~~Sidney~~

The morning after the dinner party I went to Crowe's room to see if he was alright. He could barely stand when I saw him last, yet he still continued to drink. I walked into his room and saw him sprawled out on the bed, drooling and snoring loudly. I laughed at him before jabbing him with my cane. He groaned and turned his head the other direction.

"Are you planning to stay in bed all day?" I asked. He just groaned again and pulled a sheet over his head to hide from the sunlight streaming through the window.

"Leave me be," he said.

"I need to collect Miss Lambe today and wondered if you might want to go with me. Perhaps you can apologize to Lady Denham and Miss Heywood while you're there," I suggested.

He rolled over, pulling the sheet away from his face and yawned. "I beg for a few more hours," he said.

I laughed. "I'll come get you later today."

I left the hotel and headed down to the building site. The rain was still coming down hard and I knew it was going to be a rough day for the men. I anticipated they wouldn't want to work. I also assumed Charlotte wouldn't come in because of the storm.

"Mr. Robinson," I greeted. "How are things looking for today?"

"Not good, sir. Most of the men don't want to work in this weather."

"Yes. I assumed that would be the consensus," I said lowering my head. "How much do you think we will have done by the end of the month?"

"I think if the men took a day off, we could still make our deadline," he said. "Miss Heywood doesn't think so. She wants us to work rain or shine. She was not happy yesterday when all the men took off for the pub when the storm happened. The men are having a hard time taking her orders. I've had to repeat what Miss Heywood asks of them just so it comes from me rather than her. She's very smart and capable, but it's hard for the men to have a woman be in charge. She stayed much later than everyone else and left on foot in the rain last night. I almost followed after her, but I was a little drunk." He gave me a sheepish grin like he was embarrassed for drinking.

I remembered how Charlotte looked in the rain when we came upon her heading to the dinner party. If I had known she was working late into the evening alone, I would have done something about it. "Have the men take today off. I imagine Miss Heywood doesn't plan to come in today," I instructed. "Starting tomorrow the men will do as Miss Heywood instructs or they will be fired."

"Mr. Parker!"

"If they wish to work, and want a bonus for listening to a woman, they will do as she says," I ordered sternly.

"A bonus?" he questioned.

I nodded my head and patted him on the back. "A significant bonus."

"Yes, sir. I'll let the men know now."

He wandered off towards the crowd of men and I felt pleased with myself for helping Charlotte out. She was working too hard when she didn't need to.

For most of the day, I spent working. I was still in search of money and investors for Sanditon so I could find a way out of my dilemma with Mrs. Campion. I decided to go abroad and contact a man in the West Indies I had done business with. Perhaps he would have some suggestions or a way to help me out. I also wrote to Mary to see how her conversation with Tom went. I was hoping Tom would understand and continue to search for his own way out of his mess instead of putting it all on me. I hadn't heard from either Tom or Mary and I did have some fears things were not going well between them.

By late afternoon, Crowe had sobered up enough to join me on my trip out to Sanditon House. A part of me looked forward to returning in the hope I'd see Charlotte even if only for the slightest moment.

We were led into the drawing room where Alison was playing at the piano and Georgiana sat next to her. I watched for a moment as the girls giggled and played a song together.

Crowe groaned and rolled his eyes. "It's like needles stabbing out my eyes."

"The piano?" I asked quietly with a smirk. He hummed in response and squeezed his eyes shut while rubbing his temple. "I think that's just the hangover." I patted him on the shoulder and laughed. My eyes searched around the room hoping to find Charlotte, but she was nowhere to be seen. I sighed wondering if she had gone into the building site anyway. I should have gone to check on her. She would have been so disappointed if she got there to discover the men were given the day off, by me of all people.

"Mr. Parker," Lady Denham said walking into the room. Alison and Georgiana suddenly stopped playing and turned around noticing us for the first time. They both stood and curtsied. "Mr. Crowe." Lady Denham said his name with so much contempt in her tone. I'm sure he noticed it. I gave him a jab in the ribs with my elbow to remind him why he was here.

