Valentine's Day Meltdown
Kiss #32
Winter's grasp upon Japan was beginning to loosen, but the air was still chilly. Yoh found it difficult enough to stay awake in class even under normal circumstances, but the pleasantly heated air of the classroom seemed to add ten pounds to each of his eyelids. He made a sincere effort to find something invigorating about the material they were covering in class that morning, but Mr. Ozaki's bland voice and the dry subject matter didn't help.
At all.
"...Commodore Matthew Perry, whose 1853 arrival in Tokyo ended over two hundred and fifty years of the Tokugawa shogun's policy of isolation..."
Yoh blinked and nearly found himself unable to open his eyes again, but he shook his head violently and perked up for the moment.
"...prompting the Meiji emperor to adopt a top-to-bottom restructuring of the government. The primary change was reversing the Tokugawa policy of aloofness. In fact, the Meiji era was characterized by an embracing of Western innovations..."
Yoh gave up. His forehead thumped against his desk with a reverberating thud. Unfortunately for him, years of teaching sleepy students had given Mr. Ozaki superhuman hearing. "Asakura!"
Without even lifting his head, he knew every neck in the classroom had swiveled around to get a good view of him. He peeled his eyes open and saw he was right.
"Pay attention or pay the price in detention!" Yoh thought the wordplay was clever the first time he heard it. Sadly, it wasn't quite as amusing the tenth time around. Regardless, rather than risk Mr. Ozaki's further ire, he went through the motions. He sat up straighter. He even cracked his composition book open to one of its many pristine pages and made an attempt to take notes. His resolve eroded, though, and before long he was doodling in the margins.
"Yamamoto! Is my lecture about the Meiji Restoration perhaps confusing you enough for you to mistake this for art class?" The teacher had abandoned his post behind his desk and was now on his feet – a warning sign, Yoh thought. In two smooth strides he stood before the offender and snatched up her notebook.
"How very flattering," he noted drolly, holding the notebook open toward the class. "I think the devil's horns make me look very intimidating. What do you think, students?"
Yoh laughed involuntarily. A few other students joined in. Yamamoto-san was quite the artist; it was a caricature of Mr. Ozaki for sure, and a good one at that.
"Asakura likes it, I see. So do Kimura and Suzuki. You know, I'm not so uptight that I don't think it's funny myself. I can't deny that you have talent, Yamamoto."
Yoh noted that she had already been embarrassed, but at that her face flushed deep crimson.
"However, even if Hokusai was sitting in my class painting a masterpiece, I'd still have to put him in detention for not paying attention. Such a shame too, on a day like this...Very well, class dismissed. Except for our budding artist here."
"Not getting enough sleep again, huh?" The sympathetic voice that addressed Yoh seemed to come from nowhere, but he knew who had just spoken.
"When do I ever?" Yoh stood up and, as if by magic, the top of Manta Oyamada's head came into view. "Thank God Anna isn't in any of my classes, or I'd never get a break. Ozaki busting me is nothing compared to her. Nothing," he repeated, pushing the composition book into his backpack for emphasis.
"She never lets up?" Manta's wide eyes gazed up at Yoh and he took in just how fatigued he looked. A faint mist seemed to obscure his eyes, making them appear unfocused.
"Not for a second. That's not an exaggeration, I even have nightmares about her sometimes..."
A low whistle exited Manta's thin lips. "Then I suppose for you, this day is like any other. That's too bad, man."
Yoh languidly slung his backpack across one of his slumping shoulders as he and Manta headed for the exit. He nodded – but paused with a foot in the doorway. "Wait, what? Should today be different?"
Manta took this in stride – literally. He didn't even stop walking, and nearly collided with the now frozen Yoh. In the hallway it slowly dawned on him that something was out of the ordinary. Maybe it was the way the hall buzzed with energy, or the several couples who were exuberantly striding up and down, unabashedly walking hand in hand. Or, for that matter, the even more adventurous ones who, under the cover of their locker doors or strategically placed binders, were obviously making out...
"Yeah, Yoh. It's Valentine's Day."
It wasn't just the fatigue that was making him numb as he trudged down the hall to the cafeteria.
"I can't believe … Actually, never mind," Yoh began glumly as they stood in line for some of the school's uninspiring grub. "I can believe she'd treat Valentine's Day just like any other. That's definitely her style." He punctuated his declaration by slamming his tray down, and the lunch lady promptly responded by scowling at him through thick, foggy glasses.
"Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly as the lunch lady, mollified, ladled a generous portion of something Yoh didn't care much to identify upon his plate. It was brown and smelled, if not appetizing, then at least palatable, and that was good enough for him. Manta, on the other hand, looked utterly revolted at the melange plopped on his plate.
"God, what is this?" he asked once they had found a place to sit. The cafeteria was usually abuzz with hundreds of students reveling in their midday break, but Valentine's Day stirred the atmosphere into a wild excitement. The table at which Yoh and Manta had seated themselves was no exception. Guys and girls sat across from, or even right next to, one another, twiddling hair, laughing anxiously, twirling chopsticks nervously.
One such girl brought her tray over and sat on Yoh's immediate right.
Anna!
The notion was dispelled as quickly as it had formulated in Yoh's mind – her build was about right, but her hair was black and without the requisite bandana, and her facial features completely different.
"Oh, hi, Chiemi," Yoh said by way of greeting. He grinned. "I can't believe Ozaki would show your drawing of him to everyone in the class. What an asshole."
"Yeah, you're telling me." She rolled her eyes and unshouldered her purse. "Guess what he made me do for detention, though. You'll never guess."
Manta was still tentatively jabbing the brown mass on his plate with a chopstick. Yoh shrugged. "Beat the dust out of the chalkboard erasers?"
"I wish. He made me – get this – sketch a portrait of him! What a conceited … Ugh!" She slammed her purse onto the tabletop in disgust. A small white box bound in red ribbon tumbled out.
The effect of this was instantaneous. The two young men sitting across from Chiemi both locked eyes upon the box. The sight of it transformed them from classmates and pals to bitter rivals.
"She made them for me!"
"No way! That box has got my name written all over it!"
"Your name? Why the hell would she give you anything for Valentine's, except for a slap?"
"Because I'm smart! And handsome, naturally–"
"Handsome? If anyone's got good looks, it's me, and don't you forget it, Mr. Unibrow."
"Hey! At least I can fix that. Which is more than I can say for your tiny–"
Chiemi watched the intense argument with more than a little mirth. She smirked, cupped a dainty hand to her mouth, and whispered in Yoh and Manta's direction, "The chocolates aren't for either of them. But should I tell them now, or enjoy the show a little longer?"
Manta laughed, putting him at ease enough to try a bite of whatever was on his plate. It was a momentary lapse of judgment that, at the sight of the expression that crossed his face immediately afterward, was a big mistake.
Yoh, meanwhile, shrugged ambivalently. "Gee, you know, I like candy as much as the next guy, but if I wanted chocolate so bad, I'd just buy a bar or two and spare myself the arguing."
"That's not the point!" a voice called out, and at first Yoh thought one of the two quarreling classmates had uttered it, but it was Manta who continued, "They're symbolic! Not to mention homemade..."
"You can make chocolate at home? That's amazing," Yoh replied, his voice as well as his gaze trailing off into the bustle around him.
"Well, I didn't make it, technically," Chiemi admitted, still looking amused at her two classmates' continuing argument. "I bought some Toblerone bars and melted them. You can pour it into a mold."
Yoh winced. "Eww, moldy chocolate. Maybe I'm glad no girl gave me any."
"Not that kind of mold," Chiemi said. She shook her head, but smiled as she did so. "It's kind of a plastic shell that the chocolate cools off in, that gives it a neat shape. Teddy bears. Hearts. Whatever. Then when it's not totally melted, but still soft, you can kind of sculpt little swirls or a message or something in it."
"Sounds like a lot of work," Yoh opined. "But then, you always have been the artsy type. I bet yours turned out great!"
Chiemi smirked dismissively, but from the way she suddenly broke eye contact with Yoh it was obvious his praise embarrassed her. "Yeah, it was loads of work. If you heat it too much it hardens into caramel and sticks to the pan like crazy! Not to mention the smell. And I used white chocolate and food coloring to make pink hearts, but white chocolate's totally different..." She tore open her carton of milk for emphasis. "Not something I'd want to do again. Even if I am, as you say, 'the artsy type.'"
"So why'd you put yourself through all that, then?" Yoh looked at the little box with a new reverence, knowing now the work that went into its contents.
"Some people are worth that extra effort, you know?" If Chiemi was a bit bashful earlier, she was in full-blown embarrassment now. Her brown eyes peered out flightily from above fiery red cheeks.
