Luigi was just slowly coming to his senses when he was running through the Forest of Magic. Instructions unclear, all he vaguely knew was... Bowser was here, he's heading to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and Luigi has to beat him to the punch before he gets his hands on Peach or Mario. Keep in mind that Luigi was in a badly weakened and damaged state and Bowser was practically healthy again.
"Wait, why are the odds so stacked?!" Luigi ranted to himself again. He ran toward the light and tripped over something. "Gah, my leg-!" Luigi winced. He didn't want to turn to look at the injury, always the paranoid fear that it may be cut clean off. Thankfully, his leg was still attached. Regardless, he looked down to see what exactly he tripped over. And there...
was an unconscious Rumia. He hadn't seen her since, like, Arc 1. Was she still unconscious? No... Luigi leaned in close to Rumia to get a good look. Bruises all around. They seemed very recent. Bowser just absolutely knocked her down. "Wah-!" Luigi stumbled back from the unconscious body and stood on his feet. "Bowser, what have you done to the place..." Luigi slowly gathered enough momentum, sprinting out of the crime scene, but turned his head towards Rumia one last time before she disappeared out of Luigi's sights.
Using his Poltergust's 'katana' mode, he cut down some of the foilage to get some better eyesight. "Pardon the intrusion..." Luigi whispered. There, he practically let his jaw hit the grass. There, on the horizon, was a giant mansion, just in front of Misty Lake-
Wait, Misty Lake? Luigi had been there in Arc 1! How did he not notice the giant mansion right near it? He could practically slap himself in embarrassment right now. Regardless, he looked forward, and saw a path leading up a gate toward the mansion.
Well, there would be a gate if it wasn't completely knocked down off it's hinges and onto the floor, with a giant hole in the middle. And there was a girl investigating what happened to the gate. Luigi squinted his eyes to get a closer look - was a girl in a world based on Japan...
wearing a Chinese outfit?
Wait, how did Luigi know what Japan was? Luigi only ever goes to Japan when Mario is... missing. But for some reason, he felt like he visited that place... very recently... after Mario's little odyssey...
Maybe his mind was just going crazy. How long had he been in Gensokyo? Regardless, Bowser had gotten past the gate, probably beating up that Chinese girl in the process, and went into the mansion. He was ALREADY too late. "I have no time! I have to zip past that chinese girl if I want to catch up now..." Luigi turned the other way. "Do I have enough time to sprint over to Youkai Mountain and ask Nitori for an upgrade?" Luigi shook his head. "No. I need to go now." Luigi turned to sprint toward Youkai Mountain, when his Wii Boo started to ring out. Someone was calling him. Luigi was disturbed by the sudden intrusion and nearly tripped over a twig. "Jeez, I need to lower the volume on that..." He fixed his hair and pulled out the gamepad. "Yello?"
E. Gadd was on the screen. "Ah, Luigi! I completely forgot to tell you that I upgraded your Poltergust while you were... ahem..." E. Gadd held in his bursts of laughter. "...crying your eyes out to Alice."
"I'll give you a different reason to cry."
E. Gadd took a moment to process Luigi's response. "G-geez... starting the death threat for the arc a little early, are we not? ANYWAY. You. Yes, you! I will tell you the upgrade to the Poltergust right now! Unfortunately, it's a one-time use. Plot devices and all. I have access to it. Ready?"
"Speed it up."
"I'm gonna take that as a 'Im ready', so let's get started!" The Wii Boo call ended.
The Poltergust flung itself off Luigi's back and turned into a car.
...
...
...
Luigi blinked. "Huh. Isn't that the kart I drove one time? Hard to remember... But I'm not gonna question it. Time to really speed up." Luigi got onto the kart and revved it's engine. "Hohohohoho... Now we're talking! Alright! Let's go!" Luigi revved the engine and charged for the mansion.
The Chinese gatekeeper (known as Meiling) stared confusingly at the gate. "One moment I was sleeping, the next, I hear a loud bang and the gate comes crashing down..."
