WARNING: There is lots of references to sex and a small sex scene which again I've marked with **~** for those who wish to skip it.
~Sidney~
After packing our bags in the carriage and hitching the horses up, I walked back into the cabin one last time. Charlotte was looking around, appearing to be apprehensive about leaving. We had spent an entire week at the cabin. Just us with no interruptions or other people standing in our way. Wedding bliss was an understatement. I believe, if we could, both of us would prefer to stay at the cabin longer. But getting home and back to our daily routines was calling. I walked over to Charlotte and circled my arms around her middle, pulling her back against me. I kissed the back of her neck and breathed her in.
"Are you ready to go?" I asked.
She nodded her head and began to put her gloves on. "Can we come back here again?" she asked.
I chuckled and kissed her neck again. "We can come back as often as you like," I promised.
She turned around and looked up at my face with a sad expression. "I know we have to go back, but I have fully enjoyed being here alone with you. When we go back, will we ever have a moment alone? I'm afraid we won't be free to be like this again."
I tightened my arms around her and kissed her forehead. "We will find opportunities to make it a reality."
She nodded her head, but still looked sad. I took her hand in mine and led her out of the cabin. Once secured in the sleigh, I hopped up next to her and clicked my tongue to get the horses going. We went at a slow pace, both of us longing to stay secluded longer.
"It'll be nice to see family again," I said, trying to give her a sense of something to look forward to.
"Yes. Perhaps you're right. It will be nice to see everyone again."
The trip home was short as we weren't very far. I reminded Charlotte of this fact often on our way home. We could easily take as many trips as we wished to the cabin. I'm sure the man who owned it wouldn't mind letting us use it from time to time, especially if the compensation was high.
We pulled up in front of Sanditon House and Charlotte noticeably sighed with disappointment. I took her hand in mine and kissed her knuckles. "We will still have what we had at the cabin. Just in a different way." She smiled unconvincingly. I'd have to prove to her we could be the same here as we were in the cabin. I hopped down and reached for her hand to help her down. A man came over and took the reins from me to lead the horses away.
Alison and Georgiana burst through the front door and rushed to Charlotte.
"You're back!" Alison cried hugging Charlotte tightly.
"Did you have a nice time?" Georgiana asked before giving Charlotte a hug as well.
"We did. Very much so," Charlotte answered with a glance in my direction.
"You'll never believe what all has happened while you were away," Georgiana said.
"What's happened?" she asked. I too was curious what they were talking about. Crowe lazily walked out of the house and gave me a tip of his head while he grinned.
"Come inside and we will tell you all about it." Alison and Georgiana led Charlotte inside while I followed behind them. They sat Charlotte down and were on either side of her. An instant frustration rose up inside of me. I had been trying to reassure Charlotte that we would be fine when we got home. We would still be connected, nothing would come between us. Yet here we were, home for no more than a moment and she had already been taken from me.
"Diana Parker has engaged herself to Lord Grasmere," Alison announced with an astonished tone.
"Yes. I know," Charlotte said.
"How?" Alison wondered.
Charlotte glanced towards me. "She told Sidney and I before we left."
"Do you know he's also one of the wealthiest men in all of England?" Georgiana asked.
"I know he has a fortune and wishes to invest in Sanditon. I don't know how much he's worth."
"Twice as much as me," Georgiana said. My breath caught in my lungs and a small cough came out of me.
"Two hundred thousand pounds?" I asked.
Both Georgiana and Alison nodded their heads. "It might even be more than that. We don't know the exact amount," Alison said. "He's planning to build a grand house here in Sanditon, probably bigger than this one. He thinks the climate here is more agreeable for his ailments and wants to put as much into Sanditon as needed to complete all future projects."
"Of course, Tom Parker loves him and has been cozying up to him nicely," Crowe added. I rolled my eyes as I thought of my brother trying to go after anyone who had money.
"Lord Grasmere is also good friends with the Prince Regent. He and Lady Susan also decided to do more for Sanditon than just the theatre. The Prince Regent loved Tom's idea of the Arab Stallions and has promised to be back in the spring to oversee the plans," Alison continued. "Father is planning to return with Simon in the spring to help with the horses and will be letting Simon stay for the summer to oversee the horses, with your permission, of course. You know how much Simon loves animals. He will be a great asset to the stallions."
