My One In A Million
Chapter seventeen:
Some days he missed his old house, with the kunai lodged in the wall outside, with his mother's sewing kit collecting dust on top of the tv, and his plastic dinosaurs in a box somewhere in the attic.
Other days, when he'd spent gallons of water trying to wash imaginary blood out of his fringe, when the gurgling moans of nobody in particular rang constantly in his ears, he would be glad it's been all turned to dust and can never chase him again.
The Uchiha clan houses have been entirely wiped out, even a big portion of the Hyuuga district beyond it witnessed sizable damage. Those guys, of course, had the funds and manpower to rebuild a huge block for the branch families almost instantly, while his land remained a dead wasteland.
He liked it that way.
Or at least, he did before someone decided to plant a bunch of flowers in it.
He didn't usually come this way, not since he nearly lost his eyesight. Too busy he was with rehabilitation and getting enough rest and not wandering too far away from his apartment in case his ankle gave out or his eyes quit on him.
It's been a long time coming and he'd finally found himself well enough to visit, only to find this thing growing out of the dirt like a snarky stop sign. This was where his parent's house was, this was where they died, this bush was living off the nutrients in their blood and ashes.
Exactly here.
Why would weeds or flowers or whatever the heck they were growing here out of all places?
No, no. This was obviously deliberate, he reminded himself and the urge for destruction bubbling deep in his throat, someone had gone through enough trouble to support the branches with twigs and the soil was wet.
Okay maybe it rained earlier in the morning, but the twigs were manmade!
Or womanmade!
There were no traces of chakra, there wasn't a note or an article of clothing to indicate who might have the gall to do it; yet in his mind he was absolutely sure it was no other than the second-annoying-person in his life.
He hadn't talked to her in a few weeks –three, to be precise, but it's not like he was keeping track of these things- once or twice he'd sense her around a corner or beyond a wall in the mishmash of other people's buzzing energy. Around town, at the hokage tower, in the hospital; not once did he go out of his way to meet her in person.
He didn't want to see her, not yet, thankfully she must have gotten the hint because she hadn't been in town for a while.
Nine days to be exact, but it's not like he was counting.
How does one look in the eye a person they're evaluating as a potential life partner?
It's not like with Naruto, where it's an unspoken oath to have the other's back forever, they can have separate lives and still be good friends. But girls, no, you can't be friends with a girl you want to marry. You'd want to keep her for yourself, make sure she's safe and fed and dressed and not jealous, let her win some arguments and apologize when you didn't do anything wrong.
It's not what he's ready to sign up for, just yet.
But it's not like he can pretend he didn't think of her differently; just remembering the way her male friends hang out too close to her bothered him, their pets and hands brushing her skin or tugging on her clothes in ways he was sure she wouldn't allow him to even when she pretended they were friends. To think that there are horny teenagers peeping on her in their all-seeing district when she least expects it, that there is someone out there who is a superior telling her what to do, that there are men on the street who whisper to themselves the things they'd like to do to her if given the chance.
It annoyed him that he didn't want to touch her that way, what kind of war veteran allows another to get that close? Someone who was a Hyuuga, someone who can put out chakra points like pinching the flame off a candle wick, to be allowed to put their hands on his vital points, or catch him with his guard down, or explore his orifices long enough to leave something behind.
Or maybe the concept of being touched kindly was too good to be true, after all he'd had one too many instances where a snake shoved itself down his throat or a pair of too-big hands pried his jaws open to burn a sealing tattoo to the roof of his mouth. People putting their hands on him ranked so low on his pleasure gauge it was a tie between being touched and the realistic simulation of dying from senbons to the neck.
It was counterproductive, wasn't it? Why would he be interested in a complicated girl who invaded his personal space and planted random things in the graveyard of his clan, and then not want to act up on that interest?
He was a boy, she was a girl, the least he could do is let himself revert to basic instinct, right?
It didn't make much sense, that much he knew, but maybe it wasn't supposed to be processed with common sense anyway. He's been so out of touch with the civilian world for so long that maybe this was what normal teenagers worried about in their commoner life; about girlfriends and smooth complexions and parents who told them to clean their rooms. Maybe this was something he was missing out on, an important life experience, unrequited love was something everyone had to go through at least once to learn from.
Maybe it was about time he tried to squeeze back into the uncomfortable confines of a civilian boy's body.
The threshold of his teenage years wasn't too far back, he'd only attained 'proper adult' status a couple of years ago, it isn't too late to catch up on some childish experiences the war stole from him, is it?
Hm, yes, that's alright. Even if it was troublesome, he can crush on whoever he liked and act as stupidly as needed, and then move on to the real perfect woman once it was over.
After all, it would be hard to admit to a future wife that the only romantic experiences he had to his name were accidental kisses with his best friend and a permanent lovebite courtesy of a middle-aged man in drag.
He needed to experience more normal things, for his future wife's sake.