"Lady Denham," he began. "I want to offer my apologies for last night. I'm afraid I had a little too much to drink." I heard Alison scoff loudly. I'm pretty sure everyone in the room heard her, whether that was her intention or not. Crowe turned his attention towards Alison who looked uninterested. "I came to apologize to you too, Miss Heywood." They stared at each other for a moment before Crowe turned his attention back towards Lady Denham.

"Well," Lady Denham began while walking past him and heading towards a seat across the room. "I suppose we will have to accept your apology, Mr. Crowe."

He bowed toward her then bowed towards Alison.

"I have one request, Mr. Crowe," Lady Denham said. "I wish you to be sober at the ball I am planning in town at the end of the week. Alison is going to need a dancing partner."

"Lady Denham!" Alison protested.

"Oh hush, child. You'll need a decent partner to dance with. Crowe is a better partner than a shopkeeper."

"I'd rather dance with one of the laborers from the building site," Alison countered. It was interesting how she and Lady Denham interacted. Would Lady Denham allow anyone else besides Alison to speak to her like this? The only other person I could think of was Charlotte. It was as if Lady D got enjoyment from arguing with them. Perhaps she felt a kinship with them. "I don't care in the least who the partner is, as long as they don't smell of liquor." Georgiana snickered at Alison's remarks.

Crowe laughed. "You won't find a laborer who doesn't reek of liquor. I spent most of the evening drinking with them last night. A lively bunch."

"I'm sure they can stay sober for a night," Alison countered glaring at Crowe.

"Doubt it," he said. "And if they were sober, I don't think they'd want to dance with someone so insolent."

I groaned and dropped my head. This was not going the way I wanted it to go. Crowe needed to keep his mouth shut. "A ball, Lady Denham?" I asked trying to change the subject.

She glanced between Crowe and Alison for a moment before answering my question. She had plans to host a ball in town at the end of the week to brighten everyone's spirits in this dreary weather we had been having. I glanced towards Georgiana to read her expression. Was she excited about the ball? She looked indifferent towards the news.

"I'll spread the news in town, Lady Denham," I said. "Georgiana, if you are ready, I can take you back into town now."

"I'm ready," she said giving Alison a hug before heading towards the door.

As we were leaving, I saw Lady Denham's carriage pulling into the yard and caught the smallest glimpse of Charlotte inside. I took my time entering our carriage in hopes she would get out and I could say hello to her. But she didn't get out. I'd be fooling myself if that wasn't an indication of how she regarded me. I got in the carriage with Crowe and Georgiana and we headed out. Once again, I felt as if my heart had shattered. It was unrepairable.

Georgiana sat next to me with her arms crossed staring out the window. Across from us Crowe had nestled into the corner of the seat and had an angry expression on his face.

"The nerve of that woman!" Crowe said angrily. "I should have never come out here to apologize."

"You were quite rude to Alison last night. Don't you think she deserves an apology?" Georgiana asked.

"How exactly was I rude? I said I liked her playing. Is that not a compliment?" Crowe yelled.

Georgiana scoffed. "That's what you think you said? I assure you, Mr. Crowe, Alison wouldn't have been so upset if that's all you said."

"What did I say then?" he asked as if he didn't believe Georgiana.

"You told her she could play better if she had some liquor in her. Then you said if for a few drinks she'd play you better."

I stared at Crowe almost embarrassed for him but more disappointed in him. "I didn't say any such thing," he denied.

"I assure you, that's exactly what you said."

"Perhaps I just meant she needed to lighten up a little. She's kind of a snob. She isn't anything like her sister."

"Since she doesn't enjoy being in the presence of a drunk that means she's a snob?" Georgiana countered.

Crowe's face was frustrated and angry. "Driver!" he called out. "Stop the carriage."

"What are you doing, Crowe?" I asked.

"I'd rather walk," he answered.

"In the rain?"

"Anything is better than in here." He got out of the carriage and continued up the path on foot.

There was silence in the carriage once we got going again. Georgiana didn't look happy, whether it was towards Crowe or towards me, I did not know.

