Kurt was only half awake when he felt warm, soft lips on his. He lazily raised his hand to touch his boyfriend's face and could feel the hint of stubble, which could only mean that Blaine hadn't been awake very long either. Usually, as Kurt always slept late on weekends, Blaine would already be up and showered by the time he woke up. His fingers traced Blaine's jaw line as he kissed him back, breathing in deeply through his nose.
"I love you." Blaine mumbled sleepily into his lips, crawling on top of him and pressing close.
Kurt shivered a bit and slid his hands down Blaine's broad shoulders, murmuring, "I love you, too." There were some things you just didn't get used to, and waking up to Blaine Anderson kissing you was one of them. It never failed to make his heart pound and to warm his insides. He didn't think it would ever fail to do so either.
It seemed to take ages, but Blaine finally pulled away from him. Kurt opened his eyes to see his boyfriend's hazel ones staring back at him. He felt himself smile and he stretched his arms out, wrapping them around Blaine's neck.
"Good morning, my love." Blaine grinned in a sleepy but adorable kind of way that made Kurt's stomach do cartwheels. "You still look asleep."
"'M waking up. Gimme a minute." Kurt yawned, lowering his arms and snuggling up to Blaine. "Happy anniversary."
Blaine wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, pulling him closer. "Happy anniversary, Kurt."
"'M waking up, I promise. I am." Kurt mumbled, pulling the blankets over their heads.
"Are you sure about that?" Blaine laughed quietly, ruffling his hair. "You can sleep some more. I'll take a shower."
"Don't leave me." He whined, looking up with big eyes and what he hoped was an adorable pout. "Please."
"Since when can you not sleep alone while I shower? You've only been doing it every weekend day since I've moved in." his boyfriend laughed again, kissing his cheek.
"'Cause it's our anniversary and we have to spend every second together." He grabbed the pillow, dragging it down over their heads in a half-conscious attempt to deter his boyfriend's leaving. "So don't leave."
"Or you could get up. That's an option too, you know?" Blaine tugged gently at his hair after moving the pillow off of them easily.
"Stoooop it."
"Wake up, Kurt. Wake up, Kurt." The older boy sang, poking him gently everywhere he could reach. "Wake up, Kurt."
Finally, Kurt shot up into a sitting position and crossed his arms over his chest. His boyfriend could be cute, sweet, and charming. But he could also be very childish and downright annoying when he wanted. "Blaine Anderson! You're insufferable. You're a nuisance. You're a—mmh!"
Blaine cut him off, kissing him very eagerly. Kurt returned the kiss just as eagerly, hands going back over Blaine's broad shoulders and then letting his hands slide up his shirts and over his boyfriend's stomach. Blaine let out a groan into his mouth, shuffling closer—Kurt didn't know whether it was an attempt to stop his hands roaming or if it was meant to be encouragement, because you could never really tell with Blaine. He took the fact that Blaine's tongue slid into his mouth to prove it was encouragement and slid his hands down to Blaine's hips, laying down and bringing his boyfriend with him.
This continued, very close to getting very heated, until Carole knocked on the door. "Breakfast is on the table, boys!"
Blaine let out a tiny groan of frustration and pulled away, scowling, and hissed quietly, "It's like they've got cameras in here, Kurt. I bet they do. Every time anything good happens, someone barges in or knocks or yells for one of us."
"We're coming, Carole!" Kurt said, much better at sounding completely normal after a very heated make out session than he used to. Then again, he and Blaine had had a lot of practice since that date in early February that his grandmother and aunt had interrupted. After they heard her retreating steps, Kurt sat up. "We better get down there. If we take too long she'll start crying about how we don't want to be around her."
Blaine stood up, his frustration only half way forgotten. It was really tough living with Kurt's parents. They were growing closer. They'd been together for a year. It was tough not being able to just take Kurt then and there. He was going to like when they could have sex whenever they wanted, without interruption. Or when they could stay out late and not worry about calling Burt or Carole. Blaine was able to do whatever he wanted, of course. Kurt, however, was a different story. And lately it was a very pregnant Carole that had been so protective of Kurt. She's also been very emotional. To the point that it was almost unbearable at times.
Neither boy had ever been around a pregnant person—Blaine was the baby in his family and Kurt had been an only child. Kurt didn't quite count being around Quinn because it was something entirely different to live with a pregnant woman and to spend a few hours a week with a pregnant woman. Both boys had known women had mood swings but he didn't realize just how… well, mood swing like they could be. One minute she would be laughing hysterically and the next she'd be weeping into a bowl of ice cream on the couch. Also, the food cravings were enough to make Blaine and Kurt want to vomit and Burt to file bankruptcy. She was constantly making Burt to go pick her up the most random things like green olives and ham salad. Together. Or watermelon and milk. Also, together. And of course the obligatory pickle cravings. Burt was very patient with her over her cravings. He wasn't patient over her wanting new food. It didn't matter if he bought it yesterday. It had to be fresh. Fresh, fresh, fresh. There was only so much food you could talk three teenage boys into eating. The above listed, and the latest craving of fresh potato salad, were not included in things you could force them into eating by any means. This is why their refrigerator was over flowing with food that would go to waste.
