WARNING: There is a sex scene in this chapter. It might be the last for this story. Again, marked with **~**
DOUBLE WARNING: There is some content that could be triggering to anyone who has had a difficult pregnancy or lost a child. I, for one, am no stranger to this and it was hard at times for me to even write this chapter. All ends well, I promise. But reading it might be hard. I am truly sorry if any of this upsets anyone.
~Charlotte~
Sidney and I pulled up in front of the Babington estate early the next morning. We rode through the night to get there quicker and slept as much as possible in the carriage. I woke many times, feeling nauseous from the bumpy carriage ride, but thankfully was able to push the queasiness away. Sidney awoke with every startle from me with absolute concern and fear on his face. I sort of regretted telling him about the baby now. If I had known we would be racing through the night to get to Esther, I would have waited.
We chose not to tell anyone about our sudden visit. I didn't want to upset anyone. Instead, we told them we had to attend to some urgent business matters and were planning a visit to the Babington Estate while we were there. No one seemed to question our reasoning.
"Good morning, sir," Sidney was greeted as he stepped out of the carriage.
"Good morning. Could you please let Lord Babington know Sidney and Charlotte Parker are here?"
"Of course," the servant bowed his head and headed back into the house. Sidney helped me out of the carriage with more care than usual. I had to suppress an eye roll.
"You don't have to be so careful, you know," I said. "I won't break merely because I'm with child."
"I'm not taking any chances," he teased. I shook my head and smiled up at him. Tucking my hand around his arm, we walked into the house together.
"Sidney, Charlotte," Babington greeted with great exuberance. "I'm so thankful you are here. I'm entirely at your mercy. Please tell me Esther will be alright. Will the baby be alright?"
"Can I see her?" I asked. I couldn't give him an answer without first seeing her. Quite frankly, I didn't think I was the right person to be giving an answer on the subject anyway.
"Don't you want to rest first?" Sidney asked.
"I'm perfectly fine," I said determinedly. "We came here to see Esther and that's exactly what I plan to do." Sidney relented and gave me a sharp bow of approval.
"Come with me," Lord Babington said, leading the way down a long hallway. He slowly opened the door to her bedroom. The curtains were shut tight blocking out all sunlight. The room was muggy even in the early morning hours and there was an unpleasant smell I couldn't place but made my stomach turn. Sidney and Lord Babington stood near the doorway while I walked past them and sat next to Esther. Her skin was pale and her face seemed thin, which was unusual for someone so far along in pregnancy. I reached for her hand and held it between mine. Even her hand was thin and cold at the touch.
Her eyes slowly opened. She could barely keep her eyes open long enough to focus on me and her breaths were labored. "Esther," I whispered. "It's Charlotte. How are you feeling?"
"Charlotte," she breathed. Her boney hand tightened around mine. "Please make it go away."
"I'll do everything I can to help you. I promise."
Within moments she rolled over and wretched into a bedside bucket. The smell hit me hard and I had to leave the room to prevent from being sick myself. I quickly bolted past Lord Babington and Sidney with my hand clasped against my face. Thankfully a servant came rushing in and helped Esther.
"How long has she been like this?" I asked.
"Weeks," Lord Babington answered. "In all truthness, the entire pregnancy has been difficult for her. I thought she was getting better, then it started up again." His face was desperate for answers. "Please, Charlotte. Is she going to be alright? I can't lose her."
"I'm not a doctor, nor am I a midwife. I can't rightly say," I answered.
"You're the most knowledgeable person we know when it comes to pregnancies. I need some sort of reassurance. Please! Anything you can offer for comfort," he begged.
I didn't know what to tell him. I wished I could say she would be just fine, but I honestly didn't know. My mother had a couple pregnancies that were somewhat difficult, but nothing like this. "Has she been seen by a doctor or a midwife?" I asked.
"The doctor has been here at times. I'm told this is all normal. I can't imagine this being normal."
"This is definitely not normal," I assured.
"What can I do?" he asked. "The doctor has been giving her a tonic to help, but she just keeps getting worse."
"What sort of tonic?" I asked, confused by the news. I had never heard of a doctor giving someone a tonic for pregnancy complications.
"I don't know the name. He gives it to me in a clear bottle and instructs me to give it to her every four hours around the clock," he explained.
"It doesn't seem to be helping. Why are you still giving it to her?" I asked angrily.
He looked ashamed as realization hit him. His face looked entirely pained as if he was about to cry. "What should I do?"
"First of all, no more tonic," I instructed. "We need to open the curtains and the windows of the room. She needs some fresh air. The room needs to be cleaned thoroughly also. I have brought some tea that I've been swearing by as did my mother. I believe it's the same type Doctor Fuchs gave her. I'll give it to the staff to have a cup made for her."
He reached for my hands and squeezed them. "Thank you, Charlotte. Thank you." He quickly took off down the hall to instruct the staff on what to do leaving Sidney and I alone outside of her room.
"Is she truly going to be alright?" he asked.
I gave him a grave look. "I don't know. She doesn't look well."
He nodded his head with a terrified expression. "Is this what I need to prepare myself for?"
I took a step towards him and kissed his lips gently trying to reassure him. "This isn't normal. I can't say there won't be difficult times, but I wouldn't say you need to prepare yourself for this type of experience." He let out a sigh of relief, but still had a look of fear on his face. "I'll be just fine. We need to focus on Esther right now."
He nodded his head, accepting my answer and agreeing to focus on Esther. I instructed him to get my bag where I had stashed my tea just as Lord Babington was returning with servants. They all quickly went into the room and started opening up the blinds and windows. Esther turned and protested with nothing more than a whisper. I went back to her side and assured her it had to be done if she wanted to get better. Servants began cleaning every surface in the room and I helped them change out her bedding without jostling her too much.
