DISCLAIMER: Seeing as I'm dressed in superman underwear and matching shirt and writing this from my snuggly bed I think we all know I am not in fact Ryan Murphy…or am I?
Ch2…
As the next stunning, young ingénue of the stage and perhaps screen Rachel Berry was proud of her ability to portray one emotion with her face and body whilst her mind would be reeling in a completely different direction. This ability failed her miserably that afternoon at Glee, she had sat bottom lip fallen her mouth forming a perfect o while Finn sang out his song which was so obviously directed at her. From beside her Jesse had been practically vibrating with anger, her arm had actually ached from his grip as he yanked her from the room and into the hall before the last note had even been sung.
"This isn't a very good example for the team captain to set Jesse, if I leave early other less dedicated members may take it as a cue to leave early also and then we will lose far too much time to ever be prepared enough for regionals."
Jesse's eyes darkened his mouth firmly set in a scowl,
"I wasn't going to sit there while some other guy tried to serenade my girlfriend! And in the wrong key!"
"He was in the right key!" Rachel countered her own mouth now curling into a scowl, she'd been Finn's tutor in learning the different notes and keys in his vocal repertoire, sure he'd been a little off on some of the notes but overall it had been very good. Jesse was just being petty and it wasn't a trait Rachel found attractive at all.
"That's what you chose to focus on in that sentence?"
His face was splotchy and red from yelling, she was so used to the calm Jesse that it actually scared her a little. Her dads didn't like him either, apparently moving to another school district in the middle of senior year for a girl is a little too stalker for their tastes no matter how romantic she tried to convince them it really was.
"Why are you acting like this? I'm with you, not Finn. Don't you trust me?"
Those four words are like a kiss of death to a relationship there is really no right way to answer that question and Jesse knew it and since he was screwed either way he did the stupid thing.
"No! You told me you were in love with that guy and now he's serenading you and you're getting all defensive!" Jesse breathed deeply trying to calm down. "Look I promised I wouldn't break your heart, I just don't want you to break mine."
Her heart swelled at his words but there was still a pang that seemed like it was calling to her to run the other way. She'd read about this of course, in her mind she knew that Jesse was the logical choice, they had so much in common and he treated her so well but…there was always a but. Finn was still there, permanently etched into her heart like the melody of a song that won't leave your mind. That voice in her head screaming his name would be silenced, she was with Jesse.
"I won't." She promised trailing a finger down his face with a sad smile.
"Don't go breaking my heart."
Rachel smiled in spite of herself, sometimes he could be such a chese ball.
"I couldn't if I tried." She sang back pretending not to hear the voice that told her he couldn't break her heart, because he wasn't in it.
"Honey if I get restless."
Jesse used his show choir face as he sang, the one that was like a maniacal smile like that creepy clown from It, damn Finn for making her watch that. She'd spent more than half the movie curled into his side watching the movie behind her fingers.
"Baby you're not that kind"Jesse frowned at her and she could almost her him barking at her to project, she plastered a smile much like his and tried to put her soul into the song.
"Don't go breaking my heart"
"You take the weight off of me"She couldn't help the giggle as Jesse expertly swung her around mimicking the twirl she had gushed about when they had watched Dirty Dancing, she'd cried for three straight days when he died.
"Honey when you knocked on my door"Jesse wiggled his eyebrows at her knowing quite well that just last weekend it had been he knocking on her door.
"I gave you my key"Rachel felt her stomach lurch; Finn held the lock and she held the key. Did she really want to give her all to Jesse?
"Nobody knows it"Their voices did blend together beautifully, but that was what she liked about Finn's voice, it wasn't classically beautiful or achieved through years of lessons. He sang for the pure joy of it, because the music meant something to him, something more important than trophies and ribbons.
"When I was down"Okay so it was pretty impressive that he could slide down the hall on his knees and stop at her feet.
"I was your clown"She was, especially with the aching smile on her face.
"Nobody knows it"
"Right from the start"He had been honest with her, since the beginning. There had been no mixed messages, rushed kisses or baby drama.
"I gave you my heart"Jesse narrowed his eyes at her and she cursed his training recalling exactly what he had said about her emotional depth during sectionals, apparently it was failing her now.
"I gave you my heart"Her voice actually cracked that time and she could feel the tingling sensation that meant that soon tears would be pooling in her eyes.
"So don't go breaking my heart"
He was pleading with her, he really did like her. This wasn't just some big ploy by Vocal Adrenaline to ensure their fourth championship; actually it was kind of arrogant for the small glee club to think they were even on Vocal Adrenaline's radar.
"I won't go breaking your heart"It was a promise, how could she break his heart? He didn't deserve for it to be broken, no one did. Not even Jacob Ben Israel.
"Don't go breaking my heart"By now they had reached the steps to the school which Jesse leaped down, no doubt a skill picked up from acting in Grease or West Side Story.
"And nobody told us"Not to be outdone Rachel slid down the handrail and hopped off carefully accepting Jesse's hand.
"'Cause nobody showed us"She had two gay dads and her knowledge of relationships based on personal experience and what she had seen in school and movies should really have prepared her for a life of heartache. She didn't want to be like Barbra at the end of The Way We Were, but she didn't want to live a lie, if it was one. She was so confused.
"And now it's up to us babe"
"I think we can make it"Her stomach coiled instantly and she mentally berated herself as her eyes crinkled showing her distaste of the words. She knew what a lie felt like and those words were.
"So don't misunderstand me"Ever the gentleman Jesse opened the door to his car and settled Rachel in kissing her nose.
"You put the light in my life" She sang into her lap.
"You put the spark to the flame"He raised her face, his eyes boring into her own for just a moment before he shut the door and slid across the bonnet.
"I've got your heart in my sights""Nobody knows it"Jesse gunned the engine and tore out of the parking lot driving much more recklessly than usual. Her fathers had given the careful driving speech to him on their first date. Papa had made sure that Jesse could see the shovel carefully propped up near the back door.
"When I was down"His knuckles were white from where he was gripping the steering wheel.
"I was your clown"
"Nobody knows it"The scenery blurred, from speed or the tears that had finally escaped she had no idea.
"Right from the start"
"I gave you my heart,
I gave you my heart"But she hadn't really, from the beginning when they had sung together and she had felt the first twist of betrayal in her gut. To the crushing pain when he transferred school, she liked him but maybe she liked the idea of him more.
"So don't go breaking my heart"Now the words sounded like a threat, the urgency with which he sang them scaring her.
"I won't go breaking your heart" Rachel sang back softly hoping her promise wasn't in vain.
"Don't go breaking my heart"
Rachel reacted first twisting her body so that she faced the side window the tears having already travelled down her face and soaked into her skin. Jesse pulled the car to a stop in front of her house, which she had never been so happy to see.
"I'll call you tonight."
Rachel nodded numbly clutching her bag to her tightly as she stood on the sidewalk. His car roared down the street and she watched it go. She had homework to finish, research to be done and dance and vocal exercises but she remained standing, staring out at the road but not really seeing. Songs mashed together in her mind, Finn's voice crying out so earnestly that afternoon, Jesse's pleas in the car and even Mr. Schuester. Express your feelings. As those three words repeated in her mind she finally began to move humming to herself, all those other things could wait, she had a my space video to make.
A big thanks to everyone who reviewed. How awesome was 'Bad Reputation'? Def one of my favourite episodes even if there was a distinct lack of Finchel =(