Transition Plan Chapter 85: Searching for Jeanne Part 3
Rated T for childbirth scene and late scene of mental anguish
…November-ish 1914…
At the same time of the kidnappers' arrest, Jane and Tarzan, Kala, Archimedes, and their children were beside an idyllic mountain lake, fed by natural springs and a rushing cool mountain stream, and surrounded by the dense green misty mountain peaks. It was the jungle pair's favorite of all the many beautiful places in the land of the Mangani, where they often bathed, swam, made love, relaxed, shared meals, pondered the world together, and played with their young family.
And today, it was the perfect venue that Jane chose to give birth.
For about a week prior to arriving at 'our lake' – as Lily called it - Jane could see the signs pointing to her delivery, so she asked Tarzan to bring them all here for couple of days, just playing with the family one last time before it doubled in size. It had been delightful, and for a little while took their worries away. Even Jack seemed a little less sad and quiet.
Her labor began in the morning after a wonderful family time of breakfast and playing and swimming together. The four always especially loved swimming naturally together. It was so invigorating and refreshing and they all felt so close when they swam. Archimedes examined the geology of the site while the family played, and Kala followed him, enjoying the old man get so excited just poking at rocks, but behind several large rock outcroppings she got more excited when he surprised her with some tender hugs. Jane knew she overdid it a little and that triggered her labor. Everyone in the family knew just what to do and so her labor started flawlessly, not too differently than with Lily, though that delivery happened in the master bedroom in Castle Greystoke.
Jane was seated comfortably as possible in a soft grassy area with her back reclined against a moss-covered rock with her knees up and bent and legs spread apart. She was in the final throes of her day-long labor, and despite the discipline achieved from previous childbirths, her painful contractions caused her to groan and occasionally even cry out, which filled the air around the lake. Jungle animal mothers always wondered why it hurt humans so much to have their offspring, and some of Jane's best animal female friends watched her progress anxiously, ready to help at the first sign of trouble.
Tarzan was positioned near Jane's shoulders, kneading and massaging her body's aches and cramps, gently talking to her and encouraging her like he'd done twice before to distract her pain, sponging her, and keeping her thirst slaked with the cool, pure water of the pond. The softness of his voice and words, coupled with his absolute confidence in her abilities as a mother carried her through her most difficult moments. She absolutely adored and trusted the man of her heart and all her dreams.
The children could see the deep love between their parents, as they often did. On days like this it was especially inspiring.
Kala was hunched over between Jane's legs making sure her body was prepared to deliver the coming babies. Jack was watching his mother's labor nearby but was mostly doing errands for his father and mother at their bidding to help her. He was nervous to see his mother in so much necessary pain and for a moment forgot his own pain. Lily was wide-eyed in awe, intently focused on what was going on with the many changes in her mother's body, kneeling next to her grandmother, and watching every move Kala made to help her mother deliver successfully. Lily was genuinely excited and totally fascinated for a girl so young.
It was Jane's time to deliver. Kala motioned for everyone to gather closely around Jane to witness the actual births. The children were in rapt attention. It was their own mother bringing new life into the world, not the animals in the jungle that surrounded them, which were so much a part of their daily lives in the jungle and made life for them so very much different for them than any other English children.
Soon, with some strong pushes and outright ear-shattering screams from their brave mother, two tiny new humans joined the Clayton family, one right after the other. Tarzan took hold of the first and Lily the second, as directed by some concentrated efforts by Kala. Jack just held his breath knowing that witnessing twins being born – his own siblings - was a once in a lifetime experience.
Jane was very anxious, a product of the stress and hormones of delivery, "My babies! I can't see them. Mother, Tarzan. Quick. Tell me! Are they OK? What are they? Please… I have to know."
"One of each dear," said Kala softly as she dabbed some torn skin in her birth canal with some natural herbs to promote her healing and waited for the afterbirth. It stung, and Jeanne winced a little, but she was ecstatic to have a boy and a girl.
The newborns were indeed fraternal twins, much to the great satisfaction of Jack and Lily, who each had wanted Jane to have a baby of their own gender. This way they both got what they wanted.
