NOTES: To fight my writers block, I streamed the entire season 1 yet again and really focused on every word spoken in the show. In episode 4, the least favorite episode as it seems, Lady Denham is talking with Esther and Edward about potential marriage prospects. She tells Esther, "If you could keep that scoul off your face long enough, there's no reason why we shouldn't find you a husband by Michaelmas."

What's Michaelmas? I had to find out. I'd never heard of it. Turns out it's somewhat of a celebration of the changing season. Also lots of religious superstitions around its meaning. So I decided to bring that into the story.

~~Sidney~~

I hated lying to her. I hoped she would understand someday that paying the laborers the bonus was not an attempt to put her down as a woman, but only a way to assure her position as a strong woman among men. I hoped someday I'd be able to tell her the truth that Tom had nothing to do with it. But I couldn't right now.

After leaving Charlotte with her carriage the night before, I headed back to the hotel only to discover Eliza had checked into a room and was waiting for me to return. I didn't wish to see her, so I left and stayed at Trafalgar House. It was a restless night fighting with myself again on what I did. Should I have stayed away from Charlotte like I had been trying to do no matter how hard, or should I not fight it any longer and give in to what I wanted more than anything? And if I did give in, what was I to do about Eliza? Did I have any grounds to break off the engagement? How could I go about it without looking like a cad? If I did, I wouldn't be able to marry Charlotte for many years to come, otherwise she would look like a homewrecker. No matter what I did, someone was going to get hurt.

By morning I had conceded that I needed to avoid Charlotte so not to drag her into the middle of a scandal that was about to happen between me and Eliza. I had every intention of talking with Eliza and calling off the wedding for good, regardless of how it would make me look. If Charlotte would ever wait for me, I'd make her a promise to marry her in a few years when the scandal faded away. I had planned to go talk to Lady Denham and ask for her understanding in the situation I was in and beg her to give my family time to repay Tom's debt in another way. I had become a fairly successful businessman. With a little time, I was sure I could come up with the money needed. I was hoping with Lady Denham's affection for Charlotte she would give us the opportunity to figure out other means to pay the debt.

I had it all worked out in my head. That was until I walked down to the cove to get some thinking in and I found Charlotte sitting there. I should have walked away and left her be. I should have reminded myself that if anyone saw us together it would only drag her into a scandal that I so desperately wanted to avoid getting her involved in. But I couldn't help myself. Once again, my heart won out. My heart was overpowering any sense I had left.

We talked a little, but I could tell she was holding back, as was I. After a few topics left open by both of us, we became silent and sat comfortably across from each other.

"Charlotte!" someone called from a distance startling both of us. Charlotte quickly turned towards the voice and closed the book. She started to get up from the rock but slipped a little on the wet rock. I instinctively jumped and caught her arm before she fell. I held onto her arm a little longer than I should have and took a step closer to her. How desperate I was to kiss her again. Her eyes darted up towards mine before she looked back down again. Her name was called again, closer this time. "Charlotte, there you are!" I cursed whoever it was calling her name. I let go of her arm and took a step away, giving her the space to walk back up to the cliff. I glanced up and saw Alison staring down at us. She didn't seem pleased seeing me with Charlotte. I watched as the two of them walked away and wondered if I'd ever have another moment with Charlotte like this morning. Just the two of us, no questioning eyes, no scandal, no Mrs. Campion or Alison standing in the way. I sure hoped so.

Later in the morning, I met her at the building site where Alison now joined her. I very rarely saw Alison at the site. She usually preferred to stay with Lady Denham or to visit with Georgiana. I had no doubt I was the reason for her sudden interest in staying close to Charlotte. It was clear Alison didn't like me. She didn't seem to like many people.

I worked alongside the men during the day, only talking with Mr. Robinson briefly and doing my best to give Charlotte her space. I caught a glimpse of Eliza walking the streets near the building site with a few other ladies she never seemed to be far from when she went somewhere. I tried hard not to give her the satisfaction of even a glance in her direction when it was clear that was what she was looking for.

By evening, the laborers had left and all that remained was Charlotte and Alison talking with Mr. Robinson. I wondered if I should go join them but decided against it and left.

I stopped at the post office checking for any mail and was quite surprised to see a letter from Mary. She explained how Tom had left London and she wasn't sure where he had gone. After they had a discussion about how they needed to find a way to pay the debt themselves and not put it on my shoulders, he left a note saying he was going to do just that. She worried about him and had no idea when or if he'd ever return. She feared he had abandoned them. On top of having Tom's debt hanging over my head, I now needed to take responsibility for his wife and children. Tom was a lost cause. I scrawled a letter to Mary insisting she and the children return to Sanditon. I explained they would be safer here with me and Arthur to look after them. I asked her to convince Diana to come as well as I definitely didn't want my sister in London alone.

