My darling readers:
Well, this is it. This is the final prompt chapter of the train ride that has been Kiss. We stand here with 232 chapters behind us, bringing us to a grand total of 234 tomorrow, a number I never could have reached without your support, prompting and love. There is still one more chapter to go but it's an epilogue so I thought I'd do the mammoth authors note on this chapter since it is really the final one.
I want to give a few special mentions so bear with me.
First, to Kasumi the Stargazer for giving me the first three prompts that kicked this whole thing off - without you, I wouldn't have a story. And extra special mentions to Chasing Aspirations and XxLittleAngelxX who I knew would, without a doubt, review every single chapter within a few hours of posting. These three have also connected with me on a personal level via Tumblr and I feel honored to call all of them my friends. Naomi, Angel and Jordyn, I hope our friendship stays on beyond this story and I love you all so much.
MusicalEscape has been working with me (in a sense) since about Chapter 75 to write her version of my stories which has been in the bottom of every single Authors Note without fail. She's brought an extra element of humor to my stories and I owe her a huge thank you for that.
I also owe a huge thank you to Angela, aka SquirrelzAttack for faithfully editing every chapter from about chapter 25 onwards, as well as many of my other stories. We've done a long haul together and it's been so wonderful :) she's just an amazing girl who has not only helped me with my stories, but has been a brilliant friend to me, no matter how many thousand miles apart we are. And I know that friendship will go beyond this story and beyond any other story I write.
To all of you who have messaged me, those who have given me reviews, those who have read silently and never acknowledged their presence but have still been there, those who have followed from day one or those who read it all in one hit, thank you a million times over.
To those whose prompts I couldn't do, I am sorry. I hope that you can write them yourselves - and if you do, tell me, I'd love to read them :) - or someone else will write them for you. But thank you for all the love nonetheless. And to those whose reviews I couldn't reply to, just know that I read every single one.
There is a poll going up soon, thanks to the tireless help of a few of my readers who volunteered for this task a few months ago now, to figure out which chapter of Kiss is the ultimate number one favorite chapter. Please do vote on that, I'd love to know.
The final prompt comes from MispentYouth: When they are older, they are both reminiscing about their first kiss and think about other firsts in their life.
I hope this final prompt chapter does the story justice.
Firsts
Do not open until 7pm on Thursday 21st August.
Blaine glanced at the clock, sighing when he saw 6:48 flashing back at him. Technically he could open the letter now but he knew Kurt would know if he did - Kurt always knew. Part of that was due to the years they had been together, but really Kurt had known him that well since day one. And not just day one of their relationship or day one of their marriage, but day one of meeting one another on that staircase at Dalton Academy. It sounded crazy but they knew. They had always known.
He wasn't going to cry, Blaine told himself sternly. He had cried enough over the past few months; mainly over little things like saying goodnight to Kurt on the phone and then not being able to hold him in his arms, hearing that Kurt had had an awful day and not being there to take care of him, and that awful moment when he had gotten the phone call saying Holly was in the hospital with a broken arm and he couldn't be there, couldn't do anything.
They both knew it was the price to pay but it was times like these that being famous really sucked.
Blaine had been on his first official world tour for one and a half months now - long long months with thankfully only a week to go. He was currently in New Zealand, having arrived from his week in Australia yesterday and preparing for his first performance tomorrow. Covering Australasia had been a risk but it had paid off - apparently fans 'down under' were thrilled that they finally got someone headlining in their area and the tickets had sold out long before he had even started his tour back in Europe.
Kurt had worked out the time differences, of course. It was currently four in the morning in New York so Blaine couldn't even call Kurt to share the contents of the letter with him. They had spoken briefly late in Kurt's last night and Blaine would call him again tomorrow but to not be able to talk to Kurt today was probably the worst.
Today was their five year wedding anniversary.
It had almost caused a fight between them when Blaine had come home almost a year ago and told Kurt the dates for his tour. He had been so excited about planning it that he hadn't even realized until Kurt had flatly informed him that their wedding anniversary was right in the middle of those dates. It was only the fact that Blaine had immediately wanted to change it or call it off completely that had kept Kurt from being angry - he truly hadn't even realized otherwise he never would have agreed.
Of course they hadn't called it off. Kurt insisted on Blaine going - this would be amazing for his career and Kurt would never do anything to hold Blaine back, just like Blaine would never have taken the tour if it would have interfered with Kurt's career. But Fashion Week had just finished and Kurt was back to casual designing for the next few months, perfectly able to look after their daughter while Blaine headed off to tour.
So here Blaine was, in an unfamiliar hotel room, watching a clock slowly tick over the minutes, clasping an envelope from his husband in his hands. Waiting.
Seven pm.
Trembling slightly, Blaine slit open the envelope, unfolded the letter and began to read.
My dearest Blaine,
If I were here saying this to you, this would be the time I would tell you to close your eyes but you can't exactly read the letter that way so I just want you to use that wonderful memory and imagination of yours and paint some scenes for me. Okay?
"Okay," Blaine said out loud before chuckling at himself.
You just agreed out loud, didn't you?
Blaine laughed again. "Kurt Anderson-Hummel, you know me too well."
And yes, I know you too well. But enough mind reading otherwise you'll start thinking this is Tom Riddle's diary and see what you make me resort to? I was never such a nerd before I met you.
But then, I was never a lot of things before I met you. You made me a better person - sometimes I try to think back to what I was like in my sophomore year and I can hardly do it. I was selfish, stubborn, too afraid to be myself let alone stand up for others. I thought I was the most amazing thing to ever happen to this world and I feel naive looking back on it because no way is any of that true. I know I used most of that to hide my fears.
And then you came along and taught me that it's okay to be afraid but to do something about that fear. You taught me to stand up for myself, you taught me to be a part of the team and you taught me how to give up myself and my heart even though I'd only ever been hurt before. And I am so thankful every single day that I did.
Oh god, he was tearing up already.
It had always been so hard for them to hear the other talk about their past, mainly because they had both been hurt so badly and both couldn't stand to know that somebody had hurt the person they loved. Blaine knew they would always carry the scars of their past but Kurt had helped him heal the open wounds a long time ago and had told him that Blaine had done the same for him.
Even still, as much as Blaine knew Kurt was okay now, all he wanted was to wrap his husband in his arms and hold him tight until the pain was gone for good.
But enough about that. Today is meant to be a day of celebration!
Five years ago today, you and I changed from Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson to Kurt and Blaine Anderson-Hummel. Physically that didn't change a lot; we were already living together and had been living as a married couple does for the past three years anyway. But legally we could now officially say that we are committed solely to one another and staying that way for the rest of our lives. Plus, we get a kickass last name.
Blaine had never been more thankful for the privacy of his own hotel room - a combination of slowly escaping tears and sporadic snorts of laughter probably would have scared anybody away at this point. But Kurt had always had a knack of messing with Blaine's emotions in the best way possible.
Just another reason he loved him.
All up, you and I have been together for eleven years. That's about ten and a half years longer than anybody expected us to last. We were high school sweethearts, each other's first boyfriend, boyfriends in a controversial homophobic town… how were we meant to last?
It was - and still is - love. That's how we lasted.
You were my first everything, Blaine. Every first that meant anything to me was given by you and for that I owe you everything and will continue to give you everything. Forever, because you are mine forever and I am yours forever. And I can never understand why there are people out there scared of commitment, people who would rather live their lives in flings and one night stands because they don't want to settle down. I think monogamy is the most romantic thing alive and I know you feel the same.
