Summary: Yoh realizes that he's dissatisfied with his fiancée, but there's nothing he can do about it until an old acquaintance comes into the picture. What will Yoh do?

Written: The night of 8/7 and the morning of 8/8/07.

Rating: T for strong language and mature themes.

Notes: This is my first try at writing a two-shot where both parts of the story fit into the theme. Also this story contains my first use of the F-word…I thought I'd save it for a special occasion, heh. One of the harder stories for me to write so far; I hope the second part comes out of me easier…but on with Part 1, here, enjoy!

"So kiss me hard, 'cause this will be the last time that I let you…"

--Dashboard Confessional, The Best Deceptions

Lost

Kiss #6

It was barely seven o'clock, but the En Inn lay unusually dark, still and quiet in the dying grasp of twilight. The television was off, as were all of the lights, and weak wisps of feeble sunshine cast long shadows upon everything within. A stifling silence permeated the structure, and not even a floorboard dared creak to disturb it.

Yoh found himself sitting at a table in the darkness, drawn to the kitchen out of habit: Normally he would begin preparing dinner for Anna at this time of the evening, but she had left that morning for a meditative retreat and wouldn't be back until the next afternoon. "With you driving me nuts all the time, I'm long overdue for some time alone," were her last words to him.

He, meanwhile, had no idea what to do with himself with his time alone. Being at Anna's beck and call for so long gave him a nearly inexhaustible supply of energy, one that was now almost begging to be tapped even as he continued to sit, staring idly into the blackness. He considered cooking himself dinner despite his total lack of appetite, just to give himself something to do, and weirdly enough his mind talked him into it. The stuff in the fridge will spoil, I may as well cook some of it before then…

His agile fingers washed rice in the dark, feeling each grain against his tough skin, draining the murky water and replacing it anew, until he knew from experience it was clean. He set some frozen meat to thaw in a bowl of warm water, and began mincing vegetables, throwing chunks of carrot, strips of shallot, pieces of potato, into a large pot. Soon the enticing scents of a feast in the making filled the kitchen, as Yoh continued stirring and seasoning in the darkness.

"Not bad, if I do say so myself," Yoh muttered after removing the steaming pot from the range and licking his finger. He was a slacker, but nonetheless took pride in whatever work he did. He even wiped off a shallow bowl, scooped rice and stew upon it, and set it at the table, even though he felt no compulsion to eat whatsoever. The stuffiness of the kitchen addled him, and he departed leisurely, leaving the front door slightly ajar in hopes of cooling off the interior.

Yoh looked up into the early night sky from the middle of the rock garden. There were no stars visible yet, and barely a sliver of moon to illuminate his surroundings, but his night vision was exceptional. He sat on a gently ridged flat rock, propping one of his ankles upon the opposite knee, and felt the crisp air moving upon his upper lip as he breathed slowly and contentedly. In Anna's absence it was unnaturally quiet, and even in the tranquility of the rock garden he felt uneasy, as though she were glaring at him disapprovingly for twiddling his thumbs.

It was with both resentment and longing that he thought of Anna then, the way she made him feel exhausted both in his muscles and in his soul at the end of every day with her merciless training regimen and constant berating. He couldn't imagine he received such brutal treatment from her while they were arranged to be married; how much worse would things be if they were just casual acquaintances?

And then, as though it had hitched a ride upon the shooting star he had just seen out of the corner of his eye and drilled itself into his mind, that word resounded within his relaxed mind: Arranged. His entire life, it seemed to him, had been arranged, from his shaman roots to his engagement to Anna, and all of it ran contrary to his laid-back nature. In every way he could he rebelled against the life he had been spoon-fed, from the way he let his hair grow into long, unkempt spikes, to the oversized headphones which, even under the faint moonlight, were glowing a vibrant tangerine behind his ears. But it was all meaningless, a feeble, token affectation of derailment, when he knew full well his life was still chugging down the tracks others had laid down for him…