As I finished up the letter, Charlotte and Alison walked in. I greeted them with a bow and gestured for them to go ahead of me. They collected their letters and walked out into the street. I walked up to the counter and posted my letter to Mary to be sent then had intentions to go see Arthur to fill him in. Perhaps he already knew what was happening.

When I walked out, I could hear Charlotte's stressed voice. I tried not to look in her direction, but I couldn't help it when I heard her upset. "Bad news?" I asked walking up to them.

"This doesn't concern you, Mr. Parker," Alison said, turning Charlotte away from me.

Charlotte turned around anyway. "Lady Susan and The Prince Regent are planning to be here in two weeks. Just in time for Michaelmas. I thought I'd have more time," she said.

"I'll see what I can do to get more workers," I offered.

"You don't have to trouble yourself," she said.

"It's no trouble at all. As a matter of fact, all the people who live in this town are excited with The Prince Regent's visit. I'm sure they want Sanditon to be appealing for his arrival. It's time they step up and help."

Charlotte gave me a pleasant smile. "Thank you, Mr. Parker."

"Charlotte," Alison said from beside her. "We may need to rethink our plans." Charlotte's attention fell on Alison who held a letter in her hands. "George's wedding is that same week."

"What?" Charlotte said grabbing the letter from Alison's hands.

Charlotte seemed to be overly distressed by this recent news. "Who, may I ask, is George?"

"He's our brother," Alison said irritatingly. "He's engaged to be married and he just sent word of the date. It's the same time Lady Susan and The Prince Regent will be here."

"I see," I said. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You've done enough," Alison growled.

"Thank you for your kindness, Mr. Parker," Charlotte said much nicer than Alison. "I'm sure we can work it out." I bowed and left sensing my presence was no longer wanted.

I went and talked to Arthur who was quite upset with Tom for leaving so unexpectedly. He also thought it best for Mary and the children to come to Sanditon. He made plans for his new maid to go to Trafalgar House in the morning and get it all cleaned up and ready for their return. I had dinner with Arthur and met his new maid, whom he seemed quite fond of. He talked of little more than her cooking and the way she always had everything just right around the small home he rented. I was also able to talk Arthur into helping at the building site first thing Monday morning. I wasn't quite sure what kind of help he would be, but at least it was another pair of hands.

When I returned to Trafalgar House, Crowe was standing in the doorway. I gave him a confused expression.

"Wasn't expecting to see you here," I said.

"You haven't returned to the hotel in a couple days. I wondered if it had anything to do with Mrs. Campion being there," he asked.

"It has everything to do with her being there," I answered. I opened the door to go inside and gestured for Crowe to come inside.

"She's planning to attend the ball tomorrow night, you know," he said coming in and sitting down on a chair.

I sighed and took to starting a fire to warm the drafty house. "I probably shouldn't attend the ball then," I said.

"In my sober state of mind, I've been thinking about what you could do," he said. I smirked at his comment about being sober. He rolled his eyes knowing what I was thinking. "Anyway, she doesn't seem to want to give up. But what if we try to get as many men in Sanditon to give her the cold shoulder at the ball? Perhaps even get the women to shun her and not include her in conversation? The last few weeks in London, I've seen the great Lady Worcester do it to her a time or two. You know everyone follows what she does, so Eliza's practically been ran out of London. I wouldn't be surprised if that's why she's here now."

"The ball is tomorrow. How do you propose we convince all the gentlemen of Sanditon to do such a thing?" I asked.

"I've already taken the liberty to talk to a few of them. The word will get out. Trust me," he said kind of smug like.

"And what do we do about Lady Denham?" I asked. "She's going to expect me to be married. If she sees everyone ignoring Eliza, she's going to question what's going on."

"Leave that to me," he said with a grin. "I'll keep Lady D occupied." I was concerned how exactly he planned to keep her occupied, but I didn't really have a choice at this point. He had already put the plan into action.

~0~

I readied myself for the ball and pictured Charlotte from the balls we had attended before. The first ball I was so intrigued by her but tried to deny my feelings entirely. I was such a fool at that first ball, at every ball really. I hoped Crowe's little plan worked and Eliza would go back to London knowing she wasn't welcome here in Sanditon. I hoped I would get an opportunity to dance with Charlotte, even if it was wrong.

