Chapter 7 my lovelies :) review!
"Thank you for meeting me here." Beth sat down at the table across from her graduate school advisor and mentor, Dr. Morris. They were at a tiny cafe where people came to drown themselves in homework, coffee, and over-priced pastries.
"Of course, but what was so urgent that you needed to see me on a Sunday?" Dr. Morris adjusted his shirt as Beth removed sunglasses.
Beth blew out a deep breath. "I- don't think I can tell you the details. But I want to know, hypothetically, how much trouble someone would be in if they agreed to participate in an illegal activity because they would be threatened otherwise?" Beth rushed out.
"Whoa, wait. Is this really hypothetical or is there actually something going on with you, Beth?" Dr. Morris folded his newspaper in half.
Licking her lips, Beth looked down at her lap. "You know how doctors and patients have that confidentiality agreement? A doctor cannot share a patient's medical information with anyone unless given permission."
"I am vaguely aware of that," Morris rolled his eyes in sarcasm. "How is that pertinent to what's going on now?"
"Could we maybe have something like that between us? Because, I really need someone I can trust and who I can talk to if something goes badly, but they cannot tell anyone else anything." Beth raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"I think I would have to know what the situation is before I agree to anything of the sort," Morris replied decidedly.
"But, I can't tell you if you're going to rat me out to someone else!"
"It's pretty clear that it might be what's best for you." Dr. Morris was stubborn. Brilliant, but stubborn.
Beth regretted coming. She had opened this doorway for an innumerable amount of questions and she knew that Morris wasn't going to let it go. At the same time, she really needed someone she trusted to be aware of what she was getting into, just in case. She couldn't go to Carl because that dude would flat out tell her to stay away from it all, even if it put she herself at risk. He was a fucking good and frustrating friend like that.
So Beth lied, but not entirely. "I finally decided what I want to write my dissertation on," she blurted out.
Morris's brow crinkled in confusion. "That's great but, again, what does that have to do with anything?"
Beth went for it. "The topic I'm writing about, it's still in the rough stages, but um..." She wrung her hands under the table. "I found a way to get involved in very hands-on research." Beth smirked inwardly at the extended meaning.
"And?" Morris motioned with his wrinkled hand.
"It's a little bit dangerous, I guess you could say. Or potentially so. I just need someone to touch base with to ensure that I'm still alive, you know?" Beth tried to choke out a laugh.
"Beth, no brilliant topic is worth getting hurt over. What are you getting into?"
"I sort of met some street fighters, and since I've already decided that I'm interested in criminal psychology, I thought it would be a good opportunity," Beth breathed out. "They won't hurt me," she added. Beth wasn't really lying; if she agreed to fight with them then it was the other fighters, the unknowns that could hurt her. "But I know it's a dangerous environment, and if I could just email you occasionally and let you know how it's going, I know it would make me feel a lot better."
"I don't know, Beth..." Dr. Morris leaned his chin into his hand, rubbing at the skin there in contemplation. "You can trust these people?"
Beth gulped. "I'm going to try to earn their trust. I'll have to if I want the research that I need."
She was fucked. Not only was she possibly signing her life away to be a law-breaker, but now she had to do school work on top of it.
"The second anything goes wrong, you tell me. Text me before you meet up with them, text me after you leave. I won't tell anyone about this, but I want you to talk with me through the process."
"R-really?" Beth asked, eyes wide. "You approve of this?" Beth had to remind herself that she had not just asked Morris if he thought it was a good idea to fight, but rather to write a paper about fighting.
"We have limited research in the psychology behind street fighting. It could really open up some doors for you, and for the department. I think that if you really believe you are able to do this, then you should give it a shot." Morris took a quick sip of his coffee. "I have to get going. Beth, I'm trusting you to not get yourself into a precarious situation."
Beth just nodded, entirely confused by the trajectory of the conversation that had just taken place. That wasn't how she had planned it at all.
She watched Morris leave through the door and she couldn't help but think about how precarious a situation she was already in. But she had a choice. She could voluntarily put herself in the way of a danger that she knew; choosing to fight with Merle and his crew. Or she could face the unknown threats to her and those around her by denying the demand to join up.
At least she had a trustworthy adult that was vaguely aware of what she was surrounding herself with. If the shit hit the fan, she could call on Dr. Morris. It wasn't much of a comfort, but it was something.
"Damn," Beth whispered and ran a nervous hand through her hair. The clock was ticking; the weekend was close to over. She had to decide, and she had to do it right then.
