PAINFULLY PAINLESS

Chapter 31

Hinata found out a little later what Sasuke meant when he said goodbye. What he was really saying was "Goodbye, Hinata." Sakura, Naruto and the others he kept seeing. It was only her he avoided. There was a festival the night before Hanabi's birthday to celebrate all the returning teams who had succeeded in raising money for the village. As one of the contributing members Hinata was an honored guest, but she didn't want to go.

Training so hard for a week straight had done a number on her. She wanted to take Sasuke's old advice and rest before the duel. Hiashi didn't want her to go either, for he knew how important the next day was for her. He would have done everything but strap chains to her door if not for the Hokage, who had dropped by to personally extend their invitation.

That meant they all had to go. Neji didn't like parties, but even the lower branch had been invited. The Hokage, who wasn't exactly the biggest fan of the Hyuga cast system, sometimes went out of his way to do things like this. One of his most lovable quirks in Hinata's eyes. With Neji going she felt better.

Obaba-san dressed her in a lovely purple kimono. Butterfly ornaments adorned every part of her outfit, even her hair, and her face was powdered. Hanabi was dressed in the colors of a koi fish, which looked endearing on her young figure. Since it was a public affair it wasn't necessary for all of them to arrive at the same time, so Hinata found herself running a little early. She and Neji caught each other on the way to the square and went together.

Neji looked so handsome in his traditional wardrobe, but Hinata could sense that scowl hidden behind his Hyuga mask. She thought her giggle was too soft for him to hear, but he demanded to know what she was laughing at. "You look great, Nii-san," she said, blushing. "Very grown up." He turned away from her.

"Hm. You look lovely as well." It was the first time he had ever said anything like that to her. Surely he must have been lying. He did everything he could to avoid looking at her in it. "Try to have a good time, Hinata-sama," he said unexpectedly. "I don't know what happened, but you mustn't let it detract from your performance tomorrow."

"I know, Nii-san."

"I don't suppose you'd tell me what it is?"

"Nothing happened to me. I'm a bit anxious how things will turn out with Hana-chan. She is my little sister after all."

"So you say, but I can't help but think the Uchiha is at fault here." Hinata couldn't help her eyes from drifting down.

"I see," Neji said tightly, and cleared his throat. "If he's hurt you . . ."

"No, it's nothing like that," she assured him. "I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for him. He's done enough."

"A strange choice of words. I noticed he hasn't been looming recently. It almost makes me feel as if I don't need to watch you anymore. Almost." That confused her greatly.

"Huh?"

"We are here." In only a month Konoha had managed to repair the whole square. It was almost as if there had never been any attack. Even the ramen shop was sparkling clean, if not a little smaller. Bright lanterns hung on the corners of every roof and strung a trail throughout the market, highlighting shops and games of all kinds. People dressed formally and casually, laughing, playing, just as if it were any normal festival. The last time Hinata saw the market so lively was on New Year's Eve.

Tenten and Lee found Neji right away. Lee dressed as he always did, except he wore a jacket. Tenten looked cute in her simple pink kimono. "Didn't think you'd show up," she laughed. "Nice get-up. You should dress like this more often."

"Shut up," Neji sighed.

"You look beautiful, Hinata-chan," she said, chuckling. "Didn't even know that was you until I got a good look at ya."

"Thank you," she replied, blushing. "You look adorable as well."

"There's a new curry shop that opened this afternoon!" Lee exclaimed. "I challenge you to a contest, Neji Hyuga! Accept!" Neji rubbed his mouth briskly.

"I usually feel obligated to take on any challenge given to me, but I don't think I have a problem turning this one down." It was easy enough for Tenten and Lee to convince him to do it. They dragged him along, though he had asked Hinata if she needed his company. She easily declined. It delighted her to see Neji being so friendly—well, not friendly exactly. Wanted was the word. The three of them genuinely looked like friends, and that shocked her a little. There was no one in the Hyuga household he was so friendly with. Not even members of the lower branch who were closest to him in age.

When they were out of sight Hinata looked around. It startled her how abruptly alone she felt. No part of her resisted the urge to look for a flash of spiky raven hair in the colorful crowd. To stay the disappointment, she glanced down at her feet. Her cheeks were hot. Sasuke didn't like parties any more than Neji, only there was no one to make him go. There's no way he would be here . . .