I met Crowe at the front door of the assembly rooms and walked in with him. We were there before most everyone. I watched the doors intently, hoping to get a glimpse of Charlotte if nothing else.

"Are you still sober?" I asked with a smirk.

"Just for tonight," he said. "I have something to prove."

I patted him on the back for encouragement. "I'm sure you can change her opinion of you."

"There's Babbers," Crowe said. He walked in with Esther on his arm. When he noticed us, he walked over to greet us. Esther looked miserable, no doubt the early pregnancy symptoms. Babington comforted and held her while we talked for a moment. We could all tell Esther wasn't in the mood to be there. I imagined it would be an early night for Babington if she had anything to say about it. After a few minutes he walked Esther over to a couch and sat down with her.

Georgiana walked in with the Beaufort sisters and Mrs. Griffiths. I excused myself from Crowe and walked over to greet the girls. The Beaufort sisters smiled and giggled profusely. I had to hold back from rolling my eyes. Georgiana didn't hold back and rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. I took Georgiana's arm and led her away from them. The room was filling up and music was beginning to play.

"I imagine you plan to dance with Charlotte tonight?" Georgiana asked.

"I'm not sure she will want to dance with me, but if I'm so lucky, perhaps I will."

"You still haven't told her?"

"No. Unfortunately Mrs. Campion will be here tonight."

"I thought you said you weren't going to invite her?" she asked almost terrified.

"I didn't. She showed up a couple days ago and doesn't plan to leave until I marry her."

"Why is she so desperate to marry you? Is it just because she doesn't want to lose to Charlotte?" Georgiana wondered.

"I wonder if it has more to do with her reputation. Crowe informed me Lady Worcester has been giving her the cold shoulder and we all know whatever Lady Worcester does everyone else will follow. She assumes it has to do with her business dealings with the late Mr. Campion. If she can connect herself to me, ultimately connecting herself to you, it'll somehow make her look like a better person."

"Because the color of my skin? She's a horrible person," Georgiana said. "She better not come near me tonight or I will be making a scene."

I smiled and thought just how a scene from Georgiana would be. Normally I'd be reprimanding her and forcing her to behave. But tonight, I didn't care. She had every right to make a scene after what Eliza had put her through right under my nose. "Make a scene all you want," I encouraged. Georgiana stared at me with confusion before breaking out in a smile.

"Miss Lambe," Arthur greeted excitedly approaching us. "I've been missing my favorite dancing partner. Care to join me?" Georgiana smiled at him and took his hand to be led to the dance floor. I watched the two of them dancing for a moment and thought how Georgiana looked happy when she was with Arthur. He too looked happy. I imagined it wouldn't be long before Arthur approached me with thoughts of marrying her. He would make her happy and take good care of her. I would be freed from my duty of taking care of her if he was to marry her.

I glanced towards the doorway and saw Lady Denham, Alison, and Charlotte walk in. My eyes fell on Charlotte and no one else. She wore a pale lavender satin dress with great details. Her hair was up with a few wispy curls hanging loose. The sight of her beauty took my breath away. I smiled and instantly headed across the room, not even sure what I would say or do when I got to her. All I knew was I needed to be near her.

"Lady Denham," I greeted with a bow. She acknowledged me with a nod. "Miss Heywood. Miss Heywood." Both girls curtsied as I bowed.

"Mr. Parker, how is your endeavors coming along with my long-awaited money?" Lady Denham asked, reminding me instantly of my debt and how I shouldn't be here planning to ask Charlotte to dance with me.

"It's coming along just fine," I lied. "I should have your money to you very soon."

She hummed in response as if she didn't believe me, then walked towards a chair where she normally sat during balls. She didn't have to work the room and make connections. People came to her to be in her good graces.

"Miss Heywood, would you care to dance?" I asked hopeful for a favorable answer.

"I think I'll sit this one out, thank you," she replied with a smile.

I bowed feeling completely wounded by her answer. "Perhaps Miss Alison Heywood would care to dance?" I asked. For a moment I thought if I could get on Alison's good side, perhaps she wouldn't be so opposed to me.

"Yes, do dance with Alison," Lady Denham said. "She's never been to one of our Sanditon Balls. She needs a good dance partner. Where is that friend of yours, Mr. Crowe?"

"He is around here somewhere," I answered looking around the room trying to spot him.

"Getting drunk in a corner somewhere?" Alison wondered. I grimaced at her assumption. She was far worse than Charlotte. At least Charlotte's assumptions had some merit of truth to what she assumed. Alison was downright rude. I gritted my teeth and put my hand out to take hers. I could hear Alison's sigh of distaste having to dance with me.