She heard a loud revving noise. A distant sound of a motor engine was coming toward the gate. Meiling twisted her feet and prepared to meet this stranger.
Luigi drove toward the entrance at full-speed, preparing for a full out raid! He then - slowed his kart to a stop and asked Meiling. "Hey, can you?"
"Oh yeah, sure thing." Meiling stepped aside.
Luigi kept driving through!
...
...
...
"wait a minute"
Luigi's kart got closer to the danger that is the front door of the mansion. Then, Meiling jumped and landed right in front of Luigi. The plumber practically yelped like a little girl as Meiling's punch tumbled the entire kart over, Luigi hitting his head against the tile paving multiple times, along with the added weight of the car. The brutal injuries and suffering were starting early too, it seemed. Luigi's entire body was in massive pain. If not for the Hourai Elixr, he'd probably be dead 50 times over. Luigi helplessly got out of the flipped-over car, as it reverted back to it's clean, normal vaccum state. Luigi put it onto his back ever-so-casually, and then ripped a rant to Meiling. "DO YOU MIND?! E. GADD SAID THIS WAS A ONE-TIME THING, AND YOU BOTCHED IT!"
"I-I'm sorry-" Meiling cowered. She then realised this wasn't the insufferable maid scolding her, and then stood her ground. "I mean... Sorry, but NO INTRUDERS in the mansion!"
"Aren't you questioning the gate?! And who got in the gate?!" Luigi aimed his vacuum nozzle at Meiling.
"I was asleep when I heard the loud bang. I didn't see anyone go inside."
...So... Meiling was a Gensokyo girl who slept usually? But of course, NOW was the time when she was awake to attack Luigi?
...Why was his life always on hard mode?
"Yeah, that crash kinda takes priority, doesn't it?" Luigi chuckled.
"Intruders take priority." Meiling insisted.
"oh come on..."
Meiling twisted her leg forward, kicking it in a clockwise motion, indicating a 'ready for battle' stance.
"...Jeez!" Luigi noticed. "Not only are you showing off your legwork, you're not even wearing anything to protect it! Have you no shame?!"
Meiling punched her hands together. "It doesn't matter, when I'll punt you out for good." Meiling ran toward Luigi.
"Fine!" Luigi aimed his Poltergust. "Then get ready, cuz I'm stopping Bowser!" Luigi also ran in.
Blue Toad was in the Bamboo Forest. A very important mission in his mind. A clear understanding behind the value of life itself, he had to answer the biggest mystery, ever known to grace Gensokyo's myths...
A question, bigger than if there are any important male characters than a certain shopkeep, bigger than if Yukari can ever be beaten, bigger than if PC98 is canon or not. No. This question was far bigger, far more important to answer, the mystery will be solved right here, right now. Blue Toad aimed his eyes forward, leaning his eyes into a nasty glare as he looked at his opponent.
His opponent in question was a bunny girl with long purple hair, wearing a business suit.
Reisen.
Blue Toad's opponent was Reisen. Why did Blue Toad want to go to the Bamboo Forest to meet Reisen? Ever since Red Toad shared his experience, Blue Toad went to explore the forest out of curiosity. His insatiable appetite for the truth.
"...What do those bunny ears feel like?"
Yes, that was Blue Toad's inner question. One could pinpoint the exact moment a tumbleweed could pass by.
Meanwhile, however, Reisen was baffled. "What business have you with me? I'm busy with work..."
Blue Toad put his stubby feet back a bit. Now was the time to strike. "Yellow Toad!"
A predator jumped from behind Reisen and gripped one of her ears. Of course, Yellow Toad was the predator. "Oooh, this feels GOOD!"
Reisen, however, had a wild mix of emotions. "Gah- mmmgh... n-no... This feels really good but also really humiliating! Don't! These are my ears! Don't!"
Yellow Toad rubbed the ear all around. "Oh, Blue Toad, you gotta feel this!"
Blue Toad jumped up while Reisen was weak.
