Chapter 12

Hermione's point of view

The journal was on my desk, taunting me. I wanted to put some ink on the first page but I resisted. I wasn't going to entertain this joke, it wasn't funny. But somehow I felt myself grabbing a quill, opening the ink, and watching as the midnight blue ink splashed onto the page. Dread pooled in my stomach as one word appeared :

Thanks

I added another one but no more writing appeared. I heard Draco beginning to stir so I hastily spelled it into the drawer. No one would be able to access it without my permission. I don't know what it was about that diary but the words that I had read about danger wouldn't leave me be. In every spare moment I felt myself watching everyone around me- wondering if they were the danger the book was talking about.

Another thing that bugged me about this was it was too like Voldemort's Horcrux. I didn't trust it at all but I was ensnared and I knew that every day I would put a drop of ink onto that first page if it meant that I could ensure that me and Draco avoided any danger. I just want a peaceful life.

"Morning sleepy head, rise and shine." I gave him a quick kiss and then jumped up and picked up the tray of food I had gotten from the kitchens.

"Wow what a lovely thing to wake up to." Draco walked over to me and I felt my cheeks heating up when I noticed he was only wearing pants. Ignoring the food ,he put it on the side and dragged me towards the bed. Our lips locked and I pulled him closer until every part of me felt entwined with him. Like yesterday the kiss deepened, out tongues clashed and I felt my heart race excitedly. We fell onto the bed, a mash of limbs, and my hand roamed greedily over his soft velvety chiselled chest.

His hands slid down to my waist and began to play with the hem of my jumper. I felt his cold fingers swoop casually over the small of my back as he seemed to press me closer to him. I was straddling his waist when I felt his hands inch higher about to caress the curve of my...

"I'm hungry, aren't you hungry I mean really hungry and we don't want to waste the food. The house elves were so kind in preparing it for us we don't want to waste it." I had scrambled off the bed and had begun to stuff the food into my mouth when I noticed how quiet Draco was. He was watching me knowingly. The knowing look caused my blood to boil- not in a good way. In a I want to punch you way.

In that moment I felt so small and ashamed of my lack of experience that I just stormed out. It didn't matter that I was a virgin did it? Did Draco care? Did he still love me? I tried to banish his face from my mind but that look was burned into my brain.

I didn't notice when I rounded a corner and crashed into Blaise.

"Hey Hermione thanks for the letter, it means so much to me."

"It's all right." He took one look at me and dragged me into an alcove.

"Are you alright?" I didn't want to tell him but I also didn't want to lie to him. He wanted a friendship and I wanted it to and no long lasting friendship started with deceit.

"No, me and Draco were kissing when he tried to move it forward... and I just can't. It scares me... I mean I've never been with someone like... like that before and... do you think he will still like me if I'm a virgin." Blaise just burst into laughter. I felt my cheeks turning red with embarrassment- I hardly knew him and I was pouring my soul out to him, how pathetic. Blaise must have seen the self-loathing as he paused and looked at me more seriously.

"Oh Hermione, ever since you got married I could tell that Drake likes you. I mean he wouldn't stop going on and on about you, it was actually quite annoying. And he won't care that you've never been with anyone before, that doesn't matter to him. What matters is that you are happy and he won't push you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with doing. Just talk to him okay." I looked up at Blaise and saw that he was very sincere. I knew that what he said was all true, some small part of me was still scared but I didn't feel as upset as I had before.

"Thank you Blaise. I have a feeling that we will be very fast friends." Blaise smiled so wide that I swore it reached his ears, happily he pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear,

"Me too."

Draco's point of view

Things were heating up, I just needed to be closer to her. She was like a drug that I couldn't live without. My mind screamed at me to slow down but I couldn't. Then she pulled away and began rambling and stuffing food into her mouth. It hit me then that she had never done this before and I didn't even have time to apologise before she had disappeared. I pulled on my clothes hastily running to the portrait door but she was nowhere to be seen. I didn't want to run all around Hogwarts to find her, she clearly needed space. I headed back and sat on the sofa watching the portrait door and hoping it would open to reveal my Hermione.

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It seemed like forever before she walked in. Sheepishly she smiled and came and sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry Draco."

"No I'm sorry I shouldn't have pushed you."

"Do you still like me?"

"Of course I do. I love you Hermione more than you can ever know." I pulled her into my side, relishing the feeling at knowing we were okay.

"I love you too Draco."

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For the rest of the day we both did extra work. Hermione puzzling over a particularly difficult arithmancy puzzle and me finishing off a potions essay. I liked the silence, it was an easy silence, one where no one felt the need to fill it. It was very peaceful and I relished the thought of many more nights like this. I was so lucky that Hermione had chosen me, well chosen to forgive me. She didn't exactly get a choice in having to marry me but she seemed to be happy now; I hoped she was happy.

The fresh light of the day slowly moved into a beautiful evening glow. Amber highlights warmed the room and the fire magically lit and the room seemed to get toastier and toastier. I felt my eyes drooping and I looked over to Hermione but she wasn't there.

I slowly heaved myself up from the chair and headed up the steps. I found her gazing wistfully out over the lake on the window seat on the stairs. She didn't turn around she just held out her hand, once my hand was in hers she pulled me down beside her and snuggled into my side.

"I really do love you Draco, and I want to be with you in that way I'm just not sure that I'm ready yet."

"I'm going to stop you there, you don't need to explain yourself. I promise you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and I promise that I will never- ever- force you to do anything. Obviously, there is an expectation to have children... I just want you to feel ready. I wish we could take this whole process slower."

"Me too," she sighed wistfully and I kissed her head, inhaling her intoxicating scent. God I loved her so much.

A/N: Please review.