Transition Plan Chapter 102: Searching for Jeanne Part 20

Warning: Rated T for OC character death. You know who it is.

Author's Notes: Responding to several of you who really are ready to see if Jack rescues Jeanne, sooner than later. I am too and I want to share it for your enjoyment. Since every chapter is now written (and in editing) I would like to publish more chapters sooner. So I will go to a twice per week schedule for awhile, go back to once a week while I am taking vacation, and then back to an accelerated schedule - Fridays and Tuesdays. I think at least a couple of you would be pretty happy about that :) As always I look forward to hearing from you.

…

Jack struggled with his emotions as he watched Eleanor's beautiful form disappear into woods toward her estate. He genuinely and dearly loved her and was still reliving the incredible experience of making love to her, and he knew she was carrying his seed inside her for the first and maybe last time, but he was devastated by the fact that he had been completely unfaithful to Jeanne because of their affair.

He was at a complete loss of words for her candor and selflessness, "Eleanor…" he called, realizing just how amazing she was. She put his needs and Jeanne's needs before her own needs. He could not imagine another woman would be completely above her own self interests enough to let her lover go and find out which of two women he wanted. He wanted to mount his horse, run to stop her right now and commit his life to her. But something inside made him hesitate. Maybe it was the strong love he still had for Jeanne. Maybe it was his connection to Jeanne. Maybe it was his terrible and growing guilt.

This was killing him inside to be torn between too great loves. He didn't go back to the castle right away, but sat on a branch weighing the full gravity of the situation.

"How did I let this go this far so fast? How is it possible for me to love two women, one merely in a few months, the other for years?" he lamented, knowing he could spend his life with only one.

"How on earth will I explain this to Jeanne? Will she understand? Will she forgive me?"

He remembered the hallway conversation with Jeanne at Walvis Bay. She admitted to an affair with Jeager but she told Jack hadn't betrayed their trust. Unlike he had done just now, in a very big way. Willingly. Jeanne had been strong against temptation, and he had been weak… and failed.

Jack fell to his knees and begged forgiveness in prayer for his weakness in a moment of true passion that should never have happened. For his love for two women. Two incredible women.

But buoyed by both the love of Eleanor and Jeanne, he stood tall and vowed aloud, "No 'but's'. Be a man, Korak. Do what Eleanor asked you. Find Jeanne. Bring her home. Find yourself. And find out what's real to you. Jeanne or Eleanor."

Jack finally had the courage to dress and go home. He hitched Samson to his stall at the stable, groomed and fed his horse, and thanked him for the great ride as usual. He went straight up to his room. And then the weight of all that happened and all the mistakes hit him at once.

Tarzan and Jane heard crying.

"Who's crying?" Tarzan wondered.

"It's Jack!" Jane startled and got up.

Tarzan noted, "Jack never cries. Not since he was a little boy. Not since the kidnapping."

"I'll go. He needs his mother…"

"No, Jane dear. I'll go up. He's been with Eleanor all day. Something may have blown up over Jeanne. That is bound to come up. He needs a father/son talk."

Jane agreed, "I will be in the hall. I have to hear. In case he needs me too."

Tarzan knocked at the open door to Jack's bedroom.

Jack tried to hide the fact he was sobbing, and attempted to dismiss his father, "Go away Dad. Leave me alone."

"I think you need someone to talk to, son," Tarzan suggested quietly.

Jack sighed and realized that was true, "Yeah Dad. Maybe so."

They sat next to each other.

"This time I've really made a mess of things, Dad."

"About what?"

"Not a what. A who."

"Who then?"

"Eleanor…"

"She's a beautiful young woman, Jack. And has an even more beautiful personality. You've chosen very well."

"Yeah, but I wasn't supposed to choose her at all. She's so beautiful she makes my head spin. She makes me forget things I should never have forgotten in the first place. Like the fact that I'm already in love with Jeanne."