"Who's the lucky guy?" Yoh wanted to ask, but he didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable. Instead he said, "Whoever you made them for is real lucky."
Though he thought he hid his bitterness well enough, Chiemi was perceptive. "Hey! It's okay. You can't really be a" – she made air quotes with her fingers as she spoke the next word – "'playa' anyway. You have Anna! You gotta admit that makes you pretty lucky yourself."
Is our relationship really common knowledge already? Yoh wondered. "She didn't give me anything. Valentine's Day is one of those holidays she would rather pretend didn't exist. Which is great, since she's so loving on an everyday basis."
Yoh thought his sarcasm was so thick that it was now dripping on the floor, but after blinking hard he saw it was just milk dribbling down from Chiemi's chin. "Aw, c'mon, cheer up! Look at it this way." She put the milk carton down and picked up the box of chocolates. "I had to work my ass off to make this, and I still could get rejected. But you don't have to make anything or worry about being shot down!"
Yoh nodded, but his eyes wandered around the cafeteria. He wondered what it felt like to be given chocolates by a pretty girl who was eager to take a chance on a handsome boy. He envied the couples who were already going steady and took the holiday as an opportunity to bask in their affection for one another. He wished he could be that guy who held his girlfriend's hand as they enjoyed lunch together. Just once he wanted to glance about the room furtively and, when no one was looking, dart in towards Anna's face for a quick kiss...
He knew it would never happen, and watching the cavorting couples in the cafeteria did nothing to improve his mood. "Oh well. Like I said, I'll just swing by the convenience store and pick up a couple of Hershey's bars." Yoh still hadn't touched his food, but he figured by looking over at Manta's still nearly untouched meal he wasn't missing out on much. He wouldn't have time to eat much of it even if he wanted to, though. The crowded cafeteria was beginning to thin out as the end of lunch break drew closer. He took a halfhearted bite and shuddered involuntarily.
"I know, right? What is this shit?"Manta asked. It was rare to hear him curse, and Yoh took notice.
"Yeah, this … is just that bad. Well, Chiemi, good luck with your boyfriend-to-be, I'm sure he'd love the chocolates. God knows I would."
Chiemi looked like she wanted to say more, but she just nodded. "Thanks. You'll be fine, Yoh. Trust me."
"Okay, class, let's take a look at number six. 'Michiko and Kenji go to the movies. At the concession stand Michiko buys three pretzels and two chocolate bars' – "
Really? Yoh thought angrily. Even my math textbook is out to get me...I bet they saw a really shitty movie anyway. Serves him right, that chocolate-getting bastard.
" – 'and pays a total of 1700 yen. Kenji buys one pretzel and three chocolate bars' – "
What a dick! Like the two bars she's giving you aren't enough! I hate you, Kenji, I hope they kill you off in the next edition of this textbook.
" – 'which cost a total of 1500 yen. Find the price of one pretzel and one chocolate bar.'"
I'll tell you the price of a chocolate bar! YOUR SOUL! Was it worth it, Kenji? Huh?
"So, class, how do we go about solving this? Yes, Ito? … Yes, very good. If we let, say, p represent the cost of a pretzel and c the cost of a chocolate bar, then using the information provided in the story problem, we can create a system of equations like so."
As Mrs. Higashiyama, the math sensei, began writing out 3p + 2c = 1700 and p + 3c = 1500 on the chalkboard, the class came alive. Yoh saw a hastily scrawled note being passed rapidly towards the back of the room. He saw a few hands interlocking under desks and more than one kiss.
The display did nothing to ease his feelings at the moment.
"Say we wanted to solve this by elimination. Takebayashi, would you care to demonstrate?"
I could solve this by elimination, all right. Kenji + Me With A Semiautomatic Firearm = problem solved by 'elimination.' That jerkoff.
"While he works that out, why don't we have another student show the rest of us how it would look solved via substitution. Let's see..."
Okay, Higashiyama, here's how it goes. Substitute me for that Kenji assface. And substitute Anna for Michiko. And make them go to a good movie. One where the good guy has a girlfriend who gives him some fucking chocolate on Valentine's Day!
"...Er, Asakura, is everything all right?"
Yoh was really getting himself worked up. He snapped back to reality and looked down at his clenched fists. He could feel the heat of his rage billowing off his chest and face.
"Um...Yeah, I was just..." What excuse could I possibly make for looking super pissed off in the middle of math class? "Y'know, teenage angst and all. Sorry."