"Georgiana, I hope you enjoyed your time at Lady Denham's," I said breaking the silence.

"If you enjoy being a prisoner, I suppose I did," she said angrily.

"You didn't look like a prisoner," I countered.

"Alison was the only tolerable person in that home."

"And what of Charlotte?"

"She's never around," Georgiana explained. "She's always busy working and she's somewhat cold and distant now. She's starting to remind me of you."

The thought of Charlotte becoming cold and distant towards her friends made me hurt. She was, at one time, the light in everyone's lives. I hoped she hadn't lost that spirit about her. I couldn't bear the thought. Had I done that to her?

"If you plan to come to the ball can you please not bring her? Otherwise I will not be attending." Georgiana said.

I knew she was speaking of Mrs. Campion. She would only say 'her' in such a way if she was referring to Eliza. "She won't be there," I assured.

"Did you actually go through with it?" she asked almost in a desperate tone. "I'm sure you did. I know you did. As mad as I am at you and as much as I think sometimes you and Mrs. Campion deserve each other, I didn't want you to go through with it.

I sighed and turned towards the window for a moment to contemplate telling her the truth. I was trying to make amends with her. A part of that was not keeping things from her.

I turned back towards her and straightened my jaw. "No, I did not."

She smiled and for the first time in a long time looked like the excited little girl I had known many years ago. "Lady Susan was right."

"What do you mean?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

"Lady Susan. Charlotte's friend. The one bringing the Prince Regent to Sanditon."

"Yes, I know who Lady Susan Worcester is," I said rolling my eyes. "What did she say?"

"She said she had a feeling there wouldn't be a wedding."

"How would she know that?"

I think she has her ways," Georgiana said. "She said she planted a seed in your mind."

She indeed had. "Did she happen to tell you what that seed was?"

Georgiana shook her head. I contemplated telling her but chose not to at the moment.

"Does this mean your engagement is off? Are you planning to ask Charlotte to marry you?"

"I thought you didn't want me to pursue Charlotte?" I asked thinking back on our conversation at the last ball.

"Yes, but who am I to deny my greatest friend the love of her life?" I smirked. Was I the love of her life? "You know, like you did to me," she reminded with a glare. For a moment I thought we were getting along, then she had to bring up Otis.

"I assume you are still in contact with Mr. Molyneux," I asked.

"Are you going to forbid it?"

"No," I said.

"Why?" she asked as if she were surprised.

"I told you. I'm trying to make amends. Who am I to deny you the love of your life?"

"Does this mean you'll give your consent for us to be married?" she asked excitedly.

"I didn't say that exactly. I do hope there's someone else who comes along and makes you forget about Mr. Molyneux. Someone with more integrity and class. It's what you deserve in a future husband. But for now, if you wish to write him letters while he is away in the Navy, you are welcome to do so."

"Are you joking?" she asked still looking skeptical.

"No, I am not," I said seriously.

"What has changed your mind?" she asked. I gave her a look like she should know the answer to this one. "Charlotte?" I nodded my head.

"Have you told her you're not engaged?"

"No"

"Why ever not? Don't you want to tell Charlotte so you can be together now?"

I sighed and pursed my lips. "The situation with Lady Denham hasn't changed. You heard her at the dinner party. She's still waiting to get her money. At the moment I'm still engaged to Mrs. Campion. I've only asked for a postponement. I'm hoping I can find other means to secure the money for Lady Denham. How I'm going to go about breaking my engagement to Mrs. Campion, I haven't quite figured out. But I need to secure the money first. For now Charlotte can't know. I can't risk Lady Denham finding out."

"Why is it your responsibility to get the money?" she asked. "It's Tom's doing, not yours. Make him pay for it."

"You know I can't do that," I said. "I can't turn my back to my brother."

"Sidney, if you need the money, I can…"

"No. I'm not taking your inheritance, Georgiana."

"It could just be a lone," she offered. "I can wait longer than Lady Denham to be repaid."

