WARNING: Once again, there is sexual content in this chapter. It's towards the end and I've added this symbol **~** right before incase anyone doesn't wish to read it.
I hope everyone enjoys this wedding and wedding night. It's a super long chapter. I had fun writing this.
~Charlotte~
When we arrived back at Sanditon House, after the long trip from Willingden, Georgiana went straight up to her room to go to bed. I stayed outside with Heraclitus and Sidney lingered behind walking in the moonlight with me. He reached for my hand and in the darkness pulled me close and kissed me passionately and urgently. Our bodies swayed back and forth as our mouths discovered what they had been missing the last few days being apart. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me while I stood on my tiptoes to reach him further. When he stopped kissing me, he let out a long sigh and rested his forehead against mine.
I kept thinking about if he hadn't come back and still been on his way to Antigua. Could we have gone two years not seeing each other? I truly didn't think so anymore.
"If we ever run into Mrs. Campion again, remind me to thank her for boarding that ship with you," I said.
Sidney laughed and lifted his head from my forehead so he could look directly at my face. "I suppose I have much to be thankful for in that one decision she made. I don't know if I'd go as far as thanking her though. I am glad I had the good sense to jump off the ship. Perhaps someday I'll be able to get my trunk with much of my clothing back. Thankfully there was nothing too important in there."
"I don't wish to ever be parted from you again," I said sincerely.
"We won't have to after a fortnight," he assured.
"What do you suppose my sister and Crowe are doing right now?" I wondered.
Sidney looked down like he was embarrassed by my question. "I'm sure they are enjoying themselves. I'm quite jealous, to be honest. I wish it was us who got married today and it was us who were sharing a bed tonight. I'm finding it hard to restrain myself when I'm with you."
"It'll be here before we know it. We will survive," I assured.
He groaned and pushed his forehead against mine with a bit of force. "I know you want to wait, but it's excruciating for me."
"How so?" I wondered completely unfamiliar with these matters.
"My entire body craves your touch, your kisses, your breath against my skin. I'm dying to be alone with you and make you mine," he said through gritted teeth.
I leaned up and kissed him, letting my lips linger against his. "It won't be long."
He sighed again. "The longest two weeks of my life, I'm sure."
"Where are you taking me for our honeymoon?" I asked. He had been so secretive about where he was taking me only asking rather bizarre questions like if I would need someone to help dress and undress me or if I knew how to cook and if I wanted to go to a big city like London or if I'd rather go somewhere more quiet and secluded? Of course, I chose somewhere secluded. It seemed as if everywhere we went there was someone standing nearby, whether it was a family member, a member of the house staff, or even just a stranger on the street. We were surrounded at all times. This moment we had outside in the dark was a rare moment that never happened. Even though I was freezing, and I was sure he was too, we still didn't move to go inside where we would once again be surrounded.
"Somewhere special," he answered vaguely.
I sighed. "I wish you would at least give me a hint so I know what I should pack."
He chuckled. "I don't think you'll need to pack much. I highly doubt we will leave the bed much."
"Sidney!" I reproached.
He laughed more and pulled me to him again. "I'm only giving you the hint you asked for."
I looked up at him, letting our bodies sway back and forth. "No theatre or social events?"
"Not unless you wish to attend one."
"Not particularly. But if you had something in mind, I'd be happy to attend. I just need to know whether to pack for such an event."
He sighed as if he was contemplating telling me. "It's truly not as extravagant as you may think it is. On reflection, you may not even enjoy where we are going. However, it's someplace quiet and secluded like you wished it to be."
"I'll be happy with wherever we are going as long as I'm with you." He smiled and kissed me again.
Heraclitus barked in the distance and I called for him to come back. Within a few minutes, he was at my feet, showing me what a good dog he was for coming when told. Sidney took my hand and walked me back towards the house with Heraclitus following behind us.
I let out a deep sigh as we entered the house and looked around.
"Something the matter?" Sidney wondered.
"Sometimes I hate coming into this house. I feel as if Lady Denham should be meeting me with some sort of contempt for my behavior and when she isn't, I suddenly feel guilty. I wasn't very kind to her those last few days leading up to her death. I blatantly told her she didn't make me feel welcome and got mad at her repeatedly for trying to tell me not to marry you and to choose someone else. I wish there was a way I could go back and apologize for my behavior."
"I honestly don't think she thought much of it. On the contrary, I believe she enjoyed the arguing and the fight you had for what you believed in. Like she said, she hopes she taught you how to be a strong pillar in this community. She fought with you so she could teach you how to handle difficult situations as well as difficult people like her. To stand up for what you believe and not back down to anyone. Not even Lady Denham."
"I suppose you're right. I hope with time, I'll stop expecting to see her when I walk in."
"I did want to talk to you about something," he began looking more serious and even a little pained. "We don't have to talk about it tonight if you're too tired. I can come back tomorrow."
I smirked. "Even if you tell me whatever it is you wish to talk about, you will still find some excuse to come tomorrow."
He stepped forward and took my hands in his with a grin on his face. "I suppose you're right. I will need to check on Georgiana, after all."
"Of course, you will," I agreed playfully.
I giggled before looking at him expectantly. His face turned serious again. His forehead wrinkled as if he was afraid to tell me whatever it was he wanted to talk about.
"I'm afraid I may need to ultimately make that trip to Antigua after all," he admitted. "The fortune Lady Denham left you is not enough long term to substantially support this town, this house, as well as our own future. Your father got me thinking about what I'm contributing to this marriage and even though I do bring a good amount from my London business and a few other minor investments, I fear we will eventually run out and this town will falter. I still have the acquaintance in Antigua who is eagerly awaiting my arrival. I can go and try to make more money."
"After we are married, of course," I said.
"Of course," he agreed.
"Then I can go with you, if we are married."
"Charlotte, someone would need to stay here to care for Sanditon," he argued.
"I'll put someone in charge in my absence. I don't plan to be separated from you for more than a couple days at a time. You are my home. Wherever you are is where I will be."
"And who will watch over Georgiana and even Heraclitus while we are away?" he argued. "There's so much planned for the theatre next summer. You will need to be here. I won't leave right away. I can wait a few months so we can have some time as a married couple."
"Georgiana and Heraclitus will be just fine without us. And if you're so worried about them, they can come with us. Everything happening here can be overseen by people we trust. Every argument you have of why I shouldn't go with you, will be proven futile. You won't win this argument, Sidney!"
He smirked at my comment and nodded his head. "I suppose I won't win a lot of arguments with you."
"We could have our honeymoon there. It might be a rather long honeymoon, nevertheless, an exciting adventure."
Sidney shook his head. "No. I'm taking you somewhere else with more meaning. Somewhere special."
"But you won't tell me where?"
"No," he laughed.
"Well then. I suppose I'll have to wait to be surprised."
I walked a few feet away to take off my pelisse and Sidney noticed for the first time the portraits on the wall behind him. "Charlotte, what have you done?" He stared up at the wall in disbelief.
I joined him and looked at what he was looking at feeling rather pleased. High up on the wall were three portraits, one of Lady Denham and the other two of her two husbands. Below those was the portrait of Sidney that Mary had given me. I had asked the staff to put them up while I was gone. I think they did an excellent job and exactly how I wanted them.
"Do you not like it?" I wondered.
"You have that awful painting of me on the wall for all to see when they walk in."
"I know you don't care for the painting and it doesn't look a thing like you, but I enjoy looking at it and think it only fitting, as the lady of the house now, it be on the wall with Lady Denham's husbands."
"The first thing we do when we are married is commission a painter to come paint a portrait of both of us to replace that painting," he demanded.
"If that's what you want, I suppose I could agree. But the painting stays regardless."
"I would rather you return it to Trafalgar House, so I don't have to see it as often."
"It stays," I demanded. I looked at him determinedly. Hadn't we just discussed how he wasn't going to win many arguments?
He sighed and shook his head. "For now."