"Can you imagine being pregnant and living with three boys, though? I bet she dreams of murdering us all in her sleep every night with an axe." Kurt crawled out of bed and stumbled to his closet, changing into jeans and his favorite Marc Jacobs button up shirt. Maybe he should have put more thought into his outfit for their anniversary—their one year anniversary! He could barely believe it! A year!— but he figured that, after a year, it didn't much matter. Besides, it wasn't like Blaine was going to run too far away from him. Kurt had stolen his copy of Harry Potter—something Blaine would not have let go easily, as it was a first edition.
"I know. Poor Carole." Blaine sighed, moving towards the door. "I'm going to take a shower."
Kurt's eyes widened in horror and he faced his boyfriend. "Oh no, you are not! You aren't making me go down there alone, Blaine. You're her favorite. Why do you think Dad keeps making you stay downstairs and do homework? Because when you're around, she cries less."
"I'm not her favorite." The older boy shrugged nonchalantly.
"Blaine, I know she enjoys snuggling up with me while she cries, but you're like her best friend. You know it's true. You cannot make me go down there alone." The last part came out a half growl. Kurt wasn't going to budge on this. Besides, Carole would weep when she saw the two of them. She had every day for the last week, just because their one year anniversary had been coming up. Now that it was here… no, Kurt didn't want to think about it. At least, though, it had distracted him from the trial. He was grateful for that.
"But look at this." Blaine pointed at his facial hair. "I do not like this. It is not dapper Blaine. It is undapper Blaine."
Kurt just rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand, dragging him downstairs. Secretly, he thought it was a little sexy. Not that he'd want Blaine to keep it that way, though, because it was very scratchy when they kissed. All the same, though, his boyfriend looked sexy.
"Happy Anniversary!" Carole threw herself at both of them as they made their way into the kitchen. "Oh, you boys! A year! I could just cry!"
"Please don't." Burt said from the table, looking exhausted.
Carol opened her mouth to say something, but Kurt pulled her into a hug before she could.
"Thank you, Carole."
"Kurt wouldn't let me shave." Blaine muttered, sitting at the table next to Kurt's father. "He said I had to come down with him so she wouldn't cry."
"I'm thinking about attaching you to her hip until July." Burt grunted, taking a drink of his coffee. "How much money would I have to give you for that, kid?"
"A year!" Carole beamed, looking back and forth between Kurt and Blaine. "I'm just so happy!"
And then she began to cry. Burt hung his head in a 'God help me' sort of way. "A million dollars? I'll sell Kurt off, I'm sure someone would pay that much for him. He always wanted to be Tinkerbell when he was younger. He can sew himself a nice little costume."
Blaine actually stared at Burt blankly. He was willing to sell Kurt to be done with the crying? This is why Blaine was gay. This is what pregnant women reduced wonderful, caring fathers to. And Kurt wanted to be Tinkerbell? That was just cute.
"I'll take that as a no." Burt sighed.
"Y-y-you just don't u-u-understand! H-He was so s-sad a-and now h-he's got B-Blaine and I-I'm so ha-happy that he's s-s-so happy! H-He's such a g-good boy, B-Burt! I w-was so w-worried!" Carole sobbed, arms limp at her sides and stomach quite in the way of Kurt's hug.
That made Kurt's stomach knot up a bit, but he held on tighter and buried his head in her neck. He hadn't realized that Carole had known how unhappy he was before Blaine. He had hoped that he'd been a little better at disguising it, but apparently not. He also wondered if that was why she'd wholeheartedly accepted Blaine into the family before ever really meeting him. The first time she'd met Blaine she'd given him a huge hug, had kissed his cheek, and barely let him even introduce himself to Finn and Burt. After they had begun dating, though, she'd stayed in the living room with the boys for hours asking Blaine all kinds of questions about himself, his family, and his friends. Honestly the woman had gotten more background information from Blaine in that hour than Kurt had gotten in months of early morning coffee run conversations. Had she been so willing to accept Blaine because Blaine made him happy? He felt a huge rush of gratitude towards his stepmother.
"Yes, well, he's fine now, Carole." Burt said firmly, in an attempt to soothe her and put a stopper in her tears. It, of course, only encouraged them.