"Yo." A girl greeted him from behind, the bright Hyuuga eyes were the first thing that drew his attention, but they were hard and cold. "Afternoon."
Sasuke turned to face her directly, it's been a while since he'd seen Hyuuga Hanabi, she'd grown taller a few inches and colder a few degrees. "What do you want?"
She puffed a stray hair off her nose and kept her shoulders slack. "How are you?"
Oh? What's this? "Is Yamanaka using her mind control thing again? We're too old for these games."
"It's not." She allowed herself a frustrated exhale. "I'm- look I'm trying to be nice, okay? I'm just gonna say hi and move along, but you gotta say hi, too, if it's gonna work out."
"Should I also get down on my knees and toss you a golden coin, your highness?" He made to search the sleeves and waistband of his kimono for spare change, amused by the livid expression on the girl's face. "Who put you up to this?"
Defeated, she finally let her hands fly in the air and exploded in rage, "Hinata thinks I'm stressing too much over you, alright? She thinks it's a good idea if I try to talk to you like a normal person and cleanse my spirit with forgiveness or something. She threatened to give me the silent treatment if I've made no progress by the time she comes back from her mission, so…"
"When does she come back from her mission?"
Hanabi looked away in shame, "Today… Actually, she's at the gates right now… Just say hi to me, okay? That way I won't be lying when I tell her I've talked to you and you talked back!"
"Hi." He said simply, fighting the tug of a smirk on the side of his mouth. It took the girl a few seconds of relief to notice that he hadn't been addressing her in the first place. "How was the mission?"
Hanabi looked back, hair flying everywhere, to Hinata who was walking down the road to greet them. The alarm in her eyes was hard to hide, thankfully Hinata was too far away to hear the hushed panic in her voice. "Don't tell her!"
"Maybe you should offer a golden coin and get on your knees."
"I mean it! Uchiha I swear-!"
"How about two coins, you're the elder's daughter aren't you? You can afford it."
"Not even spare change!" Hanabi stopped hissing and forced a smile on her face when he sister hugged her from behind. "Welcome back! I'm glad you're safe!"
"I'm back!" Hinata squeezed Hanabi tightly and then let go to brush back the hair that landed in her eyes. "I'm glad you're finally talking to each other again! Good afternoon, Sasuke kun!"
"Hn." He waited until the shorter one was finished making funny faces at him and motioned to the shrubbery behind him. "We were just saying how these flowers could fetch a coin or two in the market, how much don't you think?"
Unaware of the beads of sweat bulleting her sister's forehead, she answered with excitement. "Really? You think they'll sell? They're still very young, I doubt anyone needs so small a blossom. It needs at least three more months, I guess, but I'll give it anything you ask for. It smells really nice."
"You did this?"
The sudden displeasure in his voice was sobering, she put down the heavy bag and explained with an apologetic smile. "Yes, it was a few months ago when neither of you would wake up… I had them in a bouquette but- I didn't have the courage to see you or Hanabi at the hospital ssso I planted them here. You used to live here, right? Or near here, I think…"
"And you couldn't have planted your reject bouquet in your own house?"
Her mouth hung open in a quiet gasp, "It's- no! It's not that it was a reject bouquet! It's- those are Camelia flowers, you know?"
Annoyed that this was turning into an emotionally charged conversation, he spared the bland bushes a quick glance. "I don't care what they're named, they're on my property."
Hanabi mumbled when Hinata was too unsure of her willingness to answer. "Camelia flowers live for like forever and they're really hard to kill, you know. They're a thing people give to show they're waiting patiently for something or someone. She should've planted them on your social skills; I'm still waiting for that to blossom out. I'm gonna take your bag home with me okay, I'm glad you're back."
"Thank you…" it got really quiet now that Hanabi was walking away, her sandals shifted against the gravel looking for somewhere else to be, she hoping to get going as well but the conversation was not over.
He turned to look at the flowers in light of the new information, noticing how small and fragile the stems were, how soft and brittle the blossoms seemed to be under scrutiny. It did smell nice, like tea and wet dirt, or maybe that's the breeze carrying the girl's scent to his nose.
Hinata was two breaths away from excusing herself, but he spoke before she formed the words with her lips. "Why here?"
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not angry, I'm asking. Why plant them here and not in your house?"
It relieved her that he wasn't upset, and moved up to be by his side to observe the glossy leaves sway in the soft winter breeze. "It made sense at the time…"
She was hiding away the truth. "You're not gonna elaborate?"
The color in her cheek had little to do with the cold or the trek from the gates. "Well… I didn't want to believe you and Hanbi would be gone, she's my only sister, and you- well, you're the last of the Uchiha Clan, are you not? It was sad to think of it, and I wanted to make sure I prayed for your return every day. So I planted them here because I walked through this road on my way to the academy, and our house is full of similar flowers anyway. My mother liked them, you see, we have a big patch of them near her grave. I didn't want these to get lost in the ones planted for someone else… I'm sorry, it sounds silly when I say it out loud, I just really hoped it would help."
