shitty time in my life. And I couldn't look at you without seeing my parents fighting. I still can't."
There was an unspoken 'but' there. Tori could feel it. She watched as the muscles in Jade's jaw twitched, her throat working to force sound out. Tori watched as the words moved up, and into Jade's mouth. But then there was nothing. They got stuck on the tip of her tongue, trapped behind her teeth. And then, very forcefully, Jade swallowed them down. She swallowed a couple more times, like she was making sure that she couldn't even taste the shadows of the words anymore. And Tori had no idea what to say. She had an instinct to reach out and touch Jade's arm. To take her hand or comfort her in some way. Tori's fingers twitched with the need to do something. But she couldn't. Because that's how the nine year old Tori would've reacted. And the nine year old Jade would have accepted it. But they weren't nine anymore.
It was only a couple of minutes until they were parked outside Tori's house. Jade still hadn't looked at her. Tori couldn't stop looking at Jade. She still had no idea what to say, and the tension in the air was physically weighing her down. So she gave a curt nod of her head and unbuckled. She opened her door and stepped out of the car. And just as she was about to shut the door, a hand flew out to stop it. Jade was leaning across the front seat, her arm stretched out and her palm resting where Tori had just been sitting. Tori leaned down slightly so she could fully see Jade. "I didn't- it wasn't-" Jade stopped, took a moment, and then slowly raised her eyes. "It was a shitty time, because of them. Not because of you. You were the only thing that wasn't bad back then."
Tori nodded and Jade pulled her arm away as she sat up. Tori closed the door gently and stepped back from the car. She stood there, in the street, arms folded across her stomach, and watched as Jade drove off. A mine had been deactivated. Jade had voluntarily removed it and let Tori take another step forward.
A/N In case you didn't notice, the flashbacks/childhood memories have been decreasing in number. That's because there won't be any more. Everything that needed to be established with them has been.
Also, this is a long chapter. Almost twenty pages long. Congrats if you made it through the whole thing, I hope it was worth your time =) Next chapter: a giant chunk of Catorade with a smooth Jori center. …that sounded inappropriate, and I ain't even gonna apologize. I will apologize for not replying to reviews, though. It's been a crazy week and I figured I'd just write you an update as a thank you instead.
You all know the drill. Leave a review. If you don't, you'll get Five Fingaz to the Face. Or Jade and her shovel. Whichever you'd prefer. (On a completely related note, I'm so excited that we finally got to hear the whole song that Cat and Trina sang ages ago. And the 'dirty' next line.)