My One In A Million
Chapter Thirteen:
He smelled the mandarin before he heard the soft hum of a tune he didn't recognize, and then light pierced into his eyes like tiny needles. His heart stopped beating for an instance when his blurry eyes caught sight of his mother's back.
Her hair was slightly longer than he remembered, but she was the same height and weight. When she turned to look at him he noticed she'd gotten a different cut to her bangs… And her black eyes were shut or… Maybe her eyes were not black anymore…
Wait…
His mother was dead.
Uchiha Sasuke shifted in his bed and rubbed his eyes vigorously to clear away the fog. One of his eyes was covered so he left it alone, but the other simply refused to clear up.
"G- Good morning." Hinata said softly, as if afraid to wake someone up. "How do you feel?"
"How do I look like I feel?" He huffed and flung the covers off his legs to head to the bathroom, wash his face and mouth, and then stub his toe on the doorframe while walking out. The light disappeared and he found himself in darkness again, but this time he didn't feel completely hopeless because he knew the layout of the room, and because he was sure of his slow but eventual recovery.
His ears tingled at the realization that he had been childish last night; that he'd shown this girl something embarrassing, something she'll never let him live down.
If Naruto came to the village today and asked her what he'd missed, the blonde will never let him live it down.
Hell, she didn't need to tell anyone, just knowing that she'd seen him at such a pathetic state was humiliating in itself…
How hard is it to alter someone's memories, really?
Sasuke hopped onto the bed and leaned back against the pillows –they were startlingly fluffy- and accepted the touch of a cold hand that pressed a warm cup of tea into his palm. The first sip went down with a bitter aftertaste, but the more he drank the better his stomach felt.
It didn't help with the sudden outbreak of cold sweat…
After a quiet moment, it became too much for the anxious one, so he casually asked: "How's your sister?" It was the better alternative to: let's casually not acknowledge that I bawled like a baby yesterday.
The smell or mandarin tickled his nose again, the sound of a peel landing in the waste bin was confirmation that the woman was undisturbed by the question and maybe, perhaps, she wasn't thinking about his breakdown yesterday. "She's great." Hinata sounded genuinely happy. "She ate some rice today, that's progress, right?"
"Mm…" He remembered the first time he ate rice after waking up; he had to throw up three times. "You're here early."
"It's the weekend."
"Hn…" He really needed to get back on track with training and stuff… Strangely, he didn't feel like it was that important to be the strongest, not anymore. His shoulders slacked when the conversation drifted to silence and she didn't ask him about last night, or even emit any curious chakra.
"I'm- I'm sorry."
His throat constricted, here it comes.
She sighed quietly. "I- I just… I was thinking um about something, it's about work, I d- didn't mean to stop talking."
Oh… Her over-politeness was to the point of confusion. "What about work?"
For some reason it was a relief to know that she wasn't going to remind him about last night, even if a part of him wanted her to, just so that he can find out what she really thought of him.
"W- Well… Iruka sensei asked me if I wanted to be a regular. I'm just a temporary, you see, and um I don't know…"
He didn't know much about being a teacher, but wasn't having regular income better than irregular income? "What did you tell him?"
"N- Nothing yet, I needed to think about it." She watched him finish his tea and put away the cup. "I'm not sure if I can be a good teacher."
Her voice was so small he might have not understood everything hadn't he been so dependent on his ears. "They wouldn't have asked you if they didn't think you'd be."
She went silent.
Did he offend her?
It felt a little strange to realize that no, he probably complimented her. It was the usual scenario, wasn't it; an employer wouldn't hire a temp unless they thought they were up for the task. Even in the shinobi business the teams who establish not only their synchronized teamwork abilities, but also their individual prowess, could become a chuunin.
Because later on they will have to go through individual missions, and only someone who was self confident without the support of his team could get things done.
Of course, he was never a Chuunin, not officially. He'd zoomed through the ranks under the guidance of the world's strongest shinobi and surpassed them. He doubted this village had a fitting title for someone of his current level.
Well, not right now; but once he was back in shape, he would ask Naruto for suggestions.
Fighting a slight smile, he asked. "When is Naruto coming back? Do you know?" He was starting to recover the inspiration to work out, and the boy was the only worthy companion and sparring partner.
The peeling stopped as she thought. "N- No, um…Well… I'm not sure, a- and if I'm not sure I'm not supposed to say it to anyone…" She noticed the line that appeared between his brows, "B- But you are his friend, s- so I guess it's okay as long as you don't tell someone else, okay?"
"I don't have anyone to tell." He rolled his eyes. "What is it?"
