~~Sidney~~

Crowe and I sat in the carriage across from each other silently. Both of us distracted with our own thoughts. My thoughts of Charlotte, of course. I never did get a chance to talk to her, not that she would have talked to me anyway. She was avoiding me. I didn't blame her. I had once again ruined everything. I was about to give up on love, give up on being happy. Clearly, I wasn't marriage material. How many times could the universe tell me before I finally got it. Yet here I was about to make another attempt to fix the situation to prove to Charlotte I was worthy of her.

When we pulled up in front of the London House, Crowe got out and bid me farewell before heading down the street. I had an idea where he was headed. There was a pub just down the street and he seemed like he needed a drink badly. I hadn't a clue what was bothering him, but I had my own issues to deal with. I brought my bag into the house and put it away before heading to the bank. I had a plan. I hoped it would work.

I walked into the bank and met with a banker I'd known for years. I explained how I needed to pay off my brother's debts with the bank then look into securing a loan in my own name. I had already talked to the bank the last time I came trying to get my brother out of debt, but at the time, I was trying to get my brother a loan, not myself. With my name on the loan, it had to work.

Unfortunately, they didn't give me quite as much as I needed. I withdrew just about everything I had plus the loan. I had already exhausted every connection I had asking for loans or investments the last time I came to London. There wasn't anything else I could do.

I walked into the pub and searched the crowded room for Crowe. He sat alone at a corner table deep in thought. I sat down across from him and poured myself a drink from the bottle sitting at the table. He barely noticed I had sat down.

"Something bothering you?" I asked.

He took a sharp breath in and finally rose his eyes, noticing me for the first time.

"I didn't see you there, Parker."

"Clearly."

I took a drink and watched as his head dropped again and his forehead wrinkled with worry.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked taking another drink.

He rose his eyes again before dropping them again. "I'm conflicted, I guess."

"About what?" I asked with a smirk.

"I'm not one to feel guilty for my actions. I own what I do and what I say quite easily. Yet, at the moment I'm having an overwhelming amount of guilt consume me," he explained.

I poured another drink and leaned back in my chair. "Guilt about what?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm not quite sure. It shouldn't be bothering me so much. It's not like I lied to her. I don't plan to return to Sanditon."

I rose an eyebrow. "Does this have anything to do with Alison?"

He nodded his head, still deep in thought. "She asked if I could accompany her and Charlotte in my carriage back to Willingden for their brother's wedding next week. Apparently, it's during the Prince Regent visit so they want to rush there and come right back practically unnoticed by anyone of importance."

"And you told her you couldn't?"

"Yes, but now I just feel horrible. The look on her face still plays in my mind. And afterwards she took off looking for Charlotte then wouldn't talk to me all day during the rebuild."

"I thought you didn't care about Alison?" I asked with a knowing look on my face.

"I don't!" he assured. "I just like teasing her. She's easy to talk to once we came to an understanding."

"Sounds to me as if you do," I pointed out taking another drink to hide my grin.

"Is that what this is?" he asked with a confused look on his face. "Am I having guilt because I have feelings for her?"

"Let me ask you something," I began sitting up and leaning against the table. "Did you give up drinking because Lady Denham asked you to or because you wanted to for her? Did you continue to not drink because you wanted to be taken seriously by everyone around you or because you wanted to be taken seriously by her? Does it bother you that she didn't like the answer you gave her or because you think you hurt her?"

He slumped back in his chair and stared at me with a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Let me ask you one more question," I said. "If you never see her again, can you survive it?"

He thought it over for only a moment before jumping from his chair. "Have you finished whatever business you need to attend to here in London?"

"Not entirely," I answered with a confused expression.

"Can you finish up so we can get going back to Sanditon?" he said.

I smiled. "I thought you weren't going back?"

"I think I have to. As surprising as it might sound, I think I'm in love."

I downed the rest of my drink and stood. I put my hand on his shoulder and smiled. "I'll finish up and be ready to leave in an hour or two," I said. As much as I had seen it coming for a while, I wasn't sure he'd receive a favorable answer from Alison. Especially now with Charlotte suffering from another broken heart at my doing. She seemed like the type of sister who wouldn't dare enjoy happiness while her sister grieved. On top of that, she seemed to have an indifference to Crowe that I didn't think she could let go of so easily. He was going to have to do something to earn her trust. Much like I was going to have to do for Charlotte. At the moment, she wasn't even going to let me try, but in time, I had hope we could work out our differences. I might be holding on to something impossible, but I wasn't ready to give up just yet.

After quickly finishing up my business affairs, I met Crowe back at the house with the carriage ready to go. He was anxious to get going and hurried the driver through town.

"Easy, Crowe. We don't want to go over in a carriage accident in your pursuit of a young lady," I teased.

"Aren't you too in pursuit of a young lady?" he asked.

I dropped my head. "I'm afraid that pursuit is unobtainable at the moment. It'll take far more than I have right now to win her trust back."

"Is this really what love is?" he asked changing the subject. "I feel like I might burst if we don't get there soon enough."

"You realize she might say no. Have you given her any indication that you may be interested?" I asked.