"See? I told you I wanted a baby sister, Jack," sticking her tongue out at her brother in mild teasing.
"Well, I got a little brother," Jack retorted and rolled his eyes, but as happy as he was, he was not overly anxious to hold the wet, squirmy newborns.
Jane was completely spent, but enjoyed the older children's teasing. They were both excited.
Nonetheless, when offered the chance, he enthusiastically cut his baby brother's umbilical cord while Tarzan held the new child, and Lily was beside herself in glee severing her little sister's cord with Kala's guidance. Both babies were almost ready to be given to their mother, but Kala cleaned and dried them off for their mother first. They both had very healthy-sounding cries.
While Kala was busy with her efforts, Lily did some important introductions, even though neither infant could understand. That didn't matter to Lily, and pointed purposefully to each new person in the babies' lives. Lily had a calming effect on her new siblings. They had heard her cute voice before, as she had often talked to both of them through her mother's abdomen. That delighted Lily and her mother just smiled for her.
"Hi there! I'm Lily, your big sister, and this is Jack, you big bruver! That's your daddy and your grandmother. Your grandfather is over there, and your mommy – and our mommy - is right behind you," she said sweetly to both babies, and kissed their cheeks.
The first twin to be born was named 'Paul', after Jeanne's American cousin, and the other was named 'Elisabeth', after Jane's lifetime attendant and guardian in London.
No human was a better midwife than Jane's mother-in-law, and the Countess was very grateful to the old ape, who gave expert, gentle care to her. Delivering the twins had no complication, much like Lily's delivery in England, and not as it had with Jack. Kala was an expert, patient teacher of her four year old human granddaughter, who acted much older.
With the new babies clean and cords securely tied off by Kala, Lily and Tarzan gingerly held the babies and carefully handed each one to their mother. Lily needed some assistance with baby Elisabeth by Kala, because it was hard for her to hold the tiny girl as well as support her head and neck. Lily wished she had a third hand and was grateful for her father's and gorilla grandmother's help.
"Oh my goodness," Jane smiled broadly, as she could now clearly see them, "Look at them. They're beautiful!"
"And loud!" Jack interjected, remarking on their combined crying.
Tarzan proudly stated, "We still make great looking babies, Jane, dear."
Jack and Lily didn't blush, but did roll their eyes at each other at their father's candor. They knew perfectly well how their parents and animal parents made babies and were frequent witnesses to that activity. Jack wondered if he would ever share this miracle of love and life with Jeanne, and it saddened him.
Kala added, "They're both in perfect health, Jane."
The baby's birthing wails were quickly quieted suckling against their mother's breasts, which made her smile.
"Oh Mother, it's because of you," Jane praised Kala.
Cradling her two newborns was the proudest moment of her life. The feeling of them both feeding simultaneously was exhilarating. All her pain was forgotten in the joy she now felt, and she smiled radiantly at Kala and Tarzan, despite being exhausted from the delivery. She could feel her breast milk drain. However, she was grateful that the Porter family tradition was for twins rather than triplets, and flashed a smile to her very pleased father who was now by her side too, wishing not to interfere earlier with the family bonding and Kala's important work. She never looked more beautiful to Archimedes, even disheveled, sweaty, and unkempt from her labor. He savored the sight of his brand new grandchildren at her breasts, surrounded by his first two grandchildren and Tarzan looking at her and the new babies in complete adoration and amazement. They were all completely silent as they just absorbed this very special moment together, hearing only the cute, soft noises of the newborns nursing. The simple beauty of the natural Mangani life had no equal to their former formal English ways.
Kala waited awhile before she replied, "Dear daughter Jane, I only helped you bring them both into this world. You carried them for nine months."
Kala and Jane's love for each other was so deep that they never thought of each other as unrelated, different species. They only ever thought of each other as mother and daughter. The human and gorilla females hugged each other tenderly as best Jane could from her reclined position, and Jane took Tarzan's hand gently, who could not wipe the wide grin off his face.
She caught and matched his look, and turned with their new babies still firmly attached to her and joked, "Do you like our litter, Jonathan? "
Tarzan answered, "Like them? I love them, Jane. And you too, dear. I'm so proud of you. Again!"
