NOTES: I sort of wanted to name this chapter "Don't kill the writer". Please remember I did promise a Sidlotte HEA. But who doesn't love a little argument between the two of them? Or rather a big argument? They will get there. Some things need to be sorted out first.

~~Sidney~~

I distanced myself from practically everyone during the day and focused on the work at hand. It wasn't much of a distraction, but at least it kept me busy. I was angry, hurt, frustrated, conflicted.

Why was Stringer here? It had come very apparent that he wanted Charlotte during the summer months. What bothered me, was how he thought she was a prize to be won. Charlotte was no prize. She was a gift that only she would choose who deserved her. I thought, at one time, I was that man. Now so many men could swoop in and make me be a mere memory of her past. I couldn't allow it. I had to find a way to earn her trust, her love, and her future back. She was quickly slipping away from me. I could feel it and sense it every time I was near her. I couldn't continue making her wait for me. I had to come clean.

When everyone else headed home for the evening, I continued working well into the dark of the night. I had to keep busy, so I wouldn't go mad.

"Parker," Crowe called out. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Trying to get some work done," I shouted back from the top of the building.

"Does this have anything to do with Charlotte?" he asked. I huffed and hit the nail with the hammer even harder than before. He crawled up the ladder and stood across from me. "What happened?"

"Stringer is back in town," I said hitting another nail with as much force as possible. "He instantly swooped in on Charlotte and tried to stake his claim on her. He even held her hand for a moment. She seemed completely drawn to him. They had their moments of flirtatious behavior at times before, which bothered me then, but now it's different. Now I'm not even in the running." I hit another nail then slumped down against the wall and leaned back against it. I wasn't planning to pour my heart out to him, or anyone for that matter. But it just sort of came spilling out of my mouth without my control.

"You could change that, you know. Let her know you didn't marry Eliza. Let her know you still want her," he suggested. "You'll free the rest of us from keeping your secret as well."

"And how do I do that?" I said angrily. "I'm not entirely free from Eliza yet, nor am I free from Tom's debt I made my duty to solve. How am I to tell her without any guarantee?"

"You just do," he said. "Charlotte's fairly smart and level-headed. I'm sure she can understand the situation and more than likely help you solve the dilemma."

I sighed and stared blankly at the floor. I contemplated what he said. Would Charlotte understand? I couldn't be certain.

Crowe came over and sat down next to me with a sigh. "I don't understand love, truly I don't. It amuses me, but I don't understand it. How does anyone know?"

I chuckled and thought about it for a moment. Before Charlotte, I don't think I truly understood love either. "I don't rightly understand it myself. It's like an overwhelming need to be near them, to be more for them, to give them every piece of yourself without any expectation in return, and knocking every defense down and being utterly vulnerable in their presence. At any moment she could completely destroy you, but you just don't care any longer. She could rip your heart out and you'd gladly let her. Nothing else in the world even matters anymore, but her. Every breath you take, every little thing you do has a purpose for her. When you find the woman you would give up everything for, just for the slightest return of their affection, that's when you know. It's precisely what I plan to do."

"That sounds rather brutal," he stated. "Why would anyone willingly want to fall in love if that's what it means?"

I shook my head and laughed. "It's the ultimate question of existence. Yet, for thousands of years we've continued to do it."

"I can't picture myself ever getting to that point with anyone. I think I'd rather not marry at all if that's what it means. Or if I must, I'll marry for money rather than love. At least I'd be getting something out of it."

I laughed and thought how not long ago that's exactly how I felt.

"I plan to go to London at the end of the week. I have some business matters to attend to," I said.

"I suppose I'll join you. I could use a little stimulation from London society."

"I have a fighting lesson to teach Charlotte and Alison in the morning then work here. I'll leave at first light the following morning."

"A fighting lesson?" he questioned saying each word slowly.

I smiled at the sound of his concern. "After Charlotte was attacked by Mr. Fritz, she asked if I could show her how to throw a punch. Of course, I agreed. I wasn't prepared for her to bring Alison, but it's probably for the best for them both to know how to protect themselves being here all day."

"How long has this been going on?" he asked.

"Just this morning. I'll meet with them at the cove tomorrow morning and have them practice a little more."