Five years of marriage and this is the first anniversary we've been apart. But do you remember our first anniversary?
How could he forget?
He was in the studio when Kurt's text had come through. They had missed each other that morning, Kurt already being gone for the day when Blaine had woken up. It was a common occurrence but Blaine had been disappointed nonetheless because they had always loved anniversaries and he had at least hoped to see Kurt before they had gone their separate ways for the day.
I'm going to be running late tonight but I'll pick up something for dinner on my way home. And I left those returns in your car, do you think you could run them to the mall for me? Love you. - K xx
Well, that was anticlimactic. Blaine frowned down at the message, trying to work out what was going on. Had Kurt forgotten what today was? Should he text back and remind him?
No.
Instead Blaine sent off a quick confirmation before returning to his tracks. He had another three hours of studio time before a meeting with his publicist for Friday's gig which would get him out of the office by four. Add in half an hour to stop by the mall and he could be home in time to at least try to set something romantic up for Kurt.
Of course nothing ever went to plan and at five pm, Blaine found himself at the end of a long line of people who had all suddenly decided that a Wednesday afternoon was the perfect day to try and return all of their unwanted belongings. He would be more annoyed but considering he was there as well, Blaine really had no complaining rights.
Instead he simply gritted his teeth and bore it, texting Mike as he waited to make plans for a dance class that weekend. His publicists had kindly told him that his moves weren't quite up to speed (just something else to add to his less than perfect afternoon) and so Blaine figured calling in the expert was the best way to go.
Quarter to six had a tired Blaine climbing the stars to their apartment - of course the elevator would be out again - rubbing the bridge of his nose. He had vaguely registered Kurt's car in the parking garage and realized that his plans of making a nice evening probably weren't going to happen. Not that he had many any plans in particular anyway; in fact, the only plans on Blaine's agenda were a long shower and bed. After all, if Kurt had forgotten their anniversary then why should he have to put extra effort in?
The flat was mostly dark when he arrived but flickering light was emanating from the dining room, confusing Blaine. If the lightbulb was playing up he definitely wasn't going to fix it tonight but it didn't seem like a lightbulb. It was like it was… moving?
"Kurt?"
"Through here," came his husband's voice from the dining room and Blaine felt an involuntary smile tug at his lips. No matter his mood, just hearing Kurt's voice had always helped. A rant on the tip of his tongue - because yeah, it really had ended up being one of those days - Blaine dropped his bag on the ground and crossed the room to look into the dining room and see…
Oh.
Holy crap.
"Kurt?" he asked again, shaking his head a little because no, this wasn't right. Kurt had forgotten about their anniversary, Kurt had been working late and was picking up takeout.
Kurt hadn't come home early to set up a romantic evening.
"Happy anniversary, sweetheart," Kurt said softly, crossing the room to take Blaine's hands. "You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you?"
"I, um -" Blaine ducked his head, not wanting to admit it.
Kurt laughed. "That was the plan. Did I surprise you?" Blaine nodded dumbly and Kurt laughed again, kissed him quickly then gestured to the table. "Come on."
Blaine came to his senses about halfway through the meal. "Best husband ever," he informed a smirking Kurt. "I love you."
"I love you too. And I hope I'm the only husband ever."
"You will be," Blaine promised. "Happy first anniversary."
Call me cruel but I just love surprising you like that. I think you put it best when you say I always zig when you think I'm about to zag - I'm waiting for the day that you successfully predict something I'm going to do though a part of me hopes that day never comes.
And it was true - five years of marriage and Kurt still had the ability to throw Blaine for a complete loop.
Blaine seriously would not have it any other way.
He took a moment to get himself settled more comfortably on the bed, tucking his knees up to his chest. It was difficult, being alone for so long, especially when he got parts of Kurt but not all of him. He could talk to Kurt or read his words but he couldn't hold him or actually be with him on a day that meant so much to them. Ever since that first anniversary they had always made a huge deal of their wedding anniversary, always trying to outshine the other year by year. And this year was Kurt's year and even though they were thousands of miles apart, Kurt was still winning.
Kurt always won and Blaine could never ever bring himself to care.
It wasn't long after that when we experienced another first - the one that I had sworn would never happen and the one that you had absolutely no idea how to deal with. That said neither did I, but like I told you that was the first time I had gotten sick since Freshman year of high school.
Needless to say, in hindsight our worry was actually kind of cute. Especially yours.
Blaine couldn't agree more.
Kurt was throwing up.
Somehow Blaine had already made it to the bathroom door before his brain had even woken up properly, so the first sight he actually took in that morning was of his husband hunched over the toilet, deathly pale and wiping the sweat off his forehead. "Kurt?" he asked, trying not to let on how scared he was because this was something he had never seen before and had absolutely no idea how to handle it.
"Oh god, Blaine, don't," Kurt muttered. "Please, just go back to bed, I'm totally fine."
"Like hell you're fine," Blaine argued, knowing his filter was generally broken of a morning and grateful for that for once because he could actually say what Kurt needed to hear. "Considering I woke up to you vomiting, I -"
"Please, please do not use that word."
Blaine winced. "Sorry," he said meekly. "But Kurt, you're not okay and you're not going to get me to leave you like this."
Kurt leaned back against the counter, wiping his mouth. "But I look terrible, I know I'm all pale and ghastly and seeing the person you love throwing up is absolutely not romantic at all and -"
"Hey," Blaine said firmly. "Enough of that. The person I love is sick and that is all that matters to me right now. For the record you're still gorgeous but even if you weren't, I would still not be anywhere else but taking care of you." He crossed the room and dropped to his knees next to Kurt, taking him in. "How long have you been in here?"
"About twenty minutes. I woke up feeling just awful and I came in here for a glass of water and sat down and then couldn't get back up."
Blaine's heart stopped at that. "You couldn't get back up? What do you mean? Are your legs alright, can you feel them? Oh god, do I need to call an ambulance, I should have already called an ambulance, I'm going to -"
As he moved to stand, Kurt's arm caught his wrist. "Don't," he said, his voice tired. "I was just dizzy. There's nothing wrong with my legs or any part of me except my stomach and my head."
He was helpless, simply watching as Kurt wrapped his arms around his stomach with a groan and ducked his head. "What do you - I mean, is there anything I can do?"
"I don't know, I -" Kurt cut himself off, closing his eyes and pressing the back of his hand to his mouth. A second later he was pitching forward and Blaine closed his eyes, not because he couldn't handle the vomit but because he couldn't handle seeing Kurt like this. His hand found Kurt's back and rubbed circles until Kurt straightened up, trembling. "I hate this."
Blaine reached for the water glass and helped Kurt rinse his mouth out. The shaking hadn't stopped and Kurt was hot to the touch and this could actually be serious and why hadn't he done anything useful yet? "Are you alright for a minute? I'm going to make a phone call and grab a few things."
"Okay," Kurt murmured and Blaine stood. Dragging himself away from Kurt was pure torture but if this was something that required medical attention then he needed to do it. Grabbing his phone, Blaine called Wes while he dug through the medicine cabinet in the kitchen.
"Blaine? It's like, two in the morning, what's wrong?"