"And I love you, Jonathan," she said softly and leaned her weary head against his chest, "I am exhausted, dear. That was a lot harder than having just one."
She motioned for her older children to gather and join the group hug.
"I love both of you too," kissing her first two, "We have such a wonderful big family now. I am so proud of both of you. You were a huge help to me and the babies. But now, I need your help even more as their big brother and big sister."
Jack and Lily smiled at each other over their mother's praise. They did feel proud, and knew just how special their family was.
Jack and Lily were both happy for their mother, and hugged her lovingly.
Lily asked expectantly, "Can I call him 'Paulie'? And her 'Nizzie'?"
Everyone laughed heartily.
Jane ran her fingers through Lily's long brown hair, working out a tangle, and agreed, "Yes of course you can, dear."
Lily, now five, still had some pronunciation challenges but it was invariably cute. She had tried to say 'Lizzie', but the name 'Nizzie' would stick as the infant girl's nickname forever after today.
Lily was very proud to have helped her mother and grandmother with every step the delivery, and Tarzan was equally proud of his oldest daughter. The birthing process didn't scare the little girl a bit, nor did it make her squeamish, and she was instrumental in helping Kala's flawless midwifery of Jane's dual delivery. The little girl not only got the honor of cutting baby Elisabeth's cord but she insisted on helping her father carry and bury both afterbirths, something that Jack wanted no part of.
Packing the deep hole so no scavenger would dig them up, and sprinkling some harsh spices Kala told her to gather to over the hole to further deter any digging, she offered, "Daddy, I want to help birth babies, just like Grandma."
"You'll make a great midwife, Lily dear, as long as you keep learning from Grandmother Kala," he smiled, savoring the tight hug he got.
She was a beautiful child, and resembled her mother so much other than having her father's hair color. There were always newborn gorillas in the troop that would need midwife help. Lily promised Kala to be trusted to be on her own by age 10.
"Oh really?" the old gorilla scoffed, "We'll just see about that, dear granddaughter. I am not that anxious to be 'retired', as you humans put it."
All three generations of Mangani females laughed and hugged.
The excitement of the moment was over and there was little else the older children could do for now.
"Mommy can we go play now?" Lily asked anxiously.
Jane answered with a big smile to her oldest kids, "Sure... you both earned it."
They ran off to go swimming in the nearby lake again, with Lily hoisted high on Jack's shoulders. It was easy to hear the little girl's happy shrieks and laughter as Jack tossed her, jumped with her, and tickled her in their water game play. Those two were very close and it warmed Jane's heart, especially seeing her son happy for the first time in weeks.
The good news of Jane's latest offspring traveled fast via Jane's best animal friends. Noni was watching from a roost nearby and with a squawk and a wink from Jane, her bird friend flew swiftly about the jungle as the 'official' courier of the news of Jane's new hatchlings. She was humbled that Jane had asked her to be there for her and carry the news. Naima had watched everything too. She had really never seen a human birth and Jane had specifically invited her to be a witness to the twins. The caracal was deeply honored. All the animals capable of multiple births were ecstatic that Jane was 'one of their own kind' now. Naima departed after congratulating her best friend, but remained nearby. Should any predator be stupid enough to attack Jane's new twin kits, they would have to answer to Naima's wrath.
As Jack and Lily played in the pond, splashing each other mercilessly, Tarzan's head was reeling in many good ways and said to his wife in their private time together, "Twins, Jane. Oh my goodness. Twins…This is simply incredible… and you did it! Look at all the hair they have, dear. I think both are auburn like you."
Jane laughed, and was almost giddy seeing Tarzan's unbridled joy at the babies, "I know, dear. Isn't it wonderful? God's miracle for us. Well… Jonathan, you know that we couldn't decide which we'd rather have next, so I made you one of each!"
They both shared a hearty laugh.
"No one has a better sense of humor than you, Jane dear. Even when it's your toughest day. They are simply wonderful dear, just like you."
"Thank you, dear husband. And four time father now I might add…" she smiled proudly.