For the first time in his life, Yoh began contemplating what his life would be like without Anna as his fiancée. Certainly she had lit, as she put it all too often, a fire under his ass, and in light of the more and more taxing challenges he seemed to face every week, he was thankful she had. But a relentless coach does not a good wife make; in fact, the very dissociation one needs to be an effective coach has the exact opposite effect in a relationship. Anna was too busy keeping herself emotionally unaffected to be both Yoh's mentor and lover, and although he didn't dare confess it to anyone, he wanted, craved, needed love. Perhaps it stemmed from his parents, who never seemed to be around; maybe it hearkened back to his childhood, outcast by other kids for being able to see spirits, and rarely complimented by his grandparents during his training. He didn't know why for sure, but he knew at least that the need existed within him, and Anna never satisfied it…

Then again, he knew his opinion of Anna had no bearing whatsoever on what would inevitably happen. She was a powerful shaman in her own right--her caliber rivaled and maybe even surpassed his--and their marriage was necessary to continue the bloodline. Unless there existed another female shaman willing to take his hand in marriage, it appeared he was stuck.

The grating of feet on pavement from not far off interrupted the dead silence and roused Yoh from his deep thoughts. He squinted at the opening of the gate, waiting for the newcomer to cross the gap. A figure came into view, but much to his surprise and consternation, it did not walk on by, but instead turned inwards to face the inn. From his perch on the rock he squinted and vaguely saw a shock of pink hair coming slowly closer, moving to and fro as though looking for something, or someone…

It drew nearer, and Yoh saw the silhouetted contours of a young woman now, somehow familiar to him yet different. Her figure reminded him of Anna but her stride was nervous, a world apart from his fiancée's confident swagger. Suddenly their eyes met, and Yoh stood stock-still, unsure of what to do next. It's so dark, for all I know she thinks she's starting at a pointy-haired rock…

"Yoh Asakura?" the shaky voice asked, and he gave an involuntary lurch. He gave her a long stare, sizing her up, trying to see if he knew her somehow…

"A--Anna?" he asked lamely, though he knew better.

She drew closer, color beginning to register below her pink hair, and eyes now glimmered at him out of the darkness. He did a double-take and ventured another guess; he remembered now, the only pink-haired girl he knew was…

"Tamao?"

By way of a response, she closed the remaining gap between them, and Yoh could see, even in the near-total darkness, that she was grinning. "Yep," she said, her voice bubbly and anxious. "Kinda surprised you remember me, but it's good. I was afraid you'd sic Amidamaru on me."

He gave a hollow, tense laugh. "Tamao, why did you come here? Did my father send you?" he ventured, remembering that he was her mentor.

"Asakura Mikihisa-sensei? No, though he's taught me a lot. Definitely explains where you get your talent from."

Yoh shifted uncomfortably from his perch on the rock and stood up, unable to hide his nervous tic. Was it just his imagination, or did Tamao just come on to him then? "Er…okay, if not that, then why?"

"Oh, Yoh…just as naïve as I remember you, huh? And I remember quite a bit. In fact," she continued breathlessly, "I haven't stopped thinking of you since the first time we met."

He was slow on the uptake sometimes, but not that slow. "So you're here--"

"To see you again, yes. And to tell you that I like you. A lot."

The words were amplified both by the utter silence that followed them, and by the impact they had on Yoh's mind.

"B-b-but Tamao," he sputtered, his brain overwhelmed for the moment, "I…I'm engaged to Anna! I thought you knew that! I…" He hesitated for a split second, but pushed on, thinking it was the right thing to do, "I love her!"

"Do you?"

Those two simple words sparked chaos in his thoughts. He really did have feelings for Anna, but he wasn't sure on what level those feelings existed. Were they merely gratitude for being tough on him when necessary, and nothing more? Or were they really love?

"I…I don't know."

"Well, I've been thinking--eeeeek!"

Yoh saw Tamao's figure take flight suddenly, but her foot snagged something, and she landed hard upon hundreds of jagged pebbles. "Ahhhh…"

"Tamao! Here--grab my arm, I'll clean you up inside…" He lifted her slender figure off the gravel, wringing her arms about his shoulders and neck to support her, and in such a fashion they made their way to the inn. After flicking on the light switch, he blinked, stunned at the brightness for a second, before he realized he had an injury to dress.

"Have a seat, I'll be back down with some bandages in a second," he told her, sprinting upstairs. She nodded and pulled herself a chair.