"T-These boys w-warm my h-heart!" she threw her arms around Kurt to return the hug and sobbed helplessly. Kurt hugged her back even tighter, well he made an attempt to, and rubbed her back. "I-I-I'm just so happy! You boys!"
"You don't have to cry, Carole." Blaine said gently from the table.
"Come here, you!" she waved him over. When he was within reaching distance she grabbed him and pulled him into the hug, just crying between them. "Y-you two are i-in love a-and it just w-warm m-my heart. You t-two are s-so b-beautiful a-and I just… oh, you boys!"
"Okay, Carole, sweetie." Burt pried her off after about ten minutes of Carole crying and the boys taking turns trying to console her. "They need to eat. They're doing some more apartment shopping, remember? They've got a big day planned."
"Don't let them leave! I l-love them! Ground them! You boys are grounded!"
"They are not grounded. I know you love them, but they'll be back home in a few hours for dinner. It's stuff they've got to get done and I'm sure they'd like some time alone." Kurt's father said, maintaining his firm voice. "Let's go and watch one of those movies you like, alright? Then you can take a nap and by time you wake up, the boys will be home.""
"Can we s-sit in the nursery fo-for a while?" she sniffled, wiping her puffy eyes.
"Sure." Burt shrugged and led her off, turning around and mouthing, 'Go now while you can.'
Kurt pulled Blaine out without hesitation, breakfast forgotten.
"I'm in my pajamas!"
"So? We've got to get out now. You know how she gets. This is going to be one of those days that she cries over anything. I didn't have the heart to say we were eating dinner out, so we'll have to eat twice." He smirked a bit and then added, "I'm sure you'll have no problem with that, though."
"I don't have any shoes on!" Blaine pointed at his bare feet. Then he scowled. "Hey! Are you saying I eat too much?
"That is exactly what I am saying, Blaine." He grinned at his older boyfriend impishly. "And you've got shoes in your car."
Even Blaine would have to admit that this much was true. He had almost everything that you could imagine in his car. He could keep an entire house clean—spotless, even, but his car was always a wreck. No matter how many times Kurt cleaned it out. And believe me, Kurt cleaned it out a lot because Blaine was usually the one to drive. Kurt secretly didn't mind that Blaine always drove, either, but would never admit that.
Blaine tried one last attempt to get back into the house. "My wallet."
Kurt held it up, still smirking in a smug way. He just knew Blaine too well.
"Fine, fine. But if anyone I know sees me with this," he gestured to his face, still scowling. "I will harm you."
"It's handsome on you. Come on, let's go. We've got stuff to buy."
Blaine stopped and pulled him close, looking him in the eyes. It was hard to pay attention to what he said, though, because Blaine kept focusing on how gorgeous his hazel eyes were and how in the light they appeared green. "Four hours. That is the amount of time you have, Kurt. Alright?"
Four hours? How did Blaine expect them to get all of their apartment shopping done in four hours? Sure, they'd already been on two or three shopping trips. And sure, they were putting off the big stuff like ordering a bed and bigger furniture until closer to time. But still. Four hours? They still had to get… basically anything that wasn't huge that was sold at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. So far they'd gotten some—and by some he meant two bowls— dishes, a water and fish filled toothbrush holder, dinosaur shaped ice trays, and pot holders. It wasn't hard to guess who had picked out what. Most of their shopping trips had been for the nursery mainly, though, which Kurt had finished two days before.
The baby's room had taken three days and nights to complete; he had missed Glee Club to do so after school, and both Blaine and Burt had to offer assistance in getting it finished in a timely fashion. Of course Kurt could have waited. They weren't officially moving until June 8th, and it was only mid-April, but he wasn't sure how much he would feel like doing when the trial got closer. This is why he had painted the nursery early and also why Carole had almost fallen to the floor crying when she'd seen it for the first time and, ever since the paint fumes cleared out, she could often be found sitting in the white wooden rocking chair and humming. She was completely content with her nursery that was a very pale purple and had white furniture. In her mind, it was perfect. It looked like it had been professionally done, but Kurt was the type of person to give his all in every project so no one had expected anything less than perfection.
Needless to say, if it had taken Kurt two months long to plan a nursery and prepare, how long would it take him to plan and prepare for an entire apartment? Blaine, who was already getting swamped with work prior to finals and spring break, hadn't been much help apart from the occasional Saturday or Sunday. The older boy's lists he'd scratched down during classes only did so much. Besides, his lists started off with the best of intentions (cage for Kreacher when we aren't home, cart for microwave, silverware) but by the ends of the lists they more turned into the grocery list that a junk food crazed child would make (dinosaur chicken nuggets, pizza rolls and hot pockets because he could never choose, and Jumbo Tootsie Rolls, and a dinosaur sandwich cutter, please, for when I want to take sandwiches in my lunch. But if they don't have a dinosaur one, the heart shaped one will do ).