He grinned, but like his wife, knew the toughest part was yet ahead caring for them, "Well Jane, that task may be my biggest jungle challenge of all! You blessed us with four children. Such a future you've given Clan Clayton, especially when this all could have ended years ago."
There was a catch in his voice. She took his hand gently, squeezed it, and gave him a silent, tender smile.
Jack came running up breathlessly, still dripping wet from swimming, and had an equally happy – and equally soaked - Lily by the hand, for a rare moment of fun together. Jane noted that Lily was mostly happy because Jack was playing with her like old times, and holding her hand.
"Dad! We're both hungry. Having babies is hard work!"
"Tell me about it," Jane scoffed.
Tarzan, turned to his sweetheart, and asked, "Jane?"
She shooed them all away with a grin, "I'll be all right for now. You and the kids gather something for me after you're fed and I'll try to eat. I'm… uh… kind of busy here right now."
Neither newborn had let go of her, and amazingly she still had something left in reserve for them for their first meal. She hoped she could keep up with their needs, and had the amusing thought she wished she had multiple breasts like most of her animal friends for their litters. She laughed aloud knowing Tarzan would be just fine with that situation.
The family settled into a new routine at the pond for nearly a week while Jane recuperated from her labor, and Tarzan was proud to make the biggest nest for them he had ever constructed. Jane gushed in her praise of her husband. She had managed to gingerly get up and walk around to regain her strength, despite the soreness in her womb, and bathed the babies for the first time in the cool lake water with lots of help from everyone as she let Tarzan bathe and pamper her. It felt so good to her. Being in her thirties, she healed a little slower than with the other two, but over the next few days, with the help of the entire family, she regained her strength.
Soon, it was time for the family to return to the treehouse for Jane to thoroughly rest in a real bed, in more comfort, and to take care of the babies there in a little more civilized way for awhile before returning to the gorilla family nest. She and Tarzan promised that 'Paulie and Nizzie' would be no less Mangani than the rest of them. The older kids couldn't wait to teach them the ways of the jungle.
...
But there was a price. Returning to the family's treehouse, with its reminders of civilized human society, over the next few weeks, it caused Jack to withdraw again, and it was troubling to the rest of the family. Ever present in Jack's mind was the thought that he might never see Jeanne again. To even imagine Jeanne not being part of his family and not having the joy of a family with her made Jack sadder still.
Jane sensed Jack's withdrawal again, and called him to her side at the kitchen table one especially lonely night for him, where it seemed everything important happened with the family, while the babies slept in matching baskets made into portable cribs nearby. She put her arm around her son. She felt him visibly relax with her embrace. He was tense as a twisted tangle of vines. As a mother, she always knew her children's moods and changes. Because of the war, changes were happening in all of them faster than anyone imagined. Jane marveled at the taut, defined musculature of his entire body that was starting to resemble his father's, even at age 9. That long trip to Kamina had hardened him so much and he grew up a lot physically while he was gone. But there was damage with that growth. There was the long shoulder scar from the sniper's grazing gunshot and more scars from the cuts and abrasions from the falling debris during the destruction of the tower.
But there were many more scars in his mind and in his heart because of Jeanne's abduction, and those scars were actually more visible. While the pain of the physical scars was gone, the pain of the emotional scars would not go away.
"What's on your mind, Jack?"
Jack hesitated, "Mom… I shouldn't bother you. You just had the babies. I… I will just ruin everything for you. Everyone is all so… happy... again."
This was the kind considerate child Jack always was before the kidnapping, so often weighed down now by the burden of guilt and worry he carried.
Jane encouraged him to talk, "You have to tell me Jack. You can't keep this all bottled up inside."
He sighed, looked at the floor, and confessed, "Mom… you know. It's always there. The hurt."
Jane noted, "I do know Jack. I see it in your eyes all the time."
He was embarrassed that he was that transparent, but he asked, "Mom?"
"Yes Jack."
"You and Dad love each other. You've loved each other a long time. You've faced a lot of danger together. There's always danger the way we live. You both have to protect all of us all of the time. Now you have two more to protect. You and Dad still had us when it would be easier not to. Why?"