Blaine winced again but couldn't feel too guilty because Kurt. "Kurt's sick," he rushed out, finally find the thermometer. "He's throwing up and really warm and dizzy and he's never been like this before and I don't know what to do and -"
"Okay," Wes cut in and Blaine silenced immediately. Years of Warbler practice meant he knew to stop talking the second that tone was used. "You need to start by staying calm because you can do nothing for him if you're panicked. Chances are it's just a virus - there's a 24 hour bug going around at the moment that he could have caught. Did he eat anything different yesterday?"
Blaine thought. "No," he said after running through their meals. "Same as usual."
"Then it's probably just the virus. Take his temperature and if it's above 103 or he starts getting worse, get him to the hospital. Otherwise try and get fluids in him, keep him comfortable and when he's not nauseous anymore, simple food like dry toast to see if he can keep it down." Wes's voice softened. "He's going to be fine, Blaine. You know Kurt, always a fighter."
"I know." Blaine let out a shaky exhale, feeling some of the tension seep away. "Thanks Wes."
"Call me back if you need anything."
Grabbing the thermometer, Blaine quickly returned to the bedroom and took a pillow and their throw blanket off the bed before returning to the bathroom where Kurt was still resting against the counter, eyes closed. "Babe?" he asked softly.
"Mm?"
"Still feel bad?"
Kurt cracked open an eye tiredly. "I can't remember the last time I felt like this, Blaine."
His voice was almost a whine and Blaine just wanted to hug him but knew that was probably a bad idea - even though he would almost definitely get whatever it was if it was contagious, there was no point in tempting fate. "Here," he said instead, sitting next to Kurt and holding up the pillow. "Lean forward for me."
"The room's spinning," Kurt complained as Blaine helped him lean forward and eased the pillow behind his head. "I don't like it."
"I know you don't," Blaine said soothingly. "I'm just going to take your temperature, okay?"
He pressed the strip to Kurt's forehead, praying that the bars wouldn't climb to the top. "Is it bad?" Kurt asked after a few seconds of silence and the worry in his voice was obvious.
"101," Blaine said with a sigh of relief. "We don't need to go to the hospital. Now, do you think you're up to moving to the bed or -"
"No," Kurt said quickly. "Just the thought of moving makes me want to be sick again."
"Okay," Blaine said, wrapping the blanket around Kurt. "We'll just stay here, that's alright."
"You don't have to -"
"Don't even think about trying to make me leave."
Kurt sighed in what Blaine knew was a mixture of exasperation and relief, his head dropping to rest on Blaine's shoulder. Forgetting his earlier resolve, Blaine wrapped his arm gently around Kurt's back, allowing his husband to cuddle into him to his heart's content.
It never ceased to amaze him that the strongest man he had ever met still relied on him sometimes.
And naturally you got sick the next day and I completely understood your panic.
You know, people keep talking about falling more in love with a person every single day. I don't think that's the case, because I got to the point where I knew I loved you with my whole heart many years ago. I think it's just about finding different ways to love you every day and loving you when you're sick is one of those.
Loving you when we're both angry is another we definitely know well. Obviously we've argued many times over the little things as every couple does - and I still regret selling all of my copies of Vogue that I apparently didn't need, just by the way -
"This again?" Blaine muttered before catching himself and rolling his eyes. It was true, they would argue over the stupidest of little things and sometimes Blaine just wanted to tear his hair out and let Kurt have it with both barrels.
That said, making up was always the best.
and those arguments just make us work out how to love one another better in my opinion.
But I definitely could have gone on quite happily without… that.
Oh yes. That.
Blaine wasn't sure how it had come to this - Kurt at one end of the room, him at the other, both with fits clenched and glaring daggers and Kurt screaming at him - but his mind wasn't exactly working rationally enough to care.
"You are not even close to perfect, Kurt, so don't you dare try to pin all of this on me!"
"I feel a damn lot closer than you right now! Honestly, Blaine, what were you thinking? Did you honestly think I could cheat on you?"
Oh right. That was what had caused it all.
"Well you looked like you were flirting, that much is for sure! What kind of conversation involves brushing someone's hair out of their eyes for them, huh?"
Kurt threw up his hands in frustration, actually growling at Blaine. "You are driving me crazy! Can't you take my word for it? I thought you trusted me!"
"Of course I trust you, I don't trust him!"
"And you don't trust that I can take care of it, that if he was flirting that I would put a stop to it?"
Blaine sighed angrily. "You didn't even notice he was flirting until I told you!"
"He wasn't flirting!" Kurt stomped his foot, an action that would have been cute if they weren't currently fighting. "Oh my god, you are insufferable! I don't even know why I married you!"
Blaine froze as Kurt stormed past him and out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. He couldn't even flinch at the noise, completely stunned.
I don't even know why I married you.
Somehow he found a chair to collapse into, staring blankly at the wall because yes, he had been angry too but never once had it gotten to the stage where he had regretted being married to Kurt. He regretted the fight - and a brief glance at the wall revealed they had been at it for close to an hour, holy hell - regretted freaking out so much over Tobias and okay, not trusting Kurt like he should have, but never had the thought of not wanting to be married to Kurt crossed his mind.
Blaine tried to tell himself that it was just said in anger, that of course Kurt loved him and still wanted to be his husband but it was a lot harder to do that when Kurt had just walked out and he now had no idea when he was going to return. If he was going to return.
Time passed. He wasn't even sure how long but eventually Blaine managed to drag himself to bed, forcing himself not to look at the clock. Kurt had left at seven and he didn't want to know how long his husband had been gone. All he wanted to do was sleep and wake up in the morning with Kurt beside him again so they could talk about it and apologize and make up and everything would be fine. Everything had to be fine because Blaine couldn't lose Kurt. Not over this, not over anything.
He was sure he hadn't gotten more than a few restless hours but when Blaine awoke the sun was shining, his eyes were red and swollen and Kurt wasn't in bed with him.
Kurt wasn't back.
Blaine shot out of bed, grabbing his phone as fast as he could because anything could have happened to Kurt last night and no matter how mad Blaine was he should have gone after him especially since Kurt hadn't taken his car keys and oh god this was so much worse than the fight and -
Kurt's pillow was missing.
Blaine let out a shaky breath because at least Kurt was okay. He forced himself to calm down before dealing with the next issue at hand - this had never happened before. They had gone to bed upset with one another in the past but they had always gone to bed together, talked it out or at least sorted it out in the morning when they were both calmer.
Never ever had they asked the other to sleep on the couch or felt like they needed to. The bed was theirs to share and no matter what had happened in the past, they never lost that.
Apparently this was different.
Quietly, Blaine slipped out of the bedroom door and down the hall to the living room before stopping in the doorway, not sure if he could physically move.
Kurt was curled in a ball on the couch under one of the spare blankets, eyes squeezed shut as if he had forced himself to fall asleep. His face was still blotchy, a clear sign that he had been crying a lot for a long time and this was pretty much the worst because Kurt was hurting and yes, he had hurt Blaine but still. This couldn't go on.
He found himself sitting next to the couch by Kurt's head, gently coaxing one of Kurt's hands out so he could take hold of it. Kurt's fingers laced in his immediately even in sleep and Blaine had to smile because there really was no separating them and any fears he had harbored of Kurt really not wanting him vanished. If Kurt had been angry, Blaine would have known it was his fault but this was clearly Kurt beating himself up.
It was time for that to stop.
