Summary: Yoh's bound to get in trouble when a bit of alcohol loosens his tongue when he's with the guys. Can he make the most of it?

Written: Throughout 2009 and 2010. Finished 2/9/10.

Rating: Tfor strong language.

Punch-Drunk

Kiss #31

Had he any particular desire to mull over his situation, Yoh might have succumbed to bitterness long ago. Indeed, successful as Shaman King was on the air, little of that success trickled down into his wallet.

But Yoh found it difficult to sulk over his poverty at the moment, as he strolled up the curving cobbled pathway that led from the front gates of the estate to the mansion proper. His attention was partly stolen away by the topiary, and the plumage of the scattered flamingos and ostriches that, even in the fading twilight, could still be seen. The main distraction, though, was not the mansion that loomed at the top of the gentle slope. Yoh looked up at the colossal white structure and felt his head swoon. No, Yoh was not feeling the effects of vertigo; rather, his dizziness was attributable to the person walking beside him – and with her hand clasped within his, no less. He chanced a sideways glance at her. She was staring straight ahead, mesmerized. Yoh thought he could hardly fault her for having other things on her mind than him, as the mansion was an impressive sight indeed. Soon he too came to fixate upon the mansion as they crested the hill and he saw it in its entirety. Before the porte-cochere a large fountain had been installed. A marble cherub shot a perpetual stream of crystal clear water from his bow into the basin below. Yoh glanced into the agitated water and saw a shimmering sheet of coins lying beneath its surface.

"Make a wish," Anna said, rifling through her purse and pulling out the first two coins she could find. She pressed one of them into Yoh's palm. Startled, he jerked his hand, and the coin toppled out of his grasp. Still at a loss for what had just happened, he stared dumbly at the coin as it lazily wove its way through the currents and came to a rest at the fountain's bottom.

Anna shook her head in mock disappointment. "Butterfingers," she sighed. Her coin was still solidly within her grasp, until with a flick of her thumb and a piercing metallic ring, it was sent tumbling on its way.

"Paying the wishing well a visit, huh, Anna?"

She as well as Yoh turned toward the source of the interruption. "Hey, Ryu," Yoh acknowledged with a grin. Anna merely nodded curtly at him.

"But I'd say save your money, Anna – your wish already came true, if I'm not mistaken," Ryu continued, looking significantly at Yoh.

"Oh, shut up, or I'll show you where you can sheathe your wooden sword," Anna blustered. It was doubtful that her anger, even if it were genuine, was responsible for the shade of red her face had suddenly taken on... "Shouldn't you be hitting on Tamao instead of bothering me? I'll call the cops in advance and save us both some time."

Several seasons of forgotten lines, prop failures, lighting shortcomings, and costume mishaps had endowed Ryu with an unflappable sense of calm. Hoping some of it would rub off on Anna, he said, "Deep breaths, Anna, relax. Why don't you and your boyfriend – "

Anna's reaction to Ryu's choice of words was instantaneous. It was almost like Ryu had just used several unutterable curse words as well as a couple of choice racial slurs. "What did you call him?"

Ryu smiled, no sign of strain evident on his face. "You and Yoh," he amended. "Why don't the two of you come in, mingle, nibble on some hors d'oeuvres, have a drink?"

"What is it with guys and drinking?" Anna screamed. "It's always 'I can't deal with this problem head-on, so I'll just chug a beer and it'll magically solve itself.' Why don't you look for the solutions, instead of trying to find them at the bottom of a bottle?"

"Sometimes the problems," Ryu said with a meaningful glance directly into Anna's eyes, "don't want to be solved."

Anna was not so slow on the uptake as to miss what he was implying. "Really, you're saying that I'm the problem? Look at this guy! He couldn't act his way out of a paper sack! You could wallpaper this entire mansion with the scenes of his that end up on the cutting-room floor. I can't help it, all right? It just happened! I didn't want to fall in love with someone like that – "

Yoh stared at Anna, slack-jawed. Ryu looked stunned. A supremely horrified expression reigned upon Anna's face. She looked nowhere in particular.