"I'm not entirely sure why, but the thought of women fighting is quite the turn on," Crowe said.

I laughed. "It's quite unbearable."

"Perhaps I should join you on this little teaching session just to make sure everything is on the up and up."

"Suit yourself. I leave for the cove at first light," I explained.

"Then we should probably both get some sleep if we have to get up that early in the morning," he suggested.

"I need to discuss some business matters with Mary anyway. Hopefully she's still up when I get back to Trafalgar House."

We both got up off the floor and crawled down the latter to the street to start the walk to the other side of town. Talking with Crowe did help a little. I was still upset about Stringer, but just getting it all out of my system changed the way I felt tremendously.

"Tell me, Crowe," I began. "How many days is it now without a drink?" It was rather obvious he hadn't had a drink in a while. He was quite different than his usual drunken self.

He smirked. "I've had one of two here and there. I'm trying not to drink quite as much though."

"Any particular reason why?" I asked with a smirk.

"I guess I'm just tired of always being the drunken fool that doesn't amount to much."

"Not a certain Heywood sister, then?"

"Certainly not," he laughed. "I've barely spoken to Alison since the ball."

I dropped my head and my forehead wrinkled with confusion. I was sure he was beginning to have feelings for Alison. "I suppose I'm not very good at understanding other's love lives. First Arthur and now you."

"What happened with Arthur?" he asked.

I sighed. "Apparently he's in love with his maid. All along I thought he was trying to gain Georgiana's affections, but he has no interest in her."

"Georgiana would eat him alive," he laughed.

I joined in his laughter. "You're probably right."

By the time I returned to Trafalgar House, everyone was already in their rooms for the night. I needed to discuss some business matters with them, but it would have to wait until the morning.

At the first sight of morning light, I left the house and headed for the cove. I met Crowe halfway and the both of us walked silently through the cold, misty air. I was rather surprised Crowe actually got up to join me. I suspected he'd decide against it and stay in his warm bed.

When we arrived, Charlotte and Alison weren't there, so we sat silently waiting for them. I had come to the conclusion that if Lady Denham accepted my proposition, I'd tell Charlotte everything and hope some miracle would happen with Eliza and I'd be entirely free from her also.

"When do they normally get here?" Crowe asked. "I'm freezing my ass off."

"You can always go back to the hotel," I suggested.

He sighed. "I'll wait a little longer." He wrapped his coat around himself tighter and ducked his face into the collar to keep himself warm.

Finally, after a very long wait, we heard a carriage approaching. Both Crowe and I stood as they started the climb down the embankment. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Charlotte like it did every time I saw her.

"Good morning, Mr. Parker," she said. I smiled but before I could say anything in return, Crowe opened his mouth.

"You're late!"

Both girls turned towards him with scowls on their faces. "Good morning to you too, Mr. Crowe. We apologize for keeping both of you waiting. Lady Denham was in a little distress this morning and needed some assistance," Charlotte explained

"What kind of distress?" I asked.

Charlotte turned her attention back towards me. "She's having some renovations done and had quite the fool trying to rob her of her fortune. He would have destroyed her home if she had hired him."

I smirked and looked her up and down. "And you helped her out of her distress?"

"Of course, I did. I redesigned the room and explained what this supposed architect was doing wrong. I'm planning to bring Mr. Stringer by to help her even more."

Stringers name leaving her lips caused that angry fire to build in my gut. Did she really want to bring him there for Lady Denham or perhaps it was more for herself?

"We should get started since we're getting a late start," I suggested.

Alison and Charlotte took their positions and began to practice like they had yesterday. Crowe got comfortable on a rock and watched intently. I stood with my arms across my chest giving corrections and support when needed. I showed them a few defensive moves beyond the punching as well as some diversion techniques. Both of them took everything in and found new strength in everything I taught them.

"Let's take a break," I suggested. "You both look a little worn out." Both of them let their shoulders drop and sighed heavily.

"I don't understand why men do this for fun. It's exhausting," Alison said.

"Yes, but it's a great stress relief," Crowe said.

"For me, it only causes more tension," Alison added.

