Darling Reviewers! The GOOD chapter, lol. Have fun reading, please leave a message.
Set about a week after their first lesson.
Getting tired of being a lone was something she had gotten used to over the past few years. It was something she had come to understand as being part of her fate. Not that she agreed with Neji completely on how fate described who you were going to be and dictated how you would become.
No, she didn't agree with that. She knew she could change, if she was strong enough for herself. But by all the god's she knew, she couldn't understand where that strength was supposed to come from.
It was an odd concept, one that she had dared not speak to anyone, ever. Neji did not know she thought of herself that way, as a matter of fact no one did, not even her best friends.
Only at night, while being alone in her room, speaking quietly to a picture of her mother would she ever really speak of what it was that had happened in the last few days and her true thoughts upon it, because mother didn't mind.
Mother had always said to be herself, and only herself.
"Hinata should be Hinata, and everyone else should do the same… It's the nature we all fight."
Sometimes during those nights she would sob, and scream and curse, but quietly. It was like an oxymoron. She was being herself while containing herself in a bubble so that others wouldn't notice.
Simply because being herself would make them flinch. No one wanted to know that the quiet one in the shadows stuttering through life could be more than just quiet and shy. No one wanted to know that she could be angry and spiteful and vicious.
And selfish.
It was one of those nights again. They came every few months, usually they came after something was happening and she had gotten tired of pretending it wasn't. It hadn't been a few months since her troubles with her father, Hanabi and her friends had begun. But the strain on her mind seemed enough to engulf her in that misery that made her explode.
Silently she sat by the window in her room, staring out to the moon and the way it's soft tendrils of light filtered through the curtains and lit up the simple chamber.
No one at home had spoken to her, as was usual. Neji had looked at her long and hard after she came back from training with Sasuke. She wouldn't be able to keep it hidden for long. Eventually he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to use his Byakugan to follow her to the training site and then there would be no choice but the beg that he didn't tell anyone.
Not that it mattered to her. She didn't think that there was any good reason not to let everyone know. But Sasuke seemed to think there was. She shivered, feeling that fist in her stomach clench, whispers of anger and frustration rolling around in her head.
Her suspicion was that the proud Uchiha heir did not want to have his flawless reputation tainted by the idea of being associated with someone as incapable as herself, despite his attempts to help her.
Though that left her confused as to why he would want to offer his services. It was pointless if he was ashamed of it.
Frowning she leaned her forehead against the window sill, hands clenching slowly. "…Okasan, I can't figure it out. Do you think he's using me for something? What could I possible be useful for?" her voice wavered for a moment as the words cut through her mind. It was a mutilation she had been addicted to for some time. Like others who brutally cut their flesh, she cut the only thing that would keep others from knowing. Herself, her very core. She cut it with words and thoughts. It felt less satisfying with each day, and yet she continued, a ritual of pain.
"I wish that I could just… get stronger, beat Hanabi so forcefully in the battle we'll be fighting that even the Elders will be forced to nod their self indulged heads in acknowledgement that I am heir… and then, just because they nodded, I would decline the title." Her hands clenched tighter as the words slipped through her lips, sounding heavily laden with anger.
A hot pain shot up her arm, and she looked down at the half moons her nails had caused, filling rapidly with blood.
"Damn it." She whimpered, sounding ironically like herself. The voice as Hinata's again, and yet the words were not.
For a moment her eyes filled with uncontainable tears, spilling down her face and falling onto her palm to mix with the bright blood, stinging as the wounds were washed with salty liquid.
Angrily she clenched her fist again, frustrated with her own pathetic mutilation. Without warning her fist slammed forcefully against the wall.
The moment her fist punched through it's shocking soft material she froze, staring at the debris on her covers, covering her pj's in dust.
Footsteps started from down the hall and she scrambled out of bed, tripping over herself, just catching her balance as the door flung open to reveal Neji and Hanabi, both looking startled and concerned.
"Hinata-hime!" Neji gasped, looking around the room and finding the hole expertly. "What happened?"
"I- ano… I don't…" Hinata stuttered, glancing back and forth between the whole and their confused startled eyes. "I didn't… I'm not sure…"
"Hinata.." Hanabi whimpered, her hands clenching by her sides. "Are you okay?"
"Yes! I'm fine! I just-" she began, startled as her younger sister walked over rapidly, reaching for her wrist.
Hinata snatched it away, surprising both the ninja. Her fist was hidden by her shirt's long sleeves and Hinata held it to her chest, flinching away from their concerned gazes.
"What is going on?" Neji whispered, walking over to the hole by her bedside, his eyes studying the penetration. He frowned, turning slowly to look at her, a new expression on his face.