"Four hours, Blaine? Really? Four hours?" The younger boy scoffed, looking back at him. "You realize how much stuff we still have to get, right? Try everything."
"I'm happy with my ice trays and toothbrush cup." Blaine said, until he saw Kurt's glare. "Fine. We'll see how much we get done in four hours and the re-evaluate… but I'd really like to spend some of our anniversary together and not in a store. I know that is shocking to hear. I feel like all of our alone time is us shopping lately."
"Okay, okay. We'll re-evaluate in a few hours." Kurt nodded, because he did know that most of their free time lately had been in stores. It wasn't his fault, though, that he'd had to prepare a nursery and buy stuff for an apartment almost at once. Carole and Burt had picked a really bad time to get pregnant. "But this means you can't stop every time you see something that remotely resembles a toy and play with it. Okay?"
"But that's the best part of Bed, Bath, and Beyond. They've got all kinds of toys in random places to occupy—." Blaine began to protest, but was interrupted.
"To occupy the little children. Not the big children."
Blaine made a 'hmph' noise and got into the passenger seat of Kurt's car. "You know what? For that comment you can drive."
"Don't you want to get some shoes first?"
…
Their first anniversary had gone very well. After stopping for lunch, the boys spent about three hours buying stuff for the apartment. Blaine didn't find shopping in the same stores Kurt had dragged him to every free day the boys had that thrilling. In fact, he'd probably memorized the entire store layout enough to draw a map by now. He did, however, enjoy spending the time with Kurt. As much as Blaine was sick of the store, Kurt couldn't get enough of it. As far as picking out things, Blaine just assumed to let Kurt pick what he wanted and to agree that it was amazing. It made life simpler that way, and did he really care what kind of dishes, curtains, and shelves they had? No. His mind was too focused on the frozen yogurt they would be getting after they left.
This focus was why what he picked out was, as Kurt would later dub, a heart attack in a cup. Because he'd been debating for hours what he wanted in his yogurt and had not been able to decide, he had simply gone with everything he loved. After all, it was his one year anniversary. Couldn't he treat himself?
"How do we go to get a healthy snack that is frozen yogurt and you get cookie dough stuff with chocolate chips and hot fudge, chocolate, marshmallows, graham cracker, and sprinkles?" Kurt asked as he sat down next to his boyfriend. He was still trying to figure out how Blaine's cup was filled to the brim and he'd been done a whole minute before Kurt (who only got frozen yogurt with some chocolate on it).
Blaine blinked at Kurt, spoon half way to his mouth. "Well as long as it's healthier, I don't need to worry."
"It's not healthier if you… you know what? Never mind." Kurt shook his head, but was smiling. Blaine really was a big child. It wasn't just the ice cream either. Kurt slept late on weekends and often came down to find Finn and Blaine on the couch, big bowls of cereal in their laps and watching cartoons. If Finn was home, they'd for sure be down there watching cartoons. Truth be told, he sort of liked it when they "forced" him to sit between them, curled up to Blaine, and watch the television as well until Burt came down and told them to act their age. (Which was completely ridiculous because Burt would make himself a bowl, sit down as well, and stay until got home from work at 2, glare at all four of them, and turn the television off. That was another story, though.)
The older boy just shrugged and took his spoonful of his "yogurt."
"Blaine… is that Fruity Pebbles?" Kurt grabbed the cup from him, surveying it closer. Oh my God. He's going to be dead before he's thirty at this rate, he thought as he took in the contents of the cup with wide eyes. It made his stomach hurt just looking at it. "And Oreos? And brownie pieces too? Oh my God, I didn't even see you getting all of this stuff! How did you manage to take a healthy snack and turn it into a… a heart attack in a cup?"
"Hey, I wanted to get the gummy worms too but I refrained." Blaine yanked his cup back, took a bite, and said with his mouth half full, "Yours is boring. You're just jealous because mine looks delicious."
"Yours looks like a five year old pointed to everything he recognized." Kurt retorted, shaking his head. "And mine is Chocolate Raspberry with hot fudge on it. How is that boring? It's classic."
"I'd much rather have a heart attack in a cup than something classic." Was all Blaine said before filling his mouth with a bite so big that even he couldn't talk and chew at the same time. It was a bit impressive considering all of the times Kurt had seen him talking with a mouth full of food.
"Sometimes I don't know how I'm attracted to you, Blaine." It was true. He sat and thought about it a lot, but he had come to the conclusion that there were just some things you couldn't explain. And for as childish and gross as Blaine could sometimes be, he really and truly loved Blaine. He couldn't imagine spending one day without him. It was going to be an adjustment to live alone in the same house as Blaine, yet probably have such different schedules. It almost made his heart ache, knowing school and work would come between them in some ways.