Blaine began to press kisses to Kurt's face starting at the forehead and working down. By the time he was kissing Kurt on the tip of his nose his husband was opening his eyes, clearly a struggle since they were as bloodshot as Blaine's. "Hey," Blaine said simply, kissing him lightly on the lips before rocking back on his heels. "Why're you on the couch, beautiful?"
Kurt was never at his best in the morning but his confusion was justified this time. "I - Blaine? I thought you were mad at me?"
"You were the one who stormed out," Blaine said without thinking and Kurt flinched away from him. "Oh sweetheart, no, I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm not angry, okay? I'm upset and a little hurt and I want to get it all over with, but not angry."
"How can you not be angry after what I said?" Kurt sat up and Blaine could see the guilt in his expression and knew if Kurt were to continue this would get emotional fast. And yes, they should probably talk about it in detail and figure out how it happened so nothing like that could ever happen again but not now, not while it was clearly still so raw and painful for Kurt - for him too. For now, Kurt just needed to know that it was okay and he was forgiven and still loved.
"Did you mean it?"
"Of course not, but -"
"Are you sorry?"
"Yes, so much -"
"And so am I, for not trusting you completely and just letting you walk out instead of coming after you. And now that that's settled, I'm starving. Pancakes for breakfast sound good to you?"
Blaine had long enough to start pulling ingredients out of the cupboard before Kurt finally responded from the doorway. "You're just… forgiving me?"
"Pretty much." Blaine turned back to Kurt and took his hands. "Because I'm your husband and I promised to love you through the good and the bad and I intend to keep that. And even if I hadn't promised, I still would. Because I love you and I know sometimes you'll say things you don't mean, just like I will. The important thing is moving on from that and I don't want to dwell on it. I just - I want us to be okay."
He hadn't expected his voice to become so vulnerable at the end and clearly neither had Kurt. "Oh," he murmured. "Oh, Blaine, of course we're okay. We're always okay."
And god, all he wanted now was Kurt.
Of course that wasn't a change from the last few weeks but any time Blaine had to think about the one time Kurt had walked out on him, he just wanted to cry. They had been very lucky in their relationship and marriage considering that was their only proper fight but what most people didn't seem to get was that they couldn't afford to fight like that. Kurt's temperament was that he would snap easily and Blaine would fire up at first but quickly crumble and go along with whatever made Kurt happy. It was a combination for trouble and since neither could exactly live without the other in their life anymore, Blaine wasn't going to let it happen again.
It was their first real fight and Blaine was damn certain it was also their last.
And that was when he clicked on what Kurt was trying to do with this letter. On their first anniversary apart, Kurt was reminding him of all of the other firsts they had experienced together as a couple. It was simultaneously nostalgic - beautifully so - and painful. Their first anniversary apart shouldn't be something to add to the list, but yet here it was.
Blaine read on, suddenly eager to see what else Kurt had decided was worth a mention.
You've known me better than I know myself for a long time now - I can't even pinpoint when that happened. Sure, I still surprise you, but you seem to know what I want or need even before I can figure it out and the way you provide for me and look after me is the most beautiful thing in my life. This had always been my dream but it had been unrealistic, unattainable. Someone like you was never meant to love me.
I know now that's wrong. I know we were meant to love each other.
Running his thumb over the smudge on the page, Blaine laughed quietly. Apparently Kurt hadn't kept it together either.
And if that hadn't been clear all through high school and while we survived a year apart, it was made so on that first day you joined me in New York.
Kurt was in his final exam for the year when Blaine arrived at the apartment. Rachel let him in on her way out - she was flying back to Ohio that afternoon to spend some time with Finn before bringing him back with her after Christmas to celebrate New Year's in New York with them. Kurt would go back for Christmas too but not until the week before, leaving a good two weeks of time in New York.
Time that Kurt had thought he would be spending alone, getting the place ready for Blaine to move in after Christmas when they came together.
Blaine spun in a slow circle, taking in the small apartment. He had seen plenty of photos and even gotten a video tour via Skype, but there was nothing like seeing it for the first time properly. After all, this was his new home and Blaine wanted to make the most of it.
He tossed his bag in Kurt's bedroom - their bedroom - and took that in for a few moments too before returning to the kitchen and setting to work. Kurt would be home at four according to Rachel and Blaine was planning to have the place perfectly set up. Not with some romantic evening; there was plenty of time for those in the future once they were used to being together. No, tonight was about preparing for how things were to be.
At half past three a homemade pizza was sitting on the counter, music was playing and WALL-E (their all time guilty pleasure relaxation movie) was in the player, paused at the beginning. Everything was homely and comfortable and exactly what Blaine had wanted when the door opened, admitting his boyfriend. "Rachel? I thought you'd left already."
"She has, it's just me." Blaine poked his head out of the kitchen, smiling and trying not to let it turn into a smug grin when Kurt dropped his bag in shock. "I made pizza for dinner. How was school, sweetheart?"
Kurt caught on immediately. "Great now that exams are over. It sure is nice coming home to you, though."
Blaine held out a hand and Kurt took it, allowing himself to be drawn in and kissed. "Any chance you could run down to the store and grab some drinks? We seem to be out." The look he received was far more meaningful but Kurt agreed, heading back out the door. And by the time he had returned, dinner was ready and waiting, as was Blaine. They ate together, Kurt chatting about his exams, Blaine simply listening.
It was only when they were curled up on the couch together, Kurt half-asleep in his arms that it was finally acknowledged. "It is so good to finally have you here," Kurt murmured.
"Welcome to the rest of our lives," Blaine whispered back.
I love surprising you but I love being surprised by you more. And I always thought I was the silly romantic but you, Mr. Anderson-Hummel, are a hopeless romantic.
Is there such a thing as loving someone too much?
"No."
I didn't think so.
I love you in ways I never thought possible. I love you in the simple - coffee in the mornings, leaving an umbrella out on a rainy day for you, cooking your bacon for that extra twenty seconds because I know how you like it. I love you in the elaborate - the piano for your twenty first, flying to Paris for the weekend two years ago because we loved each other and could, our proposal -
Of course it didn't exactly count as a first because it was the only one, but Blaine still couldn't help but reminisce over the proposal. Kurt had been the one to do it and had timed it very well - another few days and Blaine would have started ring shopping. Of course they were always on the same wavelength.
They were in Ohio, visiting Kurt's family for a few days as they often did. Blaine loved it, loved seeing Kurt at ease with the people he loved and loved the acceptance he got from Kurt's family as well. This time Rachel was back with them as well and Mike and Tina were in town at the same time so they all convened at the Lima Bean, meeting up with Puck, Santana, Brittany and Quinn as well. Blaine had run into a few of the old Warbler boys on his way in as well and stopped to chat with them for a few moments before they took a seat at the next table over.
It was comfortable and homely and they rarely ever met up like this anymore and Blaine loved it.
Kurt insisted on ordering their coffees and took quite a bit longer than usual to return. Blaine, being caught up in talking with the others, barely noticed until Kurt was returning, placing his cup on the table in front of him with a sugar packet beside it. "Sorry, hands were full, couldn't put it in for you."
"That's alright," Blaine said absently, popping the lid off as he turned his attention back to Mike who was mid way through a story. "So what did she -?"
He froze.
There was no coffee in his cup. Instead, lifting the lid had revealed a string with a ring dangling off the end of it.
An engagement ring.