He kissed me goodnight and left for the night. I knew he'd be back bright and early the next morning like he normally was. We would discuss this potential trip to Antigua and figure out when it would be essential to leave if we decided to go at all.
All through the night, I wondered about my sister. I wondered if she was happy. I wondered if Mr. Crowe was taking care of her and being gentle with her. I almost wished I had stayed an extra night in Willingden, so I could ask her all about her first night as a married woman before she left for London. Beyond that, I imagined what it must be like to wake up to the man you love every morning. I sighed dreamily thinking about it. In just two weeks I'd be waking up with Sidney next to me. I could barely endure the anticipation.
An uneventful week went by while we waited the return of Alison and Mr. Crowe as well as the arrival of my family. Everything was entirely overwhelming. In a week's time Sidney and I would be married. Announcements had gone out, bannes had been read, arrangements had all been made, my dress fitting was the morning of my family's arrival, which I was grateful for. It gave me something to keep me occupied while I waited. Georgiana accompanied me to my fitting and was in awe of the dress I had created with the seamstress. The same lace that overlaid Alison's dress also overlaid mine. Under the lace was a beautiful light blue satin with a blue ribbon across the front.
"Charlotte, it's beautiful!" Georgiana gushed.
"You don't find it too extravagant?" I asked.
"Not at all. Besides, it's your wedding day. You have every right to be extravagant."
"I feel a bit guilty for spending money on a dress when there are so many other things in Sanditon that need our attention."
Georgiana rolled her eyes. "You are being ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with spoiling yourself once in a while, especially when getting married."
"I suppose you're right," I agreed, looking down and swooshing the skirt around. I loved how comfortable and flowy the dress was.
"Do you have everything else ready?" I asked the seamstress.
"I do, miss. I've had all my best people working on your requests. Everything will be ready, and we will bring it all to Sanditon House tomorrow morning."
"Wonderful."
"What are you up to, Charlotte?" Georgiana asked curiously.
"I had a new outfit made for each of my family members. Most of them have never had something new. I want this trip to be extra special for them."
"I thought you said extravagance made you feel guilty?" she teased.
"This is for my family, not for me. Sidney and I discussed it and he was in agreement. My father is going to think it unnecessary and my mother will think I'm spoiling my siblings, but I don't care. It's only this one time."
Georgiana grinned and shook her head at how I rationalized the purchase. I knew it was extravagant, and my parents would disapprove, but I didn't care. I was too excited to have them all here in Sanditon for such a special event, that I had to spoil them just a little.
"Now," I began, sitting down next to Georgiana. I took her hands in mine and looked at her excitedly. "What is my bridesmaid planning to wear?"
"Your bridesmaid?" she asked hesitantly.
I nodded my head and grinned. "Yes. I'd like you to be my bridesmaid, Georgiana."
She giggled and hugged me tightly. "Are you sure?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I want you to be my bridesmaid? You're my best friend. Will you stand up with me?"
"Absolutely. I'd be honored." There was no one else I'd want to stand next to me while I married Sidney. Georgiana was a huge part of our lives and our story. She was our family.
Later in the day, I stood in front of Sanditon House awaiting the arrival of my family. I had received a letter from Alison a few days prior informing me Mr. Crowe had sold his father's home, so they needed to stay in London a few days longer to finalize the sale with the bank. I was disappointed she wouldn't be here when our family arrived, but I had Georgiana here with me as well as Sidney, who stood proudly next to me.
When we saw the carriages coming up the road, butterflies hit my stomach. Heraclitus began barking at the commotion. I could hear my younger siblings squealing and shouting from the carriages. Some of them hung their heads out of the windows as they got near. I waved excitedly as they pulled in front of the house.
Doors pushed open and kids rushed out of the carriages towards me. "Charlotte!" they all shouted. I was bombarded with hugs and screams of excitement. My mother, looking apprehensive, stepped out of the carriage and looked up at the house with amazement. My father joined her side and shared her same expression.
"Come inside, children. We have refreshments set up in the drawing room," Georgiana instructed. All of them went rushing inside while staff began to unload trunks and bags from the carriages to bring inside.
"This is all yours?" my father questioned. I smiled and nodded my head.
"I knew from your letters and our conversations that it was a rather large house, but this is beyond anything I could have imagined," my mother said.
"It might look big, but it doesn't feel quite as big once you're inside," Sidney added.
"Mr. Parker, nice to see you again," my father said extending his hand towards Sidney and looking him up and down. They shook hands politely. "I wasn't aware you would be here."
Sidney grinned, knowing what my father was truly asking. "I only came to visit for your arrival."
"I see."
"If you wish me to leave, I will," he offered.
My mother cut in. "Nonsense. You're part of the family now. Of course, you would want to be here for our arrival." I smiled at my mother, silently thanking her for her approval. If they only knew just how much Sidney was actually at the house, they would probably disapprove. But at least in just a few more days, they wouldn't have anything to say.
"Where is your sister?" my father asked. "Wasn't she to return by now?"
"I received a letter from her. Mr. Crowe sold his father's home, so they are delayed a few days while they finalize the sell. She assured me they would be back for the wedding."
We heard shouting from inside the house. We all rushed inside to see what was happening. My siblings were running around the house while Georgiana and a few servants did their best to wrangle them. Mother and father attempted to calm them, but that many children confined to a carriage for so many hours and now putting them in a large house with lots of room to run around had caused them to be overwhelmingly hyperactive.
Sidney whistled really loud and stopped almost all of them in their tracks. Even the dog stood at attention, who was very familiar with Sidney's whistle. "Who wants to go with me to give Heraclitus a walk?" he asked. Nearly all of my siblings jumped up and down with excitement and begging voices. Sidney whistled again. "Ask your mother and father for permission first?"
The begging voices turned to them, which were met with nods of approval. Georgiana offered to go also since many of my siblings adored her already. I laughed as Sidney left the house with a gaggle of children following behind him. He scooped up little Rachel and carried her on his shoulder. Thankfully Sidney was familiar with children and knew after such a long trip what the children needed more than anything was a place to run around freely and get some energy out of their system. Growing up, that was always mine and Alison's job while my mother took care of the house and the chores.
"This is a beautiful home," my mother said, taking it all in. "Lady Denham must have been one wealthy woman."
"Yes, she was. Although, she put most of her fortune into developing Sanditon. Sidney and I will need to figure out what to do next for the town to continue to prosper."
One of the servants brought in a pot of tea and offered a cup to both of my parents. They sat down and continued to look around the house in amazement while sipping on their tea.
"He does know how to manage children, right?" my mother asked.
I laughed. "Of course, he does. He has four nieces and nephews he spends a lot of time with."
"Four is not nearly as many as there are out there. I worry about them getting too close to the water," my mother said.
"I'm quite certain Mr. Parker knows how to manage our children. Remember how he played with them at Alison's wedding?" my father reminded. My mother smiled and nodded her head.
"He won't take them down by the water. We have your visit all planned out here. Tomorrow morning after breakfast, I have a special surprise for everyone, after that we will go down to the beach, then in the evening we have invited Sidney's family for dinner. The following day, I plan to take all of you into town to see what I've been working on these last few months. I'll show you the gazebo Sidney had built down by the river, weather permitting, we may have a picnic at the gazebo, and afterwards I have invited Mr. Hankins and Mrs. Griffiths, whom are to be married come spring to come for dinner. Mr. Hankins will be performing the wedding."
"And what after that?" my father asked.
"We will have plenty to keep everyone occupied. I know it's cold outside, but the town and the sea are beautiful this time of year. I believe Sidney has some business adventures he'd like to discuss with you, father."
"What can I do to help? Show me to the kitchen and I can begin to fix dinner at least," my mother offered.
I smiled. "You don't need to do anything but relax. We have staff who take care of the cooking. They have been looking forward to your arrival and have been cooking up all kinds of things. I even gave them a few of your recipes so they can make up some of our favorites from home."