He wanted to just skip all that nonsense and fast forward to where Kurt's fashion line was doing so wonderfully that he could take off months at a time, that Blaine's law firm was doing well enough that he could take off whenever he'd like, and that the two were able to just live. Live alone, or maybe with kids. Either way, they'd be a family. Kurt didn't want to work for that, though. He wanted it to just happen. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.
"You still see me in the blazer." Blaine said cheerfully after swallowing the last of his monstrous bite and interrupting Kurt's thoughts. "I'm a bit depressed we had to turn them in at graduation."
"No. After Rachel's party, I only saw you in that cardigan. Where is it by the way? I haven't seen it in, like, a year."
Blaine made a funny face. "Wes ruined it. He spilled purple Koolaid on it. Actually, he spilled purple Koolaid on his textbook and used my cardigan to wipe it up. I was very sad, too. It was my favorite cardigan."
"I like your green one best." Kurt said cheerfully. "And the black and white striped one. Oh, and the blue one. You've got a lot… I can't believe you're eating that before dinner, Blaine. You won't be able to finish it."
"Are you kidding me? My stomach is like a black hole when it comes to sugary things and fast food!" he stood up eagerly and held out his hand.
"Don't forget Carole is making dinner too." Kurt warned, taking his hand and standing up. "She'll cry that you don't like it if you don't eat it all. I propose we go to BreadstiX, since that's the only place we can both always agree on. Well, that and the Lima Bean but it's too far of a drive to get there. I never understood why the Lima Bean wasn't in Lima."
"It used to be in Lima, but the owners moved and reopened it closer to their new home." Blaine said smartly, nodding. "Thirty years ago."
"How do you know everything?" Kurt led him to the door and held it open.
"Because I read a lot. Actually… it really annoyed me, so that's why I looked it up." He said, raising his index finger up in an "aha!" kind of way that he always did when he corrected himself.
"That would annoy you. The weirdest things bother you, Blaine." He snorted. "Come on, are you going to stand in the doorway forever?"
"What would you do if I said yes?" His boyfriend smirked a bit.
"I'd leave you because I am hungry." Kurt responded cheerfully, causing Blaine to scoff and fake an offended look. "Come on, Blaine. You were the one saying you wanted to spend time with me at home. Which means you probably think we'll have sex at some point today."
"Do not." Blaine muttered, but pointedly avoided making eye contact with the slightly taller boy as he finally left the doorway.
Kurt jogged to keep up with him and then whispered in his ear, "You're so addicted to my body." Blaine immediately turned bright red and mouthed wordlessly, making Kurt grin again playfully. "Aren't you? Hmm?"
"Stop it, Kurt." He finally mumbled.
"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy—." He began to sing as they reached the car.
"What were you watching?" Blaine yelped, hazel eyes doubling in size. He went pale and stared at his boyfriend in shock.
"Oh, I didn't watch anything!" Kurt beamed. "Wes called me last night when you were in class and we talked."
"I do not approve of this friendship blossoming between you two. You're not mature enough to ignore what he says."
"You got drunk and serenaded Thad with Do Ya Think I'm Sexy!"
"He's not gay!"
"Yes, he is! And you just walked right up to him, crawled on him, practically gave him a lap dance, and serenaded him! All this time I wondered why he was so obsessed with you. Well, this is why. He probably thought you liked him back… Wait, is there a video of this?"
"No." Blaine said too quickly. "Absolutely no video whatsoever."
Kurt made his way the driver side, whipping out his phone.
"Who are you texting?"
"Wesley. I've got to see this video."
"Wesley doesn't have it." Blaine said happily, climbing into the passenger seat.
"Well, who has it? Wesley will know…" he waited a few seconds, then reached into Blaine's pocket.
"Oh my God, Kurt, what are you doing?" Blaine squealed, trying to wiggle away.
"Getting Trent's number out of your phone." He said simply, amused. It wasn't often that Blaine tried to move away when Kurt's hands were anywhere below his stomach. Finally he pulled the phone out. Blaine kept leaning over him, trying to get it, but it was no use. That extra inch and a half went a long way when the both of them had somehow ended up, half way in the back seat, and Kurt had his arm outstretched as far as it would go. "Blaine, no! Move, you crazy buffoon!"
"Gimmemuhphone!" Blaine grunted. "I'll tickle you! I will tickle you, Kurt!"
"Don't you dare, Blaine Anderson. I'll kick you!" Kurt squealed, now trying to work his way into the back seat. It was no use though. While he kept a firm hold on Blaine's phone, Blaine's hands slid up his shirt and began ticking his side. "Oh God, Blaine, no! No!" he cried, laughing and jerking violently in a way that would have left him crying out in pain mere months before. "Stop it, stop! Nooo!"