"This is all wonderful news," Charlotte said. She looked thrilled with the potential of Sanditon's future.
"There is a downfall, of course," Georgiana added. "Lord Grasmere is very set in his ways. He was here yesterday with Diana hoping to see both of you. He is not one to look at a woman and think she has much of an opinion, and if she does, she should not speak it in a man's presence."
"This is the type of man my sister is planning to marry?" I asked, feeling a rage grow in me. I was beginning to think I needed to step in and stop Diana from making a terrible mistake.
"He seems harmless, but there's definitely something about him that's old fashioned," Crowe added.
"He will be here with Diana in the morning to discuss the future of Sanditon with the both of you," Alison said.
I sucked in a deep breath and looked towards Charlotte. I knew by the look on her face she was nervous. This was what Sanditon needed; someone with a fortune willing to put forth that fortune for the benefit of the town, but at what cost? I could sense Charlotte weighing this in her mind.
"In other news, Mr. and Mrs. Stringer returned to London so he could continue his training for architecture," Alison said. "Once he's finished with his training they plan to set up their home here. Of course, Lord and Lady Babington returned to London as well as the Moreland men."
But surprisingly, Julia Beaufort has found herself engaged to Andrew Moreland," Georgiana gushed. "Can you believe it? I was in shock when she told me. She barely knows the man and her father has not approved, but she believes he will. She is travelling to London to introduce her father to him next week."
And in some more surprising news, it's been established Edward Denham and Clara Brereton have escaped to Scotland to be married. It's been rumored Edward has a distant relative who lives in Scotland whom they plan to stay with. This relative also has a sizeable fortune. It's quite the scandal." I thought on this development and thought it much in Edward Denham's character; perhaps even Clara's. They wouldn't give up until they had the fortune they both desired. To what lengths would they go to reach their goal, I wondered.
"Anything else?" Charlotte asked.
"What's new with you?" Alison asked, taking Charlotte's hands in hers. "Where did you end up going for your honeymoon? I imagine it was someplace grand and fashionable."
"Not exactly," Charlotte laughed. "But for us, it was precisely what we needed."
"Where, then?" Georgiana asked.
"Where is Heraclitus?" Charlotte asked, changing the subject. I wondered if she didn't tell them because she was ashamed of where we went since it wasn't somewhere glamorous like they expected.
"I believe he's in the kitchen hoping for some table scraps," Crowe explained with a chuckle. "It's become his most favorite place."
I stepped forward and reached for Charlotte's hand. I felt the need to get her alone so we could discuss all that had happened. "Come on," I said.
She looked at my extended hand then up to my face but took my hand and stood. "Where are we going?" she wondered. Everyone else in the room looked quite confused as well.
"We are going to find Heraclitus and take him for a walk to the cove," I explained.
I led her into the kitchen and found Heraclitus sitting nicely under the cook's feet, begging with his eyes for a special treat. Charlotte called out his name and with a whimper and bark, he skidded across the floor and nearly knocked Charlotte over with all his kisses and jumping around. Charlotte laughed and pet him with so much joy. In just the week we had been gone, he had grown even more.
"Would you like his lead, Miss Hey… I mean Mrs. Parker?" the kitchen maid asked.
"Yes, I would. Thank you, Sarah." I would have to learn who all the staff of the house were now that I'd be living here with my wife.
A few moments later Sarah returned with the lead and Heraclitus was secured for his walk. Charlotte took my arm and with slow, comfortable steps, we walked across the yard towards the cove. For most of our walk, we were silent as Charlotte was still considering all the news we had been told. The air was cold, and I felt the urge to hold Charlotte close to keep her warm.
"What do you know of Lord Grasmere?" she asked, once we were down at the cove and she released Heraclitus to run freely for a bit.
"I can't say I know much. I only met the man a time or two. I've never had a substantial conversation with him. Perhaps I should talk to my brothers to get their opinion of him."