As Yoh rummaged behind the bathroom mirror for some first aid supplies, he took several deep breaths. Tamao…really likes me? I mean, I always suspected it, but…wow. What am I supposed to do now?

The sight of a bleeding palm and knee momentarily cleared his mind of such thoughts. Yoh squatted before Tamao's chair, produced an alcohol swab and whispered, "I hope this doesn't sting too badly."

"Ahhhhh!" With her uninjured hand, she squeezed his arm as hard as she could, and for some reason the physical contact felt good in ways that made Yoh feel both exhilarated and intensely guilty. He thought he had heard a soft noise from outside, but he shrugged and began tightly wrapping Tamao's sterilized knee in gauze. Ripping off a couple lengths of medical tape, he said, "That should take care of it. Now let me see your hand."

"With pleasure," she giggled, holding out an oozing palm. Yoh winced, having received his fair share of such injuries in the past.

"I've got to pick out all the loose bits of gravel first, so the scrapes don't get infected. Hang on a second."

She nodded, and he held her hand loosely in his fingertips, feeling her soft, slim fingers, her smooth palm, and the same guilty rush he had felt earlier returned…

"Yoh…your grip is so gentle, but so firm…"

"Tamao! Alone with Yoh no less! What an…unexpected surprise."

The familiar, cold voice filled the room with the same chilly vibe that shot up Yoh's spine at that moment. The scene froze, in an interesting tableau: a blonde wearing a deadly black top and skirt, holding the front door open with white knuckles; a pink-haired girl sitting on a chair, with a brunette boy holding her hand gently within his…

"Kyoyama Anna-sama! It's not what it looks like!" Tamao pleaded, breaking the tense silence.

"Really?" Anna's eyes narrowed at her and Yoh's linked hands, the tone of her voice more arctic than ever. "To me it looks like my fiancée is tending to your injuries. I may be hot-tempered at times but I do not jump to conclusions. However, your over-defensive reaction, combined with the late hour of, and lack of reason for, your visit to our home, makes me a little suspicious. Oh, and I see Yoh has prepared a meal for you as well. A perfect gentleman, isn't he?" she finished, shooting both of them with freezing glares.

"N-not at all, Anna-sama! I just…I wanted to show Yoh something I discovered with my divining the other day--"

"Without your kokkuri board? I must say, Tamao, if your divination is anything like your lying, you may as well stop while you're ahead and seek a career in the fast-food industry."

The cotton-candy-colored hair atop her head rustled slightly as Tamao swallowed hard.

"Now cut the crap. I know you've had a crush on Yoh for a long time now, it's an open secret. But Yoh and I are engaged, Tamao. We're not kidding around here. Besides," she continued, her voice not warming over in the least, "you shouldn't read into Yoh's actions too deeply. He's very kind to everyone he knows, but he loves me. Isn't that right, Yoh?"

He froze, the bandage he had been holding dropping to the floor, and looked anywhere but into Anna's penetrating eyes. He wanted very badly to say "yes," but he wanted even more urgently to be loved, and it seemed to him Tamao had already shown more affection in the past half-hour than Anna had in nearly sixteen years…that is, until what would happen next…

"Yoh…Oh, fuck it." With those words still hanging in the air, Anna strode forth, roughly pulled up Yoh by the nape of his neck, shoved the back of his head forward, and planted her lips firmly upon his. Were Yoh able to see anything but Anna's passionately closed eyes, he might have seen Tamao looking on with a mix of shock and horror, but instead he simply continued staring dumbfounded into the two eyelids that were shut with an intensity to match her lips.

"A…Anna," Yoh managed at last, though he didn't know if he were asking a question, making a statement, or begging.

"I love you, dammit," she said, her voice still coming forth frozen. Without another word, without even looking back, Anna made her way out the door, with Yoh staring at the doorway long after it had shut. He could still taste traces of the first act of love Anna had ever bestowed him, and he didn't quite know what to make of it, or even if it had actually happened…Despite discovering both Tamao's latent affection for him and Anna's sudden passion, Yoh felt more lost than ever.

Tamao spoke then, reminding him that she was still there, and all his troubles sprang back to mind with her voice. "Yoh…"

To be continued in "Found," Kiss #7.