Hosts…and Hostess
Hosts…and Hostess?!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
AN: I hope you guys enjoyed the little story I wrote about my version of when Usagi met Michiru and Haruka. In the future chapters, I'm going to include the other SM characters in other interludes as well, mainly about Usagi's encounter with them before going to Ouran.
I'm so sorry for the long wait and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter!
Ch5
It was a peaceful day at Ouran High School and everything seemed to be going on just fine, until there was a loud stampede, consisting of an angry Tamaki, heading towards the host club's room. He threw open the doors and shouted, "Hikaru! Kaoru!" The said twins were lounging about in front of a laptop by the window, looking bored and disoriented. "I thought I assigned you two with the task of designing the host club website with the promise you guys won't mess around."
"And we did," Hikaru said with Kaoru adding, "We've been up till dawn trying to compose a nice picture of Usagi." They proudly showed Tamaki a picture of Usagi lying down on her sides on a beach shore wearing a black somewhat revealing bikini with a mischievous smirk on her face. They felt a strong killing intent coming from behind and knew that Usagi was contemplating whether or not to kill them, but they were too busy enjoying the show of an angry Tamaki to even care about their female member.
Tamaki threw his hands up in the air screaming, "Where did you get such a shameful picture of my daughter?" He quickly covered his face and screamed. "Those disgraceful boys will be ogling my precious virtuous baby girl."
"We brought her to our house and had her model in some clothes," the twins said with an unashamed grin on their faces. "You should see the lingerie shots."
Tamaki looked like he was going to explode in anger when Usagi smacked him on the back of the head with an empty silver tray. "They're obviously making that up, Tamaki-sempai," she said, rolling their eyes, "And by the way, that picture was photo-shopped."
"But if they had the time to do that, the least they could do was use this picture instead," Tamaki said in a tearful voice, showing a photo of a pink frilly dress.
"Why not have her model in it for real?" the twins asked, shrugging their shoulders.
Tamaki looked at Usagi with begging puppy dog eyes; if Usagi had done it, it would've looked cute, but for Tamaki, it just looked plain annoying. Usagi frowned at him and said straight out, "No way," causing him to sulk in the corner.
Hikaru and Kaoru sighed deeply as they slouched in the armchairs they were sitting in. "There's nothing to do," they whined. Glancing at Usagi, they asked, "Can we go to your house?"
"No," was the short but straight out reply.
"Can we spread a rumor about you and a boy?"
Getting annoyed, Usagi shouted, "Hell no! What do you two take me for?" causing the others stare at her for cursing for the first time.
The twins glanced at each other for a quick second before smirking at Usagi. "Why, a toy, of course," they said.
Then the hosts and one hostess heard an eerie creaking and turned to see a cloaked figure sticking its head into the room. "For great toys, come to the Black Magic Club," came a mysterious voice, "If you come, you'll get a limited time Beelzenef voodoo doll." He held up a yellow cat shaped puppet and waved side to side gently with a somewhat creepy smile on his face
Usagi stared at him, wondering when that door was installed in when the only exit and entrance of the room was the front door and why he was shying away from the room, sticking with the shadows behind the door. Kyoya noticed her confused expression and introduced him, "That's Umehito Nekozawa from class 3-A. He tends to avoid the light."
"You must avoid that man at all costs," Tamaki said in a gloomy voice as he looms behind the surprised rabbit, "If you're anywhere near him, you'll get cursed." Tamaki went on to say the bad things that had happened after stepping on the upperclassman's precious doll with Kyoya correcting him that the events were done by his own careless.
Hikaru and Kaoru, being their bored selves, took it upon themselves to entertain themselves using a single flashlight…and TERRORIZED the cloaked man by flashing the light into his face. In a somewhat comical way, Umehito ran out of the room, screaming about murderers, back to his sanctuary of darkness. Now with nothing else to do, Hikaru and Kaoru got bored once more and began to hang onto Usagi like two little monkeys, annoying her to play with them or at least let them go to her house.
Usagi glared at them as she said, "I thought I told you guys 'no'."
"Then how about this?" Kaoru said, putting a hat over his head. Hikaru wore another hat of the same color as he said, "If you can't figure out which one is who…" Then together as they spun around to mix their positions, almost like those games at a carnival of guessing which cup hides the ball, they stopped and said together, "…then you'll have to take us to your house."
"This again?" Usagi wondered, "Don't they have anything better to do?" Turning around with her eyes closed, Usagi replied, "Right is Hikaru and left is Kaoru." Just as the twins were about to lie and say that she was wrong, Usagi turned around with a smile on her face. "Don't even think about telling me that I'm wrong. You two, more than anybody else, know that even if you look the same, it doesn't mean that you're exactly the same in every other way." The twins stared at her flabbergasted as she walked away.
