3. A Flower's Stunning Beauty

When I came to, my body was completely numb. I tried to move my arm, but my limbs refused to listen to me. Nice going, a voice in my head taunted. You get yourself gapped by Yukari, trapped with an otaku shrine maiden, and now you blew yourself up with love-colored magic and are paralyzed.

"Please, just shut up," I said to nobody in particular. Luckily, I could still move from the neck up. I craned my head to get a better look at my surroundings. It looked like I had been moved into a modern-style house, not dissimilar to my own home. What set it apart was the large number of potted plants decorating the room. I guessed that I had been lain down on a bed to recuperate. "Hello?" I managed to croak.

"Careful. I wouldn't move if I were you. Not that you can, anyway..." The voice sounded muffled and far-off, but was definitely feminine. "I can smell the black-white's magic on you. As a warning, the last person to attempt a Master Spark landed in one of the prankster rabbit's traps. It was not pretty."

"It wasn't on purpose… Where am I…?"

"My home. It was so peaceful, really, until you dropped out of the sky and on top of me…" the voice rose in pitch.

Wait a minute… I thought. Potted plants everywhere… a field of sunflowers…

OH SHIT. I crash-landed on Yuuka Kazami. "Let's cut to the chase," I quipped. "Can you please just kill me and get it over with? I'd really rather not be tortured."

"What? Tortured…?" the woman I presumed to be Yuuka seemed taken aback. She sounded very close, but was still nowhere in sight. "…Oh, dear lord. You people and your paranoia… I'm not like that!"

"Oh. Well… sorry if I insulted you. So, not to be rude, but why can't I move?"

"Nerve agent." Yuuka's voice had an 'isnt it obvious?' sort of tone to it. "Don't worry, it can't kill you, but you will be stuck there until I give you an antidote."

"And when can I get the antidote? I kinda need to get back to Sanae, return the Hakkero to Marisa… and find a way home."

"Leave it. Marisa could do without her precious toy for a while. Might even help to mellow her out. In the meantime…" Yuka paused. "It's been a while since I last had company, and male company at that. Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

I broke into a nervous sweat. "Well, I would, but… It's kind of awkward and uncomfortable when I can't see the person I'm talking to."

"Is that so…?" I found myself lifted into a sitting position. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in the small of my back. Immediately, I felt the warmth return to my limbs, and within moments I could move again. I rolled onto the floor and shakily got to my feet. At the foot of the bed, just beyond my line of sight when I was paralyzed, sat Yuuka herself.

She looked nothing like I expected (tall and imposing, with a red-plaid vest and skirt, pink umbrella, and sharp glare). She was small, about Sanae's height, sporting a simple leaf-green gown that matched her shoulder-length hair and eyes. Off to her side was a weathered sky-blue parasol with rips and stitches in the fabric. Her face was soft and unscarred, but her deep, scarlet eyes betrayed her age and experience.

After a while, Yuuka got annoyed by my staring. "I don't suppose you have something to do other than gawk at me?"

"Er, no, of course not. I was just thinking… you look nothing like what the others describe you to be. Nothing in the canon or fanon mentions any of…" I clamped my mouth shut, but it was too late. I had already let slip a clue to my true knowledge of Gensokyo.

"Hmm… speaking of which, your clothes are pretty unusual. It's as if…" The revelation struck Yuuka like a brick. She facepalmed. "…I knew it. You're not from Gensokyo. I keep warning Yukari that nothing good will come of gapping outsiders, but does she actually listen? No!"

"What?" I was confused.

Yuuka sighed in exasperation, then proceeded to explain the situation to me. "Just a second, my memory's a little fuzzy on this topic… Every couple of years, Yukari will bring someone from the outside world and leave them in Gensokyo. Then, she'll sit back and watch as her victim causes absolute chaos wherever they go. She claims it's to give Gensokyo's major groups something to concentrate on besides each other—since if they did focus on each other and things escalated, somebody might end up dead and create a power vacuum—but if you ask me, she just does it to amuse herself. Plus, some crazy stuff manages to break the stalemate every now and then, hence the incidents."

"I can definitely see her doing that," I agreed.

"Indeed. Anyway… you said something about the Hakkero earlier?"

"About that…" I interrupted. "I lost the Hakkero on my way here. I blacked out and it must have slipped from my grasp."

"You what!?" Yuuka snapped. I froze.

"Look, I'm not a youkai. I'm a normal human being. I can't just go from ground level to sub-orbital and back, taking it all in stride. It's a miracle that the explosion itself didn't kill me."

Yuuka buried her face in the bedsheets and screamed. I gave her some time to herself to vent her fury. Finally, after a couple minutes of silence, she sat back up, disheveled but calm. "I can't believe I'm going to do this…" She muttered. Before I could ask what she was going to do, she shouted, "Yukari!"