Jane explained, "Yes dear. We do face a lot of danger. The worst was being kidnapped and nearly killed the same day I found out I was pregnant with you. But I would do it all over again. Because life would be a lot emptier without you, and Lily, and Paulie and Nizzie."
His love for his mother could not be stronger, but even knowing that previously untold fact about his mother's own abduction was only a little comfort.
Jane continued her story to her eldest son, "Jack dear, every day we live is a risk. In England, there are fires, gas explosions, building collapses, train wrecks, crime, illnesses and diseases of a hundred different kinds. Here? Vicious predators, poisonous creatures, quicksand, rock falls, floods, drowning, and a million other things. No matter here or England and even when there isn't war we face risks every day. But we can't let the troubles in life paralyze us from living the way we want. Especially when there is so much to live for. Your father and I loved each other so much that we wanted to raise a family, to share our love with all of you. And by God's Grace, we had you four. Here I am - tired and sore from the twins - and I still want more children. Because in my heart the thing I want most in life is to be a wife to your father and a mother to you."
Jack was buoyed by his mother's advice, "I think I get it, Mom. Love grows when the family grows, doesn't it? I can love you Mother and still love Jeanne at the same time. But Mom, love hurts so much now that we're apart. Not knowing. Worrying every day. Carrying this… this awful thought that I caused her to be taken. And… and maybe even cause her to be killed… How can she love me for letting that happen to her?"
And then he completely fell apart. She held Jack as he shook with remorse. Her first baby needed her more than her new babies did.
She soothed him as best she could, "Please Jack. Don't think that way. I don't care what anyone has accused you of," she gritted her teeth, barely containing her leftover rage at Josephine and Armand's vicious insults at Jack weeks before, "You and Jeanne did this together and you accepted the risks because of your love for each other what could happen to you. Jack, you and Jeanne did this for the noblest of purposes: the love you have for your fathers. You wanted to save them, dear, from certain death. You did this because you love your families as much as you do each other."
She was actually making him feel better.
"Do you think...?" he could not say the words.
"That you and Jeanne will have a family together?" she suggested.
"Uh-huh…" he barely whispered.
Jane finished her answer to her son confidently with a smile, "Oh, yes, dear Jack. I do think you will. I think the ransom will be paid or if it isn't, you'll find her and be reunited someday. I… I just don't know when."
He still had so many regrets and sought her counsel, "But Mom, how do you withstand the pain of not knowing, and fretting and worrying about Dad all the time when he puts his life in danger? I can't get rid of that pain. Do you know how?"
It was time he knew the truth, and she recounted another story, "You know Jack, for years I carried that same pain. All the time. Just like you."
He was completely shocked, "Really. About what?"
It was really difficult for her to allow the long-buried pain to resurface, "My… my mother. I… I lost her when I was about 12."
Jack always knew Jane lost her mom at an early age, but they'd never talked about it before. It wasn't something a parent talked to a little boy about.
Jack sat up straight and looked at his mother, feeling an instant connection to her pain then, "That… that must have been horrible Mom. I can't imagine losing you. You're everything to me, Mom. You and Dad both."
He gave her an emotional hug and buried his head in the comfort of her bosom. She had a sudden flashback of him at her breast years ago as an infant, and as a younger boy with all the hugs from scraped knees, cuts and bruises, and the mental bruises of the cruel English children who made fun of his lifestyle. And now the disappearance of his soul mate.
"Oh to have that innocence back and spare him from all this," she thought desperately, her heart breaking over his pain. Tears fell from her eyes on to his strong shoulders.
"I had to be brave and strong, son. And had to concentrate on the good memories of my mother. Those memories carried me especially in all the hard times."
He looked up at her, "But those memories didn't bring your mother back."
She shrugged, "No, definitely not… but Daddy has always been there for me, even when it was hardest. Like he is now, Jack."
"I know, Mom. Thank you. But Grandpa's not your mother. No offense to Dad but he's not you, Mom."
