Okay, my thoughts on Asian F. Heavily summarized of course because I could ramble on about this one for days - Asian F in ten sentences ;) do not read it if you haven't seen the episode, of course:

Shane is the worst thing to have happened to Mercedes. Klaine is gorgeous but I expected more of an explanation. Rachel's horrible. Wemma actually had a half-decent storyline - I'm surprised. Run The World was phenomenal which I so did not expect. Mike Chang is amazing and CAN sing and finally has depth and is so very hot. Will Schuester should not attempt Coldplay - if Kurt or Blaine or even Finn had sang it, it would have been so much better because the backing vocals were fantastic, just not the lead. Chris Colfer can say a million words with one second of screen time. My OTP is the cutest thing in the world. And why was Kurt wearing a tail?

All in all, I liked it. I felt like it was a little more toned down, a bit more focused instead of trying to cover every single character in one hit. I still have questions and scenes I feel could have gone better but that's the same for every episode and pretty much every television show out there so I can deal. It's this hiatus I can't deal with though :/

From JustCourage: What if Kurt pulled that fake drowning thing on Blaine, like on sandlot?

Warning: This contains manipulative!Kurt. If that's not your thing, skip it. It's not my thing and I struggled a little with it but hey, I'm trying to cover every possibility and genre and character development/flaw in this series that I can, so this works. I don't like Kurt like this so please don't barrage me with reviews telling me you absolutely hate what I did with Kurt because I don't like it either. Again, just trying to write the prompt, trying to challenge myself a little.

I also haven't seen Sandlot so I have no idea how it works in that.

Drowning

Kurt had never thought he would not enjoy being Blaine's boyfriend.

It wasn't like he was going to break up with Blaine any time soon or something like that. After all, Blaine was an amazing boyfriend who treated Kurt with just the right balance of respect and reverence that he could give gestures like holding doors open or paying for dinner without inferring that Kurt was the girl in the relationship. Kurt could talk about whatever he wanted and Blaine would be guaranteed to listen - not just nod along but truly listen and give feedback. They could spend hours cuddling together on the couch without Kurt having to worry about Blaine trying to cop a feel or push him to do things he wasn't ready for.

So yes, Blaine Anderson was the perfect gentleman, and Kurt loved it.

Most of the time.

"Kurt, no."

Kurt literally groaned in frustration, burying his head in Blaine's shoulder where it had been previously resting. "Come on, Blaine. I've told you, I'm ready."

Blaine sighed and Kurt could feel it. "I know you think you are -"

"I am, Blaine."

Blaine continued as if Kurt hadn't spoken. "But this is a big thing. And after the previous experiences you've had, I don't want this to be rushed or to be something you'll regret."

As usual, Kurt softened slightly after hearing Blaine's argument, but he still had his own to deliver. "I'm not going to regret this. It's you that I want, Blaine and even if we do break up somewhere down the track, you'll still have been my first boyfriend and I can't regret that." He sighed, still refusing to lift his head. "I only want to kiss you. Do you not want -?"

"So much, Kurt," Blaine said immediately. "You know that."

Kurt couldn't resist pouting slightly. "Then why don't we? You're making this a much bigger deal than it has to be."

"You'll thank me for it someday," Blaine said as he always did, turning his attention back to the movie to indicate that the conversation was over. Kurt sighed as loud as possible, just to make it clear that it wasn't over, but obediently fell silent. After all, this had been going on for the past two weeks, Kurt was well used to how the conversation ran and knew there was no point in trying to push Blaine to keep talking at this point.

Kurt knew he wouldn't be putting the pressure on Blaine if he didn't know that Blaine wanted this too. But the fact that they were both ready to kiss and still weren't was something that Kurt couldn't understand or bring himself to accept. After all, they were dating, they were consenting and according to everybody else it felt damn good.

But of course it's all down to Blaine and his stupid 'I'm always right' philosophy.

Kurt sighed, knowing that wasn't fair. Blaine truly did think he was looking out for Kurt, and Kurt appreciated the concern behind it. But Kurt knew he was ready, no matter how much Blaine thought he just wanted to be ready. The only issue was that Kurt had no idea how he was supposed to communicate that to Blaine when his words kept failing him.

Maybe it's time for a plan.

"Swimming."

Kurt's voice was flat and Blaine glanced over, clearly hearing something in it. Hopefully not the wrong something. "What's wrong with swimming?"

Kurt closed his eyes briefly. "I can't swim very well. I mean, I can go to the beach and all that but not proper swimming."