"Ah. And it being Valentine's and everything. I understand. Say no more. Why, I myself spent far too many February fourteenths alone in my youth, and I ended up fine...But I digress."
I'm going to end up becoming a high school math teacher? Oh Lord, maybe I should solve myself by elimination instead...
"Right, so we multiply three through the entire equation, just like Takebayashi did here, and end up with 3p + 9c = 4500. Then we subtract and, once we flip the signs, 7c = 2800. A chocolate bar is four hundred yen. Well done, Takebayashi."
It costs a lot more than that.
"Well, class dismissed. Have a safe Valentine's Day. And I'm sure they taught you in health class all about being safe."
Yoh trudged numbly to his locker, keeping his head down as he did so. Looking up to see the hallway hijinks was too much for him to stand. He could still hear the giggles and lip-smackings of blossoming love, though. It was with great vindictiveness that he wrenched his locker open and greedily yanked his orange headphones out. He put them on defiantly and headed for the school's front entrance, his arms crossed tightly.
When he was just two steps short of leaving the building, a hand on his shoulder stopped him.
He turned around deliberately, not lifting his gaze from the floor.
"Anna!"
"Why are you so surprised? Were you expecting your valentine or something?"
Despite his anger he could not bring himself to reply to Anna's smart remark with one of his own. He uncrossed his arms. Anna tucked a folded paper into the crook of his left arm, which now hung limply at his side.
"It's a shopping list and some money. Keep your receipts so I know you went to the right stores. If you're going to get home later than eight-thirty, don't bother coming back at all."
Yoh stood dumbly upon the steps of the school, staring at her shrinking figure.
"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Anna."
He sighed a long, hopeless sigh.
Then he did the only thing he knew how to do whenever Anna was concerned:
Obey.
He withdrew the folded sheet of paper. Tucked inside was a pair of crisp thousand-yen bills. The unfolded paper itself was more of a map than a shopping list, with just a few lines of writing. A few of the locations on the map were highlighted in yellow. Yoh couldn't help but notice they were scattered all over town.
"God, this is going to take forever. At least I have until 8:30, but...Look at all this stuff! It's so random, too. We need a computer! She could just buy all this online."
Indeed, the things Anna requested were esoteric, to say the least. Yet the indomitable spirit that made him a respectable shaman meant he wouldn't give up, even if it seemed to him a fool's errand. With a resolved, if heavy, heart, he made his way to the first yellow dot on his map...
The many shopping bags suspended from both his arms were a burden that was impossible to ignore, but at least Yoh had planned his route after the first couple shops to minimize travel time. He had procured every last item on Anna's list, but it was now a race against time. A glance at his Oracle Pager told him he had just ten minutes to return home. Running was always an option, but Yoh opted not to; there were too many fragile objects in his bags, like the vial of nail polish that was precisely the same shade as Anna's bandana, or the four-inch blown glass sphere. Rather, he power-walked, a choice that made him look kind of silly, but at least made it much less likely that he would break something.
You know, the best part of this is, I still need to cook dinner after all of this.
Ohh, dinner. I'm so friggin' hungry. I dunno what the hell they served us for lunch, but I'd gladly eat a plateful of it right about now. 'Course, I had no idea I'd be doing the Supermarket Shuffle today, did I?
Yoh's fantasizing about finally getting some food in his belly helped him pick up the pace, and with a couple of minutes to spare, he made it to Funbari Hill. His home neighborhood looked so tranquil in the twilight, but this was no time to enjoy a leisurely stroll. He didn't even pause to wonder why, here and there, a husband, wife, or child might have pushed aside the curtains to glance out the window at the weird kid with the blazing orange headphones and about ten plastic bags streaming from his arms.
At eight-thirty sharp, Yoh stepped into his home. A rustling filled the air as several plastic bags slumped to the floor. Yoh closed his eyes as he tried to rub some feeling back into his tired arms.
"Anna! I'm –"
"Right here," came the reply, and so she was.
Right there.
This was not at all usual. Without exception, Yoh could find Anna either sitting on the couch watching TV, or doing whatever it is she did in her room, when he came home.
"Oh...er, there you are," Yoh said, taken for a loop. "I guess you must be really excited to see the stuff you wanted me to buy..."
Anna smiled thinly. A light was on in the kitchen – another oddity – and the residual brightness it cast illuminated her face in a dull glow that was just light enough to admire it by. She knelt to retrieve the bags, one by one. Then she got up, stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, and turned around.
