4. A Trip to the Library

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down." I turned to face Yukari directly. "You're telling me Yuuka has a sister? Then why in God's name is there no mention of her in the fanbase?"

Yukari twirled her parasol in boredom. "Well, there are several reasons. For one, very few people know that Hana Kazami even exists. Her psychotic twin is, ironically, the more social of the two. The few times Hana's been spotted, people who didn't know better would simply identify her as Yuuka."

"You said there were other reasons…?"

"…Another reason that Yuuka's sister doesn't exist in the real world is I won't let her exist. Between you and me, I'm actually kind of protective of Hana, and the last thing I want is for her to be victimized by those sick doujin artists."

"But you've been targeted as well, have you not?" I pointed out. Utter silence. "…right. Shutting up now."

"Good boy. And for the record, those particular artists have met with very unfortunate ends. But that's not important…" Yukari's expression darkened. "Thing is… she's not quite right in the head. It's not something that can be easily described, but if she were to be exposed to the chaos of Gensokyo, the results would be… catastrophic, to say the least. Bottom line, I keep her isolated for her own sake, as well as everybody else's.

"I… I see. Well… do you have a phone? I need to contact Sanae."

"Oh, sure thing." Yukari produced an iPhone and quick-dialed Sanae. She handed it to me.

"What is it, Yukari?" Sanae sounded annoyed to be hearing from the gap youkai.

"Sanae, it's me, Luke. I'm calling from Yukari's phone."

"Oh, Luke!" Sanae cheered up instantly. "I was wondering where you went to. I was confident that Yukari would find you, so I went back to playing. I've made this incredible Forge map that I want you to try…"

"Later, I promise. I landed in the Garden of the Sun." I looked to Yukari, who shook her head. "…Yuuka found me. She must have been in a good mood, because she just kicked me out of her garden. Yukari found me after that."

"Lucky. Not very many people encounter Yuka in a 'good' mood. Where will you go now?"

"I'm heading to the SDM. Could I meet you there in an hour? And if you can, bring the metal with you. I've got some business with Patchy."

"No problem. I'll see you there." Sanae hung up.

"Let me guess," Yukari said as I returned her phone. "You want me to take you there?"

I shrugged. "Don't see why not. Besides, we're heading in essentially the same direction…" I jerked my thumb back to Yuuka's house. "…Away from there."

As if on cue, a low roar emanated from Yuuka's house. Yukari flinched. "Good point." She spawned a gap next to her. I caught a faint glimpse of a brick wall on the other side. "Hop in."

I gladly obliged and walked through the portal. Yukari followed after me, sealing the gap behind us.

XXXXX

"Who trespassed in my territory!?" Yuuka Kazami roared. She had just woken up when she smelled the foul magic of that gap bitch in her home, and immediately gone into rage mode.

Hana pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing in exasperation. "They're gone, I took care of it. There's no need to go on a killing spree."

"I beg to differ." There was a malevolent glint in Yuuka's eyes. "It's bad enough that she waltzed in our home with no invitation, but she had the NERVE to bring a human boy with her?"

Hana backhanded her sister. "Calm down. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I'm the one that brought the boy in. Yukari just appeared to pick him up and take him out of the Garden."

"Is that so?" Yuuka was still fuming, but relaxed somewhat. She sat down, massaging her jaw. "Another outsider, I presume? They're the only ones who would have the gall to come to my Garden."

"Yes. He's got skill, but his luck leaves much to be desired. He accidentally blew himself up handling the Hakkero and landed here."

"Huh. I thought I caught a whiff of the black-white's magic."

"Indeed. So can you please just stop with the death threats? I swear, if someone looked up 'disproportionate retribution' in the dictionary, they'd see your picture."

"You're too soft, you know that?" Yuuka chided. "It's a wonder that you've survived for so long, being such a pussy."

"We represent the two faces of nature, remember? I stand for the peace and beauty of the wild, while you… well, you know. And you can't harm one without inciting the fury of the other."

"Whatever you say," Yuuka grumbled. She wondered why she ever put up with her pussy of a sister. She was contemplating just kicking her out; one good Master Spark and—

"I can Master Spark too, you know." Hana interrupted her thoughts, which Yuuka had no doubt she was reading. "So get over it. You're stuck with me."

"Whatever. I'm going out for a walk." Yuuka walked through the front door, slamming it shut behind her. However, Hana knew her twin far too well to be fooled by such a meager excuse.

…She would have to shadow her, make sure she didn't get into any trouble. Yukari would be furious that she sneaked out of the garden without permission, but she could deal with that when she got around to it.

XXXXX

"I'm sorry, but for the last time, no. Although Mistress Remilia is awake right now, she is not taking visitors at this time."

I facepalmed. "Why not?"

"She's in the middle of a… meal. It'd be very unwise to disturb the mistress while she's feeding."

"You're taking this crap a little too seriously, if you ask me." Yukari and I had been held up for the past ten minutes by Meiling, the gate guard. During that time, I started getting a headache. I assumed it was the result of missing my daily medication after Yukari gapped me.

While Yukari recommended that we simply gap inside, I had insisted on the diplomatic approach, saying that just breaking into the SDM would make Remilia even less likely to return the Hakkero, if at all.

Yukari pulled me off to the side. "Oh, fuck this. Can we try my way now? We obviously aren't getting anywhere fast." The gap youkai was pissed off to no end.

I was about to answer, but a heavy thump behind us announced Sanae's arrival. The shrine maiden sat atop the mound of metal, now molded into a smooth sphere. "Look, we just want to chat with Patchouli Knowledge. We don't mean anybody any harm."