When Sidney returned, he talked to Lord Babington for a few moments and steered him out of the room.
"Get another blanket," I instructed. A servant quickly ran out of the room and returned with a plush blanket that was thrown on top of Esther. Even through protests, I helped Ester sit up in the bed and propped her up with plenty of pillows.
She kept begging me to let her sleep and tried hopelessly to curl back up in the blankets. "You can sleep as soon as we get some tea in you," I said, bringing the cup of tea to her lips and urging her to take a sip. Through whimpers, she did as I instructed. Every few minutes, I brought the cup of tea to her mouth and let her take a sip until the cup was finished. When she was done, I helped her lie back down so she could rest.
I didn't leave her bedside for the rest of the day and every couple hours I made her sit up and drink some tea. No tonic was given by Lord Babington or anyone else in the house. Sidney tried to get me to leave her when the sun went down, but I refused. I let her sleep through the night, but I stayed right next to her never sleeping more than a few moments at a time.
When the sun came up in the morning, I started the routine once again. With every cup of tea she had, the brighter and livelier she appeared. She was able to lift herself up at times and able to hold her own cup of tea. She was able to talk a little more than she could the day before, but she was still tired and rested between every cup. I only left her for a few moments to fill Lord Babington in on her process. Every time I came to speak to him, he seemed more and more relieved.
By the evening, she was doing much better and even Lord Babington was able to come in and sit by her. He was thrilled to have her back to normal, even if she wasn't entirely better just yet. I asked the cook to make her a piece of toast. At first, Esther grimaced at the sight of food, but with mine and Lord Babington's encouragement, she nibbled at a bit of it while she drank her tea.
With her permission, I asked to feel her stomach and waited for any movement. Thankfully, with the tea and toast in her system, the baby was kicking quite a bit. I grabbed Lord Babington's hand and rested it right where I had felt the kick. He only had to wait a few moments before he was kicked, causing him to laugh boisterously. Even Esther was laughing and looking happy.
With things looking as if they were turning around, I left the room and allowed them to have a moment alone. Sidney stood in the doorway and took my hand when I came to him. He led me down the hall into a large bedroom. I imagined this was where he had been sleeping while I cared for Esther.
"With Esther feeling better, will you allow me to take care of you now?" he asked. Regrettably, I had been so focused on helping Esther that I had neglected myself. Sidney sat me down on the bed and carried a tray over. On the tray was a selection of meats, cheeses, fruit, and toast. There was also a cup of tea. I nearly broke down in tears when I saw what he had done. I imagined the last couple days must have been difficult for him, not only seeing Esther so poorly and questioning if that would be my fate, but also unable to do anything to take care of me. I picked up a piece of cheese and ate it as if it was the most wonderful thing in the world.
"I am starving," I said, picking up a piece of toast and taking a bite.
"Please don't end up like Esther. I don't think I could bare it," he said, looking pained.
I reached out and brushed my hand across his face. He leaned into my hand and covered it with his own hand. He closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. "You mustn't worry. I will be perfectly fine."
After I ate quite a bit and drank the entire cup of tea, Sidney helped me out of my dress and stays and wrapped me in his arms on the bed. His hand rested against my stomach as if he was not only protecting me with his arms, but also our baby. I smiled at his loving touch and nestled into his side. I was asleep almost instantly and slept well, only waking when sun began to shine through the window.
Sidney helped me get dressed, as he had gotten rather good at tying my stays and buttoning my dresses since we both refused to have a daily dresser back at home.
We walked down the hall and peaked in on Esther who was looking even better than the day before. Lord Babington was at her side laughing and rubbing her stomach affectionately. "How are you feeling today?" I asked walking into the room. Sidney followed and stood behind me when I took the seat at her bedside.
"Charlotte, I don't know what you did, but thank you. I can't even begin to explain how thankful I am for you," Lord Babington said. I smiled and nodded, but I didn't think he had anything to thank me for. I did what anyone would have done. "This is precisely why we asked both of you to be the godparents. There's absolutely no one better."
"You work miracles, Charlotte," Esther said. "I don't know how, but you do."
I scoffed. "I didn't do anything special. I just gave you some tea."
"Thanks to that tea, I'm actually feeling quite hungry for the first time in weeks," Esther said. "I don't think I've eaten much at all throughout this entire pregnancy. But suddenly I'm ready to eat, thanks to you."
"Just don't overdo it. Toast or bread is good, perhaps a little cheese, maybe eggs. I wouldn't do anything past that for a day or two."
"Do you know why I'm feeling so miserable? Is there something wrong with me?" she asked.
I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not a doctor. I don't know anything but what I've been taught by my own mother."
"Whether you have the title of doctor or not, you are far more capable than any man with a doctor title I've ever known," Lord Babington said.
"I don't want that man in my home again. He is no doctor," Esther said angrily.
"I'm sure there's a midwife in town who may be more knowledgeable about pregnancy and giving birth."
"I was sort of hoping you would be here when the baby is born," Esther said.
I smiled and took her hand. "Of course, I'll be here. But I'm not a midwife. I can't deliver your baby safely."
"I believe you could," Lord Babington said.
"It might be a bit much for Charlotte to handle at this time," Sidney interjected.
Lord Babington and Esther glanced at each other with a knowing grin across their faces. "It's true then? You are expecting as well?" Lord Babington asked. "I picked up on the tea comment you made about swearing by it yourself. And the way Sidney has been beside himself since you arrived." Lord Babington grinned at Sidney.
I glanced up at Sidney who gave me a nod and a slight smile. "It's true. I'm only about three months along. I haven't had nearly as difficult a time as you have," I said.