"Perhaps you aren't doing it correctly. I'm sure those measly punches could barely hurt a fly," Crowe teased. Alison didn't seem to like his comment since she glared at him, which caused Crowe to snicker.

"I don't see you fighting. Perhaps you don't even know how," Alison implied.

He laughed. "I assure you, I know how to fight when I need to."

Alison raised her nose to the air and huffed. "I'm sure you do. Could you even see your opponent in your drunken state?"

Crowe didn't respond. Instead, he got up and challenged her to practice with him. She hesitantly observed him for a moment before standing and accepting his challenge. There was a new determination in Alison's face that wasn't there before. She was bound to show him what she could do.

"This is going to end badly," Charlotte said standing next to me. As much as I wanted to pay attention to what was happening in front of me, all I could focus on was the heat coming off of Charlotte and consuming me. Every breath I took I breathed her in and consumed her. How badly I wished I could touch her, hold her, to kiss her like we had done on the cliff tops all those weeks ago. Anything.

I tried to focus and could see Alison punching Crowe's hands with a force she never used on her sister. Every time she punched him, he would laugh causing Alison to get even angrier and hit him harder. Finally, she hit his open hand hard enough that Crowe actually had to shake the sting off. This pleased Alison as she now had a grin on her face.

"Alright, I concede," Crowe said. "Perhaps you are stronger than I assumed."

Alison sat down on a rock, now out of breath and sweating but definitely proud of herself.

"I apologize for my assumptions. As a way to make it up to you, allow me to walk you into town to the building site," Crowe offered. Alison glared at him for a moment, but ultimately accepted his offer. With them walking along the beach, Charlotte and I were left alone.

"Do you want to head into town as well?" I asked.

"I think I'd like to get a little more practice in," she said. "I'm not quite sure my punch is hard enough."

"Show me what you mean," I asked.

She stood and got into position and punched towards the air, but I knew what she was talking about almost instantly. "Step into it."

"Whatever does that mean?" she asked.

"Like this," I said getting into position and showing her how to take a step with the opposite foot to the hand she's using to punch with while swinging her fist. She tried it and slightly smiled at getting it so easily.

I stood in front of her and put my hands up so she could practice on me. She looked at me hesitantly and her mouth hung open for a moment. "You have to practice on someone."

"I can't hit you," she said.

"You're not hitting me, you're practicing," I assured. She sighed, but ultimately gave in and lightly punched my hands with her balled fists. With every punch my hands warmed from her touch. How badly I wanted to grab her hand and pull her into me. "You're going to have to hit harder than that."

Her hands dropped to her side. "I don't want to hurt you."

I smirked and raised my eyebrow at her. "I assure you, there's no possible way you're going to hurt me."

"Isn't that kind of the point when you punch someone; to hurt them?" she asked looking more irritated with my assumption that she wouldn't hurt me. "What are you teaching me if I can't hurt someone?"

My arms dropped again. "I didn't say you wouldn't hurt someone, just not me. I've been boxing since I lived in Antigua, I'm not one to be hurt easily. Now come on," I pressed. I raised my hands again waiting for her to take her shot. "As hard as you can."

"I'm not going to hit you," she said matter-of-factly.

I felt the defeat of her words and let my guard down. "Charlotte, come on." While I was defenseless, she took her shot. With all her force, she punched me. Yet, since I had dropped my hands thinking she wouldn't go through with it, instead of putting all her force into my open hand, she punched me in the face. The sting hit me rather hard and I fell backwards against the sand. My hand went to my nose and touched the blood coming out of it. I was in quite a haze when I felt Charlotte kneel down next to me. How on earth had this small woman landed me on my ass?

"Oh," Charlotte said breathlessly. Her small hand was on my chest while she looked over me. "Are you alright?" Her voice was timid, and her face was full of fear.

"I'm so sorry, Sidney. I didn't mean to hit you in the face."

She pulled up a layer from her skirt and started to wipe the blood from my nose. All I could do was laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked irritated. "Should I get the doctor? Are you in shock?"

I leaned up on my elbows and looked at her with a grin on my face. "I think you have mastered the element of surprise."

She let out the breath she was holding then slapped my arm. "Did you do this on purpose?"

"Did I let you hit me in the nose on purpose?" I asked in surprise. "Certainly not."