"I'll find a way to convince her," he decided.

"If I were you, I'd think about a grand gesture. A girl like Alison or even Charlotte, they won't say yes to the first man who asks. They want to know the depths of your feelings. They want to know it's true."

"What would you suggest?" he asked.

"I couldn't tell you, to be honest. I've failed in every attempt. I hope you have better luck than I did."

"I'll have to think on what grand gesture I can offer her."

The rest of the ride was rather silent. The thought of Crowe and Alison forming a potential engagement saddened me even more. How would Charlotte feel if her younger sister was to be engaged before her? Would Alison even engage herself to Crowe? If Charlotte would have just listened to me instead of getting upset and leaving me, perhaps things would be different. If I had a chance to explain. If I hadn't let my jealousy get in the way.

Now I had one goal in mind that I hoped would be the grand gesture to make Charlotte see the true devotion I have for her and for my family.

At some point during the ride, I dozed off and didn't wake until we arrived back in Sanditon at dawn. Crowe hopped out of the carriage and quickly headed down the street.

"Crowe!" I yelled. He stopped and turned around. "Perhaps you should let her wake up before you bombard her with a proposal."

"Right!" he said walking back towards me.

"Why don't you come in and have breakfast with my family before you run off to engage yourself to a woman."

We walked into the house and saw Mary sitting in the front room. "Sidney, you're back already?" she asked standing from her chair and meeting us halfway.

"Mr. Crowe here has an agenda to attend to," I teased. "We've come to enjoy breakfast before his pursuit."

"Please, sit down. Breakfast will be served momentarily," Mary offered.

"Thank you, Mary."

"I wanted to talk to you, Sidney," Mary began. "I received a letter from Tom. He's on his way to India. He seems to think there's potential investors there."

He's such a fool, I thought. He's going to end up getting himself killed with all his bad business dealings. I couldn't handle it. "Did he say when he'd be back?"

"No, unfortunately. I would assume it'll be at least a few months. I do plan to write to him in hopes he will return as soon as possible. Knowing Tom, I doubt he will listen."

"Right," I said disappointed. "Well, let's all hope for the best in his endeavors."

We sat silently while waiting for breakfast to be served. I questioned if I should go after him and drag him back, but there was too much to be done here in Sanditon for me to leave now. If I didn't see Lady Denham soon, she was bound to send me to debtor's prison in Tom's absence.

Shortly after we arrived, Diana came down and joined us looking frail and tired. The children came bounding in just as breakfast was being put on the table. Everyone ate and chatted about their day. Henry sat on my lap while he devoured his plate of food. I barely touched my plate and passed it on to Henry when he finished off his own. He was a growing boy, after all. Arthur arrived just as everyone was finishing up and the children were being ushered off to the nursery.

"You just missed breakfast, Arthur," Diana said.

"Oh," he said disappointed while he stared at the empty dishes on the table. "Quite alright, I've already eaten."

"Will you escort me to Dr. Fuchs today? I have a splitting headache. I'll need to see if he has something to relieve the pain."

"Of course," he agreed with a smile.

"Before you leave," I began, pausing to make sure everyone was listening. "I need to discuss some business with all of you."

Everyone sat down and stared at me with concerned expressions. "Go on. What is it?" Mary pressured.

"I don't think this involves me. I'll take my leave. Thank you for breakfast, Mrs. Parker," Crowe said standing to his feet and grabbing his hat. I stood and gave him an encouraging pat on the back with a smile and a nod. He looked like he was about to vomit, but gave me a smile and walked out.

I sat back down and got comfortable.

"Is Mr. Crowe alright?" Mary asked.

"I suppose we will find out when we see him next. He's about to ask a woman to marry him," I answered with a smirked.

Everyone, including Arthur, gushed with excitement for him. "Who might he be asking?" Diana questioned.

"Miss Alison Heywood," I said nonchalantly. Their expressions turned to confusion.

"I wasn't aware they were acquainted," Mary said.

"They've met quite a few times. I admit, most of their interactions have not been on friendly terms, yet something happened between them to make Crowe think he has fallen in love with her," I explained.

"How exciting!" Arthur said. "Another wedding to attend before the winter months."

I gave him a questioning look which he clearly picked up on and shook his head indicating to only me that he had not done the same and asked a certain girl to marry him.

"Back to the business at hand," I began. "The situation has not changed. We need to pay Lady Denham the debt Tom incurred and soon. I've cleared out my bank account, acquired a bank loan, had papers written up stating she will now be the owner of my business, and that our London home will now be hers."

"Sidney!" Mary gasped.

"You can't!" Diana shouted. "Where will we live?"

"It's either the London home of Trafalgar House. We have no choice," I explained.

"I'm comfortable here," Arthur said. "I'll offer up my inheritance as well. I'll need to make some arrangements for my maid, but I'll leave my rented home and come stay here."

I patted him on the back. "Thank you, brother. For now, hold on to the inheritance. We may need it to start up a new business we can begin to profit from."

Mary looked sad, but ultimately agreed. "It is my husband's debt. I see we don't have much of a choice."

"Diana?" I urged.