No one made a sound. The fountain gurgled behind them.

Anna decided, after several seconds of silence, to carry on as if the long pause hadn't happened.

"...So I didn't! And thank God too, there are plenty of fish in the sea."

Yoh was still reeling too much to even consider chasing after her as she dashed off into the mansion. Ryu, the master of keeping composure, shook his head rapidly as if trying to clear it. He still looked dazed as he sat down on the edge of the fountain and lit a cigarette.

"Want one?" The query came from behind a cloud of smoke.

Yoh accepted, mostly because it would give him something to do that wasn't totally confusing or shocking. As he coughed violently, he wondered how people could stand the things, let alone become addicted to them.

"Watch out, those things'll kill you someday."

Yoh's eyes were watering from the smoke, but he blinked hard and, squinting, recognized the person who had just spoken. "Horohoro! Good to see you, man."

"Yeah, long time no see," he replied. "Seems like they haven't done an episode with me in ages. I've kind of been letting myself go, and this party won't help me much there." He patted his stomach for emphasis. "Ren too, but it seems like he can eat whatever he wants and not gain a pound."

"Ren's here too?" Ryu asked, and in his excitement he let his cigarette fall from his lips. With a brief sizzle, it hit the water.

"Of course I am," came a cheery voice from just behind. "This is the closest thing to a reunion we're gonna have. Especially since our brilliant screenplay calls for zero episodes with us this season. But never mind that. Boy, is it good to see you!" Ren motioned for Yoh to stand. He did, and was immediately assaulted by a viselike bear hug. His surly, loner attitude was invented totally for the cameras – in real life he was amiable and loquatious. But Ren's strength wasn't fictionalized; for such a diminutive kid, he packed a punch.

It was only then that Ren noticed it was Yoh who was smoking, not Ryu.

"Smoking is bad," Ren chided.

"I know," he said impatiently. "God, it's not like I'm mugging people in order to buy crack. Why's everyone making such a big deal over this?"

"It's just," Ren explained, "unlike you, is all."

"Yeah," Horohoro added, a rare expression of concern crossing his face. "What's going on? Talk to me, bro."

Yoh cast a glance at Ryu. "C'mon, let's go inside. Maybe if I chug a beer, all my problems will magically solve themselves."

"What?" Ren looked apoplectic. "So now you're a raging alcoholic in addition to being a chain smoker? Next you're going to tell me you do a line of cocaine before every scene."

Ryu got to his feet. "Nothing like that, Ren. I'll try to explain. Let's go in, though, I'm starving."

* * *

Horohoro nodded with solemnity. "Ah. It all makes sense now."

Things, after all, have a way of making sense when you're splayed over a dangerously comfy leather couch. That goes double if that couch is situated in the middle of a party in full swing, surrounded by merry guests, plentiful food, and chipper atmosphere. But despite all the merriment around them, the mood was undeniably somber.

"Girl problems, huh?" Ren put in. "Nothing a little food can't solve. Garcon!"

A waiter who was passing by halted on a dime. "Yes, young master, what do you wish?"

"Those appetizers you've got there look great. How about you give us that tray and keep 'em coming?"

The waiter made no effort to hide his irritation, but nonetheless set the entire tray down before Ren and the gang. "As you wish, sir," the waiter said stiffly, spitting the "sir" like a sunflower seed husk, before stalking off.

Despite himself, Yoh reached for a cocktail weenie. "Yea, love stinks, doesn't it?"

"Amen to that," Horohoro nodded. "All I need in this world is a good imagination and a strong right hand."

"Too much information," Ren said with raised eyebrows, scooting away from him. "Cheer up, Yoh! You know what they say, right? Eat, drink, and be merry." He plopped the rest of his quiche Lorraine in his mouth for emphasis. "I think they go in that order. And you look like you could use a drink, if I do say so myself."