"They're just plants."
She blushed, uncomfortable. "I know, I'm sorry. You can remove them if you want, I won't intrude on you any further."
It sounded like she was finishing up to leave. She was tired, no doubt, and wanted to get the grime and sweat off her as soon as possible, but he didn't want to let her go, not yet. "Are they troublesome to take care of?"
"Eh? Camelia? Not particularly. I'd say you needed to water them regularly, but we're already in the rainy season and they're strong against the cold. Hmmm… I'm not an expert on planting them, but I think they're okay to be left alone until it's dry in summer, at least." She peeked up at his face, worried because he'd been keeping his expression in check the whole time. "I'm sorry if I trespassed, Sasuke kun, I know I've been doing it a lot lately… I'm- well, I really regret it when it's all said and done, so I'm sorry in advance, I'll try not to do it again."
"Sasuke." He repeated quietly, "Just call me Sasuke, all those honorifics are meaningless barriers anyway. We're friends, are we not?"
"O- oh… Okay."
"And Hinata: Don't apologize for stupid things." He plucked a small burr out of her fringe and flicked it aside. "What kind of mission were you on, anyway, rolling around in cow manure?"
She laughed and brushed several others out of her hair. "We were tracking a herd of deer, it was really windy in the land of Wind. Ouch! I should probably brush them out and shower! I must smell horrible!"
She smelled nice, but he wasn't about to linger on that thought when it could lead to visualizing her under running water. "Are you getting together with your gang tonight?"
"Yes, everyone will be there! Would you like to join us?"
He didn't want the others, but if he said that it would sound like a date and he didn't want to go on a date with anyone. Dates were stupid. "Maybe. Same restaurant?"
"Yes." She smiled wide, it was strange to see such a reaction when she'd never seemed particularly interested in his attendance before. "I can't wait! See you there!"
"Hm…"
Watching her small presence walk away with a cheerful step made it hard to believe that she could plant flowers and kill a human adult with the same fingertips, blush about intruding on someone's personal space when there are large bloodstains on her cape.
She was different, unexpected, it made their conversations more interesting and got his mind off other –more destructive- things.
Maybe this whole crush thing wasn't too bad after all, just by looking forward to seeing her again he was filled with energy that rivaled a revitalizing pill.
A revitalizing pill wouldn't have tasted as bitter.
Turned out her excitement was because Naruto was back and was joining them for the feast, it was great because now he had a good opportunity –and excuse- to beat the crap out of the late blond in a half-training half-punishment session of destruction.
Naruto apologized five times for not coming back right away when he heard the news of his recovery, Sasuke wouldn't have it, and Tsunade let them do whatever they wanted because she wasn't drunk enough to deal with their hormonal shenanigans.
He had to see the medic in the hospital afterwards, not as much for healing as it was for a much needed check-up. She hadn't seen him since he woke up those months ago, there was only so much her assistant could relay over pig mail. The moment the Sannin walked into the room she grabbed his chin and casually turned his head this way and that. "Why are you growing white hairs? Is it the new fad?"
It annoyed him that she could only function when her doe-eyed assistant was present, but perhaps that was for the best seeing as she reeked of alcohol and he was still pumped full of adrenaline and the desire for destruction. "You're the medic, you tell me."
"Huh, so it's happening on it's own…? Shizune told me your eyes bled occasionally, but not this."
"The eyes get better when it's not too bright."
Just when it looked like she would stop touching his face, a hand rested on his breastbone. Curious warmth seeped through the skin into scars that have long since healed, a quiet heartbeat resonated in his ears that wasn't in tune with his own. Red flickered in one of his eyes as he snatched the information of the jutsu, it would be useless as he wasn't good with medical techniques, but the part of him that still lusted for power couldn't skip the opportunity to acquire something new.
She leaned away and hummed her confusion with a finger on her chin. "Looks alright but I was hoping for better, your body's giving you signs of distress but you're not listening. Have you been eating well?"
"Your assistant interrogated me on that five minutes ago." He glared at the lady by the desk who was jotting down everything, he didn't like to be ignored and that's exactly what she was doing.
"Well I'm not my assistant, so answer them again."
"Better call Ibiki for an interrogation, then."
"Whatever. Are you sleeping well?"
He sucked a sharp breath through the teeth, the urge to tear the room to shreds was rising steadily. "Just fine."
"And food? Are you eating enough protein?"
"Yeah."
"You know what protein is, right? Beans and meat and nuts; white rice and instant noodles don't count."
"I know what protein is."
"Do you find yourself less interested in sex lately? Or maybe more?"
"Hokage sama…" Shizune half-laughed half-gasped.
"Cut me some slack. Everyone is doing it these days, and those who haven't must've learned all about it anyway. Did you forget Jiraiya's book about Naruto is an erotic novel? It's a best seller now, before you know it It'll be part of the academy curriculum, Hah! So, Uchiha, tell me?"