Blaine slowly turned to face Kurt who hadn't taken his seat. Instead of standing beside him, however, Kurt had dropped to one knee next to his chair, reaching out to take Blaine's free hand. "Blaine," he said quietly, his voice a beautiful mix of nervousness and excitement, "I love you. I can't and don't want to remember life without you and I don't ever want to let you go. So I want to make it official. Blaine Anderson -" Kurt suddenly broke off with a laugh. "Blaine Warbler," he corrected. "Will you marry me?"
"You're actually asking that question," Blaine stated flatly. Kurt's smile disappeared and he nodded, once, uncertainly. "You're asking that question like there's any answer I could give but yes."
"So," Kurt began slowly, his eyes lighting up again, "that's a…?"
"Yes!"
Kurt jumped to his feet, tugging Blaine with him and wrapping him in his arms, kissing him thoroughly. Applause broke out around them and then they were both grinning, laughing giddily to the point where they couldn't continue kissing and had to break away. The lid was still in Blaine's hand and Kurt unknotted the ring before slipping it onto Blaine's finger, running his thumb over it. "My fiance," he whispered.
Blaine kissed him again, letting it say everything words couldn't.
And I just love you in that way that words can't express. I can always feel it when you kiss me, right back even when we weren't calling it love.
But I can feel it a lot more when you and I make love. It's called that for a reason and I understand that reason now. Sex is about giving every part of yourself over to someone, leaving yourself completely vulnerable and open to anything. And if the person loves you back, then it's about getting love from that person too in such a strong way that again, no words can describe.
Our first time was perfect and I am so so glad it was with you.
They had gone back to Blaine's house - empty of course - after the play. They hadn't stopped touching either; holding hands on the drive over, kisses, brushing legs and bodies together as they climbed the stairs to Blaine's room. Just small ways to reassure themselves that they were both here and no matter what had happened the past few days, they were together.
Blaine had been terrified that he would lose Kurt over it. Waking up hungover had immediately sent off warning signals that he had screwed up and once he had sobered up and remembered, it was all Blaine could do not to leave, go back to Dalton and hide because of course Kurt would never want to talk to him again. Kurt loved romance and Blaine had tried to force him into sex in the backseat of his car.
But he had gone on, gone to school, prepared for opening night and worked his way through the performance which was truly the easiest thing of all. Slipping into the role of Tony meant he didn't have to be Blaine for a little while, didn't have to deal with the ways Blaine had screwed up.
And instead of the after party, he had elected to stay back and work on perfecting something he had gotten wrong, something he could actually fix with practice. At that point he was sure he would never be able to fix things with Kurt.
He should have known his boyfriend better.
So there they were, standing in Blaine's room and for all of Kurt's confidence there were still nervous vibes rolling off him and Blaine understood because this was actually huge. This was sex for the first time when they hadn't so much as touched one another yet - not like that anyway - and it had so much potential to be awkward and painful and embarrassing and something they would regret.
But Blaine couldn't focus on that. Instead he put a hand on Kurt's shoulder and turned to him calmly. "Do you want to top?"
Kurt burst into laughter. Not his usual easygoing laugh but high, almost hysterical and near unstoppable. Blaine pressed their foreheads together, waiting it out, knowing this was just Kurt's nerves leaving his system in the only way they could. "If there's any kind of bedroom etiquette, I think you just broke it," Kurt finally said and Blaine just smiled. "I don't know. I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing and this is our first time and I could just screw it all up really really badly."
"We're both virgins," Blaine said, his voice still calm even though his insides were twisting into a bundle of nerves themselves. "I've never done this either. But you seem to be more nervous than me so I think it's better if you take control."
"But I don't want to do this to you and hurt you and -"
"Okay hold on." Blaine stopped him, pulling away a little and taking him over to the bed, sitting them both down on the edge. "You aren't doing anything to me, just like I wouldn't be doing anything to you. We're doing this together. This is about both of us, okay?"
And Blaine watched as the last of Kurt's terror left his eyes. "Okay," he agreed.
Of course it wasn't perfect. There was awkwardness - how they would lie, how undressed they would get, working out how they both liked it, working up to the actual act of sex itself. There was pain but Blaine had expected that and ended up being the one coaxing Kurt through it while he adjusted. And then there was pleasure and abandonment of restraint and barriers and simple pure love.
And when Kurt finally turned to face him after they had both come down with the loveliest smile Blaine had ever seen, he knew there would be no regrets.
It wasn't perfect but it was perfect for them.
Whoever it was that said you never forget your first time was right. And I know even if we weren't together now, I would never forget that night. It was the night I knew we were inseparable.
Many people seemed to think we were, of course. I know my dad was worried about how strong our feelings seemed for each other, about how we used 'the L word' after only a few months of dating and of course the freak out when he found out that we were having sex. But that was just because his experiences with high school relationships were that it's about finding yourself, that the first relationship doesn't last and it's just the one to learn how others should work. So part of him thought I was going to get badly heartbroken and it would affect me for the rest my life, and the other part worried that I would break your heart. He's always liked you a lot.
New Directions didn't understand. I mean, of course Mike and Tina did but even they weren't each other's first partners. Nobody else in that group ended up with their first and only love and I think a few of them definitely saw us as naive, especially when you followed me to New York. Scratch that, I know it, because they came and told me on our wedding day and took it back.
The Warblers seemed fairly neutral - you'll know of their opinions better than I do - but obviously there was Sebastian who just didn't understand the beauty of a committed relationship. I'm glad he and Dave worked that out.
But we always knew. And that was all that mattered because nobody knew us like we knew each other. Nobody does.
Kurt's handwriting suddenly changed.
So it's been two hours and guess where I just went? Naturally over to Rachel and Finn's place to sort out yet another domestic and prevent Rachel from leaving.
Blaine rolled his eyes. He would say he could recall the day but unfortunately it was quite common for Rachel to threaten to leave Finn for being insensitive or for Finn to get irritated by Rachel's diva-ness and start a fight. And for some reason they always called Kurt and Blaine to see if one of them could come over and mediate for them. Of course, they always went.
I'm just waiting for Rachel to finally realize that Finn would be so much happier back in Ohio - obviously he's happy otherwise he wouldn't stay in New York but I can just see him coaching the football team, occasionally helping out the Glee club and just being comfortable. New York is too fast-paced for him and yes, he has a great job but -
Why am I talking about Finn and Rachel? This is about us?
Blaine chuckled, smoothing down the paper fondly. He kind of loved it when Kurt got off topic.
I actually wasn't sure if Rachel would ever leave, especially when we started planning the wedding and she was still showing no inclination of finding her own place. Thank god Finn showed up when he did with the job offer and the thought that maybe instead of both of them living with us like Rachel had suggested, they could find their own place.
I never thought I'd say it, but thank god for Finn being intelligent.
So then it was just us, a newly wedded couple in our own apartment, you recording your first proper EP, me starting my new line of designs, happy and in love and enjoying just being the two of us.
Of course that didn't last for long either, did it?
He breached the subject carefully, picking a day when Kurt was in a good mood but not the kind where all he wanted to do was talk about why he was so cheerful.
"I've been thinking," Blaine said carefully as he put away the last of the dishes, pausing as Kurt drained the dishwater out of the sink. "Have you ever thought that it gets a little… quiet around here?"
"With you on the piano or guitar half the time and our friends always visiting with no notice?" Kurt raised an eyebrow as they headed into the living room. "Not particularly."