"Drop the phone, Kurt!"
"N-N-Never!"
Blaine continued tickling him, waiting for him to be in a fit of giggles so hard that he wouldn't notice him reaching for the phone. "Alright, then. I just had all that sugar. My energy will last quite some time."
"Oh God." Kurt whimpered, giggling. "It hurts!"
"No it doesn't. You're not laughing that hard yet. You should be ashamed, making up pains to get out of being tickled. Using your injury to your advantage. What kind of person are you?"
"I'm sorry! It doesn't hurt! It doesn't huuurt! Stoooop!" Kurt giggled. "Stoooop! I can't breathe! Blaine, stop!"
"Drop it!"
"No!"
Kurt reached back and smacked him across the head, surprising him, and then climbed into the back seat. "Stay where you are!"
"You aren't getting that number! Gimme my phone!" Blaine asked, moving to climb back as well.
"You can't have your feet on my seats!" Kurt gasped.
Blaine grinned. "You can't get that number. And I stepped in mud yesterday, too. It's dried on my shoe."
Kurt's eyes widened. Oh hell no. Not on his seats. His expensive seats. His expensive spotless seats. "You're lying." He said, trying to sound confident.
"Are you sure about that, Kurt?"
"Blaine, don't!" he squealed.
"Give me my phone."
"B-but Blaine—." He whined. He really wanted to see that video. He didn't see why Blaine wouldn't tell him why he'd been arrested or what was meant by skinny jeans. And now he couldn't see a video of Blaine serenading Thad? It wasn't fair.
"Phone." Blaine outstretched his hand.
"No!" Kurt said stubbornly, cradling it to his chest.
"You know, it may have even been dog poop." His boyfriend tilted his head thoughtfully.
"Take it!" Kurt squealed, throwing the phone at his head. "And get those shoes off in my car right this minute!"
"Hey no—OH MY GOD!"
"Open the door." Rachel Berry said through the window.
"Yeah, while watching you all act like predatory lions is cute and all, we've got stuff to talk about." Mercedes Jones said.
"Serious things." Tina Cohen-Chang added.
Blaine looked at Kurt before opening the car door. Mercedes got into the driver's seat and, after Kurt opened the back door, Rachel and Tina got into the back. "If this is about a duet with you, Rachel, the answer is still no." Blaine sighed.
"This, Blaine Warbler, is more important than a duet with you. Besides, Kurt threatened to disown me as a friend if I kept asking you. I've moved on. Sam is taller than you anyway, and it makes us look positively adorable in a stage setting. Plus, your voice is getting a little generic." Rachel said dismissively, waving a hand in the air.
"Excuse me? My voice is not generic, Rachel Berry. If it weren't for Brittany and Mike's dancing and Santana's solo, the Warblers would have won Sectionals last year and you wouldn't have even made it to Nationals. Which you lost, by the way." Blaine scoffed.
"I don't think Finn would appreciate the way you talked to me just then. You know what? You like me. You do. We had an amazing time on that date, Blaine. There was chemistry. I think you're worried if you spend time with me you'll become even more sexually attracted to me. Let's face it. I'm very much like your boyfriend in many ways and I'm a girl. If you wanted the easy way out, I'd be the perfect substitute. And I've always wanted vaguely Eurasian looking babies."
"Rachel!" Kurt and Mercedes gasped together.
Rachel, however, did not take notice of this and continued. "It's okay if you're attracted to me like that, Blaine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being bisexual, contrary to what Kurt said. In fact, most people are nowadays. It's, like, the new straight. Especially for us young people. And several 'gay' people are deciding they're straight after college anyway. But you should know that I am in no way attracted to you because I love Kurt's brother. He's more a man than you'll ever be and he's not afraid to admit his true feelings. So if you do decide you're gay after college, please don't call me."
"Could she have been any more offensive in that statement?" Tina wondered aloud, eyes wide.
Blaine opened his mouth several times, eyes flashing angrily. He then sent Kurt a look that clearly said, I. Hate. Her. And at that point in time, Kurt couldn't really blame him. He couldn't even begin to explain how angry that statement had made him. Bisexual being the new straight? Gay people changing their minds after college? Her dads were gay! How could she have a mindset like that? And he didn't even want to get started on the fact that she said "Finn admits his true feelings." Finn had dated a girl he didn't like for months while he pined after Rachel. Sure, he'd finally done the right thing. But it hadn't been that long ago that he'd done the wrong thing, so Kurt was pretty sure she was giving Finn way too much credit.
Finally, Blaine seemed to come up with an appropriate response. He opened his mouth and retorted, "Right. I sleep in a bed with Kurt Hummel but I'm really pining after you, Rachel Berry, the world's biggest attention whore."