It wasn't that he was embarrassed about talking to the old lady about his love life, or lack thereof, but it wasn't something he'd announce to an audience. "Nothing's changed."
"What about your hobbies? Training. Are you still motivated the same as before? I know you're all about the dark and gloomy image, but if you're especially uninterested in even that, it could be a clue."
"Same." Although he'd acquired the bad habit of overanalyzing a particular person.
Her massive chest expanded as she released a heavy breath, the boy just didn't want to elaborate on anything, huh. "Did you pick up any bad habits lately? Leg shaking, biting nails, adopting homeless snakes."
"No."
"Nothing at all? At least tell me you punched someone in the nose or traumatized innocent children while I was gone." she didn't mind that he was glaring at her in annoyance, as long as she was getting any form of answer. "How do you deal with stress?"
Her pestering wasn't helping with the stress thing. "I don't think about it."
A startled expression swiped over her face before smoothing out into an understanding, albeit reprimanding knot of the brow. "You refused any kind of counseling when you first got here even though you, of all people, needed it the most. I let you skip not only because I knew you needed time to build up trust again, but because I didn't want you to barbeque my medics. Then the villages went up in arms because of the last skirmish and I had to leave. I may not be in a position to tell you what to do with your life, but if you're bottling everything without letting some steam, it's me who has to clean up when you finally pop. I'm not even worried about redecorating the mountain like what you did outside, I'm talking about human lives. Is that something I should worry about?"
"No one's dead yet."
"I mean it, kid. I may be the Hokage but if someone gets hurt it's not gonna be my order to take you out."
"I'm the last Uchiha in the world."
"They don't care."
"Fine." He didn't care about them either, the counsel can go to hell and come back with duck beaks for all he cared; it's not like had plans to stay here any longer than necessary, now that Naruto's back, he would keep to himself until he moved away.
Which he will do.
Eventually…
All he needed was to feel well enough for travel, and then it's the highroad to another land.
"Don't forget to take a break every once in a while, a soft-core addiction isn't too bad as a coping mechanism, either." Tsunade reminded him as he left the examination room, not knowing that he was walking out of the hospital straight to a crowded business district crawling with tipsy men and scantly clad women. Addictions of every kind were abundant in this part of town.
His eyes scanned the crowd in the restaurant twice, once because he found Hyuuga Hinata, the other because he was not supposed to be looking for Hyuuga Hinata. "Naruto." He found the boy at a crowded table of fans and friends who wanted to hear the stories of his adventures in the land of Rain.
"Hey, did grandma Tsunade fix your booboo?" the boy grinned so wide his eyes nearly disappeared. His own nose and lip were bruised, it's only a matter of hours before they heal completely thanks to the lingering aftereffects of a legendary beast still swirling within him.
"She said she'd pull my ear if I hit you again." Sasuke pulled a chair next to his friend and reached for a pair of chopsticks. "I've got two ears."
Naruto laughed, and for a moment it was like a lifetime ago that they've sat here, casually enjoying good food and refreshing drinks in the company of familiar faces.
It was something that looked, and tasted, a little bit like happiness.
And then the idiot had to go off and ruin it.
"Excuse me, everyone, I uhh I know I'm not Hokage yet, but I've got an announcement to make that's kinda as awesome as being Hokage." He scratched his head at the groans and laughs that interrupted the curious silence. "I proposed to Sakura a few hours ago and she said yes! Can you believe it?! I'm gonna get married! Ouch! I mean we're gonna get married!" the grinning boy rubbed away the pinch on his leg and accepted the ecstatic congratulatory bumps on the shoulder and happy-wishing handshakes and his bride-to-be's affectionate kiss.
"Congratulations." Sasuke said to the overwhelmed couple, Sakura looked genuinely surprised and happy at his well wishes, Naruto just went eheheheh and scratched his scalp. "But aren't you forgetting something?"
"Huh? What do you mean? I gave her a ring and all I just didn't wanna do it in front of a crowd so she wouldn't feel pressured to say yes!"
"I mean someone." He motioned his chin to the table next to them where Inuzuka, Hinata and a third girl he didn't recognize were seated. "Last I heard, you didn't give her a clear answer."
The boy's face fell, he whispered in quiet embarrassment, "Do I have to? I mean, it's obvious…"
"Tell her." Sasuke demanded, and slipped out of his char to clear the path.
"Yeesh, this is gonna be awkward…" Naruto adjusted his clothes, fixed the headband on his forehead, and walked up to the table to say in an unnecessarily loud voice. "Hinata chan, I know it's really late and I'm an idiot since I'm really bad at these things, but I uhhh… I'm sorry, I like someone else."
Hinata was as red as a ripe tomato for being under the focus of so many eyes. "It- It's okay- rreally. I wwish you happiness a- and umm have a good life together!"