"Do you think Diana is making a mistake marrying him?" she wondered. "I don't want her marrying a man she doesn't love for the sake of her family."
"I've been thinking on this as well. It's exactly what I thought I was going to have to do and it nearly killed me," I said.
"Did it truly?" she asked with a concerned expression.
I breathed a laugh and wrapped my arms around her, trying to stop her from fretting. "I felt entirely trapped and enslaved. I began to go down a very dangerous path just to avoid my heartache. Thankfully, I had you to rescue me."
"Should we be rescuing Diana?" she wondered.
"I suppose we need to understand more about their relationship. However, I do think I need to have a talk with this Lord Grasmere about his treatment of the women in this family. I won't stand by and let him treat them like they are beneath him, fortune or not."
"A fortune to sustain the town is what we need, but I worry about this man thinking he can come in and take over the town merely because he has a fortune. I would rather he not invest anything if it means he doesn't show respect to the people who have put their heart and soul into building it."
I rocked us back and forth, tightening my hold around her. "I think it best we come up with a plan on how to handle Lord Grasmere as a strong family unit. If he's going to be marrying into this family, he needs to understand we are all in this together."
"I agree."
"How we do that, I have no idea."
Charlotte sighed and leaned her head against my chest. "Neither do I. But I believe we will find a way."
We stayed at the cove for quite a while, enjoying our alone time even if we were freezing. Eventually, Charlotte called Heraclitus back and we returned to Sanditon House. Charlotte barely ate anything at dinner, yet only I noticed. Charlotte and I retreated to our now shared bedroom right after eating. As much as I wanted to hold Charlotte's naked body against mine in our first night back home, she was too lost in thought. I could sense Charlotte's mind working overboard trying to come up with a plan and thinking on our meeting with Lord Grasmere. I held her close to me, remaining silent so she had the time to think. I too was thinking on our impending conversation. I knew one thing for certain. Lord Grasmere would not come into our home and disrespect my wife in any way. If he even tried, I would have nothing more to say to the man.
Early in the morning, I woke to find Charlotte already dressed and ready for the day. She had a grin on her face, like she had a wicked thought in her mind.
"What are you up to?" I asked, curious and eager to find out.
"Would you be willing to go into town to ask Tom, Mary, and Arthur to join us today?"
"Of course. But why?" I wondered.
She hopped on the bed and leaned in to give me a quick kiss. I longed to pull her back and deepen the kiss further. "I have a plan," she said.
She got up and slipped on shoes before brushing through her hair.
"Care to elaborate?"
"I will soon," she said. "We don't have a lot of time. Please get up and retrieve our family."
I got up and dressed quickly, unsure what Charlotte had planned. I hopped onto a horse and quickly headed into town. Mary was quite surprised to see me and wanted to talk more about my marriage than about coming with me. After some time, Mary, Tom and Arthur loaded the carriage and headed out to Sanditon House where Charlotte, Alison, Crowe, and Georgiana waited. We all joined in the drawing room, waiting for some sort of explanation. Mary again only wanted to talk to Charlotte about our time away and how marriage life was for us.
After a short time of waiting, Diana walked in looking elegant and proper on the arm of Lord Grasmere.
"Mr. Parker, just who I was hoping to see today," he greeted, practically ignoring everyone else in the room. His blatant disregard for anyone else bothered me and I felt I needed to address it. Perhaps we could talk somewhere more private?" For the first time, he looked around the room noticing the large crowd of people.
"Whatever you wish to speak to my husband about can be said in front of all of us," Charlotte cut in. "We are family after all."
He smirked at her, then turned back towards me. "I believe it would be best these matters be discussed outside of the women's presence."
I couldn't hold back anymore. "With all due respect, if you plan to marry into this family, you will learn we have very strong and opinionated women who are not afraid to speak their minds. If you wish to marry my sister, you will need to learn to respect that aspect."
He regarded me inquisitively for a moment. "This involves finances and the Denham fortune inherited, not something a woman knows much about."
I smirked and turned my head feeling a great deal of anger raise inside of me. "If you wish to discuss finances, you'll need to discuss it with my wife. I am not the holder of the Denham fortune."