"Seems strange to have someone waiting on you and taking care of the house," she thought.
"It's taken some getting used to, but all the staff are very kind and I consider most of them friends rather than just servants. They truly take care of us because they want to."
"I have a feeling some of your siblings may never want to leave after visiting here," my father added, causing me to laugh. I knew it was quite possible. I hoped my parents would at least agree to visit often.
"Where are George and Jane?" I asked, realizing they didn't arrive with the family.
"They will be here in a few days. George didn't want to leave his farm for so long. He's attending to our animals in our absence and will have Jane's family look after ours and their farms while we are here," my father explained.
"How are you feeling, my dear?" my mother asked. "Are you nervous? Alison was very nervous leading up to her wedding. Are you feeling the same?"
"Not particularly. I am more excited than anything. Sidney and I have wanted this for so long and after so much standing in our way, we are both ready to make it official," I said, taking a sip of my tea.
"How is Mr. Parker feeling?" my father asked.
"I believe he feels the same way. When we got back after Alison's wedding, he kept saying he wished it was us who married that day."
"Perhaps we should check on him and the children," mother suggested. We stood and walked out of the house and out towards the trees. Sidney and Georgiana had them playing games and running around in the grass. My mother and father laughed seeing them having fun.
My mother took my hand and squeezed it. She looked at me with a loving expression. "He's going to be a wonderful father."
I watched Sidney with pride, knowing she was entirely correct in her observation. More than anything, I wanted to be a mother like my own.
~Sidney~
As much as I wanted to spend time with Charlotte's parents, I felt more comfortable being outside with her siblings. We played some great games and got a bunch of built up energy out of our systems. Even Georgiana joined in with some of the games.
"I remember you playing some of these games with me in my younger years," Georgiana said as she joined me while we watched the children run freely around the yard.
"Do you?"
"You were always so kind to me when I was little. Then you took me away," she reminded.
"I didn't take you away. Your father asked me to accompany you," I corrected. "I had no idea what was going to happen. If I did, I wouldn't have let him stay."
"He seemed to know it was going to happen. Otherwise he wouldn't have sent his Will to you."
"Yes. I do believe he knew it was going to happen, or at least knew something was going to happen. I question everyday why I didn't see it coming myself. Why didn't he tell me? What signs did I miss? What could I have done to prevent what happened or change the outcome?" I sighed, contemplating whether or not to continue. "I know I've made a lot of mistakes; in my own life and even in yours. I'm not perfect, even though I'd like to think I am. One thing your father taught me was even though we are raised to believe something is right, doesn't always mean it is. Sometimes we may never see how wrong we are, but if we do see we were wrong in our actions, we change it. I can't change the past, but I can rewrite the future. Your father and I both gave up the sugar trade, freed our slaves and tried to do better. I'm still trying to do better with you. I realize I'm not the right man to be your guardian and I still have absolutely no idea why your father left the responsibility to me. I've failed and made plenty of mistakes with you. All I can do is continue to try my best to make amends by striving to do better. I hope in the last months I have done that for you."
She had tears in her eyes as I told her my truth but had an angry expression. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I've tried many times, but it was difficult for me to admit that I failed. I was still angry at myself and angry at your father, which made me feel guilty for being angry at him. I didn't want to face my own mistakes. It's still difficult to do so. When I discovered Mrs. Campion was involved in slave trade, I knew in that moment, despite the need for the money, I couldn't marry her. I would not do that to you."
"I suppose you expect me to forgive and forget?" she wondered.
"No. I don't want you to forget. I want you to remember all the hurt I've caused so you can remind me when I'm doing it again. I'm quite certain I will at some point," I explained. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I do hope for a second chance to make things right."
She stared at me with bewilderment before Charlotte joined us. "Everything alright?" she asked, sensing the tension between us.
I smiled at her and nodded my head. "Another hour of running around and they should all be ready for bed, don't you think?"
"You don't know my siblings very well," she teased.
"Two hours then," I laughed.
"Sidney," Georgiana said getting my attention. "Thank you. For... everything."
I nodded my head and gave her a half smile. It wasn't perfect, but for once Georgiana and I had made peace with each other. I didn't need to explain to Charlotte what had happened. She knew enough to figure it out on her own. Charlotte tucked her arm around Georgiana's and walked out towards her siblings.
After the children ran around and played some games for a while, we went back inside and had dinner before Charlotte showed everyone to their rooms. We had a quick moment to say goodbye before we were interrupted by Charlotte's mother. We both sighed a laugh before I left the house and headed for Trafalgar House. I had to keep telling myself it was only a few more days before we would be entirely alone.
I walked into Trafalgar House and found Tom in his office. He was pacing the floor and occasionally saying something under his breath. He was clearly thinking hard on something. A part of me feared what his mind what creating.
"Something bothering you, Tom?" I asked.
"Sidney! Just the man I was hoping to see." I always worried when he greeted me so eagerly. He usually wanted something like money.
"I have had the greatest idea! It's a sure thing and bound to make Sanditon even more popular to the entire beau monde."
I rolled my eyes and sat down in a chair, resting my arm across the side and settling in for him to pitch his idea. "What is it, then?"
"Arab Stallions!" he announced with grand hand gestures to add to the appeal.
"What about them?"
"Think on it, Sidney! When the weather is too cold for sea bathing, we can offer our Arab Stallions for horseback rides or even open carriage rides along the beach or through the countryside."
"You don't know anything about Arab Stallions, let alone horses in general. Where do you even plan to find them? Where would you keep them?"
"Leave all that to me," he said. "I'll find out where to get some. We can hire a man or two to care for them. We will just need to build a stable."
"All costing plenty of money; money we don't have," I reminded.
"Sidney, in due time all that money invested will be replenished tenfold. I'm sure of it."
"I have no doubt something of this magnitude could have potential, but right now I can't see it being possible. Charlotte and I are already considering travelling to Antigua to meet up with my contact and find out about this investment he'd like me to be a part of. We can't risk spending more money right now when we don't know what the future holds."
"I'm only asking you to consider it. That is all. Talk to Charlotte. Tell her how good it'll be for the town. I'm sure she would agree."
I sighed and pursed my lips. "I'll talk to her," I agreed.
"That's all I ask, brother." He left the room with a skip in his steps. This was ultimately going to be a lifelong battle with him. I didn't doubt he had good ideas at times, but he was too ambitious and overextended himself far too many times. I couldn't allow him to bring Charlotte down with him.
The next morning, I got up bright and early and headed out to Sanditon House like I had done nearly every day since I returned from London. I was greeted at the door by the staff who had come to expect me.
"Charlotte is in the dining hall with her family, Mr. Parker."
"Thank you."
Familiar enough with the house, I showed myself to the dining hall where Charlotte sat with her family.
"Back already, Mr. Parker?" Mr. Heywood greeted from across the room.
"Yes, sir. I uh, I have some contracts that just arrived from London for Charlotte to look over," I said, knowing full well I was lying. I held up the fake documents in my hand to deepen the lie.
"Oh, wonderful!" Charlotte said, eagerly jumping up from her chair and coming over to see them. I handed her the fake papers and watched as she studied them intently. "This is great." She turned towards her family and shook the papers in front of all them. "I need to sign these documents so I can get them sent out as soon as possible. I'll be back in a moment."
I hastily followed her down the hall towards the office and shut the door behind us. She quickly wrapped her arms around my neck, dropping the fake papers to the ground and crushed her lips to mine. I pulled her close and molded her body against mine. I moaned against her mouth, far too aroused not to.
"Three days," she whispered.
I rested my head against hers and let out an agonized sigh. "I don't think I can make it. I just want one moment alone."
She kissed me again, letting her lips linger against mine. "Do you want to stay for breakfast?" she asked.
I smiled and pulled her in for another kiss. "I'd love to."