He sighed, relieved. "Whoa, thanks! I'm sure we will be! You'll be happy too, I know it! You're a great person Hinata chan you'll find a great guy in no time!"
Cheers, drinks and spicy snacks for everyone!
Life went on, people ate and drank, girls gossiped, Sakura reprimanded Naruto for his uncouth public rejection.
Hinata was surprisingly okay with it, smiling and pouring drinks for her friends, her usually soft voice was louder in the chaos while she expressed how happy she was that her friends were finding happiness one after the other –first Ino, now Sakura- she was even saying how excited she was for a branch family member's arriving baby.
Did no one else notice how hard she was trying?
"Hyuuga." Sasuke didn't bother going back for food or drinks, he stood by her table and ignored the dirty looks her friends were giving him. "There's something I want to talk to you about."
"Huh? Is everything okay?" Her smile fell.
The Inuzuka was practically baring his teeth, ready for a biting comeback. Sasuke answered simply, "Yeah, it's about your sister, you're telling her to talk to me more often?"
She smiled again, too wide, too carefree. "Oh, yes! I hope she's not bothering you?"
He gestured to the door. "Let's talk outside, it's loud in here."
Inuzuka delayed her by asking if she was going to be okay, if she needed someone to go with her; the door finally closed behind her and she was alone.
Sasuke grabbed a random umbrella from the stand and held it over their heads as they walked a short distance to the riverbank, it was quiet enough to have a private conversation, but not secluded enough to raise any suspicions.
She wondered why he was so quiet after calling her out to talk. "Did Hanabi say something to you?"
"I don't care about that, you just looked like you needed some fresh air."
The river was really beautiful with all lantern lights reflecting on the surface and tiny raindrops making pretty ripples. "I'm okay, really!"
"Okay."
So ready she was to argue back that it surprised her how easily he accepted it, and then they were quiet because it was obvious that he didn't but wasn't about to interrogate her on it.
There was nothing left to say, she found she couldn't start talking about the weather or the food or Naruto, but she also didn't want to go back just yet. After a quiet five minutes that felt like a storm of sounds and images, her thoughts brought her back to the compelling surface of water and the warmth radiating against her side without actually touching her. "I knew it was going to be this way, y- you didn't have to make him say it… I mean, thank you! But it was really- I knew it wouldn't be me even if I've hoped… At least I tried, right? Hm…"
"Marry me."
The pain bubbling in her chest came to a screeching halt, the boy was serious but the proposal was so abrupt it was hard to not read more into it. "Why?"
He shrugged a shoulder. "Why not. Everybody else is going for it."
Her mouth hung open for a second, and then she smiled. "Are you trying to cheer me up?"
"…Yes."
Her eyes saw beyond the surface, but in this particular moment it was hard to tell if he was honest or not; maybe because she could barely see anything at all through the thick barrier of tears. "I'm sorry." She apologized to him, she apologized for her gloom, for allowing herself to cry on his chest, for showing weakness, and for folding under so little a pressure.
And she apologized for the love that never blossomed because she never fought to keep it.
"Silly princess." He said against the top of her head, it was then she realized that her face was making damp the lapel of his kimono, that one of his hands was uncertain and warm on her back. "Who are you apologizing to? No one can hear you in this rain."
She found herself smiling and pushing away, the tears wouldn't stop but she'd already intruded long enough. "Sorry. Thank you, Sasuke kun…"
"No problem, Hinata chan."
The endearment startled her into remembering his request earlier this afternoon. "Oh, Sasuke…"
"Hm?"
"No, nothing!" she laughed and cried and wiped her face on her sleeve, allowing his shoulder to accidentally brush hers until she felt stable enough to stand on her own. "I showed you something embarrassing…"
Rain rushed down suddenly and aggressively, the thick clap of thunder echoed deep in their chests like an imaginary punch to the gut. For a few loud seconds they amused themselves with watching the people on the street run for cover and vendors wring out their headbands and pant legs. She never addressed the tight grip he had on her shoulder to keep her within the safe boundary of their umbrella, he didn't seem to notice he was doing it. Once the torrent eased back to a light drizzle he released her and looked down at the flower-scented head. "I'll be sure to tell your sister all about it the next time we talk."
"Please don't do that!"
Snort. "Nah, she hates me. She only talked to me that one time because you gave her an ultimatum."
"She doesn't hate you…"
"I don't mind, or care, not really." Hanabi wasn't the Hyuuga he was trying to make sense of.
A genuine smile finally touched her lips, another strike of thunder startled her from what she was about to say, without realizing it she was all but hugging him again. "It was probably hard on her to see your frightening side after liking you for a while, so… She's just confused and maybe a little defensive."
"My frightening side? You mean what she saw inside a badly coordinated illusion? That's the emotional papercut she's trying so hard to overcome?"