Yoh's eyes never wavered from her.
"Close."
"Huh?"
"You said that you think I must be excited to see the stuff you bought. And I said, that's close."
She rummaged through the many plastic bags and plucked an item out here and there.
"I'm excited to see..."
Anna motioned Yoh over into the light of the kitchen.
"You, silly."
It was hard to say what took his breath away at that moment: her admission, or the sight that lay before him on the kitchen countertop.
She cooked?
Anna squeezed his hand tight within hers – another action that left him rather short of breath – and led him to the table.
"Well done, I have to admit. I was afraid this crazy shopping list might not buy me enough time, but it was perfect!"
Yoh was too shocked – no, too delighted – to care much that the shopping list had been one giant red herring. "I should've known! You never wear nail polish."
"That's actually one of the few useful things I made you buy," Anna said. It could fairly be said that Anna was the type to delight in others' suffering; but in this moment, she seemed to be reveling in Yoh's shock. His eyes indecisively roved back and forth, between the banquet laid out on the table and the joyous face of Anna.
"I can't believe you thought I was ignoring Valentine's Day just because I didn't get you chocolates," she said as she unscrewed the cap on the nail polish.
Yoh did feel a little stupid for making such a big deal about it. "Wait, how'd you know I thought that?"
"You were talking to Chiemi about it. I couldn't help but hear, your table was right in front of mine."
"Oh." The two arguing classmates in front of him at lunch had distracted him so much he never thought to look behind him.
"Anyway. You know me, Yoh. This whole holiday pisses me off. It's just an excuse for candy companies and greeting card companies to get rich off something that already makes everyone who has it wealthy beyond their wildest dreams."
Yoh was almost too busy staring at the casserole that sat at the center of the table to hear her. The tomato slices that garnished it had been arranged into a heart. "Oh. You mean love."
Anna gave a start. She was convinced that he had only been half-listening at best. "Yeah. And that's why I didn't get you a worthless card or some mass-produced chocolate. I hope you understand."
Yoh said nothing – he simply watched Anna as she applied nail polish to the other item she had withdrawn from the shopping bags – the little glass globe. When she was done, she blew on it and set it down on the table.
Once it was in place, covering a lighted candle, he realized what it was.
The candle flame flickered within the globe. Anna's nail polish cast a faint pink shadow on the wall in the shape of a heart.
Anna drew a step closer to Yoh. Half the heart shadow was now upon her chest.
Yoh drew a step closer to Anna. The other half danced upon his shirt.
Anna looked down. Yoh looked, too.
She reached out and rested a warm palm on Yoh's chest. "Our hearts..."
Yoh, all nervousness forgotten – obliterated – by Anna's touch, reached out his palm as well. "...United as one."
Tentatively, Yoh wrapped his other arm around Anna's back. She pressed her body against his. "You're amazing, Anna." He was surprised at the softness of his voice. "And I didn't even get you anything for this special day."
"Considering how hard I work you, I'd say we're about even."
Anna couldn't see it because her head was firmly nestled under his chin, but Yoh smiled. "Wait. I lied. I got you something after all."
This got her attention. Anna's head moved back, hoping to catch a glimpse of this surprise.
It was all the opportunity Yoh needed.
His lips were upon hers in a flash, and she was too stunned to reciprocate – but only for an instant. Soon Anna's lips joined in, but Yoh's enthusiasm overpowered her. She felt the kitchen countertop pressing at her back, and Yoh's rapidly breathing chest pressing at her front, and felt smothered. But being smothered in love was a pleasant way to go, and she yielded herself to it. His hands were caressing her sides and then her shoulders; they brushed at her neck; they nuzzled her cheeks. Anna was once again blindsided by this raw torrent of passion from the young man who was ordinarily so meek and obedient – but not so much as to miss what he said once his lips were finally free.
"I love you, Anna. More than anything."
The dizziness she still felt from his intense kiss told her beyond a doubt that this was the truth.
"I love you too, Yoh."
Anna looked down. She frowned. "Oh, boy."
Yoh didn't have to look. He blushed madly. "Sorry..."
"Don't be sorry. I should've put one more item on the shopping list..."
She whispered it into his ear. It was his turn to feel lightheaded...
Happy Valentine's Day!
If you plan on having a "very special" Valentine's Day, make sure to put one more very special item on your shopping list! Be safe!
This message brought to you by Kefra.