[ May I ]
As you fall-to-sleep.
"You are feeling unwell as well?" Deidara frowned, his tone sounded worried.
"Sorry to give you trouble." Sakura sighed.
"No, it's not a trouble, it's just that…" Deidara paused, looking at the empty chair behind Sasori's desk. "It looks like everyone been getting the flu lately yeah." Deidara returned to the phone.
"You are feeling sick as well?" Sakura asked, hugging her knees to herself while sitting on her couch. She didn't know what to do about yesterday but to run away. And the first step in doing so was to skip her work and avoids Sasori.
"No it's not me, it was Sasori yeah. A while ago, he called and told me he was feeling unwell and decided not to come for work." Deidara explained, tapping his pen on the desk to the rhythm of his favorite song.
Sakura paused, unknowingly, her eyes shifted to the photo frame of her two male friends and herself at the rooftop having mini barbeque party and roasting marshmallows. They were so happy together before, but why does everything had to end up like this?
Sakura knew that the redhead must had been thinking exactly what she was planning all these while. To run away and avoid each other, and even possible in trying to get out of each other's life.
"Sakura?"
"Oh Sorry, I was thinking about something else." Sakura shifted her seat and reached out for the photo frame that she had been staring for a while. Sakura just turned the photo to the other side and facing away from her, before returning back to her seat, looking at the other direction.
"About Sasori, lately he's been-"
"Sorry Deidara." Sakura gulped, obviously tensed when she heard his name. "I'm having a headache and I would like to rest, sorry about that." Sakura continued, rubbing her temple with her hand as if she was really having a headache.
"Oh I'm sorry yeah. Rest well and get well soon." Deidara said.
"Thanks." Sakura answered, and shut her call before Deidara could even say anything. She knew she shouldn't be so rude, but she was really tired.
She does not know what to do and who to talk to about her problems. But all of the sudden, someone surprisingly popped out from her mind, but Sakura shook her head immediately the minute she even try to think about it.
Sasuke? Haha. It was a pretty nice joke. But it wasn't funny at all.
How ridiculous. Should not be Sakura sharing her problems with her fiancée? But instead, she felt so weird, she never explained how she truly felt whenever they had dinner or after they had watched a movie.
It was Sasuke's choice, his decision, and she just shrugged it off and agreed with his idea. He wouldn't let her choose, or giving her any choices. His words were final, and Sakura just followed.
But Sasori, he treated her like his princess, doing things that were best for her, comforting her when she's hurt, being there to listen when she had so many things to pour out from her heart.
Sasori was just there, for her when she truly needed him.
But the wedding date was made, everything was prepared and everyone was expecting a perfect wedding between the Uchiha and the Haruno.
She can't tell Sasuke, she can't tell anyone, not that she does not trust Ino or Hinata, but she rather kept everything to herself instead of making the whole situation any worse and just let the damn wedding go on and get on with it.
But the more she thought about the number of days left to her wedding, the more upset she become, the more she thinks about how Sasori felt when she said those awful words, she felt even worse than before. She closed her eyes and snuggled herself into her own arms.
"Tell me who is it! Maybe I can help you!" Sakura said excitedly, waiting for Sasori to answer her question.
"You…would?" Sasori looked at her surprisingly, yet she still doesn't know she was the one that he was referring to all along.
"Yup! I'm sure the person would be the most fortunate girl in her life." Sakura grinned.
Sakura's eyes immediately flung open, remembering the things she said to Sasori back then. He told her that he liked this girl for a while, but from the details that Sasori told Sakura was that the girl he liked had a boyfriend. And Sakura was trying to cheer him up and giving him hope, telling him that the girl would like him back. And never for once did Sakura ever think that Sasori was talking about her.
But no matter what, it was actually her that gave him so much hope in the first place, and in the end, it was her that destroyed his hope and broke his heart when she ran out of the restaurant.
Before she knew what happened, she began sobbing again.
0o0
Sasori tucked the phone beneath his ear and booted his computer while grabbing a chair to sit down.
"Go check your email, I've sent you the details." Temari said excitedly.