Jack's sweet comment made her feelings soar, "Thank you, Jack, and yes I know, dear. I learned to be strong on my own, with Dad's support. But I wasn't alone. There was another. I had someone else, Jack, and you know her well. Elisabeth. She was a second mother to me. Even to this day. And like another grandmother to you kids."
Jeanne didn't realize she had gone down exactly the wrong path of comfort.
She felt him tense up and his indignation grow, "What are you saying Mother? I'm doing that. I'm learning to cope."
They both knew he wasn't, but those were strong words, more about intent than truth.
Jane tried to explain further that he needed to keep all his options open, "All I'm saying is that there is hope no matter what happens, Jack. You're young. You have so much life ahead of you. Jack… This is very hard for me to say, but if the worst happens, you must leave your heart open for another. Another who can…"
He interrupted her, pulled back from his mother, stood up with fists clenched and a scowl and shouted, "That won't happen. I don't want another. Jeanne's not dead! I will find her. No one is going to take Jeanne's place."
He stomped off to his room. He could hear more yells of, 'there will never be another', his door slammed, and then breaking down, she heard his sobs.
Jane buried her head in her hands, and cried, and felt like nothing she'd said mattered to Jack, just when it seemed she was getting through. By the time Lily and Tarzan came back with dinner, she had recovered. Jack came to dinner and ate, but said nothing the entire meal, then quickly disappeared back to his room. Lily already knew that during Jack's all-too-frequent quiet times, she should not interfere. She went to play quietly with her dollhouse and her Jeannie doll.
After dinner and alone at the table with Tarzan helping her clean up, he asked, "What's with Jack? He seems worse tonight."
"We're back to reality, Tarzan. A very harsh reality. I'm afraid my 'reassuring words' while you were out hunting with Lily were not so reassuring."
Tarzan asked, "You fought?"
Jane answered, "Yes. It was not good. Just when I was getting through, it… it all fell apart. His defenses are all up again. He's so easily hurt."
"What else can we do, dear? Whatever I say or do doesn't seem to reach him either," Tarzan lamented.
Jane was without any ideas, "I don't know, Jonathan, I really don't. Our Jack is gone. Jack may be here every day physically, but those men kidnapped everything inside our real Jack just as surely as they took Jeanne."
Tarzan felt a heavy weight with that statement, and could only say, "You're right…"
Her eyes became hardened but grew more compassionate as she spoke, "I can't forgive Armand and Josephine for the anguish they caused him. That didn't help this situation at all. Our boy is totally crushed. They were cruel, Jonathan. Sure they have every right to be extremely upset about this. Had the situation been reversed, of course it would hurt me terribly, but I think we'd all be together as two families united, trying to spend every minute to find him right now. I don't understand Josephine pushing us away at all… just when I thought we were friends."
She started to tear up again and Tarzan put his arm around her, saying, "And that's why I love you so much. Because you are not, and never will be like other women."
"Thank you," she whispered and gave him just a hint of a smile.
They looked at each other seriously.
Tarzan was very perplexed, "I'm worried about Jack, Jane. He's in a spiral. A bad one. If you can't reach him, I don't know what to do next."
Jane answered, "He knows we still have each other. But we've never been where Jack is, dear. I was only kidnapped a short time. We don't know what he thinks. Not even my mother's loss…" she choked, "…was quite like this. She was gone forever, but he knows Jeanne is out there somewhere and he cannot reach her. And suffering every day at the hands of these awful men."
"I know, Jane. It was just like that for me when you were kidnapped. Trust me, Jane, you helped him today, even if only a little. Just keep praying, dear, that we'll have the right words to say when he needs us the most."
"I never stop praying, Jonathan," Jane stated with deep anguish.
As they comforted each other, the sleeping twins awoke and started to whimper. Their dinner was overdue. The pair broke their embrace. It was back to 'Mommy and Daddy' time.
"There's never a dull moment in the Clayton household," she shook her head with a smile.
Tarzan joked, "The danger of having a big family! You go sit in your comfortable chair. I'll get them and bring them to you."
Tarzan was very dedicated to helping Jane with the babies just like he had with others. He worked very hard all the time and saved her countless hours of extra work and she could rest or sleep longer as a result. She was very proud of him, maybe even more so now with the twins than the other two. He was a very experienced father. He deserved a special 'thank you'.