She settled back on the sand and stared at me with questioning eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I assure you. I've had worse injuries," I said wiping my nose against my shirt sleeve.

"You had me worried I had really done something horrible," she said.

"Well you did," I said. "You learned how to protect yourself. Punch someone like that and you won't have any trouble again."

"Isn't that a good thing? Why is that horrible?" she asked.

I ducked my head to hide my smile. "Now that I won't have to teach you how to punch someone, I doubt I'll ever hear you say my name again after today," I said.

She stood up and took a step away. "I apologize, Mr. Parker. I shouldn't have been so forward. I was out of line. I should have known better. I'll go now."

She gathered up her coat and started to walk away as quickly as she could. I tried to get back to my feet and chase after her but was struggling just a little. "Charlotte wait," I called. She stopped but didn't turn around to face me. I got to my feet and stopped a good distance behind her searching for the right words. "I didn't marry her." She turned around with confusion across her face. "I've wanted to tell you. I couldn't go through with the wedding."

"But you must. You made a promise."

"I did," I said taking a step closer to her and looking at the ground before making eye contact with her. "But I made a promise to you first, even if I never got the words out."

"Mrs. Campion released you?" she asked. My heart skipped a beat knowing I wasn't entirely free yet.

"She will. I've made it perfectly clear I won't marry her."

She shook her head and looked confused. "What about Tom and the debt?"

"I'll find a way to get my brother out of his mess," I said taking yet another step closer to her.

"Lady Denham. She's expecting her money. She's calling on you to come see her immediately. She's going to throw Tom and you in the debtor's prison," she said.

"Charlotte," I started now close enough to touch her. "I don't care. It's worth it if I can have you in the end."

Her confusion grew with every word I spoke. "Have you even considered Mary and the children? What will happen to them? What will happen to Sanditon if you don't pay Lady Denham?"

She was getting angry, which only made me angry. I had thought this would make her happy. We could find a way to be together when all this was over. "I'm tired of sacrificing what I want for my brother mishaps. It's his doing. He can figure it out."

She looked hurt. "How can you say that? He's your brother. He's depending on you."

I was getting angrier with every word she said. "Tom isn't even here in Sanditon. He clearly doesn't care much for his family if he can't even face his own debt and expects me to give up everything for him."

"And what of Sanditon?" she shouted. "Is it just supposed to fall to ruins because you gave up on it?"

I scoffed and looked away for a moment. "What is Sanditon to me? I didn't ask for any of this, yet here I am expected to sacrifice everything."

"It's what you do for family," she yelled. "It's what I did for your family. I had accepted our fate. I had let you go because your family means the world to me. You aren't the only one who sacrificed."

"And here I am telling you we don't have to sacrifice anymore," I shouted forcefully. "Or is it that you've already moved on?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked angrily.

"I saw you with Stringer yesterday," I said matching her anger. "The way he looks at you and you at him. I'm not even convinced Mr. Robinson doesn't have similar feelings for you. Perhaps you're stringing both of them along."

Her mouth hung open with shock. I knew as soon as it left my mouth it was wrong. Angry tears filled her eyes. "Are you accusing me of being a harlot?"

"No. Charlotte… Please…" I sighed with every word, feeling helpless in everything I said.

She turned and started to walk up the beach. I chased after her and grabbed her arm to pull her back.

She jerked her arm away from me just like I had taught her. "Don't touch me!" she shouted.

"Please forgive me."

She stared at me for a moment before speaking again. "First you tell me you've been lying to me, then you tell me you don't care what happens to your family or Sanditon, then you accuse me of being a harlot and I'm supposed to forgive you?"

I swallowed thickly against the lump in my throat. I should have gone on keeping her in the dark until I had it all figured out. My own jealousy of Mr. Stringer got in the way. "Allow me to explain."

"I don't need any more explanation. You've made it perfectly clear," she said forcefully. "Now let me make something perfectly clear for you. I will not, nor will I ever be persuaded to marry a man who so easily turns his back on his family or his commitments."

It felt like my heart had just stopped with her words.

"Good day, Mr. Parker."

I watched as she walked away feeling like my whole world had just ended. I slumped down in the sand and tried to wrap my head around what just happened. There was no way out of any of this. Charlotte was lost to me for good.