He turned his head, glaring slightly. "Perhaps, we got off on the wrong foot," he said.
"Perhaps you did," I retorted.
"I'd like to discuss the future of Sanditon together, if we could all sit down and take a moment to breathe. Perhaps have a cup of tea to calm us all?" Charlotte suggested.
He hesitated and stared me down with a glare, but eventually relented and had a seat next to Diana. Everyone in the room looked quite concerned and confused. A servant came in and poured a cup of tea for each person and passed a plate of biscuits around. Lord Grasmere took three biscuits before it was even passed through everyone, which I found quite discourteous.
Charlotte stood next to me at the front of the room, trying to feign confidence. I had no idea what she was about to do, but it didn't matter to me. Whatever it was, I'd stand by her.
"I asked all of you here for a purpose." Everyone turned their attention to Charlotte, even Lord Grasmere. "We all want Sanditon to be successful and our ideas for its future to be considered. However, it's a great burden on one person to sustain the town alone, especially when the person fronting the financial burden is not kept in the loop of decisions and expenses." Charlotte and I both looked towards Tom who lowered his head in shame. "There has been a great deal of emotional turmoil wrapped up in the success of Sanditon. We all benefit from Sanditon's success, which means we all should have a say in what happens. Lord Grasmere, if you truly are interested in investing in Sanditon, we would be entirely grateful, however, we won't stand back and allow you to take over either. Everyone in this room, as well as many others, have put far more than just money into this town. We all deserve a say in how things are done."
"Is that what all of you think I plan to do?" Lord Grasmere asked. He chuckled. "I have no interest in taking over the town. I only wish to make it better while I live here. My soon to be wife has discussed the financial burden Sanditon has taken on her family and wishes to take some of that burden away. That's all I plan to do."
"We thank you dearly for your generosity," Tom interjected. I rolled my eyes at my brother trying to grovel at Lord Grasmere's feet.
"Despite what your intentions are, I would like to see this town be successful. With all of our joined efforts I believe it will. We have had a great season with the visit from the Prince Regent and I can only imagine it will get better every year. What I would like to propose is a partnership between everyone in this room."
"A partnership?" Mary asked.
"What sort of partnership?" Crowe asked.
Even I had these questions, but kept my mouth shut while Charlotte continued. "Going forward, nothing in Sanditon is done or decided without the agreement of everyone in this room."
"Agreement?" Crowe scoffed. "You expect everyone in this room to be in agreement about anything?"
"Perhaps not entirely, but at least a majority decision," Charlotte explained. "We can work together and hold each other accountable for our actions, and not leave the burden of this town on one person. Lady Denham was a great lady, but she took on far more than she should have without the assurance of ever receiving her investment back. This caused a rift in the town that I don't wish to repeat."
"I believe I agree with your thoughts, Mrs. Parker," Lord Grasmere said. "If the men in this room want to form a committee going forward, it's a fine idea."
"I'm afraid you misinterpret what my wife is suggesting," I said, feeling angry again. "Everyone in this room will have a vote, including the women."
He shook his head and laughed boisterously. "You can't be serious. What type of knowledge would they have on this town?"
Mary spoke up first in a harsh tone. "I have stood by my husband throughout this entire process and supported his decisions. However, if I had known about his financial blunders, I would have worked with him to fix the problem."
"Charlotte practically oversaw the entire rebuild of the Terrace after the fire," Arthur added. "She's more capable than most men, I believe." I appreciated my brother for speaking up.
"Alison was out there every day Charlotte was helping with the rebuild working tirelessly to complete the task at hand," Crowe added, defending his own wife.
"Why would you believe the women in this family wouldn't have some insight on what Sanditon needs? Is it not us who do the planning for events and parties? Is it not us who oversee the social connections made?" Diana asked looking hurt by her betrotheds disrespect.
"Well yes, but…"
"But what, Lord Grasmere?" I asked. He stumbled over his words and didn't come up with much to say. "Like I said earlier, we have strong women in this family. If you wish to join our family, you will need to respect this."