Tarzan was not expecting what happened next.
Jane got a sultry smile on her face, matched by that half-lidded tender look for him when she meant 'business', and for emphasis pointed her milk-engorged breasts right at her husband with both babies in his arms, "You just want an excuse to stare at my breasts, ape man. Again. I should have thought about that when we had twins."
They laughed knowing full well having twins was not a choice they could make. He had some inkling of where this was going. It had been a month since their last relations.
"Who? Me?" Tarzan answered not so innocently.
"Tonight, dear, when our babies are asleep again – all four of them - no matter how late, we can be together again," she promised, "I'm all healed now."
Taking one baby from him - Paul - and placing the little boy at her breast, she took Tarzan's only free hand and placed it between her legs for a moment to let him explore her.
"See?"
Tarzan's eyes grew wide and one of his broadest smiles ever. His face flushed with anticipated desire, and he stammered, "I... I see!"
…
The next morning after the pair reveled in the afterglow of the night before, Terk and her girls came to the expanded treehouse nursery to help Tarzan and Jane with the babies just at the right time - the four-time mother was more worn out than she expected because of the double workload and she was simply older. Terk could also tell just from their looks they had returned to sexual relations and was happy for them. The babies responded to Terk and Jana and her sister Ugo instantly, although Jana was there more to comfort Jack's anguish at her mother's direction. At first Jana tried unsuccessfully to coax Jack to play with her. She witnessed firsthand Jack's deepening withdrawal. The boy resisted Jana, but acquiesced, and played with his longtime friend and cousin, though not as enthusiastically and carefree as in the past.
In a private moment with Terk at the end of the day of play, Jana confided, "Mom. Jack's different. He's quiet and sad all the time. Nothing seems fun to him. I had to threaten to hit him if he didn't play. I think he would have let me. This is not Jack."
Terk advised, "Honey, you would be too. Jeanne's been stolen from him by outlanders and they are keeping her from coming home. It was like when our family was put in cages long ago by other bad men. How would you feel if Jack was taken prisoner by the hyenas?"
"Like Jack does."
"Exactly."
"I'm going to keep trying to reach him. I want my cousin Jack back. The way he was."
Terk reassured her, "That's all we can do Jana. Let him know everyone around him still loves him."
Jana inquired, "Why do outlander humans hate their own kind so much, Mom? War. Kidnapping. Stealing. Fighting. Killing. I don't understand any of it."
"Jana, those big brains give them too many thoughts to think about themselves and what they want, not what they should be thinking about – giving to family and friends."
"I'm glad we're gorillas, Mom. I can't think the way humans do. And I don't want to."
"Me too, squirt."
…Kutonu, Dahomey Atlantic coastal city. French Forces African Campaign Headquarters…
Armand and several French Intelligence Corps specialists monitored the airwaves constantly for any sign of Jeanne's captors while doing their normal surveillance for German movements and actions. It had been months, and there had been no further word on Jeanne's ransom conditions. He greatly feared for his daughter's life now because of the prolonged silence. Perhaps they were all killed fleeing in the jungle. He would not let himself think the worst had happened. Not yet, anyway.
A Corporal presented a freshly transcribed note, "Sir, you need to see this."
It said:
Dear Elisabeth and Edward,
Wonderful news here. The twins are born! One of each. Paul and Elisabeth – named after you, my dearest caregiver. All natural births. Kala was such a good midwife. Lily was very helpful!
Jack is happy for the births but otherwise there's no change since the incident. In fact he's gotten worse. We're worried. Pray for him.
We're hoping that Josephine's delivery is just as happy.
Jonathan and Jane
Armand read it. Twice. And he just about threw it away. The last two paragraphs he knew were intentionally for him and Josephine. His heart held no forgiveness despite their outreach.
When the Colonel got home late to their quarters, Josephine was resting. It was nearly her time as well. All the stress and worry about Jeanne had made her weak, as well as the long trek through the jungle from the land of the Mangani to Dahomey, and was not carrying her child well. A nurse visited her regularly. She had to be very careful of herself.