~~Alison~~

"Thank you for walking with me," Mr. Crowe said as we walked up the beach towards town together. "I felt like it might be a good idea to give them two a moment alone. The tension between them is suffocating."

I laughed. "You sense it too? I would have never agreed to learn how to fight nor would I have allowed Charlotte if you hadn't told me about Mr. Parker not marrying Mrs. Campion so he could be with Charlotte. She still loves him. I think she's just afraid of her feelings."

"I think it might be true for Sidney as well. He's been hurt by love in the past and it truly terrifies him to give himself to someone else."

"You speak of love as if you have some authority on the subject. Have you ever been in love, Mr. Crowe?" I asked.

"I can't say that I have. But, watching my two best friends fall in love has given me a lot of perspective on the matter. Mr. Parker describes his love for Charlotte in quite an intolerable way. I can't imagine myself ever being that out of control."

"Perhaps, love is similar to being drunk," I said. "You lose all control of your senses, you give yourself to the sensation the alcohol assures you, you long for your next drink, and you sacrifice everything for just a small amount."

"When you put it that way, it makes perfect sense," he said with a grin. "Makes me believe you have some authority on love."

"I'm afraid you'd be mistaken," I said with a smile. "My only experience with love is watching my own parent's relationship. They would do practically anything for each other."

"I can only imagine how much they love each other, having twelve kids and all," he said with a chuckle causing me to stifle a laugh.

"I did want to ask you something," I began. "It has to do with my family."

"Oh?"

"My brother is getting married in Willingden during the time the Prince Regent and Lady Worchester visit. Charlotte and I are torn in both directions. If it's possible, we were hoping to make a day trip to Willingden to be there for the wedding and then come right back. We would just need someone with a carriage who might be willing to accompany us there."

"Are you asking if you can borrow my carriage?" he questioned.

"You'd be invited to the wedding as well. It'll be a small country affair, with lots of food, lots of drinks, plenty of amusement," I said hoping to entice him.

He hesitated for a moment before answering. I couldn't tell if that was a good sign or not. "I'm afraid I won't be in Sanditon when the Prince Regent is here."

"Oh, I thought…"

He stopped and turned towards me. "The thing is, I'm leaving for London with Mr. Parker tomorrow and I don't think I'll be returning. I apologize if it's not what you were hoping to hear."

"No need to apologize. We have already sent a letter to our family informing them we wouldn't be able to attend. I only thought it was worth a try."

"If something changes, I'll let you know," he said.

I smiled and nodded my head. "I appreciate the gesture. I think I'll walk back and check on Charlotte." I turned and began walking in the opposite direction we were headed.

"Would you like me to walk with you?"

"I'm perfectly well. Thank you, though." I walked away faster, so he didn't see my distress. I was sure he would say yes. While we've both been at the building site, we have talked a few times. Mostly our talks have been about the building or how we got roped into a project neither of us wanted to be involved in, yet here we were. We had a mutual understanding of each other, and he was growing on me as a friend. I couldn't blame him for not being available. It wasn't as if he rejected me of his own free will, he just wasn't available. I could accept that.

I saw Charlotte running up the beach looking dreadfully distressed. As she got closer, I could see she was crying. There was also blood on her dress. I had a terrified feeling go through me. What had Mr. Parker done?" I ran to her and she collided into me and cried. 'What happened?" I asked.

She shook her head against my shoulder and tightened her arms around me. "Did he hurt you? Are you alright?"

She released her arms and took a step away, but I didn't release my arms from her shoulders. "I'm fine," she insisted, wiping away her tears.

"You aren't fine, Charlotte. What did he do?"

"He didn't marry her," she said between cries.

"Are you not happy?" I asked.

"How can I be happy about it? What will happen to Sanditon?" she cried.

"Are you more concerned about Sanditon than your own happiness?" I asked. "Charlotte you love him. If he's willing to give up everything for you, isn't that enough?"

She took a step back and stared at me with large eyes, tears still streamed down her face. "Did you know?" she asked.

I sighed and looked down. "I only found out at the ball from Mr. Crowe."

"And you kept it from me?" she asked taking another step away from me.