We released and gathered up the papers that were now scattered across the floor. I pulled her to me for one last kiss. She rested her hands against my chest and let them trail down my stomach. "By the way, Sidney. I enjoy the leather waistcoat and pants," she teased with a grin. She looked me up and down mischievously before opening the door to leave. I glanced down noticing what I had worn and smiled, feeling more aroused than before. I would have to wear the leather more often if she liked it so much.
I followed Charlotte into the dining hall and folded the papers up sticking them in the inside pocket of my jacket to keep up with the ruse. "Mr. Parker is going to join us for breakfast. Isn't that wonderful?" Charlotte announced. Her siblings cheered with delight. I sat down at the table and began to fill a plate with food as I looked around the table at all of Charlotte's siblings.
"Were the documents signed with Sidney's personal pen?" Georgiana asked with a smirk. I glared playfully at her from across the table.
"What are these documents that are so important?" Mr. Heywood wondered. My heart raced as I tried to come up with a bigger lie.
"Just some paperwork from the banks, father," Charlotte answered. I glanced her direction and gave her a knowing smile. She grinned back and raised an eyebrow. I had gotten so good at reading her facial expressions. I knew this sneaking around her parents was exciting for her.
"Mr. Heywood," I began trying to change the subject. "My brother, Tom is interested in starting an Arab Stallion stable here in Sanditon for visitors to rent. He thinks during the colder months when sea bathing isn't as possible people may still like to take a ride on horseback or an open carriage through the countryside or along the coastline. What is your opinion of the idea?"
"I think it's a fine idea. Mr. Tom Parker is always full of grand ideas, there's no denying that."
"How much is this going to cost him?" Charlotte asked, knowing full well he had no way to finance the notion.
"I haven't run the numbers, but I'm sure it would be a great deal," I answered her. "He'd also need to hire men to care for the horses since he wouldn't have the slightest idea how to care for them himself. There'd also need to be a stable built."
Charlotte sighed. "I hope you told him it wasn't possible right now," Charlotte said.
"Why is it not possible?" Charlotte's mother wondered.
"I could help," Charlotte's brother Simon offered. "If you're looking for someone to care for the horses, I could stay and do it."
"That's kind of you, Simon, but I don't think we can make it happen right now. I don't doubt it would be a potential selling point to visitors, but right now, there's not enough money to make it possible," Charlotte explained.
"I did tell Tom the exact same thing, but you of all people know how he is once he gets an idea in his mind. He won't stop until it's followed through to the end."
"Perhaps I can talk to him," Charlotte offered. "We will see them tonight."
"That's right. The Parker family is coming for dinner tonight," Mr. Heywood said.
"I'm looking forward to my siblings meeting Tom and Mary's children. They will all be the best of friends. I'm sure of it," Charlotte said.
"Hear that, children?" Mrs. Heywood said, getting all of their attention. "Tom and Mary Parker's children are coming for dinner tonight. I expect all of you to be on your best behavior and in your nicest clothing."
"About that," Charlotte began. "Your surprise." Charlotte got up from the table and asked everyone to follow her into the drawing room. I followed even though I knew I should have left. Inside the drawing room were racks of clothing sitting out. I want all of you to have something new to wear for the wedding, even mother and father. This has been a great undertaking for the local seamstress. She has been working night and day to get everything done. I hope I did alright in the measurements."
"Charlotte, you shouldn't spoil them so," my mother reprimanded.
"It's only for this one time. All of you deserve something new once in a while. I know you and father supported us well and did the best you could to provide us with plenty, but I want to repay all that kindness you have shown me growing up."
"Didn't you just get done telling Mr. Parker there wasn't enough money for Tom's potential Arab stallion business? How do you have enough money for all this?" Mr. Heywood wondered.
"That's for me to worry about, father," Charlotte said. "Besides, a few outfits for my family isn't nearly as much as an Arab stallion would cost us."
Charlotte's siblings began searching through the outfits to find the one with their name on it. The girls were given satin dresses in a cream color with different colored ribbons around the waist, while the boys were given new pants and crisp white shirts with dark blue vests. Her father even had a matching vest. Her mother was given a dark blue satin gown with gold trimming. I wondered if the blue was an indication to Charlotte's own wedding gown.
"This is far too much, Charlotte," her mother complained.
"It's something I wanted to do. And Sidney was in agreement," she added. I nodded my head politely when Mrs. Heywood turned in my direction.
Mrs. Heywood and Charlotte hugged for a moment before Mrs. Heywood made all the children take off their new outfits and put them away, so they didn't get dirty. Some of the girls whined that they had to take them off, but they did as their mother said and each outfit was hung back on the rack for safekeeping.
Shall we go for a stroll along the coastline now?" Charlotte suggested. "It's rather cold out, so everyone should dress warmly."
"I'll be staying here, thank you," Georgiana announced. "I have no interest in the sea in this weather."
"We will be back later this afternoon," Charlotte said.
Once all of Charlotte's siblings were dressed and in their warmest clothing, we headed out across the yard of Sanditon House and towards the beach. Even with the chilly wind hitting our faces, everyone enjoyed themselves. The children especially loved seeing the water and a few even ventured to the water's edge and got their feet wet in the icy water. Of course, their mother protested while their father laughed and laughed at how much fun they were having.
I looked down the coastline and envisioned meeting Charlotte at the cove one of these mornings. It seemed to be the only place we were ever truly alone. Perhaps I could convince her to meet me one of these mornings.
While everyone still spent time on the beach, I excused myself to head back into town. I used the excuse I needed to get the contracts sent off, but actually I had an appointment at the jewelers to see Charlotte's wedding band. I walked into the shop and was greeted by Mr. Barnes. He was eager to show me the finished product. He pulled out a box and opened it up to reveal a single sapphire stone surrounded by smaller diamonds on a gold band. I was in awe of what he was able to create. It was absolutely what I wanted. I knew Charlotte would love it. I took the ring back to Trafalgar House and placed it in a safe spot until it was time to put it on her finger.
Later in the evening, my family joined the Heywood family for dinner. My nieces and nephews were excited to meet some kids their age and all became quick friends, playing and running through the house. The sound of children roaming the house only made me think about Charlotte and I someday becoming parents and filling the house with the sound of our own children. A smile came across my face as I thought about it. The realization that it truly wasn't far off before that could be a reality hit me hard. It's all I ever dreamed of.
We spent most of the evening being entertained by the children. I had long conversations with Mr. Heywood about business, about farming, about family, but mostly about Charlotte. He loved to tell stories about when Charlotte was little and all the mischief she used to get in. I loved every story he told and was laughing at many of them while Charlotte looked humiliated.
Tom was buzzing about his new idea with the Arab Horses and had everyone in the room convinced of its potential. I, on the other hand, had my reservations. I didn't doubt its appeal to the higher class, but it was going to be a lot of upkeep and something none of us knew much about. I had a feeling Tom was trying to convince Mr. Heywood to move to Sanditon and potentially take care of the animals or even allowing Charlotte's brother, who graciously offered earlier in the day, to stay. I wasn't so sure Mr. Heywood was keen on the idea of losing yet another child to Sanditon.
Late in the evening, we finally took our leave and headed home. I didn't get one moment alone with Charlotte the entire evening, which irritated me, but made me even more anxious for our time away once we were married.
The following day, Charlotte brought everyone into town to show them the houses we had built and around the town.
"Mr. Heywood," Tom called out as we walked down the street. I knew where Charlotte was going to be and had every intention of finding her with Tom in tow. "I trust our Charlotte has shown you around our town?"
"She has, indeed. I'm quite intrigued to see how much has been done here."
"Good, good. It's been a labor of love on all our parts. I believe we can only go up from here. Sanditon will become the most visited seaside resort in all of the south coast," Tom gushed.
"I believe it will," Mr. Heywood agreed.
"We were just on our way to the gazebo down by the river to have a picnic. It's a little chilly, but the children are very excited to have a picnic inside," Charlotte said, changing the subject.