Esther grinned excitedly and squeezed my hand. "Just think how our children will grow up together. I'm so happy for both of you," she said.
"What about Crowe and Alison? Are they expecting as well?" Lord Babington asked.
"Not yet. They don't know about us expecting either," I said.
"Why ever not?" Lord Babington asked with a confused expression.
"I barely found out myself before we rushed here," Sidney said. "Charlotte's been holding in the news for quite some time."
"I couldn't do such a thing. Once I knew for sure, I had to tell everyone," Esther said.
"I just wanted to be sure, before I said anything," I explained.
"Are we the first ones you have told, then?" Lord Babington asked.
"Other than a letter to my mother, yes," I answered. They both seemed proud to be the only ones who knew.
"Have you considered any names or have a guess on what you might be having?" Esther asked.
I glanced up at Sidney. "We really haven't had a lot of time to discuss anything."
"Perhaps you should take a walk around the park to discuss more?" Lord Babington suggested. "I'll stay here with Esther and make sure she has her regiment of tea and toast."
"I suppose we could go for a short walk," I suggested. Getting outside sounded lovely after being inside the last few days. Sidney offered his hand and helped me to my feet, still treating me as I might break at any moment.
Sidney led me outside and into the well-manicured gardens of the Babington Estate. We walked at a slow pace and were silent for quite some time.
"Do you think we should ask them to be the godparents?" Sidney asked. "They did ask us to be their child's. Is it proper to ask them?"
"I always thought we would ask my sister and Mr. Crowe," I said. "But you are right, they did ask us, so perhaps it's only fitting."
"I suppose it's not a decision we need to make right away," Sidney said. "You said you think you're about three months along? Do you have any thoughts on whether it's a boy or girl? Mary always knew. No one could quite figure out how she knew, but she did, and she was right all four times."
"My mother always seemed to know as well," I said with a giggle. "I think there may have only been a time or two that she was wrong. I know with Rachel she thought it was going to be a boy."
"So, what are your thoughts on our baby?" Sidney asked.
I haven't really thought about it. I don't think I actually believed it was true until I sent the letter to my mother and told you. I've had just as much time as you to come to terms with the reality of being with child."
"What do you wish for then?" he asked.
"That's an impossible question," I said. "What do you wish for?"
He stopped and pulled me into his arms, kissing my forehead gently. "I honestly don't care as long as both you and the baby are safe and healthy. That's truly all that's running through my mind right now. Seeing Esther in such a state has me terrified for you."
"Sidney, not everyone is the same. I've barely had any nausea like Esther has had. I can't imagine I'll be as bad as she is. It's been a rather easy pregnancy so far," I reassured.
"Still, the thought of you being in the same condition as Esther keeps playing in my mind. I can't imagine I'll sleep much for the rest of the pregnancy."
I laughed. "You better try to get some sleep while you can. Once the baby is born, you'll never sleep again. Don't think I'm going to be one of those mothers who hands her baby off to a nanny to care for. My mother never had a nanny, and although I may hire one for while we are away, I do plan to be a hands-on mother."
He tightened his arms around me and grinned. "I wouldn't expect anything less. I plan to do the same. I've dreamed of this moment for years." I rested my head against his chest and felt entirely content just being in his arms. I was excited to see Sidney be a father.
Days went by and every day Esther got better. Her strength had begun to return, and she was even able to take short strolls through the gardens with either Babington or myself. Her stomach had grown so much since last I saw her at mine and Sidney's wedding. She was nearly to term and it was apparent with the size of her. Despite her own weak body, it appeared as if the baby was going to come out strong and healthy.
While in London, Sidney and I decided to have dinner with Diana and Lord Grasmere. I believe he wanted to check up on her more than anything. I know he still had reservations about Lord Grasmere. She had settled into her knew life rather comfortably. Lord Grasmere doted on her at every turn. She was truly adored by him and she seemed even happier now than she did when she got married. I was thankful she was happy, even if they didn't seem like a good match to the rest of the family.
Diana invited us to a party in the city where everyone who was anyone would be. Both Lord Grasmere and Diana thought it might be a great time to start promoting Sanditon for the season. There were already a few people booking houses at the terrace, but Tom and Lord Grasmere had ambitions to fill every house before the season even begun.
The night of the party, I dressed in a borrowed dress of Esther's. I checked in on her before we left. Lord Babington sat at her side nearly every night keeping constant vigil. She seemed in good spirits as did Lord Babington.
Sidney led me to the waiting carriage where we were taken into the heart of London and dropped off at a large estate where the party was being held. Diana found us as soon as we walked in and greeted us excitedly.
"You came!" she said.
"We do need to promote Sanditon," Sidney said.
"I will do my best to help as well," she said, before slipping away and joining Lord Grasmere.
I gripped onto Sidney's arm and took a deep breath. I never felt comfortable in London. There were too many people, and everything was so loud. "I don't think I'll wish to dance tonight. I'm afraid my stomach won't be able to handle the spins."
"Not to worry. We won't dance, nor will we stay for long," he reassured. We walked around arm in arm greeting people we knew with pleasantries and nodding politely to those we didn't know. Even though our marriage was properly posted in the papers, there were still people, mostly women, who stared at us with curious eyes. It made me rather uncomfortable. Sometimes I wondered if everyone could tell I was already with child.
"I'm afraid I feel rather out of place," I said. "I don't think I will ever feel comfortable in this company."
"Nor will I, I'm afraid. Much prefer Sanditon," he said.
Lord Grasmere called us over from across the room. Sidney led me over and we were introduced to a Mr. Booth. He was newly married and looking for somewhere to spend the season with his new wife. We talked greatly about Sanditon and all its possibilities. By the end of our conversation we had him convinced to take up an apartment for the season. He was looking forward to the annual cricket match and the regatta.