"Well you and she spend a lot of time together. Something like this was going to happen. I admit your Mother and I didn't help slow things down. But Jack. You're so happy being with her. You needed a friend. I know you're in love with Jeanne, But Jack, son, all you ever do is think about Jeanne. Your mother and I are concerned about that… obsession…"

"No Dad. You're wrong. I'm not thinking enough about Jeanne. Every day she's not back with us is one more day she slips away to be lost from me and her parents forever. Eleanor and I shouldn't have been together. That party should have been it, and no more. I didn't need a new female friend. And I should have never stopped thinking about Jeanne… because the minute I did Dad, I started thinking about Eleanor. Eleanor… someone who is… is as lovely in her heart as much as she looks, Dad."

"Your mother and I think you like each other."

With a visible sigh he admitted, "We love each other, Dad."

It was much more serious than Tarzan thought, though Jane suspected, "But Jack. It's been only a few months."

"Yeah. I know. I can't explain it. She's that amazing…"

"But how is that bad, Jack?"

"Because I love Jeanne too, Dad. And she loves me."

Tarzan was suddenly in unknown territory.

"How do you know Jeanne still loves you?"

"Walvis Bay, Dad. She said so. And that connection I told you about. We just know. Now I've betrayed that love, Dad. She doesn't know that I fell in love with Eleanor while she's been gone. That's why it's so bad."

"Walvis Bay was three years ago, son. You were both barely teens then. Things happen for a reason Jack. You love a 9 year old girl and she loves a 9 year old boy. Girls and boys just start to discover each other then. It was new and exciting. It's been seven years now Jack. Seven…"

"We love each other as grown ups now, Dad. I told you why and how."

"Jack, listen to me, please. Connection or not, in seven years, you and Jeanne have spent only 15 minutes physically together in a hallway trying to escape for your lives at gunpoint. You can't be that sure. Have you considered you both were clinging to the old feelings because you were frightened and she needed something solid to hang on to in order to get her through that awful day?"

"I know Dad. That could be true. I… I just don't know. But now I've made things even worse."

"How?" asked Tarzan with great concern.

Jack's eyes were closed and his head raised as he confessed, "I just made love to Eleanor by the mountain pond."

Jane nearly fainted in the hallway.

Tarzan looked at Jack angrily. "That's very bad Jack. What did I teach you about respecting women? Especially Eleanor and even more important: you were not being faithful to Jeanne. I'm really disappointed in you. Does Eleanor know you love her and Jeanne?"

"Yes. And she accepts that."

Tarzan was having a hard time remaining calm with his son, "Jack, this is very serious. What did she do? What did she say? Didn't she try to stop this? She's as much at fault for letting you. Is she trying to steal you away from Jeanne?"

It was too many questions, but he tried to answer the basic one, "No, Father. She would never ever do that. But yes, neither one of us stopped this from happening. This just happened. She told me to go rescue Jeanne and she will wait for me until I rescue Jeanne. She demanded I fulfill that promise to Jeanne and her family. And she promised she'll wait until I Jeanne and I figure out what we really mean to each other. Eleanor told me that Jeanne might have changed too, just like you told me. I don't want to believe that, but I know it could happen."

"Eleanor may be right. That's why she's being so hopeful, and not closing any doors with you. That's true love Jack. And true trust."

"A trust I just broke with Jeanne."

"You said it son, not me. Eleanor is an incredible young woman, Jack. You might have the 'right girl' in your arms right now. Especially if Jeanne turns out to be a very different woman."

"Yeah. I just might. This is why everything I did is so awful. Someone walks away from this broken hearted."

"You should have thought about that a lot earlier son. And stopped whenever that first kiss happened. Both women could decide you're not worth it. I wouldn't blame them a bit. You cheated on one and you showed the other you're not trustworthy in a relationship."

"I know. I know. Gahhh! This is killing me, Dad. I never intended to fall in love with Eleanor. We just did. We were friends. All the way until we were shocked to find out we're lovers. We just 'click'. It was so fast. Everything about her is so perfect…"

He could see how troubled Jack was. To show some compassion, Tarzan observed, "Seems to me I remember a little boy and girl who fell in love nearly overnight 7 years ago."

"Yeah…" his mind went right back to that moment and wished that right now it was just as simple.

"Jack I don't know what more advice to give you. You messed up really badly, son. Her too. It takes two. But I must know. Did you initiate making love to her?"