"Well, we won't keep you," I said, knowing I wanted nothing but to keep her next to me, but I needed to let her have time with her family also.
"No important documents needing signed today, Mr. Parker?" Mr. Heywood asked.
I smiled at Charlotte who also smiled at our secret ruse. "Not today, sir. Perhaps there will be some tomorrow."
"Any word from Mr. Crowe?" Charlotte asked. "I haven't heard from Alison in days. I'm starting to get worried they won't make it back in time for the wedding."
"I'm sure they will be back," I reassured. "I'll send a letter immediately to see when we should expect them."
"Thank you," Charlotte said.
"Good day," I said, as did Tom before we continued our walk down the path while Charlotte's family headed towards the river.
"I do like having Charlotte's family here. They are all lovely people. I think I have Mr. Heywood convinced to let his eldest unmarried son come next summer and help with building a stable and stay to help with the Arab horses we will be getting," Tom said.
"Don't start this again, Tom," I warned angrily. "It's not something we can get funding for right now. If we play our cards right, perhaps in a year or two. But I'm not going to support this if you're expecting Charlotte to front the funding."
"I'll find funding from somewhere else, if I must. I will make it happen. The Moreland brothers, some of them seem eager to settle down and may be interested in an investment like Sanditon. I have already written to Lord Moreland to see what his interest might be."
"Can Charlotte and I get through our wedding day before you start planning your next grand plan?" I asked. "I don't want anything else to happen that will mess it up."
"Not to worry, Sidney," Tom attempted to reassure, but I found little comfort in his words. "I have everything under control. I won't let you down again."
I had my doubts.
~Charlotte~
After what seemed like forever, Alison and Mr. Crowe returned from their extended honeymoon in London a day before the wedding. There was a relief that came over me seeing their carriage pull up in front of the house. We thought it was George and Jane arriving from Willingden, until I saw the carriage and recognized it as Mr. Crowe's carriage.
Alison appeared different to me as she stepped out of the carriage and hugged mother and father. She looked more mature, more worldly. She had clearly gone shopping in London as she came back wearing a new dress and hat. She had a vast look of happiness across her face.
"Charlotte!" She ran towards me and hugged me tightly before taking my hands in hers and grinning widely. "I have so much to tell you."
We walked into the house and left Mr. Crowe with mother and father as we ran upstairs to Alison's old room. She plopped down on the bed and removed her hat with a long sigh.
"Did you have fun? Was London all that you expected it to be?" I wondered.
"So much more than I expected," she answered. "We went to a party nearly every night. I was introduced to so many new people as Mrs. Crowe. My husband enjoys saying my new name to anyone who will listen." She sighed and laid back against the pillow exaggeratedly. "Then every night we'd go back to our room at the hotel and… well you know." She giggled. "We got off to a bit of a rocky start. I enjoyed our first night together, but I will say it was quite awkward and I didn't understand what all I was supposed to do. It was hard to comprehend what he was thinking also. I fretted more times than I should that I was doing something wrong. By the time we got to London, things got easier and it was even more enjoyable. Every touch, every kiss, every sensation was wonderful. I wanted to stay in bed with him every day, just caressing each other's body's, kissing, making love to him." Another giggle left her lips. "We did stay in our room all day one of the days. We never left and just wrapped around each other. He has gotten so good at making me feel things I didn't even know were possible."
"What sort of things?" I wondered, feeling inadequate next to my now fully experienced younger sister.
"Just sensations that build up inside of you and then explode with a force you can't even grasp. It's as if all sense and propriety disappear. It takes some time to build up, but with the right man to bring it forth, it's a powerful sensation," she explained. "You'll understand what I mean tomorrow night. I'm quite certain Sidney Parker will be an amazing lover. He seems like he would."
An anger stirred inside of me to hear my sister talk of Sidney in such a way, but I didn't think she meant any harm. I think she only meant it to ease my fears. Her words only made me more nervous for our first night together. I worried I wouldn't be enough for Sidney. Or my inexperience would cause friction between us. Alison confided she and Mr. Crowe got off to a rocky start but seemed to get better. Perhaps Sidney and I would be the same.
I took a deep breath, trying to push the thoughts aside. Mr. Crowe appeared in the doorway with a grin across his face while his eyes fixated on Alison. "Are you done visiting yet?" he wondered. "I've brought our bags up and was wondering if you needed help unpacking?" I turned towards my sister who had a strange look on her face. She flew across the room and collided into him. They kissed and molded their bodies against each other. There was a fierceness about their embrace that made me realize I needed to leave the room. I got up from the bed and walked out, shutting the door behind me. I could hear them laughing and fumbling around the room as I walked away. I longed to have the same experience with Sidney. I hoped we would be just as good as Alison and Mr. Crowe.
Later in the evening, my brother George arrived with Jane. It was wonderful to have my entire family here in Sanditon with us. I was only missing Sidney. I wished he had come to have dinner with us, but he was seeing to the arrangements for our elusive honeymoon.
I stayed up rather late into the evening, unable to sleep from all the excitement. A part of me worried something else was going to get in our way and prevent us from getting married. Another potential setback was exactly why we chose to marry so quickly. We didn't want to wait for something else to stand in our way. Everything was as it was supposed to be. We had everything planned for a small affair with just family and close friends, with a wedding breakfast at Sanditon House afterwards. It was exactly how we wanted, but a part of me still worried something was wrong.
I sat in the darkness of the drawing room by myself with Heraclitus fast asleep on my lap. I absentmindedly petted him while I stared out at the window.
"Charlotte?" my mother whispered from behind me. Startled by her, I turned around quickly causing Heraclitus to stir. "What are you doing up so late, my dear?"
"I couldn't sleep," I answered.
She walked over by me and sat down in a nearby chair. "Feeling nervous about tomorrow?" she asked.
"I know I love Sidney. I know I want to marry him. It's all I've thought about for what seems like months now."
"But a part of you is still unsure?" she wondered. I nodded my head.
"What if I'm not enough for him? What if he gets bored with me? Sometimes I have such a strong personality and so does he. Our first few weeks of knowing each other all we did was argue. What if we continue to argue and our marriage falls apart?"
She sighed and smiled sweetly. "Charlotte, why do you think your father's and my marriage has been so strong after all these years?"
"You and father love each other."
"Yes, we do. But that doesn't mean we don't have our moments of arguing or getting irritated with each other. You'll learn when to give in and when to stand your ground. He will do the same. I have watched Mr. Parker with you every time we've had the pleasure of hosting him and there's no denying his affections for you are true. He can't take his eyes off of you and seems absolutely enamored. But what I notice more than anything, is his attentiveness to what you need. Right now, he sees you as wanting to take on the world and be the strong woman we all know you to be. He's stepping aside and allowing you to take the lead. But equally, he's ready to jump in and protect you from any mishap if there ever is a need. That man loves you. I can't imagine he'd ever stray from those feelings, no matter how much you bicker. All good marriages bicker from time to time"
"You and father don't seem to argue about anything."
She smiled and turned her head to one side. "We just don't argue in front of our children. We have our moments."
"I just keep thinking about all the things that stood in our way and wondering if there was a purpose for all of it."
"Hardships only make your bond stronger. If you're both willing to fight through the hardships together, it'll only make your love for each other deeper. Love isn't supposed to be easy. Love is hard and takes work. I believe both you and Mr. Parker are strong enough to do that work."
I smiled, feeling much better and truly understanding what she was saying. I knew marrying Sidney was right. I just had to believe it now. I gave my mother a hug and walked up to my room. I settled under the blankets with Heraclitus at my side and was asleep rather quickly.
In the morning, I woke up to the sounds of people sounding as if they were in hysterics. I threw on a robe and rushed down the stairs to see what was wrong. My mother paced the floor, my father stared out the window, and Alison just looked nervous.
"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling uneasy about what I was seeing on all their faces. Something terrible had happened. I could feel it.