"She's still a child." She said gently with a quick peek up at his thoughtful arch of the brow. "She doesn't know any better…"
"And you do? The golden girl of the wealthiest clan in the village whose life revolves around what color kimono to wear and how m"
"I know. My family duties have little to do with my regrets…"
It bothered him that she would interrupt him, "You don't know anything about regret! About losing family to this sad excuse of a village and then be expected to protect it!"
She waited for him to say more, but he didn't, not with that anguished face she was making. When he decided not to pursue the topic any further she glanced at the river, waiting –hoping- for another rush of rain or distracting bang. Her wishes were not granted, she had to speak her mind eventually. "My mother died a few weeks after childbirth because I wished upon a star for a sister. I'm at this age, it's a childish belief, but I still can't let it go…" Her voice barely reached outside the small width of the umbrella, the drops knocking on the plastic overhead were fat and loud. "My uncle was executed to retrieve me from a hostage situation. His son tried to assassinate me in public, and then hoped to sacrifice himself to win my fogiveness. I wanted to offer my life to protect the person I love but it was so little an offering that it didn't hold back the attacks, not even a little. I know what regret and sacrifice are, but I love her enough to protect a whole village if it meant saving her from going through it herself."
For a split second of lightening the image of his brother flashed before him, his blurry smile washed in tears and hands soiled with blood as he did exactly that.
For the first time since he'd met her, it occurred to him that she really was an older sister. That if things had been different, if she had been older, if she had been secretive enough, if her family was less politically involved with the council; she could have been in his brother's place.
Strangely, he didn't wish that upon anyone, his clan was gone, there was no use wishing it had been someone else's.
The cold edge of his sleeve was not as gentle on her face as he'd intended for it to be, it left her fringe in a mess and her lips and nose noticeably flushed. "Old bag said it's bad to always keep things in, you'll pop."
Hinata sputtered moist hair out of her mouth, holding back an embarrassed chuckle. "I don't pop."
"You should, it's liberating." And taking his own advice, he pressed a dry kiss to those raw lips and handed her the umbrella. "It's been a long day, I'm going home. If Naruto asks tell him we'll meet up tomorrow."
Hinata watched him walk out of the safety shelter of the umbrella and out into the soft drizzle, unbothered by the moisture washing down the stray hairs on the back of his head or the water sloshing through his sandals. Her tingling lips formed the letters 'goodnight' but her voice couldn't quite catch up.
This was also just him trying to cheer her up, right?
Right?
Sasuke nearly forgot about kissing Hinata for a whole three days.
Emphasis on nearly.
Okay maybe he tried to forget more often than having done any actual forgetting.
He tried to be too busy hanging out with Naruto and getting back in shape from dawn to dusk and it was starting to work out. Today he listened to the blond singing praises about his soon-to-be-wife so he gave him an earful about being a pushover which led to an all-out scuffle or what they'd rather call spar. Sometimes during their 'spar' he'd zone out for a split second, usually because of something as small as a subtle scent in the air or the illusion of someone calling his name –the dreaded reset button!- and bam Broken nose.
He said it was because he was recovering, because this was rehab, because he was taking it easy, because Naruto was an idiot.
It bothered him that it bothered him so much.
She didn't care, apparently. He saw her on the street, casually striking up conversation with the vegetable stand lady, or commenting on someone's nice scarf, she even let the Inuzuka dog lick her face into a soggy mess.
She didn't even look broken hearted over his friend's public rejection.
Not once did she look his way; he was so far away from her mind that she wouldn't even sense him staring. Some Hyuuga she made, he could be a stalker and she wouldn't know what hit her.
Hmph, too bad on that lost girlfriend potential.
"Oi, what's really buggin you?" Naruto asked after a long swig of water.
"Nothing." He accepted the bottle and drank the rest. "Too much of nothing, to be exact. I'm bored."
"Eeh? That's it? Come with me to the Rain then! That place is crawling with so many creepy dudes I can barely sleep at night!"
"So what, you're asking me to stay up and guard your sorry ass?"
"Yeah! You're bored anyway aren't you?" The boy laughed and dodged the empty bottle easily. "It's really bad there, you know… Kids with no homes or families, families with no kids, and the higher ups only care about elections and who gets to sit on the big chair. It's not even a comfortable chair, it squeaks and smells funky."
"So don't go back, let old bag take care of it."
He sighed and joined him on the ground to stretch his sore legs, there was a sizable hole in the ground but at least it was less destructive than their usual sparring sessions. "Grandma Tsunade might look hot with those giant knockers, but she's really old. I didn't think she'd make it through the war, you know. It's only a matter of time before these elections are over, and I'll be back here to help her with our own council reform. You've seen what it was like, those old guys can be scary when they play god."
"We're the ones who did the actual fighting, if you ask me."
"I know, right! So I want to hurry up and help the Rain find a good leader so it's one less thing to worry about when this village goes through it's own crap. Or I dunno, maybe I'm thinking this all wrong…"
Sasuke clapped the boy on the shoulder. "You're actually smarter than you let on, aren't you."