"Precisely why I'm suggesting we do things this way. Everyone in this room brings something great to Sanditon. Everyone in this room is family, including you, Lord Grasmere. We build Sanditon as a family for families. We are stronger as a team than divided," Charlotte said. "What do you say, Lord Grasmere?"
Everyone in the room stared at him expectantly. Even Diana had a look of frustration. "It appears I'm outnumbered. I suppose I can entertain the idea of letting women have a say in what happens here in Sanditon. If I am to live here now, I will have to get used to a new way of thinking, I suppose."
There was a resounding sigh throughout the room. Diana grinned pleasantly and kissed her future husband on the cheek. I knew deep down she didn't love him as I loved Charlotte, but it was apparent she truly did care and respect him. I hoped after today's conversation he felt the same way about her and treated her well.
For the rest of the day, we discussed the future of Sanditon as a team, as a family. There were plenty of arguments and strong opinions being spewed across the room, but in the end, I thought what Charlotte had done was more successful than anything else. It made sense for us all to work as a team. This prevented another incident Tom had found himself in months ago. If anything happened, we were all held accountable.
As the day went on, I had grown to respect Lord Grasmere more. He did have a lot of strong opinions but was willing to hear others out. The most opinionated people in the room were surprisingly the women. However, they made the most logical sense when it came to new ideas. The most pressing was the Arab stallion plan Tom had come up with. We all agreed it would be successful, however, Tom wanted to make it grand from the start. This was something we would have to work up to. He didn't like his grand plan being shot down. In the end, we came to a compromise on how to move forward.
At the end of the day, we ate in the dining hall as a family and had a few good laughs. Charlotte's plan, as simple as it was, had been a success. She looked absolutely radiant sitting at the head of the table looking at the family she married into, but in my mind had always been a part of. There was a hole missing from our family until she came along. I thought back on how we had gotten to this point and all the little events that had happened to get us where we are today. I was thankful I had the good sense to fight for what I wanted. All I'd ever need was Charlotte.
After a successful day, Charlotte and I went to our room. She had instructed the bedtime dresser that no one was to disturb us, ever, once our bedroom door was closed for the night, unless it was an absolute emergency.
"Yes, ma'am." The woman bowed at Charlotte and walked down the hall.
I leaned in the doorway with my arms across my chest, grinning at Charlotte. She took a few steps towards me and pushed against my chest to push me inside the room and shut the door behind us. I laughed at her assertiveness, but fully enjoyed it. She crushed her lips to mine as we stumbled to remove each other's clothing and make our way to the bed.
The following day we didn't leave the room until the noon hour, partly testing the staff to see if they listened to her request, but also just wanting to be alone like we were in the cabin. Like requested, no one bothered us.
Two weeks after our meeting with Lord Grasmere, Charlotte and I sat in the church and watched Diana walk down the aisle and marry Lord Grasmere. I still had my apprehension about the union, but my sister seemed confident about her decision. They left right after the wedding breakfast for his London estate where they would stay until his new Sanditon estate was built in the spring and summer months.
The winter months passed rather quickly as we continued to plan out our next steps for Sanditon. As spring approached, flowers began to bloom, and trees were filling with green leaves. Birds and other animals were coming out of their winter hideaways. Sun was beginning to shine and warm the long-frozen ground. We had all settled in for the winter and were getting restless for some entertainment now that Sanditon was warming up and the livelier season was approaching.
Charlotte and I had begun getting used to staying in our room until the late morning hours. Our time alone was when we were truly happy. The nightgowns placed at the end of the bed night after night for Charlotte were never used. I preferred to marvel at her naked body while we lied in bed and she was always a welcome sight in the morning. Always eager to learn and be learned in our bedroom. We were quite active in our early weeks of marriage, but I hoped we would always be the same however long we were married.
Once we left the sanctuary of our room, we were once again forced into being the proper leaders of the home and the town of Sanditon. Sometimes it was hard watching her from across the room, knowing I couldn't kiss her or even touch her until later in the evening. Which is where I found myself now. Charlotte sat on a chair reading a book and looking as if she was entirely engrossed in the story while Alison played the piano absentmindedly. Crowe leaned over the piano grinning at Alison while she played. Georgiana sat across the room writing a letter, I assumed to Otis again, even though he had yet to send her a single letter. I sat in a chair across from Charlotte attempting to read the paper. But she was distracting me with the way she tapped her foot against the floor and bit her lip while reading something concerning then smiling big when something good happened in the story. Page after page, I watched her read feeling entirely helpless to do anything about my desire for her.
