5. Catastrophe in Voile

"Well, speak of the devil…" Sakuya muttered under her breath.

"YOU!" Marisa cried as she zipped into view. "You're to one who took my Hakkero! Give it back-ze!"

"What, this?" I lifted my prize. "Look, it's about time you learned some humility. You're not going to accomplish that unless you're brought down to everybody else's level." I stuffed the Hakkero into my pocket. "As such, I'll be holding on to this for a little while longer."

"Careful, Luke, don't want to piss her off too much…" Yukari warned.

"So you're gonna be like that, eh? Fine!" Marisa drifted lower to the ground until she was level with me. "The Hakkero may be the source of the most of my power, but at least I have enough natural talent to beat you into the ground!" She rose to a standing position on her broom, and with a burst of blue light, shot towards me. "Stardust Reverie!"

I quickly skipped to the side, dodging the blue bullet zipping towards me. Marisa, suddenly lacking a target, crashed headlong into a bookshelf. "A question, Yukari. Is it really necessary to announce your attacks?"

"Most youkai with an innate sense for magic can manipulate the elements at will, as well as some miko. Others who must struggle to use magic must recite an incantation. Luckily for them and unluckily for us, said incantations are fairly short, barely more than a phrase or two." Yukari cocked her head, narrowly missing a danmaku star aimed at her face. "Of course, people like her do it either way for their ego."

"Ah." I spotted a wand on the nearby table. As a joke, I picked it up and aimed at Marisa, who was floating out of the pile of books that collapsed on her, and cried, "Stupefy!"

Imagine my surprise when the tip of the wand flashed a bright red, and Marisa was flung off her broom by an invisible explosion, into another bookshelf. "What the hell!?" I pitched the wand away in horror.

"Yeah, guess you weren't expecting that." Yukari shrugged. "I have a habit of gapping random stuff from different franchises whenever I get bored. Figured Patchy would appreciate another magical toy once I was done wreaking havoc with it."

"Hey, who's messing with my equipment?" A quiet, weak voice echoed through the library. A small girl with long violet hair and dressed in a poofy pink-purple gown floated into view.

"Oh, Patchouli. I was beginning to wonder where you were." Sakuya drifted up to the sorceress. "As you can see, we, er…"

"The rat has had something stolen from her, for a change." Patchouli Knowledge floated to the ground and walked up to me. "And the culprit is a mundane. If that hasn't dealt a blow to her ego, I don't know what will." The Hakkero slipped out of my pocket and landed in Patchy's outstretched hand.

"You're not going to hand that over to Remilia by any chance, are you?" I asked nervously.

"Of course not. I agree with Sakuya that giving the Hakkero to Remilia would be an unwise action." Behind Patchouli, the metallic orb levitated through the air and came to a rest on the ground in front of Yukari. Meanwhile Patchy was fiddling with the Hakkero, which began to glow a soft blue. "I received your offering, and you should be happy to know that I would gladly take you up on your proposition. Before we can start, however…" She glanced to the fallen bookshelf, where Marisa took to the air once more, her eyes red with fury. "The infestation needs to be dealt with."

"What do you suggest? I prevented her from stealing my stuff, dealt her a cheap blow, took her weapon, and humiliated her, yet she keeps coming."

"Yeah, she used to be a LOT more reasonable before Reimu introduced the concept of lives to the Danmaku system," Yukari added.

"Relax, I've got this under control." With a flick of her wrist, Patchouli pitched the Hakkero to Marisa, to my shock. "I've no quarrel with you today, Kirisame. Just take your trinket and leave!"

Marisa caught the Hakkero with one hand, a wicked grin plastered on her face. "Oh, I will. But first… I'm going to get some payback!" She took aim at me with her reacquired weapon. "MASTER SPAR-"

At that instant, Marisa's building power set off the magic-sensitive trigger Patchouli had planted on the Hakkero, absorbing all the energy the witch was pouring into it, and throwing it all back at her. Long story short, the Hakkero sputtered and exploded in Marisa's face.

Yukari cringed as the girl went sailing off her broom; I on the other hand fought back the urge to comment on the irony and déjà vu of the situation.