"A- At first I thought Naruto kun was away for training, Sakura chan said so, too. Then a few days ago I heard from Neji-nii that the situation in the Rain was so bad that Naruto-kun had to go there himself. Neji-nii and Lee san even had to gather teams and travel to assist him. A-Akatsuki members used to lead it, right? I'm sure it was left in chaos after the war…"
So Naruto was off doing great things, saving countries and being a hero; while he had to sit here in a hospital bed and drink herbal tea.
Suddenly the competitive side of him stirred and he found himself wondering why he wasn't already in rehab, training his bad ankle back into shape and working out the extra pounds he was putting on in the form of rice pudding. "When can I start rehab?"
The abrupt change of topic startled her. "Um… I'll ask Sakura chan if you like." At his nod she smiled and offered him a plate of peeled mandarin. "Would you like some?"
"Hn, I guess." He'd been impatiently waiting for her to give him those, how dare she even ask him if he wanted or not?
"Oh, a- also, the nurse left this on the nightstand while you were asleep. It's your release papers; I think you can leave the hospital when you sign them, if you want."
"They must have seen my previous room." She giggled. He nipped his thumb and let her press it in the right spot, then popped a lobe into his mouth. "Have you ever broken into someone's house before?"
"E- Eh? N- No! Why would I do that?"
Strange, he thought Hyuuga family members would make great burglars. "I don't remember where I left the keys to my apartment, and I need clothes to leave the hospital."
She put two and two together. "O- Oh… W- well I guess it's okay since you are giving me permission, it's not really breaking in… B- But um m- maybe you can ask someone else, l- like Kiba kun he's good at finding things a- and m- maybe-"
"No. Just you." His brows crashed down; the last thing he wanted was that insufferable guy poking around his apartment. "I wouldn't have asked if I had anything better to wear."
"I- I understand…" She nervously chewed on a lobe of mandarin and then asked. "S- So where exactly is it?"
Sasuke sipped some water before resting back against the pillows. "The old building just under the Hokage mountain; you know, the one with red tiles and a bunch of homeless people."
"Oh…? Ooooh! Umm… S- Sasuke kun I'm sorry but… That building went down two months ago!" her voice shrunk, as if it was her fault. "During the attack of the sound, a lot of explosives went off there and the buildings around it- They took it down because it was dangerous, I'm sorry!"
"I get it." Almost immediately, his mind preceded to bullet the assets he had left. A few small cottages in the country side, the whole Uchiha district, the sum of money that was his inheritance of the clan separated in different deposits around the different hidden villages. There were scrolls for a few items of property in that apartment, hidden in a crack in the wall, but he would only need them if he wanted to sell them … Some of the more important contracts were copied in his mind with the sharingan, he could recreate it on any piece of parchment if he had to.
For now he was financially safe.
Save for the fact that he didn't have a place to stay or a shirt on his back…
Damn, he'd usually turn to Naruto in these situations, the boy would never say no if his frog pouch was having a good day; but he wasn't here right now… It was unlikely, but he had a feeling that if he tried to crash at Naruto's place anyway, he'd end up encountering Sakura. He didn't want to deal with her unless it was absolutely necessary.
Hinata picked the plate up from the side of the bed and went to wash it in the sink.
It was nice having her around; she knew when to leave him to his devices if he didn't care to continue a conversation, and she fed him nice things.
A part of him wanted to be pampered, to just sit back and let someone else do all the thinking and working so he can just eat, sleep and do the things he enjoyed doing.
Hmm, he wouldn't normally think of Hyuuga Hinata when he was considering options out of a sticky situation, and it wasn't like he was completely desperate. That started to change after last night, he felt like it was necessary to test her and see how far she would go for him before eventually giving up or stabbing him in the back.
He didn't accept her as an ally or friend, not yet.
Maybe not ever; he'd never met a human who belonged to the female class of the population who was even remotely reliable.
Testing her made for good entertainment, he could always poke her from different angles and watch her squirm: weak body, too polite, not enough chakra, bad vocal control, useless without the eyes, not intimidating enough, submissive to her clan.
It was almost amusing how many things he could use to get under her skin, usually girls would lay out their deepest secrets from the get go which made it boring but this girl actually had layers.
"Well it looks like I don't have anywhere to stay when I leave here." He said when she came back, the sugar from the fruit must have started to circulate in his system because he could see shifting colors in front of his exposed eye. "You think I can crash at your place?"
To his surprise she wasn't even startled. "Okay, I guess." At his obvious confusion, she explained with a quieter tone of voice. "Hanabi left the hospital yesterday to recover at home, my father suggested I move back in to be with her until she got back on her feet. It was a temporary apartment anyway so… Y- You can have it if you want, furniture and all."
That was almost too easy. "And you do whatever your father tells you to do?"
Now she was flustered. "N- No! I mean- He's not wrong, most of the time… I trust his opinion so…"
"What if he tells you to jump off a cliff." At her silence he smirked. "What if he tells you to marry someone you don't want to marry? What if he tells you to quit your job?"