Hinata grew pale at the expression.
It was…calculating.
"Since when are you capable of punching through walls?" Hanabi snapped, surprising her and snatching her hand roughly.
Hinata gasped, trying to pull away gently, but Hanabi's grip was stronger. Small fingers peeled back her sleeve to reveal a severely bruised fist.
"…Hinata-hime…" Neji whispered, staring at the damaged flesh. "What's the matter?"
"I was just… playing around with c-chakra." Hinata lied, watching their concerned expression fluxuate between surprise and disbelief. "I didn't think it would do that!"
"Are you training with Sakura-san?" Hanabi enquired, looking puzzled as she dropped her hand.
Hinata flinched at Neji's daring look. "No, I- well, I saw her and I thought-"
"Don't do it again." Neji sighed, nodding towards Hanabi to get out of the room. "You're not strong enough for that."
The moment the words were out of his mouth everyone froze. Hinata stared at him, mouth open slightly, words caught hanging in silence between them.
How dare you? How dare- why? Why would you tell me that?! Why does everyone-
"No! He didn't mean it like that!" Hanabi gasped, pushing past Neji to reach for Hinata's hand.
Her older sister flinched, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "No-stop." She murmured softly, her voice more steady than either of them had ever heard. Neji stood frozen by the doorway, uncertain as to what to do. Even an apology wouldn't fix the fact that he had said those words.
And worse, it wouldn't erase the fact that he believed them.
Slowly she turned to stare at the hole in the wall, and then back down at her wrist, and the damaged fist.
"I-I'm okay." She murmured, staring at the moon again through the window. "I need to sleep, g-goodnight."
Hanabi hesitated, looking worriedly between her cousin and her sister. Neji swallowed and stepped back into the hallway, turning around and walking silently away.
"…he really… didn't mean to-" Hanabi began, turning to look back at her sister.
"Stop it." Hinata whimpered, covering her face with her hands. "Gomen, Hanabi-chan, please… just let me…just let me be alone… okay?" she gasped between odd sobs of contained rage and pain.
It wasn't the moment to be hearing those words from someone she trusted. Not the moment at all…
Any other day she would have looked down shamefully and accepted it, but after hours of torturing herself, silently beating away at herself… hearing it from someone else's lips was like a dagger to her throat. It was taking all her restraint not to fall on the floor sobbing.
"H-hai… Hinata-chan." Hanabi murmured softly, looking pained. "All right." Sighing she turned and left, closing the door as quietly behind her as she could, only to stand still outside and stare at it, wondering just what her sister was doing within.
As soon as the door closed Hinata moved forward, not caring if someone out there could still hear. Roughly, more so than she had ever done she flung open the window feeling the blast of cold air burst in. The snow from a week ago had yet to melt, but she didn't care.
Rapidly she walked over to her closet; grabbing the first item of clothing and shoes there she began to dress, her hands shaking with the contained emotion. She couldn't even name it. From anger, to sadness, to self pity and a deep hunger to inflict damage to 'something', the range was huge and it didn't really matter.
What mattered was that she get out of there.
Dressed and shivering, but not from the cold she climbed onto the window sill, ignoring Hanabi's voice calling from the other side of the door. She paused for a moment before grabbing the picture of her mother and giving it a soft kiss.
"I'll be back, Okasan." She let it drop back onto her bed and jumped, falling two floors to land on the solid branch of a willow tree, looking up to see Hanabi's shocked face.
"Hinata! Wait!"
"I'll be back.' Hinata sighed, turning and jumping down from the tree, landing at a crouch on the ground. "Don't worry."
Biting her lip she took off at a run, using the wall surrounding the compound and a boulder by it to get over the fence in a few minutes.
Hanabi just sighed, running her hands through her hair worriedly. "Hinata-chan…"
"I don't even know why I come here." Sasuke grumbled, tipping the bottle of sake and watching it empty into his cup. "You're so annoying."
"Ya love me anyway, teme." Naruto grunted. He had indulged himself to a cup of sake as well, and just as Sasuke had expected the blonde couldn't hold his liquor. Pink cheeked and glittery eyed, the future Hokage was tittering in his seat, giggling too much and taking insults as if they were nothing.
"You know, there's a reason you don't drink." Sasuke muttered, a bit tipsy himself. It always annoyed him to hear reports of just how much he talked when he was a little drunk. His tongue would just loosen and he'd sound like a normal person.
Since when did Uchiha Sasuke sound like a normal person and feel proud of it? Certainly not right then, and never in the future.