"Oh boy." Mercedes moaned, shaking her head.
"Think there'll be a Diva Off?" Tina said, not able to contain the excitement in her voice. "That would be awesome. We'll even remember this one."
Mercedes sighed, deciding to bring the conversation back to the topic at hand before the discussion got any worse. "Kurt, we've got something important to talk to you about. Yo—."
Rachel interrupted. "You're not going to prom? You think you can just announce something like that after glee club and drive off? Well, you can't!"
"And you… tracked me down in a parking lot to tell me that I can't say I'm not going to prom and drive off because?" Kurt asked slowly. He said it in a sweet voice, but the look on his face was proof that his sweetness was very sarcastic. "Tracked me down and then insulted not only my boyfriend, whom loves me and not you, but basically every other gay teenager in college or younger?"
"This is a Promvention, Kurt Hummel. You are going to prom." She replied.
"I refuse to participate in a Promvention. I don't know why you girls are depressed. I told Rachel and Mercedes at their sleepover months ago and, Tina, you don't seem like the person to really care about prom."
Rachel spun to look at him, as her attention had been focused on glaring daggers at Blaine. "Kurt, you cannot ruin my chance at the perfect family prom picture. Me, Finn, you, and Blaine all in prom attire. We'll show our children one day, Kurt. Wouldn't it be the perfect picture?" she let out a dreamy sigh and then narrowed her eyes. "No. You aren't taking it from me. You are going to prom."
"I thought this was about how Kurt loves dressing up for things like prom and how we don't want him to regret not going." Mercedes said sharply, sending a glare in Rachel's direction. "Baby, you've got to go to prom with us. I know what happened last year sucked but you can't let that scare you away from going this year. You have to show the kids that voted you Prom Queen and those idiots that beat you up that you don't care. What if you regret not going?"
"I'm not scared. It has nothing to do with those boys or that hideous tiara I've got stowed away." Kurt said simply, and very honestly. "I just have no interest in going to prom this year. I mean, I already won prom queen. What else is there for me to do?" he gave Mercedes a smile. "I'll be fine, 'Cedes. I promise. I'm not scared to go or anything. I just don't want to. I think one prom experience was enough for me."
"Prom is so you, though, Kurt." Tina said. "You even look dressed up in Gym."
"Come on, Kurt."
"You have to go."
"Kurt—"
"The pictures!"
Kurt gritted his teeth a bit, beginning to lose patience. He knew that they had good intentions, but he really just did not want to go to prom. He wasn't scared. He wasn't longingly staring at the prom posters in the hallways wishing he was going like he'd done in his freshman and sophomore years. In fact, he was glad he wasn't going. CSI: Gymnasium as a prom theme? Uh, no. What, were they going to kill Figgins and you couldn't leave the prom until you found his body? Thank you, but no thank you. Kurt would much rather drive to Columbus to the Cheesecake Factory with Blaine like they had agreed to do. They even planned on going to CCAD to look around while they were there if they arrived in Columbus early enough and could find it. They were going to have a good time. He'd had his few slow dances with his boyfriend at his last prom. He had his prom picture up on his wall next to his bed and another bigger one alongside Finn's on the living room mantle. He still had the tickets and the tiara. He had lived through the experience, the whole experience, and did not want to do so again.
"Okay." He raised his voice. The girls looked triumphant at first, thinking he was agreeing to go, but this didn't last long. "I am not going to prom. I don't want to go. I ate the crappy food last time, I stayed in the cramped gym with our entire upper-class, I wore an awesome kilt, I wasted $40 on a ticket, I had some good dances, and I am done with prom. Okay? I'm not scared, I'm not going to regret not going. I just don't want to go. Now if anyone has a problem with it, I don't care. I will help you pick out gorgeous dresses; I will go through Facebook pictures and laugh at the ugly tuxes and dresses; I will listen to all of the stories you want to tell. But I am not going. Blaine and I are going to go to Columbus and have an excellent time. It will be better because we won't have to smell sweaty boys who don't know how to properly bathe and sweaty girls who drench themselves in cheap perfume. The next day, I'm going down to Kentucky with him to register for classes early in the morning. So, I am not going."
"But—."
"Rachel Berry, shut up! What do you care as long as Finn goes?"
"Are you—."
"Yes, Tina, I am sure."
"But—."
"You can't change my mind. You can be upset all you want. But I'm not going." Kurt spoke in a firm voice with a definite tone of finality.
"Kurt—."