"Be that as it may, it's my job to let nobody in." Meiling hesitantly replied. I had to admit, in the extremely rare occasion she was awake, Meiling was a very dedicated guard.

There's GOT to be a way to get in… In the deep, dark recesses of my mind, an idea formed. It was a very cruel and underhanded idea, but it would put Meiling out of the picture. Question is, should I go through with it or not?

…Meh, Meiling's a butt-monkey anyway. The consequences, if any, probably won't be that severe.

"Hey, are those natural?" I pointed to Meiling's chest. "I've met a lot of women who claimed to be well-endowed, only to discover they were lying."

Meiling glanced down, squeezing her breasts. "Of course they're natural. I don't wear pads like—" the unfortunate girl was cut off by a knife buried in the back of her skull.

"That was a dirty trick." Sakuya Izayoi materialized next to the fallen girl. She looked to me. "…I commend you for your ingenuity. Next time you pull a stunt like that, however, I will kill you."

I blinked. So much for no consequences… "Duly noted." I nodded. It was not a good idea to be on the bad side of a woman who could -literally- kill you instantly. "Yukari here said that you found the Hakkero and brought it back to the Mansion with you. Is there anything I could do to convince you to return it? I don't intend to return it to Marisa, in case you're wondering."

Sakuya paused. "The look on your face tells me that Kirisame is the least of your problems. Are you worried what would have happened if I surrendered the black-white's weapon to the Mistress?" I froze. "I see that I am correct. But don't worry—I haven't told Remilia. Believe it or not, even I accept that there are some things that she is better off not knowing."

"So where is it now? Do you still have it?" Sanae asked.

Sakuya shook her head. "I gave it to Patchouli for safekeeping. The mistress would have sensed the Hakkero's power on my person, so I'm keeping it in the library, which is saturated in magic."

"Smart thinking." Yukari nodded. "I doubt that Remilia would stop even at harming her head maid to get her hands on it."

"You take me for a fool, Yakumo."

I stepped forward. "In addition to the Hakkero, I came to request Patchouli's aid for creating a weapon." I gestured towards the metallic orb that Sanae was sitting on. "We brought her material to work with, and she is free to keep whatever remains afterward."

Sakuya stepped forward to examine the metal. "Let's see… well. These metals are quite rare in Gensokyo, and I'm sure Patchouli would appreciate the extra materials for her research…" she thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Your request is very agreeable. I'll contact Patchy and tell her you're coming in; I'm sure she'll be willing to set aside her research for just a little while."

"That's no small feat, to get the bookworm to willingly part with her books. How do you manage that on a regular basis?" I asked.

"My interactions with the residents of the Mansion are my own business." Ouch. "So, once you've had a word with the mistress, I'll be waiting in Voile with the Hakkero."

Sakuya's form flickered once. With a yelp, Sanae dropped to the ground, the orb underneath her having disappeared. Sakuya suddenly looked very tired. "You know, I would have been more than happy to help you carry that in," I suggested.

"No…" Sakuya panted. "It wouldn't be fair to set a burden on a guest."

"Hey, it beats trying to explain irony to a fairy," Yukari quipped.

Suddenly, all the women around me burst into laughs and giggles. Even the unconscious Meiling smiled. "Er, what are you guys talking about?" I inquired.

"That idiot Cirno somehow managed to freeze herself a few months back," Yukari explained between fits of laughter.

"…Wow…" I'd have to ask somebody about that later.

"Anyway, come on in." Sakuya motioned for the group to enter.

"Are we going to do something about that?" I pointed to Meiling.

Sanae dismissed my question with a wave of her hand. "Oh, she'll be fine in about two hours."

XXXXX

"So this is the outsider…" Remilia Scarlet purred, looking me over with her piercing red eyes. The petite girl had small specks of deep scarlet blood dotting her dress, evidence of the contents of her recent meal. "Looks like a sweet kid… sweet enough to eat, if you ask me." She grinned, baring her wickedly-sharp fangs at me. "I did just get interrupted in the middle of my feeding, after all."

"The boy belongs to me." Yukari interrupted. "We're here to see Patchy, and once we've spoken to her, we'll be on our way."

"Geez, such a whiner." Remilia shifted in her seat. "At the very least, could you pay a visit to my sister? She's been very lonely as of late, and I think a playmate would do her some good." She glanced over the group in front of her. "Any takers? Or should I pick someone out myself?"

Sanae stepped forward. "I can handle this, guys, you go on to Voile. I mean, what's the worst a little girl could do?"

Several hours from now, she'll run screaming through the door as the harbinger of death closes in. I kept my mouth shut.

"That will do." Remilia gestured to a door to her right. "Follow that hall to the end, and make a left. The door to Voile will be the third on the right."

With quick thanks, Yukari and I left the room. "Now, if you'll come with me…" Remilia motioned for Sanae to follow her, "I'll introduce you to Flandre."

XXXXX

"Yukari. Outsider. Good to see you made it past Remilia." Sakuya greeted us as we entered the Magic Library.

"Thank you. And for future reference, my name is Luke."

"I'll keep that in mind… Luke." Sakuya smiled wryly. She stepped over to a nearby table and picked up a small object. She held up the Hakkero for us to see. "I believe this is yours. I intend to hold you on your word that this does not return to Marisa's hands in the foreseeable future."

"Don't worry; I have no intention of giving this thing back for a while." I gratefully accepted the Hakkero from Sakuya. "As long as I hold this weapon, Marisa poses no significant threat as a thief. And if she still tries something, perhaps, say, a raid on the Scarlet Devil Mansion, she will be so thoroughly pummeled that she won't even think twice about robbing anybody for a very long time."

"Did I hear my name, ze?"

OH. FUCK. NO.