"Okay…" Sasori just did what she had ordered him, and while Temari was waiting patiently for Sasori to finished doing what she told him to, she kept babbling about the amazing scenery in Sunagakure.
And of course, he didn't mentioned what had happened yesterday night. After Itachi found him on the swing, Itachi didn't say anything, not until when he drove Sasori home.
"Sasori, I'm-"
"I'm fine, I've expected it." Sasori forced a smile. "But if you could keep this between the two of us, I would be awfully grateful. I wouldn't want Deidara nagging all day and Hidan babbling all those words into my ear, and especially Konan as well." Sasori whispered, he hardly could even speak properly with the huge lump that was stuck in his throat.
Itachi looked away and down at his car. "I know."
"Thank you." Sasori muttered, walking back to the building without looking back.
"You've seen the mail?" Temari finally stopped talking and went back to the topic.
Sasori was scanning the mail that Temari had sent to him; it was actually an application form for going over to Sunagakure to further pursue his career.
Sasori finished reading the email and closed the page, shutting his computer. "I've a lot of things at hand to do, I'll decide that later." Sasori mumbled.
Sasori could hear a soft sigh made by Temari behind the phone.
"It's really a great opportunity, but… tell me if you decided, I'll be waiting for your answer." Temari cheerfully said even though she was a little bit sad with Sasori's straight answer.
"Un."
They ended the call after saying their goodbyes. Sasori looked at his phone and noticed the date.
'4 more days to Sakura's wedding.'
Sasori placed the phone tiredly on the table, staring into space afterwards.
He just sat there silently and the only thing he could hear was just the ticking sound of the clock.
0o0
Deidara stared at his clay figurine for the tenth time before crushing it and rolled it into a ball. He tried to use the time of quietness to get his inspiration, but it didn't helped much when two ladies were sitting in front of his desk.
"I really don't know yeah." Deidara sighed, glancing at both Ino and Hinata.
Hinata was reading a book on "How to start conversations in an awkward situation." while Ino was playing with a few leftover clay.
"Ummm, sure…" Ino mindlessly said, trying to make the clay into a shape of a star.
Deidara sighed, slouching back to his seat. "If you have nothing else then-"
"Why is Sakura so restless lately?" Ino repeated the question a hundredth times even though Deidara said he didn't know.
"And." Ino finally put the clay on his table and looked at him, "Do you know that Sasuke had actually asked Sakura to quit her job and joined his company instead?" Ino said, which startled Deidara as he try to register the new sentence in his mind was hearing the old sentence that Ino had been repeating for the past two hours.
Deidara narrowed his turquoise eyes, and straightened his posture. "He did- what?" Deidara frowned, looking at Sasori's chair before gritting his teeth.
Hinata observed Deidara before returning to her book.
Ino just returned back to her seat. "I guess you are clueless too. She told us a few days ago and Hinata and I were coming over to see how were things. But unexpectedly, she'd taken the day off." Ino grumbled, noticing that Deidara was glaring at his feet. Ino just picked up the clay and began making into random shapes, trying to ignore Deidara's sound of gritting his teeth.
In between the silence, Hinata glanced at the two and bit her lips. She put down her book and closed it, looking at the cover once again.
"Are you jealous because Sakura and Sasuke were together?" The Hyuuga asked, expecting a "No, duh." for a reply, but instead it was;
"No it wasn't me yeah! It was Sasori, he's in love with her yet he can do nothing at all!" Deidara slammed the table with his fist.
There was an awkward silence; Deidara widened his eye suddenly, realizing that he just let the cat out of the bag. He slowly shifts his seating position, wishing that he could just disappear in a second.
Hinata blinked a few times while Ino's jaw dropped and stood up, allowing the chair she had been sitting on to flip backwards.
"What do you mean that Sasori likes Sakura?" If Ino had not been spending time and money to get her manicure done, she almost just flipped the table and threw the chair out of the window without caring if she had broke her nails.
"I didn't say that, you were just hallucinating yeah." Deidara stood up as well, trying to calculate the chances he can get to run out of the office safely without harm.
As if Ino knew what he was thinking, she sat down and pointed at Deidara's seat, "You sit down as well, don't even think of running away." Ino glared at Deidara. And weirdly, the blonde who always argues just sat down quietly without complains.
