There were a few people thinking I hadn't seen 3x05. I certainly have. I am just choosing to stick to my spoiler-free authors notes because I know some people still need to wait quite a while to see it. Let me just say that I've rewatched the 'Layers' scene at least twenty times.

One thing I need to address in that though (and this may get a bit spoilerish for some) is that Australia actually censored that scene. They cut out the masturbation line and the subsequent response to that line, jumping straight to "I'm being serious..." Now this bothers me a lot. It's just a word, it's something that everybody knows about anyway that they say all teenage boys are doing. And it's an episode about sex. I admire Glee for putting it in there and have severe issues with Australia for taking it out. I watched the full scene that someone sent me to show me what Australia cut and I see no reason to cut it at all.

Okay, my manager is picking me up soon (it's too hot for me to walk apparently and I can't bring myself to argue) so I'd better stop ranting, watch "Layers" a few more times and then work until midnight.

From PB Headless: Blaine has stayed over the night and in the morning they are all flirty and play acting as a couple getting ready for the day (Kurt doing Blaine's tie, reading newspapers, orange juice and stuff) then they kiss... and realise they maybe took the acting too far but go back to kissing anyway... bonus points for awkward Finn hanging around.

Domestic

It was just another morning in the Hudson-Hummel household as far as Kurt was concerned. Burt and Carole had both left for their respective jobs after Kurt had ensured his father had packed a health conscious lunch. Finn was still slumped at the breakfast table, half asleep while he waited for food. And Kurt, half dressed in his Warbler uniform with his tie draped around his neck and blazer hanging up by the door, was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

So when another set of footsteps echoed on the stairs, Kurt nearly upset the pan of bacon as he jumped, spinning around to see if it was Finn. Considering the boy was still comatose on the table, there was only one other option. "Finn," he hissed, trying not to panic as the footsteps grew louder. "There's someone in the house!"

"Hit them with a baseball bat," Finn muttered tiredly.

"Please don't," said Blaine calmly as he entered the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. "That would probably hurt an awful lot."

Kurt let out a sigh of relief only to be faced with the next earth-shattering shock - Blaine had just slept in his house. All night. And Kurt hadn't known."What… I thought you left last night?" But now that Kurt thought about it, he couldn't actually remember Blaine leaving after their royal wedding re-run marathon, he only knew that Blaine was supposed to have left. In fact, Kurt couldn't remember much after the balcony kiss and Blaine's shoulder being warm and comfortable and… oh. "I fell asleep, didn't I?"

"Yep." Blaine pulled up a seat next to Finn and collapsed into it, running a hand through his hair haphazardly. "So did I. By the time your dad realized I should have already left, it was too late for me to drive home and I was liable to fall asleep at the wheel so he just told me to take the guest room."

Kurt nodded, most of it making sense except… "How did I get to bed?"

"I carried you," Blaine told him, like it was the most natural thing ever. Except it kind of wasn't because his crush had carried him to bed and Kurt was trying really hard not to freak out over that fact. "And then I forgot to set my own alarm, so thankfully the smell of bacon woke me up… bacon?"

And Kurt had to laugh because with his hair disheveled, tie undone and still yawning every five seconds, Blaine looked and sounded more like a teenager than he ever had before and it was adorable in so many ways. "If you're lucky," Kurt said teasingly.

"I'll be on my best behavior, I swear," Blaine said, sitting up straight and staring imploringly at Kurt. "Please, sir."

Kurt's efforts to keep a straight face were monumental. "Okay, if you're making me out to be some kind of parental figure, that's creepy as anything."

Blaine thought for a second. "Life partner?"

And that was dangerously close to… ah, screw it. Even though Blaine looked like he was seconds away from retracting it and apologizing and being sickeningly noble and polite, Kurt was up for the game. "Well darling," he said quickly, laying it on just a bit thick to keep with the joke, "what kind of life partner would I be if I didn't cook for you?"

Finn's head jerked up off the table at that, frowning. "Are you two… no, it's too early for this. Bacon, Kurt?"

"You people only want me for my cooking skills," Kurt exclaimed, throwing up his hands and returning to the bacon which had thankfully not burned, leaving the ball in Blaine's court. If he wanted to take the game further, then Kurt was more than willing to play along.

