Standing Still - Chapter Fifteen
I've been visiting with Ana for a little over an hour when suddenly she dissolves into tears. We were talking about what the children did today and I said how well behaved they had been when she just broke down.
"Oh Ana, sweetheart don't cry. Everything's going to be okay and you'll be home with them soon I 'm sure."
"I miss them," she sobs brokenly.
"Of course you do and they miss you. Try to think of this as just a little blip in your life, a setback but it won't blight all your blessings. You have a loving husband, two precious children and lots of wonderful friends and family."
"A blip," Ana questions.
"Yes just a blip."
"Teddy was a blip Gail, this is not a blip. It's probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me."
Her tears are falling thick and fast so carefully I settle on the bed and gently pull her into my open arms. She sinks into my embrace and I can see she's trying to hold onto me like I am holding her.
Frustrated her sobs only increase so I gently rock her as I stroke away her tears.
"I can't hold my children," she sobs in my arms.
"I can't wipe away my husbands tears when it gets too much for him, I feel so useless."
"Darling, you are not useless, you never could be. You're very important and everybody in your family has suffered from your absence. I can't say I know how you feel because I don't but please don't think you have nothing to give."
"What can I give?" Ana chokes out.
"Ana you give a great many things to so many people. A loving heart, compassionate to a fault, infinite patience, faithfulness and brave beyond your years."
"I don't feel brave."
"Well you are and the strongest person I have met with the possible exception on your husband."
"Christian is strong, maybe he can get through this."
"You both can, by being strong for each other."
Ana nods her head as she sinks further into my embrace. I feel her shudder then hear wince against me.
"Are you in pain Ana."
"It's not too bad," she responds.
"That didn't answer my question, Darling does it hurt."
Ana's silent then finally admits something to me that I doubt she's told anyone else.
"All the time," she sobs out.
"What?" I ask fearfully worried by what she means.
"It hurts all the time Gail. The pain medication helps but it never goes away completely."
"You're in pain, sweetheart why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I didn't want to scare Christian."
"Ana, this is information your doctors need to have. There could be a problem, where are you hurting," I question sternly.
"My back mostly but there's also pain in my pelvis. It waxes and wanes but the back pain is pretty constant."
"Oh Ana, you should have said something. I'm going to fetch someone to help, this can't be normal."
"NO," Ana shouts. "It's not too bad, it's okay really, I'm fine."
"No, I don't think you are."
"Please don't go I'm scared," Ana admits, finally being truthful.
"I'm scared too but this needs addressing. I'll be back in a minute, just hang on."
Ana says nothing else as I walk away, she just stares at be resignedly. As I close her door I dash towards the reception desk and ask for someone to see Ana.
A nurse about my age offers to come and together we walk back to Ana's room. On the way I explain what's going on and she sends a page to Ana's doctor.
"Hello, Mrs Grey your friend was telling me your is some pain," the nurse announces as we walk inside.
Ana only nods her head slightly as she looks fearfully towards me.
"I've paged Doctor Stephens to take a look at you honey," she says after Ana's lack of response.
"That's good right, then we can get to the bottom of this," I tell Ana. I'm trying to be optimistic but deep down I'm sure something serious is wrong. For Ana to be in constant pain even with medication, it surely can't be normal.
The nurse helps Ana to sit and then proceeds to prod around where Ana said she had pain. Poor Ana winces and calls out as she hits the spot in question.
"Don't please, it hurts," she protests and I have to force myself not to push the nurse away from her.
"Okay, honey," she says finally ceasing her ministrations.
I'm glad when the doctor walks into Ana's room but when he too starts pressing on her back it all gets too much and I demand he give Ana something for the pain.
"I want you to take you down to X-ray just to rule out any obvious problems first," the doctor explains. "Of course an MRI would produce a clearer picture of what going on but after your surgery I'm afraid it's no longer possible."
"What do you mean?" I ask hesitantly.
"The surgeons had to use a metal internal fixation to repair Mrs Grey's pelvic fracture and metal becomes unstable in an MRI because of the magnetic fields."
I nod my head but I'm not sure the information has gone in because I'm too busy thinking about Ana. She hasn't said a word since the doctor arrived and is now staring up at the ceiling.
After about ten minutes two porters arrive and carefully move Ana and her bed towards the door.
"Can I come with her," I ask.
"Sorry but hospital procedure doesn't allow it," the nurse explains.
I look at Ana sadly as she's whisked away then sit back down in my chair waiting for her return. I really should be calling Mr Grey to explain what's happening but for now I just wait and pray that it's nothing too serious.
Half an hour later the porters return wheeling Ana's bed back into place. Ana's laying flat on her back and her eyes are closed.
"Is everything alright," I ask as I see Doctor Stephens re-enter the room.
"The X-ray was clear, with nothing untoward on the film. The pain seems to be pretty localised so I've ordered some more tests. It could just be a result of the trauma but I'll no more when the tests come back."
"Is Ana okay," I ask seeing that she seems to be sleeping.
"Moving her for the X-ray caused Mrs Grey a lot of pain so I administered some strong pain relief. It's had a sedative affect on Ana so I expect she'll be asleep for a while."
"She's okay?" I ask again.
"She'll be fine, the nurse will be checking on her but it's perfectly normal to fall asleep after the drug she received."
"Okay."
"Now if you'll excuse me I have another patient to see," and before I can reply he's gone. I look at Ana's face and notice some tear tracks on her cheeks. She was in pain and was all alone, she's been in pain for twelve days. She waited and kept this to herself only slipping when she saw me. I should have come here sooner, maybe if I had her pain could have been prevented.