Naruto snickered and returned the violence twicefold. "You're smarter than me, I don't get it! Why won't you run for Hokage yourself? You'd be great at it!"
"It's not that it didn't occur to me, and in theory I'm sure I'll be better than you and those selfish old crones; but in practice I'm confidant I'll be too much for them to handle. If something isn't useful I'll throw it away, but in this village there's too many sentimental people, I'll never get anything done without stepping on toes. And it's not like you'll be the supreme leader, you know? There's votes and paperwork and people who are too comfortable where they are that they're willing to murder others to keep it that way. Have you read the Hyuuga history or the Nara archives?"
"Uhhh no… What's that gotta do with anything?"
Sasuke laid on his back in the mud and let the afternoon drizzle wash sweat and dirt off his face. "The Nara are geniuses by birth, but they're not allowed any jobs other than intelligence and deer herding. The politicians don't want someone outsmarting them so they clip the firefly's wings and pretend it's a cricket."
"I don't understand that anology… I thought the Aburame were the clan with the butterflies and wings." Naruto scratched his head. "The Hyuuga have wings, too?"
"No… The Hyuuga sacrificed more than their jobs… People were executed as pawns for politics whether the Hokage liked it or not. The Third didn't want what was planned for my clan to happen, but they went ahead anyway because they outvoted him. What's the use of assigning a new leader if everything he does can be outvoted by the same people?"
"If you become Hokage you can fire everyone!"
"I'll fire everyone alright, for seven days and nights."
"Uhhh! No! Not that kind of fire!"
"Pff, calm your pants I'm not gonna dirty my hands on those pruny slugs." His stroll through the archives had been illuminating, and to think that he'd copied the texts in those books himself without committing any of it to long-term memory. If Hinata hadn't mentioned the thing about her uncle he wouldn't have bothered looking back into them. "Hey… Why did you reject Hyuuga Hinata?"
Naruto choked on his own spit. "What the- the topic changed so quickly it gave me whiplash!" He rolled to his stomach and rubbed his face in exasperation. "I like her, you know, she's a great friend and I owe her my life! She saved me a bunch of times and I don't want like seeing her get hurt or know someone to hurt her feelings. But you know… I've never had sisters, and I'm not sure if that's what it would feel like, but it's that kind of like that she's really special and she always will be, but not as special as who you really like. It sounds weird, I know! Gah!"
"If Sakura said no, would you have married her instead?" Sasuke asked lightly, leaving the question to hang in the air for as long as his friend needed.
He didn't need too long. "I don't know, I'd be too devastated about Sakura chan that I probably wouldn't think about anything else…"
"You'd probably not take no for an answer anyway. I'm sure Sakura said yes to spare herself an annoying brat hiding around every corner until she did."
"Ahaha, true!" there was an insult there somewhere, he didn't linger long enough to find it. "What about you, do you like anyone? Should I plan a double wedding?"
"If it weren't for the fact that I was the very last of my clan, I wouldn't have thought about marriage or kids in the first place."
"Whoa, not so fast! Who said anything about marriage and kids! I just asked if you liked someone." The boy froze for an instant, having just realized what getting married entailed. "Oh crap… I'm gonna be a dad and make house rules and maybe one day I'm gonna be a granddad! Whoa wait hold on, I didn't think this through!"
"What else did you think it was, idiot?"
Naruto got up on his knees in his excitement, spraying dirt and water everywhere. "I dunno! At first it wasn't about kids or meeting the parents or anything married like that. I just didn't want Sakura to feel alone while I'm away! Who knows how long I'll be busy with Hokage stuff but I also don't want someone else to snatch her! And then it's because- well, I really really love her and I wanna show her and don't laugh at me for saying it: I wanna kiss her and hug her and wake up in the morning to hug her and kiss her some more! Having kids and being a granddad can wait, right? For now I just want to be happy with the girl I love! Getting married just means I don't have to worry about proving it to her every day!" He sucked in a nervous breath. "Don't laugh!"
"I'm not laughing."
"Why aren't you laughing? That's suspicious!"
"I'm not laughing!"
"Laugh! It pisses me off when you're laughing on the inside with that blank face!"
"I'm not laughing on the inside! Jeez! Stop being such a baby!"
The mountain shed another chunk of earth that morning, Sakura had to put on her big-girl gloves and knock it back in place before knocking some idiot boy's teeth in.
Naruto's point of view on the matter sparked his interest, so come afternoon, Sasuke found himself in the only bookstore in town browsing the romance novel isle.
There were love stories of all kinds, silly ones, overly dramatic ones, ones with betrayal and spy tactics and schoolchildren confessing in the school gymnasium.
This was very different from novels aimed at adults, was this what innocent girls grew up fantasizing about?
What did innocent boys grow up fantasizing about?