Sidney grabbed a drink from a passing tray and turned towards me. "One down. How many more to go?" he asked.
I giggled. "It would take more than one night to fill all of the houses."
"I'd personally rather we leave," he said. "I don't want you overdoing anything."
"Sidney, how many times do I have to tell you I'm fine?" I asked.
"Can you blame me for worrying about my wife?" he asked with a smile.
"Miss Heywood," the familiar voice of Isaac Moreland spoke from behind Sidney. Sidney's genuine smile fell, and the pleasant fake smile appeared instead while he turned around. "And Mr. Parker. What a pleasure to see you both."
I tucked my hand around Sidney's arm and held onto his arm with my other hand, so my wedding ring was clearly seen. "It's Mrs. Parker now."
"Of course. I am aware of your union. Forgive me, I must have forgotten," he said.
"No harm done," Sidney said with an irritated tone.
"What brings you to London?" he asked.
"Lord Babington and Lady Esther are about to have their first child. We came to support them," I explained leaving out all the details of Esther's complicated pregnancy.
"I see."
"How is your family?" I asked politely. "I heard your brother Andrew is engaged again to Julia Beaufort?"
He laughed and ducked his head. "He is. Although, I'm not entirely sure it'll work out. Her father doesn't seem thrilled with the match. He expected her to engage herself higher up in the line of succession."
"Someone like you, then?" I asked.
He laughed again and nodded his head. "I believe I made it clear I thought both Beaufort girls a bit too young for my taste." He sighed and his face became serious again. "Besides, I've already engaged myself to another."
"Did you?" I asked surprisingly.
"Her name is Maryanne Vallow. She comes from a very prominent family up north," he explained with great enthusiasm. It was clear he was excited about the union. "We plan to spend the season in Sanditon. She's never been to the seaside and is very excited to see it."
"What wonderful news. We look forward to seeing you there. I'm sure your father is thrilled."
He chuckled. "Of course, he is."
"We are both very happy for you and wish you and Miss Vallow a happy future, don't we Sidney," I said.
"Right," Sidney said. Both men observed each other for a moment as if they were sizing each other up. I gripped onto Sidney's arm tighter.
"Well, I wish you both a happy future as well. It was a pleasure to see you again… Mrs. Parker. Excuse me," he said. Sidney bowed towards him as he walked past us.
"There's another one. We are on a roll, Sidney," I said, laughing at how easy it was becoming to convince people to visit Sanditon for the season.
Sidney took a visible deep breath. "Did you ever consider him?" he asked, still watching Mr. Morland retreat out of the room.
"Consider him for what?" I wondered.
Sidney's eyes focused on mine. "As a potential suitor."
I laughed. "Why would you think such a thing?"
"It's clear he considered you. It never crossed your mind?" he wondered.
"There have been a few men who I'm sure had thoughts of marriage, but that doesn't mean I entertained the idea. On the contrary, I believe it only made me long to be married to you even more. I wasn't blind to Mr. Moreland's attraction. He was kind to me, and I enjoyed our talks at times, but he knew from the beginning I was already taken. Perhaps it's naïve of me, but you're all I ever wanted. Once I got past the tongue lashings, of course."
"If I had gone to Antigua, I believe the man would have tried to convince you to marry him. I fear he would have won out in time." His face looked pained. I took his hand in mine and brought it to my lips for a simple kiss. Anything more would have been improper in this crowd.
"I suppose I should be thankful my husband had the good sense to jump off that ship," I said playfully. "But even if he hadn't, he truly had nothing to worry about. I've always been yours and I always will."
The corners of his lips rose slightly, and his expression softened. "What have I done to deserve you?" he asked. His expression and the way he looked at my lips made it very apparent he wished to kiss me. As much as I wanted him to, this was not the place to do so. I ducked my head and took a step away. He looked confused by my actions.
"Later tonight. We have work to do," I whispered. He nodded his head in understanding and grinned.
The rest of the evening, we talked to anyone who would listen. We had plenty of people interested in visiting Sanditon, but just as many who had no interest. Once we mentioned the Prince Regent or Lady Susan visiting again, people's interest perked. By the end of the night, we had a few confirmed visitors to Sanditon and plenty more who said they would consider it.
Sidney and I boarded the carriage late in the evening and headed back to the Babington Estate. I was exhausted and thrilled to be able to go to bed. I rested my head against Sidney's shoulder and had nearly fallen asleep when we pulled up in front of the house. Sidney helped me out of the carriage and guided me through the house to our room.
"I knew you were going to do too much tonight," he said. "I should have made you stay here."
"I'm only tired. Besides, you could have told me to stay here all you want, I wouldn't have to listen."
He scoffed and shook his head. "I suppose it's going to take some time to get used to."
Sidney turned me around and started undoing all the buttons along my back. His breath was hot against my neck as he leaned in and let his lips brush against my bare skin. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, delighting in the sensation. I tilted my head to the side granting him access to my neck. He gently pulled down the sleeve of my dress and left a trail of gentle kisses from my shoulder to my ear.
"Do you want to sleep?" he whispered against my ear. I shook my head, feeling more alive now than I did just a moment ago.
He pulled the dress off of me and started to untie the strings of my stays, letting it also fall to the ground. He slowly turned me around and met my lips with his for a tender yet hungry kiss. He pulled the pins from my hair, dropping them to the ground one by one. Slowly, my hair began to fall freely against my shoulders. He brushed it out of the way and once again began kissing my shoulders and down my arm. With slow and careful work, he pulled my shift off, leaving me exposed. Chills from the cold room went up my spine and I shivered slightly.