Or that's what he always thought when he heard about it the next morning while struggling with a mild hangover. While drinking however, he didn't give a damn… mostly.
"So." Naruto began, making it sound like what he was going to say was a big deal. Sasuke made it a point to ignore him. Nothing that blonde said while sane, let alone drunk was a big deal. "What is going on with Hinata-chan, eh?" he grinned wolfishly, making Sasuke involuntarily look at him in surprise.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you two seem to be spendin' an awful lot of time together, ya know?"
"I'm training her, is all."
"Valentine's Day is coming up…" Naruto continued, as if hearing nothing he said. He elbowed the Avenger lightly, making sake spill all over his hands. "If you're not taking her, I thought I might ask her out, if you don't mind."
Sasuke stared at the blonde, an odd feeling starting at the base of his chest. "Come again?"
Naruto smirked. "She's cute as hell, ya know? But I'll back off if you've got dibs."
"You're drunk, I don't think you know what you're saying." Sasuke began, straining from sounding defensive.
"The hell." Naruto grumbled, leaning to put his chin on the counter, eyes half closed. "I've ignored her forever, 'cause I've been trying to get Sakura, but ya know what… Sakura's not all that."
"You're so drunk." Sasuke stated again, moving to stand and feeling the ground shake oddly under his feet he sat back down, frowning.
Just how much sake did I take?
"You're lucky. You coulda had both of them." Naruto continued, irritably. "Sakura's all over you all the time, and now Hinata-"
"She's not." Sasuke snapped, giving him a look of irritation. Just the idea that someone would think of her like that was irritating. She hadn't done anything of the sort.
"So I can ask her out then?" Naruto enquired, laying his head down on the counter to look at him.
"No." Sasuke replied smoothly, eyeing the empty sake bottle and wondering if he should ask for another one.
"No?" Naruto blinked, trying to process the answer, which he had evidently not been prepared for. "Why the hell not?"
"Uhh…" Sasuke began and then stopped, scolding himself mentally for using such a stupid sound lacking in all logic. It wasn't even a word, for crying out loud.
"You don't like her, do you?" Naruto started, sitting up and regretting it immediately because of the pain.
"No!" Sasuke snapped, feeling a headache coming on from thinking so much with so much sake in his system. "What the hell is this, and anbu interrogation?"
"Why can't I ask her out then?" Naruto grumped, rubbing between his brows in an effort to get the pain to fade.
"…she'll be distracted from her training." Sasuke finally managed to say, sounding a bit like he was lying despite the fact that it was the truth. Mostly.
"It's Valentine's Day- you're gonna train her on Valentine's Day?" Naruto enquired, finally opening his eyes despite the light. Sasuke stared at him. There was a reason why he was doing that, he was sure. But at that moment with the sake running through his veins he couldn't remember why.
Something to do with getting away though…
"Eh." He said and then hit his head in a rare show of frustration, for using yet another useless sound. "I have to go."
"You're so cold hearted, Valentine's Day is pretty much 'girl' day." Naruto called as the Uchiha managed to get to his feet and towards the door. "You should give her a break!"
"No." Sasuke replied, opening the door and getting a full slap of cold air across the face. Oh the walk home would be long.
"Why not?!"
"Cuz I bloody want her with me, do you care?" Sasuke finally snapped irritably. Naruto stared at him confusedly for a moment. "You want her with you?" he asked, blinking.
Sasuke sighed. "Dobe." He grumped, slamming the door closed on his way out.
He had intended on 'walking' home, but ended up stumbling there for the most part, and tripping. 'The' Uchiha Sasuke tripped. Albeit, he caught his balance and managed to keep walking, but still.
Uchiha Sasuke did not trip.
He was halfway home when he started to throw up by the bushes and he was a quarter of the way there when he reached the training area.
Even in his more than half drunk state he could recognize the sounds of fists against wood and cries of frustration. It was a familiar sound, one he had grown up listening to. It was the sounds he heard when his own frustration and anger became too much to handle and had to be expelled in some sort of physical way.
"What the-" he muttered, recognizing the voice but unable to think of who it was.
"Why? Why, goddamnit, why am I always-" Hinata cried, not crying anymore, just hitting the wood again and again, just like that one night…
Her weights were on, just as Sasuke had instructed, but they weren't the sand ones. As a result the movements were sloppy at the beginning of the night when she first started, but her anger was enough to fuel her tired muscles into being adequate, into breaking through the pain.
Sasuke climbed over the bush he had just puked by and stopped, looking down at the center of the training field where none other than Hinata Hyuuga stood, beating the crap out of one of the training posts.