A small white animal came to sniff at her ankles. It immediately broke her from her thoughts. "Akamaru?" She picked him up and he licked her chin. He turned his little whiskered face toward the crowd and barked. Kiba came dodging through with Shino gliding behind him.

"Ah, good job, Akamaru!" Kiba said, rubbing him between the ears. "I knew you'd find her."

"I guess dogs do have their uses," Shino remarked.

"Don't start with me, bug boy. Anyway, I'm surprised you came, Hinata. Man, do you look . . . different."

"Um, thank you? You two look . . . like you."

Shino chuckled. He dressed the same as usual, except his jacket was black. As for the glasses, Hinata suspected they might be glued to his face. For all of Kiba's wild tendencies, he did have the sense to change out of his regular outfit. Still, with all the fur linings and such it would have been hard to tell from a distance.

Hinata was grateful for their appearance. She traveled with them throughout the square, playing only a few games and buying little. As she did she realized just how little time she spent with her own team. She remembered Sakura telling Sasuke that he spent more time with her than his own team, and Hinata realized that maybe the same thing was true for her.

She knew so very little about Kiba and even less about Shino. Kiba loved to talk, but he never talked about himself. Everything she learned from them had come through combat training. Sasuke had been like that too . . .

Kami, when was she going to stop thinking about him? All of yesterday, all of this morning, and now she would be thinking of him all night. She wanted to take her nii-san's advice, but at this rate she knew she would be thinking about him all the way until her battle with Hanabi. That wasn't good. Just more proof of how inadequate an heir she was.

She looked up when she heard a couple of girls bickering. Of course it was Sakura and Ino. They were fighting over a fish pond, clacking nets and swiping hands. Naruto and Choji were slurping down ramen at the grand reopening of Ichiraku's—and making a contest out of it apparently. Kiba went to join them. Hinata would have liked to watch, but she dreaded the thought of running into Sasuke there.

Shino followed her to the mask shop. She bought a fox mask. Just to be a sport Shino purchased a grasshopper mask. They lingered a bit longer than the shopkeeper would have liked, and only because Shino couldn't resist dropping an entire lecture on the many breeds and mating patterns of Fire Country's grasshoppers. In the end Hinata suspected the shop keep regreted selling Shino that mask very much.

When they took a minute to sit down Shino finally decided to bring up something that wasn't about insects. "So, you're feeling down I take it?" There was a curious type of firefly crawling around his index finger.

"I'm actually having a good time," Hinata said. "Thank you."

"Is that the truth?"

"Y . . . yes."

"You've been training since we got back from Waterfall. Is it for anything in particular?"

"How did you know I've been training?"

"You have a slight limp in your walk, and I see the bruises around your eyes that you're trying to cover up with makeup. And you keep wincing in the light, so I imagine you must have a headache from straining your Byakugan too much." Hinata blushed profusely.

"Y-You can see all that? Is there some special ability you've been hiding from us?" Shino chuckled lowly. The firefly was circling around his thumb now.

"There's nothing special about observing my teammates. I know you like to hide things. That's why I was surprised you showed up tonight."

"I was surprised you came too, Shino-san."

"Indeed, but let's get back to you. I noticed the Uchiha hasn't been moonlighting at you recently. Did you two have a lovers quarrel?"

"Shino-san!"

"I'm not teasing you. I have no sense of humor, remember?" Sasuke wasn't a subject she wanted to get into. Instead she told him about the placement duel. Shino didn't interject once and asked no questions. Hinata only relayed what was relevant, meaning that she had no intention of delving into the entire Hyuga history. In the end Shino said, "So that's what's happening. You mentioned this only once a long time ago, and I was wondering when it would resurface. You should have told us. We would have trained with you."

"Well I didn't—"

"Want to get us wrapped up in your family affairs—I understand. I'm the same way. But the mark of the lower branch . . . it's a brand. Brands are not gently embedded." Hinata's brows drew together tightly.

"No. They aren't."

"You're thinking of losing on purpose, aren't you?"

"Huh?" Hinata was taken aback.

"You are. Not only do you not want to be heir, but you also don't want to hurt your younger sister."

"No, I—"

"But you think you can win."

"I . . . I am not the heir my father wants."

"What your father wants and what the clan needs might be two different things."

"I doubt the clan needs me."