He quickly stopped kissing my arm and let go of me completely. His arms hovered around me like he was afraid to touch me. He stared at my face with a look of fear. "Are you alright?"
"I'm only a bit cold," I assured with a giggle.
"Is this… Can we do this?" he asked sounding concerned.
"Of course, we can," I said.
"I don't want to hurt you, or the baby."
"You won't. I promise." I leaned up and kissed him forcefully and taking my turn to undress him. He laughed against my mouth but helped me in the process of undressing him before we made our way to the bed. He was far more gentle than usual, but I sort of liked the sensual and tender side of him. He caressed every part of my body with his fingertips and mouth, causing the most wonderful sensation deep inside of me. I wasn't expecting his lips and his tongue to find their way between my legs and licking across areas I didn't even know he could. His fingers also traced through my folds and gently rubbed the tender spot. I liked what his tongue was doing to me. Hushed whimpers left my lips as I arched my hips into him and roughly brushed my fingers through his hair. I enjoyed the feelings and emotions he was evoking inside of me. New sensations I had yet to experience came rushing through me. He smiled brightly up at me after loud moans and cries left me and my body withered under him.
He stopped at my stomach and left many gentle kisses, clearly thinking about what was inside of me, until he trailed kisses up my body, stopping when he was hovering over me. "You mentioned my tongue earlier. I hope that was more enjoyable than my earlier tongue lashings."
"I didn't even know you could do that and cause such feelings in me," I said, still feeling overwhelmed with emotions.
"Your book didn't show you anything like this?" he asked with a chuckle.
"I suppose it did," I said thinking back on some of the pictures. "Perhaps I didn't quite understand what was happening in the pictures."
"Did you enjoy it?" he asked.
I grinned at him. "Very much so."
"Good," he said proudly.
He lowered himself down on me and began kissing my neck and further still until he reached my breast. His mouth closed around the pert nipple and sucked it between his teeth and swirled that wonderful tongue of his around it. Once again, I felt as if I would come undone. He played with both breasts for a moment before adjusting and sliding inside of me. I gasped and squeezed my hips around him.
"Is this alright?" he whispered.
"Yes," I said breathlessly while moving my hips and silently begging him for more. My senses seemed heightened and more prominent. "Yes, please!"
He started out with slow, gentle rocking motions, but I wanted more. I pushed on his chest and his eyes flew open when I lifted off the bed and pushed him to fall on his back. He laughed, but I didn't. I wanted more. I needed more. Now on top of him, he placed his hands behind his head, sighing and watching me with such desirable eyes while I slid up and down around him. A playful grin appeared on his face.
"That's it," he whispered. "Roll your hips… Yes… Just like that…" Groans of pleasure left his gritted teeth as his hands flew to my hips, pushing and pulling me even harder. His hips bucked into mine with gentle motions.
"Sidney…" I moaned breathlessly as I tried to match his motions with mine and be the more aggressive lover. Within moments, I came undone around him. He slowed his rocking and let out a pleasurable sigh. Again, that playful grin appeared on his face. He took in a deep breath and stared up at me. "Do you have any idea how much I love you? I still can't believe I have you as mine."
I laughed and rolled to his side. He instantly pulled me to him as if he might perish if I wasn't in his arms. "I suppose I could say the same thing about you. I could never love another like I love you."
He leaned over and kissed my head. "Nor could I."
In the morning, I woke still in Sidney's arms, but turned the other direction. One of his arms lay under me while the other draped across my hip and his hand pressed against my stomach. I cherished how protective he had become of our baby already. As much as I knew I needed to get up and check on Esther, I couldn't help myself. I nestled even closer to him, lacing my fingers with his. The sudden movement must have woken him slightly since his fingers gripped onto mine tighter and the arm under me wrapped around my frame. Gentle kisses played across my shoulder and down my back. The sensation tickled and caused me to giggle. He stopped kissing me and smiled against my skin before resting his head back against the pillow.
"I should get up and see how Esther is doing?" I declared, even though I made no effort to move.
"I just want to hold you for a moment longer," he said.
I smiled to myself at how much I enjoyed being in his arms and loving him so fully. Being married to Sidney was the happiest event of my life. I couldn't imagine something being better.
"Now that Esther is feeling better, I'd like to go into the city," I said.
"Do you wish to go dress shopping?" he asked almost in a teasingly way.
I laughed. "No, not exactly. I will need to find more of the tea I use. I also think it might be nice to find something special for Esther and the baby. I'm sure there's a shop somewhere that sells baby items."
"Alright. Once you are ready, we can head into the city," he said.
I sighed, squeezing his hand one more time before pulling myself up and beginning the day. Sidney helped me get dressed into a flower-patterned day dress and gave me a long, passionate kiss before getting himself ready. While I pinned my hair up and placed a hat on my head, I watched him put on the leather pants and waistcoat I enjoyed, along with a black jacket and black boots. With top hat on and cane in hand, we left the room and walked down the hallway to check in on Esther. When we got to her room, she wasn't there. I was concerned for a moment, until I looked through a window and noticed she was in the garden with Lord Babington.
We walked outside to greet them and found Esther to be in wonderful spirits. She was still weak and had a hard time standing for too long, but she was doing much better and getting fresh air seemed to suit her. We explained where we were headed and promised to be back by early evening.
Once we were in London, we found a small shop specializing in tea and I found the specific type I needed plus another type that was exotic and quite interesting. I thought I'd hold on to this one until I got home and was able to try it out with Georgiana and Alison.
After we were done, Sidney led me into an art gallery where we looked around at some paintings and sculptures arm in arm. There were a few I really enjoyed and admired longer than others. There were mostly landscapes and a few portraits on display. The sculptures were quite intriguing. How someone could take a piece of stone and carve it into a marvelous likeness was simply breathtaking.