"Tell me the beginning and to the end of the story, don't even try skipping any parts." Ino looked at him and knowing what the sign means, he obeyed without argument. Ino was just like Konan, or even ten times worse. She had this frightening aura around her to actually scare the shit out of his pants.
The two girls were listening attentively, without interrupting a single sentence.
After Deidara finished the whole thing, they went back to the silence again. Hinata was about to start something when Ino beaten her to it.
"All these while… Does Sakura know?" Ino asked.
"I don't think so yeah." Deidara said, oblivious to what had happened yesterday between Sasori and Sakura.
"Hinata, you can see the changes in Sakura these few weeks right? She changed, whenever we mentioned Sasuke, she always changed the subject or pretended that we never mentioned him. Years ago, she would always started the subject on him and told us how wonderful he is." Ino frowned while continuing.
"And I don't think Sasuke even love her." Ino said.
"What do you m-mean? Sasuke don't love h-her?" Hinata gasped. Deidara remained still without interrupting, pressing onto his clay once in a while.
"Don't you think so Hinata? He never take the responsibility as a boyfriend and ever since that incident, he changed, even I can see that Hinata."
"Since what?" Deidara asked.
"Since when Sakura had an accident, and she was not able to have kids anymore."
Hinata's eyes softened and looked at her lap, sighing inwardly as she decided to join in the conversation.
"Sakura had an a-accident two years ago, and the doctor says she was not able t-to conceive anymore." Hinata mumbled sadly.
"She once told me before the accident, her dream is to have a happy family with Sasuke and probably one or two kids." Ino then continued after a slight pause. "And I know she still wishes for her dream to come true, even though she was trying to hard to forget that she can't have kids anymore. Her dream… was just shattered in an instant." Ino gritted her teeth before continuing
"And guess whose fault was that?" Ino scratched her nails on the table, giving a screeching sound that Deidara and Hinata doesn't like. "It was actually Sasuke's newly appointed assistant; that bitch Karin."
"What happened?" Deidara asked.
"Sakura was going to meet Sasuke for lunch that day. And when she was walking up the stairs as the lift was suddenly faulty, and Karin just have to appear out of nowhere and pushed Sakura down the stairs when they were walking past eash other." Ino closed her eyes, unable to continue further.
Deidara looked at her, eyes slightly widened.
"And ever s-since Sakura broke the news to him, S-Sasuke seemed to ignore h-her for a while. And actually, Ino…" Hinata looked over at her best friend. "I also noticed how d-different Sasuke tre-treated her since the incident." The Hyuuga said softly.
"That's why, she always went over to the orphanage, trying to forget everything and had fun with the kids there. I've been to the orphanage with her once, and she was really happy. I couldn't even describe how huge her smile was."
Deidara slowly understand, the smile that he was witnessing lately was just fake, Sakura was pretending to be happy when she's not. She's not happy when she's going to get married with Sasuke. She was not at all.
"If only Sakura could have s-someone who truly love her the way she is." Hinata said.
'Sasori…' And that was the first thing that came into Deidara's mind.
'The ring…' He frowned. 'If it was Sasori who proposed to Sakura first, would everything change?'
Ino shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Hinata, we have to do something." Ino said.
"B-but, we are we supposed to do? Crash the w-wedding?" Hinata said in disbelief.
"The idea seems fine." Ino said.
Deidara looked at her, "Are you freaking serious?"
"Not exactly crashed the wedding though. Don't get me wrong." Ino wagged her finger. "My uncle is actually a police officer who always interrogates criminals, forcing them to say the truth. And I've been to the station once in a while so I might have picked up a trick or two."
"Your point yeah?"
"I'm going to try and make her admit that she doesn't love Sasuke anymore… but if she is really strong-willed, perhaps I could try making her admitting that she like Sasori instead."
"Sasori? What if s-she doesn't?" Hinata asked worriedly.
"Hinata, don't worry." Ino gave a pat on her friend's shoulder and a wink to Deidara. "On the whole story that Deidara had been telling, I truthfully think that Sakura had also fallen in love with Sasori."