"Ne, Bunny-chan, I know that you can tell the difference between the twins by the way they part their hair," one of the girls said, "But is there another way to tell them apart?" The surrounding girls heard that and all wanted to know as well.
Usagi looked up at the ceiling to think about it. "I guess that you could say that Hikaru's words and actions are a bit more evil than Kaoru's," she said.
Kaoru covered his mouth, trying to stifle his laughter. "Gomen Hikaru," he apologized, but just burst out laughing, ignoring the irritated look on his brother's face.
Hikaru just looked away as if he didn't care about what was just said. "Well, I'm just being more sincere and letting people know what I truly think unlike you Kaoru, who's a complete hypocrite. Being evil is more of your forte."
Kaoru glared at his brother before looking away. "Don't compare me to you, Hikaru. I'm the one who has to tolerate your stubbornness everyday." He took several steps away from him. "Even if I was the one who came up with the plans, you're always the first one who wants to carry them out. Despite calling her a toy," he glanced over at Hikaru at the corner of his eyes, "you really like Usagi, don't you?"
Tamaki and Hikaru's jaw dropped as they both screamed at the top of their lungs. "WHAT!"
"Are you insane, Kaoru?" Hikaru screamed.
Tamaki stood between the twins and nodded his head furiously. "That's right, there are certain things you shouldn't say, Kaoru."
"Why in the world would I fall for a pipsqueak like her?" Hikaru demanded to know.
Tamaki turned to Hikaru, pointing at him. "Who are you calling a pipsqueak?"
Renge popped out from behind the audience as she stood above everything on her podium. "It's beautiful," she said. She pressed her hands together as stars shone in her eyes. "It's a love square with a male harem fighting over a princess! What could be more perfect than a dramatic fight for a heart!"
The twins glared at Renge and shouted, "Get lost, otaku!"
Renge dropped to the floor, sobbing. "How cruel…how can you be so cruel to your manager like this?'
Ignoring her, the twins just glared at each other as arguments went back and forth. "You suck at math." "Well, you need to focus more on language skills." "You always sneak into my bed and you hog the blankets." "Well that's because you're always so scared to sleep by yourself." "Idiot." "Dumbass." "Pervert." "Sicko." The two stared hard at each other before saying at the exact same time, "That's it, we're through."
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"I can't wait until Luna gives birth, Usagi-chan," Minako said, "Artemis is going to be a daddy. My baby boy's all grown up."
Usagi laughed as she said, "If Artemis is your baby boy then Luna's my baby girl since we both got them when they were just kittens."
"Ohayo, Usagi." Usagi and Minako turned around and their jaw dropped as everybody in the classroom and in the hallway stared at Hikaru in shock. Standing there was a proud Hikaru with shock pink hair.
Usagi stared at him shock. She lifted a finger and pointed to him as she said in a disbelief tone, "Hikaru, your hair…"
"Yup." Hikaru smiled proudly at himself. "Now, there's no way that anyone can mistaken me for what's-his-name."
"Are you even allowed to dye your hair like that?" she shouted, causing Hikaru to fall down. "I'm surprised that a teacher didn't even yell at you for that." Minako burst out laughing at her exclamation.
"That's the only thing that crosses her mind," Hikaru thought with a chuckle.
"Ohayo, Usagi-chan," Kaoru said, walking into the classroom. Just like his brother, he too dyed his hair, only his was a pale blue color. He stared at his brother, who got back up to his feet and headed towards his seat. With a smirk, he hurried over to Usagi, who had gotten over her shock and decided to ignore their antics, and said, "I had a horrible nightmare last night where I dyed my hair in a horrible shade of PINK. No idea what in the world would make me do something as disgusting as that."
Just as he was about to sit down, Hikaru pulled his brother's chair away under him, causing him to fall to the floor. Just as her comment the other day sparked the fight; the minute Kaoru fell to the floor, he grabbed his brother's chair and pulled it, knocking Hikaru's head against the wall. Then came the bloody war between the countries of Kaoru and Hikaru, both areas being bombed by anything the boys can get their hands on, from chairs to tables.
Everybody looked at Usagi with pity as she was the one sitting right between the twins. Usagi just sighed in annoyance as she watched the items fly over her head. "This is much more worse than Hotaru and Shingo having an argument," she sighed.