"She wanted to more, but only just a little more. It was easy to say 'yes' when she wanted me to…"

Tarzan the father just shook his head in dismay, "You know what can happen to her, right?"

"Yes Dad. I do."

"If it does son, you know your choice is made for Eleanor, whether you want Jeanne more or not. We and her parents will insist on it. No matter what Jeanne feels about the situation."

"I know dad. Dear God, how I know…"

Jack sobbed against his father's shoulders for several minutes. It was everything Jane could do not to interfere. Tarzan was right; this was the biggest mistake of Jack's young life. Three lives would be affected – and maybe one more - and would pay dearly for his huge error. Ultimately it was his fault, even if Eleanor wanted him just as much. But he did take full responsibility.

Jack sat up and wiped his remaining tears, and Tarzan asked, "Are you going to be all right?"

"Well, I will probably never really be all right about this, no matter what happens between the three of us. But yeah. For now I'm OK Dad."

"Will you sleep?"

"Yes. I… I think so. I won't do anything bad to myself if that is what you mean. That won't do anyone any good."

Father and son hugged.

"Goodnight son. I love you, even with this happening."

"I love you too Dad. I sometimes don't know how you and Mom can put up with all the dumb things we kids do."

Tarzan put his hand on his son's shoulder, and stated, "That's the way things are between parents and children. We can lecture, advise, scold, guide, and punish, but ultimately you make your own choices. And we'll love you no matter what, no matter how angry or sad you make us. And believe me, I'm still plenty mad about this."

In the hallway, Jane's tears streamed. Tarzan was such a loving and understanding yet firm father.

Jane thought she needed to make an appearance and entered and hugged her son, "We love you son, even though this happened."

"I know Mom, Thank you both for understanding," he hugged back. He knew she was there in the hall.

Tarzan took his wife's hand as they went to their bedroom to talk about what might happen next and how to be prepared for it, and whether they should talk to the Duke and Duchess directly about this.

… Early August 1921…

In only a matter of a few weeks Jack would be 16. So would Jeanne. In Africa he'd be considered an adult just about everywhere. It was time he acted like one. Jack wanted to fulfill the promise he had made to Eleanor to go find Jeanne and bring her back home once and for all. The problem was that he had no better data on where to start looking than the day before he promised.

Jack missed Eleanor terribly and needed to talk to her. Between his searching over the next few days, he used the house phone to call her a number of times, but it just rang off the hook. When the butler answered, he said that the Lady Eleanor 'was indisposed'. Jack hated when servants used that phrase. It told you nothing and it told you to go away and don't bother them at the same time.

A week later, the phone rang in the Clayton household. Jane answered, "Hello? Oh! Yes, Duchess?"

Jane and the Duchess and chatted. Jack was anxious to know what they were talking about, but at a certain point, his mother's face was ashen and shaken.

She called him to the phone, "It's for you, Jack. It's Duchess DunBroch. Jack, what you are about to hear you must be brave for, son."

"OK, Mom," he said nervously as he gingerly put the phone to his ear. He expected to be chewed out by the Duchess for having an illicit affair.

"Viscount Clayton?" rasped a voice that had been crying for too long.

"Y-y-yes, Countess," Jack answered even more tentatively hearing the sound.

"Eleanor needs you. Please come quickly. She doesn't have much time."

He dropped the phone, raced to the stable, saddled Samson and galloped to the DunBroch's estate. He didn't even say goodbye to his parents. Jack made the journey to Castle DunBroch in record time and ran to the door.

Jack was escorted hurriedly to her bedroom. Her ruffled, full-length, little girl style pink nightgown was beautiful. There, the local physician tended to her, administering medicines and sedatives to ease the obvious pain she was suffering. The hospital was miles away, but no hospital in the world would do any good now. The Anglican priest from the village was there. That was not a good sign.

He looked at her. She looked terribly weak and very uncomfortable.

"Jack…" she said weakly, but managed to make that amazing smile for him, and she reached out to hold him.

"I'm here, love," gently letting her hug him.

She gripped him like her life depended on his touch. He was afraid to break her she was so thin. Her breathing was as ragged as her pulse, which he could barely feel.