0o0
They hadn't met for a couple of days, as if they really had deleted the other person from their mind.
Sasori didn't went for a work a few days without telling anyone what was wrong with him, while Sakura just came over to picked up a few things before returning back home, saying that she'll do her work at home instead.
The office turned so cold and silent. Why must things happen to this? Deidara slowly turned and looked out of the window, observing Sakura holding to a few things while waving for a cab.
'They are not happy, none of them were. But what on earth happened? I just got a feeling that something had happened yet I don't know what it is.' Deidara thought, returning to the clay in his hand.
"I'm not going to sit down here and do nothing yeah" Deidara stood up and walked out of the door, ignoring the fact when he just left his work completely undone.
0o0
Sakura opened the door and pulled the bulky luggage in.
"I'm so tired riding on the plane for hours and hours, I need a nice hot bath." Sakura's mother yawned, holding onto her limited edition bag that she had bought when she was overseas.
"Mum, Dad, just sit at the couch first." Sakura smiled, gesturing them at the sofa. "I'll put the things in your room and prepare a nice hot bath." The young Haruno said, taking the things to the room.
Her Mum and Dad did what they were told as they looked around the house. "Look at that, our pinky just bought a new television set."
"Mum, stop calling me that." Sakura yelled in the room.
The older male Haruno stood up and looked around the house, inspecting the cleanliness and tidiness around the house, not a speck of dirt could be seen. He smiled, before observing one of the photo frames that was slightly out of the way on the table.
He reached over to the frame and stared at it for a while before frowning. He then hand his wife the photo frame.
"Look at Sakura, she's turning rather disobedient when we are not around."
Sakura's mum shook her head and took the frame, scanning the photo before smiling.
"What's wrong? She's just having a small party with two male friends. Nothing disobedient about that." She returned to looking at the photo again, noticing how happy Sakura was in the photo.
"She's going to get married with the Uchiha's; one of the very huge and important company that are working with us. She shouldn't be with these guys." He muttered, sitting back down and looking over the photos.
"Look at this. This one is much better." Her Dad took the graduation photo that Sakura had taken with her old gang. Ino, Hinata, Sasuke, Naruto, Neji and a few others people that Sakura still had not forgotten.
"She should put more of these decent photos in the living room instead." He turned to looked at his wife, who was still looking down at the picture, frowning.
"Are you listening to what I said a few moments ago?" He asked, placing the photo back to where it was.
"This person, he looks very familiar." She pointed at Sasori, who was trying hard to smile in the photo.
The other Haruno took the picture and looked at the person that she was previously pointing at. "Who is he? Never seen him." He looked at his wife. "You are getting old, we didn't met such person before."
"But he seems so familiar, his red hair and his beige-colored eyes." She tried hard to remember but Sakura immediately broke her lines of thought.
"Mum, the bath is ready. And Dad, all the books that you wanted to read when you got of the plane were placed nicely on the table." Sakura shouted in the room.
Both of them stood up immediately and walked to the room and wanting to get their things done. Sakura's mother noticed that the frame that was still in her hand as she swiftly put it down on the table, not even caring if it's in lined with the others.
0o0
Deidara leaned against the chair glancing at the boring television once in a while. "The wedding is in a few days time yeah." Deidara mentioned.
"Yeah, so?" Sasori muttered, putting some chips in his mouth.
"You are going to grow fat if you continue like this." Deidara said, slightly changing the subject. "Remember that time when you had to run like twenty rounds around the school when you were overweight?" Deidara slightly laughed, but his laughter soon died down.
"But… are you actually coming?" Deidara asked again, wanting to make sure. Sasori had been ignoring him for the past five minutes when he was talking.
Sasori just kept silent.
The blonde went around the chair and sit on the sofa beside Sasori. "Sasori, the wedding is-"
"You know, we really have to stop talking about this." Sasori shifted his position and looked at Deidara who was staring at him with his two curious aqua blue eyes.
Deidara sighed, turning to the other side and looked at the television instead while Sasori was enjoying the silence in the room.
