"...Why am I doing this."
Luigi said to himself as he got to a starting line, with his Poltergust still on his back. He was at a SEVERE disadvantage against probably a very fast crow tengu.
Well, he wouldn't be able to climb the mountain any further if he declined. And he needed to go up the mountain to see where the Human Village was.
Come to think of it, the past was starting to make much more sense.
He's been Isekai'd into another world and is now racing against a girl with human features but calls herself a tengu and has crow wings-
Ah screw it, it does NOT make sense!
He looked at the spectator's seats - quite a few people showed up. Luigi didn't recognise most of them except for two.
"...Alice and Yukari?! Oh you gotta be kidding me!"
Alice softly smiled and waved while Yukari was bringing a bigger wave with a wider grin.
Luigi smiled at Alice but cut a death stare to Yukari.
Next to Yukari were Chen and Ran.
"Master, why are we here?" Ran questioned.
"Watching this human struggle to beat the fastest thing alive would be fun!" Yukari stated.
Ran then muttered. "At least we're not spectating in a bush..."
Aya smirked and looked at Luigi. "So, are you ready?"
Luigi looked like a serial murderer with his distressed eyes. "Do I look like I'm ready?!" He screamed out - in a whisper. He was about to talk to more people... when he heard his Wii Boo gamepad going off.
Luigi answered it. "Yello?"
In came Professor E. Gadd, whom Luigi hadn't seen in a bit. "Hey, Luigi! Looks like you're about to race! Sorry I can't see it in live action." E. Gadd's surroundings was that oh-so-familiar lab.
"I don't stand a chance!" Luigi admitted the truth.
"I know, I know." E. Gadd assured him. "And that's why you, the smart person you are, Luigi..."
"Yeah?" He eyed the gamepad curiously.
"...are going to have to cheat." E. Gadd smiled evilly.
Luigi felt like he could lose his breath.
"Don't worry! You aren't gonna fling her into a tree and knock her out! It won't be that brutal! Although we may have to resort to that..."
"So what's your plan?" Luigi seemed nervous.
"You got the mighty Poltergust G-00! Bet that Suction Shot can help slow Aya down. Also, the Strobulb! It could stun her, allowing you to get into the lead! And-"
"Okay... okay... Cheat to win!" Luigi interrupted. "Thanks..."
"Luigi, one more thing I wanna point out." E. Gadd stated.
"Huh?" Luigi was about to turn off the gamepad but kept his finger away from the end call button. "Yes?"
"When have you last slept?"
Luigi looked at his reflection on the light of the gamepad. Black circles under his eyes.
"...I haven't had a peaceful sleep since arriving in Gensokyo..." Luigi admitted.
"I don't care how energised you may be after this race - " E. Gadd began. "But PLEASE get some sleep tonight."
"Fine, fine... I'll look where the Human Village is... then I go back to Alice's house, and then I sleep there... and then I go back."
"Sounds like a plan. Alright, good luck."
"Ciao." Luigi put the gamepad away.
Luigi turned to face Aya, who was still in a bold pose. "So, are you ready to race, human?"
"No." He flat-out admitted it.
"Well, tough luck! No point in wimping out now! We've already got a live audience! Don't want to look like a coward in front of them, do you?" She teased.
Luigi groaned, rolled his eyes and finally made his way to the starting line.
A girl with brown hair and GMod-style error texture clothing came up. "I don't know why they made me the ref, but ON YOUR MARKS..."
Luigi gulped. Here goes. Speed. He. Is. Speed. Focus. He... can't really focus right now. The sun was up and he was sweating more than a gamer does on Geometry Dash.
"GET SET..."
Aya brimmed with confidence. There was no way a human could win against her! She almost felt a little bad. Almost.
Luigi nearly hyperventilated already. It's fine... just... massively cheat. That's all.
"GO!"
The startup was kind of a blur for Luigi. He heard muffled crowd cheering, his own footsteps, teary eyes, and the loudest sound was his own heartbeat. Luigi looked around his surroundings as he entered a mini-forest. His Last Resort adventure was in October, so the leaves were turning orange and falling at the same time. It was truly marvellous. Luigi could almost stop to admire the breathtaking scenery.
Aya wasn't even trying half her power. She was folding her arms, flying about the forest, taking in the scenery. "I could take a picture of you being defeated in this forest! The scenery would at least look nice!"
Luigi grumbled, rolled his eyes and smirked. "Oi, Aya!" Luigi shouted while running and aiming his Poltergust.
"Yeees? Gonna admit defeat this early on?" Aya boomed. "If you think I'm stupid enough to bonk my head against a tree, you're dead wrong!"
"Catch!" Luigi fired a plunger and it stuck right to her face.
Muffled screams of Aya were heard as Luigi dragged the plunger along and slammed her into the tree. And that was enough to knock her out. Luigi quickly ran past many forest critters. Most of which was using Gooigi as bait and using the Blow function on the Poltergust.
Aya caught up to Luigi just minutes later. "Do you mind, good sir?! You wanna be known as a CHEAT?!"
Luigi then proceeded to stun Aya in the eyes with his Strobulb. "I just wanna continue!" He ran forward while Aya was stunned.
Moments later, Luigi felt like his sweat could be VOMITED. He spat out as he kept running, his spit mixing in with sweat and it was flat out disgusting. Let's hope Alice had a shower.
There.
right there. That was the goal. The audience was roaring with confusion and excitement. Luigi being in first?! Impossible!
But Luigi gave himself one last push as he crawled on the ground and touched his hand on the finish line. Right as Aya turned the last corner and crossed the goal herself.
"I can't believe it!" The error-skirt gasped. "The human actually came in first!"
Everyone, including Yukari, was in shock.
But it didn't take long for them to start cheering.