"Ufufu…" Yukari appeared out of nowhere and flung herself over my shoulders, scaring the crap out of me. "You called?"

"I need a favor from you," Yuuka grumbled miserably. It appeared that she shared my sentiments when it came to people jumping her. "I would appreciate it if you could locate the Hakkero."

Yukari let go of me and flopped on the bed. "That's a pretty tall order. I doubt Marisa would take kindly to having her precious thing stolen."

I stared at her blankly. "Who are you trying to fool? You see everything that happens in Gensokyo."

"Alright, you got me." Yukari held her hands up in mock surrender. "I know where it is. However, bringing it to you is out of the question. That thing doesn't interact well with my gaps for some reason."

"So where is it?" Yuuka asked.

"Your trajectory placed it somewhere around the Human Village; if not for the wind blowing to the east, you would have landed in the bamboo forest. Unfortunately… someone picked it up not too long after it hit the ground."

"Who?" Yuuka and I asked in unison.

"…Sakuya Izayoi found it. She would likely have taken it to either her mistress Remilia, or the sorceress Patchouli."

"Wonderful." Yuuka moaned.

"Fuck." I agreed. We were screwed either way: if Remilia had the Hakkero, she would fight tooth and nail to hold on to it. If Patchouli had it, she would likely dismantle it, study it, and maybe even find a way to replicate it… then give it to Remilia.

"Hey, you wanted an answer, and I gave it to you." Yukari cooed. "It's not MY fault that you toyed with power beyond your understanding. Anyway, will that be all?"

"Yes, you've given me what I wanted. Now," Yuuka reached for her parasol. "I kindly recommend you leave at once, before she decides that you have overstayed your welcome."

I had no idea what Yuuka was talking about, but Yukari must have had some clue, as she threw herself off the bed and into a gap. With a sigh, Yuuka set the parasol down. "What just happened?" I asked.

She waved me away. "It's nothing. Look, you should get going. It's almost sunset, and the youkai will be all over you. Follow the red dirt path out the front door, and you should have a clear path south to the Hakurei Shrine."

"You seem kinda pissed by Yukari. Aren't you going to do something about it?"

Yuuka gave me a cross look. "I wouldn't. Last person to try that got his fic discontinued." She seemed fairly amused by that.

I grinned. "Oh yeah, I remember that. Things did not end well for him."

Hey, no breaking the fourth wall! Yukari's voice echoed through the walls. Only I get to do that.

"Leave." Yuuka replied darkly.

Alright, alright, I'm going… Yukari's voice faded away and the room became quiet once more.

"So… follow the dirt path, you said?" Yuuka nodded. I quickly thanked her and walked quietly out the front door. As I walked through the sunflower fields, my thoughts turned to Yuuka. She was a complete enigma; save for a short moment after she scared off Yukari, the flower youkai didn't seem to give off any sort of darkness or aggression. In fact, she almost seemed… normal.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Yukari materialized next to me.

"I'll give you a nickel." I flicked one of my silver coins at her. She squeaked indignantly as it struck her forehead. "It's hard to believe that woman back there is the Yuuka Kazami. She's so different from what canon and fanon describe her to be."

Yukari grinned. "Your confusion is understandable… and completely justified. That woman isn't Yuka; at least, not really. The REAL Yuka is exactly as wicked and ferocious as the fanbase believes."

"What?" I stopped in my tracks and turned to glare at the woman. Then I remembered something that "Yuuka" had said to Yukari, something about another girl threatening to attack her unwelcome visitor. "What do you mean? Does she have multiple personalities or something?"

"Of course not. In a world where the weak are fated to become food for the strong, a youkai cannot afford to be self-conflicting."

"So who was she?"

"…That was her twin, Hana."

…THE FUCK.

(Savato93's AN: I felt that the series just wouldn't be as fun without Yuuka being the sadistic bitch we know and love (to fear!). So instead, I gave her a sister. Hana is the Romanized translation for "Blossom", so it fits her as a flower youkai. Also, I found a fairly decent map of Gensokyo (much easier than coming up with a general layout by myself) that implied that Yuuka doesn't actually LIVE at the sunflower garden. According to the map, the Garden of the Sun sits at the base of Youkai Mountain, while Yuuka's home is on the opposite side of the map, near to the Hakurei Shrine. For the sake of plot, Yuuka's home is situated in the garden in this story.)

(My AN: Wow... Yuuka's fandom interpretation as USC have reached Outside World... You know what I mean by USC. No wonder Luke is so scared shitless when he thought he land-crashed into her, despite Hana's appearance doesn't match the mental image at all! Savato, you genius.)