"May I help you, sir?" a man asked, stepping out of a back room. He was a short man with graying and thin hair. His clothing was simple and splattered with paint residue. His eyes, though old and weathered, were still full of wonder and expression. He looked like a man who had witnessed many great things of the world.
"Good afternoon. I'm Mr. Sidney Parker, and this is my wife." Sidney bowed in greeting and I curtsied when the man looked at me with a pleasant expression. "Are you the artist of these fine works?"
"I am, sir. Mr. Fredrickson, at your service."
"My wife and I live in Sanditon. Have you ever heard of it?"
"Yes, yes. I've heard a great deal about Sanditon. I have a mind to visit someday. I hear it's quite picturesque."
"Yes, I do believe you would find much inspiration for your art. Would you be interested in staying for a season in exchange for painting a portrait of me and my wife?" Sidney asked, wasting no time to get to the point.
Mr. Fredrickson excitedly stumbled over his words, but somehow found the words to agree. He and Sidney spoke of arrangements while I continued admiring the artwork.
When Sidney was done, he found me admiring a landscape of a forest with a small cabin hidden among the trees. Sidney placed his hand at the small of my back and looked at the portrait as well. "Doesn't this one remind you of our stay at the cabin in the woods?" I asked.
"It does, indeed," he said. "Excuse me, Mr. Fredrickson? Would you mind throwing in this painting to our deal? My wife quite enjoys this one."
"Yes, sir. Of course, sir. I will personally bring it to you when I come to Sanditon," he agreed.
Sidney bowed, thanking him and led me out of the shop. "What exactly were the term you offered him?" I wondered.
"In exchange for painting our portrait and now the painting you admired, he will be given a shop in town to display his art for the season as well as living accommodations," Sidney explained. "Now we just need to find an available shop space."
"Sidney! You don't even have a place in mind?" I asked shockingly.
"We will think of something. I'm sure we can find a spot for him. I have to find a way to replace that painting in the front room somehow," he said with a chuckle.
I sighed and shook my head as we continued to walk slowly down the path. "Even if we do replace it, I'll find another spot for the portrait. Perhaps above our bed would be a good spot," I teased.
"Charlotte, I beg you, anywhere but there," I said desperately, causing me to laugh wholeheartedly.
"Miss Heywood!" some called out. I turned towards the voice and saw Mr. and Mrs. Stringer walking towards us.
Sidney and I turned and greeted them politely. "We didn't know you were coming to London. We would have offered to have you over for tea."
"It was an unexpected trip," I explained. "We came to visit some dear friends."
"How is Sanditon?" Mr. Stringer asked.
"Very well. We will be working on some new buildings during the warmer season, notably the Arab stallion arena and the theatre the Prince Regent has commissioned. Sidney and I were married a few months ago as were Diana Parker and Lord Grasmere and we just recently learned Julia Beaufort is engaged to Andrew Moreland."
"Oh, forgive me. I called you by the wrong name. You must think me terribly rude," Mrs. Stringer said.
"Not at all," I laughed. "It's not the first time I've been called by the wrong name. It's still so new to me as well and will take everyone some time to get used to."
"Don't you remember when we were married and how long it took acquaintances to get used to your new name?" Mr. Stringer asked.
"I suppose you're right," she agreed. "I feel terrible for my slipup. I read of your union in the papers. It was a small wedding in Sanditon, was it not? And wasn't there a snowstorm on the day?"
I glanced at Sidney and smiled at the memory of our wedding. "The snow ended up being a blessing in disguise. It made the day even better. We only had family and a couple close friends in attendance."
"There are rumors the Prince Regent even attended," she said, almost like she was questioning if it was true but also as if she found it unbelievable.
"He did actually, as well as Lady Worcester."
"That must have been quite an uncomfortable ordeal. I couldn't imagine having the Prince Regent at my wedding," she said.
"They have become wonderful friends of ours. It wasn't so terrible," I explained.
"Do you plan to return to Sanditon for the building, Mr. Stringer?" Sidney asked changing the subject. I let out a small sigh of relief for his help. There was a queasiness that hit me suddenly and my hand rested against my stomach while I tried to surpass it.
"Unfortunately, we won't be returning to Sanditon anytime soon. I am still doing my training for architecture and have been helping with many projects here in London," Mr. Stringer explained.
"Well I do hope you'll visit again someday," Sidney said. "If you'll excuse us, we have some things to attend to still." Sidney could sense my discomfort and placed his hand at my lower back and led me away.
"Are you alright?" Sidney asked.
"I'm just feeling a bit sick. I might need to sit down for a moment," I said. He quickly led me into an inn with a dining hall and asked to have us seated at once. We were sat at a small table and brought some tea as well as fresh bread. I was thankful for the bread. At least it was something to calm the uneasy feeling in my stomach.
Sidney ordered some simple soup for both of us. I think the man taking our order could tell I was with child and not feeling well. He handed me an extra napkin and brought out another tray of bread. After eating a little something, I felt much better and Sidney and I were able to continue our excursion in the city. We found plenty of shops with baby items. We even bought a few things for our own baby. It was exciting to look at baby items and know it was only a short time away before Sidney and I would be parents also.
At the end of the day, we returned to the Babington Estate and shared with Esther what we had found for her baby. She was overwhelmed with joy. Since she has had such a terrible time with her pregnancy, she wasn't able to prepare much for the baby. I was happy we were able to provide her with a few items to help her out.
By the end of the week, Sidney and I had been to another party as well as the theatre. I much enjoyed the theatre. I laughed and cried through the entire show, loving every minute of it. Sidney and I were able to make plenty of connections and speak of Sanditon and all it offered. Even though our main goal for coming to London was to see Esther and help her through her pregnancy, we had made our trip even more successful by promoting Sanditon.
