So today I wrote Chapter 216. And I'm bummed right now because I can't post it until like... November. Because I'm in the process of writing a sequel for it too and it's killing me because it's heartbreaking and sad and I've cried writing this damn thing. And I wish I could share it, but I can't yet. Oh, and for anybody who wanted the aftermath of the Karofsky chapter (read: everybody), it's in progress. And it's painful to write. And I don't know how it's going to finish yet. But you will get it, promise!
Also, I applied for five jobs today. Those of you who have prayed for me in the past (which I hugely appreciate), please pray that I get something soon.
A special shout out to 25butterbeers who left me a review that honestly made me cry. I love you too :)
Finally, I mentioned last chapter that I was five, and someone wanted to know how old I really am. I'm offended, do you not think a five year old possesses this much talent? *preens* ... right, anyway, I'm actually eighteen and a half :)
Kat3418: after the WIGYA fiasco, Kurt feels low right? then with the BIOA I'd think he really feels hurt by Blaine and so they argue as they did in the episode, but what if Blaine after avoiding/ignoring Kurt for a week or some significant period of time, overhears Kurt singing after warbler practice (song Winner At A Losing Game by Rascal Flatts) and its THEN he gets his overdue epiphany about Kurt and resolves to get his Kurtie before Kurt really and truly throws the towel in on Blaine.
This is the first time I've had someone actually request a song. Made my life easier! ;) and I've done tonight's chapter with the song in the same format as I do when writing Edge of Glory with Angela. Let me know which one you prefer!
Losing
Blaine sighed, scuffing his shoes along the ground as he made his way back down to the choir room. His mind had been all over the place lately, so forgetting his sheet music wasn't a surprise, merely another inconvenience he had to deal with.
He hadn't spoken to Kurt since their argument a few days ago, and it was like a knife to the chest every time he saw his friend and knew his stupid pride wouldn't let him talk to him. He didn't want to be mad at Kurt, but it was a matter of principle and he didn't want to be the one to cave and let Kurt get his way. Especially with how confused Blaine was at the moment.
His date with Rachel had been the previous night and while he had definitely had fun with her, there was something missing. Maybe it was that spark that others had talked about, but he only seemed to see her as a friend. But he wasn't going to give in and say it was because she was a girl - even if he had a sneaking suspicion that it was a contributing factor. Instead, he decided it was just that she was the wrong person.
But now Blaine was feeling even more miserable. He had no boyfriend, no girlfriend, and no best friend to complain about it all to. Maybe it's time to throw in the towel and apologize to Kurt, he deliberated as he neared the choir room.
"Baby, look at me here,
Have you ever seen me this way?"
Blaine paused outside the door which was slightly ajar as Kurt's voice rang out loud and clear from inside the room. He thought Kurt had left before him, but clearly not.
"I've been fumblin' for words,
Through the tears and the hurt and the pain,"
Blaine felt his heart sink at the words. He had seen the look on Kurt's face when he thought nobody else was paying attention; the look of hurt and loneliness. And yet he had done nothing about it, too self-involved to care about his friend who was clearly upset.
"I'm gonna lay it all out on the line tonight,
And I think that it's time to tell this uphill fight goodbye."
Is he giving up on our friendship? Blaine wanted to run in and apologize right there and then and sort the whole mess out, but the next lines had him frozen in place.
"Have you ever had to love someone that just don't feel the same?
Trying to make somebody care for you the way I do is like trying to catch the rain
And if love is really forever, I'm a winner at a losing game."
Blaine felt his legs give way and he sank to the floor, trying to keep his emotions in check as he comprehended the words being sunk. Kurt loves me?
But of course it all made sense. The way Kurt was so upset by Blaine thinking he might not be gay and being interested in Rachel of all people - Kurt had told him the story of essentially losing Finn to Rachel and to have the same thing happen with Blaine was probably more than the younger boy could take. And it was as Kurt's voice flowed out of the door and straight into Blaine's heart that it hit him. What had been missing with Rachel wasn't the 'spark', it was the person. The fact that his friendship wasn't right with Kurt was what ruined his date.