Blaine shrugged, watching in amusement as Kurt sprawled on his back on the couch before joining him, fitting their bodies together and resting his head on his husband's shoulder. "Okay, quiet was the wrong word. How about… empty? I mean, we have quite a big place here and it's just us."
And it was true - their apartment was four bedroomed and with one as their room and the other as an office, there was a lot of unused room around the house. Of course Kurt had decorated so perfectly that nobody would be able to tell that they never went into the spare room but it was still a large place for two people.
"Blaine, if you're thinking about renting out one of the rooms, you can forget it. Apparently Artie and Quinn tried that and they ended up with a drug user. And not just pot, this was serious IV stuff."
"How did I not hear about this?" Blaine asked, his curiosity peaked. "What happened?"
"They ended up calling the police and the guy's in some rehab clinic, I think. But is that enough to show you that we don't want randoms sleeping under our roof?"
Blaine kissed his neck, feather light touches, and felt Kurt shiver a little. "I wasn't thinking that," he murmured against Kurt's skin. "Definitely not some random."
"You want my dad to come stay here or something? Or -" Kurt stopped, sucking in a breath. "Wait. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Blaine smiled up at him. "I might be. I know it's kind of a big step which is why I wanted to talk it over with you and you might be totally against it and it's okay if you are, not everybody wants to, but I'm kind of one of the ones who really does."
Kurt seemed to be struggling with his reply. "Of course I'm not against it," he finally got out. "I just - well, I thought we'd wait a little while before we went down that path."
"That is totally cool but… well, why?"
Another long silence. "You know," Kurt said, his tone thoughtful, "I'm not sure. Maybe - maybe it is something we could start talking about. I'm not completely sure -"
"Neither am I," Blaine said immediately. "I'm pretty sure, I mean, I have wanted to for ages now but it's a commitment in itself and something we both need to agree to. I just thought we could, you know, start looking around and maybe start buying some of the stuff we'd need."
Kurt nodded. "Yeah. I like the sound of that."
They shared a smile before Blaine spoke up again. "Okay, so we've both got the day off tomorrow, I was thinking we could stop by the store first and then maybe fill out some paperwork, visit the pound -"
"Woah!" Kurt sat up, Blaine struggling not to fall off the couch as he did. "Okay, this might be moving a little too fast for me, I mean, I just agreed and - hold on. Did you say… pound?"
"Yeah." Blaine shrugged. "If you want to go to the pet shop that's fine but there's a lot of animals out there who don't have a good home and may never get one and I just thought -"
"Blaine?"
Blaine paused, watching Kurt closely. "What's wrong?"
"You - oh my god. You were talking about getting a pet?"
"What did you think I was -?" And the pieces connected. "Oh my god," Blaine repeated. "You thought I was talking about getting a kid?"
"Well you have to admit, it sounded like it!" Kurt pressed a shaking hand to his eyes, surprising Blaine because, yeah, it had been a mix up but was it really that bad? "So… okay. Okay, so we're getting a pet instead. Not a kid. You want a pet, not a kid."
And he understood.
"Kurt, hey, not like that," Blaine hastened to explain. "Of course I want to adopt with you someday, of course. And I was definitely planning for us to have that conversation sometime, to sit down properly and work out what we both want. But like you said, it's still early and for us to adopt when we're only newlyweds would be moving too fast, I completely agree. But I want to, believe me."
Kurt lowered his hand and Blaine took it in his own reassuringly. "Okay," he said again, his voice calmer. "What kind of pet?"
"I want a cat," Blaine said immediately.
Kurt began to laugh. "Oh sweetheart, you sound like you're five," he explained when Blaine frowned in confusion. "But that sounds good to me, I've never been much of a dog person."
"It has to be a tabby," Blaine continued. "I mean, nobody appreciates that they're actually beautiful. And I'd like a boy because boy cats are generally friendlier."
"You're so picky."
Blaine rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder and smiled up at him charmingly. "You love me."
"I wouldn't dream of stopping."
Probably one of your better ideas, I have to say. Getting that cat taught us how to be responsible for something else - though I still believe we did a great job taking care of Rory in high school - and to share each other with another thing.
That said, I had hoped it would teach you self restraint but you still insist on feeding the blasted thing at least four treats a day and I swear, Blaine, we have the fattest cat in New York.
Yeah, Blaine would give Kurt that one because it was kind of true.
But I still love it, and I still love you. And I love that we worked out right from that moment that one day, we would end up with children of our own.
Now might be a good time to confess something to you actually. It might also be a horrible time but I need to get it out anyway. Before we had that conversation - and yes, I mean the one where we got horridly mixed up - I actually… well, Blaine, don't take this badly, okay? Don't stop reading or anything. But I didn't actually want kids.
Blaine stopped reading, staring at the page in shock. "Kurt?" he whispered, begging the paper to actually reply, to tell him that it wasn't true and of course Kurt didn't regret it and Blaine didn't force him into it and he wasn't sure if he could keep reading, not without Kurt to explain.
Of course he had to. It was the only way he would find out what was going on.
I know you're freaking out now, sweetheart, so let me just make a few things clear. No, you did not force me into making this decision, I made it completely of my own. No, I do not regret choosing to adopt with you. And yes, I love Holly with my whole heart and after marrying you, it's the best thing I've ever done. Okay? Breathe.
With a rueful chuckle, Blaine forced himself to calm back down. It wasn't often anymore that he got that worried over something Kurt said because he had learned by now that there was always an explanation. Kurt may be unpredictable but he always had a reason behind what he was doing.
Besides, don't you remember the first time we laid eyes on her? Do you honestly think I could ever see her with anything but love?
No. And neither could Blaine.
"So here's the toddler room!"
The woman pushed open the door to reveal a playroom with about ten children running around inside. A few of them glanced over in interest at the newcomers but immediately went back to playing. "Oh my goodness," Kurt whispered.
"I'll leave you to it for a few minutes, give you time to decide if this is what you want and then we can start talking specifics."
Blaine was barely aware of the woman leaving as he stared at all of the children. It was only Kurt grabbing his arm tighter, that drew his attention away and back to his husband. "Are you okay?" he murmured.
"Yeah. I just - wow. This is real."
Blaine nodded, understanding. "Want to split up and -" Kurt's grip tightened again. "Okay. That's okay, we can walk around together -"
"Not that," Kurt said and Blaine frowned, realizing that Kurt wasn't looking at him but across the room. "Look at her."
Blaine scanned the room once quickly. "Kurt, there's six girls in here, you'll need to be more -" It was his turn to cut himself off. "Oh."
"She looks just like her."
"I know."
Together they crossed the room, heading to the small table in the corner where a young girl was sitting, colouring in. Unlike all of the other children, she was quiet and Blaine suddenly felt ill at ease about the situation - not about the girl but about why she wasn't playing with the others. "Hi," Kurt said as they reached the table, kneeling in front of her.
She looked up, frowning but not looking too surprised. Blaine supposed the kids were used to people coming through. "Hello," she said quietly. "Who are you?"
"I'm Kurt and this is my husband Blaine," Kurt replied in a tone softer than Blaine had ever heard. "And what's your name?"
"Holly," came the reply and the girl put down her crayon, turning to face them properly. "But you don't want to talk to me. You want Felicity or Stephen."