"Look outside," my mother ordered. I slowly walked over to where my father stood and saw the light dusting of snow on the ground. I couldn't help but laugh then cry. Of course, it snowed.
I took a deep breath and wiped my face. "It's just a light dusting. This won't set us back. It'll be fine."
"We could always postpone a day or two," my mother offered. "It's still coming down pretty hard."
"No!" I said forcefully. "We will go forward like we planned."
"Should I ride into town and check in on the Parker's?" my father offered. "Perhaps we should see how they feel about it."
"If you want to go into town and check in, you are welcome to do so. I know Sidney. He's not going to want to postpone. Even if no one else is there, Sidney and I will go forward with the wedding."
I had to truly focus on not crying every time I looked out the window. I took a hot bath, had Georgiana do my hair, and dressed in my dress. My father did ride into town and just as predicted Sidney refused to postpone. At least we were in agreement.
We all watched out the window with bated breaths hoping it would let up, but with every moment we waited it seemed to fall even more.
It was later in the morning and still the snow fell. "What should we do?" my father asked.
"We go to the church," I answered. I threw on a warm shawl and readied myself for the walk over to the church. The snow made it impossible for the carriage to drive safely so we would all have to walk. We were just about to walk across the yard when in the distance we saw some sort of carriage coming up the road.
Sitting on top of a sleigh being drawn by horses was Tom Parker. "I knew I kept this old thing for a reason. Do you need a ride to the church?" he asked.
I almost cried of happiness. Tom had truly saved the day. As many of my siblings as possible climbed into the sleigh with my parents and Tom was off headed across the yard. He took three trips back and forth to get everyone to the church. He then rode over to the Babington home and collected them before going back into town to try to squeeze in anymore guests. We were slightly off schedule with the delays the snow caused, but at least we all made it.
Just as I was about to head down the aisle, I heard another sleigh coming up the road. I waited to see who it was and realized it was Lady Susan and the Prince Regent coming up rather fast. I had chills run through me as I saw them pull up in front of me.
Lady Susan stepped out of the sleigh and hugged me tightly. "I wasn't about to miss my dear friend's wedding day. No snow is going to stop me."
"I didn't think you would be able to make it," I admitted.
"Don't tell a woman she can't do something. She will find a way to prove you wrong," the Prince Regent added with a sound of contempt. I laughed and again had to fight back the happy tears.
"Good luck, Charlotte. You look beautiful," Lady Susan said with a friendly smile. They walked into the church and found a place to sit. A few minutes later, my father took my arm and walked me down the aisle. My eyes focused in on Sidney, who was dressed in his best clothes and standing tall and confident at the end of the aisle by Mr. Hankins. He smiled when he saw me, and I could have sworn I saw his breath stop. My father placed my hand in Sidney's right hand and we faced Mr. Hankins. Georgiana and Arthur stood behind us.
"Dearly Beloved…" Mr. Hankins began. From there, I couldn't say what words were spoken. I was lost in Sidney's eyes and all sense was gone. This was truly happening. After so much time and so many obstacles, we were finally getting married. It wasn't just a dream anymore. My life with Sidney began today and nothing more would ever stand in our way.
I was brought back to reality when Sidney answered with, "I will."
Charlotte, Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"
"I will," I answered, breathlessly.
"I, Sidney Parker, take thee Charlotte Heywood, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth."
"I, Charlotte Heywood, take thee, Sidney Parker. to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."
Sidney was asked for a ring, which he placed on the book Mr. Hankins held. He spoke of the purpose of a ring before handing it back to Sidney and asking him to repeat.
"With this ring, I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
Sidney slipped a beautiful ring on my finger and I couldn't help but take a moment to admire how elegantly it looked on my hand.
"Let us pray," Mr. Hankins said. Sidney and I kneeled in front of him as the rest of the guests bowed their heads. Sidney squeezed my hands and rubbed his thumbs across my knuckles. I was once again lost in thought thinking about our life together. Thinking about what the future holds for us and where we will go from here. I wondered about the honeymoon Sidney had planned and if the snow would prevent us from being able to go anywhere. If we had to stay at Sanditon House, would we truly feel alone and be able to be intimate freely. I glanced towards the window and noticed the snow had finally let up and a beam of sunlight shown through the window hitting Sidney and I perfectly. For some reason, my mind went to Lady Denham in that moment. I wished she had been around to witness mine and Alison's weddings as well as see Esther's baby be born, but in a way, I believe she brought all the people in this church together and with that we would continue to live in her spirit and keep Sanditon going for her. In a way, I felt her presence with us daily, but more so in that very moment. I smiled at the thought and felt content with where all of our lives had led us to be.
After what seemed like forever, Mr. Hankins announced we were husband and wife. Sidney and I followed him to sign our names in the registry with Georgiana and Arthur as our witnesses. Everyone else began to leave the church. I could distinctly hear Tom instructing everyone to board the sleighs so we could get everyone back to Sanditon House. Thankfully Lady Susan and the Prince Regent were gracious enough to offer their sleigh as well. Once the registry was signed and it was official, we walked outside to wait for the sleighs to return. Sidney took his moment and kissed me senseless. I could tell he was eager for us to be alone. I could only imagine it was just a glimpse of what I could expect later in the evening. I was thrilled at the thought, but also quite nervous.
"Do you like the ring?" Sidney asked, holding my hand up so we could admire it together.
"I love it. Another family heirloom?" I asked.
He grinned and let out a light chuckle. "No. This one I had made specially for you."
"Did you?" I asked, admiring the ring even more knowing it was his own creation. "I think I love it even more knowing that."
He breathed a sigh of relief before leaning in to kiss me again.
Sidney and I were the last to be brought back to Sanditon House. We thanked Tom profusely for having the good sense to hold on to the sleigh carriage all these years and to remember about it at this exact moment. He had truly saved us from a miserable wedding day and only ended up making it better.
We walked into Sanditon House to a crowd full of loved ones who welcomed us excitedly. Sidney never once left my side the entire day and had a hand either on my lower back or wrapped around my waist at all times. Since we were now married and he was at liberty to touch me freely in front of people, he didn't waste any time. We spent most of the day listening to well wishes and being served food we barely had time to eat. Everyone in the room was jubilant and Sidney and I couldn't stop smiling gleefully.
"I can't believe this day is finally here," Sidney said when he had a moment to pull me aside away from everyone else. "I never thought I was meant to be this happy. I was destined to live in misery until you came along. I'm the luckiest man in the world. I want you to know my happiness is all down to you."
I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned up to kiss him. "What a wonderful life we will have together." He grinned and kissed me again.
We were interrupted by Diana who looked apprehensive to be approaching us.
She smiled, but let her smile fall to a nervous expression. "I want to tell both of you how happy I am you have been able to come together and make this day a reality. I know it's something both of you have wanted for a long time and I'm thankful it's finally happened."
"Thank you, Diana," I said reaching for her hand.
Her eyes stayed fixated on the floor in front of us. "I realize this might not be the best time to tell you this, but since I have no idea how long you will be gone, I wanted to tell you before you left."
"What is it?" Sidney asked with a concerned voice.
Diana raised her head and took a deep breath to poise herself. "I have engaged myself to Lord Grasmere."
"What?" Sidney shouted in disbelief.
Diana begged him to keep his voice down while looking around the room to see if anyone heard him. "He's a kind man and has come to enjoy Sanditon as much as everyone else. He has agreed to invest in the town in exchange for my hand in marriage."
"You can't," Sidney said with so much sadness in his voice.
"I know it sounds sudden, but we have visited many times before and have come to regard each other as friends. He's looking for someone to care for him in his last years of life. Who else better than someone who is used to caring for others? He has offered me a comfortable home and life in exchange for companionship."
"Why, Diana?" Sidney asked.
"We need the money, do we not? You and Charlotte to keep the town afloat and Tom for his new endeavors. He has no heirs to speak of and is ready to use his fortune for Sanditon where he feels he has been awakened to new possibilities."