I smiled at her offer. It seemed things were getting better between us. "Even if that were possible, your inheritance is secured until you turn twenty-one or until you marry. And at that point, it's set up in yearly allowances. It's how your father wanted it."

"It's my money," she said leaning back against the seat and pouting. "Why would he not just let me have it?"

"He wanted to protect you. He wanted to protect us both."

We were both silent for the rest of the carriage ride into town.

"You will keep my secret, won't you?" I asked of Georgiana once I walked her safely back to her room at Mrs. Griffiths.

"Of course," she said. "I don't like it, but I understand why you're doing it. I still think you should at least tell Charlotte, so she doesn't have to live in misery."

I dropped my head thinking about Charlotte being miserable. Perhaps Georgiana was right. I could trust Charlotte with the truth until I could find another way. But what if I couldn't find another way? I wouldn't dare hurt her a second time. I couldn't possibly ask her to wait for however long it might take until I got out of the engagement. I smiled and nodded my head as if I was taking her advice into consideration and left.

Back at the hotel, I sat at a table having a drink alone when Crowe finally got back. He looked furious and ready to attack. "She is infuriating!" he said angrily grabbing a drink and downing it in one gulp.

"Georgiana?" I asked thinking about their exchange in the carriage.

No, not Georgiana," he spat with frustration. "Miss Heywood. Why in the world would Lady Denham want me to dance with her at the ball? I have a mind not to attend at all. Perhaps I should head back to London at once."

"Perhaps you should," I said with a small chuckle. I knew he wouldn't. As much as he said he didn't like Alison, I got the sense he was intrigued by her. Much like I was intrigued by Charlotte when I first met her. How my life had changed since then.

We stayed in the hotel lobby drinking much of the evening. Crowe could not let his frustration with Alison Heywood go and continually brought her up at every turn. It was rather amusing to watch.

The following morning, I was about to head for the building site to check in when I was stopped in the hotel lobby by the one person I least wished to see.

I sighed heavily and darted my eyes away from her gaze. My fists involuntarily clenched as did my jaw.

"Sidney," Eliza greeted.

"What are you doing here, Eliza?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Since you don't answer any of my letters, I thought I'd come see you in person and convince you to come back to London for our wedding," she said.

People in the hotel were beginning to stare and watch our exchange. I didn't want to do this in front of prying eyes. "Come with me," I said taking her arm and guiding her up to my room.

She smiled devilishly once we were alone, then had the audacity to place her hands against my chest in an intimate way. I grabbed her hands and placed them back at her sides then walked across the room to get away from her.

"I assume Lady Worcester told you where my fortune came from?" she began. "I'd been trying to wrap my head around why you left and never returned. When I ran into Lady Worcester, she made a comment about how she suspected you would leave when you discovered the truth. Then I put it all together when you left and told me you didn't wish to be enslaved."

"I should have heard it from you," I said.

"What difference does it make where the money came from? It's not as if I enslaved them. We only made a profit off them being sold to someone else enslaving them. My late husband and I were offered a great opportunity and I told him to take it. I wouldn't have the fortune I do now if he hadn't." I was even more disgusted knowing she actually had a hand in it. "You need the money to save your brother, do you not? I am a rich woman and still have more money coming in every day from our business dealings. I'm happy to give it to you in exchange for what I want," she said. My heart was racing from trying so desperately not to say anything I might regret.

"And what exactly is it you want? Me? Or is it your reputation in polite society since clearly that's dwindling? Is it Georgiana you're after to remedy your image?"

"It's you, of course," she said.

"I don't believe you. I think your place in society holds much more value than anything else. If it didn't, you wouldn't have left me for someone else ten years ago. You had me at one time. You chose to have a position in society over me."

"Sidney don't be like this. You know I never gave up on us. Now we have all the money in the world, we have positions in society, we have everything we've ever dreamed of right in front of us for the taking. Now all we need is to solidify our marriage."