I led Alison to the dance floor and bowed as the dance called for it. She placed her hand on top of mine and I placed my hand at her waist as we started the fast-paced dance. She wouldn't look at me and had an expression of boredom across her face.

"You make it very clear you dislike me," I said.

Still not looking at my face she answered. "I don't dislike you, Mr. Parker. I have no feelings at all towards you."

"Yet you make it a point to show me with your actions just how much I offend you."

She finally looked at me with an angry expression. "Do I not have a right to dislike you? After what you've done to my dear sister?"

"You have every right," I answered. "My only hope is that someday I can remedy your unpleasant feelings towards me."

"And how do you suppose to do that?" I asked. "My sister may be more forgiving, but I won't be."

"As wrong as it may be to say, I do care deeply for your sister and only want her to be happy," I said wishing so badly I could say more.

"It would be in your best interest to leave her be. You have moved on with your life, let her move on with hers. Perhaps someone new will come along and help her to forget about you. She deserves to be happy. Don't you agree, Mr. Parker?"

As much as her words hurt to admit, she was right. Charlotte deserved happiness. I couldn't stand in her way or ask her to ever wait for me. I smiled at Alison who now looked deeply in my eyes questioning my every expression. "I want Charlotte to find happiness, whoever that may be with. I only hope we can still be friends as we once were."

"I don't remember her talking of you in any friendly terms," she said.

I was getting angrier by the minute. "Perhaps we have a different type of friendship than you are accustomed to?"

"A friendship where you, as a married man, ruin my sister's reputation?" she countered. I took a deep breath, disliking Alison even more with her honest answers. Why did she have to be so right?

The dance ended and we released, bowing towards each other properly. She glared before walking back towards Lady Denham. Getting on Alison's good side was going to be harder than I thought. I stood to the side and watched the dancers take the floor once again. I searched the room for Charlotte and saw her sitting with Esther and Babington. Georgiana and Arthur were taking to another dance. I noticed Crowe take his chance across the floor towards Alison. To my surprise, she took his hand with a smile and was led out onto the dance floor. I prayed he had better luck with her than I did.

My eyes fell on Charlotte again who talked and laughed with Esther throughout the night. She only accepted a couple dance offers and spent most of her time with Alison or Lady Denham once Esther and Babbers left for the night. Alison danced with Crowe quite a few times and danced with Arthur a time or two as well a few other men in attendance. My eyes followed Charlotte most of all.

When I saw Mr. Fritz approach her and ask for a dance, there was an anger inside of me. I didn't like seeing her with him. I crossed the room to get closer and my arm was grabbed. I looked down at the hand that had grabbed me and knew instantly it was Eliza. I sighed and stopped mid-step.

"There you are, Sidney. I was beginning to think you hadn't come at all," she said.

"What can I do for you, Mrs. Campion?" I asked with my eyes still on Charlotte and Mr. Fritz. He wrapped his arm around her a little too tightly for my comfort. Charlotte didn't look comfortable.

"What do you think of my dress?" Eliza asked. I glanced at her for only a moment. She wore a cream-colored dress with gold trim. It wasn't anything special in my eyes. I didn't understand why she would ask such a question.

"I don't have much of an opinion on women's fashions," I answered.

"You must have some thought on it," she pressed.

"What kind of a compliment are you asking for?" I questioned irritatingly. "Do you want me to say it looks nice? Do you want me to say it's more fashionable than anyone else's at this country ball? Or perhaps that no one does fashion better than you?" I paused waiting for her to answer then glanced back at Charlotte who looked rather distressed with Mr. Fritz. "It's a dress. It's no better, no worse than anyone else here."

"It was to be my wedding dress," she said rather pleased with herself. I glanced at her once more, feeling bad for what I said but was quickly distracted by what was happening across the room with Charlotte. I left Eliza and quickly crossed the room pulling Mr. Fritz away from Charlotte.

"What's the meaning of this?" Mr. Fritz asked.

"Charlotte doesn't look pleased with your advances. I'd advise you to step aside," I said.

"Mr. Parker, I'm fine," Charlotte said quietly as to not make a scene like I was.

"You have no right to tell me what to do," Mr. Fritz said looking me up and down. By now everyone in the room was staring, including Lady Denham. "We were only dancing."

"You shouldn't hold a lady so closely," I spat. "It's not proper nor is it very gentlemanly. I suggest you leave," I said.

He scoffed and looked as if he was about to challenge me. Crowe and Arthur appeared at my side. The three of us together convinced him to concede and leave the ball.