"You dispelled the Shukaku's jutsu, didn't you? Even if your father didn't show it, he must have been shocked. Imagine what more you could do in the future. You doubt yourself too much."

This might have been longest conversation she had ever had with Shino. Even though it was all about her, Hinata was pleased to be learning all sorts of things about him as a result. Shino was insightful as he was considerate. It shamed her to only just be seeing these things for the first time. "Thank you, Shino-san. And thank you for the beetle. It really saved me."

"I'm not as considerate as you think," he said lightly. "I'm a realist. I only state facts."

"Um . . ." She folded her hands together. "If you could read minds, you'd tell me, right?" He chuckled a little louder.

"Not a chance."

Kiba and Naruto dropped in just then, both noticeably bloated under their jackets. "Hey there, Hinata-chan! I had no idea that was you. Wow, you look gorgeous!" Hinata smiled appreciatively.

"Thank you Naruto-kun."

"Hm," Kiba hummed, scratching the side of his head. He was looking at Hinata with a bit of confusion. "That's it? Just 'thank you'? Halfway expected you to pass out or sumthin.'" Naruto turned to him in alarm.

"Huh? Pass out? I-Is she sick? Are you sick, Hinata-chan?" Shino discreetly placed the firefly on Hinata's shoulder.

"You are a simpleton, Uzamaki Naruto," he said.

"Woah, Shino! Gah, were you there the whole time?"

"Just proving my point now. You should learn to stop while you're ahead."

"Well you have to get ahead in something first," Kiba laughed. Naruto flew into a rage.

"Okay, I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I know when somebody's making fun of me!" Kiba laughed loudly and Akamaru barked. He leaned in to Shino and Hinata.

"Lost to Choji in a ramen eating contest. Twice."

That just made him angrier. It was a good anger. Hinata enjoyed the boys' banter. It reminded her of the home she never had.

"Anyway . . ." Kiba yawned and stretched. "Where's Sakura-san? I thought you two came together?"

"Bah, she's with Sasuke-bastard." Naruto pouted. "I didn't even know he showed up, but I saw em' together earlier."

"Sasuke-kun came?" Hinata asked nervously. Naruto shrugged.

"Guess he did."

A pang of fear touched her. Before she knew what was happening she was on her feet. "I think I'll to go home," she announced quietly, and started away. Naruto jumped in front of her, waving his hands. "Hey hey, what're you talkin' about? The festival practically just started! You can't go home already."

"I have a big day tomorrow," she said without looking him in the eye. "I shouldn't have come in the first place, but father insisted."

"But there are going to be fireworks and everything!"

"Let her go if she wants to go," Shino said. He hadn't moved from his seat.

"That's so lame," Kiba said, and Akamaru barked in agreement. "You should at least stay for the fireworks. It's not often we get to see you all dressed up. I'd almost forgotten you were a girl."

Naruto put his hands on her shoulders, startling her. "Come on, Hinata-chan. Please stay? It's the first time we've seen each other since we got out of the hospital. I miss you. At least let me treat you to ramen or something . . . bah, I don't even know what you like to eat."

"Oh, well . . ." She was suddenly stricken by something.

"What do you like to eat, Hinata?"

"Cinammon rolls. I love cinnamon rolls."

"Anything is fine," she told Naruto.

They went together, just the two of them. Hinata used to imagine moments just like this. Strange how little she thought of Naruto anymore. Nii-san was right. She had changed.

They chose a takoyaki stand that was set up between a noodle shop and taiyaki booth. Naruto bought her both taiyaki and takoyaki, and sat next to her at one of the only free benches. He shoveled the Takoyaki into his mouth with a pair of chopsticks, hooting and wiping tears from his eyes. "Ow, hot hot hot! Ah, it's good though. Are you gonna eat yours?"

"I like for it cool down first," she said, smiling.

"That's not how you eat Takoyaki. Where's your sense of spirit, huh? Here, go on!" She couldn't say no. Reluctantly she popped one into her mouth and nearly choked. Tears welled in her eyes.

"Ah, it is hot . . ."

"All good things come at a price," Naruto laughed. Hinata swallowed as soon as she could, burning her throat a little. Delicious, but painful indeed. She held off on the next bite.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun," she said. "This is the first time we've ever eaten together."