With Esther feeling better, we had decided to head home before the town filled up with patrons for the season. Esther protested and wished we would stay longer, but she knew why we needed to return, and I did promise to come back when it was closer to delivery time. I was not going to pass up an opportunity to see the baby. Perhaps I'd bring Alison and Georgiana with me the next time we came to visit.
On the night before we were to head back to Sanditon, Sidney and I were awoken by a loud banging against our door. Sidney quickly released his hold around me and put on a pair of pants before opening the door to see what was going on. I wrapped the bedsheets around my naked body and tried to listen to what was wrong.
"It's Esther. She's throwing up again. She's spiked a fever this time and she says she has such terrible pains," Lord Babington shouted with desperate breaths. "Please. She's asking for Charlotte."
"We'll be right there," Sidney said. Once the door was shut, I hopped out of bed and threw on the dress I had worn that day and asked Sidney to help with the buttons. I didn't care if it was even on correctly. I just knew I needed to get to Esther. Before Sidney had a chance to dress himself, I left the room and ran down the hallway to Esther's room.
"Charlotte," she cried. "What is wrong with me now?"
"It's alright. We will take good care of you."
She grimaced in pain and rolled to her side. I felt her stomach and knew instantly what was happening. She was in labor. I left her side for a moment and told Lord Babington to send for the midwife. He was quite confused but followed directions and had one of his servants ride into town to fetch the midwife. I asked another servant to bring fresh towels and boiling water.
"What's going on?" Sidney asked with concern.
"She's in labor," I explained calmly.
"You're certain?" he asked. "It's too early isn't it?"
I nodded my head. "With her spiking a fever and retching again, I'm worried; not only for her safety but for the baby as well."
"What can I do to help?" he asked.
"Try to keep Lord Babington calm. I'll stay with her until the midwife gets here."
Sidney nodded his head and went to fetch Lord Babington from the room and steer him out. Once he was away, I stepped closer to Esther and took her hand.
"What's happening?" she asked, a horrified look on her face.
"You're in labor. The baby is coming."
"No!" she shouted. "It's too soon." Tears streamed down her face.
"It's only a month early."
"Will the baby be alright?" she cried.
I sighed, not knowing how to answer that question. As much as I worried about the baby living, I also worried about her life. "I will do everything I can to help you and the baby."
Another pain hit her, and she screamed in agony. I couldn't wait for the midwife. I had to check to see where she was in delivery. I told her what I was going to do, but she was in so much pain, she didn't seem to listen. I asked the servant in the room to dab her head and neck with a cold cloth to help ease the fever. I went to the end of the bed and lifted the blankets to get a better look at the progress. She was close, but I had no idea how close. I'd never delivered a baby before. I had helped with animals and I'd been present when my mother had some of my siblings, but I'd never done anything on my own. I felt around and could feel the baby's head already coming through. My heart about stopped. I thought we'd have more time. My mother would be in labor for days it seemed.
"Do you feel an urge to push?" She didn't answer. She looked entirely exhausted and was taking labored breaths.
I felt the baby shift against my fingers, and I knew she needed to push. "Esther, you have to push. The baby is coming. You have to push!" She shook her head and tears streamed down her face. I knew she was scared, but despite what happened to the baby, she couldn't stop the inevitable.
I went to her side and held her hand again. I too began to cry with her. "I know you're scared. I am too. But you can't keep the baby inside. You have to push. If you don't you both will perish. Please push."
"I can't. It's too soon. Charlotte, please make it stop, just a little while longer."
"I can't make it stop. You have to push."
Loud wails came from her mouth and her head fell back against the pillow. She started to push but cried in torment the entire time. I could barely see through my own tear blurred eyes and I felt for the baby again and guided the head out. Once the head was through, the rest of the baby came out rather quickly. He was small but with a little coaxing and a swab of his mouth, he began to cry and wriggle in my arms. I cleaned him up a little and laid him against Esther's chest. I let out the breath I had been holding and broke down in loud sobs. I cried from fear but also from relief.
Esther held her baby boy close and wiped his face with the sheet across her. "Is he alright?" she asked. Her body was shaking uncontrollably causing her words to come out shakingly.
"I believe so. He seems healthy. How are you feeling?" I asked.
She let out a labored laugh and looked down at her son. "Much better now. As long as he's alright."
She cradled him in her arms for a few minutes, while I waited for the afterbirth and for the midwife to arrive. I wanted to go collapse in Sidney's arms and have him comfort me after such a traumatic event. I hoped he was keeping Lord Babington as calm as possible.
I glanced over at Esther and a pained expression hit her face. "Take him," she said holding him out towards me. "I can't breathe."
I quickly took him from her arms and watched in horror as she writhed in pain once again. Something wasn't right.
"Open the windows. She needs air," I ordered. A servant ran to the windows and threw them open while I handed the baby off to another servant and looked again to see what was happening. To my surprise, I felt a shoulder.
What's wrong?" the servant asked.
"It's another one."
"Two babies?" she asked.
"I need to turn it. It's not in the right position."
"What's happening?" Esther asked. She was so weak from everything she had been through she could barely lift her head from the pillow.
I went to her side and explained about the second baby. Once again, she started to cry. It was highly unlikely a second baby would survive considering everything. I tried to give her hope, but she knew what the outcome looked like.
Another pain hit her, and I went to the end of the bed to see what I could do to move the baby in position. With lots of rolling and pushing against her stomach, I felt the baby's head sit into the pelvis. I felt again and through tears from both of us, I told her to push. With all the strength she had left, she began to push. As the baby's head started to emerge, the door burst open and an older woman appeared. I turned my head to look at her and thought she must be the midwife. Yet she didn't make her way towards us. She stood in utter shock as she looked around the room.