"Charlotte, I was sworn to secrecy. He wanted to tell you on his own terms."

"How could you?" Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. She turned away from me and ran towards the water.

"Charlotte!" I called. She wouldn't listen and just kept running. I knew she needed time alone to process the information she was given. I hoped she would understand and forgive not only Mr. Parker but also me.

I finished the walk to the building site where Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson had already directed the men with Charlotte's absence.

"Miss Heywood," Mr. Robinson greeted. "Where might Charlotte be?"

"I'm afraid my sister is a little out of sorts today. I'm not sure she will be coming in. Is there something I might be able to help you with?"

They both gave me concerned expressions. "Is she ill?" Mr. Stringer asked.

I smiled trying to reassure them she wasn't ill. "She will be fine. I think she just needs some time to herself for a little bit."

"We just need her to look over a few changes before we move forward," Mr. Robinson explained unfolding some papers in front of me to look at.

"Miss Heywood!" Arthur greeted politely. "Where might the other Miss Heywood sister be? I'm in need of my assignment for the day."

"I'm not sure what…"

"Miss Heywood, where might Charlotte be?" Mr. Parker asked breathlessly from behind me.

"Miss Heywood," Mr. Crowe said. "Could I perhaps have a moment of your time?"

I was overwhelmed with all of them. All needing Charlotte. All having their own agendas for her presence. All not understanding how much pressure she was under with the lot of them.

"I…"

"Alison," Charlotte said walking up behind us. "Please take a moment to talk to Mr. Crowe. Arthur, can you please go to the post office and check if we've had any packages? Please check for my own personal mail as well." She looked pained and I could tell she had splashed some cold sea water on her face since her hair was still damp. Her clothing was wet where I saw blood earlier as if she tried to wash it out. Despite all of that, she looked at all of the men with a coldness to her. She had changed in a matter of moments from distressed to hardened.

"Yes, miss," Arthur said running off towards the post office.

"Mr. Parker, I have no interest in talking to you right now. Please either help with the rebuild or go about your business."

"Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson, what is it you needed?" she asked stepping towards the papers Mr. Robinson had laid out.

I looked at Mr. Parker who for a moment looked as if he couldn't move no matter how much he tried. He looked just as pained as Charlotte but also appeared to have had a bloody nose. I could only imagine my sister had punched him in the face. What might have he done to cause her to punch him?

"Miss Heywood?" Mr. Crowe said breaking me from my fixation on Sidney Parker.

I walked towards Mr. Crowe and followed him a distance away from everyone else. "What is it?"

"I wanted to make sure you weren't too upset," he said looking at me intently like he was looking for a sign of my distress.

"I'm more concerned with my sister right now. Mr. Parker told her, and she's rather distressed. I'm not entirely sure why. I thought she would be happy."

"I would think the same thing."

"I need to go see to her. Please excuse me," I said.

Now that all the men had dispersed, I walked over to Charlotte and put my hand on her shoulder. She shrugged me away. "I'm fine, Alison. You don't need to fuss."

"Of course, I do. You're my sister. I'd do anything for you."

She turned towards me and fresh tears sprung to her eyes. "Right now, I need you to let me be," she said.

I nodded my head and walked away even if it was only a few feet away. I had no plans to leave her side for the day.

She immersed herself in work, even getting in the middle of things by laying bricks or swinging a hammer. She was taking her anger or maybe her hurt out by building and creating. Everyone around her could sense something was wrong, but she didn't let on what it was to anyone. I didn't even know what all happened. She just worked harder, built faster, directed everyone with a force I never knew she had. I didn't quite know what to think of my sister. She had definitely changed in the time she'd been in Sanditon. I'm not sure it was for the better. Perhaps Mr. Parker wasn't good for her after all.

NOTES: Just want to give a huge THANK YOU for all the reviews. All of you make me laugh, make me smile, sometimes even make me cry happy tears. You are all the sweetest and are definitely making these quarantine days bearable. I'm horrible at responding to reviews. Hopefully you'll all forgive me. I just figure all of you would rather have me write a new chapter in my limited spare time than respond to reviews. If you really need an answer to something or you're confused by something, I will do my best to answer those type of comments. Thanks for reading.