"We can find another way. You don't have to do this," I added.
"It's already done. We marry in a month's time."
"Diana," Sidney said sounding heartbroken for her.
"Tom created this town. You and Charlotte made this town prosper. Now it's my turn to do my part for this town and my family. This is just one small thing I can do and I'm happy to do it. You will grow to respect Lord Grasmere as I have."
"Does anyone else know?" I asked.
"Only Arthur. He has already grown to respect the man I will marry. They have become good friends and enjoy many of the same things. We will live here in Sanditon as Lord Grasmere finds the climate much more agreeable for his health."
Sidney said no more. He only seemed to be mulling over his thoughts and trying to find any way possible to talk her out of it.
"Please be happy for me. It's all I ask," she said.
"Of course, we're happy for you," I said squeezing her hand.
She looked at Sidney waiting for his response. For the first time since we arrived at the house as a married couple, Sidney released his hold on me and hugged his sister tightly. She seemed to not expect his response and began to cry. "I want you to know you don't have to do this, but if it's what you want, I will respect your decision and support you." She breathed a sigh of relief and hugged Sidney in return, letting her tears fall freely.
"Thank you."
"What's all this?" Tom asked, interrupting them. Sidney released Diana and stepped back grabbing me and holding me tightly against him. Diana wiped her face and sniffled a little.
"You know me, Tom. I'm always emotional at weddings," Diana excused. She patted Tom on the arm and walked back into the room where everyone else was.
Tom didn't ask more about Diana, oblivious to what had just transpired. "With the snow finally beginning to melt away, I am going to begin driving everyone back into town in a short while. I assume you'll need to borrow the sleigh to get away for your honeymoon?" Tom asked.
"That would be most helpful," Sidney said.
Tom nodded his head and began to explain to guests about the plan to get everyone to where they needed to be.
As everyone began to leave and give us hugs and words of wisdom, Mr. Crowe and Lord Babington came before us with wild grins on their faces. The thought of what they might be thinking played in my mind.
Sidney, Charlotte, it's about time this wedding finally happened," Lord Babington said proudly. "I feel just a bit responsible for the outcome."
"I wonder, though, who is more responsible?" Mr. Crowe asked. "Babbers here, or me?"
Sidney laughed and ducked his head. "Why don't I just say you both are responsible, and I can't thank either of you enough. You truly are the best of friends."
Well one of us has to be more responsible," Mr. Crowe complained. "We have five pounds on who convinced you more of the terrible mistake you were making."
He patted Mr. Crowe on the shoulder and grinned. "I think we all won something greater than five pounds in the end. Wouldn't you agree?" Sidney tilted his chin towards Esther and Alison who were talking not far from us. Mr. Crowe and Lord Babington turned to see what he was gesturing at and both men smiled wickedly at their wives before turning back towards Sidney.
"I suppose you're right," Lord Babington agreed.
"Just don't forget we had a hand in your blissful future," Crowe said.
Sidney laughed. "As long as you remember the same about your own blissful future."
Mr. Crowe nodded his head. "Very good point, old friend. Very good point."
"Is it conceivable that all three of us, self-proclaimed bachelors, have all settled down and found happiness in the most unexpected of places?" Lord Babington asked.
"I daresay it is," Sidney agreed.
Mr. Crowe nodded his head. "Who would have thought it possible?"
The three of them seemed to have a good laugh before we were joined by Esther and Alison.
"What's so funny?" Esther asked, whose baby bump was beginning to show through her thin dress.
"They were discussing their bachelor days and found it inconceivable that the three of them have all settled down with a wife within weeks of each other," I explained.
Esther scoffed. "Have they truly settled down or are they just getting started? Can you imagine all of them as fathers? Our children may just all grow up together."
"Are you already trying to say my wife is with child? Mr. Crowe asked.
"Anything is possible," Esther said cunningly. "From what I hear, it very well may already be. Perhaps Charlotte will find herself with child after tonight."
Mr. Crowe looked at Alison with a look of horror. Esther steered Lord Babington away with a grin on her face. I too looked at Alison with plenty of questions. Had she confided in Esther about this before me?
"I don't know anything," Alison quickly excused. "Esther seems to think it's possible, that is all. Personally, I think she merely wants someone to share the experience with."
Mr. Crowe let out an obvious sigh of relief. "I was beginning to break out in hives."
"I think it's something we can discuss further later tonight," Alison said only causing Mr. Crowe to have that look of horror return to his face. I suspected my sister was suspicious she may be with child, but perhaps it was still a bit too soon to tell.
As everyone was delivered back into town or settled in at Sanditon House, Sidney and I brought our bags to the waiting sleigh.
Lady Susan greeted us last. She and the Prince Regent only planned to stay at Sanditon House for the one night before returning to London in the morning. I did not expect them to make the trip, but I was thankful to have them here.
"Congratulations to you both," she said. "I had no doubt this day would actually happen and here we all are celebrating a wonderful love story. Perhaps someday someone will write your love story for all to read."
I giggled at the thought. Would someone actually care to read our love story? I wasn't convinced.
I leaned down and patted Heraclitus on the head telling him to stay. Alison had a lead around his neck so he wouldn't try to follow us. He seemed confused, but licked my face a couple times before I stood up and walked over to Sidney who was waiting by the sleigh.
Sidney helped me into the open sleigh before joining me. He wrapped the thick blanket around us before he took the reins from my hands and clicked his tongue to get the horses to go. I waved excitedly to our families and friends as we rode away into the dusk.
"Are you going to tell me where we are going now?" I asked.
He smirked. "You'll see. It won't take us long to get there."
I leaned up against him to warm up a little while he pushed the horses to go faster. In the darkness, we travelled down a dark road through the trees to what seemed to be going nowhere. Everything about where we were headed didn't make a lot of sense, but I trusted Sidney. He clearly had a grand plan for this honeymoon of ours.
We pulled up in front of a small cabin deep in the woods not long after leaving the house. There wasn't much to it, but there was smoke coming from the chimney, which indicated a fire and was a welcome sight in the frigged air.
"What is this place?" I asked as he stopped the sleigh and settled the horses.
"It's just an old hunting cabin. But, it's at least five miles from any civilization. We will be entirely alone with no interruptions." He took my hand in his and grinned. The thought of being alone was exactly what I wanted. A smile spread across my face at the thought. I turned to Sidney who had an apprehensive look on his face. "Is this alright?"
"I think it's perfect," I answered, leaning against him and squeezing his hand. A look of hope graced his face before he hopped off the sleigh. He helped me down before grabbing our bags and walking me through the dark and into the cabin. The fireplace was the only source of light to illuminate the dark room. There wasn't much to the small cabin. There was only one room with a cooking area, a fireplace, which was already lit and warming the room, a small table with a couple chairs around it, and a rather large, nicely made bed. The bed looked a bit out of place compared to everything else. My fingers touched the delicate fabric of the blanket on the bed.
As if Sidney could read my mind he explained. "I had a couple of the staff set everything up for us. We had the bed brought in. Before it was only a makeshift cot. There should be plenty of food stocked, firewood, comforts from home. We shouldn't need anyone."
"You've thought of everything." I turned around to face him, feeling excited and ready. I placed my hand against his chest, playing with a button on his shirt, before raising my head to look at him. He quickly leaned in and kissed me, his large hands at my hips pulling me flush against him. I let him lead me towards the bed as we continued to kiss. Just as I was beginning to enjoy what was happening and feeling entirely ready for what was to come next, Sidney stopped and leaned his forehead against mine. His face looked pained. I couldn't understand why.
"I need to take care of the horses and the sleigh," he explained. "There's a small barn area outside. I'll be right back." He gave me another quick kiss before ducking back outside.