Reisen desperately begged with her red face. "N-no! Don't grab both of them!"
Grip.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Her screams echoed.
A new girl walked in, witnessing the scene. "Reisen, can you not shout so loud? It damages my ever-so-sensitive ears."
The tree turned to the new voice. A small rabbit girl with black hair and a pink nightgown. That's it. Not even the decency to wear shoes, unlike Reisen.
Reisen hopelessly looked up after the Toads jumped down and released their grips, her red face looking really not appropriate. "You... Tewi... Help me from these... monsters!"
Tewi folded her arms. "Alright, alright, but you-" She was picked up by someone. Tewi does have the body of a small child after all. "Hey! Let me go!" Tewi turned to the third culprit. A white-hair girl with overalls. Mokou.
Seizing her chance to troll Kaguya's servants was Mokou's joy. "Actually, you two, these ears feel great too." Mokou showed an evil grin. The two Toads turned amongst themselves and nodded.
"Wait, wait, wait..." Tewi flailed her hands nervously.
The two Toads jumped up and...
Grip.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa-"
Meiling quickly thrusted herself forward and stuck one foot out.
Seeing this, Luigi instinctively put his Poltergust in Katana mode and deflected the foot with his blade. Meiling jumped off the blade and landed behind Luigi. She charged in again with her fist ready as Luigi frantically searched for a button. He finally found it, calling out Gooigi. "Ho ho-" Gooigi's introduction was cut short as Meiling punched right through Gooigi, dissipating him, but Meiling's punch slowed down to a halt because of that.
"Using someone as a meat shield... Impressive for you."
"Don't make me feel guilty."
Meiling jumped back and summoned a few rainbow orbs.
"Oh, come on, even a melee girl has magic?!" Luigi ranted again.
Meiling jumped up, hurtling towards Luigi at dangerous speeds. Luigi jumped back to avoid the initial impact, but the landing of Meiling caused a rainbow shockwave, causing Luigi to jump up with a Burst. In mid-air, Luigi saw the rainbow orbs flying at him like projectiles. "Oooh, mama-mia..."
Luigi dived onto his belly to avoid the first one. He put his palms onto the ground to push himself up to dodge the second. He twisted in mid-air to dodge the third and fourth. He used his Poltergust in 'blow' mode to blow away the fifth. "And that is how you d-"
A knife grazed Luigi's nose. That knife coming from the mansion. Holy hell, he was lucky he stood where he was. "What."
"Ooooh..." Meiling shivered. "That's one of Sakuya's spare knives... She's probably in combat with something right now!"
Luigi froze. Bowser. Bowser was up against magical girls from Gensokyo.
...so who's the one in more hell again? Regardless, Luigi picked up the knife. "YOU'RE the one in combat with me." Luigi tossed the knife in midair, then KICKED it in it's handle and it breezed right past Meiling. Luigi physically Pogchamped right there. "OOOOOOH that was so cool..."
Meiling looked at the knife. "Too bad it didn't hit me." She jumped up and slammed down, causing a giant rainbow shockwave, causing it to actually hit Luigi and send him flying back.
"Ow-ow-ow..." Luigi got up. "Yipes, that is one powerful slam... She seems to falter a bit after using it. I'll try to exploit that..." Luigi ran in and vacuumed up her arm.
Meiling blinked. "Eh? What are you do-WAIT, NO!"
"Sorry, but I need to HURRY." Luigi felt the sense of urgency, and picked Meiling up with his Poltergust. He slammed her down right onto her skull against the hard ground.
"Oooh... that can heal... right...?" Luigi winced. Luigi realised she was already knocked out. "...I really hope that heals. Otherwise I literally just comitted murder. But..." Luigi did his victory jig. "Oh ho! Yeah!" Luigi waited for the rewards to come in so he may reap them.
However, they did not come instantly. There was still-
SLAM!
Right. The raid on the mansion. Luigi panicked. "Waaaugh! I'm coming!" Luigi charged straight for the mansion, opening and closing the front doors.