He was completely frantic, "Eleanor, what happened? What's wrong? You were just fine just two weeks ago."

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone to you when you called. I didn't know what to say. Or that I should say anything. I'm sick, Jack. Really sick this time, sweetheart."

"Sick of me?"

"No silly," which made her laugh. She coughed. It sounded terrible.

"Flu again?"

"No Jack. Something else much worse. I told you I've always been sick. It's my heart, Jack. It can't pump enough and it doesn't want to pump anymore according to the doctor. The medicines aren't working. Rest doesn't work."

"Was it anything we did? I couldn't stand it if I strained you."

"No dear. Rest assured. This would have happened anyway in a few months or a few years. This, dearest Jack, was inevitable, I… I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't tell you how bad it was. The doctor calls it 'congenital heart failure'. I didn't really know it was this bad. I didn't want to believe it myself. I was too afraid you'd… you'd leave me," she stammered and cried and gripped his hand as tightly as she could now.

Jack tried to calm her worry, "It's not your fault. Every moment we've been together has been the best time of my life, Eleanor."

"It has for me too, dear Jack. I tried to tell myself my illness wasn't true and wasn't happening. And I didn't want to make you fall in love with me for pity or companionship for a dying girl. It would be so selfish of me. But you're just you, Jack, and you charmed me from the first minute of that party. You made me happier than I've ever been in my life, Jack Clayton," she cried.

She looked away utterly ashamed, "But with a heavy price, Jack. I've ruined what you had with your Jeanne."

He was still panicked, praying that this was some kind of awful mistake, "But Eleanor, you can't be this sick. I love you. You asked me to come back to you. After… Well… You know… Finding Jeanne."

She said regretfully, "I know I did. I really thought I'd last years longer for you to do that. I know you love me. Everything you do and say tells me that. I love you too. I… I'm sorry. This should have never happened. I didn't mean to lead you on. This makes your choice a lot easier now, love."

Jack's voice cracked, "Don't say that. You never led me on. This was real. This was both of us falling in love with each other."

Jack was weeping holding her hand. It was cold and getting colder.

She begged him, "Please don't dwell on me. Go find her. Love her. Make lots of babies with her. I'll see you in heaven with our baby. Doc MacGregor just told me."

That totally shocked him and her parents.

But he was extremely happy, "What? A baby? That's incredible. Please stay alive for him or her. My choice is made now. I am not leaving you now, Eleanor. I want to hold our baby."

He voice was fading, "I'm sorry Jack, I can't make you a father… I can't stay around that long for the baby. I'm not strong enough. But isn't it wonderful, Jack? Our one time at the lake in that beautiful, perfect time together, my love, we made a baby. For once in my life I was healthy enough for awhile to do something right."

"Yes. Yes we did," Jack was falling apart inside trying to be strong for his fading Eleanor. He watched the life drain out of her.

She coughed and drew a long hard breath, "She's a girl. I know she is, Jack. Firstborns in our family are always girls."

Not letting go of her hand, he asked, "What are we going to call her, sweetheart?"

"Why? She'll never be born," she said sadly.

"She's our daughter, Eleanor. Even now. Psalms says: 'You knitted me together in my mother's womb'. She has to have a name. She's ours. I have to remember her as much as I remember you. Oh dear God, forgive me for saying this Eleanor… I want her name to be with yours on your stone…"

The Duchess was falling apart behind him. For both Eleanor and Jack.

"OK. OK… How about Meri?"

"Mary?"

"No. Meri… dearest Jack. After my ancestor Merida."

"It's perfect, sweetheart. And now, I must make things right. Pastor, can you marry us?"

Everyone was stunned at Jack's request.

The clergyman was perplexed, "It's not customary to marry a couple - one of whom has just been given last rights."

"We'll make this a first for you, then Pastor."

He saw the determined expression on Jack's face, "All right. God's Will be done."

it would never be 'official' in civilian records, but they would be married in God's sight this way.

Eleanor shook her head weakly, "Oh Jack, no you mustn't. I'm not worth it. It makes things worse with Jeanne. I don't have much time."