As Beth walked back to her apartment, her jacket pulled tight around her in the fading sun, she pulled out her phone with her cold fingers. She scrolled through the names in her contacts before finding the one that she had to call, the one that was surely expecting her.
"Hello?" the familiar voice answered.
"Hey, it's Beth. Can you meet me somewhere for a little bit?"
"It's fuckin' freezin' out 'ere," Daryl complained as he came to join Beth on the bench at his favorite park.
"My sister is home, so," Beth offered in way of explanation.
"We couldn' have gon' fer coffee?" Daryl tried.
"I don't want to get cozy and make this a big thing," Beth replied dryly.
Daryl rolled his eyes. "Fine, then let's make it quick. What do ya want?"
Beth narrowed his eyes at him. "You know what's up. Kind of working out a huge decision right now."
Daryl flicked his finger back and forth against his chapped lips. "Ya, I guess I do."
"How bad is it going to be if I say no?" Beth asked in a whisper.
Daryl stretched his legs out in front of him and sighed deeply. "I've seen it git pretty bad. Merle, he ain't a terrible guy. He jus' wants what he wants, an' he don' stop until he gits it."
"Yeah, sounds like a real model citizen," Beth scoffed.
"He ain't bad if he's on yer side. Really. I actually think he fuckin' cares 'bout us," Daryl's voice did not hide his surprise. "But when ya stand in the way o' what he wants, it gits pretty bad." Daryl looked over at Beth, worry present in his eyes.
"So, you're saying I should agree."
"I didn' say that. The choice is yers, Beth." Daryl held up a hand. "I told ya, if ya don' wan' ta do it; I'll make sure he don' hurt ya."
"How the hell are you going to do that?" Beth challenged.
Daryl laughed bitterly. "I ain't gotta fuckin' clue. But I'll try my best, ya know?"
"And what about his threats against the people in my life? How will you protect us all at once?" Beth pestered, disbelieving.
Daryl bit his lower lip and looked down at where his finger was tracing an absentminded circle on the knee of his jeans. "I guess I wouldn' be able ta."
"So, you admit you're not superman, good. At least there's something realistic and believable about this whole circumstance." Beth shook her head.
Daryl chuckled. "Ya really feisty. I honestly think ya be good, Priss."
"Don't you call me that, too!" Beth protested.
"Ya gotta have a stage name, darlin'. I think it suits ya." Daryl shrugged.
"It makes me sound weak."
"'Exactly. Nobody will see what's a comin' when they fight ya."
Beth pursed her lips and thought this over. "I guess you're right. I am sort of unpredictable."
"Ya, ya are," Daryl said quietly, and Beth looked over to meet her eyes. Their faces were so close to each other and Beth didn't know when they had come to be that way. In the few seconds that they remained like that, their lips started to move toward each other. Like magnets.
"Is this going to be a problem?" Beth backed up quickly and motioned between the two of them, her voice shaky.
Daryl let his gaze drop to Beth's chest for a moment before reaching her eyes once again. "Not if we don' let it be. Meetin' in a fuckin' cold park was a good idea. Nothin' 'bout this environment makes me want ta remove any clothin'." Daryl laughed but moved a little further away.
Beth nodded in agreement but then had a thought. "But what about when I'm fighting? What if I get hot and sweaty while I beat the hell out of someone?" Beth's words surprised her. She was using the prospect of fighting as a form of flirting.
"Then I'm jus' goin' ta have ta find someone ta fight, too, ta keep my mind off o' ya," Daryl smirked but it was strained. "We'll be fine. We can make it work. I promise I won' take advantage o' ya."
"How are you actually a good guy underneath all of the assholery and mystery?" Beth asked before thinking.
Daryl glared. "I don' claim ta be anythin' otha' than what I am. Somedays I'm more o' an asshole than others. It jus' so happens that ya don' piss me off as much as otha' people. Which is surprisin' 'cause ya never seem ta shut up."
Beth chuckled and playfully punched Daryl in the arm.
"Hey, now, we don' fight each other," Daryl teased. "'sides, yet holdin' yer fist wrong."
Beth held her breath as Daryl's firm hand closed over her own gloved one, carefully positioning the fingers.
"I know how to punch," Beth protested, but only barely.
"Mostly," Daryl replied. "But if ya hold it like this," Daryl let go of Beth's hand and then put his own fist in the same position, "ya inflict the most damage without receivin' as much."