Armand tentatively suggested, "Josephine, I think you should read this."
She read the note and tossed it over on Armand's study desk.
Josephine snapped, "What do I care about Jane's babies? Or that Jack is devastated? I have enough worries of my own about my baby and our first baby lost in the jungle because of Jack."
Armand tried to be understanding, "I just thought you might interested, Jo…"
She gave him an icy stare, "You thought wrong."
For emphasis, she crumpled the message transcription and threw it in the trash.
Armand just sighed. The French soldier had such mixed feelings about the terrible parting of ways between the families. He respected the Count and had called him 'friend'. Moreover, Jane had been the first woman in years with whom Josephine had a real friendship. That was clearly over now. And he could never forget what caused it to be over. Nor would she let him, to the point of feeling browbeaten by her insistence. He could not recall a time when Josephine harbored such anger and had so little compassion for others besides their immediate family. There were so many terrible things said and done, but the Count had been right in one thing. The Clayton's had vast resources to search for the Jacot's daughter that could have been used starting the first day of their return to the treehouse. But right now, not one of those means was being used to aid the search, now in the third month of silence from the Germans about her whereabouts, her condition, and the terms of delivery of the ransom. He couldn't go forward to his superiors until they had heard the terms and the delivery requirements. This was a very rough time for them all.
Armand knew there was nothing more for him to say on this very touchy subject, "I'm going to bed now Jo. Call me if you need anything."
"I will join you soon. I'm all stiff and cramped right now. I need to stretch and walk around the apartment."
When Armand went to bed and it was clear he was asleep, Josephine dug around in the trash, fished out the note, carefully opened it, flattened it, read it again and again, and as she did, tears stained the paper.
She looked up and caught her own reflection in mirror on the desk, saw her pale and bloodshot eyes, and muttered to herself, "You cannot feel this way. You don't have time to feel anything for them. Especially Jack."
But she could not help herself. For the briefest moment, she felt sorrow for Jack's unending pain that matched hers, but her steely façade of stoicism was quickly erected again. But Josephine didn't throw the note away this time.
She composed herself, wiped away the latest set of tears, and removed a small locked box behind her copy of "The Jungle Book" that Jane had once given her as a gift. She carefully put the letter away next to her Nigerian leather waist cord, wrist and ankle jewelry, which were placed right next to Jeanne's cord and jewelry that she'd given her mother for safekeeping when she went Mangani 'all the way', and rehid the box deep in the shelf.
Josephine grimaced, sighed, looked at the floor, unable to see her own feet now, and muttered to herself, "You know exactly what you are doing…"
Josephine, ever since they had returned, often argued with herself in private. It was a disturbing secret.
She heard her husband beckon, "Honey. Come to bed. You need your rest. Our baby will come soon and you'll never get any sleep."
She replied more pleasantly, "Coming…" knowing that was a cue to come make love to him, which she had not done nearly enough times since they were finally safe in Dahomey – back in real French civilization.
She unbuttoned the top of her maternity dress, continuing downward in haste, and let her breasts spill out for Armand as the bed sheets rose with anticipation around his midsection. Josephine was very happy that she was extremely alluring to Armand at the peak of her pregnancy. It made her feel pretty even when she thought she wasn't. Their lovemaking made her forget, if only for awhile, the pain of missing Jeanne, the guilt of utterly destroying her relationship with Jane, and her unforgivably vicious physical and verbal attacks against an already distraught nine year old boy. She missed the freedom that living naturally as a Mangani female felt like lying nude beside her husband after their time together.
As she drifted off to sleep in her husband's embrace from behind her, with her guard down, she wondered how Jane was doing with the twins.
…
Authors Notes: For the Clayton's, it is always, completely, and totally about the family from two worlds – just as Disney defined their version of Tarzan and Jane. That makes childbirth a family affair too and everyone has a part. Jack and Jane have the first real mother-son discussion about the terrible feelings he has, and despite their final fight, progress is made. And even though she won't truly admit it, Josephine knows the damage she wrought on Jack was terribly wrong and it literally fighting herself to make some amends for it.