"Are you the midwife?" I shouted. She nodded her head but still didn't move. "Are you going to help me?"
"No!" Esther shouted. "I don't want anyone else. I only want Charlotte."
I shook my head and whined at what she was saying. Fresh tears filled my eyes. I couldn't do it again. Despite my fear, Esther had the urge to push again and with all her might pushed the baby out. Once again, I coaxed the baby out and wiped the baby's face. I wrapped her up in a fresh cloth. She took a little longer to take a breath, but once she did, she was just as feisty as her brother. She was much tinier than the boy, but she had more spirit already.
I convinced Esther to let the midwife step in and help with the rest and also to make sure there weren't anymore babies. She held her two babies in her arms and looked completely content.
"Thank you," she said. "I couldn't have done this without you."
I held her hand in mine and nodded my head in understanding. I was still worried about Esther's spike in fever, but she seemed fine and was gaining strength every moment she held her babies.
"Should I let Lord Babington know what has transpired?" I asked. "I'm sure he's anxious to see you."
She smiled and nodded her head. "Don't tell him. I want to show him."
I agreed and left the room to find Sidney and Lord Babington. They were both pacing the floors of the drawing room when I walked in. When they noticed me, they both bolted across the room stopping mere steps from me. Lord Babington had clearly been pulling his hair as it now stood up on end.
"How is she?" Lord Babington asked desperately. "Is the baby alright? Is it a boy or girl? Please Charlotte, I need some answers."
"Everyone is fine. You can go in and see them now," I said. He bolted past me and ran to the room."
I looked up at Sidney and burst into tears. I fell into his arms and welcomed his comfort. "What happened? Are you alright?" he asked with terror in his voice.
"Sidney. That's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in all my life," I cried against his chest. "If something had happened to any of them, I would never be able to forgive myself."
He soothed my hair and rocked me back and forth in a comforting way. "But nothing happened to them, right? Esther and the baby are fine, aren't they?"
I rose my head to look at him. "There's two."
"What?"
"There's two babies. She had twins," I explained through tears. "I had to deliver both of them. I keep thinking about what could have happened. What could have gone wrong. I was so scared."
He sighed and tightened his hold around me. "But nothing happened. You were brave and did everything right. You stepped up and took charge like you always do. You're the bravest and wisest person I know. You are far more capable than anyone I've ever met. It's why I love you."
His words helped to sooth me, but mostly comfort came from just being held by him.
As dawn approached, Sidney and I walked down the hall and peaked into the room. Lord Babington held his babies in his arms and cooed at them while Esther rested.
"Come," Lord Babington motioned for us to come in. "Come meet my children."
We walked inside and carefully he handed each of us a baby. Sidney looked a bit terrified at first but was a natural.
"They're so small," Sidney said.
"They are a few weeks early," I reminded. "No wonder Esther has been in such poor health. She had two babies making her sick."
"Charlotte, I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am," Lord Babington said. "You not only saved my wife, but you also saved my children. How can I ever repay you?"
"It was nothing. I'm only happy everything turned out alright in the end."
"I will find something I can do, one of these days, to repay you for your kindness," he promised.
Esther woke up a moment later and asked for her babies. We brought them to her and placed them in her arms. Babington sat down next to her. They were in a family bubble of happiness. Sidney and I left the room and attempted to get some rest for a couple hours. I could have probably slept for days, but holding the babies was constantly on my mind. I couldn't get enough of them. Sidney was exactly the same. He constantly had a baby in his arms.
Two weeks past and we still had not headed home. I had a feeling we would never be able to leave. We stood in front of the church waiting for the christening. Alison and Crowe as well as Georgiana, Tom and Mary, and Arthur made the trip from Sanditon to be here for the special occasion.
Esther had recovered completely and was back to her lively self. Both babies were thriving and doing very well considering they were born early. Even Lord Babington was back to normal after such a traumatic event where he very easily could have lost his wife and possibly his children.
"Sidney, Charlotte," Lord Babington called. We walked over to him and Esther who held the babies in their arms. "It's customary for the godparents to carry them in."
"Right," Sidney said, putting his arms out to take a baby while I took the other baby from Esther. Sidney never passed up a moment to hold one of the babies.
"Another thing," Esther began. "As godparents, you also have to announce the names." Both Sidney and I nodded our heads in understanding. Esther and Lord Babington shared a smile with each other before turning back towards us. "Their names will be Montgomery Sidney Babington and Elizabeth Charlotte Babington."
I giggled and tears sprung to my eyes. "You're sure?"
"We've given it a great deal of thought and there's no way either of them or Esther would be here if it wasn't for the both of you. If you approve, we want them to be named after their godparents," Lord Babington explained.
"Of course, we approve," I said. "There's no greater honor."
"Can I call them Sid and Char for short?" Sidney teased with a chuckle.
"Perhaps better nicknames would be Monty and Lizzie," Lord Babington suggested. They had a good laugh at their nickname choices, but I couldn't see myself calling them anything but Montgomery and Elizabeth. It was still a great honor to have them be named after us.
Before we knew it, we were walking into the church with both babies and presenting them to the church for Christening. The event made me all too aware that this would be us in just a few more months and we would need to choose godparents for our own child. The thought made me grin excitedly.
Notes: Hopefully everyone is still alright after that chapter. If there are any questions please feel free to ask in the reviews, but I can't respond if you ask as a guest. So, sign in if you have thoughts or questions. I'd love to hear from anyone reading this.
I want to say there is probably 1 more chapter and then the epilogue, but we will see how long the next chapter ends up being. This chapter was 10,000 words, which is a lot.