Kurt and Blaine swapped a look, their suspicions confirmed. Popularity and bullying, no matter how small, started at a young age and this girl was already a victim. Used to being overlooked by potential adopters in favor of the 'better' kids, the ones who were louder and more outgoing. Blaine was certain that Holly was used to sitting in the corner while people looked around, knowing it wouldn't be her day today either.
"Well, I don't know about that," Blaine said, drawing the girls attention to him. "We're pretty happy over here talking to you. Besides, that looks like a Disney princesses colouring book you've got there and I know Kurt loves the princesses."
Holly's eyes lit up with a careful hope that she was clearly trying to conceal. "Do you want to colour in Belle?" she asked, turning back to Kurt.
Kurt grinned at her. "Belle's my favourite," he said, moving over so he could share the book and picking up a yellow crayon. "And oh, you've got Snow White, I love her as well."
"Me too."
Blaine could only stare for a few moments, watching the two colour together. Kurt was clearly focusing purposefully on the book but Blaine could see Holly glance over at him every few seconds as if to check that he was really there, really wanting to be with her.
Kurt only looked up once, to lock eyes with Blaine and nod. Just once, but it was clear.
"I might go back and find Ms. Stanford," Blaine said as Kurt finished shading Belle's dress. Holly looked up and Blaine knew half of her was trying to resign herself to the fact that they were going to leave without her. But another half was wondering if maybe, just maybe, it was her turn. Blaine looked at Kurt who nodded again and he smiled. "Holly, how would you feel about us coming back to see you again in a few days?"
Kurt was literally holding his breath, Blaine could tell, because this was the important moment. Coming back to see Holly again would count as the first proper visit, the second step to obtaining her as their daughter. But it was up to her - if Holly didn't want them as her dads, then they would never force it.
He needn't have worried. That hope that the girl had been trying to stifle all burst out, lighting up her face and revealing the most beautiful smile. "I'd love that."
"So would we," Kurt told her. "Holly, we have to go back home now but we will come back. We promise."
"Can I hug you?"
And now Kurt was the one smiling in delight. "Of course you can."
Holly threw her arms around him, all earlier resolve to hold back clearly gone. Kurt hugged her back and Blaine could see the pure contentment on his face, understanding completely when Holly broke away and turned to hug Blaine.
It was like she belonged and Blaine could tell immediately that she did.
"I don't want to leave her," Kurt whispered as they walked out of the room. "I know it's silly but… Blaine, it's like she's ours already. I want her."
"It's not silly," Blaine assured him. "I feel exactly the same."
They walked in silence for a few seconds before Kurt finally vocalized it. "She looked just like my mom when she was little."
Blaine wrapped an arm around his husband. "I know. Just another thing to make her even more special."
"And more perfect for us."
And now you're probably glaring at the paper because not only do you miss me, you now miss Holly too.
"I hate you sometimes, Kurt," Blaine grumbled, furiously wiping the tears from his cheeks. One dropped to the paper right next to Kurt's smudge and he laughed, shaking his head. "Of course I love you a million times more."
And Holly too, of course. Their little girl had officially been theirs for just over a year and a half now and Blaine couldn't imagine life without her. It didn't matter that she wasn't biologically theirs in any way, she was their daughter, both in name and more importantly in love. And in response to that, Holly had come out of her shell and by the first day of school could be confident in who she was.
Blaine loved her.
They had been talking about a second child too, perhaps next year when life was a little more settled. After all, they were thinking about going that one step further and either adopting a baby or going for surrogacy and that was huge. But they both knew it was what they truly wanted.
Closing his eyes, Blaine had to take a second to just stop and wonder. If someone had told him back as a freshman at Westerville High that one day he would be happily married to another man, living in New York, touring as a headlining artist around the world and thinking about adopting a second child, he would have told them to stop teasing him. He knew the same had applied for Kurt and god, if he could build a time machine now he would, just to go back and tell their teenage selves that it did get better.
But he was here now. The past was the past and he had Kurt, even if right now all he had was a letter.
Flipping the page, Blaine saw it was the final one and had to sigh. Yes, he could re-read the letter but after awhile he would have to put it away and go to bed alone with nobody to hold in his arms and wish a happy anniversary to, nobody to tell how much he loved them. He couldn't even say goodnight to his daughter.
Don't be too sad, okay? I know it's hard being away for so long and even though I'm writing this before you leave, just know that we're missing you like crazy back here too, but you'll be home soon. You'll be back with your family, with an amazing experience behind you.
Focus on the music. You'll get through.
But while we're focusing on beautiful things, there's just one more memory I want to bring to you. And we've been through a lot together, Blaine, but this will probably always be my favourite.
And immediately Blaine knew what Kurt was talking about. It was his too.
Even then, even after everything that had happened in the month or so prior, you knew me. Yeah, you'd made a few mistakes but when it came down to what really mattered, you did everything right.
I was worried, you know? I worried that if we did ever end up getting back together, you'd be so much of a gentleman that you would worry too much about the Karofsky stuff combined with the Animal debacle to ever make a move on me. And that's what I really needed - I needed someone to chase after me, to give me things instead of taking what I had always offered.
You figured that out.
Blaine had never been so nervous in his life. But it was his determination that pushed him through that doorway and into the room where Kurt was sitting. "What's that?" he asked even though he could figure out what it was for himself; there needed to be some kind of conversation starter. Walking into a room and announcing that he actually quite liked Kurt wasn't really the best of ideas.
That said, it was probably a shade better than telling Kurt to 'finish up' decorating the casket because um, ouch? But luckily Kurt either didn't notice or care, smiling up at Blaine like he always, did talking about the songs and - there it was.
Blaine saw the moment when Kurt's face changed, the expression just that little bit more quizzical and he had clicked, understood that there was more to this than just a duet, more than just Blaine realizing that things needed to be fairer in the Warblers. This was more.
He barely kept it together his nerves were that high. Of course Blaine knew Kurt had been interested on Valentine's Day but he had screwed up again since then, they had argued, he had gotten drunk and made out with Rachel and of course they had also sorted everything out but Blaine knew that they were both teenagers, feelings changed as evidenced by his brief outcry of 'love' towards Jeremiah.
But what he had felt for Kurt during Blackbird was something Blaine had never experienced before (as cliche as it sounded). It wasn't like he was falling for Kurt, instead like he always had, he had just been trying to find Kurt -
"Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever."
He had continued talking, rambling even, just trying to find the words that would make it right, the words that would actually say exactly what his heart had been telling him the past few days. Finally he he just shut his eyes and went with what his gut was telling him.
"You moved me, Kurt."
And oh, the way Kurt looked at him, and that was it. Blaine couldn't wait any longer to lean in, kissing Kurt with everything he had, putting in every word he could never vocalize (I'm sorry I'm so sorry it took me so long and I did so many stupid things along the way but I'm here now and I'm all yours please let me please don't ever let me go please be mine too.)
As soon as Kurt started kissing him back, Blaine could feel the rush of Kurt's own words as their lives collided and stayed.
Kurt had said earlier that he knew they would never be parted on the night they made love for the first time. Blaine knew it from the moment they kissed.
You made me feel like I was everything you had ever wanted, like Jeremiah had never existed, like neither of our pasts mattered, like it didn't even matter that our first kiss was over a table with a coffin on it. All that mattered was each other.
I knew i was in love with you then. I had been calling it love since that Christmas but that was because love was always the word that had been thrown around McKinley when one person talked about their feelings for another. But when you kissed me and when I kissed you back and when it was us kissing… I knew. I just knew.