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During lunch, it wasn't any better. Just as Usagi was going to sneak over to the elementary school, Hikaru and Kaoru each grabbed her arm and pulled her to the cafeteria, still wanting her to continue being the buffer between them. Minako, not wanting to be left behind, followed after them. Everybody watched in amazement as what ever the twins had ordered were exactly alike, despite the combinations of different lunches.
Usagi tried to hold in her laughter as she watched Hunny get in the middle the fight with what appeared to be his ideal solution for any problem, cake. Unfortunately, that just annoyed the twins when Hunny decided he too wanted a piece of cake. Not meaning to be cruel, Usagi burst into giggles when the twins threw the cake at Hunnny's head, not noticing several boys staring at her in a daze.
"What's with all the racket over here?" Tamaki asked as he led the other members of the host club into the cafeteria. He spotted Usagi and hurriedly rushed towards her like a dog excited to see its master. "Usagi, I didn't know you're here too," Tamaki said happily.
The shorter blonde could imagine a dog tail wagging on Tamaki. "I usually eat with Shingo and Hotaru since I always pack the three of us obento(1)." She lifted up a square box wrapped in a pink handkerchief with white bunnies all over it.
"Obento?" at the sound of that, everybody stared at her. The girls imagined her as a hardworking mother in the future making obento and handing them to little girls and boys that look oddly like her. While the boys were imagining her making those obento for them, not that they'll say it out loud in fear of the host club members.
Usagi sat down at one of the tables Hikaru was waving her to. Hikaru eyed her lunch box and then his lunch on the tray. "What's in your lunch box?' he asked.
Usagi unwrap the box. "Just some rice and leftovers from last night's dinner," she replied.
"Cool. You wanna switch lunch with me?" Hikaru asked. Usagi stared at him suspiciously. He quickly smiled and said, "It's just that, I don't like this combination." Without even waiting for a reply, Hikaru took her lunch box and gave her his tray.
Usagi stared at the food on the tray, wondering if it was all right for her to eat it. With all the pressure everyone was giving her with their stares, Usagi took a fork and lifted a piece of meat into her mouth. "Reminds me of mama and Mako-chan's cooking," she thought to herself. Her eyes glazed over as she recalled her mother who would make delicious food for her and her father to eat before she was in the hospital and one of her best friends, who's inspiring to be the world's greatest chef. Everybody just stared at her and sighed happily as they watched her smile gently.
Minako sat down across from her and sighed. "Why are you always the one gets free stuff all the time?" Minako asked. Usagi shrugged her shoulders as she kept the fork in her mouth, savoring the flavor.
Kaoru sat down beside Usagi with a grin on his face. "Does it taste good, Usagi?" he asked, "Why don't you have a taste of my food?" He lifted a spoonful of stew and tilted her head. "Say 'ahhhh'." All the girls squealed once more as they imagined the picture as two lovers feeding each other.
Minako and Usagi just watched as Hikaru leaned over and took the food instead, starting another war, this time throwing bits of food and eating utensils at each other. Getting annoyed, Tamaki shouted at the twins telling them to stop, only to get retaliated with a fork thrown at him. Falling back limbo style, Tamaki avoided the fork only to have the object land in a bowl of soup of the person behind them. Unfortunately, that person just so happened to be the vice principal, who was clearly upset with the lost of his meal which was splattered all over his face, clothes, and the table. The two blondes watched as the twins framed Tamaki for what they did and the vice principal reprimanding him for "his" irresponsible behavior.
As his punishment, the entire host club was forced into cleaning up the entire cafeteria. And when I mention entire, I meant everybody except for the twins, since right after school was over, they continued their fight elsewhere. Because they were so use to having servants clean up after their mess, the male members were exhausted as they sat down, Usagi and Minako seemed completely use to it.
"Ne, Usa-chan, Mina-chan, how come you're not tired?" Hunny asked. He was sprawled across the table as his brown eyes stare at the two girls curiously.
"Well, we've been in a public school in grammar and junior high," Minako replied with Usagi finishing up, "And in the public schools, it's the students' responsibilities to clean up the place at the end of the day."
"What I don't understand is that why is it that the twins start something and we're the ones who had to suffer the consequences," Tamaki said, also sprawled on the table.
Kyoya leaned against the chair as he examined the calculator in hand. "If those two continue like this, then we're going to have to cancel the brotherly love session, but if we do that, then the ratings along with the profits will go down. I'll have to find something to penalize them if that happens. Oh, Usagi…" Usagi stood up right immediately, wondering if it would be added to her debt. "Don't worry about a thing. You won't be responsible for all this, even if it was your comment that sparked this," he said, giving her that smile that says that he's angry but not plotting your death.