Beth looked at Daryl and then at her fist, suddenly freaking out and doubting her skill. "What if I need somebody to train me? I'm not ready to fight for real," Beth asked, panicking.
"Merle will take care o' all of that. Don' worry." Daryl waved his hand in dismissal.
"You think I should say yes?"
"I think, it ain't my decision," Daryl retorted, frustratingly.
"I think I don't have much of a choice. But thank you, you've made me feel a bit better. Like I'm not going to die, or something."
"That's always nice ta hear," Daryl laughed.
"I'm gonna call him," Beth decided.
"Ya should text, instead. He ain't a big phone person," Daryl advised.
"That's easier, actually. He won't be able to hear my voice crack and transcend into another octave when I say 'yes'," Beth poked fun of herself as she pulled out her phone and sent the very text that would change her life.
-It's Priss. I'm in.
"Did ya take a likin' ta yer nickname?" Daryl read over her shoulder with a smirk.
Beth hid her phone from view; she loathed it when people read over her shoulder. "It's better than Dixon."
"Dixon is a bad ass name," Daryl huffed.
"How'd you get it, anyway?" Beth asked with a slight smile as she awaited Merle's reply.
"It's my last name."
"Daryl Dixon..."
"Ya."
Beth's face began to turn white as they were clouded with silence.
"What's wrong?" Daryl broke the silence with a whisper.
"You haven't...ever killed anybody during a fight, have you?"
"We don' ever fight ta the death, Beth," Daryl said very seriously.
"Not like you need to tell me. That's the last thing I want on my hands. Ewww-" Beth had a sudden moment of realization, "i'm gonna get blood and stuff on my hands, aren't I?"
Daryl laughed and rested his hands on his knees. "It's very possible. But blood washes off."
"Yeah, on the outside," Beth murmured, thinking of how she would never be able to fully atone for the damage she might cause someone.
"That's all that matters, what people can see," Daryl whispered.
"I have dozens of psychology books that beg to differ."
"I guess that's pro'bly true," Daryl gave up with a slight shrug of his shoulder and lit a cigarette. "But in this case, it's all that matters. Okay?"
Beth looked at Daryl's troubled expression and slowly nodded. "Okay."
Her phone buzzed and she looked down at it nervously.
-I had a feeling you'd say yes, kid. Text me tomorrow and I'll give you the place we're all going to meet tomorrow night.
Beth wrote back a quick reply and then dropped her head in her hands. "Dammit. What did I just do?" She asked herself but Daryl answered.
"Ya made the safest decision ya could when placed wit' two shitty options. It'll be fine."
Beth peeked out from between her fingers. "You know, you're surprisingly insightful," she mused.
"Don' tell anyone," Daryl replied with a grin, blowing smoke through his nose.
"Okay but you have to promise not to smile at me while I'm fighting. It's distracting," Beth admitted without her brain's permission.
Daryl's smile dropped. "Stop treatin' me like I'm a girl. Yer the one who's distractin'."
Beth bit her lip. "Yeah? How so?"
Daryl shook his head. "We ain't goin' there," he reprimanded. "Listen, I literally can' feel anythin' on my body. I think I'm goin' ta head off. Ya sure ya don' want that cup o' coffee?"
"Nope. Too cozy an environment," Beth repeated. "But I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Ya be seein' me a lot," Daryl corrected as he stood up.
Beth came to a standing position as well and in the process dropped his phone that was sitting on her lap. It epically shattered to pieces on the ground. "Shit, shit, shit," Beth groaned, dropping to her knees at the sight of the massacre.
"Oh, damn. That sucks," Daryl winced.
"God, yes it does. I can't afford another phone right now and it's not under warranty," Beth pitied herself.
Daryl crouched down next to her and helped her try to salvage the pieces of her once companion. "Ya be able ta afford a new phone really soon. A much nicer one," Daryl said quietly.
Beth looked at him. "That's wild."
"Ya git used ta it," Daryl smiled. "In the meantime, I'll jus' come by an' grab ya 'fore we meet up wit' Merle, tomorrow. It'll be late at night."
"Won't he be suspicious if we show up together?" Beth questioned, putting the scraps of her phone in her pocket.
"There's nothin' ta be suspicious o'," Daryl shrugged and stared at Beth carefully. "Right?"
"Right. Totally," Beth replied much too fast.
Daryl laughed. "I'll jus' drop by tomorrow night."