He asked the old shopkeeper for the boy's section, but the only ones there talked about future technology and killing the living dead and graduating ninja academy with flying colors.
Hn… Maybe if he had the time as a schoolboy he might have found these interesting, but now, after everything, the last thing he wanted to read was glorified violence.
Two chapters and a sore neck later, Sasuke lifted his head from the pink-covered publication at the person joining him in the narrow women's isle. Hyuuga Hinata was looking at the spines, but the stiffness in her shoulders told of her discomfort.
Was she always this good at pretend not to notice him?
He didn't want to talk to her, not now; not until he figured out what the hell he was supposed to be looking for in a girl.
Was he looking for anything at all?
After a moment of fake pretences, the girl turned and their eyes met in subtle surprise, it was obvious then that the reason she walked into this store in particular was because he was in it. "Hi."
"Hi." He didn't like awkward pauses or having to tiptoe around words with her. "So you finally decided to stop avoiding me?"
"No… Yes…" She stepped close enough to speak quietly, but stopped far enough to not get kissed again. "Thank you for trying to cheer me up, but I'd like it if you didn't surprise me like that again."
He shut the book with finality. "Great, that'll save me a lot of time I could've wasted on you."
Hinata winced so hard he might as well have hit her with the dictionary from the top shelf. "It was my first-!" She shot a nervous glance at the elderly shopkeeper who didn't seem to hear anything at all, and scanned the empty store with her byakugan for safe measures. "I don't understand why-!"
"What part do you not understand, the part where I like you or the part where I ask you to marry me?"
"B- But I thought you were just- I didn't think you were serious!"
A part of him wasn't, the little voice in the back of his head that was too proud to admit that she had every right to say no. "Not if you're so disgusted by the thought, no."
It was suddenly quiet, she didn't know what kind of answer this was supposed to be, or what kind of response he was waiting for, or how long she had to think before he got tired of waiting, or if someone was going to walk in and interrupt this tense conversation. "I still like someone else, you know that… Thank you very much, I'm honored, but…"
"Ok." He set the book aside, knowing that it would have been a good read had he not lost all interest in the subject.
He wanted to feel angry, insulted, disappointed, but all he felt was a big whopping bunch of nothing at all.
Maybe he wasn't cut out for this emotional stuff after all.
Hinata tried to do some damage control, it was almost cute how wide her eyes had become. "We can still be friends, right? I- I can still talk to you, right?"
"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but no."
"Ah…?"
He walked away, she caught his arm.
She let go as if electrocuted, he looked back as if her touch burned.
"Sorry!"
"What."
"Nothing!"
She hung her head for as long as he stood there, her hair hid her well, but the boy can see how frantically her chakra was buzzing in that small frame.
Why did she come find him if she wasn't comfortable in his company? It was a small kind of achievement now that he compared her action with her usual conduct; it must have taken her a few days of pumping herself up to finally do it. "Might as well buy something, I guess. Tell me what you read and liked."
Filled with newfound hope, Hinata turned to the classic novels and pulled out a few to show him. Her words made little sense when all he could hear is the tension in her vocal cords and all he could see was the stubborn drop clinging to her lower lash.
It burned beneath his fourth rib and to the left that he made that voice tremble, that he was the cause of those tears.
It's ridiculous, he was Uchiha Sasuke, he fought the world's strongest shinobi and won, he defeated the greatest beast known to man, he was the sole wielder of more than three exclusive means of combat, yet here he was standing in the women's books isle listening to novel recommendations from the girl who rejected him.
Liking someone shouldn't be this hard, should it?
If he liked her then he did, and it'll show, that was his policy.
Where the hell did it go wrong?
"Hyuuga." He glanced at the snoozing old man at the counter and took a step closer to her. "You don't have to try so hard. You can walk away."
She looked at him, and then at the regal woman on the cover of the book she had been praising. "Okay…" Her mouth curved for an apology, but she didn't breathe it out. Her hands clutching the book remained in the air for a few seconds, unsure if she wanted to put it back just yet. "I don't… want to walk away." The first few pages were fillers and forewords, she'd read it so many times that looking at the first paragraph was like seeing an old friend. "I don't know who else to talk to."
"The dog looked like a good listener, actually."
She finally smiled, but as brief as it had been, the crack in the mask was glaringly obvious. "I'm sorry, I won't keep you from your business. I'd recommend this one, I guess."
He didn't like that the book was named after a flower, tsubaki, or maybe that was the protagonist's name. Wasn't tsubaki the traditional name for the Camelia flower she planted in the rubble of his old house? Hn… Interesting. "Buy it for me." her confused face was priceless, "And I'll buy you a coffee or something, and you can tell me why this book is better than all the others."
She probably didn't know what kind of face she was making, but if he was the only one she showed it to, if he was the only one who could grab this drowning girl's hand and pull her to shore, he had no other choice but to do it.
After all, wasn't she the one who held his arm and walked him out of the darkness when nobody else would?