We've been through so much together, Blaine. So many firsts that we shared with only each other, that I couldn't dream of having gone through without you. Sometimes I try to think of what it would be like waking up next to someone else and I can't get more than a few seconds into the thought before my mind shuts it down. There is simply nobody else out there for me but you.
I wish I could keep writing this letter forever but all good things have to come to an end at some time. That said, we haven't yet, so I desperately hope we are the exception to that rule.
We've been the exception to many rules.
Somedays I'm sure this is all one huge dream by my teenage self and I'll wake up alone and without you and still crushing on Finn. I could never take a day with you for granted - you're always doing something to make me smile or show me how much you love me and it's on those days that I'm sure that you're not real, that you're too perfect to exist and even if you do, you surely can't love me.
But I can't look a gift horse in the mouth and I never will and I'll keep pinching myself every day if that's what it takes.
Even writing your name helps. Blaine Anderson-Hummel. My husband.
I love you with my whole heart and I will never stop. Through the good and the bad, through everything that life throws at us, we have always been together. Two parts of a whole. You are my favourite person in the whole world and the best thing that has ever happened to me and they haven't invented words that express how much I love you. I don't think they ever will.
I miss you and I can't wait to see you again, to hold you and kiss you and touch you and be with you in every way possible.
I love you, Blaine Anderson-Hummel.
Love Kurt.
The tears were falling hard as Blaine pressed his fingers to his lips and placed them on Kurt's name. He was smiling, even as the tears continued to stream down his face, because no matter how much distance was between them, no matter what they had been through and what they would still go through, their love lasted. Their love was real and true and everything Blaine had only dreamed of and he knew with an absolute certainty that his heart would never stop loving Kurt Anderson-Hummel.
And then words below Kurt's signature caught his eye and Blaine wiped away his tears hurriedly to read the postscript.
P.S. You have an amazing manager, Blaine. Andrea was very informative when I asked her about your schedule and where you would be staying each time. Which is why I know full well that you are currently sitting in Room 212 of Auckland's Hilton thinking that this letter is the only way you'll get to be with me on our anniversary.
Turn around, beautiful.
The letter fell from trembling fingers to drift to the floor as Blaine stood, nearly tripping over himself in his haste to turn around.
The love of his life was standing in the doorway, smiling at him. "Hope you don't mind me stopping in," Kurt said softly. "But I couldn't go another day without telling my husband how much I love him."
"Oh my god, Kurt!"
Kurt dropped his bag in the doorway and all but flew into Blaine's arms, hugging him tighter than he ever had before. Blaine could feel every muscle on Kurt's back under his fingers as he held him, quite unable to think of insignificant things like breathing or not crushing Kurt's ribs when Kurt was here. Their lips connected feverishly, urgently, hardly even counting as a kiss but not mattering in the slightest when all they needed was that connection.
Since Blaine's Senior year of high school, this was the longest they had spent apart. Fashion Week nearly always split them and occasionally one would need to go away for anywhere up to two weeks. But six weeks without each other was too long after they had spent so many years building their lives around one another and all they could do now was hold one another and be sure that they were together again and still together.
Finally they found themselves settled on the bed, Kurt in Blaine's arms, completely unable to let one another go and neither one caring in the least. "How?" Blaine asked, breaking the silence that had been lingering for a few minutes.
"I planned it before you left," Kurt explained. "I wrote the letter, contacted Andrea, booked a flight and then figured out what time I'd be able to set this up for."
"Did you just get in?"
Kurt shook his head. "I knew I'd be jetlagged. I got in yesterday, I'm -" he broke off with a laugh. "I'm actually just down the hall from you in 229."
"You mean to tell me," Blaine began, his voice low, "that you've been down the hall all day and you waited until now?"
Kurt tilted his head back with an innocent smile. "Yes."
Blaine grabbed Kurt firmly around the waist and twisted him so they were facing each other. "You minx."
"You love me."
"Oh my god, you have no idea how much," Blaine murmured, pressing his forehead against Kurt's and closing his eyes. "I just can't believe you're here, baby, this means the world to me." And then the horrible thought struck him, forcing his eyes open to meet Kurt's. "How long do I have until you're gone?"
Kurt smiled lazily at him. "I'm on your flight home. Call it a second honeymoon - I hear New Zealand is beautiful this time of year."
"You're here all week?" Kurt nodded and Blaine squeezed him tighter, kissing him repeatedly until Kurt broke away, laughing. "Where's Holly?"
"Rachel and Finn have her. Good practice for them." Blaine frowned, feeling like he should understand what Kurt was saying and his husband's smile just grew. "Rachel's pregnant. And now that she's off the stage for the next few years, they're moving back to Ohio at the end of the year so Finn can take the football coach position when Coach Bieste retires."
Blaine shook his head helplessly. "Any more news to throw at me or can I die happy now?"
Kurt pretended to think. "No, you're free to die. Except you're really not because this is the first time I've seen you in six weeks and I quite like you alive."
"I don't actually know how we've survived. I mean, now that I have you here, I can't understand how I went so long without you here."
"I know," Kurt said, pressing closer to him. "But at least we know that after five years of marriage, we're not any less in love."
"And no more separable."
Kurt lightly rubbed their noses together and Blaine smiled as memories hit him again. "I love you."
"I love you too," Blaine whispered back. "I love that I'll get to sleep with you tonight and not even in the sexual meaning, just that I can hold you in my arms and then wake up next to you."
"The bed has been so empty without you," Kurt admitted. "I'm going back to high school days and hugging pillows."
"I would have starved to death without room service. You spoil me rotten with your cooking."
"Holly is the only thing in that house that keeps me sane. If she weren't there, I'd be at the office for every waking hour because it's not the same without you there."
"I never thought it would be this lonely."
"Neither."
They both sighed, finally letting in the emotions they had been blocking out for the past six weeks. No matter how old they were, no matter how comfortable and easy their relationship was, no matter how much they knew the other person was coming back, neither one had ever adjusted to being apart.
Blaine finally chuckled as he realized. "Look at us. We're together again for the first time in six weeks and all we can do is talk about how sad we were for the past six weeks."
"I know," Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes. "I can think of a much better use for those lips, Mr. Anderson-Hummel."
And it was definitely no hardship to give Kurt exactly what he wanted - kissing him until both of their heads were spinning and it was just like being a teenager again because they didn't need any more than this to express their love. Of course they would, but that was for a later time and right now all Blaine wanted to do was cuddle with his husband and sleep.
"You know, I really should take you out for dinner or something," Kurt mumbled as Blaine eased them back so they were lying down, Kurt snuggling into his side immediately. "It's our anniversary."
"If you shower me with any more love, I may implode," Blaine informed him matter-of-factly, smiling when Kurt laughed tiredly. "We can do that tomorrow night and even be tourists when I'm not performing. Right now we're not leaving this bed, okay?"
No response and Blaine glanced down to see Kurt's face relaxed and soft with sleep. Smiling he leaned down and kissed his forehead, letting his fingers card through Kurt's hair as he settled in for sleep - the best nights sleep he had gotten in the past six weeks, Blaine knew, and he hadn't even had it yet.
"Happy anniversary, Kurt," he whispered as his eyes fluttered closed.
That concludes the final prompt chapter for Kiss and the longest chapter of the series. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Stay tuned for the epilogue tomorrow night.