In the midst of all this, something remarkably shiny caught the blonde's attention. The ring that was supposing to be thrown out of the window a few weeks ago was still there, on the table. But it seemed that Sasori did not noticed or cared about it anymore.
'The ring! Yes! The ring!' An idea suddenly struck his mind, but how was he supposed to get it? After thinking for a few seconds, Deidara straightened his posture.
"Hey Sasori, I'm a little thirsty." Deidara said, giving a few coughs.
"Un." He stood up and walked to the kitchen, throwing the leftover chips on the table.
Deidara quickly bent forward and grabbed the ring, slipping it into his pocket and pretended nothing happened as he continued watching the television.
"Here." Sasori handed the drink to him, the other hand holding to the new bag of chips that Sasori had taken when he went to the kitchen, and totally ignoring the fact that there were still some leftovers in the previous bag.
"Thanks yeah." He said, gulping the drink in a few gulps.
'Sasori, don't blame me for this yeah.' Deidara thought, placing the empty glass on the table while glancing between him and the television.
'If you are not going to do this right, then let the pro do it for you yeah.'
0o0
Sakura looked over her shoulder, and walked out of the kitchen, running her hair through her finger while wondering who was the visitor that was ringing the bell.
She opened the door and to her surprise, it was Ino and Hinata, standing there and waving at her.
"Is your Dad and Mum in? We've bought something for them." Ino said, raising a bottle of champagne.
Sakura smiled and welcomed them in. "They are not in, they've went over to visit some of their friends in town." Sakura took the bottle and headed to the kitchen, putting down the glass bottle and took two glass of water for them.
"Thanks." Hinata and Ino both said in unison, taking the drink from Sakura. After taking a few sip, they placed it on the table just beside them.
"Are you feeling unwell lately? We went over to your workplace and you weren't there." Ino began to start a light conversation.
"Flu." Sakura lied, still putting a fake smile on her face.
"Did you s-see a doctor?" Hinata asked in concern, putting her hand on Sakura's shoulder as comfort.
But before Sakura could reply, Ino gave a fake smile and cut in. "Or are you running away from the fact that you don't love Sasuke anymore?" Ino asked, deciding to go straight to the subject instead of beating around the bush.
"Ino, what are you talking about? I love Sasuke." Sakura frowned.
Having a second thought about the decision, Hinata bit her lips and decided to cut in. "Ino, I t-think w-we should-"
"Hinata! We had decided on this already and I'm not going to back out." Ino turned away from Hinata and glared at Sakura. "You know what I'm talking about.
"Stop forcing me Ino! I don't know what the hell you are talking about. I always love Sasuke!" Sakura suddenly screamed out all the frustration she had and accidentally knocked the ceramic cup on the table and shattering the glass. She clicked her tongue and bent over and carelessly picked up the shattered glasses, accidentally cutting her finger.
She took in a deep breath and continued picking up the piece, ignoring the pain.
"Sakura, your hand is b-bleeding!" Hinata bent forward to inspect Sakura's hand, but she shrugged it off and stood up, throwing the pieces that she had been picking up back on the floor angrily.
"I'm fine Hinata, just go away!" Sakura yelled at her.
Hinata was taken by surprise. She immediately stood up and looked away while playing with her clothes.
"I-I a-am s-so s-so-sor-sorry." Hinata said softly, she was in verge of tears and was about to cry any moment.
"Sakura, you don't have to treat Hinata like that!" Ino shouted.
Sakura's eyes immediately softened, realizing that she had just thrown tantrum at her best friend when she was just trying to care about her. She shook her head, trying to get rid of all the thoughts she had out of her mind and approached Hinata as she took her arm with the other hand that was not cut by the broken pieces. "I'm sorry Hinata, I didn't meant it, I was just…" Sakura gave an inward sigh and looked down. "I'm really sorry."
Hinata smiled and took Sakura's injured hand. "Your hand is hu-hurt." Hinata took out a packet of tissue from her bag and helped Sakura to wipe her bloodstained hand. The Hyuuga then took out a cute purple plaster and pasted it on her wound. "There, all done." Hinata smiled, looking at Sakura.
Sakura's mouth slightly quivered as she looked down at her hand before putting both hands on her face.