"But what about my sister?" Beth suddenly remembered. "She's usually home at night."
Daryl rolled his eyes. "I can already tell that gurl is goin' ta git on my nerves. Fine, meet me at the coffee shop on yer street at ten tomorrow night."
"But, but, too cozy, Daryl!" Beth sputtered, blushing at how it came out.
"Yer jus' gonna have ta deal wit' me in a cozy place. Practice yer resistance. It'll come in handy fer a lot o' things," Daryl smirked. "See ya tomorrow, darlin." He held his hand up in farewell without looking back over his shoulder.
A lot had changed for Beth in the short period of a day. But what was most troubling to her was that Daryl was turning out to be a kind of likable guy. This whole to do would have been a lot simpler if he was a dick who was easy to hate. As Beth walked, cellphone-less and vulnerable, she thought of one person who could help chill her out in that moment.
"Beth? Hey! I didn't know you were coming by." Carl opened the door with a huge grin and a lizard on his shoulder.
"Yeah, my phone is busted so I couldn't call. Looks like Larry is doing well," Beth said nervously as she stared at the reptile.
"Ahh, Larry is always good. What's up, though?" Carl opened the door to let Beth in.
"I was wondering if we could just...hang out. I don't really want to be alone right now."
Carl shut the door and looked at her with concern. "Is everything okay?"
Beth gave a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. You wouldn't really understand...girl things." She flicked her hand in the air with the lie.
Carl bit his lip before it split into a wide grin. "What the fuck do I know? I'm going to smoke!"
Beth was splayed out on the floor, her head touching Carl's. Thankfully, Larry had been placed back into his cage after Beth's intense paranoia of him had become obvious.
"Do you think I'm tough, Carl?" Beth lazily asked.
"Hm? Tough? I dunno. You're kind of delicate and shit," Carl yawned and stretched, bumping Beth's shoulder with his hand.
"Yeah but, do you think I could win in a fight?" Beth rambled on.
"Is this about the fight we watched the other night?" Carl suddenly sat up. "No fucking way! Those cuts and bruises you had after that night...did you get in a fight?"
"How do you know my soul so well?" Beth replied in a sing-song voice and sat up cross-legged. "I totally kicked a guy's ass."
"Beth, that's really dumb," Carl said seriously but then started cracking up. "Dude, I can't picture it."
Beth nodded excitedly. "I can't either! You just don't even know! I surprised myself and the rest of the guys. It was so coooool," Beth held out the last word and then coughed when she ran out of air.
"Why share all of this with me? If Maggie found out, she would shit a brick." Carl narrowed his blurry eyes.
"You won't tell her, right? She would be livid," Beth pleaded.
"Nah, your secret is safe with me and Larry." Beth cringed at the mention of the lizard. "Why do you hate Larry so much?" Carl tried not to pout, but failed.
"I don't hate him! I just...green things. They freak me out, okay."
"All green things?" Carl asked with wide and alarmed eyes.
"Most of them, probably," Beth responded nonchalantly. "So, what if I fought some more?"
"What if you just jumped in front of a train?" Carl shot back. "That's stupid."
"So are drugs, Carl," Beth challenged.
"Yeah, but at least I won't get my nose broken by doing drugs. Except for that one time that I sort of fell down the stairs because I thought I was flying," Carl recalled.
"Would you watch me fight?" Beth was being entirely too candid about the truth.
Carl rubbed his eyes. "If you were good, maybe. Wouldn't want to see you get all fucked up."
"You're fucked up, right now," Beth teased and they both started laughing. "Enough talk of fights! I must get back to the homestead before Maggie starts to worry like the girl that she is. Can you text her and tell her my phone broke and I'm on the way?"
Carl nodded and looked like he was about to fall asleep.
"Thanks for distracting me," Beth smiled as she stood up like a newborn horse, falling into the couch.
"Anytime. I'll see if I can get like a red jacket for Larry. So he won't be so green, you know," Carl offered what he thought was a brilliant plan.
"'Kay, sounds great!" Beth lied.
The cold air was enough to relinquish Beth from his second hand buzz and distraction. She noticed that she was hyperaware when she passed alleys and corners of buildings; waiting for someone to jump out. She hadn't really thought about it before, but in joining forces with Merle, she automatically made herself new enemies. Ones that she had never even encountered before. They would all know who she was; she wasn't the type that could blend into a crowd. She ducked her head and walked faster, hoping that she really had made the safer decision out of the two