I sighed and turned around to find Charlotte was gone. My eyes searched the room trying to find her, but she was nowhere to be seen. Crowe and Arthur started asking questions about what was happening. They didn't see what I saw, but still they stood behind me ready to back me up if needed.

Eliza appeared back at my side. "You'll never look at me the way you look at her, will you?" she asked with a sadness in her eyes. "I thought with time I could convince you to love me again. Would you ever protect me from an unfavorable dance partner?"

I still searched the room for Charlotte and barely heard what Eliza was saying. "Excuse me," I said. I rushed around the room and couldn't find Charlotte anywhere. I had a sickening feeling in my stomach at the thought that she left. Had Mr. Fritz followed her? I rushed outside to find my worst fear. Mr. Fritz was following Charlotte and trying to grab her as she tried to get away from him.

"Mr. Fritz!" I yelled rushing out of the building towards him. He stopped just long enough for Charlotte to get away from him. I didn't wait for a moment of second guessing. My fist raised and punched him straight in the face. He fell to the ground and moaned in pain. I kicked him in the stomach and pushed him down again as he started to get up.

"Mr. Parker, stop!" Charlotte yelled. "I'm perfectly fine. You don't need to do this."

I stopped with a grunt wanting so badly to hit the disgusting man over and over again. How dare he touch Charlotte.

"Mr. Fritz, I advise you to collect your things and leave Sanditon as soon as possible," I said through gritted teeth. "Your services are no longer wanted here in Sanditon."

"You have no right to fire me. Charlotte is the only one who can make that decision," he shouted holding his side where I kicked him. His nose was bleeding profusely. I desperately wanted to hit him again for speaking Charlotte's name. He had no right to speak her name on friendly terms.

"When I'm the one paying your wages, I can assure you I have every right to fire you," I said through a clenched jaw. He glared at me and took a step closer as if he was going to attempt to fight but thought better of it. He groaned and left the street.

I turned my attention back to Charlotte who was crying. I walked towards her wanting desperately to pull her close to me and protect her. "Are you hurt?" I asked a step away from her. My hand instinctively went out to touch her, but she jerked away and took a step back.

"You're paying the laborers?" she asked with confusion on her face?

"Of course, I'm paying the laborers?" I answered frustratingly. "Why on earth would you think it was Tom?"

"You let me believe it was Tom I should be upset with rather than you for paying them bonuses?" She looked angry and hurt.

"Charlotte, please understand I didn't pay them to disrespect you. I only paid them to protect you," I said attempting to explain my reasons.

"I don't need your protection, Mr. Parker. I can manage on my own," she said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go apologize to Mr. Fritz and beg him not to leave." She pushed past me and headed down the street.

"No!" I yelled chasing after her and grabbing her arm, which she pulled away. "He is not to set foot on the building site again."

"We can't afford to lose him," Charlotte cried. "Don't you understand? He's the only stonemason we have. We won't be ready for The Prince Regent if he leaves."

"The Prince Regent is not worth it if you are put in danger. I won't have it," I yelled.

"We don't have a choice, Mr. Parker," she yelled. "You have to apologize and give him his job back."

"I won't do any such thing," I yelled. "Nor will you. I will kill the man if he comes anywhere near you again."

I hadn't noticed the crowd of people who had left the ball to see what was happening outside. Charlotte stared angrily at me for a moment before she ran over to Alison who wrapped her in a hug and guided her back into the ball. I sighed, knowing now I had made things far worse than they already were.

I walked down to the building site and made sure Mr. Fritz had gathered his stuff and left. I didn't care whether Charlotte didn't want to fire him. If I ever saw him again, I couldn't be held responsible for what I might do. I had to figure out a way to make this right. At every turn I was making matters worse for Charlotte. How would she ever accept me after all the times I'd hurt her?

NOTES: I know many of you were expecting Charlotte and Sidney to dance at this ball and magically everything would fall into place, but that wouldn't be in their nature would it?

This chapter was extremely hard to write, which is why it took so long. I feel like the quarantine is getting to me. I've had a migraine for about a week now, which I know is due to stress. Not only do I have to now teach my 10 kids at home for the remainder of the school year, but their dance classes have now gone online and we've had to rearrange our house to accomodate this. It's all entirely overwhelming.

As a way to fight through the writers block, I wrote a naughty little chapter that may or may not be a future chapter to this story. Which leads me to the question, does anyone want explicit chapters in the future? It definitely wouldn't be JA approved nor would it ever be on PBS Masterpiece Theatre. Anyway, I could just allude to sexual content in the future and that chapter will just be for my own pleasure.