"Don't argue with me. It doesn't make one whit's difference with Jeanne, now, dearest. Will you marry me, Eleanor DunBroch?"

She couldn't resist those shining opal eyes and smiling face, "Yes Jack, I of course I will. You are the one I always dreamed I'd have. But please… hurry…"

Her cough was weaker. He could see her pain increase.

After the quick exchange of vows and kisses, her parents left them alone for awhile. The newlyweds cherished the limited time they had together, and made wishful but never possible plans in addition to reflecting on their short, tender courtship.

"Thank you Jack. You made me the happiest 'sick girl' in all of Scotland. I never thought I would ever marry. No one would ever want me. Especially not someone as handsome and caring as you. I wish it could be forever. But I've lived forever in just one summer with you, sweetheart. I love you, Jack. Tell Jeanne I'm sorry I made our lives such a mess. If she really truly loves you still sweetheart, she'll understand this somehow. Maybe I can still do something to explain that you did the right thing for us, dearest."

Jack knew it was impossible for Eleanor to help set things right beyond the grave. It was just the wishful babblings of a young woman just barely 16 years and facing death in moments, so he didn't argue with her.

"I love you too. That is for certain."

She raised her voice as loudly as she could, and requested, "Mom and Dad, brothers, please come back now."

She let them all kiss and hug her goodbye. Everyone was in tears.

They stood by helplessly as Jack was last to give Eleanor a 'goodbye' kiss, but as he pulled away, she coughed horribly. She groaned and clutched her chest. It was another, final heart attack. She could feel her heart stop. He squeezed her hand.

She rasped, "T-t-time to go... 'Love you…"

"I love you too, wife Eleanor Clayton."

It was the last thing she heard. Her ragged breathing stopped and ended in an exhale and she never drew another one.

"Oh dear God," he choked and collapsed across her body, holding her limp hand.

He wept and hugged her with her parents and the triplets hugging her and him too.

When at last they rose and stopped crying, the Duke dismissed his boys and said gravely to Jack, "The Duchess and I should be very mad at you Jack – and Eleanor - for what you did together not being married, and that this love should have never happened between you two."

Jack was ready to be dealt with severely. He couldn't shake the thought that somehow he had caused her death by overstraining her by their lovemaking and all their courting activities.

The red bearded, red headed, big-nosed man had to take a very deep breath, "But we're not, son. We are forever grateful you fell in love with her. In the end you did the right thing. And we will never forget it Jack. That was the kindest, most unselfish thing you did for her. We know she died happier than any time in her life, young loved her with your whole heart, Jack. Unselfishly. In spite of the fact she was so sick, sicker than any of us suspected. And we know there's a young woman lost out there that you care for, and may have done irreparable harm because of this. Your father told me. She must understand that this was good for Eleanor. If I can say anything to this young woman to convince to stay with you I will. Eleanor needed you more than you know, and she didn't even know that she did. Because of you, Jack, the end of her life was peaceful, happy, and had meaning. I pray the other girl can forgive you, no matter what happens when you find her. Tell her you made a dying girl's last wish of happiness come true. Someone to truly love her at the end of her life. Not just her parents. You will always be welcome in this family, Jack. Whatever we can do to mend things with your girl, we will."

"Thank you. Just help my dad be successful again. And… I'd like it if you wrote a letter to Jeanne that I can give her."

"Gladly Jack. I'd meet with the girl if I have to, just to make things right. Are you going to be OK going home, or should I come with you?"

"Thank you Duke DunBroch, but I will be all right."

Good luck, Jack. I know you will find her. May God bless you with a very good life together, my boy."

"Thank you, Duke DunBroch…"

The Duchess couldn't take it. She collapsed in tears. She knew the 'good life' that her husband prayed for Jack could have been with their Eleanor.

Jack couldn't turn around or say another word. He just mounted his horse and departed.

Jack knew that he'd made one girl happy in her final hours but he might kill another in heartbreak. Because of his carelessness with his desires, Jack had both created and destroyed another human being with Eleanor's death. Their daughter Meri.

"Mighty Korak the Killer…" he chastised himself with the terrible irony, "Killing or hurting everything I love."