"This is supposed to be my one year anniversary! We're about to go to dinner and you are ruining it! I don't want to go to prom, Rachel! And don't think you can come back later and try to bully Blaine into making me go because I know it's going through your head! I don't want to go to prom! I don't want to go to prom! Alright? Carole's about to have a baby, I'm about to have to go to a trial and see the people that almost killed me, Mr. Schue is annoyed I don't want to go to Nationals with you all! I'm trying to move out of my house with Blaine and Finn keeps eating everything good in the fridge! I realize half of this has nothing to do with prom but I don't want to go!" Kurt suddenly exclaimed. All patience had been lost. He took in a deep breath.
"Look, guys," Blaine sighed. "What Kurt is trying to say is that a lot of stressful things are going on right now and prom would just add more stress. That's why we're going to go do something that isn't stressful. He needs to relax and not do something to add to the problem. If Kurt doesn't want to go to prom, you shouldn't make him feel bad about it. We all know he'd go if he wanted to. Kurt doesn't let other people keep him away from things he loves."
"Now I feel bad. You made us do this on their anniversary?" Tina muttered, looking at Rachel in disbelief. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I had no idea."
"It's not like they've been together five years or anything." She scoffed and faced Kurt. "Fine. If you really choose to not give me the family prom pictures I'm drea—."
"Come on, Miss Bossy Pants." Mercedes got out of the car and forcibly dragged Rachel out as Kurt opened his mouth to say something that was definitely not something anyone under the age of fifteen should have heard. "Kurt, baby, enjoy your day and call me tonight. It sounds like you need a phone date. We'll watch America's Next Top Model and chat over the commercials, okay?
"Okay." Kurt muttered.
"I hope we didn't really ruin your day, Kurt." Tina patted his hand and got out. The girls waved goodbye (Well, Rachel did not wave and continued going on about perfect family prom pictures) and got back into Rachel's tiny car.
Kurt maintained his seat in the back, arms crossed over his chest and scowling.
"I can't believe I'm saying this…" Blaine muttered. "Want Trent's phone number?"
"Yes." Kurt muttered back, glaring out the window in Rachel's' general direction.
"Fine. I'll get the video for you tonight if you come back up here."
"I just want to pout irrationally for a few minutes." Kurt tucked his feet underneath him, head against the car window, and sat silently.
Blaine, still in the passenger seat, leaned his head against the window also. He glanced at Kurt briefly, as Kurt was in the back on the other side of the car and he could do so. "I thought you weren't bothered with all that right now." He spoke gently.
"Well I wasn't until she started bringing up stressful things." Kurt pulled himself into a sitting position.
His boyfriend did the same, facing Kurt from the front seat. "You knew Rachel would pull something after how calmly she reacted to you saying you didn't want to go to Nationals with them. You said so yourself."
"I just like my bubble when I'm alone with you and I can forget everything else, okay? If I sat and thought about this trial all the time, I-I'd go crazy. They're walking around now, Blaine. They could be in there right now!" He pointed at the door of the frozen yogurt shop. "They could be anywhere."
Blaine got out of the car and then opened the back door, crawling in with him. "I know."
"I just don't want to think about it. You don't like thinking about your parents? Well I don't like dwelling on this." He gestured with his hands and then shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't want to think about this today. I didn't want to think about it today. Damn Rachel."
"Kurt, you were thinking about it on some level." Blaine watched him sympathetically.
He chewed on his nail anxiously. "I want it to go away. That's all. I want it to… I want… I want closure. I r-really want closure, Blaine." No. He wasn't going to get upset. Not today. Today was going to be a good day, their day. They'd been together for a year, they had gotten through so much, and they were in love. He was in love with Blaine, Blaine was in love with him, and nothing else was supposed to matter today.
"You'll get it, my love. I promise." Blaine grabbed his hand and held on tightly. There it was again, Blaine grabbing his hand and every problem seeming to get just a little smaller, a little easier to handle. "June 7th we will go into that court room and they'll see that you're okay. You won, Kurt. They tried to break you down and you didn't let them win. You'll see them go to jail for what they did to you and those other people. And then you'll have your closure."
"Do you think that will really give me closure?" he asked quietly, looking down at their hands.
"Yes." Blaine said confidently. "I do. Now we are going to move into the front seat, we are going to go have an amazing dinner in our booth at BreadstiX, we are going to take Carole and Burt back some dessert, we'll eat whatever dinner Carole's cooked for us, then we'll organize the new stuff because I know it's killing you, and then we'll lay down and just be together. Okay? Who cares about stupid prom? The Cheesecake Factory in Columbus is going to be so much better. And we'll even bring home cheesecakes. Plural. Doesn't that sound nice?"
"And fattening." Kurt mumbled, but his lips curved upward in a smile. "Okay, I'm down with that. I think it sounds like a fantastic end to our first year anniversary, Blaine Anderson."
"Just imagine our next first year anniversary." Blaine beamed at him. "I feel like there will be a lot more sex. Don't you?"
"If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on—."
"I set myself up for that one, didn't I?"