There were a few seconds of silence and Kurt hesitantly peeked to see Blaine looking shocked, but thankfully not laughing. "Wow, okay. Well, that's fine, I can teach you."

Kurt pretended to think about it before nodding. "Alright, I guess so. It's better than sitting around doing nothing, I just can't believe I forgot you were lifeguarding today."

And now he was definitely in the territory of outright lying, and Kurt pushed away the sliver of guilt he felt at that. Desperate times call for desperate measures, he told himself resolutely as he headed back to his dorm room to grab his swimming trunks, and this is definitely a desperate time.

Of course Kurt had known that Blaine was doing his lifeguard shift down at the pool today - he practically knew his boyfriend's schedule off by heart by now. But his feigned ignorance when he had shown up at Blaine's dorm room that morning had apparently been good enough and Blaine had ever so reluctantly explained what he was doing and then invited Kurt to come along and swim while he was waiting for him to finish. Something that Kurt knew how to do perfectly well, but today it was going to be to his best advantage to pretend that he couldn't. Because Kurt had a plan and this was going to go off without a hitch.

Meeting Blaine back in the entrance hall, Kurt did his best to play the part of slightly embarrassed, something Blaine ate up immediately. "Hey, it's alright," he said, tucking his arm through Kurt's and leading them towards the door. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, and now you've got me to help you out."

Oh believe me, Blaine, you're going to be helping me out more than you think.

Kurt smiled at him, allowing the 'embarrassment' to fade. "Can we wait until free swim is over though? I kind of don't want an audience for this."

"Of course." Blaine squeezed his arm again before letting go to open the door to the pool, holding it for Kurt. "After you. So what are you going to do for the next hour?"

Kurt held up his phone. "I have a test on Hamlet next week, I'll just brush up on it." He shuddered and Blaine chuckled. "You go have fun."

Blaine smiled at him, turning to walk away and pulling off his shirt as he went and Kurt's eyes widened because okay, wow, maybe he needed to come along to this more often. Maybe, as in definitely. But for now he ascended the stairs into the bleachers, pulling out his phone and, true to his word (for possibly the first time today), opened his electronic version of Hamlet with a sigh. The test wasn't going to study for itself after all.

Somehow Kurt actually managed to get absorbed into the book - because once you got past the strange language, it was actually a very good story - only noticing that free swim was over by the drop in noise as the other Dalton boys disappeared from the pool. There was only a couple of lane swimmers in today, but Blaine still had to lifeguard for them for the next half an hour. That left the main pool perfectly clear and Blaine beckoned him down, still smiling happily. Leaving his phone, Kurt pulled off his shirt and dropped it on the seat, trying not to smirk at the way Blaine watched him just a bit too intently as he came down the stairs. "Do we have to do this?" he asked, going for plaintive and slightly scared.

Unfortunately Blaine was always a gentleman. "Of course we don't," he said instantly. "It's completely up to you, but swimming is a valuable tool to have and I think it would be to your benefit to have it."

Kurt sighed. "Okay, let's just get this over and done with."

He followed Blaine to the other end of the pool where it was distinctly shallower, and Blaine sat down on the edge, slipping into the water. "Come on," he said reassuringly. "It's not cold or anything."

"I highly doubt that," Kurt muttered as he followed Blaine's example. The pool was actually quite warm but Kurt refused to let on to that. "How are we doing this?"

And then Kurt's idea suddenly became a lot better because Blaine was resting one hand on the small of his back. "Lean back," he said, Kurt unable to do anything but obey. "So I'll start with teaching you how to just float, then we'll try some simple strokes."

"Mkay," Kurt said, allowing his eyes to drift shut as he floated on his back, the lapping sound of water the only noise he could hear. In fact, he was so deep into his relaxation that he didn't even notice Blaine removing his hand, his own arms subconsciously beginning to move to keep him afloat.

"That's it," Blaine said quietly and Kurt's eyes shot open. "It comes naturally."

Kurt forced a laugh. "I guess it does. This is easier than I thought."

"Ready to try something a bit more difficult?" Blaine asked. Kurt stopped moving his arms and awkwardly climbed to his feet - of course he would normally be graceful about it but the pretense had to be kept after all. "I'll be right here with you."

Blaine's idea of 'more difficult' was a simple freestyle, something Kurt had mastered close to seven years ago. The difficult aspect to it was Kurt trying to make it look like it wasn't simple, which had the added bonus of Blaine constantly touching him to keep him afloat. But after awhile, Kurt 'succeeded' at the style, clearly impressing Blaine. "You're doing a really good job. Did you want to try a little distance swimming?"

