DISCLAIMER: I am not Ryan Murphy. I wish I had his brain.
Ch3…
She'd been in the shower for at least half an hour trying to get the cookie dough out of her hair, possibly she should have washed it out before sitting down to watch the movie, even now ruffling it with the towel to dry it she could still smell the sugar. No need to use perfume tonight. Mrs. Hudson had called her maybe ten minutes after Finn had departed, she was still a little teary from watching The Way We Were and the woman's gentle tone had sent her into full fledged tears; she'd always wanted a mum. Now she was faced with the task of packing for her stay at the Hudson home, she'd need an outfit for tomorrow, a back up outfit in case she was slushied, pyjamas, and underwear. She was still running back and forth in her room packing jewellery, make up and books for her bag that she failed to notice the knocking at her door or the foot steps up her stairs.
She was just racing back to her en suite to grab her hair curler when she caught sight of Finn leaning against her door jam; she let out a small scream and jumped slightly.
"Are you going to make a habit of just watching me?" She asked opening her closet door and surveying her outfits, she was very conscious of the fact she was only wearing her robe and underwear in front of him.
"I knocked but I guess you were distracted." He answered not moving. "I talked to Mr. Schue, he went off on everyone at practice, I thought that wiggly vein above his eye was going to burst."
Rachel stuck her head back out from behind her door raising one eyebrow.
"Mr. Schuester, Mr. Equality and Peace screamed at everyone? About what?"
She was just pulling her blue jumper with the gold bow on when he answered, she was certain she heard him wrong.
"What?"
"He yelled at everyone for not being more supportive then he refused to practice and he stormed out." Finn told her smiling slightly. "It was amazing, everyone looked so freaked out."
Taking a seat at her vanity Rachel bit back a groan. "Well that's just great now when I go to school tomorrow everyone is going to be fake nice to me because Mr. Schuester told them to."
"I don't know Rach everyone looked pretty shaken up, even guilty."
"Well it doesn't bother me, for the sake of the team I'll remain civil." She decided brushing her hair vigorously; hopefully Finn wouldn't notice the shake in her hand.
"Speaking of the team." He segued easily; it was obvious she didn't want to talk about that anymore. "Mr. Schue mentions he wants us to come up with some kind of theme song for the team. You had any ideas?"
"A few." She admitted. "I keep a journal of song lyrics, I like to organize them according to what they remind me of; couples, emotions. Like whenever I listen to Single Ladies I remember the whole football team dancing on the field. You can have a look if you want." She gestured to the notebook that was thick and puffy from things being pasted on the pages. Of course a gold star was stretched across the cover. "I just need to dry my hair."
The blare of the blow drier rendered conversation useless, Finn sat on the bed marvelling at how soft and comfy it was. Notebook resting against his knees he cracked it open to leave through, he couldn't help but laugh at Rachel's organisation; printed neatly in the corner of the cover was her name, phone number and address in case misplaced.
There were a lot of songs in here, some he'd heard of, some he was surprised she'd heard of and of course some he'd never heard of. He could easily see her notes under the lyrics naming things. Apparently Take A Bow reminded her of him. He frowned and quickly turned the page leafing through it quicker. He could tell when they had reached the Jesse pages by the small red heard next to the song title, on the last page was obviously something added recently, he'd guess yesterday judging by the dried tear marks. I Never Loved You Anyway.
"You find anything?" She asked appearing in the doorway hair dry and bouncy as usual. He flipped back a few pages ignoring the song he had been staring at and showed her the page he had noted earlier.
"This could work." He was nervous. "I've never heard it but I think the lyrics are what we are looking for at least."
"I have it on my iPod if you want to have a listen." She offered pointing to where it sat on its platform connected to speakers.
"Can you sing it?" He asked.
"Sure." She smiled nervously idly wondering if she should sit or stand or what. "Right now?"
"Yeah, unless you don't want to."
"No it's fine." Rachel assured him. "Just let me uh, finish getting ready."
The two sat in awkward silence while Rachel fussed with her shoes opting for the flats she'd worn at Sectionals and forgoing the socks all together, Jesse always said he liked her knee socks it was like they were tainted now. Breathing deeply she counted out the beat in her mind and closed her eyes singing softly at first.
"Hey what would you say if I can't play the hero tonight? "I've been fading in to the woodwork again
Because lately I've been feeling like
I can't get anything right"She opened her eyes when she felt Finn grab her hand and pull her to him practically sitting on his lap.
and I've been feeling like I just want to hide
well guess what?
I'm going to try something just a little bit different this time"
"I'm gonna give myself permission to shine
I'm gonna shine so bright
gonna make every heard wanna turn
you're finally gonna see me
give myself permission to shine
gonna light up the night
shine a little of my light on the world"
She could feel herself getting into the song, it was odd that he would pick this song out of all the others, she thought for sure he would think of some obscure eighties rock anthem.
"I've been crazy
I've been holding myself back for so long
but I've got so much I can give
don't wanna be afraid to be wrong"
A good singer would use her experiences to portray the emotions of the song; luckily she was chockfull of emotion tonight.
"You know I'm not too good at too many things
But I've been getting real good
at getting down on myself
well guess what?
I'm gonna try to break free from this prison I've built"This time she didn't need to nod at him Finn just joined in grasping her hand and staring at her.
"I'm gonna give myself permission to shine
I'm gonna shine so bright
gonna make every heard wanna turn
you're finally gonna see me
give myself permission to shine
gonna light up the night
shine a little of my light on the world
shine a little of my light on the world
shine a little of my light on the world"And now was where it started to kick up, breathing deeply she started to belt out the words, her neighbours could complain about the noise all they want.
"Oh that's right
I'm gonna try something just a little bit different this time
I'm gonna give myself permission to shine
I'm gonna shine so bright
gonna make every heard wanna turn
you're finally gonna see me
give myself permission to shine
gonna light up the night
shine a little of my light on the world"
Finn held back and just watched her immerse herself in the song, the music that played only in her mind. She had closed her eyes again and was dancing slowly around her room singing the song freely.
"Give myself permission to shine
I'm gonna light up the night
shine a little of my light on the world
shine a little of my light on the world
shine a little of my light on the world
Shine, shine, shine
shine a little of my light on the world
give myself permission to
shine, shine, shine"
She slowly came back down from her singing high, she was no longer on that stage lights shining on her but in her room sitting on her bed where there was an audience of one.
"I liked it." Finn said it was pretty much the first thing that came to mind.
"Thanks. We should keep looking though, we don't want to just pick the first thing we see." Standing up and brushing invisible lint from her skirt she pointed to the notebooks that lined her shelf. "We can take my other notebooks for inspiration if you like, that one is only current for the last three months.
"We can ask my mum too." Finn suggested grabbing the first five notebooks his hands touched. "She can't wait to meet you so we should probably hurry."
"Okay, let me just grab some of the cookies that actually made it into the oven to bring with me. It's impolite to show up at someone's house without something for the host." Rachel smiled at Finn.
"You don't have to do that." He protested reaching for her suitcase.
"I know but I want to." She told him kissing his cheek. "Thank you Finn."
Rachel was going to be staying with him, possibly in the same room. She would be showering where he showered with only a thin curtain and a door separating them. He didn't know if this would work out well but he couldn't see a scenario where it didn't.
Many apologies, I meant to post this two days ago but I had a crisis of the 9 year old's birthday party kind. Alas I am now fully stocked of pinantas, face paint and other items deemed necessary. Also how freaking awesome was the finale? Expect a new fic based around that episode…I think Finn and Rachel would have had a little something to say to Jesse/Vocal Adrenaline before they left.