Chapter 9

The ride back to Malfoy's cottage goes by in a blink, Hermione's arms wrapped firmly around his middle and her faith firmly in his ability to deliver them safely.

They are back at his home only minutes when the Collingsworths deliver a jubilant Scorpius. He bounds from their truck with his usual bright smile and crashes into Hermione the moment he sees her. It surely hadn't been that long since she's seen him, but the weight of him in her arms and the tickle of his wild hair on her nose feels so familiar and comforting.

Malfoy receives an equally fervent embrace and Scorpius proceeds to regale them with all his adventures with his friend over the course of the afternoon. Did you know that he could hold four toads at one time!?

Hermione doesn't remember being invited for a meal with the Malfoy boys, or accepting said invitation, but she laughs through a simple pasta dish and two glasses of wine and soon she finds herself looking over the lavender field from Malfoy's back garden as he settles Scorpius in bed.

Distracted as she is listening to the evening song of the country, Hermione doesn't hear Malfoy approach and is startled by the sudden warmth at her side. He chuckles at her little jump, and offers her a tumbler of firewhisky with a smirk.

They sip their drinks to the melody of the crickets and goats as the blanket of stars twinkles above them.

"Why did you move here?" The question leaves her mouth before she can stop it, but she finds that she's curious about the answer.

Malfoy pulls a breath in through his nostrils, blowing it out with huff from his lips. "Scorpius was so small. He needed me. Needed my full attention. Needed a life not bogged down in expectation."

Hermione glances back toward the house where she knows that sweet boy is sleeping snuggled up with Ollie. She let's the companionship continue in silence for a few sips of her drink before finally plucking up the courage to ask. "Who is Scorpius's mother?"

A drop of whisky almost escapes as she catches him off guard, but he catches it with a flick of his tongue and the armor falls in place. "Astoria Greengrass."

She confirms that Astoria was, indeed, the younger sister of their classmate, Daphne, and finds herself curious about the young witch. "Will you tell me about her?"

There is a distance in his eyes as he considers her request. The liquid in his glass recedes as a slow sip passes his lips, and the moment seems to close in around them. As Hermione opens her mouth to dismiss her curiosity he whispers. "She had a beautiful smile." The haunted look in his eyes dims and a glint of light begins to glow as he continues, "She would sing Celestina Warbeck under her breath while she dressed in the mornings." A fond smile is on his lips now and he glances at Hermione to find a similar one on her face. Her own mother was constantly muttering her favorite tunes.

His gaze fades off into the distance. "Astoria wasn't tainted by the darkness of the War. She was shipped off to family in France while this country fell apart, and she finished school at Beauxbatons. She was… Light and peace, and just… Everything I wasn't and didn't have.

"I don't know what she saw in me, but she was such a sweet, forgiving person… I think she wanted to save me from myself." Draco leans onto the stone wall, his head falling into his hands. "And then we were married and then she was pregnant..." He shakes his head, whether to disagree with himself or suppress the memory she doesn't know.

"How did she die?"

The tension grows thicker, the question hangs in the night air, but after a deep breath he starts talking again. "When Scorpius was almost two months old, Astoria settled him for the night and came to bed." He looks at her with a wry little smile, "We lived in a small quarters on the Manor property… I couldn't live in that house anymore." Hermione nods, knowing that the forbidding house has been a feature in her nightmares and refuses to imagine what actually living with Voldemort might have been like. "She actually thanked me. Thanked me for making her a wife and mother. For letting her experience what it was like to know the love of a child." He looks at her again, but doesn't smile this time. "She kissed my cheek and went to sleep… And in the morning she was gone… Just like that… Gone."

She wants to reach out and touch him, rub a hand down his back, put her hand in his, hug him, but she stands silently as he continues. "It was a blood curse. Fulfilled by her bearing a child." Hermione's hand goes to her heart. "She knew. Knew what would happen to her. And I was so afraid to be a father, but she wasn't afraid to die to become a mother… Even just for a moment." Hermione does put her hand on him now. Her palm rests between his shoulder blades as his breath comes in deep gulps. She drags her hand side to side over the soft fabric of his shirt and slows her breathing, hoping that he will calm as well.

"You must have loved her very much."

His gaze doesn't waver from the moonlit field. "I didn't love his mother."

"What?" It comes out on a breath.

"I think she knew I didn't love her like a husband should love a wife." Hermione stands silently, watching Draco's tense shoulders rise and fall. "I respected her and held her in high regard...I think I could have loved her. I hardly knew her."

"Why did you marry someone you hardly knew?" Maybe it's an insensitive question, but her curiosity gets the better of her; she wants to understand who this changed Draco Malfoy is.

An infinitesimal shrug graces his shoulders. "Who else was going to be with me? So, when my mother suggested her as a suitable match, I was selfish and pursued it." Abruptly he stands to his full height, turning to face her, his eyes haunted and desperate, "I am responsible for her death." He jams his index finger into his chest. "So you see? I was a coward, too afraid to end up alone, and once again, I caused irreversible consequences for other people. The Greengrasses lost a daughter, Daphne lost her sister… Scorpius lost his mother."

"And you lost your wife." Tears burn her eyes, but she refuses to look away from him. "You're not a coward, Draco." He scoffs, but she's not deterred, "You dared to hope for love. Do you know what strength that takes? And look what you found: you are everything to that precious boy. He loves you more than anything in the world." A serene look settles into his eyes at the mention of his son; the vibrant, happy little human no doubt sleeping soundly with his adopted familiar by his side. "Love doesn't always find some of us." Her voice is a mere whisper as her arms wrap around her middle, protecting her from the deep sense of loneliness she feels even as she stands in the warm glow of Draco and Scorpius' home.

"Granger…" He reaches out for her and she pulls away.

"I have to go." Panic is coming fast and she stumbles over her feet as she gropes along the garden wall for the gate.

Wild curls stream behind her as she tears across the field, the smell of lavender choking her as she trips over the resinous stalks. "Hermione, wait… Please…" His voice trails off as she puts distance between herself and a life she's not sure she'll ever have.

The sanctum of her cottage feels cold and bare.

Hermione lets tears stream down her cheeks as she snatches up the overnight bag Draco had returned just that afternoon. The ancient, magical castle and oak shaded picnic from a few hours ago feel a lifetime away.

The Floo has not been lit in the heat of summer, but the flames blaze bright and green as she tosses in the Floo powder and spins away calling out Grimmauld Place.

I am anxious to hear what you think of this chapter! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/followed/favorited this story! Y'all are amazing!

Mcal! You're so precious! Thanks for everything!