Kurt frowned, cheering inwardly. "Distance? Like, swimming away from you?"

"You'll be fine, I promise. Just swim to those flags first," Blaine pointed to the flags draped across the top of the pool only a few feet from them, "and then come back."

"Okay," Kurt said as uncertainly as he could manage before beginning to swim, making sure to falter a couple of times but not go under. Apparently it was enough for Blaine who continue to have him do laps, going a little further each time until finally he was swimming halfway across the pool and back. It was time.

So instead of turning around and swimming back when he reached the designated point, Kurt paused for a second before allowing himself to sink into the water. "Blaine!"

"Kurt! Hold on, I'm -" was all he heard before his head sunk under the water.

Kurt forced himself to go limp as he heard the sound of movement through the water coming towards him. And then Blaine's arms were around him, tugging him back up to the surface, pulling him across the water to the edge. Kurt resisted the urge to wince as Blaine shoved him out of the water, his back hitting the concrete. But then Blaine was out of the water too, straddling Kurt low on his hips and resting his hands on Kurt's shoulders. "Kurt? Kurt, can you hear me?"

Blaine leaned in closer, clearly trying to hear whether he was breathing and Kurt held his breath until his boyfriend cursed softly. "I hope you forgive me for this," Blaine muttered before tilting his chin back gently and pressing his open mouth against Kurt's.

As soon as Blaine's lips met his, Kurt went numb. Oh my god, what have I done?

It wasn't that it didn't feel good, but Kurt had just suddenly realized the magnitude of what he had done. This was essentially their first kiss - because for some reason, Blaine had forgotten to plug his nose and it was just their lips pressed together - and Kurt had just faked it. And now he couldn't even kiss Blaine properly and this was what he was going to remember every single time he thought of their first kiss and - no. This needed to stop now.

Kurt rolled away, taking in a deep inhalation. He heard Blaine rock back on his heels, murmuring a, "thank goodness," under his breath before leaning over him again. "Kurt, can you hear me?"

Kurt slowly opened his eyes, blinking up at Blaine. "Blaine?" he croaked out, half applauding himself on his acting and half yelling at himself for doing something that could threaten his voice. "What happened?"

"You sunk and stopped breathing." Blaine wiped the hair off Kurt's forehead gently, staring down at him with so much compassion that it hurt. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," Kurt murmured, propping himself up on his elbows. "Blaine, you saved my life."

And okay, that was definitely a good enough situation. So without any hesitation, Kurt closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Blaine's. And, oh, it was so much better this way. Even though Blaine was stunned still and hadn't started kissing him back yet, Kurt knew he wanted this. And then when Blaine was kissing him back… well. Kurt couldn't begin to describe it.

When he pulled away, Blaine was blinking down at him, dazed and confused and already beginning to second-guess, Kurt could tell. "I don't regret that one bit," he said immediately, trying to soothe Blaine. "How could I?"

Blaine closed his eyes briefly and nodded. "Okay. As long as you're okay."

Kurt pulled himself up so he was sitting and reached out to touch Blaine's cheek gently. "I'm okay in every sense of the word, I promise. Are you telling me you didn't like that?"

"I did," Blaine said as if he was only realizing it himself before a smile blossomed on his face. "Okay, maybe we don't need to wait any longer," he said, standing and offering a hand to Kurt.

Kurt grinned back, allowing Blaine to pull him to his feet. "Well, in that case, how about we leave the pool and go back to your room to have a good look at this new discovery."

As he left the pool hand-in-hand with Blaine, Kurt refused to let himself dwell on the events of the day. In the end, he had gotten what he wanted and Blaine was none the wiser as to what had actually happened. Nobody was hurt, and Kurt could live with his regrets.

Blaine never needed to know.

Alone in his room later that night, Blaine allowed himself to smile.

"Kurt Hummel, you are one determined boyfriend," he murmured to himself. "And I was right. But you don't need to know that."

Because after all, nobody had gotten hurt and Blaine could live with Kurt pretending that their first kiss hadn't been a farce. Their second, and first real kiss, had more than made up for it, and there were plenty more to come.

Kurt never needed to know.

This just... yeah. Bad vibes because I hate seeing them like this, because I never believe in building a relationship on lies, ever. But I'm pushing myself to write every single possibility I can and so it remains.

MusicalEscape:

"...I'm in love with your son."

"You're in love with my son."

"I'm in love with your son too!"

"What the- Jacob, first of all, how'd you get in here? Second, he's MINE. Third, Burt has a shotgun."