"I'm sorry…"
Ino bit her lips, refusing to end the whole argument so easily. "Sakura! Listen to me, you are in a delusion, Sasuke- he was with that bitc…" Ino closed her eyes, deciding to pick her words carefully.
"He changed, everyone changed, love changes, relationship changes, you have to stop lying to yourself. You changed as well, you don't love him anymore!"
"No, nothing had change. I still love Sasuke, and the wedding is going on." Sakura cried out.
'She just kept refusing to admit that she doesn't love Sasuke anymore.' Ino bit her lips, deciding to go on to plan B. 'Then I shall just try the second method.'
"Sakura stop it! What about Sasori?" Ino said.
Hinata blinked, realizing what Ino was trying to do.
"What d-do you mean? What does this relate to Sasori?" Sakura blurted out.
Ino sighed, "I shall just skipped the part when you were hiding so much things from us." The blonde said before continuing. "Deidara had told us everything. Sakura, if you actually didn't know, Sasori loves you!" Ino blurted out.
"I'm not joking Sakura, I love you."
'Of course, not even Deidara knew that Sasori had confessed to me last evening. And Deidara didn't knew almost the whole story, if Ino actually knew that Sasuke was out with Karin back then, she'll rip her to shreds this time.' Sakura looked away, and tried hard to keep her expression as calm as possible.
"R-really?" That's all Sakura could say.
"What do you mean by just 'Really?' He likes you more than Sasuke does!"
Hinata glanced at both of them, but she could not find a chance to interrupt the conversation. She was lost in between the fight.
"No! I-I… I don't get it Ino, why is everyone pressuring me about the relationship I had with Sasuke? Wasn't it great?" Sakura waved her arms around.
"Sakura, don't lie to yourself anymore. Admit it, do you feel great?" Ino challenged her back. Sakura widened her eyes, and indeed, she was asking exactly the same question that Ino had directed to her.
She does not. She does not feel great at all.
"And tell yourself, do you feel happy when you are with Sasuke?"
She does not. She does not feel happy at all.
"And most importantly, tell yourself…" Ino paused before continuing.
"Do you like Sasori, even when it was just one moment, just one second?" Ino said.
Sakura's heart almost stopped when she heard the sentence.
"If there was a chance for me to turn back the time…"
"I would rather be with Sasori than to be with you."
It was true, right at the point, she was really saying what she had been feeling all the time.
She would really turn back the time if she could.
And before the wedding that could have locked her fate, she still had the chance to choose before she could regret forever.
Sakura was really harsh on Sasori last night, and it hurts her deeply inside. It was as if a huge knife just pierces through her heart a million of times. But when she witnessed Sasuke and Karin together, she was just breaking down and crying, nothing else.
But after saying all those cruel words and ran out, crying on her own like she had never cried before. Her heart was so in pain, real pain, and she could not breathe for once. It hurts her when she just shouted those words to him, and it really tears her apart when she saw the pair of dejected brown eyes staring back at her when she shouted all those words at him.
She does not want to say all those heartless things at first, but when she felt the cold ring touches the skin around her neck, she just could not betrayed Sasuke and even go as far to admitting that she love Sasori too.
But this time, she was not going to stop.
"Ino… Hinata…" Sakura started sobbing, slowly walking towards the two and hugged them. Hinata and Ino stretched their arms and welcomed Sakura to cry on their shoulder.
"Sakura, you have t-to believe in us, we are your best friends, and we will always be there for you no matter what." Hinata patted Sakura's back.
Ino smiled, resting her chin on Sakura's stiff shoulder. "Just say it Sakura, I promise on my life that I would not tell a single soul about it.
Sakura closed her eyes, yet tears still continued rolling down her cheeks.
"I-I…" She continued sobbing, yet she was determined to finish the sentence that she wanted to say so much.
"I really really love S-Sasori too…"
To be continue
Author's Note:
Yay, finally finished the chapter. Had the worst writer's block of all time at the last part… I think there's 2 or 3 chapters left, for your information.
I'm really amazed that there are still people out there reading this crap even with all the depressing chapters previously. I'm really really touched like seriously (LOVES~)
-pocky