I took a deep breath and looked around the cabin. Our bags laid at the foot of the bed. I grabbed mine and pulled out the nightgown, laying it across the bed. With quick movements, I removed my pelisse, then tried my best to undo all the buttons along the back of my dress. I was struggling to get the last few undone and getting frustrated at not being able to reach them. I tried to reach them by going over my shoulders, but my arms weren't quite long enough, going from behind only resulted in the same struggle. I tried to pull the dress off without undoing the buttons but that had even worse results and caused my arm to get stuck in the sleeve. I almost started to cry at how frustrated I was. I had never been so helpless.
I heard Sidney chuckle to himself and turned around to find him standing in the darkened doorway, leaning against the doorframe with his arms across his chest and watching me. He had removed his coat and vest, his shirt untucked from his pants and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A grin played across his face. "Would you like some help?" he asked.
"Please," I asked feeling quite embarrassed." He walked across the room and began to unbutton the last few buttons while I talked nervously. "I told you I could do this on my own. Normally I wouldn't have a problem. I never had someone dress me while growing up or even now at Sanditon House. But this dress seems to be filled with buttons that are impossible to reach." Once he undid the last button, he continued by undoing the straps of my stays. The butterflies in my stomach were taking over my senses and words started spewing out of my mouth even quicker. "I should have changed out of it before we left. I wouldn't have had so much trouble if I had. I'm glad you were here to help me, though. Could you imagine if I was entirely alone? I would have been stuck in this dress for days."
He kissed the base of my neck and my breath hitched at the feeling. He continued to trail kisses along my shoulder, letting the dress I held up with my hands alone fall a little further down my sides.
"Are you nervous?" he whispered against my skin.
I thought a moment before answering. I didn't want him to think I wasn't ready, but I wanted to be honest with him. "Yes."
He kissed across the shoulder again and I felt his hand come around to my front and splay across my stomach while his other hand pushed my hair around to the other shoulder and rested against my arm. "To be honest, I am too."
I turned around and his arms encircled me even more. Our eyes connected. I could see everything he wanted in one expression. "You seemed rather well known at the boarding house in London. Why would you be nervous?"
He took a deep breath and looked down like he was upset. "When a man goes into a boarding house, he's there for his own pleasures. His own release. When a man is with his wife, he's there to pleasure her. I'm afraid I'm lacking on how to do that."
"I'm sure we can figure it out together," I said. He raised his eyes to mine and grinned before nodding his head in agreement. Our lips met for a searing kiss. Without even realizing, I released the hold I had on the dress and wrapped my arms around his neck. My dress fell to the ground and Sidney took full advantage of me being bare in front of him. He explored my body not only with his hands but with his lips. He trailed kisses along my jaw, down my neck, across my collarbone. I moaned involuntarily at how his mouth against my skin made me feel. He stepped back for a moment and let out a ragged breath. His eyes roamed across my body while I watched his chest rise and fall with quick breaths. With hasty motions, he pulled his shirt over his head and removed his boots before taking off his pants. With a nervous breath he stood in front of me, entirely bare looking as if he was waiting for my reaction. I let my eyes linger across his body before I smiled and took a step closer to him. I let my hands rest against his chiseled chest before I moved them around his neck, letting my fingers twist into his hair. His hot breath played against my skin as he leaned down and kissed along my neck again. Our naked bodies molded against each other as he pulled me close, making me realize how easily I fit against him as if I was always supposed to fit with him.
He lowered me to the bed and hovered over me, while our mouths met again in a fiery and demanding kiss. He lowered his body against mine, letting me feel every part of his desire for me. Low moans released from his lips. He sat up for a moment and looked at my face intently as if he was lost in thought.
I smiled at him and brushed my fingers across his scruffy jawline. "What is it?" I asked.
He shook his head and lightly laughed. "I just can't believe this is actually happening. It's hard to believe everything we've been through, everything I've done to hurt you, and you still want me."
"I love you, Sidney. Hardships only make us stronger."
He grinned and nodded his head in agreement. "I love you, Mrs. Parker." The sound of my new name leaving his mouth did things to me I couldn't describe. I pulled on his neck to meet his lips with mine again. He laughed against my mouth at my eagerness to kiss him. He clumsily fell back to the bed, surrounding me with his body. My body involuntarily arched against him causing a low growl to escape his lips. He leaned up slightly and let his lips explore down my chest, his tongue flick against the bud of my breast. I let out a small moan at the sensation it caused. Heavy breathing left his lungs as he continued to play with his tongue around my breasts and along my stomach. I took deep breaths trying to focus but losing all sense as he continued.
The sounds coming from me were unintentional but equally uncontrollable. With every kiss, every touch, every lick I was being pushed further and further into oblivion. I could sense Sidney was feeling the same.
He trailed kisses back up to my lips and consumed my mouth with his in a passionate and forceful kiss. His hand caressed my cheek and twisted into my hair, guiding my head to move with his. His body began to rock back and forth against mine. I opened my legs allowing him to settle between them. Once again, it was as if we fit together perfectly. He continued to kiss me with a desirable force as a warmth filled me. He moved gently, pushing further and further into me. I moaned against his mouth as it was slightly uncomfortable, but he didn't falter from kissing me. His fingers lingered at my neck, moving my face to meet his.
Once entirely inside of me, he didn't move at first, letting me get used to the feeling of him. When I moved my hips against his, he took that as his motivation to continue. He rocked his hips against mine, slow at first, then quicker as the friction grew stronger. He moaned against my mouth and had to stop kissing me for just a moment to catch his breath. His breath came out in hot groans against my neck as he rested his head against my forehead. I too, was breathing heavily and whimpering with every thrust. It slightly hurt at first, but as he continued, I got used to it. I even began to enjoy the feeling of him being inside of me.
I closed my eyes and allowed myself just to let go of all my thoughts and enjoy my husband. I circled my arms around his body and let my fingers trace lines down his back, which only seemed to cause him to moan deeper and thrust into me even harder. I enjoyed the deeper thrusts so much, I let him know by letting my hips rise and fall with his movements. My lips met his once again. As a heat filled my entire body, I cried out, thrashing my head to one side. Within seconds, there was a rush of tingles that went through my entire body causing me to tremble.
Sidney let out a loud moan with a deep thrust before letting his body rest fully against me. His face was buried in my neck and I heard him chuckle into my hair. He raised his head and looked down at me in the darkened room. His face was playful yet still full of desire. He leaned down and kissed me once again. He slowly pulled out of me and moved to lay next to me. He let out a sharp breath followed by a bunch of long, deep breaths. I laid next to him, still unable to comprehend what just happened or make a coherent thought.
Sidney reached out and pulled me into his arms, wrapping me against him protectively. He kissed the top of my head as I laid on his chest. I let my hand rest against his contoured stomach. We both still breathed heavily and were too heated by the fire and what we had just done to need a blanket around us.
"Please tell me you enjoyed that as much as I did," he asked.
I smiled and curled my face into his chest, feeling slightly self-conscious. "I've never experienced anything like that before. Was I supposed to feel a rush of tingles? It was as if I was on fire one minute and then the next a feeling of ice moving through me causing this wonderful tingling sensation."
I felt his chest rise and fall with a deep breath as if he was proud. His arms wrapped tighter around me. "That's exactly what you should feel. I hope every time causes that type of reaction."
I smiled and nestled into him feeling utterly content. "Do you feel it too?" I wondered.
"Yes," he said quickly. "Yes, I feel it. I wholly enjoy every minute of it."
I turned my head to face him, feeling proud of what I was able to make him feel. He turned his face towards me and let our eyes linger on each other for a moment before I leaned up and kissed him. He met me with another searing kiss and let his fingers wrap into my hair, pulling me closer and deeper into an exploration of each other's mouths. I was entirely lost to him. He was mine and I was his.
Personal Note: If you aren't on Twitter yet and you are hoping for a second season of Sanditon, please join, let me know graffiti4 and then go to primevideouk to retweet their post about Sanditon. There's HOPE! I've been saying it all along. It's going to happen. We will get a second season and perhaps even a third. We need everyone on board.