He could not feel any more despondent. This was all because of him.

…

On his way home, it was near dusk. He heard something like a pipe sound in the woods off the riding trail. It attracted him. He noticed a faint blue blob of light grow stronger.

It was a wisp. Just like Eleanor described.

And then a whole string of them led a path for him up a hill. It was very dark and omninous all around him. He knew it was not even sundown. Wherever he was it was night. Maybe it was always night here.

It led to a Stonehenge-like ancient structure. Several stones stood tall and strong, but one seemed to have snapped in the middle and fallen inward. What were those huge bone fragments on the ground?

There were two wisps left. One transformed into a human image against the fallen stone.

Jack gasped. It was the Lady Eleanor.

She was beautiful beyond words in a strong new spirit body with beautiful healthy skin and beaming face, not the frail one he knew and had just seen pass away. She was dressed in a glowing diaphanous white gown. Her slender, beautiful freckled arms were bejeweled with gems he didn't recognize.

Eleanor mouthed the words, "I love you, Jack."

He could not hear her but felt the words in his mind and tried to think back the same words to her.

And then he was thunderstruck. The second wisp transformed. Somehow he knew it was a baby at its very earliest stages of growth. Its transformation continued constantly, going through all the steps of embryonic growth to become a newborn, an infant, toddler, little girl, a pre-teen, and then a teenage girl of 13 or 14 - in the space of seconds. It was a girl he'd never seen before but it was a girl he instantly knew. He already knew what Eleanor would say. The spirit of Eleanor put her arm around the teen spirit's pretty thin waist and smiled proudly.

"Meri. Our daughter", Eleanor's spirit stated proudly, but again the words could only be sensed and not heard.

The new spirit said silently as he read her lips and felt her words in his mind, "Hi Daddy. I'm Meri! I love you."

Meri had the same wild, curly, and unruly hair as her mother, but the color was like his and his own mother's - auburn. Her eyes were green as green could be. Just like Jack's. Meri had most of Jack's facial features, more square, less round. She was every bit as feminine as her mother however, and dressed in the same shimmering perfect white gown. She turned around for him gracefully and the gown and her hair flowed gently.

"You're beautiful, Meri. I love you, too. Just like I do your mother," Jack could barely think.

As he reached out fearlessly to touch them both, and felt something like a warm breeze when his hand touched theirs and they both smiled lovingly at him. The feeling of shared emotions was overwhelming and peaceful.

The words formed in Jack's head, as Eleanor silently spoke, "We have to go now, dearest. We love you more than you can ever know. Thank you. Go to Jeanne. Love her. God will bless your happy life."

"I… I love you too," he choked.

Their images looked joyously into the skies, and vanished upwards into a great, blinding white light that enveloped them and took them away. He fell to his knees sobbing, but instantly knew in whose hands his girls were now.

His hands.

The hands of the very same Lord who touched him now to get through this human tragedy that at least in part was ending miraculously. He felt forgiven for all his mistakes. And had hope for a difficult conversation yet to come with Jeanne.

It was an entirely different kind of connection Jack had now. One that was infinite. He was enveloped in the same white light that surrounded his girls and it blinded him.

When he stood and the blindness cleared in his eyes, he was on the trail home, standing next to his mount like he had never followed the wisps.

"Did you see something, Samson?"

"Nope. You never left and have been standing here nearly an hour. Not moving at all. It was kind of creepy actually."

Despite what his horse had not seen, he knew it all actually happened.

…Same night, but later. Siegfried's Burlesque Dance Hall, Dar es Salaam…

Jeanne was about to go on stage again. A few hours before, she felt something was horribly, irrevocably wrong with Jack, something like the suicide attempt, and she was absolutely panicked. Jeanne felt death touch Jack. She was frantic it was his death, but then she felt some kind of infinite peace touch his soul. He was still here. Still here for only her, the feeling seemed to imply. Something inside her told her she must forgive Jack. It was not Jack asking. It was something… something much more powerful. And there was a warning with the new contact with that peaceful spirit that was connected to her: they had to find each other. All would be lost this time if they didn't get back together the third time. She knew that already. Connection or not she had to give some kind of clue to Jack to find her. The word kept coming back to her for weeks: 'radio'.