"Luigi! Luigi! Luigi! Luigi! Luigi! Luigi! Luigi! Luigi!"
Luigi slowly opened one eye. He was still lying down on the track. He slowly got up on his feet and looked around. A pouting Aya with her arms folded and the crowd chanting and waving their arms in the air while chanting his name. Luigi hadn't felt this way in since, like, forever, actually. All the spotlight Luigi expected was directed at Mario mostly. Luigi weakly raised his fist into the air. "I did it...!"
Alice quickly ran up to Luigi. "Luigi!"
"MM!" Luigi quickly got into a defensive karate stance upon being suddenly approached but quickly eased up due to realising it was Alice.
Alice continued. "You did it! I don't know how you did it, but you actually did it!"
"I get to climb further up the mountain, I guess!" Luigi chuckled, rubbing a hand at the back of his head sheepishly.
Aya grumbled. "You were so lucky... this time." She flew off, huffing.
Luigi gulped. And chuckled. "I'm in danger."
It was now mid-day. Luigi watched everyone leave and go home.
He waved one last time to Alice. It had been approximately 2 hours since Aya took her sulk flight. Luigi was nervous. He looked at the spectator's seat. Yukari wasn't there.
Luigi grumbled and continued his way upwards.
He was actually in view of the shrine. Perfect. Luigi pulled out his Wii Boo and called Alice.
"Hey, Luigi. Alice here."
"Yeah, I can see that." Luigi replied.
"You're almost there, I think. Is that what you called me for?"
"Yeah, I see some sorta shrine I think."
"Yeah, you're almost there. Hang tight."
"Ciao." Luigi put his gamepad away.
Luigi made it onto a wide open platform. He assumed it was just for people to get their bearings before climbing one last flight of stairs.
"I knew you'd be here." Luigi recognised that voice.
He turned around, to meet with a familiar crow tengu. "If it isn't the green cheater! All the way up here because you couldn't handle being in a fair fight?"
"It was HEAVILY stacked!" Luigi shouted.
"So if you can't win against a race..." Aya landed and braced herself. "Then FIGHT me, coward!"
Luigi gawked. Another boss fight? If he fell off even once, it would be all the way back to the bottom...
Aya laughed and took flight again. Purple barriers surrounded the giant platform, preventing exit.
"The classic barriers are back..." Luigi muttered.
Aya flew to one side, scaring Luigi a bit. She fired a bunch of feathers. Luigi only raised an eyebrow, but then after being touched by a feather... yeah, it hurt as hell, just like danmaku. Luigi quickly took this as a lesson to quickly dodge between the feathers.
Aya flew to another side, using wind powers between movement to drop some boulders and rocks from the mountains to roll onto Luigi.
Luigi got frightened when a boulder landed on the ground. "Waaah!" He quickly contained his composure and used his Poltergust to hold a boulder.
When Aya flew to another side, Luigi pelted her in the face with a boulder. "BWAAAH-" Aya screamed and spat out a few rocks. "So you're playin' dirty, even for a fight..."
Aya's new attack was her swooping to ground level just outside the arena. She charged at Luigi. The latter, thankfully, remembered how to Burst so he jumped over Aya. Luigi vacuumed up another boulder and yeeted it at Aya while she was rising up again.
"You're peltin' me all over! Not fair!"
"You're the one firing FEATHERS at me!"
Aya tossed more feathers. Luigi squeezed in between more of them and vacuumed up one last boulder. He fired it at Aya.
"Grr... GRR!" Aya flew up, and using her wind manipulation powers, sent Luigi on a higher platform. The Moriya Shrine getting closer and closer.
Aya started flapping her crow wings. Luigi felt it and thought nothing of it.
..until he realised he was being pushed off.
"AAH!" Luigi kept running forward while dodging incoming bullets and feathers as well as boulders. Aya stopped. Thankfully, when there were also three convinient boulders waiting to be thrown. Luigi vacuumed up the first and whammed one into her face.
Aya flew down, firing feathers and diving towards Luigi. "Wah!" Luigi panicked and dived out, hitting his head on the stone mountain in the process. "Ouch..."
While complaining about his pain, he vacuumed another boulder and slammed her in the face with it.
Aya flew up one more time and prepared something, only to be met with a final boulder.
"Grrgh! Why are you so stubborn!" Aya waved her fists around.
"You're the one who picked a fight with me!" Luigi retorted.
Aya used her wind power to send Luigi higher up. He was now on level with the Moriya Shrine, and there was a sunset looming over Gensokyo. A beautiful scene for a final phase.
Aya flew in the background, in direct view of the sunset. She swooped down herself to charge at Luigi. Luigi finally got hit, losing a few heart points.
Luigi got his vacuum tugged on her skirt. The final blow was here. He dragged her along, intense 'ghost catching' music as Luigi was pulled all around against the struggle.
He finally got enough strength to slam her three times.
SLAM!
SLAM!
SLAM!
Aya was in her defeat animation. "Waitwaitwait-"
Luigi paused his vacuum inhaling to let Aya do her finishing animation.
She pulled out a camera and took a picture of Luigi. "You're perfect for my next scoop! Grown lanky human finally outlives crow teng-"
Luigi's Poltergust exploded her onto a nearby wall, hitting her head and knocking her out.
Luigi looked around, defeating his third boss fight.
He turned to the camera and did a few victory cheers. "Oh yeah, I did it!" He clenched his fist. He got off the platform and was now in front of the Moriya Shrine. Luigi looked at the edge of the mountain. Sure enough, Gensokyo was painted orange from the sunset. He could make out a few houses and a giant lake with... Luigi could see people from that distance? Luigi assumed... that was the Human Village.
"Huh... It's a long ways away... Time to travel the world without a virus!"
Luigi chuckled from his little joke that's impacting the real world and gripped his Poltergust to make his journey.