I turned around and stared out the window watching the rain come down. I could see Charlotte across the rooftops working in the rain over at the building site. I never noticed before how easy it was to see the building site from my room. She was a good distance away, but I could tell it was her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"I never wanted any of that," I said in a much calmer tone. Watching Charlotte from afar calmed me significantly. "Society, money and position held little interest for me. All I wanted was a happy marriage. A wife who loved me and a wife I loved beyond measure. It's what I still want. All those years ago, I thought if I could just secure the fortune, if I could become someone in society, somehow I could win you back."

"And you did." She walked over to me and in an attempt to touch me, I pulled away.

"Yes, and now that I have it, I don't want it anymore. I'm a different man than I was ten years ago. I want something more. Something real."

I continued to watch Charlotte from afar and saw her stumble trying so hard to do it all. I flinched seeing her stumble. Eliza looked through the window to see what I was looking at. She giggled then turned towards me. "Don't tell me you have feelings for that child? Sidney be serious."

My blood boiled at her calling Charlotte a child. She was nothing of the sort. "Say I did have feelings for Charlotte. Is that what you want in a marriage? A man who's pining for another woman?" I felt bad for a moment. I could see the hurt I had caused her in her expression. "We had our opportunity for a happy marriage. You made the choice to want more. Now it's too late. Now I want more." She began to cry. "I beg you to release me of our engagement."

She wiped her tears and stared at me sternly. "I don't give up so easily, Sidney. Like you said, I want more. I want it all. I will win you back. I'll be damned if I lose you to an insignificant girl like that."

My shoulders dropped in defeat and I sighed heavily. I stared at her with the most pained expression I'd ever had. I was never going to get out of the engagement if Eliza had anything to say about it. In that moment she hurt me far worse than she ever did when she broke our engagement ten years earlier. I grabbed my coat from the back of the chair and left the room while she yelled out my name and ordered me to come back. I left the hotel and walked down the street towards the building site where Charlotte was. I watched for a moment as Charlotte picked up broken bricks and threw them into the back of a wagon then tried to pick up a burnt log far too big for her to lift. But she was determined to do it regardless. Drops of water fell down her face and matted her hair. Her dress and coat were soaked and dirty from the ashes of the charred wood. She worked harder than any man at this site. She was beyond beautiful even in that moment. My heart ached to touch her, to tell her I was free from Eliza. But Eliza would never have it.

She struggled with the log she was trying to drag across the ground. I couldn't bear to watch it any longer. I walked over and took the other end of the log to help her carry it. She turned around staring at me with confusion. "You don't have to help me, Mr. Parker," she said in that determined voice I'd come to admire.

"I know," I answered. "You're more than capable of handling anything you set your mind to. I'm well aware of that. But we are on a deadline, are we not? More hands getting the work done will make the job go quicker." She stared at me questioning my motives for a moment then turned and started walking towards the wagon allowing me to help her. I helped her all day until the job was done. We never said a word to each other, just shared glances of longing from time to time. Or maybe there was only longing from me and she was just confused by my actions.

No other man offered to help her, all staying inside the buildings and doing painting, putting up walls, and putting in windows. They all left Charlotte out in the rain to do the work they should have been doing. I had to assume Charlotte insisted. Of course, she would insist. Of course, she'd carry the load for all.

As much as I wanted to give her space so I didn't hurt her anymore, I couldn't bear being away from her a moment longer. I needed her calming effect on my soul after seeing Eliza. My heart and my mind were at constant battle. This time my heart had won.

NOTES: This chapter was so hard to write. I wanted to burst into tears while Sidney poured his heart out to Eliza and she just denied him the only thing he wanted out of spite.

What does everyone think about Crowe and Alison? Everything I read about future thoughts for a second season has her paired up with Stringer. I don't see it. I have plans for Stringer. He will make an appearance later on, but it's not with Alison. Alison will make Crowe work for it though. Crowe will be a better man with Alison as Sidney is with Charlotte and I believe Babington is with Esther.

As for names for Babington and Crowe I think I've decided on Lord Montgomery Wentworth Reginald Babington and Matthew Theodore Markus Crowe (See what I did there?). What does everyone think? Yes/No