The words instantly died in my throat when a pillar of light blew through the roof, consuming Marisa completely. After a few moments, the beam dissipated and Yuuka Kazami dropped in through the hole. A smoking body sat at her feet.

"Where have you run off to, Yukari…?" Yuuka called. "Thought you could just walk into my home and not hear from me, eh? Well, you thought wrong!"

"Oh shit…" I gaped.

Hearing my exclamation, Yuuka gave me a sideways glance. "I'm guessing you're the one that my sister picked up. And the bitch had the nerve to set you down on my bed! Oh, how I'm going to enjoy tearing you limb from limb…" Off to the side, Sakuya and Patchouli both wore a baffled expression.

I held my hands up. "Hold on. I didn't land in your garden on purpose..." I paused to reconsider my statement. "It wasn't a conscious act, anyway. How about I just let you destroy Yukari, and I vanish from your life and never bother you again?"

Yuuka tilted her head, thinking for a moment. "…No, I'd rather kill you. It's always more fun to dismember somebody than to let them go."

"What are you doing, you fool?" Sakuya hissed at me. "You can't reason with any wild youkai, let alone her! You're going to get yourself slaughtered!"

"Can you think of a better option!?" I snapped back.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?" The doorway to Voile shattered inward, getting everybody's attention. A slim brunette girl with an oversized hair ribbon and a modified miko outfit stepped into view. "First I learn Yukari gapped in an outsider without alerting me, and now this? She's got a lot to answer for when I find her…"

Thank god, Reimu's here; she's got the political pull to defuse this situation. But speaking of Yukari... I glanced around to discover that she'd vanished. Aw hell no, don't tell me the bitch abandoned us!

"Oh my, another sacrificial lamb? Wonderful." Yuuka raised her parasol, the tip glowing a hot pink, and took aim at me. "So, who wants to die first? After this boy, of course. To be fair, I'll give you five seconds to pray to whatever gods you worship."

Reimu whipped around and spotted me. Almost immediately, she groaned. "Oh, no. An American."

"Hey, what's that supposed to—"

"Time's up."

My statement was cut off as the world exploded around me.

It's a peculiar feeling, getting blasted head-on with a danmaku bolt. For a brief instant, all I could feel was a mind-numbing, searing hot pain blooming in my chest. I vaguely recall being blown off my feet and tossed through the air ragdoll-style. Before I could realize what had hit me, I slammed into the wall.

The pain that shot through my skull upon impact drowned out all other sensations, followed shortly thereafter by oblivion.

XXXXX

Reimu Hakurei visibly blanched when the outsider boy slammed into the wall head-first.

She knew that Yukari had contingencies set in place for emergencies like this, but this poor boy couldn't have been in Gensokyo for more than a day or two… nowhere near long enough to come to terms with his new surroundings. Silently, she prayed that he'd survived; or, failing that, that his death had been quick. Some people just had the worst luck.

"Blast, I think I may have overdone it." Yuuka sounded disappointed. "I was planning on keeping him alive to torture later…" She shrugged. "Oh, well. Who's next?"

"Scatter!" Reimu didn't need to be told twice. At Sakuya's command, the remaining conscious girls in the room took to the air.

Yuka's lips spread into a maniacal grin. "Putting up a fight, eh? That's more like it!" She raised her parasol and opened fire with staggered waves of petal-shaped danmaku. Sakuya and Patchouli ducked behind bookshelves for cover while Reimu rapidly brought up a barrier to absorb the shots.

As the other girls began to trade fire, Yukari silently tiptoed out of a gap behind a bookshelf, out of view of the combatants. She waited for an opening, and once one was presented to her, she snuck over to Luke's prone form. She checked his pulse and discovered that, beyond all odds, he was still alive, albeit in a coma. This kid must have been something, to take a hit from Yuuka. That sure was a nasty burn on his chest, though…

Bah, who am I to complain? This just makes the task-at-hand easier for me. Yukari propped the boy up against the wall and examined his skull. Right away she found a massive crack just behind his right ear. This had probably done a number on the right half of his brain, so Yukari would have to fix that. Quietly, she gripped Luke by the scalp and did what she does best: warping reality.