He heard the sound of someone getting up and then a pair of hands were resting on his shoulders. "Actually, sweetheart," came the voice in his ear that never failed to send a shiver down Kurt's spine, "I could use your help with something else. I can never get this tie perfect and you're so good at tying them."

Kurt turned off the heat and removed the bacon, placing it on the stand before turning around. "Come here," he said, clucking his tongue and taking either side of Blaine's tie. "What would you do without me, apart from dress horridly and still believe that Katy Perry is better than Lady GaGa?"

"Hey!" Blaine said indignantly, but the sparkle in his eyes showed Kurt that he was just as willing to play along with their little game. "Not all of us can make a uniform look fashionable."

Kurt glanced over at his blazer where he had pinned one of his more elaborate brooches. "Well, I try," he said almost modestly. "Now, hold still."

Kurt finished the tie, smoothing it down against Blaine's chest and taking possibly a little bit longer with the action than necessary. But it was just a game, of course, and Kurt could do whatever he chose. "Thank you, dearest," Blaine said, stepping back and examining it before blowing Kurt a kiss which he caught on reflex. "Can I help with breakfast?"

"No, it's all done, honey. You just sit back and… I feel like I should offer you the newspaper."

Blaine smirked. "Actually, could you? I quite like reading it over breakfast."

Kurt shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me, Blaine Anderson," he said as he disappeared into the living room, returning with his father's newspaper and handing it to Blaine who had already sat down and was poking Finn curiously. "Here. He won't wake up until there's food in front of him."

"Thanks, beautiful," Blaine said absently and Kurt's heart skipped a beat because that had sounded so natural. And the way Blaine cleared his throat a second later made it almost seem like it had been… but no. It was all just a game. "So, would that make you Kurt Anderson?"

It was official. This game was going to kill him.

"I don't think so," Kurt said instead, trying to pretend he hadn't imagined this conversation a million times before. "It's not like I'm the girl in the relationship, so why can't you be Blaine Hummel?"

Blaine's eyes glazed over for a second before he shook his head. "Hyphenate? Anderson-Hummel?"

"Why are you first?" Kurt demanded, trying to ignore the warmth that had blossomed in his heart at that because Blaine had just hyphenated their names like they were getting married.

"Alphabetical, my dear." Blaine patted his cheek condescendingly and opened his newspaper. "Now, are you going to bring me my breakfast or not?"

And it was like Kurt's mouth was on autopilot now. "Well if you keep that attitude up, there'll be no sex for you tonight."

Kurt froze.

Blaine froze.

Finn practically leapt from the table, wide eyed as he stared between the two boys. "Please, please please tell me I heard that wrong? Or, no, right. Please tell me that was right and you guys won't be having sex tonight? Or any night? Ever?"

"Finn, I can assure you that Blaine and I are not having sex," Kurt said quickly, already halfway into the kitchen to try and hide the blush he knew was covering his face. "It's a joke. A very bad joke. I should never have said it, oh my god why did I say that?" His voice had trailed off into close to a whisper by the end and Kurt was gripping the counter top, eyes clenched shut because that was the stupidest thing he had ever done. Ever. But all Kurt could do was keep going, keep pretending that the game was just a game and he wasn't mortified beyond belief. "And your homophobia is showing," he said calmly as he brought out the pan of bacon.

"My what?" Finn asked absently as he began to pile bacon onto his plate. Kurt rolled his eyes, knowing nothing would penetrate until Finn had eaten, and swatted the boys hands away to make sure Blaine got some bacon.

"Clearly we're not raising him right," Blaine said, winking at Kurt as he accepted the bacon pan. "He might need to be grounded."

Kurt subtly let out a sigh of relief. "I think so. Maybe we'll need to take his video games off him for a week."

"You can't do that," Finn said immediately, his voice taking on the tone of a petulant child. "You have no right. They're mine."

The two boys glanced at each other for a second before bursting into laughter. Finn pouted at them before the need to eat his bacon overrode and he was off in another world. "This looks amazing, love," Blaine finally said when he got his laughter under control. Kurt was still giggling when Blaine leant over and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

Oh.

