Standing Still - Chapter Nine
I'm sitting beside Ana and gently holding her hand, as Elliot reads aloud from a Jane Austen novel. I can tell from his voice that he's bored out of his mind but he keeps reading because like me he loves Ana.
We all made it a point that someone will always be with Ana so she doesn't wake up alone. Mia and Ethan come in the early hours of the morning which suits them as they are still getting over their jet lag. Grace and Carrick come most afternoon and Christian and Ray each morning. Although Christian comes and goes throughout the day. We have the evening shift which works well with are work schedules and my Mom helps out by looking after Ava for us.
Looking down absently at my watch I see that it's almost ten and know Christian will be here soon as he likes to say goodnight to Ana. Elliot must read my mind because he stops reading and marks the page my folding over the paper at the corner.
"Didn't bring a bookmark then," I mock.
"Sorry, next time I'll be more prepared. So do you think Christian will be early again."
"Definitely, unless something at home delays him. I know Teddy's been a bit of a handful."
"No wonder, it can't be easy for him."
"No, I was thinking maybe..."
My sentence is cut short by the feeling of pressure around my hand. I stare down and see Ana's hand loosely holding onto me. I snap my head up cricking my neck in the process and see Ana's blue eyes staring back at me.
"Ana, oh Ana can you hear me," I ask uncertainly.
Ana doesn't respond, instead her eyes move around the room then come to rest back on my face. I squeeze her hand lightly as Elliot dashes from the room, hopefully in search of a nurse or doctor.
"Ana, you were in an accident do you remember?"
Ana swallows then in a croaky voice manages to ask her first question. "Christian."
"Christian's on his way, he's at home with the children," I explain.
"Is he okay," she asks with difficulty.
"He will be now your awake, you really scared us."
"He was there, was he hurt?" Ana rasps.
"No, he wasn't in the accident Ana. He and Taylor were on their way to Japan."
Just then the doors open and Doctor Stephens followed by my husband rush through. He approaches Ana and starts asking questions while shining a pen light into her eyes checking for reactions.
"Its good to finally meet you Mrs Grey, how do you feel."
Ana looks at the doctor and tries to sit up but instead a mask of terror sinks onto her face.
"I can't move," she says panicky.
"Can you feel me holding your hand," I ask giving it another squeeze.
"I can feel you Kate but I can't move, oh God I can't move my legs either."
"Now Ana try to calm down and let me have a look," says the doctor.
"Go, call Christian," I tell Elliot wanting him to give Ana some privacy while the doctor examines her. He nods his head then walks outside into the corridor.
The doctor then pulls back the blankets and runs his fingers up Ana's legs. I hold her hand tighter and I feel Ana lightly squeeze back.
"Can you feel me touching your legs," he asks.
"No," sobs Ana.
Pulling a tissue from my purse I carefully wipe away her tears as I try my best to comfort my best friend. I watch the doctor then take out a sterilised needle from a small packet and then press it into her flesh.
Ana flinches as he pierces her skin and I feel her body move slightly on the bed.
"I felt that," she tells me and I smile letting her know that was a good thing.
The doctor pokes the needle up both her legs at different junctures and about 90 percent of the time Ana reacts normally to the pain.
"That's good, you did good. Now I just want to test your arm strength and touch sensitivity."
He then presses against her arms and hands testing her feeling. When Ana says she can feel him he forgoes the needle test and we both smile with relief.
"It's good you still have feeling in your arms and legs and in time I'm sure with physical therapy you will get some movement back."
"Some?" both Ana and I question.
"Possibly all but it's still early days and I'm sorry but you do have some spinal damage from the accident."
"Spinal damage, am I going to be paralysed?" asks Ana fearfully.
"I don't think so, but it's going to take time and a lot of work to get you walking again."
Ana flinches and I see the pallor in her face increase. "Are you okay, are you in any pain," I ask.
Ana nods then fixes her gaze towards her stomach.
"Is it your stomach, does it hurt."
"Lower," Ana explains.
"Ana you fractured your pelvis in the accident, is it around this point where it hurts," asks Doctor Stephens pointing to her pelvis.
"Yes can you stop the pain," Ana asks, a lone tear falling down her cheek.
I wipe it away and suddenly start re-enacting the scene from Terms of Endearment where Shirley MacLaine loses it.
"Please can you give her something," I demand.
"I can give you some Morphine but it may make you feel a little strange."
"Give it," I say.
"Ana, do you want to try that," asks the doctor ignoring me.
"Will it make me sleepy," she asks hesitantly.
"It probably will."
"Then I don't want it, not yet anyway. I have to stay awake for Christian."
"Ana, Christian will understand."
"I know he will, I just really want to see him."
I nod understandingly as the doctor prepares to leave. "When your ready get one of your friends to use the call button and we'll make you more comfortable."
"Okay, thank you," says Ana politely. I watch him leave then smile at Ana as we wait for Mr money bags to show.
"Are the children alright," asks Ana after a brief pause.
"They're perfect, even more so now that their mother has finally woken up."
"How long was I asleep for," Ana ponders.
"Four days and five nights, Christian's been climbing the walls."
"I bet, is everyone else alright," she asks cryptically.
"The whole family is fine, better now."
"No, I mean Matthew."
"Matthew?" I question not sure who she means.
"Matthew, you know Matthew Reynolds he was driving the car."
I'm silent, probably for the first time ever as I process what Ana just said. How do I tell her that he died in the crash, how do I tell her that Sawyers in a coma.
"He's okay, right," she asks timidly.
"Oh Ana, I'm so sorry but Mr Reynolds didn't survive the accident."
"What, no. It's my fault, it's all my fault," she sobs.
"Nothing is your fault Ana, you didn't cause the accident and you certainly aren't responsible for anybody's death."
"He was driving our car. If only I'd been driving then he would still be alive."
"Maybe but you wouldn't and I don't want to sound cold but I'd rather you live Ana. Think of Teddy and baby Phoebe, would you rather they grew up without their mother and think of Christian. I'm sorry but without you that man is pretty useless, he can barely breathe without you."
"I feel responsible."
"Well your not and the sooner you realise that the better. Things happen we can't always stop and assigning blame helps no one."
Ana nods noncommittally as the door suddenly bangs open making us both jump. We both look over and there standing in the doorway is Christian.