Mori handed Hunny a slice of cake as he walked to put the equipment away. "You know, this is the first time that Hikaru and Kaoru fought before," he said softly, "I've known them since kindergarten, not that we talked, but they were always playing by themselves somewhere in a corner."
"I've known them since junior high, the two of them were always close to each other and refused to participate with anybody else. It's like they don't want people to intrude into their small world," Tamaki said. He smiled at Usagi and patted her gently on the head. "Maybe it's a good thing that they're fighting now. Doesn't that mean that their world is slowly expanding?"
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"I CHANGE MY MIND!" Tamaki shouted as he chased after the twins, who were running away from him. The chase outside had started when Tamaki accidentally started several traps set by the twins, which coincidentally were the same. "Come back here so I can spank you(2)!" he shouted.
Usagi watched as Tamaki ran after the twins, both still fighting with each other while trying to outrun their predator. "If this is their first time fighting, there should be an arbitrator watching over them," she thought silently. She turned around and began to walk outsides, ignoring the eyes of the upperclassmen.
She thought back to the times when Hotaru and Shingo first fought. It was after the first month Hotaru lived with them after her parents' deaths. Shingo tried his best to help Hotaru fit in and cheer her up, but the young girl only wanted to be left alone and stare at the picture of her parents. Finally getting fed up, Shingo ended up complaining to her and Hotaru snapped. The two continued to argue until they finally said that they wished they never met. Usagi and her father had been watching by the sidelines. This was the first time that the two had argued with each other, shocking enough since they were never this disagreeable with anybody before. Usagi and her father decided to step back until the two realize that their fight was over something very silly. It wasn't until a week went by and the two still ignored each other and refused to be in the same room with one another that her and her father took them and talked through them.
Usagi and company arrived outside at the scene where Hikaru and Kaoru were yelling at each other, telling how much they hated the similarities between them. Kaoru then grabbed the cat shaped doll Nekozawa-sempai was trying to give away earlier and threatened to write his brother's name on it. Usagi's blue eyes narrowed. This was getting ridiculous, not even the fight Hotaru and Shingo had with each other all those years ago was this bad.
Usagi stomped over to them as Kaoru wrote Hikaru's name on it. Reaching behind, she somehow grabbed a large wooden hammer out of nowhere and swung it in the air. "That's…enough!" she shouted, lowering the hammer on their heads during the pause.
Everyone stared at her, wondering, "Just where did she get that hammer?"
"Why in the world are the two of you still fighting? Dragging something like that into the quarrel. Don't you two know that you're causing trouble for everyone around you, which is making the matter much worse! You two better apologize to everyone and make up or I'll never invite you to my home ever!" she shouted.
The twins' head were staring down at the ground and both were sporting orange-sized bumps where Usagi had hit them. They began to chuckle as they slowly lifted their heads up with giant smirks on their faces. "So…does this mean that if we make up, you'll invite us over?" they asked at the same time. They both lifted up what they were holding, Kaoru the doll with the word bakamono(3) written on it besides Hikaru's name, and Hikaru holding a small stack of paper, supposing to be a script.
"You mean to tell me that you planned this whole thing?" Usagi whispered, staring at the two twins, who were throwing their arms around each other as they apologized for hurting the other's feelings and not for troubling others. She sighed and leaned her head into her hand. "Why did I bother?" she muttered.
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"Ta-dah! It's time for the 'Which one is Hikaru?' game!" the twins shouted, still keeping their hair dyed in the color they chose when they were arguing.
One of their customers laughed as she replied," The one with pink hair is Hikaru."
"Correct!" the twins shouted, as they planted kisses on the girls' hands as rewards.
"Are you sure about that?" Usagi asked. She was walking by when she heard the answer. Everybody around that table turned to her as she smiled gently. "I was pretty sure that you switched colors, so isn't Kaoru pink today?" With that she walked away offering tea to the other customers with their eyes staring at her.
"Usagi sure does see through us, doesn't she?" Hikaru asked his brother, who nodded his head as he asked back, "Let's adopt her into our family. She could be our sister or daughter." "Mother with the way she acts around us," was the reply. The twins just stared at the back of the girl walking away, the very first to distinguish the twins as separate individuals and not one entity.
(1) Obento is a type of lunch box served with rice, fish or meat, and one or more pickled or cooked vegetables as a side dish
(2) No, Tamaki is not being a pervert, he's actually playing the role of a father trying or at least wanting to discipline his child. Unfortunately he's unable to catch them.
(3) Bakamono pretty much means stupid person.