Her eyes lifted for a brief moment, meeting mine. She gave me a shy smile before returning to her book. I couldn't take it any longer. I folded the paper and tossed it aside before standing abruptly. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at me curiously.
"I think I need a walk," I announced. "Charlotte?"
She closed her book and stood, always willing to follow me wherever I went. "Should I get Heraclitus?" she asked.
"No!" I said a bit too quickly. I glanced across the room where he slept on his plush bed in the corner. "He looks rather comfortable. Let's go alone."
"Oh, good gracious!" Georgiana said, rolling her eyes. "Again?"
I shot a warning glace at Georgiana before grabbing Charlotte's hand and leading her out of the room.
"Have fun," Crowe called with a chuckle. Alison smacked his arm and scolded him for his comment. There had been a time or two Alison and Crowe had snuck away. I'm not sure why he felt the need to tease me on the same actions.
I led Charlotte out the door and quickly steered her across the yard, going farther away from the house and under the protection of the trees.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
I stopped and turned towards her. I pulled her close to me and kissed her forcefully. "I needed you alone."
Understanding crossed her face and she grinned excitedly. Her arms came up around my neck, pulling me down to her for another kiss. I rested my head against hers, feeling better being close to her, but knowing it wasn't enough. "What brought this on?"
I chuckled and wrapped her in my arms even closer. "Everything you do is mesmerizing," I whispered against her lips before stealing another kiss.
I led her farther into the trees so I was sure no one would ever come upon us. I sat down on the damp ground, leaning against a tree and pulled her into my lap. Our lips met for a fervent kiss. My arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close while she held my face in hers.
One of my hands ventured up her skirts seeking out bare skin under all her layers of clothing.
"Here?" she whispered.
I looked up at her face and gave her a desperate expression. "Please?"
I loved when she would give me the sweet relenting look letting me know I would have whatever it was I wished for.
With her help, we pulled up the layers from her skirt before I undid my pants exposing myself to her. Slowly, she lowered herself around me causing me to gasp and moan. I desperately sought out bare skin along her shoulders and neck to kiss and suckle. Her hips began to rock against mine, causing her to make the wonderful sounds I'd come to enjoy. Our lips found each other again for passionate and desperate kisses. My hands held her hips tightly under all her layers of clothing, guiding her to move against me. She whimpered in my ear as her head fell to my shoulder. Those little sounds she made undid me. With a loud groan and raise of my hips, I released inside of her, feeling entirely at ease afterwards.
We sat for quite a while, trying to catch our breaths and reveling in what had just happened. I would have been completely content staying in the woods with her all day.
"I think I've decided what Sanditon House needs?" she said, brushing her fingers through my hair and resting them at the base of my neck.
"What might that be?" I asked playfully.
"We need a hunting cabin, built right here in the trees far enough away from the house, but still close enough for us to escape to on foot. Someplace only we go to; no servants, no guests, no family."
I grinned, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "What a wonderful idea."
"Of course, we will need to hire a nanny to look after the baby while we are away."
My stomach tightened and my eyes searched her face for answers. "Are you?" I asked, my eyes wide with concern. She gave me a brilliant smile and slightly nodded her head. "You're certain?"
"I'm fairly sure I know the signs. My mother had plenty of children."
I thought back on the weeks and instantly felt like a fool for not picking up on the signs. She had complained about feeling queasy, was lightheaded when she got up in the morning, not eating much during the day and preferring to only have tea and toast, was tired earlier in the evening than usual, which I mistook as her way of just wanting to go to bed and be alone sooner. How did I miss the signs? How did I hurt her for not taking better care of her?
"How long have you known?" I asked.
"I suspected about a month after we got back from the cabin. I have wanted to tell you for weeks, but I just couldn't find the right time."