…

Jack arrived home, and walked right past the dining room. It was well after dark. Only Jane and Tarzan were at the table sipping some wine. They were on edge for Jack since he bolted out of the castle in response to the Duchess' panicked phone call.

Jane stood with her hands together anxiously and called to her son, "Are you OK? We saved some dinner for you."

"I'm not hungry Mom. Thanks," he said but kept walking and started up the main spiral staircase.

"How is Eleanor, Jack? Is everything OK?" asked Jane nervously.

He stood on part way up the stairs, turned, and lost his composure completely, clenching his hands and teeth to keep some control, his voice quivering in terrible regret and grief, "She died, Mom. She died in my arms. Congenital heart failure. She's always had it. She was born with it."

His voiced cracked, and he could barely state, "And Mom and Dad… I'm so sorry… she was pregnant, so I had the preacher marry us at the end. For the baby we'll never have... About an hour we were husband and wife. After everything I did wrong, I did the right thing, Mom and Dad. Please leave me alone now. I… I need some time."

Tarzan and Jane were absolutely shocked and devastated into silence and yet proud of Jack at the same time. Such profound sadness and tragedy for this young man.

Jack rushed up the stairs and slammed the door closed to his room. The other kids knew something was dreadfully wrong but remained silent and in their rooms.

"My poor Jack…" Jane exclaimed utterly shocked, and clutched her bosom, sitting so she didn't faint. Tarzan steadied her and seated her gently. The Duchess had not said Eleanor was that close to death.

Jane begged, "Tarzan? Do something. Our son is hurting terribly."

"Let him go for a few minutes."

"How can you say that? Didn't you hear him?"

"He asked for time, Jane. We need to let him grieve. This just happened…"

Tarzan and Jane gathered the other children together and informed them of the terrible news. Lily covered her eyes and wailed. She hurt as much for her brother as for Eleanor.

The crying in Jack's bedroom went for some time, but then stopped. Silence was not a good thing.

"It's time to go up, dear," Tarzan suggested gently and took her very unsteady hand and climbed the stairway.

They checked his room. It was empty. They checked nearly everywhere on the upper floor, except the place they should have in the first place. The family chapel at the far end of the hallway. He was there. He was reading Psalm 23 and a few passages from Paul's epistles about the assurances of life after death. He was humming some good old favorite hymns.

Jane asked tentatively, "Are you OK, Jack?"

Despite the tracks of his tears on his face, Jack seemed at peace. He didn't have the anguish he had at his arrival and the sadness of crying in his room.

He said tentatively, "Not right now, but I will be. I should be devastated beyond words, Mom and Dad. A mess. But I'm not."

"Why son?"

Jack explained with a little more confidence, "After she died while I held her, we all fell apart. I never felt more empty. I've never experienced death like this before. On the way home, I saw her, Mom and Dad. I saw God take her. And our baby. Meri. She was all grown up. She was as pretty as her mother Eleanor. God let me see them both, Dad. It was a miracle."

Tarzan and Jane did not doubt for a moment the truth of what Jack saw. It was etched on his face. Some things were unexplainable. For a reason. Jane and Tarzan said nothing about Jack's admission of Eleanor being pregnant by him in their one time union. They were all mentally prepared for that. This was not the time to be angry about such things.

"Where did you see her, Jack?" asked his father.

"It was in a ruin. Somewhere on their estate. Some kind of structure like Stonehenge."

Tarzan noted, "There's no ruins on the DunBroch estate. Not any more, at least. The ancient temple rocks crumbled or were excavated centuries ago. Fergus told me that. There's only one little cornerstone that survives in their library."

They all realized that Jack had seen something miraculous. Something not of this time or of this world, but the one beyond and the one past.

The three all joined in prayers together at the prayer rail and kneelers in the chapel.

Finally Jack seemed calm, "I'm OK now."

He hugged them and went to bed.

Tarzan and Jane stayed in the chapel awhile. They needed to pray on their own as parents, and they knelt together with a gentle kiss and held hands to prepare to pray.