"Yeah, we didn't get much to eat in the forest, did we?" He ate two more Takoyaki. "Except for all the fish you cooked. Ha ha, it was fun catching them. I think Sasuke beat me by two, but don't tell him I said that!"

She giggled. With the takoyaki cooled down a bit she felt better about eating at regular intervals. "I missed you too, Naruto-kun," she said. There was no blush in her cheeks. "I was relieved when I found out you weren't hurt."

"I still can't believe what happened with Gaara. Did you really take down his jutsu?"

"I, um, slapped him."

"For real?"

"It seemed like the only option."

"Eh, you coulda' punched him."

Hinata was so horrified by the idea she actually laughed. Naruto laughed with her.

"I'm so glad you made it out of that alive." Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "When he dragged you in I was sure that was that. Sasuke—man—I've never seen him like that before. He really cares about your safety. You know he almost clobbered me in the forest because I put you in danger? Haha. Sorry about that, by the way. But it shocked me. He's not even like that with Sakura-chan. I have no idea what she sees in him. He never even smiles."

"He smiles," Hinata said reflexively, and held a hand over her mouth.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"You know Hinata, it surprised me when I saw you tonight. Kiba's right. Not only are you a girl, but a super pretty one. I never noticed before. In fact, I always thought you were kinda weird." He ate the last octopus ball and started on his taiyaki.

Hinata didn't know whether to feel intensely happy or disappointed. "Thank you," she replied lamely.

"I never thanked you for standing up for me all those months ago." He put his taiyaki down, staring out over the market. Hinata blinked in surprise.

"You remember that?"

"Sure I do. I didn't always have friends, but you know that. It just occurred to me that you were the only one who was always nice to me. You never looked at me like I was trash. How come you never came to talk to me?"

"Oh, I don't know." She smiled fondly. "I think it's because I liked you too much."

"Huh?" Naruto rubbed his head again, this time in puzzlement. "That doesn't make sense."

"I know."

"Oh, well . . . heh. I like you too. No matter what happens, we'll always be friends, right?" There was a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

"I hope so," she said, and meant it. She really meant it.

"Oh look, it's Naruto and Hinata-chan." Sakura came strolling along with Sasuke at her side. Hinata's eyes immediately went to him, but she was beyond feeling shocked. There was a dead numbness in her, right in her chest. If someone were to put a fork through it, she felt as if it would sink in painlessly. He did not look at her at all.

"Hn," he said plainly.

"Hey guys!" Naruto lit up when he saw Sakura. "You look beautiful tonight, Sakura-chan." She gave him an exasperated look.

"Yeah yeah, thanks. You already said that. Anyway, this is a surprise. I didn't think you'd come, Hinata-chan."

"When did you start calling her chan?" Sasuke said tonelessly. Sakura shrugged.

"That's just what girls call each other. But you two look cute together."

"Huh?" Naruto jumped out of his seat. "Ah, no—we're just friends! Honest! Don't get the wrong idea! . . . What?"

Sasuke was glaring at him viciously from over Sakura's head. At Naruto's remark she looked up to see Sasuke's expression and frowned deeply. Sasuke said nothing, only ducked a hand inside his jacket and pulled something out. He drew his elbow back and flicked something too fast to see that bounced hard off of Naruto's forehead. He swore loudly. "What the heck did you do that for?" he yelled.

Hinata plucked it from her lap. A 500-yen coin. "Keep it," Sasuke mumbled. "Buy a cinnamon roll or something." He still wasn't looking at her.

For some reason she looked down at her outfit, feeling entirely self-conscious. It was the first time she had ever been dressed like this in front of him. Her cheeks bloomed red.

Naruto and Sakura were arguing, so they didn't notice. Actually, it was more like Sakura trying to hold Naruto back from attacking Sasuke, who was utterly disinterested. Hinata noticed a thin sheet of sweat along the bits of his brow that were visible. He absently scratched his neck through his collar, wincing. "Sasuke-kun, are you all right?" she had to ask. He turned to her belatedly. He offered a grin, but what she saw in his eyes startled the hell out of her. Wrenching misery.

"Mind your own business."

Hinata pulled her eyebrows together, looking away swiftly. She got up without saying anything to anyone and left. Naruto and Sakura didn't notice.

Sasuke continued to stare after her, seeing the strange glow of a pink firefly on her shoulder. Neither of them stayed for the fireworks.