In a very very small voice, she said, "He did…"
Sasuke couldn't decide if she was addressing the marriage proposal or quitting her job, and was startled at himself for being aggravated with both possibilities. "He told you to quit your job?" Or…?
"W- Well, I never really needed it, a- and I was temporary anyway so… When I asked my father about being a regular he said he thought I'm better than just a teacher… I'm not really" She stopped to find the right word. "I'm not- I don't know if I'll make a good one b- because I'm so… Well… How could I… Sorry, I- I know you don't want to hear this."
"Are you just inventing excuses? It's simple, really." He shifted uncomfortably, anger that was not directed at anyone in particular churned in his stomach. "I remember a time when my father's opinion meant the world to me; turned out his opinions were the reason the Uchiha were massacred. Nobody should tell you how to live your life but yourself, princess, stop blaming others for your own choices."
She was quiet, allowing the words to sink it, he mistook it for defiance and hastily added, "Or whatever you want to do, I don't really care. I don't even know why I'm lecturing you to not listen to other people's lectures." He shut his mouth with a click, then chose his words carefully the next time he opened it. "Ever since I got my chakra back, I've not been myself, so…"
"Moody?"
"Yes." He hissed, glad that he didn't have to explain further.
"Hanabi is moody, too. It- it gets better if you let it run it's course."
The kindness in her voice got on his nerves. "Don't you have other things to do? Other people to annoy?"
"O- of course. Um, I'll go now… S- See you later, okay? Um, I'll be back in the afternoon to take you to- to the apartment. You're still going, right?" He shrugged. "I'll be moved out by tonight, the landowner will be visiting tomorrow for the rent, I'll- I'll talk to him then."
"So after all of that, you're still just doing what your father orders."
"They're not orders…"
"Whatever you say."
Hinata gently slid the door shut behind her, quietly and without further discussion.
He huffed and tried to replay the conversation in his mind in an attempt to pinpoint exactly when it started to go downhill.
X x x x x
His eyes were still refusing to work properly so he had to trust his nose when it was afternoon and his door slid open to the scent of wet grass and dogs.
"Inuzuka?" His nose itched.
"E- Eh? N- No it's just me." Hinata leaned her umbrella by the door and walked in to tentatively place a shopping bag by his side on the bed; anxiety was practically radiating out of her. "I- I brought you some clothes…"
"Is he with you? I can smell him…" It sounded like something the Inuzuka himself would say, he didn't care; he hated the scent.
"W- Well he helped me buy them since I- I- w- well they were in the men's section…"
He could just picture her, cowering outside and watching her friend's every move through the shop's window because she didn't want to get too close to the male underwear displays.
"Oh, your arm!" she touched his left arm which was now wrapped in a thin layer of gauze instead of the thick cast he'd had this morning. "Is it all healed now?"
"Yeah, the doctor said it was healing nicely." He conveniently left out the part where he threatened the doctor to keep him from ordering another plaster.
"So… A- Are you ready to leave the hospital now?" Hinata was smiling while she extracted the garments from the bags, but something about the strain in her voice gave her away.
She'd been nothing but helpful to him all day and he'd done nothing but put her down.
"Yeah." He didn't need to stay any longer, his arm didn't hurt as long as he didn't bang it against the side of the bed, and his only shortage was in eyesight. "I bet he bought hideous things just to spite me."
Hinata sighed –or chuckled really quietly- and pulled out a jacket for him to feel. "Kiba kun is a kind person, he likes teasing others but he's really… Well he's grateful to you, he understands how you saved Hanabi's life, she's like a sister to him."
"I don't want to hear it." He let her place the thick fabric in his hand and rubbed it between his fingers. "Was it raining outside?"
"Y- Yes, a little…"
"It's wet." There were drops of water on the seemingly waterproof fabric.
"Sorry…"
He could tell the girl was already regretting doing him this favor. Well he wasn't amused that the Inuzuka was in on his business, she shouldn't have involved others… But then again, he had two options right now: either get his eyesight back in the next five minutes, or magically find his way to his apartment complex amongst a whole village of new buildings.
He needed this girl to be on his side for now.
It was the same mindset he'd had last week, but thinking of using her so openly now made him stop and reflect on how twisted he'd become.
Now that all his memories and emotions were intact, he still had a bit of pride and chivalry alive and kicking somewhere deep down.
It took a good amount of mental preparation, but he finally choked out his gratitude. "Thanks."
"O- Oh no problem." She sounded glad and maybe a bit surprised, but didn't push her luck.
Hinata only stuck around long enough for him to start undoing the knot on the side of his gown, and announced that she was going to wait outside in the hallway for some fresh air.
The soft clothes were soothing on his skin, fit nicely and were easy to wear for someone with an injured wrist; they smelled like dog, though, he couldn't wait to take them off.