He leaned for a moment against one of the nearby trees, breathing in an out tiredly. Every time he swore he'd never drink again. Every time he went back, and every time he went through hell.
"Such a loser." He grumbled, running a hand through his hair.
Hinata's sensitive ears heard the low tenor tones and froze, hands in position to strike. Faster than either of them had expected with the weights on she turned, flinging a kunai directly at the intoxicated Sasuke.
Shocked Sasuke stepped clumsily to the side, feeling the bite of the kunai against the flesh of his forearm. With a thump he fell back against the tree he had been leaning against, staring at the knife that had him pinned mainly by his shirt sleeve to the tree. There was blood seeping into the off white fabric. He stared at it dully, trying to grasp the situation before the girl, like all other fangirls, began screaming.
Surprising him again, Hinata ran up, looking wide eyed at the blood and his confused expression.
"G-Gomen!" she gasped, burying her face in her hands. "I am so s-sorry! I didn't know i-it was you!" she reached for the kunai rapidly but froze as Sasuke's hand snatched hers. "No, don't." he muttered sulkily, letting go of her before grabbing the thing himself and tearing it out of the bark.
He frowned, straining against the suction of the bark. Finally it pulled loose and he tossed it in the air, watching her catch it instinctively, moving still a bit clumsily, but not enough for anyone to know there were weights attached to her all over.
"What are you doing here?" he muttered, clenching his hand over the bleeding forearm.
Hinata ignored him, busying herself with undoing one of the bandages around her thigh, fingers shaking. "Here, l-let m-me…" she started, looking up at him to see him leaning against the tree eyes closed.
"Oh hell." He muttered.
"W-what's the m-matter-"
"I think I'm drunk." He admitted, the alchahol obviously talking for him. He almost laughed, almost.
"D-drunk?" Hinata blinked, walking towards him with the bandages in her hands. "W-well.. I-"
"You smell good…" Sasuke intended to 'think' that and accidentally said it. Hinata froze for a moment while wrapping the bandage around his bleeding arm.
"Uh…er..a-arigato…"
"What are you doing here?" He asked quickly, trying to get his brain to bloody work properly.
"T-training?"
"Like the time you passed out, huh?"
Hinata looked up at him, smelling quite clearly now the sake that surrounded the air he inhabited.
"A-are you going t-to be a-able to g-get home?"
"Hn." He grunted, trying not to think anymore. Forget his brain working properly, he needed sleep...
Hinata watched in a panic as he leaned back against the tree again to steady himself, closing his eyes against the brightness of the moon. God, it was like the sun all over again.
"Oh dear." She sighed, biting her lip and letting go of his bandaged forearm. "C-come on." She mumbled, hesitating for a second before taking his arm and pulling it over her shoulder.
"No, don't." he began, trying to get the words to come out without being too slurred.
If she helped him home there was the sickening chance that he'd throw up in front of her and somehow his pride was screaming that he could 'not' take that chance at all, for everyone's sake-
"Q-quiet." Hinata muttered, sounding not at all forceful despite her best intentions. It was cute, and in his state he couldn't help but smirk slightly in the dark, trying to hide behind his hair.
Damn cute women…
Hinata realized suddenly that she didn't actually know where Uchiha-san lived, and though she was supposedly leading it was good that he was the one taking steps and turning where she supposed they needed to turn.
It was the 'other' rich side of town, the one that the Hyuugas rarely wandered to. They had their domain on the left, the Uchiha's had ruled on the right and the normal people had always lived within the space between the two families.
Now, the balance was off, and somehow it made Hinata feel a little sad. Okasan had said that people didn't get drunk unless they had something they wanted to forget. She glanced up at the pitifully drunk boy hanging off her shoulder and sighed. He probably had a lot he wanted to forget.
"It's right there." Sasuke muttered, nodding towards the only dark mansion-looking place on the street. Hinata looked up at it, biting her lip. That place… looked lonely.
"Hai.' She murmured, leading him towards the gate and starting up the steps, frowning fitfully at his struggle with them. He had drank more than she had ever noted before. Or maybe she just hadn't realized he drank that much usually.
"The door is open." He mumbled when they got to the entrance. Hinata looked up for a moment at the pillars holding up the roof over the doorway and caught sight of the rolling clouds blocking out the moon.
"Rain?" she blinked. They had just began to see the snow melt and now rain was going to fall? The weather was being strange.
Silently she turned to the door and opened it, biting her lip with the strain. Despite his best attempts not to lean on her too much Sasuke was having trouble standing.
Just as they were stepping in the sound of thunder rolled, rippling through the silence like ripples in a pond.