Come to think of it, Blaine realized, he had spent the whole night thinking about Kurt. Any time Rachel spoke about the latest song she had performed, Blaine had thought of Kurt singing it - though at the time he had justified it to himself as their ranges being similar. And when they went to get coffee, Blaine had to stop himself from ordering for Kurt after his own order had been placed.
"Sometimes two hearts just can't dance to the same beat,
So I'll pack up my things and I'll take what remains of me,"
All it took was Blaine's gut-wrenching response to those lines to cement it for him. It's Kurt. It's always been Kurt.
"I know that I'll never be the man that you need or love,
Yeah, baby it's killing me to stand here and see,
I'm not what you've been dreaming of,"
Blaine stood and silently stepped into the doorway, pushing the door open slightly to see Kurt standing with his back to him, singing the last few lines with everything he had. And the way his voice wavered slightly told Blaine that he was crying.
"If love is really forever, I'm a winner at a losing game,
I'm tired of losing."
Kurt sniffed, reaching up to wipe his face and Blaine took another step into the room.
"Time to give up, Kurt," the boy whispered to himself. "He's never going to love you back."
"You're wrong."
Kurt spun and Blaine felt the guilt tear through him as he saw his tear-streaked face. He took advantage of Kurt's stunned silence to keep talking. "Kurt, I've been an idiot, and I was actually going to come and tell you the same thing before I heard the song. I owe you a huge apology."
Kurt bit his lip and Blaine saw his eyes dart to the door. He wanted to move closer but didn't want to push Kurt into feeling confronted. "I had my date with Rachel last night and I spent the whole time thinking about you, and I couldn't work out why for the life of me until I heard you sing."
He chanced another step closer to Kurt who was watching him warily, but with a cautious hope beginning to spread across his face. "You -" Blaine felt his words leave him as he just stared at the boy across from him. "Kurt, I - please don't give up."
"Why not?" Kurt's voice was soft and thoughtful, and Blaine could see in his eyes that he knew what was coming next, he just needed to hear it from Blaine.
"Because it's you. I - I love you. And I wish I'd realized sooner before I made a complete mess of things, and Kurt, I don't even deserve you after what I've put you through, but I do."
Blaine ducked his head in the silence of the room, feeling more vulnerable than ever before. He couldn't bear to look at Kurt because even though he knew he felt the same, Blaine still didn't deserve him.
"Really?"
Kurt's voice came to him, quietly but surely and Blaine lifted his head to see him stepping closer. As soon as he nodded, a pair of lips were pressed against his and his eyes flickered shut, losing himself in the sensation of Kurt Hummel kissing him...
And then Kurt Hummel wasn't kissing him. With a sigh, Blaine opened his eyes to see Kurt smiling like Christmas and his birthday had come all at once. "So, to say it properly, I love you Blaine Anderson."
Blaine knew his grin was impossibly wide, but he would never get sick of those words. "I love you too, Kurt Hummel."
The next second, their lips were attached again and Blaine hummed happily against Kurt's mouth. I'll never get sick of this either.
I have so many songs that I could use in stories... It's called my Klaine list, and I usually hear something on the radio and think it's perfect.
MusicalEscape:
If this had happened on a bridge:
"Kurt, I come here sometimes, just to watch the water and think. And.. I've thought that I've want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Aww, Blaine... :)" *Kliss*
Blaine: *dips Kurt backwards, onto the railing*
"Blaine, I lov-"
*falls, splash*
"Um... I love you too?"
I kind of can't get over you guys...
Kindergarten Mentality - KURT AND BLAINE
SITTING IN A TREE
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
FIRST COMES LOVE
THEN COMES LEGALIZED GAY MARRIAGE
THEN COMES TORONTO IN A BABY CARRIAGE