"What would Lady Denham need with our home anyway?" she asked.

"It's property she would have ownership over," I explained. "She could rent it out or even sell it. It's worth quite a lot."

Diana gasped. "She would sell our childhood home? I can't bear it."

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Diana, we have no choice unless you want Tom and myself in debtor's prison. I promised to pay this debt on Tom's behalf so I too, will be thrown in prison."

"Or you could follow through with your promise and marry Mrs. Campion," she yelled.

"Or you could find some rich man you don't love and marry him," I shouted back.

"Sidney," Mary said in an attempt to calm me.

I sighed again and stood from my chair to pace the floor and clear my head. "I got us into this mess. If you don't all agree, I won't go through with it. But at this point, even with the house, the business, and all the money I've been able to acquire, it's still not enough. I'm hoping Lady Denham will work out some sort of agreement with me. I know one thing; I'd rather go to prison for a few years than be enslaved by Mrs. Campion for a lifetime. I'm asking all of you to understand the predicament I'm in and have some compassion for my situation."

"Of course, Sidney," Mary agreed.

Arthur nodded.

We all looked at Diana waiting breathlessly for her answer. She exhaled a breath rather dramatically. "I suppose I don't have a choice, now do I?"

I let out the breath I was holding and smiled. I reached across the table and took her hands in mine. "Thank you, Diana. Someday I will make it up to you. I promise."

For the rest of the day, I went over all the finances and dealings I had written up, so I was sure what all I had to offer Lady Denham. Arthur went to the building site to help Charlotte like he had been all week. He seemed to be really enjoying the work he was doing, even if it wasn't much. After Diana saw the doctor for something to ease her suffering, she and Mary took the children out for a stroll and a picnic since it was another nice day. When I felt like my plan was in place the best it could be, I headed out to Sanditon House. I knew Charlotte would be at the building site for the day, which made this much easier.

I rode up in front of Sanditon House and took a deep breath. I had to hope Lady Denham would be a reasonable woman.

I was ushered into the drawing room where I waited for Lady Denham for quite some time. When she finally emerged, she looked a little disheveled. I wondered if I had awoken her from an afternoon nap. Or maybe she was ill again.

"I was beginning to think you were avoiding me, Mr. Parker," she said.

I bowed in greeting and tightened my jaw. "To be frank, I was, Lady Denham."

"And why is that, Mr. Parker?"

I straightened my shoulders and took a deep breath while she strolled past me and sat down in a chair. "I have no way of paying the full debt Tom incurred."

She looked angry. "What do you mean you have no way to pay it?"

I dropped my eyes. "I'm asking you to understand my dilemma and perhaps have a little compassion."

"You haven't answered my question, Mr. Parker," she said irately. "I was assured your wife was the richest woman in London. Was that a lie?"

"I couldn't marry Mrs. Campion," I blurted. "I love another and couldn't go through with marrying someone else for money alone." I breathed a sigh of relief with getting out in the open.

She took a deep breath and let it out through her nose in an annoyed manner. "And what is your plan now; to let Tom go to debtor's prison?"

"Like I mentioned, I'm hoping you'll be understanding." I walked across the room to be closer to her and show her what I had written up. "I have emptied my bank account. I will need to pay the workers at the building site, but other than that, I'm giving it all to you. I've also had papers written up stating you will have full ownership of my London business as well as our family home in London. With everything, it comes to about thirty-five thousand pounds."

"That's not quite the amount owed," she reminded.

I dropped my head. "I know. My offer also includes me continuing to pay the debt in installments until it's paid in full. We can have something written up stating I will continue to pay whoever your heir is as well."

She looked at me questioningly. "Are you trying to kill me off like everyone else, Mr. Parker?"

"I'm just stating the obvious that paying off the debt may take many years."

"If you are handing over your business, how exactly do you plan to make money?" she wondered.

"I have investments in various companies. If money starts coming in from some of them, it'll all go to you. I've also become quite good in building a business. I can do again."

"And how exactly are you planning to fund a new business venture?"

"I have friends all over the world. I'm sure they would help me out," I explained.

"Yet none of them were willing to give you any money to pay off your debts," she stated.

My head dropped again. "No."

"And how do you plan to live?" she wondered.

"I'll live at Trafalgar House with Mary and Tom. I won't need much. I assure you, Lady Denham, I will pay the debt in full. I won't break a promise."

She snickered. "You've already broken plenty of promises. You promised to pay the debt in full. You also promised to marry a certain wealthy woman and apparently broke that engagement off. I believe you broke promises to another young lady as well. How am I to believe you won't break this promise?"

"It's in writing. If I don't follow through, you'll have every right to throw me in debtor's prison," I explained.

"I have every right to throw you in debtor's prison now; including Tom," she yelled.

I sighed and dropped my head again. "I'm asking you to give me a chance," I pleaded.

She sighed heavily and studied me for a moment. "I'll have to look all of this over and give you my decision in a couple days."

I let out a sigh of relief. At least she was willing to consider it. "Thank you, Lady Denham."

She hummed a response and shooed me away with her hand while she looked over the documents I presented her with. This had to work.