Hinata closed the door with her foot, turning to look at the dark house. It was all dark wood marble and glass. She stared at it, feeling worry begin to gnaw at her stomach. How did Uchiha-san live like this…all alone in the darkness.
"I need to get to the bathroom." Sasuke said suddenly, too busy trying to keep from throwing up to care about his pride. Hinata nodded and followed his vaguely hurried steps to the washroom. He didn't even wait before leaning into the toilet.
Sighing deeply Hinata pushed his hair out of his face, rubbing his tense shoulders. It felt like when Hanabi had been ill with the flu and continued to throw up during the night. With no mother and no nanny Hinata had been left with the unsaid responsibility to care for her younger sister. Even Neji, being a man, had not bothered to get up at night when the youngster needed him the most.
"Oh hell." Sasuke sighed one he had finished. Hinata handed him one of the towels hanging from the rack beside him and he wiped his mouth, closing his eyes as he leaned against the cool wall.
"Come." Hinata murmured, reaching down to pull him to his feet. In his half drunk state he was easier to be around. It was less likely that she would do something clumsy enough to make her feel bad. After all, he was the one tripping over himself.
Without complaint he allowed her to pull him to his feet and followed as she led him to the living room, stopping when she realized she didn't know where to go.
"Where's y-your room?' she enquired, looking at his face hidden by strands of dark hair.
"Upstairs…"
"Let's stay here." Hinata muttered quickly, not wanting to deal with more steps. Quietly she lowered him onto one of the black couches, watching as he leaned back again, closing his eyes again.
"I'll be back." She sighed, rolling her sleeves up her arms. Without waiting for him to reply she moved off down one of the many hallways and ended up in the kitchen as expected. Call it woman intuition but a kitchen could never stay hidden from her for long. It wasn't long before she had water boiling for tea, for herself at least. He wasn't about to be allowed to eat or drink anything quite yet.
And if it was anything it would be coffee. Strong black coffee.
"Hinata?" she turned rapidly walking back to the living room and turning on as many lights as she could find. The place was pitch dark without them.
"What's the matter?" she enquired, and then turned off the light as he flung his hands over his eyes.
"Ah- gomen." She muttered, blushing just slightly.
"…can I have some water?"
Hinata blinked at his surprisingly humble question and then smiled. "Hai, just one second."
Upon returning however she found to her surprise that the Uchiha heir was already asleep. She stared at him for a moment, the cup of water in her hand and bit her lip.
"…he looks…cute." She blinked, rubbing her eyes slightly. I must be tired…
She put the cup down on the center table and went up the stairs to get some blankets and pillows.
The sound of thunder continued as she headed up the dark stairs and for a second she felt nervous, but then recalled how Uchiha-san didn't live with anyone… and hadn't since he had been quite young.
She could handle the dark for a few minutes.
It wasn't hard finding his room. Like any other vaguely depressed teenager he had chosen the last one in the row of doors with the biggest window, which was open showing a full blown view of the thunderous sky outside and the rain that had begun to pour sometime after she had stepped in.
"…how am I going to go home?" she whispered, putting a hand to her forehead tiredly. She would catch a cold for sure. It was freezing out there. She was surprised that the rain wasn't sleet.
Sighing she walked over to the bed and pulled the dark and very soft covers off, grabbing a few of the many pillows before heading out the door. She didn't want to intrude in his business so she didn't turn on the light. The less she saw the better, but from what she could see in the dark it looked like his room could have been any room in a hotel. Completely void of character, except for the fact that everything was dark blue and black.
Halfway down the stairs she realized that the oddly pleasant smell of soap and pine was coming from his blankets and, in a moment of self indulgence she buried her face in the soft material.
It almost made her laugh, the idea that Sasuke-kun smelled like soap.
Thankfully Sasuke was still fully knocked out and she could cover him without it being strange.
Fitting the pillow under his head was another matter. Biting her lip fitfully she struggled with it for a bit before realizing that the boy who was mostly a man, was so drunk that he wasn't feeling any of her touch anyway.
With a bit less care for waking him she put the pillow under his head, stopping to look a him sleeping silently, his chest rising and falling with tiredness.
The light of the moon was still the only one in the room as she dared not turn on the electric light for fear of waking him. It was bleaching his skin a pearly white and making his hair look dark as ink against it.
The chiseled features of his face were obvious and beautiful. She cocked her head, blushing furiously.
So that's why Sakura and Ino- stop.
She blinked, shaking her head to get the thoughts to go away. Biting her lip she turned and began to undo his shoes, pulling the muddy things off and walking off in the direction of the foyer, then to the bathroom to clean up the mess he had made.
She needed something to do anyway.