"And a drink you shall have!" bellowed a voice from across the room. A well-built young man, maybe a couple of years Yoh's senior, barreled through the crowd with the aid of the push cart before him. His bright orange hair instantly identified him to Yoh, and before he could so much as scoop some ice into a glass, he was greeted enthusiastically.

"Ichigo, you son of a bitch! How've you been?"

The Bleach star shrugged as he lined up champagne glasses along the side of the cart. "Same old, same old. Ever since we changed studios everything sucks. You can visit me, you know. All of you," he said, smiling warmly at Ren, Horohoro, and Ryu. "Save me from Kuchiki's emo-rage and Rukia being an uber-slut."

"Wow," Yoh said, looking on as his old friend struggled valiantly with the stopper on his champagne bottle. "Things have really gone downhill in a hurry, it seems."

"Naturally. All your best friends are right across the street, and then one day" – the champagne cork popped off, punctuating his speech – "just like that, all gone."

"Don't say that," Ren interjected, standing up and putting a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "We're still here, aren't we?"

"True, true," he replied with a slight grin as he decanted the champagne into the flutes. "I guess the takeaway is, you gotta live it up while you can, since God only knows what'll happen tomorrow."

"Words to live by," Ryu agreed as he passed around the glasses of champagne. Raising his in the air, he exclaimed, "To Yoh! May your love life problems solve themselves!"

The newcomer looked puzzled. Seating himself beside Yoh, he asked, "Love life problems? Now we're in really familiar territory."

"Oh, yeah. Join the club." Yoh sipped his champagne timidly.

"Already got the lifetime membership, I think."

"Really? A guy like you saying that?" Yoh swirled a gulp of champagne around in his mouth. "I mean, c'mon, I think even I would go out with you."

Ichigo nearly spewed a mouthful of champagne, but he regained his composure quickly. "I'm flattered, I think. And after another drink or two, who knows, I might take you up on that offer." He got up to dig another bottle out from beneath the ice. The cork came off much easier this time around. "Freshen up your drinks, anyone?" While he topped off everyone's glass, he continued, "But seriously, Yoh, I could say the same of you. I could, but I don't think I'm drunk enough yet." He laughed. "You see what I mean, though?"

Yoh took a pensive sip. "Huh?" Clearly the time he had spent thinking had paid off in spades.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and gestured at him with the now-empty bottle. "You are, as they say, the complete package. All the girls I know would melt inside if you looked at them with those innocent eyes, or if you draped that buff arm around her shoulder, or even said sweet things to her in that voice of yours..."

"God, why don't you just make out with him already?" Ryu teased.

"Why, because all you guys are watching," Ichigo answered smoothly. "Bottom line," he continued, facing Yoh again, "don't sell yourself short, bro. She's a little confused, I think, and maybe a little scared. You two have known each other for a long time and things totally change when you decide to try being more than just friends. But still, I think once she comes around to giving it a shot, Anna's lucky to have a guy like you liking her."

Yoh nodded for a couple of seconds. Then he froze. A trickle of champagne even dribbled from his immobile lips. At last he managed words. "But...I didn't even mention Anna..."

"How stupid do you think I am...we are? We've all known pretty much since day one that you two were meant to be. It was just a matter of you going for it."

Yoh moved his eyes from face to face, and each one nodded its assent at Ichigo's assessment. Overwhelmed with this information, he found nothing to say but "Really?"

The glass, by now empty once more, slid out of Yoh's shocked hand. This time it was Ryu who got up to return the glass, now filled again, to him.

"Don't look at us like that," Horohoro urged. "Nothing wrong with it. Sometimes you can just tell."

"The time for talking has passed!" Ryu had lapsed back into character. Something about the "Ryu voice" impelled others to listen, despite how hammy it was. "The time for action has come. Will you, Yoh-sama, answer the clarion call and confess your love?"