Within moments, the blood flowing from the wound vanished, and the bone shifted back into position. The brain damage was a bit trickier to fix, but Yukari managed, and soon enough the boy looked good as new. Confident of her work, Yukari produced a pail of ice water and upended it over his head…

XXXXX

For a short while, pure, suffocating darkness was all I was aware of. Later on, I would look back to the experience and question if that was what I could look forward to in the afterlife…

Then, I was suddenly thrust back into reality by a blast of coldness washing over my face. I began to sputter and flail as the feeling returned to my body. Quickly, I discovered that I was soaking wet for some reason.

"Sorry about that. It was the only way I knew of to wake you up in a hurry." I frantically pawed around until I found my face and rubbed the water out of my eyes.

"What… what happened?" I coughed. Finally, my vision began to clear up, and I found Yukari crouching in front of me.

"Yuuka hit you with a danmaku shot and propelled you into the wall." That explained the tingling in my chest. "'Damn near caved your skull in on impact, I might add. I managed to fix you up, but you're going to be disoriented for a while."

Slowly, my memory of the past few minutes came back to me. "But… what about Yuuka…"

"Don't worry." Suddenly, Yukari put a hand to her ear. "I get the feeling that that situation is about to resolve itself."

Before I could ask her what she meant, an echoed scream reached my ringing ears.

"I NEVER AGREED TO THIS! THAT CHILD IS INSANE!"

Huh. I was wondering where Sanae'd gone to.

Still firmly planted at her entrance point, Yuuka was caught unprepared when Sanae flew straight through the smashed-down door and bowled into the flower youkai. As Yuuka doubled over, clutching her gut, another girl shot into the room.

I turned away to avoid witnessing the sure-to-be-painful impact. Suffice it to say, telling from the sickening crunch I heard, neither Yuuka nor Flandre Scarlet remained conscious long enough to see who had the thicker skull.

"What happened?" Patchouli drifted into view. "Why did she stop shooti… oh. Oh dear. Sakuya…?"

"Huh?" There was a sudden scream off to my right. "YOUNG MISTRESS!" Sakuya shot to Flandre's side and picked her up, cradling her like a newborn as she inspected her. She eventually let out a sigh of relief. "…She's still breathing. Thank god."

"Well… that's one way to defuse a situation," Reimu said. "Where's that boy? Is he okay?"

"Over here," I called out with a hoarse throat. "And I have a name, you know. Luke."

"I'll keep it in mind." Reimu touched down in front of me and Yukari. She only spared the gap hag a brief, infuriated glance before returning her attention to me. "That was some hit you took back there. For a moment I was worried you'd been killed."

"I managed to fix the most severe injuries," Yukari explained. "So no wor—"

"Gah!" Yukari was cut off by my cry of pain. I clutched my head as a burning spike of agony shot through my skull. "What the fuck did you do? It feels like somebody's drilling a hole in my skull!"

"It's probably nothing, kid. You did just receive a serious skull fracture; it would be a bad sign for there not to be some pain, because that would mean I failed to stitch up your nerves correctly."

Slowly, the pain ebbed away and I picked myself up. "You don't say…"

"Speaking of near-pulverized…" The girls turned towards the source of the mysterious new voice. "Was it really necessary to incapacitate Yuuka in such a brutish fashion?"

Reimu's jaw went slack at the sight before her. "Oh, no. Please, let this all be a bad dream…"

"There's two of them?" Patchouli squeaked. Oh, now I know who just showed up.

"Hello, Hana," I greeted the conscious flower youkai.

"Outsider." Hana Kazami gave me a nod. "I see Yukari has explained things to you. Though I never had the privilege of learning your name, mister…"

"Luke Thesda. I apologize for us crossing paths under unusual circumstances, again. Also for knocking out your sister."

"Sister…?" Reimu shot Yukari a murderous glare as Hana made her introductions to the SDM residents. "Yukari…" her voice dripped with venom.

"Look, Reimu, I can explain…" Yukari began to slowly shuffle backwards.

With a flick of her wrist, Reimu buried the tip of her gohei in the gap youkai's forehead.