Standing Still - Chapter Eighteen

It's been a month now since the accident and Ana is finally being released from the hospital. We've had setback after setback and her health is still not where is was or should be.

I have arranged to have Holly come to the house daily to help with Ana's physical therapy and I've reorganised the gym to meet Ana's requirements. The whole house has had to be modified and I even got Elliot to help build an small elevator so Ana doesn't have to worry about the stairs.

I've also hired a live in nurse to make sure Ana had everything she needs as well as an extra housekeeper to help out Gail. Of course Gail wasn't happy about it but she's really had her hands full with the kids and both her and Ana wouldn't budge on me hiring a nanny.

I'm both scared and excited that Ana can now come home, it's not going to be easy but it needs to happen. The children have missed their mother so much and Ana needs some normality and some good old home comforts.

I can't hide my anxiety though because in so many ways Ana is still very sick and frail. She needs a lot of help and encouragement and I worry that I may not always be able to meet her needs.

I've left the children at home today because the whole family is planning a surprise 'Welcome home' party for Ana. Teddy was desperate to help and little Phoebe was napping when I left the house.

Taylor drives me to the hospital and I'm so nervous I can hardly keep still in my seat. As I enter her room I find her suitcase already packed and Ana waiting for me, already seated in her wheelchair.

"Wow, so ready to go," I ask smiling.

"Definitely, lets roll," she replies enthusiastically.

I pause briefly to lay a kiss on her lips then hand the suitcase to Taylor as I push the wheelchair towards the door. I slowly push her along the corridor and over to the elevator as we say our goodbyes and our thanks to the medical staff.

"Faster," Ana urges as we emerge from the elevator.

"In a hurry Mrs Grey."

"Yes, I want to get out of here before anyone stops me," explains Ana.

"Is someone about to stop you?"

"Hopefully not but you can tell for sure, remember last time."

"I do," I say sadly as I think back to Ana's last failed exit from the hospital.

Two Weeks Earlier

"I'm going home," Ana sings excitedly.

"Yes you are baby and I'm so happy. Do you have everything packed?"

"I do although it was packed for me but I think Molly got it all."

"I'll look around and just check just in case."

I look around the room and through the few drawers but everything looks to have been packed. I'm just coming back from checking the bathroom when I spot Dr. Stephens talking to Ana.

Ana's face is pale and the joy that was there just seconds ago has vanished.

"What's wrong," I ask hesitantly.

"They won't let me go home," sobs Ana brokenly.

"What?"

"Mr Grey a word," Dr. Stephens asks beckoning me to a chair beside my wife.

"I'm afraid Ana's too sick to leave today, we got her test results back and it's not good news."

"What? you said they were just a precaution, you said Ana was okay to go home."

"I was wrong, Ana needs to stay in the hospital for the time being. I'm sorry but going home is just not an option."

"What's wrong with me?" asks Ana softly.

"We found an explanation for the back pain and unfortunately it's a lot more serious than I first thought."

"What is it," I shout annoyed by him not getting to the point.

"Your kidneys were damaged when you fractured your pelvis but it wasn't found at first because your left kidney was still functioning. The back pain was due to the injury and as time has progressed your left kidney function has slowly deteriorated.

Without intervention soon Ana you will get sicker and sicker, you need to start dialysis immediately."

We both stare at the doctor in stunned silence, I can't get my head around what he said.

"No, I'm going home," says Ana breaking the lull.

"You can't leave Ana, you need to stay and get better," the doctor says sadly.

"No, I'm going. I feel fine, there's nothing wrong with me."

"I'm sorry but you can't go, your not ready to leave," he reiterates.

I watch in a daze as Ana tries to move herself towards the door, she's so adamant about leaving she even manages to move the wheelchair.

"You can't leave," I hear the doctor repeat as he tries to pull her back.

"I'M LEAVING," Ana shouts angrily back.

I can't stand watching her she's so upset but I know what needs to happen. I stand and walk towards her then stoop down so I'm facing her.

"Ana we can't go home," I say softly.

"I'M LEAVING," she shouts again.

I take a deep breath but everything shatters inside me and without meaning to I snap.

"FOR GODS SAKE ANA STOP, YOUR GOING NOWHERE," I shout back.

Ana flinches at my words and stops trying to move the wheelchair. She just stares at me her eyes seem so empty that my heart breaks for her.

"I'm sorry for shouting but you need to stay here baby. You need to be well before I can take you home."

"I don't want to stay," she sobs.

"I know, I don't either but you can't go, not now."

I pull her into her arms and hold her and together we break down. I so wanted to take her home today and now I can't. Eventually I pick her up from the wheelchair and carry her back to the bed. I lay her down then lay down beside her and that's where we'll stay for the foreseeable future.

Present Day

That was an awful day, one of the worst days of my life and I certainly have a lot of those. Ana was in the hospital for another two weeks after that day and suffered a lot during that time.

She still has poor function in her left kidney but her right is gone forever. She had to begin dialysis and has been through so many tests and medical procedures that I can't believe she's still so cheerful.

At present her doctors are hoping that her left kidney will recover from the trauma and eventually function again. So far not much has changed and Ana has to endure haemodialysis several times a week for several hours at a time.

I've researched everything I can about kidney failure and realised we were lucky Ana's doctors finally realised what was wrong. Ana could have gotten a lot sicker without the dialysis, she could have died if not for Dr. Stephens intervention.

Ana's nephrologist 'Dr. Austin' was suggested by my mother and she's really been wonderful. She explains things so clearly and has been so reassuring with both Ana and me.

Ana has her bad days as do I but thankfully we never have a bad day at the same time. I hold her hand and she holds mine and together we've managed to get through these last upsetting two weeks.

I can't believe we've pulled it off as we finally drive away from our home for the last month. Watching the large building disappear into the distance both Ana and I cheer but unfortunately I know we'll be back. Ana still has her dialysis and check ups to attend but for now we can't help but smile at our shared freedom.