Chapter 19

Draco's point of view

Our baby was still-born. The baby I had spoke for hours to was dead. How could you miss something you never had? It was weird, our rooms had been equipped for a baby and when Hermione was cleared we returned to a place that was too empty. There was no smelly nappies, no screams, no... no nothing.

Hermione naming the baby Jean was perfect, she had been so beautiful and would have lived an extraordinary life is she hadn't been taken so cruelly from us.

I got rid of the baby stuff, donating it to a newly pregnant couple. We wouldn't be trying for a while; Hermione's mental health just couldn't handle it and the ministry had given us a pass because technically we'd had a baby it just hadn't...

At first I could see nothing wrong with Hermione, she seemed to be functioning normally. That was until the first nightmare and she was inconsolable. She wouldn't stop screaming for Jean. It broke my heart every time a tear fell down her face. I thought she was okay, she hadn't even cried. Madam Pomfrey gave her sleeping potions that were authorised by McGonagall. She slept soundly from then on but it wasn't the same. She wouldn't hug me, wouldn't huddle into my side searching for warmth. She was like a log and she wouldn't let me touch her. Any brush of skin, any contact sent her cringing into herself. That was the worse, how could you comfort someone who didn't want to be consoled.

As a distraction she threw herself into her studies and when the exams came around she passed with flying colours, as did I. But it didn't feel so important when Hermione was a shell of herself. She refused to see Luna and Ginny, I understood. They glowed with the vitality of being new mothers. Hermione had lost her baby, we both had and we would always miss her.

I attended some therapy sessions and at a snails pace I became more accepting of Jean's death. I was angry and upset whenever I pictured her frail form in Hermione's arms but I needed to move past it. I couldn't let it consume me. And that was Hermione was doing.

XXXX

The move to a new flat- thanks to my Malfoy inheritance- was an unimportant affair. Hermione was just as much as a ghost in this flat as in our rooms at Hogwarts. She did nothing but watch TV all day. I tried to intervene but she was just so empty, she didn't have the strength to fight me any more. So I did what I could for her- I cooked her food which she dutifully ate, I washed her and tucked her into bed and gave her the sleeping potions that Madam Pomfrey had prescribed. Each day was the same, her condition made it impossible to leave her. I was so scared that she'd hurt herself if I wasn't watching her every move.

Then one day I found the notebook. I found my quill and dropped a splotch of ink onto its pages and began to write.

Krum,

You saved my wife once. Is it too much to ask you to save her again?

We had a daughter called Jean unfortunately she was still-born. I can't get through to Hermione and she won't talk to any of her friends. You have known each other for a while and she cannot connect you with this pregnancy.

I understand if you cannot come, you must have started living your own life. But you are my last hope.

Malfoy

I was surprised when I got an answer back within the hour.

Malfoy,

Thank you for contacting me. What's your address and I'll apparate right to you.

Krum

I did and then a minute later he was outside the apartments door. I showed him in to where Hermione was and left to go shopping. I needed to et some fresh air and they needed time to talk, well if there was any talking.

XXXX

I spent an hour walking around aimlessly and then when I stopped I looked at the shop.

It was a baby shop.

Fully of small clothes for the tiniest of humans. Happy couples shopped without a complain. They were happy and they could never understand the pain at losing a child before it had even lived.

"Are you okay sir?" A lady had stopped next to me, I wiped away the tear that had somehow made it's way down my face.

"My baby died." Something made me say it, I didn't know what it was. Maybe this need to bear my soul to someone other than my smarmy therapist.

"So did mine." I looked at her in shock.

"But you're..." I pointed to the baby bump.

"Yes I'm pregnant. I miss my first but you have to move on at some point and I knew that I wanted a child."

"My wife- It was recent and she's so... distant." She nodded sympathetically and a small shadow obscured her face.

"It's hard. You carry around a child, you feel it's pain and it'd every movement. You are so connected to the baby and when it's gone you just feel so empty and your mind, your heart, your soul can't deal with that loss." All I could do was listen as she told me that it would get better with time and that yes she would always stay with me but a new child could give you hope.

"What if it happens again?"

"Then it's god's will. You just have to stay strong and fight for the life you want. I wanted a baby so I let hope in and now I'm pregnant. I suppose I don't know what I'll do if this one dies but I can't think about that. I'm just taking it step by step."

"Thank you."

"Don't worry about it." She walked away her arms full of baby clothes. I stepped into the shop and also left with one small bag.

XXXX

When I got back to the flat Hermione looked like she had been crying but she seemed clearer than she had. Krum got up after giving her a hug. I shook his hand and whispered my thanks before he apparated. I don't know what he said but he had managed to break the flood gates that Hermione had built up like a fortress around her.

"Hermione we need to talk." We needed to. I'd had enough of being quiet, enough of treating her like she was glass. She was Hermione Granger- the brightest witch of her age- who had helped defeat the strongest wizard in history. She was strong, she could handle this. She had to be able to handle this.

"What's in the bag?" I gave it to her silently and she opened it, rustling the tissue paper gently. She pulled out the item that I had bought.

"Oh Draco." And for the first time in months she cried into my arms, letting me hold her in a way that was purely out of emotion and not out of routine. I hugged her back feeling the tiny white baby hat clutched tightly in her fist.

A/N: Thank you for everyone that has read this far, unfortunately this is the second to last chapter :( so I really hoped you enjoyed this fic and I just wanted to say thank you for all your support and your reviews.