"We've been alone every night in our room. Why didn't you tell me then?" I wondered.
"I guess I just wanted to be sure. I didn't want you to get excited and then find out it wasn't true," she explained. "Are you upset?"
As upset as I was she hadn't told me earlier, I was more overwhelmed with happiness. It's all I'd ever dreamed of but never thought would ever happen. I'd married the most wonderful woman in all the world and now was about to become a father thanks to her. My chest filled with pride and I felt I smiled bigger than ever before. I kissed her gently, suddenly feeling that everything I did could potentially hurt her or the baby. "I don't think I've ever been happier. What a wonderful life you have given me."
She smiled in return. I could sense her relief that I was thrilled. I wondered if anyone else knew yet. I assumed she hadn't said a thing to anyone, but perhaps a few servants suspected, especially with her choice of food lately.
Once we got up and fixed our appearance the best we could, we walked back to the house hand in hand. We both were grinning excitedly at the thought of a baby coming into our lives.
"Have you told anyone?" I asked.
"I sent a letter to my mother yesterday. Other than that, I wanted you to be the first to know."
"Is there anything I can do? Should I give you space? Perhaps I should sleep in another room, so I don't hurt you."
She laughed and squeezed my hand. "Sidney, nothing you have done or will do could hurt me or the baby. You just need to support me, which means being next to me at all times."
"Are you sure?"
"I think being away from you, especially at night, would cause me more harm than good. I need you to hold me and reassure me."
I pulled her close and stopped us from walking. "I can definitely do that." I kissed her forehead and felt overjoyed with what was to come.
"Should we tell everyone?" she asked.
"Are you ready to?" I asked.
"Unless you don't think it's the right time."
"Perhaps we should wait a day or two just so I can wrap my head around it and be prepared for the comments I'm sure are to come from Crowe and even Georgiana."
"Perhaps you're right. I know Alison has suspected she was pregnant a couple times but then it turned out she wasn't. It's been a troubling experience for her. I don't want to upset her with my news when she is still waiting."
"Has she talked to Crowe about it?" I wondered. He had never said anything to me about it, but I don't know if it's a subject you talk to another man about. More a subject kept private between a man and his wife.
"She has. It's been a stressor on their marriage. She wants kids and he always says he does too, but every time she's not pregnant he seems relieved. She's confided in me about his past, so I do understand why he may have some fear about Alison being pregnant, but it hurts her feelings when he seems more thrilled she's not than if she actually was."
"Crowe has had a difficult life. I suspect when she does finally get pregnant, he will be a wreck until the baby is born and not only is the baby alright, but Alison is alright too. He will more than likely have those fears with every child they have regardless of how many successful pregnancies she has."
"I believe you're right. It's just difficult for my sister, who is emotional and heartbroken about these things."
"We will hold on to our news for a while longer," I said decidedly.
"Not too long, otherwise everyone will be able to figure it out just by looking at me." She ran her hand over the fabric of her dress along her stomach as if there was already a growing bulge. I placed my hand over hers at her stomach and smiled proudly. When we were alone at night, I'd have to look more closely at her stomach and our growing child inside of her.
We continued our walk to the house and stepped inside hand in hand, still giggling from the secret we now shared.
"Letter for you, ma'am." A servant handed Charlotte a letter just as we walked in. Charlotte thanked the servant and looked at who it was from.
"It's from Lord Banington," she said, quickly ripped the letter open and reading it with great focus.
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's Esther. She's apparently not doing so well with her pregnancy. She's been unable to keep anything down and has been stricken to her bed for weeks. He's asking me to come visit her to give her some comfort. I must go at once."
"Are you alright to travel?" I asked, fearing for her safety even more now than ever before.
"Of course, I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?" I glanced down at her stomach before giving her a pointed stare. She rolled her eyes. "I'll be fine."
"I'll let everyone know and ask the servants to pack us a couple bags," I said.
"Us?" she said.
"I'm not about to let my wife go to London carrying my child on her own. We will go together. Wasn't that the agreement? Never to be parted from each other again?"
She smiled and leaned in to kiss me. "Thank you."