"Did you see his eyes, dear?" Jane asked.

"Yes. There was a light," Tarzan reflected.

They said their own prayers of thanks for his peaceful heart and the miracle that Jack could see Eleanor and their child.

Jane asked with considerable worry, "Tarzan? Do you think he and Jeanne can ever reconcile after this?"

Without hesitation, Tarzan answered, "If God can let Jack see Eleanor and their baby in the afterlife then He can heal a torn relationship, Jane."

…A few days later. Castle DunBroch gardens…

At the funeral, Jack stood alone and close to but apart from the DunBroch's and his own family, who came to support his grieving.

The graveside memorial service was touching, but there were only a handful of people.

He was the last to give a tribute, "Eleanor, my love. Dear wife but for only a blink of eye and mother to our daughter whom I'll never know. I love you and will always miss you both. I dedicate these yellow roses – your favorites - to the memories of places we can never go or never be but are laid in your honor. Your love for me will be in my heart forever. No matter what lies ahead. Farewell, sweetheart."

Jack knelt and couldn't hold the tears. He was racked in sadness like Jane had never seen. Jane and the Duchess put their arms around him. It did little good, but eventually he managed to compose himself and stood.

As he did, porters from the Clayton estate brought in bundles and bundles of thousands of fresh yellow roses like the garden, but collected from gardens all over the world. Her casket and the ground around it was littlerly covered completely in roses from lands and countries across the world, including a rare yellow wild rose from the Nigeria. She could never go those places with him now, so he brought roses from all those places to her resting place. It had cost him a fortune but it was the least he could do.

There were no dry eyes among the grievers as she and the beginnings of their baby inside her were lowered into the ground and the roses covered her grave site with the Pastor doing the consecration of her body to the earth.

A veil was removed from the headstone. The epitaph read:

Eleanor DunBroch Clayton

Cherished daughter

Beloved wife

Mother to be

Below it was the tiny memorial to Meri, where her birth and death day tragically the same as her mother's death day, was etched.

The Clayton's could see their son had aged years in the space of a few weeks. He wouldn't leave at anyone's urgings and refused food or drink. But they, like everyone else, left him to his own grieving for her.

At nearly sundown he placed the 3000th rose on at the head of her grave. It was how long they were married in seconds, and he spoke to her, "Eleanor. You know where I have to go next. The choice is made. I wish you hadn't been forced to make the choice for me. It doesn't hurt any less for you to have taken that burden. What an absolute mess I have made of my life. And yours. And hers. My selfish choices have taken you and Meri and could destroy anything I have with Jeanne. Goodbye Eleanor. God, it hurts so much that I love you. And heaven help me… I love Jeanne too."

…

Author's Notes: This story arc, 'The Lady Eleanor', was not originally planned as being so pivotal to the Jack and Jeanne story. Eleanor was meant as a cute little flirtatious distraction that Jack becomes friends with and through being tempted attains a renewed commitment to Jeanne, rather than a real love triangle story. But I thought: 'how would Jack survive something that threatened the very fiber of his commitment and love for Jeanne, after so many years apart, complicated by an unexpected tender romance over which neither has nor wants control?' Jeanne has thus far survived all the changes forced on her through her strength of will and faith to overcome everything that was thrown at her largely because she knew Jack was always there for her. Something about the steadfastness of Jack through everything was admirable of him, and the anchor for her to cling to. But Jack is human, and can make mistakes - bad ones - like the rest of us, even starting out with the best of intentions. Jack has never had a titanic struggle in his life that hasn't changed much in 7 years, whereas Jeanne's world is constant ache and trauma. His steady, normal life surrounded by family was a contrast to the struggles Jeanne has faced of extreme immorality and depravity of being forced to live in a criminal world, I needed for Jack a story of weakness and failure, yet in that failure find a new sense of commitment and caring, and ultimately a resolution that buoys and strengthens his love for Jeanne and urgency of finding her. And yes, baby Meri's name is intentional because is not only a contraction of Merida but is also a contraction of Meriem...I'm sorry that I had to let Eleanor – Disney's Merida's twin born 23 generations later – die. If any of you were affected by this story, believe me I cried over it too…