He had to have her hold his arm on their way out and into the streets, but before they left the building she asked him to allow her something.
"The nights are getting a little cold." She said quietly while wrapping the scarf around his neck more securely, the scent of sunshine and antiseptic wafted into his nose. "I've read that being cold isn't good for recovery. P- please take care not to get too cold."
"I don't like the heat." He hated stuffy, tight and restricting clothes or the searing heat of summer; he was quite alright with cold but didn't try to prolong the exchange by pointing that out.
In the streets, people around them went silent whenever they passed. Seeing the village's unwelcome guest being so friendly -scandalous even!- with the Hyuuga princess, was big news.
Let them talk, at least maybe the buzz of his recovery would rub it in the noses of the council that they couldn't snuff him out this time.
He leaned slightly to tell her in a voice only she could hear. "See, if you'd said yes, holding my hand wouldn't have been so awkward."
She must have been blushing beet red, because it took her a moment to come up with a reply. "I know y- you never meant to, s- so please…"
"Says who?" He was absolutely sure he hadn't told her about recovering his memories of that day.
She waited until they rounded a corner into a smaller street, the sound of the river and trees replaced the buzz of people and children, he had to sit down to catch his breath. "W- When I went back to my father's house that day you gave it to me, it fell out of my pocket when I took off my blazer. Our housekeeper saw it." She waited until he nodded his understanding, more worried about the redness in his face from the short trip than his possible reaction. "S- She said it was her wedding ring from forty years ago, it slipped often because she lost weight, she said that she lost it last winter."
He huffed. "It fell in the snow…"
"Yes. I've kept it with me all that time not knowing, if I had just shown it to her then, maybe…"
If she did, she wouldn't have thought he was asking for her hand and wouldn't have bothered to keep him company at the hospital. Actually, he would be dead because she'd have no reason to keep him alive. "So all this time you knew and pretended that you didn't." He could hear nothing but branches scraping against each other and jingles of merchants on the other side of the river. "Why?"
"B- Because we're friends…?"
"Don't mistake friendship with pity." He snapped, "Would you have invited me to your place if you weren't moving out anyway? Would you take me, someone who couldn't see, to a blossom viewing party with your other friends? Forget that, would you even accept me as a team member on an A-Class mission?" He unclenched his teeth. "Excuses aren't reasons, princess. You can keep what happened yesterday to yourself but I know you consider me a failure. I don't know if you get kicks out of the hopeless cases or if you're just raised that way, after all, you clung around Naruto when he was a nobody; I've known all this time that I never liked you and kept it to myself because you made it easy for me to use you. It's not you having pity on me, princess, it's me using you when I could have had anyone else."
She let that sink in for a moment before slowly telling him, "I don't understand what you're asking me…"
"Hmph, nothing. Just finish your job and get me there." Sasuke sat up and reached out for her. For a moment his hand hung in the air without being accepted, it filled him with contempt even if she took his arm only moments later. It was dangerous to be dependent on someone else; any minute she can decide not to take his hand.
Physically and metaphorically.
Well it was his fault; he'd learned long ago that friendship to some people only extended to shopping and eating mandarins but put them on the grill once and they back off. When push comes to shove, only Naruto really accepts him for who he really is, no matter the words that came out of his mouth.
She took him to an apartment complex that smelled like clean rugs and buzzed with overhead lights. He sat on a couch and listened to her shuffle around, collecting the few things that needed packing, heat stirred in his gut but he bit down and willed his demons to shut the hell up.
It felt like this was farewell, he wasn't interested in sentimentalities especially to someone who never bothered to answer his preposterous accusations. It only proved he was right, didn't it?
They lived in the same city anyway, they hung around the same group of people and befriended the same boy; they will eventually meet again.
Despite him being a hundred percent sure of that, it felt like words were trying to leave his mouth, his brain had no idea what those words were but his lungs kept sucking in air to spit them out.
Thank you, he wanted to say, but he'd used her intentionally and shoved it in her face.
I'm sorry. Haha nope. He regretted none of it.
See you later…?
Take care?
The words that spilled out were a mile away from what he intended. "I'll pay you for the furniture when I visit the finance office tomorrow."
"It's okay." The words hung in the air uncertainly; was she telling him that she would accept his money, or that he shouldn't worry about it and thus not approach her again? "Goodbye, Sasuke san."
The stretch of time between her words and the click of the shutting door should have been long enough for him to formulate a response, but his pride stuck like a poisoned shuriken in the back of his throat; refusing to let through any words of gratitude or farewell.
You'll see her again, it told him, don't rush into submission because you'll regret it later. It could only get better from now on.
That's right, he could only be his strong, confident self when he was absolutely alone, no bonds pulling him down.
But damn, it was hard to accept it when everything he had within arm's reach was her gift to him, no strings attached.