Kurt stopped laughing instantly, blinking a few times before turning to Blaine who was nonchalantly digging into his bacon, the paper spread in front of him getting his full attention. In fact, Kurt would almost have been sure that he had dreamt it if it weren't for the slight flush creeping up the back of Blaine's neck and the way Finn was half-turned around in his seat awkwardly, his back facing the two of them. Kurt sighed, pushing his confusion back in favor of continuing things the way they had been. "Finn, I will steal your bacon if you don't turn back -"

Finn shot back around long enough to grab his plate and scarf down half of the bacon in one go. "Mnttnnrndntl-"

"Finn!" Kurt shuddered, dropping his own fork. "That's disgusting and I have no idea what you just said."

"He said 'I'm not turning around until -' and I presume he was going to say something about us being flirtatious," Blaine said offhandedly before taking a mouthful of his own bacon.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "How?" he demanded, trying not to think about the fact that Blaine had just admitted that they were flirting and had been so casual about it, like it was completely normal to flirt with your best friend who happens to share your sexual preference. Please tell me he doesn't do this sort of thing with other guys...

Blaine finished his mouthful, swallowing rather pointedly before replying. "When you live with the Dalton boys for as long as I have, you get used to mouthful-of-food-speak. Cameron is much worse than Finn, I assure you. It's still disgusting though and I'm going to suggest bumping it up to two weeks of grounding."

Kurt smirked. "You're so harsh, snookums."

"Snookums?" Blaine bit his lip, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Okay, maybe not." Kurt shook his head, grinning. "Sexy?"

And there was something Kurt never thought he'd be able to say, especially not with Finn staring at them like they were both insane. There was only a flicker of surprise in Blaine's eyes before he was bantering back smoothly, smirking. "Well I'll take that. I know it's true." Kurt hit him lightly and returned to his own breakfast, his mind whirring. He was having so much fun acting this way with Blaine, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel regret that this wasn't actually real. Because it was just so easy to sit there and have breakfast with Blaine and have pet names and yeah, Kurt kind of wanted to wake up to this for the rest of his life.

Breakfast was finished rather quickly and Finn resumed his half-asleep state on the table as Kurt and Blaine cleared away the dishes. The playful banter continued in the kitchen, Kurt going so far as to whip Blaine with the dishtowel which resulted in a good few minutes of play-wrestling until Kurt finally called truce. Together they traipsed back out to the dining room, Kurt rolling his eyes at the comatose Finn on the table before turning to Blaine who had suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder. "Yes, gorgeous?" he asked, watching the sparkle fill Blaine's eyes again.

"Breakfast was wonderful, thank you, sweetheart."

"Maybe you should show your appreciation, my dearest."

Kurt's mouth was honestly just running on its own today, he swore.

Blaine simply raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I should, Kurt." And before Kurt could mull over the way his own name falling from Blaine's lips was so much better than any of the pet names, said lips were pressed up gently against his.

Please tell me this isn't a game anymore.

Kurt was fairly sure it wasn't, especially when Blaine pulled back gently, running a thumb over Kurt's cheek and staring at him like he was Blaine's world. Kurt could only smile hesitantly before leaning back in, brushing his lips against Blaine's again, feeling almost intoxicated by the feeling of Blaine, the taste of Blaine, just Blaine.

And then Kurt remembered Finn. Breaking the kiss gently, Kurt glanced over to his step-brother and had to snort in amusement - Finn was still sleeping on the table. "He's going to freak when he learns about this."

Blaine shook his head before leaning in and taking Kurt's tie, knotting it together deftly and smoothing it down against his chest. "I left my blazer upstairs," he said quietly as Kurt grabbed his own, slipping it over his shoulders. "Come with me."

As Blaine led him upstairs, Kurt simply couldn't resist. "Gay sex in the guest room? Blaine Anderson-Hummel, I never!"

The sound of Finn banging his knee into the table in his rush to get up had Kurt and Blaine stifling their laughter in the upstairs hallway.

This is one of my favourites.

MusicalEscape:

"Puck, for once you were right-"

"SCORE! You all owe me twenty bucks." *mini victory dance*

"...what? Also, Puck, never do that again. Your dancing skills leave MUCH to be desired. I think my brain is starting to burn. Quick, I need a distraction! Blaine, makeout with me!"