Ichigo was thoroughly unimpressed by Ryu's exhortation, voice and all. "I say go for it. What's the worst that can happen?"

"She says no, I lose a great friend, and things get really awkward on the set."

"Who taught you to be such a downer?" Ren chided. "Besides, do you really think you're gonna get 'no' for an answer? Think about it. I know it's asking a lot of your none-too-plentiful intellect, but really think about it."

"Oh, kiss my ass," Yoh said irreverently, but inside the gears were already turning. He thought of the way they had comported themselves on the train ride over. That whole thing with the wet handkerchief, that just had to mean something... His memory drifted back further. There's always been a kind of, tension I guess, between the two of us. Maybe that's what it feels like when you're meant to be something more than friends and it never happens...

Yoh snapped out of his deep thought to find all four of his companions staring at him like a fish in an aquarium.

Ren made an exasperated face. "Well?!"

Yoh sighed. His fingers trembled as he rose his glass to his lips. He downed its contents in a single chug, followed up by a deep breath. "Ichigo, you're right. God only knows what will happen tomorrow. But I do know what will happen tomorrow if I don't do anything. It'll be yet another day of uncertainty. Another day of going through the motions on the set, feeling like nothing matters because I'm too busy wondering, does the girl of my dreams even care that she's ten feet away from someone who will try to keep her happy for the rest of her life? Yeah, the worst that can happen is I'll get rejected. But you know what? I just want to find out already. It's the not knowing that's killing me. Maybe she hates me, I don't know. But I do know that I love Anna. And I can't keep it to myself anymore."

"No, she doesn't hate you. I'm quite sure of it."

"How do you know – WHAT?!"

For Yoh had recognized the voice of the person who had just spoken. Granted, it was without its usual iciness, but he would know that voice anywhere, having heard it in his dreams for years...

"In fact, she loves you. And she only feels comfortable admitting this," Anna continued, monotone, betraying nothing, "because from the looks of it, you're drunk off your ass and won't remember this tomorrow morning. But Yoh...oh, you're so, so dense sometimes. Didn't you come to suspect, maybe, after all the times I "accidentally" admitted liking you, that maybe, possibly, I liked you? You drunk bastard, if you only remember one thing from tonight, make it this.

"I love you, Yoh. Always have and always will."

Yoh had remained stock still while Anna talked to him, and now he was finding it difficult to move, or speak, or do anything, really, other than mentally process what he had just heard. Finally even his brain called it quits.

Oh, what the hell.

And without any forethought Yoh was on his feet and, in one fluid motion, had embraced her tightly and planted his lips upon hers. Anna, despite having just confessed her feelings, was taken aback by this for an instant. But she, too, gave up on trying to make sense of it all and kissed him back...

But only for a second. "Wait a minute, you taste like...Apple juice?"

"Of course," Ichigo nodded. "I may be a bona fide Soul Society bad-ass, but I'm not a criminal. That's what I served Yoh."

Anna snatched up the empty bottle he had pointed to. "Martin Ellis™ Non-Alcoholic Sparkling Apple Cider?" She paused for a second. "So you're not drunk, and you said all that stuff about me while sober, and you're going to remember this all perfectly tomorrow..."

"For the rest of my life, I think, actually."

"Well, shit." Anna looked hard at Yoh for just an instant. Then she shrugged. "Oh, fuck it."

Back on the couch, Ichigo did a double-take. "Wait a minute! Isn't this supposed to be a New Year's story?"

"Yeah, but come on," Horohoro said, pointing at Yoh and Anna. He did his best to avert his eyes but nonetheless saw just how passionately they were now going at it. "Do you want to be the one who tells them, 'Sorry, but no more making out, we have to get to the New Year's plot'? I didn't think so."

Ren simply shrugged. "Look at those two. Go for the gold, Yoh, that's years of pent-up emotion right there."

Ichigo sighed. "I'm happy for them, but damn it..."

"What?"

"I guess this means now he won't be going out with me after all."